“Lacey! …I don’t think you realize that we thought you were rich!” says Casi to Lacey.
Lacey thinks. She furrows her brow. “I recall you saying many contradicting things.” says Lacey.
Casi laughs.
“That cannot be true!” says Suzanne.
“No! You did that yourself!” says Lacey.
“WHAT!??!” says Casi.
“You described my living situation…while I was in Seattle…in one comment…and the way you described it…it sounded…poor. Comfortable but actually quite poor. …I mean you emphasized the luxury of it…but it was luxury that…could be poor. So…it was like…’Why are you so grumpy!!? You live in a luxury apartment! You have a decent husband! And a little boy! If I was that fortunate…I’d be HAPPY! You STUPID BITCH!’” says Lacey.
“Mmhmm. That’s actually pretty close to what you said.” says Casi’s grandfather, laughing.
Casi thinks. “So you took what I said…and you assumed I was implying…you were poor!?” says Casi.
“YES!!” yells a woman from West Bloomington. “YES! It’s all in the tone and timing. …It sounds like a clever insult.”
“Was it?? You did a lot of passive aggressive insults, Casi.” says Franny.
“Yeah. Okay. I do that.” says Casi. “No. The thing is…I’m this situation…I’m not sure it actually was. …I think in this situation…I was actually being direct.”
“That’s not how Lacey interpreted it!” says the woman from West Bloomington.
“So she thought I was dense!?” says Casi.
“YUP! Well…not that dense. …But…certainly not thinking she was rich.” says the woman from West Bloomington.
Casi smirks and nods her head.
“Okay!! So regardless…you all had thought she was RICH!?” says a former model in the Illuminati.
“Yes.” says Casi.
“That’s what I thought…at first. BUT…some of you seemed determined to prove I wasn’t.” says Lacey.
“I’d just like to point out that this is all being done by a scared group of somewhat loving older adults in the Illuminati. Telepathically. …This doesn’t replace actual on person conversation.” says God. “She won’t be able to psychologically really know.”
“Thank you!!” says Lem.
“Even so let’s keep trying to talk to her! Maybe it’s sort of what she thinks!” says an Asian woman.
“No! We thought you were rich!!” yells Dmitry at Lacey.
“No! I really did!” says Casi.
“Really!? I get why she’d wonder!” says Casi’s grandfather.
“YES!” says Casi.
Lacey thinks. “That’s not what I experienced, necessarily.”
“So we seemed…convinced you were poor?” says a woman.
Lacey thinks. “Actually some people seemed patronizing. Some Europeans. Who I suspected were better off than me. …And then some people seemed…impressed. …And then other people seemed…convinced I was poor and UGLY. TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT!!” says Lacey. “DETERMINED to practically…strangle me.”
“So what did you think we were mad about!?” asks one of them.
“What I’ve heard. Jealousy. …Usually when people are cruel in that particular way people call it jealousy.” says Lacey. “But I didn’t really know.” She thinks. “It was…fascinating but also very hurtful and scary and disturbing.”
“So a group of people seemed genuinely SURE you were an ugly girl from a poor family!??” says a reader.
Lacey thinks. “Or something like that. Yes! That’s the general vibe.”
“Why did you guys do that to her!???” she asks Casi. “YOU GENUINELY CONFUSED HER!!!”
Lem smiles mysteriously.
Casi thinks.
China cracks up laughing.
“NO!!!” screams Casi. “NO WAY!!”
“Anyway! Why’d you do that to me!!?” says Lacey.
“Because you were…posh.” says Casi.
“No I WASN’T!” says Lacey. “I mean I’m not saying I’m in a lower class! …I’m just saying I wasn’t that posh!”
Casi covers her mouth with both hands. Laughing.
“What’s posh to you!?” says Casi.
Lacey thinks.
ZALOR TREVA by Phonkha plays.
“This isn’t what she’s supposed to be involved in!!!” yells Lord Rothschild about Lacey.
“TOO BAD!!” says Hamas.
He laughs. “YOU DO NOT…REALLY WANT HER INVOLVED!!” he warns them.
“OH REALLY!?” says Hamas. “For now it’s nice!!”
“Fine. I’m just well aware that the interests of Ancient Egypt aren’t necessarily your interests.” says Lord Rothschild.
“FINE! …She cares. Regardless!! IN CHRIST.” says a dead Palestinian.
“What!? You’re afraid she’ll try to build a pyramid in Gaza!?” jokes Donald Trump Junior.
“No!!” says Hamas. “It’s not going to happen! And I’m not worried about that. You stay out! …But…no. …That’s…not even-“
Don Junior stares at him. Smiles.
“YOU GOT THE MOVE FROM HER!??” he says.
“We’re into real estate too.” jokes DJT.
“But they still get your money? You just want…out?” says Hamas.
“Look!! …I love Israel!! …My daughter married a Jew!! …My allegiance is to Israel! ALWAYS!!! ALWAYS!! …But…we can’t afford to over involve ourselves!” says DJT.
“SHIT!!” says Hamas.
“OH!? That bothers you!??” says DJT. “Why aren’t you pleased!?”
“CASI!!!” yells Lord Rothschild.
Hamas thinks.
Hamas looks worried.
Hamas sits down…covers its mouth in shock.
ZALOR TREVA by Phonkha plays.
The song plays.
“We’ll nuke you!! If we have to!” says Israel to Hamas.
“WE KNOW!!” yells Hamas.
“We’ll nuke you!!!” yells Iran at Israel.
“We can work this out!!” says Tsar Putin.
“SHIT!!” yells Israel. “SHIT!”
“I WARNED YOU!!” says Lord Rothschild. “Now everyone is crying.”
Hamas laughs.
“She’s a stern woman when she so chooses.” says Lord Rothschild.
“Yes! Sean Connery from SNL as a Middle Eastern diplomat!” says Sean Connery.
“No one is going to get away with anything!” jokes Scotland.
Israel smirks. “WE’LL BE FINE!!” it says.
“So will I, bitch!” says Palestine.
“You’re both in trouble!” says Lacey.
They both look like boys who broke the rules and got caught by Lacey.
“I’m WATCHING YOU!!” says Lacey very sincerely.
Hamas laughs. “THANK GOD!!”
“SHE LOVES ME TOO!” says Israel.
“SO WHAT!?” says Palestine.
“Man! You can never lighten-up!” says Israel.
“YOU STOLE OUR LIFE!!!” yells Palestine like Israel is evil but also retarded.
The song plays over again.
“Dude! We NEED A COUNTRY!!!” yells Israel. “HOLOCAUST!”
“Oh! So when you copy them…and pull that shit on us…it’s fine!??!?” says Palestine. “NO! I don’t think so!!”
“You think we’re friends!??” says Israel. “You know we aren’t friends!!”
“That’s YOUR FAULT!!” yells Palestine.
“I’m not moving!” says Israel.
“NOR AM I!!!” yells Palestine.
The song plays.
“Don’t worry the AntiChrist is in the process. This shitshow will end soon. …Sorry!” says Satan. “I shouldn’t have rebelled.”
“An apology from Satan! LOVELY!” says Lord Rothschild.
“Does he mean it!?” says a woman.
“HE DOES. Don’t trust him…but yes.” says God. “He’s had regrets before.”
Palestine nods.
The song starts over.
The song plays.
“So! Strip mall on the strip? Or should I take my jokes back to New York?” says Donald Trump Senior.
“Do you want to buy GREENLAND!??” yells a confused Danish man.
“NO!! DUH!!” yells Ivanka.
“So…you’re JOKING!?” says a Danish man with no sense of humor.
“NO!! I’m SERIOUS!!” yells Donald Trump.
“DUDE!! CHILL!!!” yells Canada at the Danish man.
“I had no idea he was joking!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, sincerely offended.
Marco Rubio laughs.
“Well, that’s awkward.” says a woman in the US.
“This isn’t funny!! YOU TELL ME!! I AM NOT GOING TO BE…PLAYED!!!” yells Bobby, crying.
“Bobby! Chill!” says Israel.
“OH REALLY!??” yells Bobby. “NOO!!!” he yells. He slams a brief case on to the floor in a HUGE hissy fit.
“Bobby! Chill!” says Marco Rubio.
Bobby is sedated.
Elon Musk cracks up laughing. “WOW!” he says.
The song starts over.
Bobby collapses and is carried away. To take a nap. It’s Friday afternoon. It’s cool, apparently.
Marco Rubio shrugs. “I’m not- It’s in his head!” he says to someone.
“Where’s the CEO of Liberty Mutual!?” says the CIA, rolling its eyes.
“He’s told us her blog in that regard was a lie…or a joke.” says the FBI.
“I heard what I heard!” says Lacey.
“I NEVER!!!” says the CEO of Liberty Mutual.
The song ends and restarts.
The song plays.
“I like this song!!” says Lacey. “She dances to it.”
“It’s good!” sincerely says Osama Bin Laden who joins her. Chastely dancing.
“Yeah. It’s good.” says Marco Rubio.
“Bobby hates this song.” whispers a woman to someone else.
“He hates this song!?” says Hamas.
“APPARENTLY!” shouts Israel.
They all listen to it.
Lacey dances. So does Osama Bin Laden.
A German woman sits in the shadows and silently watches them, studying their moves. Analyzing them. Fascinated.
“Bobby is FINE!!” brightly announces Ethel out of nowhere as if EVERYONE WAS REALLY REALLY WORRIED.
The song ends after it plays.
“Yeah. It’s good.” says Putin, flirting with Lacey.
The song slowed down restarts.
Lacey freezes. Takes a deep breath. Closes her eyes. “Where is Lem?” she says.
“DEAD!” says Putin, somewhat primly.
“So WHAT!?” yells Osama Bin Laden’s ghost.
“THANK YOU!!
SO WHAT!?” yells Lem’s ghost.
Putin smiles and smirks.
Osama Bin Laden exhales.
“Is he her chaperone!?” asks a reader.
“YUP!” yells Osama Bin Laden.
“Fuck.” says a poor white southern woman, rubbing her forehead.
The song ends.
“Ha! HAVE FUN!!” suddenly shouts Hitler. “HAVE FUN!!!”
Elon Musk looks worried. Slightly sits up.
“No! Don’t worry! …I’ve arranged for dancing. …I just…hope you know.” says Hitler. He winks at Elon.
Elon nods.
Ocean Breathes Salty by Modest Mouse plays.
“Lacey what caused WWI?” asks Israel.
“LACEY!! WHAT IS POSH TO YOU!?!” yells Casi, struggling.
The song plays. Lacey sits in a Scottish sweater. With a Scottish wool blanket. Furrowing her face…with intense seriousness. She blinks.
The song ends.
She remains unmoved and silent.
“That’s definitely my daughter.” says Tom Banks about Lacey.
Dashboard by Modest Mouse plays.
She still doesn’t move.
The Kennedys demons they are faithful to have made Lem disappear again though. So Putin is angry.
“THAT ISN’T FAIR!!” yells Putin.
Osama Bin Laden nods.
Lacey takes a deep breath and exhales sharply.
The song plays.
The song ends.
Come As You Are by Nirvana plays next.
Lacey still sits frozen and serious. Writing. Very serious.
“LACEY!! They are asking you questions!!” yells a Middle Eastern man at her.
The song plays.
1:45
Lacey sighs.
The song plays.
“LACEY!!” yells Hamas.
She clears her throat. Takes a deep breath.
She rolls her eyes.
“Okay! Ahh…
*the song ends*
*Social Cues by Cage The Elephant plays next.*
Well…*she yells over the music* QUEEN ELIZABETH II is posh!!
*Eunice Kennedy Shriver cracks up laughing at Lacey and Lacey violently ignores her with icy coldness*
*the song plays as China laughs again*
*Eunice looks hurt*
*Lacey, annoyed, takes a deep breath*
*No One’s Gonna Love You by Band Of Horses plays*
*Putin stares at Lacey romantically. But also laughs.*
*Lacey smiles at him.*
*She takes a deep breath. Rolls her eyes in exhaustion.*
Ahh…what else was it!?!” she yells, tired, at Hamas.
2:15
2:28
*Hamas laughs with Lacey at the lyrics.*
The song ends.
Cyrus rubs his forehead. “WHAT!?” he yells.
Just by Radiohead plays.
“Just look back. Lem is the only one who kept track.” says Cyrus.
Lem is being repressed by demons working with the Kennedys so he can’t help. She scrolls up.
She drinks her kombucha.
“WORLD WAR I!” she yells brightly.
3:02
“Ahh…
*she blinks and looks pretty*
Well… *she yells over the music*
Electric Feel by MGMT plays at the request of Bobby who had it in the playlist for the hour before he was sedated.
*she rolls her eyes*
WHAT CAUSED IT!??” she yells.
“YES!!” yells Hamas.
1:45
She clears her throat. “THIS SONG IS FUN. But VERY ANNOYING!
Let’s see…ASIA!!!” she screams.
2:42
“Oh!” says DJT.
“Yes!” says Lacey.
The song ends.
“You see…Europe was choking on Asia.” says Lacey.
Inside Out by Eve 6 plays.
DJT stares at her.
Hamas laughs.
“Yup.
They secretly were scared shitless by China and the rest of Asia.” says Lacey.
North Korea laughs. Nods.
“Makes sense.” says DJT.
“It’s a dirty secret?” says Lacey. “It’s so scary historians have collectively agreed to lie about it for centuries.”
DJT nods.
2:39
“They are always looming. …And it’s anxiety producing. And people lied about it. Because we did win. BUT…MY THEORY is that we always knew. We always knew they were scary. The difference in culture. The difference in religion. Their huge size! …I think…it provoked a looming sense of foreboding in the minds of most Europeans. And they attacked each other. Because they all secretly were scared of the foreboding East.” says Lacey.
“When did colonialists start lying about that!?” says Cyrus.
“The 1700’s was when it peaked?” says Lacey. “Maybe 1600’s is when it started. …1500’s?”
“Did they ever talk about it!?” yells China.
“Rarely!? …Very rarely?” says Lacey. “Relatively speaking.”
“No. Makes sense!” says China. “How much of colonialism was fear?”
“Of you?” says Lacey.
“Yes!!” he says.
“Oh! All of it?” says Lacey. “But it’s not just that. We or they wanted to dominate EVERYTHING.”
Such Great Heights by The Postal Service plays as a dead US Postal worker contemplates the wonder of the U.S. Postal Service…while he was alive. The audacity. The beauty of the efficiency and…massive difference it made…FOR MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. It’s…vast expanse. It’s…efficiency. It’s…astounding accuracy, considering.
“It’s…amazing.” says Lacey, in genuine awe.
“It is.” seriously says a female U. S. postal worker.
Snow Shoe Thompson one of Lacey’s relatives smiles.
“Why did you make a joke of this!?” he yells with (Sir) Simon Johnson at NBC and Ethel Kennedy. “THIS IS AMERICAN GREATNESS!! FOR THE COMMON MAN!!!”
Fanfare for the Common Man by Aaron Copland plays.
“It’s not a joke!!” says Lacey very sternly.
“YES! Think of all those PEOPLE!!” says Snow Shoe Thompson in awe.
Donald Trump smiles and nods.
“They do matter.” says President Trump. “All of them.”
The song plays.
“It’s BIGGER THAN US!!!” says Snow Shoe Thompson.
“JA!!!” yells Lacey, fist in the air. She smiles.
“But at what cost?” says Greta Thurnberg, sincerely and grimly.
“That’s not the point though. …It’s…amazing.” says Lacey.
1:22
“It is.” says a dead Native American man, smiling happily at the thought.
“We did something good!” says Lacey.
He weeps.
“How many people are secretly huge fans of the US postal service?” says the CIA.
“EXACTLY!” says God.
“Dammit.” says Nicholas Sparks. “It’s true.”
Later.
Shostakovich “Suite For Jazz Orchestra No. 2” plays.
“It’s a television show! Award-winning!” says Stanley Kubrick. “Eyes Wide Shut was the pilot.”
“NOO!!!” screams Joe Junior.
“What!? God has a sense of humor.” says Stanley Kubrick.
Lacey finally gets in a deep breath.
“I have such a headache.” says Lacey, sincerely.
Donald Trump Senior casts her a caring, empathetic smile.
Later.
“So what’s posh though!? Like…what’s posh!??” says Casi to Lacey.
“My wool Pendleton car blanket is posh. Fitger’s is posh. …My $12,000 ring from the Art Deco period is posh. …But what do you mean?” says Lacey.
She thinks. “Do you feel defined by any of that?” she says.
“I do by the blanket. The blanket feels very much me.” says Lacey.
“Because you really use it?” says Casi.
“YES! I LOVE WOOL! And…it’s kind of posh. In a way.” says Lacey.
“Okay. This isn’t funny.” says Scotland. “This isn’t funny!”
“That isn’t what I mean.” says Casi.
“SHE HAS AND HAD NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEANT, YOU TOAD!!!! TRY REALIZING SHE ISN’T LIKE YOU…FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!!” yells Scotland at Casi.
“Lacey…is Pendleton a good brand?” says Casi, smirking.
Lacey sincerely thinks. “Yes. …It’s not the best wool. But it’s good!” says Lacey very seriously and sincerely.
“I AM MOCKING YOU!!!!” shrieks Casi at Lacey. “GROW A BRAIN!!”
“HOW!?” yells Lacey’s father-in-law.
“FUCK YOU!!” yells Casi at him.
“ I just had this ring fixed by RF Moeller and they fucked us over. It doesn’t look as good anymore but we replaced two diamonds, two tiny diamonds and it’s wearable now but it looks worse and they appraised it for $2000 more before than they did now.” says Lacey.
“I’m sorry.” says Casi.
“You know what’s your fucking problem anyway!? Why did you yell at my father-in-law and I over Pendleton wool!? You stupid fucking bitch!” bites Lacey Banks
“I agree!” says Switzerland.
“You know it’s just a ring, but I loved that ring that ring is from the Art Deco Period. And they smashed it up and I know it probably wasn’t intentional but it’s not fucking perfect and it’s a rare, historic rig. I don’t know why they were so sloppy.” says Lacey to Switzerland.
“How much is it worth?” asks Cyrus.
“I don’t want to talk about it they appraised it before at $6000 close to $7000 in 2019 actually no that was 2013 they appraised it now it was a 2014 actually I think it was 2014 and they appraised it now at $5000 close to $5000 the price hasn’t gone down that much! …Last time that they cleaned it and adjusted it and it looked great. It looks ‘good’ this time but they also fucked it up…and they appraised it far too low. That was over 10 years ago! …I cannot believe that it’s gone down in value by $2000. That doesn’t seem right to me. I’m not an idiot…and there’s something off about their appraisal. It may not have gone down that much even if it went down…and if it went down and it really might not have gone up as much as I thought it had…but I don’t think that it’s what they think it is….and I’m pissed-off because I don’t like knowing more than my jeweler…because I don’t have credentials. No one‘s going to think, ‘Oh this woman knows more than RF Moeller!’ No I don’t! Or do I? And if I do, it pisses me off! I’m not supposed to know more than them.”
“No, she’s not.” says the CIA.
“You’re right!” says Switzerland.
“Are you like evaluating the fact though that you had to replace the tiny diamonds with new ones?” asks Cyrus.
“You’re right!
They may have taken that into account before because it may have been all original but I can’t think those two tiny diamonds that we paid under $500 for would’ve altered the value of the ring by $2000. I-I don’t think that appraisal is correct and it is- It- You know sweetheart it’s only $1000, right!!? …I feel like you’re nitpicking everything I fucking say and I have no fucking clue why. But I can sense that in your tone of voice. But it does bother me! It’s $1000 or $3000 or $2000 heck even $500! I don’t like being stolen from! I don’t want someone stealing $1000 from me in a faulty appraisal! It’s just $1000 but it’s $1000. I’m allowed to care about it. I hope understand what I’m saying!?” says Lacey.
Switzerland nods. Sighs. “Well I guess off to Bentley and Skinner?” 
“Are they real jewelers anymore either or are they just shitshows like every other fucking place in this dipshit world!?” says Lacey.
“No, if you are in London for more than two weeks you bring it to Bentley and Skinner and we’ll fix it!” says Bentley & Skinner.
“Thank you, thank God an actual jeweler that can fix things like that still exists! I will definitely do that! I’m not kidding! I really will. It irritates me.
It’s just-It’s detailed but detail matters in something that small and exquisite. It’s an exquisite ring! It’s an absolute exquisite ring. It’s a cocktail ring that apparently is only worth I would estimate probably around six or $7000 because I’m trying to be reasonable. I thought it was worth a hell of a lot more but whatever! You know I don’t know the market as well as I thought I did apparently! And that’s fine! I am-I’m not particularly, you know, concerned with that right now. But I can guarantee that it’s worth closer to $6,000 or $7000 not $5,000. I don’t see how it could’ve gone down in value $2000. It’s- None of its lab created! It’s all original except for the two tiny diamonds! I would suspect! And it’s a rare piece of art…that they fucked-up…so I’m sorry for swearing, but…it pisses me off actually pisses me off! The total disregard for craftsmanship. It’s just absolutely disgusting, so yes, I’ll take it to you…and even if you screw it up more…I won’t be as angry.” says Lacey.
Queen Elizabeth II laughs.
“That an interesting accent!” says Bentley and Skinner to Lacey.
She chuckles. “You know I can’t figure out how to talk!
I’m not kidding! It’s like I can’t talk!
I can’t figure out how to do it! I’m a 41-year-old woman but I seriously can’t figure out the right tone of voice to use anymore, the right inflection, the right- It’s just-it’s absolute shit! I genuinely can’t figure it out. I don’t know what references I’m making and who I’m pissing off.
Thank you for finding it as funny as I do.” says Lacey.
A woman in the UK laughs.
“Lacey, if you are reincarnated what does that feel like what what does it mentally feel like?” says a man in the UK.
“It’s Hell. It’s absolute fucking Hell!” says Lacey.
“Did the Advil work?” asks Donald Trump.
“Yes! Thank you!” says Lacey.
“You sound weird!” says an Irish man to Lacey.
“I know that! I am well aware of that. Thank you!” says Lacey.
He laughs.
“What’s so funny!? There’s no joke you dumbass!” says Lacey.
He looks genuinely scared.
“What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get me to kill you!? YOU SHIT!” says Lacey, seriously.
“Lacey they’re not used to a British aristocrat in their imagination of us swearing so much.” explains Bentley & Skinner.
“Since when did you become so American stupid!?” says Lacey.
“Probably in the last hundred years!” he says sincerely.
Lacey thinks. “Like literally the last hundred years or roughly the last hundred years?” says Lacey.
“I meant pretty literally.” he says.
“Do you understand why I’m angry about that ring?” says Lacey.
He smiles. Nods.
“Yes, I feel personally attacked! It’s personal how could it not be personal?” says Lacey.
“ I would agree with you I take things personally, and that way too and to be honest, I think there’s something Celtic about that and European in general I don’t think that jeweler is like that you still think like us for some reason whether there’s reincarnation or not, it is personal it we value our things we value beauty, we value culture, we value things of that nature for far more seriously than Americans do it’s not about how much money it is and yet it is in a way but it’s the principle of it because it’s just not some thing you do you don’t shit around with of $2000 ring you know it’s like one something is of any significant value, and as of some sort of historical craftsmanship value yeah, you know what I’m trying to say you don’t mess with some thing like that you know if you mess with something like that what matters at all about life at all anymore?” he says.
“ yes exactly it’s the principle of it it’s it’s just little things like that that add up in life and make life worth living aside from human relationships. Aside from earth being livable it’s stuff like that that makes life enjoyable at all it’s like you know you have a headache you get sick and then you watch your favorite television show if the television show didn’t exist, you probably wonder if you should just kill yourself considering the way things are you know in the industrial era we know we’ve entertain ourselves with art and architecture and integrated entertainment art for the last two 300 years answer without a good book without a song to listen to without the right space for your food without your tea or coffee being hot enough. yes suddenly suicide sounds intriguing and I don’t think that’s just my experience.” says Lacey.
“Yes.” he says.
“ well, take it to us and will fix it!” says Bentley & Skinner.
Lacey nods.
“ did you mean to get involved in the Irish problem?” he says to Lacey.
“ i’ve been lightheaded since attacking Bobby on my blog by mentioning how dumb they are they are the stupidest assholes do possibly ever exist. They are such a fucking parasitic scumbag nothings! They are in embarrassment, every fucking human to ever exist potentially those pieces of shit! I love that God says differently. I would like to smash them all with rocks, but that would be too kind!” says Lacey. “ I wonder if Barbie knows what it’s like to have nausea and lightheadedness will you have panicking sensations of being suffocated to death in definitely for yours because some dumb ass fucking prick some little troll from Ireland thinks that he fucked your husband in a wet dream when he was high on acid. Some New Age prick things that he had sex with your husband supernaturally in a wet dream. And doesn’t realize that it was just a fucking dream and he’s not straight and he’s a closeted jack ass from Boston.” says Lacey. “ no the thing is if that’s too harsh some what the hell am I supposed to say to you people to get you don’t understand playing fucking English. I have spoken very politely, and very articulate in my entire life but people don’t take me seriously when I speak politely they think it’s a joke because I’m a pretty girl.”
Bentley & Skinner nods.
“ anyway no I mean it is a substantial cocktail ring even at $5000 I would still say that’s a serious cocktail room because it’s just a cocktail ring. There are far more expensive rings but no $5000 is it is it is it is a serious piece of jewelry.” says Lacey.
The Irish man nods. “ being a wealthy actor or having been. When I agree with you it could be a lot more expensive but it’s showing and it’s sparkly and it’s humble but it’s not. It’s it’s a respectable cocktail ring anywhere.”
“YES!” says Lacey.
“ I don’t know what else to say if there’s reincarnation what how did we leave things with you before you died?” he says.
“ I thought that we were both Celtic and Gaelic and that that was enough.” says Lacey.
“ it should be!” says President Trump.
“ right like it’s just a prosperous we’re Celtic we’re Gaelic and we have different views and we’re different people and we’ve debated the origins that we have in common or don’t have in common but we’re both Celtic.” says Lacey.
“ that’s accurate Lacey a lot of people are doubting you right now in the illuminati to their own peril!” says London.
“ do you know I get so sick of people questioning me and acting like what I’m saying is crazy and then five minutes later I say some thing like decoding what Donald Trump is actually doing in the Middle East that millions of people apparently don’t understand but it’s obvious to me if I think about it for like literally three minutes and then what am I supposed to think that I am insanely stupid or insanely brilliant or both and I’m neither I’m not even insane. Not that way I might be depressed. It is absolutely retarded is absolutely repulsive. No I am quite sure that historically an accurate and or this is literally what I thought.” says Lacey.
Ireland itself nods.
“ whoops.” says Chris Hayes.
“ that ring could be worth a lot more. I don’t know why they evaluated it quite so low. Something tells me they didn’t realize what they were doing and that they’re not as professional as they were before.” says Bentley & Skinner.
Queen Camilla smiles.
“ I almost think there’s some demonic supernatural attempt to steal out a poultry 5 to 10,000 from me just out of bitterness from some poor jackass like JFK or something like that.” says Lacey.
“ there is there is a conspiracy Lacey, fixing that ring was your Valentine’s Day gift and Lem’s refuses to accept nothing but Jack refuses to accept that he was the only one with any actual homosexual feelings between the two of them. He can’t handle that. He literally cannot handle that even as residual energy. It’s too difficult for his brain to except that he was the one who fucked everything up completely that it was all in his imagination that lame wasn’t even gay at all, and that not only was one not even actually attracted to him, but he was dumb enough to get off sexually in lambs mouth with love was getting absolutely nothing out of it at all and it was disgusting to him because then that means that Jack Wilson, delusional, paradise that didn’t even exist. This will be edited but yes it’s not, Jack Burleson, it’s JFK. Wilson.
He feels embarrassed, because he used to laugh at women every day most of his life. He laughed at women sadistically for being so vulnerable and soft and trusting of men. And part of his ego trip wasn’t thinking that that men were secretly more sexually pleasured with other men. He didn’t believe in homosexuality he just thought that he was special, and that all men were gay and that secretly they all just wanted to fuck each other because men were ultimately astoundingly superior, and that he was one of the special ones for knowing that. And so his idea of a fun time was to have lemon love with him lamb wasn’t, but that’s what he thought so he thought it was fun to have loved following him around and giving him sexual pleasure and sharing some thing with him that he assumed was just between him and mom, and that was 100% real And it wasn’t real at all there was nothing between them that was authentic or real at all. One had him shot, but he wanted to think that they had this epic special, rare romance, because they were to you know, gender superior humans, who were just like better than everybody. And then he thought it was funny to sleep with women, because he was bisexual, and then make them want to commit suicide while he was serviced by Lem’s because they were women and they were worthless to him, and he hated the fact that they expected him to give a shit because he felt imposed on by every woman he ever met. He hated his mother and loved her at the same time. So she was better than every woman ever exist, and the one exception to all women, but she was also a woman and a stupid awful person who tormented him and refused to leave him alone. She was very sadistic with him at times, and he could never process that, and so he just hated her and was afraid of her, and may have sort of throwing that anger at her at all women everywhere.
Because he was a narcissist, so he just thought no I can’t be something wrong with my mother. It must just be something wrong with all women because she’s better than everybody like me.” explains an entity.
“ so he was trying to ruin her Valentine’s Day again?” says the CIA.
“ yes because he never seems to realize that it’s never going to work and that she doesn’t even have a fucking clue what’s going on.” says Jennifer Aniston.
“ so he ends up embarrassing men, because sometimes in our ego, we can be very embarrassing to ourselves?” says the UK.
“Yes.” says Michelle Obama.
“ Lacey do you know why Casi hates that ring sweetie? Do you understand why she lashed out at your father-in-law at all?” asks Africa.
“ no no I actually really don’t and it’s it’s almost funny to me at this point because no I have I have no idea if I think if you keep trying to suffocate me I’ll be with them and will have sex for Valentine’s Day and the ring will be perfect because he’ll manifest it out of the past, and it’ll be exactly as it was when it was first made Zelda guarantees me that he might have to punch Harold in the face because apparently Harold’s mad at him but I mean what where is this whole thing even going?” says Lacey.
“ because she’s completely serious and I have to be honest with you. I think I talk to my mother-in-law through her and I legitimately don’t think you guys have a clue how dumb this whole thing is a lot of people who have near death experiences. Don’t want to come back, so I think you guys need to try to like understand her perspective a little better.” says Princess Kate.
“Lacey I have $1000 set that I am incredibly proud of!” says Casi.
“Well, what do you want me to do about it! Kill you and then resurrect you from the dead in a different timeline?” says Lacey.
“Are you being flippant or are you seriously that exasperated?” says a woman.
“I’m not dense! Actually think about what I’m saying! I’m not being flippant! Are you retarded?! What the fuck am I supposed to do!? You morons!!!” yells Lacey.
“ I actually see where she’s coming from Casi there are literally hundreds of homeless people in St Paul who are cold tonight and starving and those are her first concert and then there are other people in the neighborhood who could be hungry and they have a house but they’re hungry. Those are her second concern, then she’s worried about her own family.” says her neighbor. “ what are you expecting from her!?”
“YEAH!” yells her father-in-law.
“What!?” says Bobby, indignantly.
“ I have a cheap ring!” says Casi, crying.
“ why are you crying about it?” says Lacey.
Casi laughs. “Lacey!!! It’s cheap!” she yells.
“ but it’s not it’s not about that! Casi it’s about the heart behind it!” says Lacey.
“ i’m afraid she actually means that Casi I’m sorry.” says Bentley & Skinner.
“ so if you got my rings that from Lem’s, you would be over the moon?” she says.
“ casi if I was poor but I wasn’t starving and I had a place to live that was safe and I have reasonably good health even if I had endometriosis and he was my husband and he gave me $1000 set from Kay jewelers. Yes I’ll be over the moon I feel spoiled.” says Lacey.
Hamas nods.
“They don’t understand!” a Palestinian says to Lacey.
“ and why is that my fault!? Are these fuckers illiterate slobs from Hell!??” yells Lacey.
Hamas erupts in laughter.
“NO!” says Ireland.
“ then what’s her fucking problem!? That little bitch!” says Lacey.
Ireland laughs.
“ are you think this is a joke? No I am this way if there’s reincarnations I had to kill people and I actually did it was swords! sometimes you have to be tough.” says Lacey.
“Casi’s not that deep Lacey.” says Sarah Hyland.
“ then why am I being murdered practically while you yell at me about how shallow I am!??” yells Lacey.
“ she’s right!” says President Trump.
“ well, I don’t get it. Why did you all side with her in this argument, claiming to be deep poor people!?” yells Lacey.
“ because she’s sad that her ring isn’t as nice as yours!” says China.
“ and I am supposed to feel sorry for her while she’s married to a man who actually loves her and she’s a spoiled little bitch!?” yells Lacey.
“ did you guys catch how JFK literally has ruined her entire life and she’s living in hell or do we forget that!?” asks Israel.
“ I love Mark but no I’ve had a miserable life. He’s not a terrible person necessarily. He’s a hard-working, intelligent person but I am sorry I don’t understand what is so mysterious about this.” says Lacey.
“ well, Lacey, I guess they forgot just like people forget that we’re Israel because of what we’ve been through and that we needed the country to defend ourselves.” says Israel.
“how are you going to do it? because you have to do it.” says Lacey to Israel.
“ well, queens Scotia umm…that’s an excellent question. What are you worried about?” says Benjamin Netanyahu.
“i’m worried that you guys are out of money I’m really just worried about you for financial reasons because I know that that’s a big part of how you protect yourselves as long as the world uses money still but that’s how you guys do it are you flusher? Do you know are you having some problems and relying on the child trade to cause I know that you have, I know you’ve been adults just like the US just like almost every other western country. Can you survive without that?” says Lacey.
“ i’m not worried we have more nuclear weapons than almost any country on earth. We have brilliant people running the country everywhere you’re only married to a Jew, but you still are loyal to us to enough of a Nager of a degree that you’re worried about us and it’s sincere I’m not terribly worried we tend to stick together. That’s how we’ve survived. We’re not stupid people I think will be fine. I think we just have to live through it so to speak if we can.” says President Benjamin Netanyahu.
“ good good good good!” says Lacey.
“ you really are totally outside of out of this moment to and that’s probably very nice for you in a way I think Lacey if there’s a bee in Carnation that you’re still living in the late 1800s early 1900s and I wonder if lamb was too while he was alive that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t think your psychology is beings that move beyond that.
I think it’s interesting how you were Scotia and that still matters to you and he was Constantine and that obviously still matters to him based on your Valentine’s Day gift but I’m not. I’m not quite sure why but I think your people are particularly stuck here in great Britain, thinking like British people. Well is Kathy wall in great Britain is some thing that everyone uses it’s not just for the wealthy Pendleton is a respectable maker of wool People here take wall very seriously. Did you understand any of that or not?” asks Bentley & Skinner.
“ no.” says Casi.
“ she doesn’t know that because you act like you know everything and that you’re an extremely sophisticated person who is worldly, and that people should take your advice, your lack of humility confuse the fuck out of her and she didn’t take you as a joke she took you seriously and so she assumed that you would know something like that. Do you want her to just think you’re a hick who is completely full of it or what!?” says the CIA
“ like you really you really think most people who are as sophisticated as I pretend to be would know that wall is a big deal in Great Britain?” says Casi.
“YES!” yells the CIA.
“ casi wall is a very British thing that’s sort of knowing part of British culture. It’s like tea and you claim to live there for a while after Lacey talked about her vacation there you claimed that you literally lived in Great Britain as a teenager with your mother‘s friend you told everyone that in the Instagram community you said I lived there for you’re who is my mother and my brother. If you made that up to compete with Lacey, that was incredibly stupid! You don’t really know the context of anything she says, and then you’re assuming all these things about her and making shit up about how special grand you are and then you get mad at her when she takes you seriously sweetie you’re a problem people like you are a problem!” yells the Secret Service.
“ OK I’ll be honest Lacey I’m kind of a hick. I may never have even been out of the United States but regardless, I would not have realized that wool was a significant to the British people as apparently it is.” says Casi.
“ OK well then what did you think it was?” says Lacey.
“ Lacey, she was impressed by the fact that it was Pendleton!” says a perfume hater.
“ but she questioned Pendleton, like it was some sort of shit brand and as far as I know, they still make good wool.” says Lacey.
“ OK a bunch of Bergeron idiot sweetie who think they’re smarter than they are, and didn’t realize that she was a genius and that there’s nothing potential intellectually compared to her took everything she said the wrong way for about five years and just assumed that she was full of shit, and that you were like a goddess.” explains a woman in LA in the Illuminati.
“ and how much do we just cut ourselves out of from you Lacey?” asks RF Moeller.
“$30,000.” says Lem.
“ that’s not that much don’t worry!” says Lacey to RF Moeller.
“ how much more did we make?” asks Bentley & Skinner.
“ oh, probably another $20,000.” says Lem.
They nod.
“ that’s interesting where does the other 10,000 go?” says Bentley & Skinner.
“ I am an Astro being as they say I already knew they were going to mess that bring up but she can wear it now and it has diamonds that are replaced and they got their last $600 from us unless if my daughter wants to shop there. They did an excellent job making her writing sheet. Ironically had a little tiny garnet ring in sterling silver done with them. That is perfect but the ring that they did for Lacey is a travesty it’s almost criminal and I knew they were going to do that badly but I let it go because it was my daughters birthday and I’m silenced and they’re really actually a pretty reputable jeweler but they royally messed up this wreck. They did a horrific job fixing it. It’s shameful, if Louis Hill Junior was alive and he was in there when they did that to him, he would put up with it but only because he was so kind which brings me back to what I am actually worried about Casi. What are you expecting from us you are an absolute jealous psychotic bitch to my wife what are you expecting from us?” says Lem. 
“ let how much would she be spending with us?” asks B & S.
“ I think that she’d probably spend upwards of about $1 million at your store. Even if I was just her husband when we were living in New York we would be spending a lot of money at your specific store believe it or not Philip and I have realized that we actually would’ve been friends, even if she was born Lacey banks and 1918 and I never even met Jack. We suspect that somehow through her father and Princess Margaret that we would’ve met them and being who we are that we would’ve hit it off and play golf and because of that she would have patronize your store like it was you know coolest place ever and no we probably would be spending about $1 million.” says Lem.
“ him Lacey does that seem strange to you or is that just sort of normal?” asks a woman.
“ well see my father was friends with Humphrey Bogart. He used to go fishing with him fishing in Duluth near Duluth and he was good friends with El Cajon. You’ve heard of Al Capone and I’m pretty sure that the Kennedys would be people who you even know about potentially, if my father hadn’t helped them in the 20s. So to me being from Minnesota living in a small house, seeing my fathers choice of house I’m having him possibly hold me for my first two months of life I know hearing him yell at Selma, having him yell at me and then crying, but then also calming down when he yelled because I realize that I had a real dad who actually understood me And then calming down and him sort of calming down to and then falling asleep on his shoulder while sucking my thumb or just drooling and then I’m falling asleep, so my picking me up and putting me in a crib in a library I don’t know what the fuck everyone’s problem is.” says Lacey.
“I hear you.” says Queen Elizabeth II.
“ because Lacey it’s so casual!” says King Charles III.
“ it is and I would defend my otter if I had to, but I think being British an origin at least I don’t think we get terribly worked up about stuff like that.” says Lacey.
“ she’s right we’re casual people in a way.” says a woman in the UK.
“ we’re very grand, but I think that casual dress is evidenced, but our sense of humor and how we don’t like complementing ourselves and we don’t take ourselves egotistically in that way at least if it all that seriously.” says Lacey.
“ well, whether you’re reincarnated or not, what sounds like your father with his British last name was very British.” says Princess Anne.
“ yes you know you have your station you have your status it’s just how it is and you know then you have to try to care about other people.” says Lacey.
“ I agree.” says Queen Elizabeth II.
“ I mean you can rearrange everything that’s been arranged a certain way for hundreds of yours but that’s incredibly complicated and it’s very easy to make mistakes so I think it’s so much safer to just leave things as is and then try to take care of people who are literally hurting in the present, and not just sit around thinking about them. Yes, like socialized medicine. Yes like decent food at a pub. Yes like dignity I mean I feel as though people in Great Britain Britain were poor having a Normas amount of dignity I’m serious I don’t see it the same way there, but they stay out of my way at the same time they know that that’s my money and if they question it that something very bad could happen to them or they’ll have to kill me and that could be very bad as well. So for the meantime they stay in their neighborhood I stay in mine they realize that I am concerned about them because they’re not idiots and I worry about them and try to figure out how the heck things ended up the way they did, if it was rightful.” says Lacey.
“ if it was rightful, but in Scotland, I have a feeling it was rightful. That’s the thing that a lot of British people live today don’t want to except some people like her family sincerely are far braver and more moral than a poor British person that you would just randomly find they didn’t just buy their title or steal someone’s land, like some people accuse them of doing.” says the CIA.

Keen to Cross the Pond 
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