Lacey is upset. And I don’t blame her.
“Today I want to revel in how dumb we are. Or you are.” says Lacey. “Let’s see if I can channel you all…to find out why we tolerate such bullshit.”
Overtones by Jonny Greenwood plays.
Lacey walks up to a woman at an airport bookstore buying a copy of Jack & Lem in 2009.
“Wasn’t Jack a loser? …Funny Lem tolerated him all those years.” says Lacey.
She thinks. She’s a middle-aged woman. White. Upper Middle Class. Traveling for business. Raised Catholic. In her 50’s?
Time Hole by Jonny Greenwood plays.
“Yeah. …Well…
That is weird.” she says.
“Yeah! It is! Isn’t it!? …Why do we assume Lem gave a damn at all?” says Lacey. “Couldn’t Lem have been depressed after JFK died for complex reasons?”
“Yeah. He could have. …You know…I read a book about Inga Arvard once. Years ago. …I think the gay community is really into this one. But…we’re obsessed with finding his heart.” she says. “For some reason we can’t believe JFK was heartless and really never fell in love with anyone in any…meaningful way.”
“Did Bobby love Ethel enough? Did Joe love anyone that much? …Did Ted ever stay entirely faithful? …What if those men were all incapable of deep love?” says Lacey.
She thinks. “It’s extremely depressing!” she says.
“Why?” says Lacey.
“Because then what did we do!? …If JFK was just gay…we can fool ourselves into thinking he was loving and good and we have hope. We just need to keep fighting. …But if he wasn’t…then what about…America…is…worth a damn?” she says.
“America!?” says Jimmy Carter who’s listening in.
“Yeah.” she says. “Is democracy all that great? Voting? I dunno. I guess it is. …But…”
“BUT WHAT!?!?!?” says Jimmy Carter in a panic.
“What if Lem was straight…and there’s some woman who’s waiting for him…who’s miserable…” says Lacey.
She smiles.
There Will Be Blood plays.
“How rich is she?” she says.
“She’s upper class.” says Lacey.
“Then we’re in deep trouble with Russia.” she says.
“Why?” says Lacey.
“Because we’re full of shit!” she says. “I mean…we’re DELUSIONAL.”
New York, New York as performed by Frank Sinatra plays.
“What do you mean?” asks Lacey.
“Well…someone should have been aware Lem was straight. …And if his family wondered that…they should feel comfortable saying that! …And they clearly don’t. …Everyone wants to feel safe with each other. No one wants to talk about the things that are wrong with this narrative. …Because it makes…the Kennedys happy. …It makes gay men happy. …And…it’s difficult to let go and realize we don’t really know. …So…people cut corners. Even biographers. And make…huge mistakes. …But I think if David Pitts is that wrong…and actually I can see it. Lem does LOOK straight. …We’re FUCKED.” she says. “What that says to me is that…in America…we’re too attached to nice lies…that comfort us…to face harsh realities. And…this is just…the canary in the coal mine.”
“What do you think those delusions are?” says Lacey.
The woman walks to her boarding gate. Remember: It’s 2009.
“We have so much debt!!!” she says. “But there are other things. …Our borders are a mess. …Our…water systems are…aging. …Our roads are…aging. …And…racism is on the rise. …Russia…is…becoming more and more powerful. …And we’re ignoring it. …So is China. …All of Asia really. …And I feel like…America is…losing steam. You know? We’re…getting poorer.” she says. “In general. Everywhere.”
“You’re right!” says Jimmy Carter to her.
More as performed by Frank Sinatra plays.
“Jack is the faggot.” she says thoughtfully looking at the cover of David Pitts’s book. She smiles sadly, deep in thought.
“Why would he attach himself to Lem?” says Lacey.
“Because Lem is vulnerable. …And I bet he wanted to seem straight. So such a straight dude…as his ‘best friend’ looked better than Lem’s alternatives. Also…I think he…didn’t want honesty. With himself. …He didn’t want real intimacy!” she says.
“So he obsessively attached himself to a straight man?” says a reader through Lacey.
“Yeah! …My dad was straight and he reminds me of Lem. …I could see…a man of that generation…thinking they were gay and acting that way. When they weren’t. They weren’t backward. But…they were…” she says. “These were smart men! But…I would never assume Lem was gay. Because he looks straight. Not just in his manner. In his…body. You know? Jack looks…homosexual to me more than Lem. Actually Bobby did slightly too. …I wouldn’t even be surprised if their dad was bisexual too.” she says.
“All closeted?” says Jimmy Carter.
Phantom Thread II by Jonny Greenwood plays.
“Well…lying. …Lying to themselves. Lying to their wives. Lying to…each other.” she says. “Why don’t gay men investigate this more?”
Jimmy Carter cries. Because if there’s an Illuminati they’re dumber than rocks in reaction to Lacey. And…he’s incredibly embarrassed to been a part of the problem at all.
“I felt the same way.” says Doris Day.
“Why do you all fall for it!?” asks this real woman…50 years from now.
The song plays.
Michael Rockefeller smiles. “I WARNED YOU.” he says, simply.
The song restarts.
“What are we falling for!?” says Jimmy Carter.
She smiles. Looks sad. Stares out a window watching planes in 2009. Watching people. In 2009.
“Did you know Putin battled rats? As a child!?” she says.
“Yeah.” says Jimmy Carter.
“Why aren’t you more impressed by that!?” she says.
He thinks.
2:28
“That’s REALLY impressive.” she says. “When did Barack Obama battle rats!?”
“He battled racism!” says Jimmy Carter.
“That’s not like rats. That’s…societal and systemic. Different thing.” she says.
“I don’t get it. …What’s the difference!?” says Jimmy Carter.
“A lot of block people…who will never be US President…have had it worse than him. …And he rose above that. And it’s impressive. But…battling rats!? AS A CHILD!?” she says. “That’s a rare leader. That’s…A MAN.”
The song plays.
“That kind of crushing poverty is real for black Americans. Or has been. Due to racism. But…Barack Obama never experienced that. …When was the last time a U.S. President understood reality that well?” she says.
Jimmy Carter thinks. “I did.” he says forlornly.
“I know!” she says, sadly with a smile.
The song changes.
The Man I Love by Billie Holiday plays.
“Lacey…really is Tom’s daughter?” says Jimmy Carter, shaking in fear.
“Yes.” says God.
Jimmy Carter laughs. “We are…in so much trouble!”
The song ends.
He looks overwhelmed. Closes his eyes. “WOW!” he says to Jesus.
“Are you okay?” asks Anderson Cooper.
Jimmy Carter regards him with shock. “My gosh! …We’re FOOLS, Anderson. FOOLS. …I’ll be okay. It’s just a shock.”
“You can’t die!” says Anderson Cooper. “You’re already dead.”
Jimmy Carter nods in tears.
“So…Ronald Reagan sort of understood. But…I worry Roosevelt was our last real US President who understood poverty. With any insight.” says the woman in the airport.
Michael Moore smiles. Laughs. “Dammit! She’s trying.” he says about Lacey. “Why do we assume he’s with Jack!? Or gay?”
“It’s easy.” says a ghost.
“It’s a shortcut.” says a dead Millennial.
“But why don’t we see how weird it is!?” he says.
“SOME OF US DO!!” yells a dead Princeton grad who made a careful comment on a 2018 Princeton University article.
“So…the Churchills in America know. You know he wasn’t necessarily gay. At all. …Including Anderson Cooper. …But out of instinct you keep quiet. …To try to use it. To protect yourselves. From us. …Why!??” says Michael Moore.
“That’s a brilliant question!” says Lacey.
“Because you’re gullible.” says a dead Princeton grad. “You’re weak! …And it scares us. …We see rough waters ahead.”
Sandalwood II by Jonny Greenwood plays.
“We’re watching.” says another dead Princeton grad. “Look…if Lacey had married him…despite his mannerisms…we’d have never assumed he was gay. EVER. …She said as much and it’s true. …That’s a big hint.”
“She’s that…difficult to stay married to.” says Michael Moore.
“She’s Tom’s daughter. And…that’s saying a lot. …He was actually a fairly loving man. …And his children…would never have tolerated a bad marriage. …He didn’t! …And…they might cheat. In a bad situation. …He did! …But they’d never…stay.” says a dead Princeton grad.
“Not stay in some…way…that…dishonored themselves.” further explains another dead Princeton grad.
The living Illuminati hesitates as per usual.
“So! …If she’d married Lem…people would have intuitively known he wasn’t gay. …As in…he’s definitely not GAY. …NO WAY!” says a dead Princeton grad.
“Maybe bisexual or pansexual. Maybe. But…NOT gay. NO WAY!” says a dead New Yorker, listening.
A woman who appears on The View nods. “Yeah! I hear you.” she says.
“She’s just…not like that.” says another dead New Yorker.
The woman on The View laughs. Nods.
“Unless she was…in a coma…she’d never tolerate it. It’s in her blood.” says another dead New Yorker.
“So…Lem…is obviously not…a slouch. Even dead!” she says.
“He was straight. …Believe it or not. …Straight. …A lot of gay men don’t have a clue! …They’re- Excuse me I’m dead from old age and I’m not politically correct –loose. …I dunno. …I think…they assume polyamory covers it? I dunno. …But it doesn’t. And…that’s male privilege for you! They’re…MORONS. …They’re DUMB! …But…they lie about it. A lot of men do! It’s somewhat self-protective. …But gay men do it more than any one realizes. Because they’re an all male club! …There’s no woman there, in a sense, to tell them otherwise! …They can develop bad confirmation bias. BAD. …Because…they can’t handle the truth. It makes them mortal! And vulnerable.” he says.
“What’s the truth?” says Alan Greenspan.
“Men need fellowship. They need friends. …And they need family. And they need COMMITMENT. …Just as much, if not more so, as women. …Just as much!” he says.
Solomon by Hans Zimmer plays.
“Gay men…aren’t…immune…to human life. Finding other men attractive…doesn’t make you heartless. …And if it does…there’s obviously something wrong with it.” says the dead New Yorker.
“Luigi went on his attack…partially because he can’t easily make love. …But nobody is saying that.” says a dead Italian. “This was…his way…of…doing something…with his LIFE.”
Casi weeps. If there’s reincarnation. She weeps at this moment. In the future. In some sense of nationalism.
And if there’s reincarnation Luigi joins her in the future. In crying. Over a fallen world…from the perspective of an Italian.
“I made a mess!!” she says. “But I CARED!” she yells, regardless. “I CARED!!”
The song plays.
“When I killed myself…that was…a dark moment in US History. …I know that sounds arrogant or…insane. To say that. …But if there’s an Illuminati…and my family owns oil…of epic proportions…and they’ve attacked us…when I died…it was a watershed moment.
I fought bravely. My grandfather fought bravely. …We were…essential. I did important work. …So did my grandfather in Germany. Just as important as JFK. If not more so. And I fought too! …We didn’t rest on our laurels. Or back down. As men. As Americans.
…I was intelligent. Reasonably good-looking. Well-off. Decent. A Christian! …I loved my country. I loved my family! …For me to give up…ON EVERYTHING…and DECIDE TO DIE…that’s a DARK THING. That’s an EVIL thing. That’s BAD. …If I can’t find a way…to survive…in my own head…after risking my life for the US…our country is doomed. Only God can save it.” says Matthew Nesheim.
Fly Me To The Moon as performed by Frank Sinatra plays.
Lem sits…like Luigi…unable to make love to a woman easily. On a sofa. In Manhattan. In 1958. Jack has left with Jackie. They’re off making love. He can hear her moaning.
I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire as performed by The Ink Spots plays.
Lem…feels repulsed by his life. Tries to let himself cry. But…he can’t.
He starts off with duck lips. Pouting. Legs crossed. Prissy. Mad. Sad. Very gay.
But no tears come.
0:40
He opens his eyes. Let’s his body relax. His shoulders flex back. His head falls slightly back and to the right. His arms fall to the sides. Legs separate. He exhales in despair. Looks slightly overweight and…big…and despondent. Closes his eyes.
2:19
And that’s when the tears come. As a straight man.
He looks sad…pointing at something unseen. Cries. And then stops.
This may have actually happened.
How did Lem do it? How did he manage to endure living such a miserable, sexless life?
He sinks down into the sofa. Alone. Sighs. Smiles. Blows air out of his lips. Bobs his head to the music playing. Smiles. Laughs about some unknown thing. Opens his eyes. Gets up…after watching Lee walk around in front of him now.
“I’m going home!” says Lem to Lee.
She smiles and nods.
“Tell the Kennedys I’ll see them next weekend in Cape Cod.” says Lem.
Lee silently nods. Looks slightly sad.
He quietly stands for a second and then walks toward the front door. Leaves. Goes to catch a cab. Catches one. Leans and looks out the window.
Gets out, pays. Goes upstairs. Alone. Turns on on his lights. Alone.
The song ends.
He smiles. In resignation. Turns on his television. Ours his dirty feet up on a table. Smokes.
Gets out a Playboy. Thinks about the women on the pages. Tells himself that that’s all he’s allowed to partake in…as a decrepit gay man. …Thinks of Jackie and her sadness. Reasons that…he can’t escape Jack. Literally. And should try to be loyal anyway. …But that he refuses to hurt some woman the same way Jack does. So…he enjoys the magazine. Feels guilty…because they’re…better looking than Jackie. And…sometimes he reasons…he’s smarter and better bred than Jack who has to make love to such a flat chested, thin hipped woman. With large feet. And large hands. Like Jackie. …But he imagines a woman who’s…essentially Lacey…and enjoys himself. Alone. In his apartment in New York City.
Then it’s late. …But unlike Lacey…he feels confident…that she exists. Not on Earth. But…in his spirit. Somehow. He feels no sense of impending doom as she’s felt her whole life. No. Instead he feels…incredibly safe. She’s so…real…it doesn’t even register to him…that he’s not physically with her. That she’s just some ideal he’s imagined from pictures in a magazine. …Because he’s a man. And…as such…he can…make things happen. Pursue. Conquer. Maintain. …She’s not real…but she’s…there somehow. Somehow. And he feels it in his spirit.
So…he goes to sleep. Alone. Far more deeply lonely than his conscious mind can fathom. Because he’s a man. And up until the day he dies…he can impregnate someone. Women don’t have that privilege. But…maybe men feel less aware too. Less fear. A sense of optimism. But also…grand delusions. About TIME.
Time Is On My Side by The Rolling Stones plays.
He feels mild sadness. Stares up at the ceiling in the dark. Tells himself that there’s nothing he can do. He’s gay, right? Tries to fall asleep. Prays. Determines to sleep. Is drunk enough for it to work.
The song ends.
He’s asleep.
That’s how he did it. Denial. Denial. Food. Alcohol. Luxury living. His imagination. …Until Jack died. Then reality hit. Why? …Because…Jack made everyone act happy. Around him. He made you act happy. …And…in the process he sucked the life out of you. …Lowering your defenses. Disabling you, in a sense. …But…when you woke up…it hit you like a ton of bricks. And you realized…you had NOTHING.
Later.
Videotape by Radiohead plays.
Lem meets with Jackie at a New York City restaurant in 1965. In the evening. In July. Late, to stay cool.
Warm lights. Posh attire. Suits. Dresses. Small quarters. Noise. People.
Lem is early. He sits looking masculine and grim. Dour. Staring. Smoking. Waiting. At a center table. Wearing a gray fitted suit.
He looks…attached…to Hell. Not as a permanent resident…but a friendly visitor. A long-time visitor. Tired.
He sees Jackie approaching. Beautiful. Slim. Smoky. He purses his lips together…opens his eyes wide. Flutters his eyes. Makes a prissy grin. Claps his hands together dramatically but not too loud.
“DARLING!” he says, effeminately.
She forces a condescending, beholden smile as she pulls out her own chair and sits down. Elegant. Studied. But natural.
“LEM!” she says, grabbing his hand in high-pitched, effeminate manner.
And he slightly drops his gay facade. Just ever so slightly. Tired, caught off-guard. But she barely notices or thinks it’s meaningless.
He smiles. Almost looking like he’s attracted to her. And would like to think of it as a date. But…he’s not able to fall in love with her. And he knows that. And…she’s rejected him anyway. …But really…now that she’s single…he knows he could push her…but he just doesn’t want to.
He leaves her. Feels like killing himself afterwards. Because she’s a she. And…she’s not his wife. Nor ever will be. Nor ever was. And she’s just another harsh reminder that…there’s nothing. He has NOTHING.
The song ends.
Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana plays as Jackie grieves Jack. His death prompting her to face the hollow shell he left behind. …She writes it off a grieving.
“I can’t believe he died!” she murmurs to a historian. Pitiful. In tears. Face torn up with tears. Mascara stains. Wrinkles. Cigarette in between her fingers. Sitting in a rocking chair…curled-up. Hair looking dirty and fried. Teased. Misshapen.
“YES! Of course!” says the bespectacled intellectual. Dressed in a navy blue suit. Eyes wide and peering into her like an entitled leech.
Jackie is…struggling.
2:20
The music fades.
Get Into It by Doja Cat plays.
Jackie struts on sedatives wearing big dark sunglasses…a Hermes…and a silk scarf. Languid. Angry. But cool.
A man meets her. Handsome. She smiles. He makes her laugh. Open-mouthed. Later…they fuck. And…she…moves on.
Ten years later…she’s SO FUCKING…OVER…ALL OF THEM. OVER.
Over.
O…V…E…R.
“Jack?” says a journalist to Jackie who’s mind revolves around Ari. The journalist smiles…empathetically. …As if Jackie…is still in mourning.
She forces herself to feel her pain. Sipping on iced lemon water to get her head in the right place. To act.
She rocks herself a little. Getting into the right head space. Blinking.
The journalist assumes she’s…cool. Different. Not totally OVER him.
Freak by Doja Cat plays.
She smiles. Looks sad. Glasses still on. Fades her stare into the distant horizon.
Opens her mouth to speak…
“I’m…strong.” says Jackie. “I’m a happy woman!”
“You remarried!?” says the journalist patronizingly.
“Yes!!” says Jackie.
The journalist blinks. Patronizingly. “Mrs…Onassis…you…still do see your family? In Cape Cod?”
“Yes!!” says Jackie patting their hand.
“I’m sure you…miss those days!” says the journalist. “But we can’t turn back time!”
“So true!” says Jackie. “Time marches on!”
4:18
“I’m so honored you chose to meet with me today.” says the journalist.
She smiles patronizingly herself now.
The song ends.
They chat.
Hours later. Over olives. Something balsamic. Berries for dessert. …Ari meets Jackie. Handsome. Dark. An enveloping man. He sits down and possesses her. And she relishes it. Smiling.
A flash of JFK…scrawny…pale…
Rules by Doja Cat plays.
Ari cheats too. But…he’s present.
“Why are you leaving this weekend!?” demands Jackie.
Ari…plays with an olive pit. Between his front teeth. Looks cold. “I’ll be back! Tuesday!” he says, indifferent. Suspicious. Brutal.
“I’ll miss you!” says Jackie.
He smiles. He’s going to visit Maria Callas. Because he refuses to completely give her up. And Jackie knows.
He’s silent. But he smiles.
“Ari! …I’ll miss you!” she says pleadingly.
He looks angry. Bitter. Almost violent. Fuming. Dark. And then he leaves.
In guilt…he leaves.
For months he’s faithful. Then he loses his faith. Wanders off. …But he doesn’t seem to be Jack.
Jackie wants to vomit thinking of Jack. Actually. VOMIT. …A dumbass closeted bisexual. A weak white cracker. A total loser. Drug addict. Abusive liar. A man who threw money at everything. Money that wasn’t his but his father’s. A dependent ninny. A LOSER. Yuck.
The song starts over. Louder.
And…no joke…she actually wanted to vomit…possibly literally…possibly non-fiction…thinking back on his scrawny ass. His ugly legs. Pencil body. Tiny dick. Lack of stamina or interest in sex with anyone beyond mild orgasms (mostly for him) and stupid theatrics. His…rotting drug addict…Addison Disease stench. …Coupled with an ASTONISHING…lack of self-awareness.
His mentally challenged (?) constant laughing or half laughing. …His spoiled dumbass-bliss and conniving self-effacing ‘wit.’ …VOMIT.
The song ends.
Jackie quickly represses her memory of Jack. Ari is in the room with her. She’s happy. Happier than she was with Jack. And…she prefers to be optimistic. Not overthink it. And we don’t know…how…over…Jack she actually became.
“This is fact! She’s hearing it. Through the Holy Spirit.” explains Jimmy Carter.
“I let my kids believe lies. …About a lot. To shelter them. …I never thought they’d need to know.” says Jackie herself.
“You let yourself believe lies!” says Jimmy Carter.
She thinks. “I did.”
“Yeah! YOU DID!” says Jimmy Carter.
Brahms “Hungarian Dance No. 11” plays.
Jackie thinks.
The song plays.
“You let them think you were…never…truly over him. That…you were always secretly Mrs. Kennedy. …And that was rubbish. …Why’d you do that!?” says Jimmy Carter.
The song plays.
“Because I liked the lie. …It made me feel…good.” says Jackie.
“I understand!” says Jimmy Carter.
“Well I don’t.” says Lacey. “GOOD!??”
“Yeah. …You have no instinct like that in your whole body. …But I felt…happy. …Thinking of him…as…a shining hero…lingering on a horizon. …A haunting light.” says Jackie.
Lacey laughs.
Jackie closes her eyes.
“But you were repulsed by him.” says Lacey.
“Yeah. …Well. …He was. Yes. …But you know. As women we’re taught to put our needs aside. Our impressions. And focus on the bigger picture. …Other people’s problems. Not our own. Be sacrificial. …And so I was.” says Jackie.
The song ends.
Move In Silence by Phantogram plays.
The song plays.
Jackie dances with Jack. In the White House. In 1961. She shakes. In tears as he is too high and drunk to care that she has her hand extended…in a group dance. He stumbles off. Leaving her alone. Embarrassed. Lem laughs. He stumbles off to a wall where he laughs flirtatiously at Lem like an annoying spoiled brat Valley Girl with a vile amount of conceit and an annoyingly dim mind. Palms of hands pawing at the wall. He giggles. Stupidly. Happy in his gross, ignorant spoiled brat, mid-20th Century, fallen world bliss.
0:59
Lem doesn’t notice or care…which only makes Jack want him. Jack laughs for Jackie. And she’s too hurt and disabled psychologically to move.
A Secret Service agent goes to him. “Mr. President!!?” they say with concern.
Lem sits down. Stupid with drink.
Jackie silently cries in agony. Beautifully clinging with her white gloved fingertips…to a mantle for strength. Shaking. Body contorted stiff. Evening gown looking silly. Embarrassing herself with her defeat. Feeling every damn inch of her misery.
1:30
1:55
And in 1973…sweaty…salty skin…Jackie…thinks of Ari. Feels the warmth. Of his love. Let’s an open flame warm her skin. Staring into his enveloping gaze.
What’s that?
The song plays.
The song ends.
Cruel World by Phantogram plays.
“I can’t stand it.” says Lacey. “I get it. But…it’s a lie. And…I can’t fathom how…you avoid the other side.”
“With your kids?” says Jackie.
“I’d never have let my kids believe Joe was anything but an ass. …But not just an ass. …Whoever he actually is.” says Lacey.
“You’re not this woman.” says Jackie. “In the song.”
A Beautiful Mine plays.
“No. True.” says Lacey.
“You’d have married Lem.” says Jackie. “And America…would be better off…for you being born. But…we’d have absolutely no romantic idea of Camelot.” She smiles. “That’s me. That’s my dream.”
“Your fiction.” says Lacey.
“Yes.” admits Jackie.
“I could never let people get false hope.” says Lacey. “I give them hope. But never something that…worthless.”
“Is it worthless?” says Jackie.
Lacey thinks. “I think…yes. I’m sorry. …Why do you like it?”
The song plays.
Suite For Jazz Orchestra plays.
“I feel…like…I gave people something pretty to think about.” says Jackie.
“That wasn’t real.” says Lacey.
She thinks.
0:48
“Rats are real. Death is real. …Astounding wealth is real. …Sacrifice is real. Happiness is possible…but…rare. Too rare. …We fight for it. …Lawns are real. Musty basements with too many baseball cards are real. …Washing dishes is real. …Dying parents is real. …Colds are real. …Great Britain…was real. And that’s where Camelot belongs. …America has no Camelot.
America has a very big…White House. That’s all. Just…a big house. And…after having to deal with Lem…and his STUPID quotation about his room in the White House…and his…heterosexuality…despite it all…and his hidden meanings…and the scary missing links…in the popular narrative…I’m not impressed anymore.
It’s just a silly…stupid…house.” says Lacey.
“I know.” says Jackie.
“Why Camelot?” says Lacey.
The Most Beautiful Boy by The Irrepressibles plays.
“It was popular at that time.” she says. “To be honest…that’s most of it.”
“Jackie…why was it popular?” says Lacey.
“Because it was…Anglophilia.” says Jackie.
“Why ENGLAND?” says Lacey.
“Nostalgia.” says Jackie.
“Nostalgia. WHY!?” says Lacey.
2:00
Jackie weeps.
“We were already doomed.” says Lacey. “Weren’t we?”
The song ends.
Lacey laughs at all gay men who challenge her intelligence and value and honor in gross vanity.
“Let’s wipe your ass.” says Lacey. “YOU LOSERS!”
The song restarts.
“Let’s think.
Whatever happened between Jack and Lem. I’d there was anything sexual or romantic about it at all…and it’s basically impossible nothing happened. We both know that. Jack referenced gay sex far too often. And they did pose together and travel alone together and share a bed and room. …You’re not dumb enough to lie about that. Thank GOD.
So you’re still following? Right!? DUMBASSES?” says Lacey.
One of them cries. A few nod. They’re all quiet.
“Yeah. Go fuck yourselves. You’re vastly more backwards than me! GET A CLUE!” says Lacey. “You think being a cock sucker makes you sophisticated? It doesn’t.”
The song restarts.
Barbara’s mom laughs.
“What!? They’re OBNOXIOUS!” says Lacey.
They think.
“Yeah. I’m not homophobic. I’m…devastated…by your collective stupidity.” says Lacey.
“Are you really devastated?” says Barney Frank.
“YES!!! I feel betrayed!” says Lacey.
“You can’t!” he says.
“I DO!!!” she yells.
The song restarts,
“Lacey I already know where you’re going!” says a gay man in the Illuminati.
“WHERE!?” says Lacey.
“You know we’re slow.” one says.
“You don’t believe me! Or him.” says Lacey. “I feel…panic.”
“I hear you.” says Jodie Sweeten.
“You keep thinking…homosexuality absolves Jack of what!? Lem’s human needs!?!” says Lacey.
“Why not polyamory?” says Barney Frank.
Lacey rolls her eyes. “Because Lem just isn’t polyamorous. …And even polyamorous people have a need for fidelity, trust and intimacy. …Being polygamous doesn’t make you emotionless.”
“Actually…she’s right.” says a polyamorous man in the Illuminati.
“See!!! There’s NO EXPLANATION!!” says Lacey.
“Stop being so smug!” warns Michael Rockefeller. “She’s not your inferior. That’s an illusion.”
“Dammit. …She probably is just explaining reality. And…channeling him.” says a reader.
“There’s no way out.” says Zelda.
Putin sighs. He knew it.
“You’re all just rats to him. His final challenge.” says a Russian woman.
Arrival of the Birds by The Cinematic Orchestra plays.
“There’s no way out.” says Zelda.
1:00 the music gets louder.
“There’s no way out.” says Zelda.
1:50
“No way.” says Zelda.
“But he looks GAY!!” says Barney Frank, aghast.
The song ends.
“Those are his manners!” says Putin.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” says Barney Frank, crying.
Putin sits on the steps of his estate. In the cold. To think.
He scoffs. A dignified scoff.
“He was GAY!” says Barney Frank, in hidden desperation.
“No. He wasn’t.” says Brazil. “It’s very likely impossible, actually.”
“No!!!” yells Bobby. “STOP IT!!”
“Stop what!?” asks the CIA.
“YOU LIARS!!!” he yells, snot dripping from his nose. “HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME! …He was in love with JACK!”
A European gay psychologist laughs, unable to stop himself.
“It’s not hyperbole! …I’m being serious. You believed the myth! …Nothing ever really happened at all between you two. We know that! You’ve admitted it. It was just an act! …And you fell for it! …Bobby…you have no real evidence! …It’s a MYTH!” says the leadership of Brazil.
“But I knew him!!!” wails Bobby.
“Facts are facts. And yet you can’t be wrong? Huh?” says Brazil.
“Oh my GOD! Being gay means you’re NEVER WRONG!” says a liberal woman rolling her eyes. “I HATE the rainbow in New York. They’re ANNOYING.”
“Hey…why do gay men assume she’s homophobic!?” asks a woman, laughing at them.
They go quiet. “That feels…sad.”
“Because they have no other option. To not feel stupid.” says Great Britain.
“You fell for it too!” says Barney Frank to Lacey.
“Because you insisted it was true!” says Lacey. “And actually I never entirely fell for it.”
“No!!! HE WAS GAY!!” yells Joe II, in a surprisingly whiny voice. It’s embarrassing. But as a liberal he’s exempt.
“You did doubt us.” says Barney Frank. “Lacey! We’re used to being made fun of.”
“So am I. It’s nonsense!” says Lacey.
“She’s right.” says Rupert Brooke.
“Are you sensitive about it though?” says Barney Frank.
“Yes and no!” says Lacey. “It’s really just nonsense.”
“Yes! …But people are rejecting you.” says Barney Frank.
“Their loss.” says Lacey.
“Yes! But…it’s sad!” says Barney Frank.
Lacey thinks. “Is it? I get bored and tired of most of those people. They’re demanding.”
He smiles. “Yes! But that’s fitting in!”
“Why do we have to fit in?” says Lacey,
“Because! It’s fun, sometimes.” says Barney Frank.
“I’m doubtful. …Do tell!” says Lacey.
He looks sad. Thoughtful. Sighs. “You seem Jewish. Somehow. …But…whatever. I know your family claims to just be German. And maybe you are.
…Lacey come on! It’s fun.” he says.
“You know…I have no idea what you mean, possibly.” says Lacey.
He thinks. “People include you. Invite you places!”
“To exhausting parties? Where you have to pretend to have nothing to say.” says Lacey.
“SHIT!! …There’s no way he could have been that happy. …After last year’s election I can’t keep patronizing Bobby.” says Barney Frank.
“You’re not patronizing us!” says Cheryl, crying.
“No!!! HE WAS AND IS!” yells Hungary. “GROW-UP!”
“So…there’s no benefit to being…socially…popular.” says Barney Frank to Lacey.
“Not now. …Not when everything is so messy.” says Lacey. “Maybe 150 years ago…in the right place…I might have cared. Around the right people. But…not now. Not while gay culture celebrates a phony bullshit relationship.” says Lacey.
“I have to tell you…I do find the photos of Rip humorous.“ says Barney Frank.
Lacey chuckles softly. Smiles. “Yes!” She eats. “That’s so obviously not him!”
“Why do we think she’s homophobic!?!?” says a reader. “I think she’s really just theologically cautious. And loving. And that’s ALL.”
“That’s true!” says Lacey.
“I’m actually kind of embarrassed.” says the reader.
“YOU SHOULD BE!” says Lacey.
He winces.
Lacey sighs.
“You guys are…obtuse. I’m sorry.” says a reader to the gay community.
“Yeah. It’s trans now who take the brunt.” says a person who identifies as a trans woman.
“I love gay men…but…you guys are living about forty years ago. And it’s…extremely unhelpful.” says a woman.
“You’re not the constant victims of society anymore. My god! Get over yourselves!” says yet another woman.
“SHIT!” says Alanis Morissette.
“I think you want Lacey to be homophobic. But she’s not.
…What if…you all really did fall for a completely fabricated love story?” says Jimmy Carter to the living gay community about Jack and Lem.
An interior designer who’s gay and in the Illuminati laughs. “I think we’re homophobic.”
“Yeah!” says Jimmy Carter.
“Straight men…can secretly enjoy gay things. It’s normal. But they rarely get to indulge. Out of fear. My guess…is that Lem…liked decorating. Not like Lacey. But more than most people. …He was choosy about sports. …He had asthma and bad eyesight. …And…he was unusually sensitive. And artistic. None of which automatically makes you gay. …But he rowed. Went into business. And…was messy. …So…I guess the stereotypes mean something. But…they’re not…just simple math.” says a gay man in the Illuminati who does interior design.
“Do we all seem like Jack to you?” asks Barney Frank of Lacey.
She exhales sharply. “You do now.” she says.
He nods.
“We don’t know Mrs. Rockefeller.” says Barney Frank.
“I hate it. …As much as that would be an honor. …I hate to even think of it. I don’t like hurting Lem.” says Lacey.
Later.
“Yeah. Okay. There’s no way out.” says another gay man. “She’s right! He’s WAY too genuinely happy at the wedding. …Tsar Putin…did you study his facial expression? In a like…expert way?”
Putin nods and smiles. “It’s science!”
“What’s the likelihood he wasn’t genuinely happy?” asks the gay man, cringing.
“You’d feel sorry for us…but we’ve alienated you.” says another gay man to Lacey.
“Yes. We have.” says Anderson Cooper. “I haven’t. But I’m not a jerk.”
“We hope.” says the previous gay man.
“There’s a 20% chance it’s not real happiness, we’ll say. …And…it’s…basically impossible he could feel that sort of happiness at Jack’s wedding if he was ever remotely involved with Jack. Or possibly even attracted to men at all. …Probably more the latter.” says Tsar Putin.
“CRUD!!” says a conservative reader.
“And…within that 20%…there’s no way for Lem to exist. …Without an injury like the one in The Sun Also Rises.” says Putin. “No! I’m serious! She’s right! It sounds like I’m…being nice to her. But no. It’s…near impossible. …He had no such ailment. That’s…extremely unlikely!”
“20% is unlikely.” says Barney Frank.
“Yes! But I know it’s impossible.” says Putin.
“Why don’t we know that!??” says a gay man.
“Because that’s not what popular culture told us! That’s not what…the Kennedys let us believe.” says Barney Frank.
“Is there really any way…he was gay? At all!?” says a living gay man.
“No. To be honest. It’s impossible. …I’m not doing it. I’m tried. And old. And sick of a lot of bullshit myself!” says Barney.
“Why does this scare you all so damn much!?” says a ghost hunter to the Illuminati.
“Because she’s sleeping with real ghosts. Number one! …And…it’s just…really freaking creepy.” says a rap star.
“Didn’t Bobby Brown talk about it?” says Whitney.
“Yes!! …But…you read stuff like that and disregard it?” says Matt Lauer.
“You all have seances! And talk to demons! …WHY would you be scared of ghosts!??” she says.
“Yeah. Okay. …It’s stupid.” says Barney Frank.
“It is!! It really is! Be afraid of God. Not…evil.” says Michael Jackson. “Or us.”
“Why is this us!?” says a gay man.
Barney Frank laughs. “We’re…lacking a sense of humor about ourselves.”
“Do we really impersonate Lem that much?” he says.
“YES! Often! It’s in our subconscious.” says Barney.
“Ewww.” says a gay man.
“Yeah!!” says Barney.
“What if even gay men are dense? Like men?” says a gay man.
Barney Frank nods.
“We don’t…know that about ourselves.” says the previous gay man.
“No!! Because we’re stereotyped as being so emotional. And sensitive. Like women.” says Barney Frank. “But…we’re really just men.”
“Men aren’t stupid!” says Lem.
“Yeah…okay!” says Barney Frank. “We aren’t. But…we miss a lot.”
“We’re not necessarily supposed to.” says Lem.
“Oh come on! Women are smarter in that way.” says Barney.
“Kinda.” says Lem.
“Things aren’t going well.” says Jimmy Carter. “And she’s right. …There’s no way for her to…allow it. It’s…basically impossible. She has to speak up. As brave as it is. We’ve left her no choice. Should we exist.”
“She’s naturally better looking than most of you? Isn’t she?” says a reader.
“She is.” says the CIA.
“So…that’s why you’re so slow.” he says. “Make sense?”
“I’m bored.” says Lacey.
Later the next morning:
“There’s NO WAY…I could have been happy at Jack’s wedding. And there’s NO WAY…I’d still be with him regardless.
And you know what’s sad…the gay community has totally misunderstood me… I never clarified what I meant by my comments on my life. Did I? …Did my tone indicate I meant to affirm homosexuality? Or not?
…
Do you know?
…Because I actually wasn’t affirming Being homosexual. …See…I was straight. But I thought I was gay. Up until my last year or so of life. …So…depending on when I said that…it’s possible I actually was suggesting that even ‘the best friend anyone could ever ask for’ was still not as good as getting married. …The opposite of what you’ve assumed.
Regardless that statement is extremely opaque. …It’s actually quite difficult to understand me. And that’s my fault.
You have to not just try to interpret my…poor words. You have to try to look objectively at my actions. …There’s no way…I could ever have been that happy at Jack’s wedding. …It’s impossible. You’ve really missed the mark on that one. …Because it’s too…feminine. …History has been dominated by men. …And the sort of analysis that women do traditionally like reading people’s facial expressions…is virtually nonexistent. …The CIA does it. Psychologists do it. But…I think…history has avoided such analysis…almost entirely…because it’s actually quite feminine. Women do that kind of thinking everyday, or did. Maybe still do. Reading people. Intensely.
But…it really is impossible. I had to have been straight. As gay as I acted. And…really…there’s no way I’d still be with JFK. It’s truly psychologically impossible. …I mean he would have obliterated any bond we had. And I could have been in denial about it…but I died. And…death actually does alter your perspective. Okay? …So does time. …You see more. …And I’ve been a ghost this whole time. Remember? …I’m a ghost.
I was disparaging homosexuality. It was supposed to be subliminal maybe? A sort of reverse psychology? …I placed marriage and settling down…and living somewhere…at the end. …I worked in advertising! Remember? …I went to Harvard Business School. …I was trying to sell you on my perspective. Because I felt…trying to indulge in homosexuality was…dangerous. …I didn’t want to tell people what to do. I understood! Right? But…it was 1981…and I was raised by Republicans. …And I wasn’t that rebellious. …I pulled pranks. I had opinions. …But I wasn’t a really rebellious kid. More…whimsical maybe than rebellious. A dreamer? …Anyway…I actually was trying to make people doubt the validity of gay marriage. …And it’s been misunderstood. …I hated Jack at that time. I felt he’d ruined my life. But I was careful about that. Because I didn’t feel safe. …But see…I was straight. So…I didn’t know what it’s like to be gay. And that’s probably the biggest reason people have misunderstood me.
Thing is…why celebrate my awful life? …How in HELL do you imagine I’m still in love with him? …I never actually was. Really!! …But…how do you think I could be!? …And see that’s what drives Lacey up the wall. It makes no sense! …And while she’s been targeted and harassed her entire life by naysayers who LOVE to try to find nonexistent flaws or mist she’s she’s made or has…you’ve…swallowed SHIT for JFK. Eaten shit. …And she has no patience for it! …I don’t either.
So…HOW?! How do you imagine I’d possibly still give a flying fuck about him at all!? If I exist. …And…I do…she’s genuinely hearing from me right now…but…regardless…how could I have been happy? …Like actually happy? …Almost ever? …I tolerated him not because I was a brainless idiot…but because I was straight. But…please explain!” says Lem.
“Because you felt exceptions should be made for important men!” says Louis Bayard.
“Well! What a bunch of pseudo intellectual bullshit. …Ha! …Good for you!? Are you credentialed? I bet you are! Certified smart person! Wow! …Umm…that’s a concept. …So that means I would have had that worldview. But…that’s not…going to work. Okay? So…even Christians mourn. Fervent Christians! …When someone dies. Because our brains can’t get rid of sadness using worldviews. Okay? So…there’s no way…my worldview…would have soothed me…while he was fucking 50 other people…every six months to a year. Literally. …Or 20 every year. He was…an addict. …Like Bobby. …And Mary Richardson killed herself! …Why IN HELL…would I have been able to avoid my massive amount of suffering…by just telling myself that Jack was special?” says Lem. “That’s LUDICROUS!”
“Because you worked out an agreement???” says another gay man.
“What sort of agreement? That he was allowed to emotionally destroy me? And I was cool with it? That’s impossible. Pain is pain.” says Lem.
“Yeah. It’s possible!!!” sincerely says a dumbass.
“ I just have to say as an actor who’s fairly well knowing she’s right there is no excuse for this David, Pazzaluna, yard pretty much anybody who’s ever researched him or said anything about him and thought that the whole thing made sense it’s embarrassing until actually because it actually doesn’t. Lacey is very jaded, and was actually thinking of going into politics because her view of everything is actually extremely streetsmart and if she wanted to she could’ve done extremely well I I actually think speaking from someone who’s been in Hollywood that she’s probably not exaggerating at all when she says that she didn’t want to end up in the casting couch, or either on the casting couch in politics OK there are some women who probably fight that, but frankly are more masculine or are lesbians, and have somehow managed to be counterculture enough that they’ve avoided it at least enough to to live with the situation being as feminine as she is by nature, even if she’s an intellectual, I can see why she was scared, especially working somewhat within conservative circles I think she thought what am I even doing you know is that I am going to be in this dangerous city where people get mugged because they do where people end up dead because they do I mean she is a Chandra Levy was at her name is Sandra that I mean Lacey knew about that like that was a intelligent you know well bred young woman, who just disappeared probably doing work that Lacey might’ve done and no one ever figured it out. She’s not stupid so I think what she thought is that she couldn’t do anything and that I’m I’m sorry I’m just gonna be honest I don’t blame her. There are some people who do there women who have, but I would I wonder though, if there’s something that they’re doing that protects them frankly, they’re probably either mean girls or they weren’t quite as they weren’t like Lacey they were probably women who were a frankly less upsetting to the status quo. If there is no illuminati, I can tell you that she’s actually pretty wild person and away Cesar things that people don’t want to hear it’s too upsetting. It’s too complicated, but this is reality him so maybe maybe it’s not so be masculine and feminine versus feminine there could be other things that are involved too but at the end of the day it’s misogyny of some sort in my opinion that’s up at work and and and what kept her from going into politics, but but no, there were women who probably were less upsetting than her less upsetting because they were mean girls, or there was just something about them that was more conducive towards being in politics in a way that was safe for them. Lacey is very curvy and then she’s like I said she’s kind of wild and I think, to be honest that is actually different. That’s not something we’re supposed to say right now because it’s taboo, but I know of a particularly curvy woman who is feminine and walks. You know it’s a little bit of wiggle, kind of like Marilyn Monroe, which Lacey does lately who is also kind of challenging to deal with people would say because she’s so sweet and intelligent but then she’s also not. She’s not a trade wife she’s kind of challenging somebody like that is not again she’s right not going to fit in in politics yes, where does she go? liberals don’t want her she’s too feminine frankly that is real. I’m sorry it could be changing, but when she was young, no there weren’t a lot of young women who were extremely five minutes, working in the democratic party that were there might’ve been some but now that was not the norm. There were plenty of those women in conservative circles and in politics but then often times those young women came from law, families, or they had sort of an aesthetic, where it was sort of almost subservient very acquiescing in a way that’s not Lacey and yeah that’s just not who she is. She doesn’t go along with thinks in that way, so no, there was no there was no comfortable safe place for her in politics, and it irritates me that people at Messiah College, who are advising her never fucking wrote realize that sometimes I think those people were too full of themselves and self-centered to realize what a fucked up life they were leading her into and away or they just didn’t give a shit or they thought it was all you know her responsibility and, if there’s no illuminati, I would love to say fuck you to a lot of those people because if someone had just let her major in art, I know she brought that up with her advisor or let her focus on Hollyn for five fucking seconds of their time every day or every two days or something I think people treat her like shit I think it’s creepy as hell and I think people were nice to her, but they also resented her for some reason and I I think that there’s a lot of arrogance out there today. People thought she was probably being treated nicely because she’s so pretty so they went out of their way to be assholes to her because their mind they thought they were compensating for something some people probably thought she was smart or that she was nice and so people were nice to her and then they thought they should be assholes. For that reason I I think a lot of people have very convoluted ideas about life very conspiratorial and they think that good looking nice people just get everything they want and that’s not true.
I think a lot of people want to think that there’s some sort of hope in life I’m not a Christian but I can see why Christians think it’s absolute bullshit and it is I am a spiritual person I am yeah you can’t really assume that your good looks or money are going to save you from pain in life And no big illuminati being in Hollywood. I can guarantee you that there’s nothing those things don’t matter but they’re not this you know winning golden ticket that a lot of dumbasses think.
So I would just like to say that I’m mad I actually played will on will and grace I’m not actor. Yes there’s illuminati. Yeah I’m kind of a big deal there. If there is an illuminati yeah that’s who she’s channeling right now that actor I’m not actor I played a game out on television and a rather historic role, I cannot imagine my character being in a in a happy relationship with JFK. *He laughs with Lacey* you know I’m not. I’m not trying. I’m not trying to say that we did an amazing feat in my television show that I was a part of but I I don’t think I’m that I don’t think my character is that insane I don’t think my character is that far-fetched to be honest, there is a tendency in the homosexual community to be a little freer sexually then in the homosexual community it’s always been that way. But I don’t know where people who have studied this man are coming from. I’m sorry it’s not popular to say that because then it seems like I’m a conservative or some thing. I don’t know it’s absolute bullshit it’s just common sense I don’t understand how his character makes. Sense.
From my intellectual perspective, I’m a pretty intelligent person I might even be open sexual or I’ve had to try to understand homosexuality to play that role I don’t think lamb, Leslie Bayard, or David, pets or read much anybody in popular culture has imagined him can exist. I don’t think love as we’ve imagined him Ken can actually exist. There is no Lem Billings, as we imagined him. because it is really painfully obvious that you made some stupid assumption that I gay men would just magically tolerate his partner sleeping with women often or having these girlfriends that are serious, who is making love with her and marrying one of them they would just not phase him at all all those years? Or what you think that they had this impossibly open relationship with Jack could just sleep with whoever he wanted whenever he wanted with. Absolutely no commitment or fidelity at all. How does that work? Just absolutely no fidelity no commitment you can’t trust jack to ever be intimate with you and just with you in anyway because being an open polyamorous relationship doesn’t mean that you’re just sleeping with anybody want Whenever you want and if it does, I’m not sure how that couple ever develops any sort of intimacy in that way because someone could you guys try to explain that to me if you have absolutely no idea what that person is doing at any given time, and you can’t tell me that Jacquees told him everyone that he was with or what they experienced or how he felt about those people that’s actually almost physically impossible Because people don’t have perfect memories people don’t think to say everything, so there was a huge portion of Jack’s life that line would’ve never even knowing anything about almost daily or weekly so there is all all of these experiences that Jack was having every month every week every day, the lab had no control over that he had no say over that he had no understanding of That’s reality. There’s no agreement that could allow for someone to just be totally completely on committed, and then have the intimacy between them. I actually think it’s impossible for him to have been happy other wedding as well whether he was polyamorous or anything, and I don’t think it’s possible. I’ve analyzed it as an actor as an intellectual I don’t think it’s possible either and we’re right so you can stop attacking her because she’s a woman and you think she’s stupid because she’s a woman!
I know Bobby Kennedy attacks women he’s a rapist. He’s a serial slandering asshole who uses his family name to try to seem like a hot shot. I can’t stand that man! He’s ruined Cheryl‘s life. She was an idiot to marry him a total vain narcissistic twat, but I like her and I’m sorry that’s harsh, but she married a dumb ass and if I’m being perfectly honest with you in this context, I think she might deserve to hear that that was an incredibly vain idiomatic thing to do to yourself And I I hope that she can forgive her self. I hope that she can find somebody to be happy, but she did it to herself she chose to marry that was her adult choice!
No, I’m not going to hear Carol and whimpering. Like we deserve she deserves some sort of infinite amount of empathy from every fucking person alive.
Do you know people people suck Kennedy cock constantly in the illuminati the Democratic Party is bunch of cucks when it comes to that family!
But here’s the thing those are just objective observations for a very angry liberal, who feels better about the last 10 years politically, and to be very introspective a times if I do say so. I I just I would love to hear though how the gay community imagines I think clubs right how do you imagine that he he was ever happy? He always seems happy, right he was seems happy with Jack. I mean he stays in his life he doesn’t leave. They keep hanging out lame presumably, dated other people, but it doesn’t seem like he ever was in a serious relationship with someone that sort of trumped anything that happened with Jack And yet he doesn’t equitation say he may have been the reason I never got married so we have to assume I think we have to assume based on what he said that there was a certain importance to JFK because he says literally he may have been the reason I never got married , so he’s at least you can think that he somehow sort calculating this in his head even if he’s not outright saying, he’s the reason I never got married. So he stayed in this relationship of some sort with JFK all those years. Well Jack was in numerous serious relationships with countless women potentially and we know about about Inge we know about Jackie we suspect Grace Kelly we suspect Marilyn Monroe there was a Judith Exner. There was a lot of women who he was in relationships with. I mean England him from what we know over in a fairly intense relationship And that woman was pretty sexual experience. I don’t think she probably would have just been you know kissing him and watching movies with him beat it mean that’s bullshit he slept with women he was fucking women a lot of women he was the serial philanderer. This is JFK were talking about OK try to keep things fucking straighten your head head. So we know the JFK was an asshole. He was a narcissistic jackass! He didn’t give a shit about hurting people. There’s a lot of historical evidence to suggest he was a total fucking piece of shit!
How the hell do you guys imagine that he was ever happy with him but why was he staying all those years? Why was he so involved with him? It is really mysterious and weird! I think it’s sad that we’ve attached so much to that. I think it’s very very sad because I think it says that we’re not as sophisticated as we pretend to be Anne at work I would say coming from a very dark place, historically where we aren’t as astute as hot as heterosexuals About historical people. As astute.
So Napoleon and Josephine probably had some great relationship people have focused on that, but I think there’s always been a little bit of reticence simply because of their position in society, and I don’t know seven shoot of sense that heterosexuals have that if something looks shiny and golden doesn’t mean that it’s gold right it’s mean that it’s real there could be something a little off about it But I think heterosexuals have that experience analyzing historical characters. They know that about themselves that you can’t just assume you really cannot just assume you have to look at people and even if it seems like they were really in love and they’re really interesting don’t assume you can’t assume you cannot assume because that’s just not safe when you’re analyzing, romantic relationships of historical people you can’t assume! It never turns out well I mean, we assumed about Diana and Charles, and then that blew up in her face. I think people have assumed bad things about Elizabeth and Philip, and and then when she died when he died, it was the opposite was all the sudden they were so in love, and that had this great marriage, and it was baffling to some people and other people it was Not maybe as much, but that that is par for the course and I think heterosexuals know that that you you never assume when it comes to a sexual, romantic relationship of a historical person you never assume you never assume!
So that’s my suspicion is that we’re new to this and we don’t really realize that that you can’t just read the Noah diary and then hear a couple of interviews. You can’t really you can’t even research someone for 20 years and without being in the relationship itself and that’s the thing with Lacey that I don’t think you guys respect her father really is Tom Max regardless And he really was an old Hollywood character in a way he was a bootlegger. He was wealthy. He owns a fairly important nightclub and other night clothes. He probably on a speakeasy or two and that’s her dad. The Kennedys have never officially been recognized as bootleggers by historians, but people obviously suspect it, I mean with their ties to Chicago and Al Capone and her fathers ties to L Kapone. I would not in the ties to Hollywood. I would not be remotely surprised if they crossed paths in US either her father and Joe Junior, or Joe Senior rather I would be almost shocks, if they never met.
OK if there’s no illuminati we do you talk to the dad or something like that him and I know from being in Hollywood people know each other they meet at parties where they used to meet at parties they meet and I think it’s extremely unlikely that that that doesn’t matter in the situation She told us way back in 2016 that she thought she had possibly been in contact with Joe juniors ghost since she was a teenager. She told us that we back in 2016. But a lot of people have been narcissistic about this entire shit show I’m going to college and I think they can’t handle that about her because they have someone in their heads up their interacting with you doesn’t exist because a lot of you really have never talked with her in person at any great length you don’t know her! And I think if you did you care less and more at the same time, I think she has been, and still is exceptionally beautiful and I don’t think people in her presence physically have probably ever felt that she was a particularly hostile or antagonistic person and may be critical and judgmental but I don’t think people have ever thought. She was this cantankerous bitch that a lot of you seem to wanna think she is. And I think that’s funny. I don’t know who your channeling it could be a Celia Punzel. It could be a lot of people but it’s not Lacey and Alys not completely clear actually be JFK but I don’t think it’s just Lacey and I think it’s scary to me as an intellectual, in the illuminati to see how backward and stupid a lot of you have I have been and still possibly even are our! Her father was a historical figure who interacted with JFK Senior. She told us that she’s been interacting with Joe juniors ghost. Potentially, she didn’t know, but she suspected it was him since she was a teenager and seemingly he had some sort of affection and attraction to her that it was like he was sort of giving her the impression of and sort of asking her to sort of. I don’t know think well of him I don’t know what he had in mind I don’t know what he thought he was doing, but I think he thought that somehow he is sort of found up a special friend and subway for the future when she died , he knew about them. I think he thought that lamb had fucked up too much and that he had a really sweet check to look into so to speak yeah because it’s like well lame her twin flame is with my brother. He totally screwed everything up and I know that and I actually love Jack but I’m not always a fan of him and I have empathy for Lacey and she finds me attractive and it’s very possible that they might have not had she been born to Tom earlier had she been his daughter I know the 1920s I actually think it’s possible the Joe was thinking that it was thinking no this woman could’ve met me we could’ve been a date or something so he just got really attached to her and attached to the idea that somehow he was going to be significant to her in someway, either in life or death or both I think he sincerely thought that somethings serious was happening in someway between the two of them Maybe even thought she could’ve been his left feelings but that somehow it would’ve been less dysfunctional. I don’t know what he was thinking but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was thinking she could be his lead Billings and that’s not a small thing and I don’t think you people have been mature enough intellectually, or his people to handle that reality.
I think you’re intimidated by that I think you’re scared by that I think it frightens you. I think it throws you and instead of being adults about it you turn into fucking idiot children from hell I’ll say you’re not thinking clearly I’m talking to intellectuals pseudo, intellectuals and MSNBC at the New York Times. I’m talking to a lot of people who think they’re super sophisticated Really aren’t who really are idiots because it was so obvious almost 10 years ago. It was obvious that this was a woman who we needed to be careful with not you know I’m not asking for special treatment for I’m asking for you guys to have been a little more circumspect in dealing with her.
I mean, I wouldn’t assume anything I would just think that’s weird that’s weird right because even if she’s just someone who could’ve been his mistress or if some ghost has a crush on her why are we pooh-poohing that like it’s stupid it’s not stupid. We’re in illuminati we’re dealing with crystals and we do know we’re being possessed by demons and we’re doing séances. I mean you guys grow up right I mean come on it’s scary I don’t. Lacey feels the same way it’s like snap out of it like what the hell is wrong with you people Know I sound like a really good person right now she’s a good person and she’s channeling me and I’m letting I’m letting myself be that right now in this conversation because that is part of who I am and I actually am being serious I don’t understand it I don’t understand how you guys have been so fucking slow this whole time!
Oh, so they were involved and I don’t know we don’t. We still don’t really know what that was because we’ve not thought to even look into it. I think Lacey has some idea but we’ve totally taken up her time and her family obviously comes first and I’m sure she’s processing 1 million other things. I don’t think we’ve analyzed what was even happening between those two in any real depth and I think it’s actually quite fascinating but something was happening between her and Joe And then we stumbled upon that something was happening between her and F Scott Fitzgerald and that wasn’t really out there either she lived in St Paul. She is sort of his type so she is she’s F Scott Fitzgerald‘s type. I don’t understand why you think that all of that is just stupid stupid crazy nonsense just because she narcissistically offends you you throw that out do you have any idea I’m talking to Chris Hayes and a lot of other people. Do you have any idea how dumb And backward and just I’m sorry It’s I can’t even articulate it well it’s so upsetting to me. Do you not get it? You’re a hick you’re a boob you’re you’re you’re a redneck fucking idiot to assume that just because she pisses you off that she is lying when she says that she’s interacted with a ghost of F Scott Fitzgerald hello I don’t want to hear what you thought the ghosts are you fucking kidding me I’m talking to you telepathically are you fucking kidding me You’re seriously going to be inculcated into an illuminati where we’re dealing with the dead and supernatural stuff all the fucking time and then you really believe some billionaire idiots who is an atheist who doesn’t even take himself seriously over common sense? I know Bill Gates is wondered sometimes if there’s an afterlife but that’s because he’s Bill Gates and he’s a genius and I think he’s trying to figure out what the Hells going on but you can’t take him as like your guide to existence intellectually you have to think for yourself and your a lot of people who believe in an afterlife it’s historical that’s not insignificant! Yes, Bill Gates is impressive. I’ve met him myself at illuminati meetings. He’s a very intelligent charming person but he’s not intellectually. Perfect you can’t just talk to these people and because they’re billionaires they no everything! I mean, how gullible are you people you have to think for yourself!
I mean how it really doesn’t make sense to me as an intellectual I’m not stupid I’m not Bill Gates but I’m not idiot. How do you explain the supernatural outside of there being a supernatural I mean it becomes gross to question it to an absurd degree. And I’m saying that is an intellectual you can do it philosophically you can do it as an intellectual but then you have to have that reserve you have to have that objectivity and you guys don’t have it. You get very emotionally attached to thinking that there’s no God and there’s no afterlife it becomes an emotional thing for you in a way that is not intellectual, and is actually very backward And pseudo-intellectual and anti-intellectual. Sometimes I think some of you are just sadistic manipulative narcissist, who enjoy torturing people who are suffering by telling them that there’s no hope and there’s no afterlife I think people who are really cruel, have actually attach themselves to atheism just as much as fundamentalism because they enjoy hurting people with science. And I am not dumb enough to fall for it and neither is Lacey.
So can you back to the original topic so to speak and I trust this will be edited because my words are probably slightly altered for someone else’s approval and it’ll be interesting to see what the phone heard so to speak. How do gay men imagine that a normal, loving functional human which is what Lamb was you can tell that from reading his writing from looking at his face, I’m just watching him you can tell that he’s probably a pretty normal person or you could’ve been usually intelligent or quirky, but I think he was probably pretty functional How do you imagine he possibly even possibly was in any sort of consensual happy relationship with Jack, who offered him absolutely no commitment no open communication because I don’t think Jack ever came out to anybody even laugh I mean, even if he did he was extremely closeted so I mean he was at least closeted right at me or give me a can you say the jack was closeted? Can we can at least suspect that he was closeted mean when did he ever come out so even if he was out with his friends Publicly he was not that’s fact do you have to ask yourself how was he actually OK with that or you can say all people were closeted back then gays dealt with it you don’t even if we did it was still painful. It was still painful him so he was in a closeted relationship with a man who is probably narcissistic, definitely did not offer him any sort of fidelity, who is in serious Relationships I could’ve easily been primary relationships with numerous people, so was Linn primary was he tertiary? Was he secondary? What the hell was he and I feel like it fluctuates and it goes from some thing primary when they were and you know at Choate something what secondary and then it’s tertiary and even when they were a child and they were roommates, I have to wonder What that even looks like OK because even if you’re polyamorous that sort of degree of lack of commitment and emotional bullshit where it’s like you’re a primary but you’re not and then you’re kind of a secondary but you’re not and you’ve got this intense commitment, but then you don’t that’s not sustainable there are plenty of people who have very screwed up relationships but those are screwed up relationships. That’s not normal you know you’re not in and it’s like with physical health you’re not supposed to be scratching your face off to find imaginary bugs on your skin you know I mean it’s like what the fuck like why did we write a book about a relationship that’s so fucking shitty? He’s not he never offered him any commitment. He was never open possibly at all and I was being generous and say he was open with his friends. I suspect JFK was never open with anybody. If you’re to take the oral history of what we’ve heard people say that they said to lamb and the lamb said to them seriously but now I’m waiting for someone to try to screw with that information and they’re not going to get away with it it sounds like Jack was never open so lone was in this very one-sided noncommittal, non-monogamous possibly polyamorous but still totally screwed up relationship and then at a Jack’s wedding. He’s happy when him and Jackie didn’t get along that well they got along but I don’t think they were on the best terms. She called them and nobody and I don’t think that was a loving commentary on him. I think she genuinely didn’t like him, and was suspicious of him and I actually think there is some photographic evidence to suggest that he did possibly find her someone attractive, and I’m an actor saying that there are, there are some micro gestures, where it does seem like he found her somewhat attractive but I don’t think he was really into her but regardless that’s not gay it’s not I am sorry if you’re a tiny bit bisexual in my book you’re bisexual you could say you’re mostly gay but that you’re slightly bisexual but I think people are weird about that even now, and I don’t like that I find that by a phobic and upsetting because it’s just not accurate. And speaking of someone who is slightly bisexual myself but mostly gay. I would rather just be open about that and be like no I prefer men are there could be a reception, but I prefer men, because then my Partner knows what I like and who they’re dealing with that’s how you develop intimacy you have to be honest with people. So I I don’t understand I don’t I just I don’t understand how you guys have imagined that he was happy because what the hell was was Jack offering him I know there’s there’s something there where it’s like no it’s not possible that he could’ve been happy at that wedding I really don’t think that’s possible. There’s something to crushing about the nature of that wedding it’s scale. it’s size the tension that Jack would’ve been giving Jackie how happy Jackie was how beautiful she looked that day. I don’t think that it’s possible that Jack that that lamb would’ve been as happy as he was Without there being something bizarre going on. No at and really she’s over it simple and illuminati so she’s a moron for thinking. No she’s not a boring. I think you guys are narcissistic and you’ve never realized how dumb it was to just totally look over this white wash this and miss this part of the story. Your narcissistically accusing her of what you are you guys been morons about Land O Lakes and it’s embarrassing that she’s planning something so obvious out to you. And then your freezer astounded by the fact that it’s not even her it’s actually his ghost telling you through her but it makes no sense that it is his ghosts. This was not her idea he’s real and he brought this up and I nobody thinks he talks to lame. He thinks he probably talks to Mary and has sex with her. I doubt that I doubt that he’s talking to all these dead people as much as he thinks he is Because I don’t think he’s as careful as a lot of which is ours as Lacey is a lot of people I think he hears things and if the entity says I am this person refuse and wants to think the entity is that person he just assumes that for sure they are. He is not a safe person, and that way you can’t trust his Evidence is a times his theories are spot on, but he’s not of a person who’s safe to just trust blindly with his theories or his evidence or who he says he’s talk to you can never assume that he really knows what he’s talking about because he makes stuff up to himself and other people both!
But the thing is, I don’t think it makes sense to think that he would’ve been that happy I I just I can’t articulate it right now but at that wedding with her maybe with some people he could’ve been that happy. I sent some sadness on him that day, but it actually is that particular, there are different kinds of sadness is this sort of sadness that he has seems more like the sort of sadness that you’d have at a high school reunion or maybe at a funeral for someone who is a distant relative he seems introspective, but I don’t see the agony and pain in his eyes that should be there and no she’s right if you can’t hide that I’ve seen actors trying to hide that using drugs And alcohol I’ve seen people try to hide that sort of pain from their eyes and it’s almost impossible. It really is it’s basically impossible. You can hide it to some degree from your micro gestures, but even a persons facial muscles usually give it away or something about your posture, even if it’s just every few minutes, it’s you can’t you really cannot hide it to someone like me and seemingly like Lacey and possibly people who have been abused even would notice they’re supposedly so you know hyper aware of everything so I think to someone like that they’re gonna they’re gonna notice they’re going to see it and I am one of those people and no it’s just it’s not there. I’ve looked at several those pictures. Yeah I have if there’s ilumiNATTI, I actually looked online and looked at the pictures and studied them because I was just curious and I’m sorry, but I don’t see it either. It’s not there. The sadness is not in his eyes. It’s not in his facial muscles. It’s not in his posture, I don’t see it. It’s not there and I’m a pretty pretty good actor. I don’t see it it’s not there. He’s not sad in the right way. I was gonna say he’s not sad at all. I think he was slightly sad. Yeah I’m trying to be extremely accurate for you. I think he was straight slightly sad but I don’t see the sadness that should be there. I don’t see the sadness that should be there.
I don’t see the sadness that should be there if he was bisexual if he was gay if he was pansexual if he was asexual even possibly there should be some sort of sadness in him. If there was something going on between those two, which there was, I mean, Jack obviously hints at it there’s tons of historical evidence to suggest it it’s not just a theory that’s something that pisses me off and pisses off Lacey to they obviously were some thing was happening, it may not have been consensual. It may not be the normal, but something sexual of some nature was happening. That’s almost historical facts. I am so sick of people saying oh they were just friends not they were not just friends and I’m sick of people saying oh Jack was straight now. He sure as fuck wasn’t know jack sure, as fuck was not a heterosexual he might’ve wanted to write down a fire as one, but like I said, earlier he wasn’t one maybe he would like to think of himself is 95% straight then he’s not really straight because from my perspective, it’s not if I was dating a man who is 95% gay I would wanna know about that 5% if I was a woman dating him I’d wanna know about that 5% the 5% still matters Archaic way of looking at it I’m not gonna keep tolerating that bullshit. That is the kind of bullshit that gives people in trouble and part of the reason people hate trans people because they’re tolerating it from people who like oh I have three girlfriends in college and yeah it was normal and consensual but I’m straight. Oh no Jennifer it wasn’t you’re not straight straight! You might be mostly straight you might be bi Street leaning, but you’re not actually straight. No, that’s not true you can’t identify as something without actually being that thing! So no I’m sorry Jack was not straight. He was bisexual. End of story he may have been no actually no he was. He was bisexual. He made and pansexual. He may been pansexual it’s possible he was pansexual, but I have a feeling he was bisexual, but he might’ve been pansexual. I wouldn’t rule that out to be honest with you. I’m sorry if this is harsh, but Jackie really did have a somewhat androgynous body and her style at times was rather androgynous. I do wonder if he was pansexual slightly, but anyway , I actually think she was a woman but the fact that she delved so much into androgyny makes me wonder if he actually liked that you know it’s like she was a woman but she kind of dabbled in it the style at least and I wonder if he and I think her frame with someone androgynous to, but I wonder if he’s secretly likes that night and that is not a man that’s androgyny that’s more of a non-binary person and I wonder even if she was a woman if she somehow fascinated him and that way. So no I’m sorry Jack was not straight. He may been pansexual. He may have been bisexual but he was definitely not a heterosexual. Not really I’m sorry he might want to identify is that because it was more socially acceptable. Obviously he wanted to think of him as a of himself in that way or he did. I don’t know if he would anymore now almost think he would probably go more towards being open about it and try to make it seem cool but at the time I think he couldn’t do that and so he would’ve wholeheartedly said he was straight. Where is now I think he would try to use it potentially to his political advantage, but that’s the thing he was not heterosexual regardless and I would think that would be obvious but apparently with some people it’s not and that’s sad but that’s reality so let’s start there. No Jack was not straight. I’m sorry and then something was happening between those two almost definitely I would say definitely but semi black comfortable saying that side to almost definitely there was something sexual. I would say it’s impossible from my perspective but I’m not actually a historian so I won’t go that far but I would say it’s impossible that nothing was happening between those two have any sort of sexual nature but then when I do look at it, I might’ve what Lacey has shared with us from the other side, and from her own perspective to I really don’t think lamb was gay. I don’t think he was gay at all. I think he was probably straight I think that’s how he tolerated the enormous amount of ambiguity and Jack’s sort of violence towards him sleeping with so many people, so recklessly and carelessly being in so many committed relationships, but then expecting them to be committed in a totally lopsided way I think that’s how them tolerated it I am I don’t think there’s any other explanation because even dependent people would get hurt occasionally to, and they might hide it, but they would get hurt and again you can’t hide that kind of stuff from your facial expression completely even if you’re dependent it’s still registers it’s still there and um, I think when you’re yeah you’re still register somehow even if you’re dependent there’s really no psychological way for Lem’s to be human which he was. Oh that’s almost historical fact as well and be as happy as he was at Jack’s wedding and almost be anything other than straight I actually would say anything then straight I don’t think it’s possible I’ll go that far. I don’t think he was anything but straight and I think it is funny because it’s sort of almost like a liberal conspiracy theory. Will call it a progressive conspiracy theory I’m gonna call I’m gonna call this I mean she’s talking to the dead and she’s a woman she’s kind of a renegade and it’s a human rights issue. I’m gonna call this a progressive conspiracy theory but I don’t think it’s a conspiracy theory. I think it actually is fact I really do. I think this is actual fact I don’t think it’s just a theory, but but know this is this is not this is not crazy and it’s actually very sound intellect intellectually but it has sort of a ring of conspiracy theory because conspiracy theories Ather best challenge accepted norms that should not be excepted and yeah I think it’s sad. I think it’s very sad and I eat it really with this is getting around to and I just wanna finish I guess with us, but it actually is really fascinating to me too. How did we get this so wrong?
Because it really is obvious, Jack was a serial philanderer. We almost guarantee that it least one occasion, Jackie thought about killing herself. A lot of people think Marilyn Monroe did kill her self. There are other people who suspect that a woman, at least some woman in Jack’s past did commit suicide and yes, I’d like to point out that Louis Behar‘s writing is fiction. He made that up. He may not have been talking to any actual dead person when he did it. Those are not love‘s actual words I wouldn’t be surprised if it sounds nothing like Lyme, other than in some ways that is socially acceptable to pop-culture that may not actually be authentic and it is it is not lame he’s not channeling live in that book Lacey is actually channeling them Louis the yard was not channeling love I don’t think he claims to have channeled them and if he does, I think that’s absurd because I don’t know how he would’ve done that he’s not a psychic Anymore, even if he did, he could still be wrong. There’s only one line Billings and I don’t think that there’s proof that he actually talk to him. I mean he could claim that he had a relationship with him too, and wrote the story from that perspective and that would be bullshit and I have a feeling there’s someway to prove it but no he was not writing lambs word so there’s probably someway to prove that too, so let’s keep that in mind that is labeled as fiction with no caveats and a, Lacey is not labeling. This portion of her writing is fiction because it’s not even if I don’t exist or exist in the future and there is no illuminati she does claim to speak to ghosts that’s not fiction. He claims what he’s writing as fiction in it is so you can’t take his writing is historical evidence I don’t think Lem’s had the worldview that Louis assumed that he did. I don’t think that he thought the things that we would assume that he did I think those are assumptions, and Louis was an arrogant intellectual, who thought he knew more than he did.
I think David Pitts got attached to the idea that they had some sort of relationship and didn’t question it nearly enough and it’s all over his writing. We can assume we can assume no we can’t assume davit and even if we can assume should we you know if there’s something scientifically off about it saying we can assume we can Actually we can’t but but I’m trying to humor him slightly. OK so do you think we can based on your research that isn’t without a shred of doubt though is it saying we can assume he’s not saying this is what happened. I’m saying oh a friend from the 70s claimed that line was gay that actually isn’t evidence either people can say that they knew you they can stay that they can guarantee something and they can’t all that we have to work with is what what actually happened to peoples actual words in context of sort of the meta-meta-context of their life These are hermeneutical questions and it is startling how hermeneutical off Linn Billings is Wikipedia pages because I know you can’t assume someone’s orientation based on some thing that someone said about them who does even want to be identified with that Garverdale was at J if it was at Bobby Kennedy was at JFK’s nephew who said that honestly those are not safe people those are not like solid, safe people to take evidence from. And even if we did, those people would never be able to definitively say that that was his orientation. He acted gay, but he never really came out of the closet, and to be perfectly honest with you if his ghost came back and said I was straight who is to say that that isn’t possible we could say it’s extremely unlikely, but you can you you have to be careful with these questions and you guys have been egregiously irresponsible.
The truth is it I think, looking at the picture of the of his life you have to actually assume that he was straight and then he was acting gay that somehow he got confused it sounds fantastical, but it’s not. I actually think Anne Heche was a little screwed up in that way too. I think it could actually happen. I think it’s unusual, but I think it’s possible and I think if you look at the trajectory of his life, he had an incredible amount of trauma and he claims he was Molested, and then he fell into some sort of them because they fall in love. He fell in the sun, sort of relationship was with Jack that was toxic. Regardless of what you think about anything it was obviously toxic.
So you know I’m gonna leave it at that and I’m gonna ask the question now to how the hell does David pets and leave the yard and whoever be listening right now oh where what it what what what we’re doing or not how the fuck do you people think that he had any sort of actual authentic relationship with Jack? And how the hell have we just looked the other way this whole time it’s sick it’s really sick and I actually think that this blog sort of calls into question any relationship, Jack had with pretty much anybody other than maybe Inga they never got married she married somebody else I was almost Grace Kelly to because I wonder if those women were frankly more sexual experience than Jackie, and we’re confident in themselves, and if they had some sort of relationship with him, but then realize that it was never gonna work And actually, I wonder if Grace at least broke up with him? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ingo broke up with him either. And I think that’s where we have to stop patronizing I think we have to be honest. We are humor in the Kennedys because we feel sorry for them but it’s weird that Jack and maybe we’re humoring ourselves to some degree. It’s weird that JFK never has a normal relationship with anybody. I mean he requires a bazaar amount from all of his friends. He was a drug addicts. He was very probably a narcissist. I don’t understand why we have thought all these yours, that he was this Waba bowl, loving man, who was capable of a great relationship with somebody we just need to figure out who it was. I think we’re in narcissistic relationship with Jack some weird para, social narcissistic relationships where we’re trying to get his approval by finding just the right person and then thinking oh this is this is who we should be like because this person doesn’t get hurt they don’t get cheated on by the attractive billionaire playboy on the yacht and actually Jack really wasn’t that good looking, but people have thought that he was because of creative photography and make up, but I think people think oh Jack is so attractive because he was photographed so well and then it’s like how do I get the hot guy on the yacht to like me? How do I get this you know attractive, billionaire, playboy with this charming amazing confidence to follow up with me and be faithful to me and not you know throw me off a cliff emotionally. How do I get this guys approval or how do I become like him because he’s so he’s so attractive he’s so charming he’s so dashing and brave because that’s just it is political spin but we bought it hook line and singer since day one with that family for the most part not everybody, but for the most middle-class people in America have and a lot of those people are upper middle-class nowadays so a lot of people and powerful positions have this sort of stupid idea of him and so it’s like oh how do I get Jack’s approval? How do I become like Jack and it’s dumb because if you actually do look at his body no he doesn’t have a good body whether you’re gay or straight his body is actually not attractive and that’s why Lacey is so helpful to us because as Tom’s daughter, I truly believe she was in some sort of sort of sexual relationship with Joe, his older brother, who was attractive, but was also a Kennedy and was not faithful to her and I think they had. I think Joe and Lacey actually had an agreement but then when Pat died it ended just a thing and that’s part of the reason I know this is real because I don’t think I don’t think that makes any sense I mean she didn’t notice the wedding thing and the wedding thing being how happy One was but lame as an entity, who is not in her head, who is real, who is an actual ghost news that would mean something to her because she knows if that’s not possible with those men you could have an agreement with them and it’s like you know you can cheat on me, but then don’t throw it in my face and as long as it’s just sex so to speak and it’s not serious I don’t like it. I appreciate you less. I have less respect for you and I won’t tolerate it forever but you know I might work with you for a while or I might try to sort of live with the situation possibly with 1 foot out the door, but then the minute that the other shoe drops the minute that it goes to far it’s over and that was Pat Wilson, but I’d have to imagine Ingo would’ve been that I’d have to imagine Jackie would have been that because people can’t really divide their attention that way that’s not humanly possible even if you’re polyamorous, you can’t do that you can’t exclude people from your life and then have intimacy with them. At the same time we’re bond really that matters at all so I think that’s why Linn pointed out that wedding because it’s like Lacey you know this is bullshit. You know this is bullshit and that was his doing he’s a ghost.
So her perspective is helpful because she’s actually been in an actual. I mean I would say an actual sexual relationship with one of them that was over decades the start when she was a teenager presumably because he’s a ghost he became one himself or some thing and chose to try to live his life from the grave through her because he died so young but he died when he was 28 it it does make sense that he was trying to somehow maybe complete his life or or live through her I’m talking about Joe, so they had some sort of relationship from oh I think about is 14 or 15 until she was well probably about 30 so they had a bond for about 15 years that’s a while and that’s a long period of time over someone’s life to from being a teenager to a 30 year old And I would say that’s rather significant and it’s not imaginary I mean if you think of her as Tom’s daughter and she didn’t even realize that that’s who she was when this whole thing started, I mean she might’ve subconsciously, but she didn’t realize that that’s part of what was happening She thought well I am unusually pretty. I guess that could just be something about someone that could make the whole thing make sense which isn’t stupid either, but it actually really is a little more obvious than that because she is Tom’s daughter so I would say her perspective is extremely helpful. I think it’s like riding into a gold line for those of us who are able to handle it intellectually I mean she accidentally runs into illuminati turns out she’s been talking to ghosts that are real not in her imagination. In my opinion I’m New Age I don’t think there’s any way that that’s not real. There’s some people that you just get a check in your spirit as Christians would say Lacey is not one of them there’s a lot of evidence and in my gut I know that that was who she was talking to. She was talking to Joe’s actual ghost And I know from my experience spiritually that that that that it’s like you’re questioning me and my integrity in a sense that’s what I’m saying if you question what I’m saying right now that’s your choice. You can do that, but I would not recommend it so I know she was talking to his coast almost yeah and I know she was and for her to say and this is sad that we have to do you know say all this in there talking about his body yeah it’s sad but I guess we have to say it so, no she’s looked at pictures of him, and I think in combination with his inability to be faithful, and the fact that he seemingly had some closeted relationship with Pat I don’t think it’s likely that she’s making up her perspective that Jack was no prized pooch you know I think I might’ve had low self-esteem but again that doesn’t explain how he would have been miserable because he people have low self-esteem have normal human emotions Yeah you might tolerate abuse but it’s still affects you. You’re still sad.
So I think it’s likely I’m sorry that that he would’ve gotten over him. Lamb was better built people aren’t blind. You can’t tell me that there are no good looking man that he would’ve ever met anywhere he lived in New York City who would have tempted him I mean, seemingly he even had relationships with people, but you can’t tell me that that would’ve never happened that he would’ve never tried to be with somebody else And you can say oh maybe there was just some thing about Jack and his personality that he loved they were soulmates do you know that’s pretty that’s very pretty but it’s bullshit because what is a persons personality? It’s it’s who they are but it doesn’t compensate for that person being a narcissistic asshole, OK there’s nothing that can make up for that. There’s no personality there’s nobody there is no amount of money that can make up for someone being a total asswipe. That’s imaginary that’s absolute bullshit. There’s nothing that makes up for that people can be in relationships to get someone’s money. People can be with people for very convoluted reasons 60 be complicated but you can’t have somebody in a happy, long-term, giving relationship like lamb was in, according to you , when the person that they’re with is a total narcissistic dog um no, there’s no way to do it. There’s no way to do it there’s really no way to do it. Could you keep going back to somebody? Yeah you could you could tolerate that person, but you get hurt, and when you died There’s no way you’d be with that person I think that’s some thing we’ve misunderstood. There’s there are some bonds that are just broken and that aren’t fixable OK if you molest your children, you destroy the relationship forever I don’t think it’s ever repairable if you shoot somebody and hatred, that persons probably never gonna be your best friend most likely I mean in all of eternity it’s may be possible but it’s a stretch. OK there are some things that do destroy closeness but then that’s where we have to grow up we we jack and lamb do not seem like best friend material post, grave he’s right, the bond is too shattered. The relationship is too broken. There’s no returning from that because they be on good terms. Yes him, but would they still be together? I doubt it even has buddies. I highly doubt it because there’s probably mean come on no there’s there’s no way you know if he did that phlegm did that it would be toxic but there’s no way that someone would really be in any sort and I don’t think I would tolerate that. I don’t think that would make sense for an afterlife him can somebody be really dark and be like a dark spirit and do that to but I’m just gonna say it’s totally impossible, but they’re together totally impossible, and there is no amount of money. There’s no sex there’s nothing psychologically that could fix the situation at a really I don’t think that the bond could really make sense even if phlegm was toxic too. I don’t think it would make sense because then he’s toxic to you and it’s not real but I don’t. I don’t think that is what happened I don’t think so, I don’t think it’s possible there. Let’s just put it this way there could be people who are delusional, who are toxic who go back to relationship that doesn’t exist but then that’s insane and toxic. There are some things that don’t work there’s no more money there’s no sex there’s nothing psychological that could draw somebody back to him and really make it work. I’d really make it work. Um, it’s impossible, but could someone keep getting drawn back maybe but I do you know I don’t think they had that they didn’t have any sort of normalcy in their relationship with Jack would’ve apologize and said you know you mean the world to me or I’m sorry try to understand buddy I guess you could’ve said that but but I feel like I feel like there’s some thing still kind of lacking about that where it doesn’t. It doesn’t seem like something that a normal that is sort of adult whatever due to themselves most likely, I think it’s may be possible but I think it’s a huge stretch to think that someone would keep going back to somebody who’s in some totally esoteric crazy, making relationship their whole life I guess that’s possible but that seems like a pretty big stretch and then combine with the fact that he was never upset. It was never sad looking I don’t think it’s possible that he wasn’t straight I really don’t, I think even if somebody was in some weird relationship like that, you’d see some sort of sadness in their face. You would see it in their eyes especially at a really sad moments like when Jackie got married or other moments to like there’s a picture where they’re sitting together him Jackie, my lemon, Washington lamb does not look sad enough in that picture either, and if you look in those pictures, he looks very heterosexual to me. Maybe he was trying to hide it because it was DC but I also wonder if it was Jackie‘s presents I don’t know but but he definitely that there’s not. There’s no sadness there if someone was an abusive relationship, it would look like they were being abused at some points at some in some situation that was photographed you would see it in their eyes it’s never there, he’s never sad. He might’ve been slightly sad for some other reason but I don’t see sadness the way that it should be there if he was anything other than straight and yeah he does act gay, but he does seem bizarrely straight at times and yes red feet pointed that out and we’ve misunderstood that too. Very bizarre late if it’s even a misunderstanding, I don’t think that Lacey is imagining things because red fake white cooperates it and I can see it myself he does look straight he does act gay it’s hyper. It’s bizarre looking at times to me as an actual homosexual because homosexuals do have those mannerisms they do comb their hair. That way they do stand that way they have micro gestures like that, but it’s real, and so you don’t constantly have to be acting and when you’re not acting at times, you still look gay I don’t see any pictures of him like that where he’s relaxed and looking gay. Usually his homosexuality is in the way that he’s holding his legs or the way he’s holding his hands or the way he’s controlling his face or the way he styled his hair I don’t see it in his body or in his relaxed facial expressions. It is always an action and that’s not reality when you’re gay you’re just gay you’re not acting gay.
So no I’m sorry I’m putting my foot down today because it’s irritating to me. I am scared for the future of our country and I’m not an idiot and I’m not gonna just you know keep watching this happen. It’s just it’s too much to me if there’s a boy if this is real if there’s no Vanathi no I’m putting my foot down, I’m half of a lot of people who are saying who have conscience says who are pissed off and who actually don’t condone a lot of evil behavior. No not everyone is working in total in mindless cult like activity in Hollywood. There’s some people who actually do disagree with people so just in case, if you’re wondering, we’re not just mindless robots thank God and no I I’m sorry it doesn’t make sense and I’ve not been perfectly articulate, but no, it doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think he was anything other than straight. OK I look at that the way of what I’ve said I Was more accurate in my head and I’m saying it or she can’t completely hear me. It’s not possible to me. I’m sorry to say it’s not possible that he was anything other than heterosexual and when I read his quotation oh he’s like I have the best friend ever, which is obvious hyperbole even if you’re a fan of JFK 1981 there’s some hyperbole and that the best friend anyone could ever ask for I mean really That that that does that sounds hyper like hyperbole that sounds hyperbolic whether it’s 1981 and you’re a fan of JFK and no one knows any better or not that sounds very hyperbolic, so I’m gonna go with that being weird to begin with saying he was the best friend anyone could ever ask for OK lame him And it is weird how he’s like but what the hell people try to brush over that and you could read it where it sounds like he’s just sort of cavalier but you don’t even the cavalier tone sounds questionable to my 2004 year and when I say that I mean that we know better now those people were not always happy people, even if they pretended to be Actually if they ever were I think of Robert California the character on the office he might’ve said something like that but that character is messed up and that is sub text Julie part of that character. He’s in a bad marriage he isn’t really entirely in touch with reality in someways. Those people are fascinating but they’re not really normal healthy people you could take it. That way that lame is some sort of homosexual Robert California but then that person is suspicious. They’re a little suspicious I mean he was a drug addict that persons probably not and they’re in the best place and they are drug addicts. I would say all of the drugs themselves and it’s me yeah but you were using them for some reason you’re probably avoiding some pain or something That it’s basically impossible it it’s impossible that you could be a drug addict regardless how smart you are and not have something a little wrong with you so even if you’re just grieving there’s still something messed up about it so he was messed up in someway and no I mean even if he’s a gaydom, Robert, California the bond is broken there’s no way they’re together and I don’t think I don’t see that as a ringing endorsement for a sexuality I actually find it sad and depressing that we focused on them almost at all
So I’m sorry I am I am angry as a progressive as someone who cares I’m angry. I actually think what Lacey’s not been allowed to say is that she’s actually disturbed about what it says to gay men. It’s like go ahead and get in a bad relationship, if the man is good-looking, if he’s wealthy enough, bend over backwards for him, lose a lot of weight Stuff yourself into tight pants wear a Gucci belts, bleach your hair go tanning do you Pilates have a clean house be cute. Be happy all the fucking time and if he’s a billionaire, even if he hits you even if he cheats on you even if he never gives you recognition never gives you dignity keep smiling Because if he’s special enough, he deserves it you can take it you’re a man isn’t that what this song is the story says to gay men it’s like if you can take it if you’re like lamb and you’re well bread and you go to Choate and Princeton and Harvard and you have all the right clothes like Brooks Brothers from the 60s And you’re 6 foot four the strongest man on crew at Choate you put up with shit you bend over backwards you’re a spineless sucker who puts up with everything and that’s a good thing. Let’s celebrate that because Lem’s has so much love for Jack but he didn’t need any love in return mom doesn’t have to be two-sided love doesn’t have to be mutual you can be thrown under a bus treated like a piece of fucking shit and if you love that person enough and they really deserve it because in the social hierarchy of capitalism, they’re impressive, it’s good it’s something we celebrate. It’s something we should celebrate. It’s some thing we should honor and respect and fun over and fan club because that’s great. It’s great to suck your sacrifice yourself. They never given the love that you need die of a drug addiction in your 60s Not have your own life leave your family wondering if there’s something wrong with you that’s something to celebrate if the person that you’re with is as impressive as JFK that’s sick but that’s what we’re telling people today. That’s what we’re telling a young man and it’s totally impossible. Lame dealings in the gay community as we have conceived of him is Barbie he’s Barbie. He is impossible. He is physically impossible.
No it he couldn’t have been gay he could’ve been bisexual. He couldn’t of been pansexual. He was straight he looks straight. Oh, that’s the other thing he does look straight. We are lying about that red face that he never seemed outright gay and then we contorted that to mean that lamb was gay. No, that is not read Faye saying Lem’s was gay That’s what that’s red face saying he never seemed outright gay OK you could take from that that lame was gay somewhat or read thought he was is really what you should take from it but he’s also saying that he never seemed outright gay so then what does that mean that he seems somewhat bisexual, pansexual or straight or that he hit it really well oh yeah but that’s not quite what he saying. Do you know even if he is saying that that he hit it really well how do you hide that really well I don’t think that’s possible I think it’s a questionable thing we’re almost makes you wonder if he wasn’t I think that’s more what he’s actually saying, but then what does that mean that we should hide our sexuality that’s charming and you can say oh he was closeted yeah he was but then why aren’t we talking about that? Why are we talking about that? We don’t do that we post pictures of him we glorify this man who is never outright gay, what does that do to us are we supposed to be that way because that’s sick he was either hiding his homosexuality or he really isn’t homosexual and then what what does that mean that it’s better to be bisexual and gay cause you’re less gay that it’s better to be hiding it because if you hide it well enough you look it’s like white it’s like bleaching your face OK it’s sick
It’s so perverse it’s like oh no, no no don’t have your own needs Maria narcissist let them sleep around they can marry somebody else they can treat you like shit and if they’re JFK well I guess it’s OK. Don’t act too gay look good and I guess if you love them enough Then, when you die will celebrate you, there might not even be an after life but will celebrate you will think of you as a really special person. You’ll never enjoy your own life you’ll be miserable every day you’ll be an emotional anorexic cancer patient waiting to happen. You’ll probably develop some psychological problems some sort of intense, anxiety, air hunger Cancer a heart condition you’re killing yourself and you’re miserable in the process never really getting loved or enjoying your old life having any good sex most likely that’s really meaningful will be on some thing shallow. You’re never going to have a good birthday a good Christmas your kids will never be never be as loved as they would be a healthy father but no that’s great because if you’re fat if your kids, father is JFK and if you get cancer at 55 and die if you’re us in if you’re out, you know a size large and you look good in those jeans with the Gucci belts I’ll say That still good because you look so darn good and you smiled all the time, and sometimes I almost thought you were straight because you just held your face exactly right to hide your homosexuality but you were an amazing interior decorator and no one ever question whether or not you loved your husband you find all over him you put up with everything with a huge smile and then when you died everyone just knew that you killed yourself because you had no life of your own and you were so miserable without him that you just had to constantly be high And it wasn’t just temporary intense grief where you know you might’ve ended up dead it was that you never moved on some people I think maybe literally can’t handle moving on and so they kill themselves but there’s something genuinely dysfunctional very deeply dysfunctional about developing a drug addiction and throwing your life away because someone who your whole world revolves around dies that’s nothing to celebrate necessarily, so oh yeah, but that’s but that’s what we’re telling gay men to do that’s a role model you’re making him a role model you’re making him an honorable character and it’s sad and it’s deplorable
No and then calling him the sad is Kennedy widow actually that bothers me too because why why is being so devastated and never moving on a good thing I mean you want to like you want to be that sad you you wanna find a love like that but you also want some thing better than that Where you are you try to be happy you try to have joy because you can rest in the memory of the love that you shared with that person. Why did Sally Vidal smith? Why did we glorify lambs horrific life? There is something weird about that there’s somethings sick about that.
So, even if he wasn’t straight, it’s it’s just so perversely toxic to me that I can barely stand it and I don’t think Lacey knows what to do so she just gets angry but I am standing up right now on behalf of all gay men who have a conscience who have sanity, and who really see what she saying, and know that no love doesn’t have to be gay I don’t think he was at all I think he’s been very articulate. I’m also somewhat new age and I believe in the supernatural I’ve experienced it if there’s no illuminati I’m in it and I know that it’s real and him. I don’t think it’s likely that he was anything other than what he’s told us he was. I think he was probably straight. I’m just repeating myself him and I think that’s how we make sense of it because I don’t think that’s humanly possible for someone to be that happy all the time I don’t think that’s possible even if they’re an alcoholic drug addict says they’re still going to show at some point, and even if they’re smiling you’re going to see it in their eyes and I’m knowing guys like that I might’ve dated one or two and it’s just not possible those men exist but they have their signs and usually the kids know usually somebody knows a friends, their kids, another guy who’s interested in them? Who’s at the dinner party watching It’s real that stuff happens and I think we have to grow up as a society if we expect Russia to take us seriously if we expect China to take us seriously there are some things we can’t do and there are some things we need to grow one, and I think this is something that we have to grow with is this understanding of ourselves as people that and it’s I mean it’s very popular with Genzie. It’s very popular and I think it should stay that way. I don’t think that we can keep celebrating this bullshit.
So with you know as much respect as I can give no you’re full of shit it’s a David pets you’re full of shit sally, Fidel Smith, you’re full of shit Louis Bayard Lem’s, as you have conceived of him is impossible he was straight he was unusual people have said that about him who knew him that he was in on family complicated that is historical evidence I don’t know how David never caught that. I don’t know how Sally never caught that or Louis. Actually, I do know I know that it’s part of a political spin machine that celebrates the Kennedys That capitalizes on JFK’s heterosexual image it’s dangerous to think of Jack as a bisexual and lame as a confused messed up straight person acting gay, but that’s what he was and Jack was bisexual. It’s really very simple it’s not complicated him and I would like to apologize to the other side on behalf of anyone that has a conscience and knows what I’m talking about. I’m sorry to Jack because he hears us. I think he’s scared. I think he was in a very, very bad family, I don’t think he was ever loved properly in his own way, even though I think he was loved, but I don’t think he was ever excepted as a bisexual openly. At least I mean maybe he was somewhat, but I wouldn’t be surprised if even if Rose excepted it, even if Joe excepted it if it was seen as sort of subpar so it’s like OK. We love you anyway Jack but you’re not as good of a man is is Joe or your father so it’s like yeah you’re right you know we love you anyway but you know just so you know you’re not that good you know it’s like you’re sort of second rate, I just want to say I’m sorry to him because I wouldn’t be surprised if his sister exist or almost close to it he was a narcissist. He was a problematic person he did get shots for all we know it really was by our own country at the request of Fidel catch Castro that is possible, the Warren commission is not a scientific test. It’s a commission commissions could be pretty accurate or there could be a few flaws and I don’t know but I would be surprised especially if there’s an illuminati and I’m talking from it right now if there was some thing that was very carefully covered up and orchestrated so it even might look like it was just random, but it wasn’t And people pick up on stuff so I have to say I think he was problematic and I am sorry because we have not helped. He still gets approval from us for being something he’s not I don’t think it’s likely he was straight it’s possible I say with a? But I don’t think it’s likely, I mean he could’ve been molested himself and confused himself but I don’t think that’s likely it seems like he is a little too consensual and a little too invested, and I am astounded that no one has ever looked into his relationship with Brad Faye and I also think it’s it’s probably because of lab if they were to look into red face they’d have to realize that lame was bizarrely lacking in jealousy even for a polyamorous relationship there’s something weird about it And then you’d have to wonder do you know was Jack bisexual? Like I am suggesting he was right now I think he was I think he was bisexual and pansexual. I think Brad Falion and him had some sort of relationship. I don’t think it was committed I think Redd got married, because he knew Jack couldn’t be faithful and he he was never gonna let that happen himself But the season that’s where love seems weird again because why didn’t lime ever process that why was lime so I was theoretical about his own life it does suggest so what he’s told us is probably what happened although I love to hear more about what what that was for him, but it it does speak to there being something really disturbed about Lem’s psychology read face, seems to process very well that the Jackson capable of fidelity And so he marries seriously he gets into a relationship and takes it seriously and it seems like he just sort of cheats on his wife with Jack in this way, where it’s sort of like an ask where it’s kind of like read it doesn’t want to leave his wife Because he’s comfortable and he isn’t just gay and I think he might’ve really wanted to be with her but they had maybe problems in their marriage or you know whatever and so he cheats because Jack so seductive and I think that is intriguing but again, it says to me that Brad really thought it through and thought no I don’t I’m not you know, gonna Mary Jack like lamb But I’m not gonna just stop being his friend and we’ll see you know I I might just never be involved with him again but I’ll stay his friend just you know kind of keep them in the back burner to a lot of people are like that with her exes unfortunately but then that’s the thing with Latin it’s like why is he tolerating read Fais It’s you could say oh well the road fee was a tertiary or a secondary. You know that’s bullshit, because what is a secondary or tertiary that is someone who’s not is intimate with you who is not as committed who is not your primary person? I don’t think that it’s possible for him to be with read as intensely is it seems as though he was with that person being a secondary or tertiary, and then that’s were polyamory might just be bullshit but I don’t think even if you take it seriously that you can have that kind of intimacy of a primary with a secondary or tertiary it might be intimate, but I don’t think it’s quite as intense or his primary. So him and then what was Jackie Jackie was his primary or his secondary and you can and that’s the thing it’s like oh this is all worked out because Jackie is his his secondary and so was red face. Do you know you really think Jack Heather so ironed out with them it was with with our old does it mean the same thing? It doesn’t mean the same thing let you know what we have is more special that’s not what he was telling the public at his wedding at his wedding he was telling people that she was his primary that she was his primary that she was his only I mean that’s the 1950s that’s the wedding so he would’ve had to have this in a Normas amount of trust in Jack and his incredible intimacy to believe. 00 no Jack is Jack is going to have a honeymoon and he’s going to have a full-fledged wedding, tell everyone that this person is his primary essentially, and I throw in a monogamous committed relationship for ever but that’ll just be him telling everyone else that’s what he says to me in private or like other people in private is what really counts so what he says to Jackie and I in private or me and private is the truth but then what he says to everyone else in public or indicates to people doesn’t mean anything, and the fact that he didn’t tell Jackie and she got hurt by Lamb. That doesn’t matter so he was lined other people, but then he was honest with them, and I’ve never questions that and Jack was willing to hurt people for no reason because they were women and I have to think he occasionally hurt men to, I am pretty sure we have some recorded history of him hurting man at some point I think he hurt some man’s feelings but yet really I don’t think it’s possible to be that violent towards women even if you’re angry at your mother, I don’t think it’s possible to be that violent towards women and not have something wrong with you and I don’t think gay men handle that well. And people can believe and have faith in their partner, and think know I’m special, even though he’s getting married to somebody and he’s smiling and posing for pictures and kissing her and holding her hand and giving her company is complete attention you could think of that doesn’t mean anything, but that’s still gonna be painful a because it’s not you and be even if you’re OK with it um, there’s still something hurtful about it I can’t. I cannot articulate it right now, but whether he was a tertiary or a secondary or primary actually I don’t even think I was polyamorous. I don’t think that’s likely I don’t see him as being polyamorous, but even if he was I don’t think he could’ve not been hurt at that wedding and I just don’t think it’s psychologically possible matter fact I know it’s not possible I guess you could abuse women and not be hateful to men but I don’t think that someone in that state is likely to be 100% Loving to women or if they are, there’s just there’s something weird about that OK and I think there’s some real misogyny in the gay community and they’ve analyzed those and possibly some misogyny with some five minutes to like Sally Vidal Smith because no it’s not possible Lem’s could not have been that happy at Jack’s wedding. If he was a tertiary primary and secondary cause that’s not the wedding that they had. That wasn’t the time that wasn’t normal That wasn’t possible I think even nowadays in an openly polyamorous marriage it could be painful given the way, Jack acted. I think it might not even be possible today and open a polyamorous relationship for it for them not to be hurt as of a character so to speak but especially in the 1950s no because it creates a hostile. It creates a very hostile hateful environment for him and I don’t think he could be that happy. I also don’t think he could’ve been happy other times in Jack’s life and I think Jack just being a narcissist would make it unlikely because his narcissism is it just about being mean to women Jack was a narcissist, and from what I’ve heard of him, I would say that he was one so I mean he was one. I’m trying to be careful intellectually, but he really was one I mean that’s pretty obvious so I don’t think they’re together. I don’t have a C sense I don’t think it’s possible for him not to heaven sad Sorry I think people have assumed that he was sad because he was so in love with Jack and I think that’s pathetic because I think Jackie was I think I thought was I don’t think that it’s been kind to give Lem’s that position of honor if it’s even hotter and honestly I don’t even know if that’s really what happened if his ghost has been talking to us and again, I think he has been I think his ghost has explained that he was just depressed in general. It was more about his life falling apart then some unfathomable grief there could’ve even been some grief, but I kind of have a feeling that that was not it that it was more just that he felt like his life was over, and I think he even sat as much and people assumed that he was saying that because he was so in love with Jack But I have a feeling he really just thought his life was over and then I think that’s where it’s amazing to me God, we misunderstood read faith we missed that he may have actually been antagonistic towards homosexuality and I think it’s pathetic. I really do however so much and misunderstood him so I just want to end this by again it’s been long I’ve actually enjoyed talking with her and Getting it out there that there are many of us believe it or not who are stable normal people who see what she saying wanna affirm her and say no you’re not crazy. We also don’t think you’re the ones coming up with all of those cause we know how things work there a lot of mediums in the illuminati she’s not meaning to be one, but they can attest to the fact that you say things that aren’t you When you’re channeling someone which is what she’s doing right now she’s channeling me. Does she mean to do that she does but it’s not. It’s really not daemonic with her possibly at all and I feel bad for her because there’s very few questions outside of maybe Catholicism or the West Coast Who really would understand that she’s not actually trying to act to be a psychic medium. This is a bizarre experience for her probably very scary and I just want a firm for her that we hear you and we empathize with you those of us who are sane normal loving people, 
Oh, but I just would like to say you know, God bless you David pets God bless you, Louis Bayard and I think she can say that with me in Christ and I can say it because I do believe in God and God bless you you know we wanna bless you as much as we can but I would want I don’t I am curious as someone who cares how do you explain this yourselves when you’re writing these books when you’re promoting this idea how do you first explain it to yourselves how do you accept these ideas yourself?” says Eric McCormac
Sally Smith decides to say something from the future. “ I feel bad, because I didn’t expect my work as a feminist to be so misogynistic or to be used by misogynists. I have betrayed Lacey as a woman, and I feel responsible. Truth is if I’m dead. Right now I’m speaking from the perspective of somebody who knows a heck of a lot more than I would have when I was alive and she is she blows my conception of the Kennedys totally out of the water. I have to almost laugh, but I can’t quite laugh just yet, she really would have dated Joe if she had been born in 1918 she really would have dated him and he didn’t want people to grieve him when he died. He didn’t want that from people. His family knew that and she knows that about him and she’s alive and he’s dead and that is actually some evidence right there to suggest that they interacted because that’s a bizarre thing for her to have That idea that if he died, she wouldn’t have grieved him the way that you grieve most people. How did you come up with that she never read that or if she did it was very sub textual and I have to say it’s so so textual that I don’t think it’s likely he he was the one that gave her that impression when he would talk to her years ago, but then the fact that she goes along with it that is how she would agree with him if she married him and I actually think she would have Mary lamb because come to find out he was actually straight. Yeah, I’ll laugh about it someday, but if she had married a lamb, then you know all bets are off and they have a different relationship but Joe, even if they didn’t have some perfect love between them or they tried to have it and it wasn’t quite perfect enough so to speak, he still was sort of a perfectionist in that way, and I think he wanted that so I think she would’ve given it to him just to give him respect and because she did love him I think she would have tried to be as happy and stoic as possible And I think he would’ve ironically been upset by that and he had also found it in mirable. Pat tried to do that, and the Kennedys didn’t quite understand because they’re messed up and they could never handle the fact that him and Pat had a relationship you know Lacey can be wrong she didn’t understand so that was as deep as it was and other people who have studied Joe don’t understand that either, but it actually was people are complicated and Joe is one of them, he actually was deeply in love with Pat. He did hide it. He was afraid of her but it you know it was because she was married. She was British and he didn’t want to ruin his political career so he didn’t know how to marry her and make himself Presidential, you know that Maria twice married woman with a British accent, and a strong personality I mean that’s not gonna play well, so that was his fear partially is getting too committed to someone who would’ve ruined him but also, I think she scared him because she was so almost exactly what he was looking for even if they weren’t meant to be together or if they were there for both very messed up people in a way, but they really did love each other profoundly and Lacey didn’t realize that and I can’t his family couldn’t handle it. Joe’s family had a problem with Pat. They were OK with it kick was OK with it. Joe was Jack was OK with it to point, and then they started getting jealous frankly, because that family was very messed up so the minute that things got to be too real into intimate the sibling started getting threatened by that.
So kick miss read Pat and didn’t understand that they had a sort of secret bond between them and no she just didn’t understand Pat and Pat Pat was a mean girl slightly so no that’s the things are very different people on, but yeah, so is the Thalía, but Lacey‘s not and that would’ve actually made Joe like her more because he was very smart and he would’ve read her as being almost exactly what he was looking for.
But I feel misogynistic for glorifying, feminine tears. Especially in this very male centered regressive way.. I am, and then taking those tears away from women and giving them to a gay man, as if somehow gay men can be more of a woman than a woman can’t, because women are so worthless compared to men. I mean it’s disgusting and then she turns that all around and makes it bullshit because it is bullshit with her lack of tears and her personality of strength and nonconformity that’s real nonconformity it it’s sort of makes the whole thing seem stupid because it is stupid and I as a woman as a feminist and shamed of myself so I feel especially responsible and God is giving me grace but no, this is not easy I had to go back in time There is some risk or pain involved for me and it’s worth it and if there’s a Purgatory, it actually is purgatory for me to some degree but God is giving me grace and the fact that she cares about my pain right now makes me want to cry.
No she’s oh heck of a lot stronger than you people realize and that that would’ve been that would’ve been like we needed but she wasn’t there. It’s like a dark apocalyptic version of a beautiful life hurt her life is it’s really disturbing because no we needed her and it’s our reality which is part of the reason it’s so disturbing Because woman that I’ve done I mean Jackie was crying and she was upset and it was disturbing but that would not have been Lacey‘s response not with the Kennedy with with Lem’s. Apparently if there’s reincarnation and there might not here she might’ve been that upset, but she went to bed, not upset in public but in private she would’ve been and she apparently ended up dead, she wouldn’t have if she had been the queen but as a private citizen, I think even is an aristocrat of sorts. She ended up dead, but you know that’s maybe not even some thing that happened but that’s that’s there’s still an incredible amount of strengthen her not showing emotions in public actually is so much strong. It’s courteous to other people because people don’t know what to do with peoples tears. It’s OK to cry it’s good to cry but at times other people really don’t know what to do when we’re that upset and she knows that so part of the reason why she doesn’t cry is because she doesn’t want to bother people and make them feel uncomfortable. Whether people deserve that much consideration or not that’s the kind of person she is. But she wouldn’t have cried at all almost at all if she’d been the first lady no everything would’ve been incredibly rigid because she would’ve been suffering to 7°. She did love him, but she would’ve been bossing around the servants or they would’ve been mindful of her, and then it would’ve just been probably about keeping things is called as possible and you would’ve known that she was despair full or just devastated or whatever I should say in someway but it would’ve been more like an Eleanor Roosevelt type thing where it’s like her whole world doesn’t revolve around him because he baby doesn’t deserve it. And maybe he maybe someone could but that sort of love with something that she’s actually doesn’t give away easily and the fact that she would’ve been able to be married to one of them and be so chaste, but also sort of savvy is some thing that is not common, but it existed, and she is someone who has that arm Sort of this perfect Madonna whore contradiction that is actually just a decent person trying to live in the modern age and that but that sort of toughness that she has no there’s not something that we saw in that family, even though the women were so strong. Apparently I don’t think other than the siblings, and even they were quite that tough as she would’ve been an incredibly tough person I mean it really admire ugly tough and I don’t I just I think our whole view of womanhood, and and intelligence for women and dignity for women would be Fasley different. We would be a very much better country a lot more egalitarian on a gender level a lot more healthy and it’s sad because we didn’t have that role model growing up. We didn’t have someone that strong and intellectual as a woman to look up to Jackie was brilliant, but Lacey is a real intellectual jack. Jackie really was like Jackie was smart Jackie was very smart, but Jackie would never have been featured on William Buckley Episode, you would never have seen her hanging out with William Buckley and James Baldwin. At the same time she would never have gotten into relationship with Harold Loeb. Lacey has OK that’s not the same type of person. I love Jackie but Lacey is a lot more robust as an intellectual, and it is actually quite impressive. Her intelligence is very high that does not make her a man and that does not make her jack She’s not usually intelligent intellectually driven person and her and Queen Elizabeth were actual friends. If there’s an illuminati in it, it makes it, but it explains more about Elizabeth as a person and how intelligent Elizabeth actually was and deep to Lacey already thinks this but I would have to agree with her. Elizabeth really is one of the best queens that the nation of Great Britain maybe ever had And really, she is one of the best she’s one of the best queens yeah she’s one of the best queens they probably ever had and that is saying some thing for the nation of Great Britain. The crown actually is a far better historical resource than the David, pets book or Louis they art, or even anything I ever said , I’m sorry it’s sad that a television show is more intellectually astute that a book but if you’re looking for some historical truth about what the Kennedys were actually like the episodes of the Crown interacting between of their actions between the queen and Jackie are far more elucidating and illuminating whatever than anything I ever wrote I’m just being honest I’m being my own harshest critic I guess in a way but really That is so much more insightful that I think people realize.
So keep that in mind when you’re talking to her, you’re talking to somebody who really fell in love with a Scott Fitzgerald, and accidentally found the illuminati if it exists. And no, Harold is one of her soulmates and eight I think you got a realize that Elliot fell in love with her and she could still be in love with him slightly, but it’s not some thing that she can get out partaken by choice, but he fell for her for a reason I mean, think about his wives come on none of those women were stupid, almost at all if any of them were his mother was Eleanor Roosevelt, and a lot of them were quite eccentric and that is his type and that is Lacey so don’t keep boxing her into the silly notion that you have of her should you exist, because that’s just not who she is. She is much more like auntie Mame then Maddie more him if she seems like me anymore it’s it’s auntie Mame’s attempt to be relatable. She’s a very eccentric person not on relatable and you know very beautiful but she’s not a typical person. 
I’m not saying she’s a Neuro divergent I’m not saying that. I mean Margaret Thatcher might be different and Lacey’s different sort of in the same way. So no, but she would’ve married him. Lem’s was straight. The truth is he is impossible as a gay character he’s completely impossible. Even polyamory does not explain how Jack could’ve treated him so poorly because Jack to Jack treated him very badly at times, it wasn’t just that Jack was mean to women Jack was sometimes mean to him, and then there’s a time where lame actually may have been trying to distance himself from Jack and historians have brushed over that there are some other telltale clues that we just miss ignored, and I would like to explain myself it’s gonna sound sad she doesn’t have to believe me, but she’s trying to let me talk and that’s very brave of her to do.
Lacey, I am not assist I am not as smart as you think I am OK a lot of people read you know Dostoyevsky but not everybody is Laura Bush how about that a lot of people read the work of historians like David Kennedy canadine Kennedy and find it fascinating but they don’t re-read it and dwell on it for decades pondering his words, trying to figure out social class and the meeting of the British empire. In the context of human history. People don’t do that Lacey that is you you are enthralled by such things most people are not. I’m not saying that’s not a thing that’s what you are I’m sure to you you feel like we’re missing out and that it’s actually very sad. What other people can’t enjoy history and arts and music with the same depth and intensity and sadness and all as you life, maybe I think you feel incredible pain and agony, thinking that you’re the only human alive who sees what you see that must be incredibly lonely and depressing There are other people that smart Michael would’ve been able to relate to you, but he’s dead lamb would’ve been able to relate to you Louis, Harold Scott with her all dad, your husband, that you married is no idiot himself. He’s unusually intelligent and pretty much everyone that you’ve ever been in any sort of relationship with that serious has been unusually intelligent, but that that is who you are, so that is not most people One thing you have to understand with her is that she has her fathers personality which is Tom that she’s very hearty. I can’t think of the hardest to describe him, but he’s fascinating to tom banks, and then you combine that with the way she was raised she does not actually have a good idea of who she is in relation to other people and she said that for yours and a lot of people I think think she’s just playing games with them but she’s not She was actually trying to explain herself. She doesn’t get it. This blog is hilarious in that way, because she actually is an unusual person. If there is no illuminati, the illuminati literally talks to you through this block if you read it that’s not typical I don’t even know if that’s ever been done before Then that means nothing to her she thinks whatever it’s just a thing, so yeah, what are Putin actually talks about the war he disguise he discusses his own personality I think the BBC has possibly been smart enough to take some wisdom from the blog that she writes, I don’t I think that was safe And I don’t think Putin minded because I don’t think he wants to be a no one you know or unknowable he’s obviously very Russian person but that’s not typical OK she’s not doing something typical but she’s so unaware of that kind of puts things in perspective and it’s just like OK well I guess we’re all human after all I don’t know him I was impressed with that but I guess maybe it’s not that big of a deal Lacey never mind I mean it’s still impressive. She still makes things seem impressive but it’s she’s so unimpressed with a lot of are here are cues that don’t involve honor or some sort of valor or dignity of some sort, or God, that it’s It’s actually quite comical in a way if there’s no real illuminati and I just want to give her credit for that because I don’t think most people ever will most people are too narcissistic to even think of it. Um, that being said on that cheerful funny note I, I think that’s sad that this woman who is, but we thought the Kennedys were in a wave has no more grace left for them. You know if she’s Tom’s biological daughter her father was in business with their father and that means that there’s some similarities lamb is straight and was straight and it doesn’t I think to him it’s totally inconsequential and it actually is but it’s sad because in their community of bootleggers so to speak, it’s sad that the woman whose father was British and old money ends up being the one to sort of criticize rightfully I don’t like that that’s sad but that’s where we are in 2024 that it’s like the old guard is more righteous and all of their you know historical racism and actually when she defends the British empire, she’s not wrong they were less evil than you might think relatively speaking we’re still relative and I I just I I feel like it’s sad that we’ve regressed you know it’s like OK got going from saying the British are bad. We still love them in British culture but we were not going to you know look the other way we’ve gotten from that in the last 30 to 40 years to being totally evil in obliterating nature selling children totally destroying the middle class and it’s just like do we even have moral high ground to say anything to anyone anymore we still should but I don’t think ice collectively in 2024 have that authority and then so who is in charge and that’s part of why Putin is so powerful that’s part of why she’s writing this blog that’s part of what’s happening is the moral authority has shifted.
So I’m not saying that Americans should say anything with any sort of moral you know anger I’m just saying collectively we’re not where we were 40 years ago as a country so keep that in mind and I guess that’s part of what I will say I feel guilty. I am responsible for what I did, and said, and, I didn’t think about it deeply enough I was not isn’t selection really astute as Lacey and I am the one saying that she hates that but that’s what I’m going to say I am not as reticent as her to make judgment calls like that I said, lamb was the saddest Kennedy widow as an activist as a feminist historian hopefully, as an activist is a feminist in a positive sense I was trying to be progressive. I was trying to move things forward and give Lem’s credit. I wanted to be a voice of change a new history make a difference. But in my good intentions, and you know, I’m not gonna say that there was no desire for notoriety or no desire to make a name for myself. I had that too, but really, I would say a lot of my my personal motivation actually may have been somewhat progressive I may have actually been trying to be a good person And sort of give him credit why did I decide though that he was the saddest widow because he was so sad a lot of people had noted that David Pitts was fascinated by that he was so sad. Everyone was so taken by that you know, he basically seemingly had committed suicide it was around Jack’s birthday and that is a little weird. There are children of con artists connected with you know like Bernie, Madoff or Enron or something who killed them selves that way and on their parents birthday and actually I don’t think that that’s a good thing I think that’s a pretty clear indication of some sort of anger But that’s not how we interpreted it. We thought that was not anger towards Jack. We thought that was love and part of that was Kennedy spoon. Eunice insisted that it was something to do with Jack’s birthday because Liam celebrated Jack’s birthday so much no she did. She said that you just told me that personally possibly that it was a very special day for lunch because he would call everybody and he was so obsessed with Jack and he was so in love with him and he called everyone and talk about it because he was so in love with Jack so impossibly in love with Jack, that he call everyone all the time at his birthday and make such a big deal about it and everyone’s sewing off lame because it was just so special and you know in hindsight, that sounds like bullshit somehow but they had such a hold on people when they first started telling people this shit they were so incredibly exalted in our minds, especially in my generation, that we just were like oh OK sure Eunice Him and so no I just believed that that’s what happened and it was just that he couldn’t handle another birthday without Jack because he loved Jack so much and birthdays were so special to them but if you look at it objectively, it’s actually a very weird moment to choose to kill yourself. It really is but we didn’t see it in that way we saw it through their interpretation of it, that they shove down our throat Where it was like oh you know no no no no it’s not that he killed himself on his birthday. It’s that he couldn’t handle not being able to call everyone and celebrate Jack’s birthday. To be honest it would’ve made more sense if that was the case for him to have killed himself when he was 66 because that would’ve been lambs that would’ve been Jack’s 65th birthday or for him to have killed him self on Jack’s 50th birthday or 60th so there’s some thing about it that doesn’t quite make sense but I didn’t think any of that through at all. I didn’t think any of that through at all. I just bought the story I didn’t. I didn’t question it I guess you could say I was that brainwashed and that naïve that I was just like OK sure and that altered it for me know the story ends are have a bias issue journalist do too and I’m sure you know that it’s a lot of journalism today is not unbiased either And so people are not fighting bias as much in the media as they used to if they ever dead I am so no I just went with my bias right unfortunately and it really is silly because it’s it it it it is weird it is very weird to kill yourself on someone’s birthday but no I just looked the other way and thought whatever you know, I guess he was just too in love But then it’s like I was hearing all the stuff from the Kennedys. I was hearing all this stuff from other historians other people journalist and I just started drawing conclusions and I just thought you know lamb was gay because lime did act gay he did he has gay mannerisms. There is evidence to suggest that he may have dated at least one other man it wasn’t a particularly long relationship, but there was somebody else who he dated and it was not seemingly serious at all, but he knows his story and you look at that and you think he never married he does say I didn’t marry because of Jack, he acted gay red face as he wasn’t outright gay and I came from a time when being gay was a very big deal. People still think they’re in that time in 2024 and they’re not but in the 1980s and 70s and 60s Even 90s it still was a big deal like a really big deal not just a big deal like in the 2007 or 2010s like in the 90s in the 80s. It was a very stinking big deal and no that’s before Eric McCormack‘s show that’s before Will and Grace that’s before Ellen that’s before a lot of movies were made with gay characters. That was a very different time and so I was trying to sort of push things forward I was trying I didn’t have an agenda if I’m being honest and it was gay or I would’ve called gay rights so I was trying to advocate for homosexuals, and I saw a man who acted gay, never got married, simile, dated one other man I knew something sexual. It happened between him and Jack. I knew that. And I just assumed that lamb was in love. It was purely assumption. It was irresponsible, but I assumed that.
I think a lot of people like Louis and David are older and they think like me and unfortunately they’re not as aware of the whole time has changed as they should be. I mean it’s why Kamala couldn’t when it’s why Hillary didn’t win because we’re not in the 1990s anymore we’re not in the 2007 people are not who you thought they were 40 or 50 years ago And a lot of the corners that we cut to try to be progressive are really dangerous and have been for decades at this point, so I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to be honest David was sloppy the book was written badly. It was intellectually improper and lacking and I don’t think he cooperated almost anything that he claimed about almost anybody in any meaningful way that a college student could have done I mean really I’m sorry, but it’s not a great historical work, and is it intellectual want to be at least snoopy intellectual it does piss me off that people reference him with Lyme and claim that he’s you know, lambs biographer what a fucking load of bullshit I’m sorry I’m not as nice as Lacey you irritate me you really do and I’m talking to his spirit right now from the future Louis is he’s an artist and that’s all I’m gonna say he’s an artist. He’s an artist of sorts and I wouldn’t take him seriously as a historian but I would take him seriously as a person and I find him interesting but probably no more so than anyone really I don’t think what he wrote is profound or thoughtful. I personally went by, but would not be surprised if Lacey‘s anticipating more stupid ass articles will say books to be written about lamb before she dies I would say, considering that she’s in her 40s now if you keep writing stuff like that because she is his twin flame. He was straight there together for eternity and her life is miserable And she’s very fortunate. She does a good job protecting her family but she’s a very tragic person and I would not keep writing those books there are people or making the movies or any of that shit just stop by I mean really the Wikipedia page is bad enough as it is, and damning enough as it is, but we don’t have to make it worse we can stop in and we haven’t there are still things running on Facebook on you know homosexual sites that don’t even have his picture it’s rip which you know honestly that’s better than using his picture because as much as it pisses her off, it is actually really good because the people are sincerely interested They may realize that that’s not even him and they may question the veracity of the article itself because of that and that’s a good thing I I think that’s fine personally the business where I’m going with it you can keep doing stuff like that you can keep posting stuff like that you can keep making those things for the next 10 to 20 years But when she’s in her 60s if she still alive and she’s fighting for her life because her health is not great and she’s trying to be a grandmother and be there for her kids and her last 10 to 20 years of a very sad life if you keep making stuff like that happen Because if there is an illuminati, she’s always going to be talking to people you opened up a part of her brain that could never be closed and she was already hearing from ghosts so if you keep if you keep making up crap like that and narcissistically, trying to pick a fight with her you’re going to end up in trouble There’s being confused and then there’s being stubborn Lee willfully ignorant and that’s where a lot of this has been going for a while and I don’t think you have to you can’t you can’t expect her to be nice to you. I don’t think Eric necessarily was but people can’t expect that from her you really treat her like such fucking shit and no I’m sorry it’s it’s a ship has sailed and he has a stupid Wikipedia page we have him labeled as gay when really it’s not as gay as you want it to be. It’s either bisexual or it’s straight and it’s actually straight and I don’t know what else to say about that cause I’m so upset right now but just stop I actually am not upset once you die and you get your head out of the bullshit And you start seeing her perspective. It’s actually really disturbing because she’s not crazy and what she saying is not stupid. It’s actually brilliant and it’s extremely disturbing.
No, I’m making her very uncomfortable and it’s not because she’s insecure. It’s because she doesn’t wanna except a complement that she doesn’t deserve and she also doesn’t want to except a compliment doesn’t deserve and then have you question the veracity of what she thinks about things so basically, I agree with Eric it is impossible, but I didn’t think that deeply. I was just working to try to further gay rights. I was trying to find a historical gay character, I had some inkling he could be gay and I just assumed that he was I didn’t think about it that deeply I didn’t bother analyze it. I have learned not to do that because I’m not like her. I don’t sit around analyzing everything the same profound agree that she does I mean she analyzes sunlight in away that’s not normal. She analyzes fabric in a way that’s not normal. It’s scary because you’re not her if she’s Tom’s daughter, she actually is unusually intelligent no way that for some people it would be frightening it’s not for her but yeah, just explain her. No she right now I mean she’s staring at the ceiling, analyzing the paint and questioning the chemical make up of the paint on her ceiling and actually she’s badgering her self I would say abusively as I’m making her say this at the same time because she doesn’t understand no I’m not kidding. She doesn’t understand the organic chemistry behind paint I’m not making that up she’s actually being abusive to her self because she failed a AP biology in high school she didn’t fail it, but in her mind she did, and she realizes that she could understand the chemical make up of the paint on the ceiling, but she was a slacker And AP biology and showed so she failed her self into virtually but that’s what she’s thinking is that she’s a failure because she doesn’t have a good grounding and power chemistry to understand the chemical make up of Pete but no she over analyzes everything literally I mean everything I’m not making that up. It’s literally everything personalities colors, wood trees, animals, people, history and I think if she been loved by her parents, she would’ve liked math, but they were abusive and so math is traumatic to her and yes she is like auntie maven that way certain numbers are actually triggering to her and so she avoid.
Am so basically that’s who you’re talking to and she ended up. Yeah if there’s no ilumiNATTI she found them because she just analyzes everything and she has been her whole life. She was an only child she was raised in the upper class and so she’s had the time and experience to get enough experiences. Can you know combined by her 30s to be able to find them by accident and then she did Say exist, so yeah she is his soulmate. She is his twin flame. Michael would’ve really enjoyed being her husband to and you’ll be scared someday or not scared to realize that Megan Megan Mullally‘s character in will and grace is actually Lacey and lamb combined as a woman except it’s not really a perfect combination and they’re lame, but I think someone may on the other side have been trying to make her Like them if you were to make them a woman somehow like they are one it’s quite beautiful it’s complicated you’ll see, but I think they were trying to make them one flash, almost where he’s the river, not her, but not quite but sort of and then, so then she’s the sort of Plump, confident, sassy, intelligent, dark beauty with a drug problem that isn’t really a drug problem. It’s more of a joke and then she’s married to this mysterious, extremely wealthy, older man in New York City and she’s the stepmom that actually could’ve been Lacey‘s life if she if Michael hadn’t died, this is the sad or happy thing, though is that she went to heaven having taking drugs mom took drugs because he was because he was messed up. I kind of wonder to be honest of David had something to do with the creation of that character, David was not stupid, and I think he may have thought that Lamb had a drug addiction because of his nature, and have not realized entirely while I was taking drugs so I think he may have thought that lamb just had a sort of drug addict personality and that’s why Megan Mullally‘s character is a drug addict even though she’s not really terribly messed up or depressed necessarily, but yeah or he just assumed that Lacey and Michael would have had a bad marriage or he was trying to make her character less happy with Michael because he was worried long would be jealous him or I was it was being ironic. I don’t know it’s hard to know, but I was straight and David was not stupid and dumb and he did kill himself so anyway and he was a pretty good writer and his mother was a huge fan of NBC. I’m not convinced that he had nothing to do with that I’m winking at you as I’m saying that, how do you know whether there’s homosexuality allowed in heaven or not? I don’t think I think he was smart enough to know that people needed to have a more honest idea of what homosexuality is and was I think he may have thought that people needed to be less confused about what an actual gay man looks like or should look like if it’s going to be socially acceptable yeah, I think he would’ve said that it’s either completely insane or if it’s not that they probably are less silly and remote and bizarre than we thought that they were that they’re really just men.
Him but I’m not that I’m at you know I meant well, possibly but I just didn’t think things through that deeply. I just assumed that one was gay because I couldn’t tell OK I couldn’t tell I may have even had crushes on gay men in college who I didn’t realize were gay Lacey, for whatever reason, never finds gay men attractive She just doesn’t they’re just not her thing there’s something about them that she picks up on with her intelligence and that she just notices because she analyzes everything and it’s just like she sees some thing in their face or some thing in their body and she thinks you that’s not what I want and she’s absolutely right and I don’t really want her either so it works out But then she’s more likely to find a homosexual identifying, who is actually bisexual than most people and I don’t think people have realize that who are bisexual and think that they’re gay that someone like her could exist, and if they were young and attractive, maybe they could actually end up with her Attractive to them that being said she doesn’t realize this, but that’s not most people most people don’t notice those details in peoples face because they’re there they’re not obvious details most people know she has an incredibly good eye she does. I’m just being honest I’m not breaking. This is not her I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings and narcissist, she actually does have an incredibly good I am And her Perfume analysis was better than people think are they didn’t think that and then they got mad at her and change their mind but they were right the first time she picks things apart the details of everything and then she puts them back together and so she does it with people with parts with color with everything and Yeah that does not make her Jack. It makes her who she is because it’s not just color it’s everything and it’s everything really everything it’s she’s not Jack like I said, if some of over in her mind, I think they might even lose their mind Scott could handle it. Hemingway thinks he would get drunk a lot. Harrell lobe is actually smarter than her believe it or not Harold Lopez, unusually brilliant man, and he if he was being slow, Salvador Dali was may be about as smart as her believe it or not, but it’s a hair lobe was actually far more intelligent than people realize he really was. He was an unusually brilliant man, and he actually finds from brain a little slow, a little rickety no, he really was that brilliant you might not think that, but he was he was a lot smarter than people realize but that that is dumb that’s who she that’s who she is. Jack was nowhere near that intelligent I’m sorry if that’s harsh but he really wasn’t and she’s not him and basically what I’m trying to get out is that she does notice those things OK she picks up on stuff and, she just noticed she just noticed that Landon seem gay. She noticed the Anderson Cooper slightly did if not completely and so she thought Lem’s was really attractive when she was a teenager yeah and everyone said he was gay and so she’s just like OK I’m just gonna shut up about that and then Anderson Cooper everyone had a crush on him and she didn’t. She thought he was so much good looking, but there was some thing about him that she thought was just not quite right and it said he’s not straight but that was not something that most people picked up on so all that to say I had to stop. I was homophobic, or I was hateful, and I decided that certain things were gay like an interest in the ballet or art, or a man who was more flamboyant, and some of those men were not gay, and they were very irritated by me because they either had a crush on me and I end up hurting them or I ended up relating to them like they were you know gay and they weren’t or they were some men who were gay, who are really good looking and they were gay and it’s maybe not as good looking as I thought it was, it’s more just a gay person who presents themselves well yeah, some of those men were just average looking gay men who took really good care of themselves possibly or some thing, but I didn’t realize that and so I just thought oh no, they’re really good looking man wow and then I will develop a crush on them because I was sort of blind. So I just stopped analyzing stuff like that so I just assumed that line was gay and then you know there was so many gay people that were like why would you ever choose to be gay? Why would you ever choose? That is such a common thing for gay people to say why would you ever choose to be gay no one would ever choose. No one would ever choose to be gay, who would ever choose to be gay people don’t choose to be gay that actually is not true people might choose to be gay people who choose the people may choose I think in a very colloquial sense that could actually be true, but strictly speaking, it’s nonsense so people could use to be gay some people have chosen whether it’s dysfunctional or not and gay people when they say that if they’re well-intentioned should be a little more cautious, because if it gets to be a nonsensical thing to say to be honest, but they’re trying to defend themselves and try to get their trying to explain that it’s not a choice and it’s not a choice but saying who would choose that is probably a very poor argument at the end of the day. I’m sorry to have to say that.
Oh, but you know you were trying to explain themselves at any rate I didn’t think and this is what sad and why I’m picking up that I didn’t think someone would choose to act gay especially at that time in the 30s and 40s and 50s if they weren’t actually gay I didn’t think that was possible. Oh no, I really didn’t. I really didn’t think it was possible. I thought it was may be possible but not really not really I’m sorry I actually thought that was pretty much impossible that anyone would ever choose to be gay. Am I I guess if I really thought about it, I might’ve thought oh that’s not a rational thought That’s not really intellectually solid enough as a historian to assume that in every situation, but I didn’t think that deeply. I’m not that smart blunts and I’m smart, but not that smart and so I didn’t overthink it so to speak I say is I’m rolling my  eyes because it’s nonsense and a lot of people really are very in capable of hearing criticism even if it’s well attention criticism for their own good, but no, I really didn’t think it was possible I really didn’t. I don’t think and you get any person whatever choose to be gay because it was just too hard. It was just too painful him so I thought no I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever really do that. There’s no good reason to it’s too painful. No one would ever think that makes sense. No one would ever do that that’s nuts.
So I’m gonna have to assume that Linn was gay because Bryn Seay was just being backward and not wanting to be open about the fact that Linn was gay, even though that’s not what he said, but you know I was so determined to be progressive and empathetic and useful that I just wanted to cut through all the red tape, all the bullshit and speak truth And I actually made in chat so much trying to make a name for myself too, but not entirely not entirely and so I was so much trying to be helpful and I just assumed he was straight. Yeah no one would ever choose to be gay there’s no way that’s possible even though that’s ridiculous but that’s what I thought and the story and, so I just trusted that way too much and I just assumed that that was an open chat case and then I was trying to give him credit for something that I thought he deserved to have, which was the sort of honorary title of the most, you know, sad gay man ever or the saddest Kennedy widow And that was a mistake and the sad truth is when David dies he will feel very embarrassed to when Luis dies. He will also feel embarrassed. I don’t think there’s anyone who is currently alive, who is written some thing about him who will not suddenly just smile and feel stupid when they die But the but the problem is it doesn’t work because we went to far I have yet to see how Louis and David handle it but I chose to come back in time and try to say something because God was allowing that and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity in a way to explain myself, but also just to defend myself to, but really, I think mostly just explain myself to her because she’s lost. I mean Eric was helpful today if she was channeling him at all but seriously, she doesn’t get it and I don’t think she’s thought that it was possible that I could really be that stupid and I was Lacey. I was just stupid I just didn’t realize the possibility that someone could really be that confused know things are not simple and that is not some thing that most people have an easy time with for her it’s comforting because life would be I would say unbearably boring for her with the lack of human contact that she suffered if things weren’t as complex as they are, it would’ve been miserable for her to be alive as intelligent as she is For most people, they don’t amuse themselves with endless conundrums and if you know most of them, don’t think like a gardener I guess or something along those lines and so it’s like you know yeah most people just start looking that deeply at stuff and they’re more or less just thinking and not being stupid but just not being quite so profoundly oh aware of everything and believe it or not she doesn’t believe me entirely but no really they’re not – isn’t completely believe me but but she does slightly and I know she’s listening so no as astounding as it is to you as unthinkable as it is, believe it or not I really didn’t think it through. I really did not think it through to that depth and I guarantee for you that David didn’t and neither did Louis. I don’t think any of us thought it through to that extreme him cause rest that’s an extreme you know we have lives so to speak as he would say I think you would be thinking it through that deeply anyway most likely I think you’re just like that but we’re not and so nope we just didn’t notice, we really didn’t nothing not at us and if it did, it was something that we learn to ignore because usually was just frustrating. Sometimes it’s like as it is a historian is a researcher you learn to ignore stuff because you don’t know the language you don’t know the context and so you can’t just start right by reinventing the wheel. If you kind of start relying the way that you never would on other historians him every feeling Lacey would probably double check everything if she didn’t have a grasp of it herself, she would double check everything before she wrote anything of any real gravity as a doctorate as a professor she would be excruciatingly accurate him but but we’re not like that so we just assumed we just assumed and that’s just how we are. We just made assumptions and then got attached to them. I know that’s hard for you to believe because you don’t think of yourself as an unusual person but that’s how a lot of people are and again it’s not. They can never find anything sweetie. It’s like when I want to say sweetie because I just like I know it’s not quite appropriate but they can never find anything it’s like when you look, you find some thing you get a sense of something being somewhere and you look and you find it I mean you found the illuminati sweetie if it exists a lot of people have looked for the illuminati and never found it, but you found it you found the actual illuminati.
*Joe Kennedy Junior laughs*
And yes, Joe is proud of the fact that Lacey is like this he is extremely competitive and obviously he feels some sense of pride because when she first discovered them, she thought he was better looking than his brothers and more killing and I’m pretty sure he takes that very seriously.
I know most people when they dig don’t find something like that most people are not like that if there is reincarnation, her father really was a pharaoh in Egypt and she’s a real person there might not be reincarnations, but if there is that’s part of what makes her who she is and why her level of intensity is nothing to her because she grew up in ancient Egypt as her first life as the daughter of a pharaoh but that’s also not really real unless if there’s reincarnations And her might not be him but that’s a I bring that up because if there is she actually is Scotia she actually really is the real Scotia and her father actually was a pharaoh in Egypt, Tom and she’s finding reincarnation the same where she finds everything the same where she found the British Isles, and then an away has been stuck there ever since him because she still loves that area. If there’s reincarnation her mom came back Because they love the British Isles they love Great Britain so much so that’s good that’s kind of who she is when she digs there or something they’re almost certainly I know she’s not a dog but when she digs when she’s when you know when she gets a sense of something There as of almost it’s almost always that there’s something there if there’s not reincarnation then there’s not but that’s why you need to be careful with this reincarnations question if you’re reading this and as a Christian, don’t just assume that you know, research it because at the very least, she could be fascinated by it out of concern for people and she doesn’t want you to be deceived and think that it exist if it doesn’t so look into it.
So basically what you need to do is just realize that when you’re talking to her, she wants the best for everybody and yeah just he was straight. I’m sorry, but he was straight. He was an unusual person he acted gay he wasn’t very convincingly, except not enough to convince red Faye or Lacey and frankly, I’m not even sure Jackie was 100% convinced that he was gay, I think Jack might have suspected that he was straight and then been evil about it but are dumb and evil I don’t know I’ll leave that up to God to sort through but the thing is most people are not like that when they dig sometimes I think there’s some thing in there isn’t so or there is but it’s sort of tangential or it’s related but not really what they thought it was and you get used to that there’s a person where it’s just like me it might be interesting to me, but I’m not is obsessed as some people are and so I guess maybe I’m wrong you know and um yeah it’s not as demoralizing, but not for someone like her who notices so much it’s actually demoralizing because she notices too much to not be right in a sense And yeah multiple to start like that so you just rely on other peoples opinions and you do you get a sense that you could be wrong but it’s like no I’m probably not. I’m probably a no not wrong and then you get attached the idea David got really attached the idea And I can’t speak to that because that’s not really me. I never really figured it lame out. I didn’t really want to that much necessarily a I just thought well he’s gay I don’t know he’s interesting. I guess he was a complicated sensitive person and it really devastated him and I didn’t really analyze it more than that. I did, but not like in an a character type of way about his personage so to speak.” says Sally Smith from the future.
“ i’ve tried to say some things she couldn’t believe it was true, so will just agree. Lacey that this might not be me what is it is I am David Pitts, and I am talking from the future.
I figured out that Lambo straight I actually did. I figured it out in a conversation that I had with Gore Vidal. And I figured it out in a conversation that I had with score of adult here said some thing that made me wonder if Linn was straight gore had realized it, but being younger than gore, and from a different time than Garverdale, I found it weird and it suddenly made me wonder if line was straight I just it struck me something that he sat. I thought this is weird Lem’s sound straight. And I thought he was straight it just clicked in my head. I thought Lem’s was straight. Dammit he was straight and I thought why was he in a gay relationship with Jack if he was heterosexual and then I thought which is basically what happened but not quite. I thought maybe he was molested maybe he was molested by a parent maybe he was molested by a cousin and uncle and aunts and grandparents I had some scenario in my head Willam was basically confused And met Jack and was probably pretty much straight maybe mostly straight and sort of got sucked in to some sort of cult of personality with Jack, where he wasn’t really thinking straight. He just sort of let himself be the sort of groupie sort of mindless worshiping zombie of jack, which is not really a thing entirely I mean it is, but it’s not And I realized that I had but I have I had hesitation with that theory and I pretty much just thought he’s straight and there’s something wrong with him. There’s something wrong with him and again I thought he might’ve been molested and confused, which is what happened, but I didn’t quite have it nailed down as exactly as what actually happened But I I thought something like that I had confused him
It but then I went home that night to my middle class upper middle class life will say maybe I had pizza watch the movie thought about it or just sat may be in my room eating ramen watching Willow Grace I might’ve had a rather pleasant you know downtime thinking about it the next day or that night and I thought I can’t go with us. It was sheer panic because it’s like what if he actually was straight my entire book is ruined, there’s nothing I can do that blows the last 10 fives attend one years of my research at the time I’ve spent all the money all the effort just totally down the drain because if he’s straight I have no book is no way that I could write my book about their love story, if one was straight Because it’s in a way it was too convoluted where it’s kind of like Salems sort of streets but he wasn’t and then I guess he was in some sort of toxic relationship with Jack or what have you, so where do you go from there? why is he hanging out with Jack all the time and I already knew that it was going to be an uphill battle because there are so many people who wanted to think that Jack was straight as I’m saying this to her there still are there’s still a huge number of people who go online for for Bobby or Russell or just on their own and say Jack was straight get your facts right? And it’s nonsense he wasn’t but that’s what people wanna think so I already knew I had a problem with that and I thought there’s no way that I can write this book With further complication because then what does that mean that Jack was a rapist you don’t where is this going that Jack was using? The weird man is a dimwit this tragic man he was just using him as a sex slave routing is life and then does love know that or not maybe he does maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he never figures out that he was totally taken advantage of, and it was just too impossible and frankly, I also was getting a lot of publicity people were paying attention to me. I was interviewing people from history, who were a very big deal like war of Adele. I might’ve talk to Francis Macado I was talking to people who were significant, and I was becoming a very big deal in a lot of peoples minds people were giving me a lot of affirmation in the community. I had a fan club, basically Hard to think of it that way baby and I was just like gob smacked because what was I supposed to do you know just throw all that away because it was fake and yeah I should have low panics. OK I panicked under pressure and I made an immoral decision.
She doesn’t want to say that maybe this isn’t even me but let’s just say that it is and then I feel bad I did I I chickened out and I put my own needs as a person trying to make a name for myself above the actual accuracy of what I was writing, and it’s possible that in some recess of my mind, I thought to myself What is the greater good magnifying something that’s been totally clear of relegated to the dustbin of history you know discussing the fact that Jack was not straight most likely, and sort of illuminating that making a man who we think is straight, but isn’t more accessible and obvious to people giving credence to people suspicions that he was gay what is more important being totally accurate and honest with them or illuminating Jack’s homosexuality for the sake of everyone and I chose the latter I chose to just sacrifice lamb for the sake of what I thought might be the greater good potentially so it was, but it was my own personal gain, and the sense that it was more advantageous to discuss it, then not.
I was wrong, but I am I know I’ve played Russian roulette in a way in, and to be honest, I did write back poorly, partially to sort of possibly if this is me illuminate that I may have made the book slightly shoddy, to sort of hint at the fact that my intellectualism was not top grade Cuz I I I do have a conscience possibly and I might’ve felt guilty if this is me and I might’ve thought I’m gonna make it a little crappy because I don’t want people to think that I am the expert that I am pretending to be over there to take me seriously, but not so seriously that they won’t doubt anything that I say so I worded things poorly I cut corners mostly because I didn’t want to be taken overly seriously by people.
Oh, but no one was straight. I’m saying this from the afterlife yeah he was straight and there’s so a lot of evidence to suggest that any evidence that’s there that would say otherwise is explainable believe it or not it really is there’s there’s no reason to think I was gay he acted gay and you could assume probably someone safely that he wanted people to think that he was gay or something like that, you could probably someone safely assume that something gay happened for him whether he wanted it or not and maybe that’s not even gay but I don’t think you can assume that he was actually homosexual and the problem with my book is that it sacrifices Lem’s far too much because people think that I was really giving Lem’s a fair in a voice and I wasn’t Him so it’s too far in that way but also his mother and father will his mother at least might’ve doubted that he was homosexual. His sister was not sure about it potentially as she just sort of wavered her whole life and then just beginning to assume that he was, she died, mostly, but not entirely, so it’s like I don’t think he was K but I do but his mother might’ve outright said it was nonsense on more than one occasion when she was alive and she would probably know and I don’t think she was a bigoted woman and I have a feeling that she knew if this is true that he wasn’t But I that was possibly if that’s if this is real that was part of it went into my thinking was that she thought that but potentially hall or someone’s pulling Lacey’s leg but if this is true, no I always his mother thought that and then something else was said and I just realize that he really wasn’t him Because his mother wasn’t making it and it just was weird that she was so not bigoted, but just really antagonistic towards it potentially even if she actually wasn’t actually a homophobic or misogynistic or backward person she was really weirded out by it possibly and yeah, that seems strange to me as a historian And no I ignore that in a way so in that sense I messed up but I also messed up because I created a false narrative. It’s total rubbish you’re right, Lacey there’s no way Jack had this amazing friendship as I may have worded at this astounding friendship of great depth and beauty with anybody I mean no you know I am narcissistic people who are sex predators Generally do not make the best of friends. Maybe they could to some degree but I’m not even sure they can I think for a narcissist it’s very hard to be a genuinely good front, much less have an astounding friendship of great depth and beauty that surpasses all understanding him, and that’s basically the bullshit that I fed people was at their their relationship just was off the charts. Fantastic. Totally unbelievable.
Did I believe that do I believe that as I’m telling you this from the future in the present not at all no I did not drink my own Kool-Aid I might think that they had some special sort of friendship of some sort or I might not really think that at all the truth is, I might not analyze them that much I wrote the book I talk about it, but in reality, I probably don’t let myself think about it that much because if you’re hearing from me, I know that it’s somewhat bullshit so I don’t let myself think about it because it’s too disturbing but but no I did not actually think and do not actually think and believe that they had this fantastic relationship that’s just me though and maybe this isn’t me, but if it is there you go, I am a jaded, a self promoting person I guess you could say who just saw an opportunity and took it I’m not 100% evil or stupid event but I just or shallow but I did I did I did I took it I took an opportunity if you’re hearing for me this is really what happened.” says David Pitts possibly from the future.
“What did Gore Vidal say?” asks a journalist.
“ he said Lem’s never watched football, but there were times he watch the cheerleaders.” says David Pitts.
“ I like watch during halftime like watch the cheerleaders?” says a gay man.
David nods.
“ how did that not seem weird to him?” says another actress.
“He thought it was a joke. I don’t think he over, thought it. It was in sort of a long monologue that he had about the whole life experience of knowing him he was talking a lot, and that was just one of the things that he said very quickly as a sort of commentary on lambs personality and character Him he thought Linn was annoying because he didn’t like football all that much and so jacked it and so Jack would be watching football on television sometimes or he would be watching a game really and lame wouldn’t really want to watch him but then there were cheerleaders at games in person, or on television and lame would sometimes watch the cheerleaders when they perform, but he wouldn’t watch the game And I guess gorgeous thought that was acceptable somehow for gay men it’s possible that a lot of people papa gay men could still be attracted to women back then, so he was just saying oh no, he took time to watch the cheerleaders, but he he never took time to appreciate you know Jack’s favorite sport or they didn’t really have that in common and he could never figure out why lamb was really a part of Jack’s life I think he thought that loud was just sort of annoying because he just didn’t have anything in common with Jack and he was just a mooch.” says David Pitts.
“Yes. I did. Regardless. …Cheerleaders in 1960 are as sexy as I get. In public. Just to clarify. And that’s in the past.” says Lem.
“Yeah. …That’s not all he said. …He said, ‘Lem was a real ass! …I mean a MONSTER! …He ate with his hands! …Lasagna. Wiped it on his pants. …He laughed…loud. No, not like a [insert gay slang term], like a dog. …I was very put off by him. …His table manners. His laugh. His use of drugs in later life. …He was a…unvarnished man. …And maybe being closeted Jack liked that. I don’t know! …But I found him obnoxious. We couldn’t be friends!’”
Bobby fumes. “Not true!!!” he yells.
“Ha. Ahhh…
He said- Or rather I said, ‘Do you think he was a bad influence on Jack?’
And he responded, ‘Man! …I guess! …Yeah, I guess I do. …He was…lazy. …Smart, in a way. I suppose. But…I don’t know if he ever read much of anything!’
And I said, ‘Yeah, I guess that just wasn’t his way.’
And he said, ‘I didn’t hate him! …He just irritated me.’
You know…it was possibly exactly like this. Or this. Or close. And…yeah. If this is me…I knew.” s
Keen to Cross the Pond 