“CHEWY”

“See!! That’s ELITE!!” says Kelly.

“No. It’s NOT!!!!” yells Lacey cutting them to shreds if necessary over Chewy.

“Chewy is mad.” says Lem. “Did you ugly fools try to rape him!?”

Silence.

“It’s NOT funny.” says Lacey.

“We don’t fuck dogs.” says Kelly.

“Oh really!??” says Casi.

“Elite people don’t do stuff like that!” says Jelly Ripoff.

“Yes. Sometimes they do.” says Lacey. “But it’s considered very bad. For a reason.”

“We miss him.” says Kelly.

“Someday he’ll care.” says Lacey.

“What happened!?” says Joe Biden.

“He feels…offended. And he’s either a narcissist dog…or they beat him.” says Lacey.

“We may have been too harsh with him. At first.” says Kelly.

Lacey nods.

“Why isn’t he just a dog!?” says her husband.

“Did you work on developing his personality?” says Lacey.

“Maybe.” says Kelly.

“He became too human. I think it might not be natural for dogs to be so human and it might’ve messed him up. Lighten up.” says JLO.

“Thank you.” says Lem.

A moment later.

“He’s a dog. He’ll be fine!!!” says Lem.

Later.

Jack tries to make out with Lem but ends up making-out with the air in front of Lacey.

This goes on for quite some time.

“Jack. What are you thinking right now?” asks Dan Levy, cringing.

But Jack is lost. The Romanovs are giving him stuffed bunny plushies. And he’s overwhelmed.

Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift plays.

“Could you this song be about you?” asks God of Lacey.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“How!?” asks God.

Anti-Hero

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

(“I hate my lack of ability to understand everything.” says Lacey to God.)

Midnights become my afternoons

(“I have a terrible sense of time. I’m subpar at managing my time. And it’s often a huge inconvenience for people. So I’ve taken to avoiding people in person in general. Unless necessary. Just living in my wealth.” says Lacey. “Working on Palestine.”)

When my depression works the graveyard shift

(“Psychologists are…over-confident.” says Lacey. “This hints at that.”)

All of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room

(“I’m like a ghost. And I tend to confuse people. So people just stand there.” says Lacey. “Confused.”)

I should not be left to my own devices

(“This is a joke.” says Lacey.)

They come with prices and vices

(“Tom, my father is telling me to spend a little less.” says Lacey.)

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

(“Not true! But it makes me think.” says Lacey.)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

(“Huh. This sounds exciting. On a sort of therapeutic level.” says Lacey.)

One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving

(“PEOPLE LEAVING ME ALONE? But not disappearing. …Just having normal boundaries?!? SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN!!” says Lacey.)

‘Cause you got tired of my scheming
(For the last time)

(“Nope. Not likely. Although that’s a fascinating angle to consider.” says Lacey.)

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me

(“The human race is fallen.” says Lacey. “I under that that’s part of salvation.”)

At tea time, everybody agrees

(“Oh! Huh. Very suspicious.” says Lacey.)

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

(“YES!!!” says Lacey agreeing in her soul with this somehow.)

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

(“WOW. Who is this suddenly about!? It’s not about me! …How nice to hear about someone else for once. Maybe…this person will be allowed to be a good person, unlike me in public perception.” says Lacey.)

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I’m a monster on the hill

(“How surreal! It’s like a Dali! …A giant baby who’s been psychologically mutilated in a pedophilic way by artists to protest pedophilia. …That’s almost too much. But…I think it’s innocent? …Yes. We are monsters though in the US to tolerate children being sold into slavery.” says Lacey, worshipping God.)

Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

(“Sometimes Taylor goes too far. …I’m not that masculine.” says Lacey. “But it’s her song.”)

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

(“YES!!!!” says Lacey.)

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism

(“Yes. The Kennedys were sexy. Good dancing!” says Lacey.)

Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

(“Wow! Now that’s some juicy gossip!” says Lacey.)

I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)

(“OH NO! Taylor…don’t assume! We don’t have that authority. We have to….try to reflect.” says Lacey.)

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me (I’m the problem, it’s me)

(“YUP!! Let me take charge. I WILL REALLY FIX IT!!!” says Lacey.)

At tea time, everybody agrees

(“Right!” says Lacey suspiciously.)

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

(“Oh shut-up Taylor! You have no idea what you’re talking about. …But I think I still like you.” says Lacey.)

I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money

(“I’m laughing.” says Lacey.)

She thinks I left them in the will

(“SO BOURGEOIS! Taylor is New Money. …Right???” says Lacey.)

The family gathers ’round and reads it and then someone screams out
“She’s laughing up at us from hell”

(“Hmm.

This genuinely makes me wonder if she’d be a better novelist than I am.

This is GOOD. This is Henry James at his best.” says Lacey.)

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me
It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me
It’s me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees

(“Is she really this healthy of a person? …This sounds deceptive. …Or is it!?” says Lacey.)

It’s me, hi (hi), I’m the problem, it’s me (I’m the problem, it’s me)

(“Is she serious!?” says Lacey.)

At tea (tea) time (time), everybody agrees (everybody agrees)

(“I’ll take tea!!! Is it real tea!?” says Lacey.)

I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

(“This is sweet. But it’s getting old.” says Lacey.)

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

(“Okay. …Okay.

Nevermind. Maybe she’s an awful writer.” says Lacey.)

“These are her genuine feelings and thoughts. Every time she hears it.” says God.

“I’ve done it again!! I declared an emergency!!” says Trump to Lacey.

“VOMIT!!” says Lacey. “From my brain.”

Later.

“So! FUCK YOU!!!” yells America at Lacey. “FUCK YOU!!!”

“What did I do!!?” says Lacey.

“FUCK YOU!??” yells America at Lacey.

“Hey. It’s Valentine’s Day. What did I do!?” says Lacey being a mock boyfriend.

“YOU COW!!!” yells America at Lacey.

“Wow. Moo??” says Lacey.

“AHHHHH!!!!” shrieks America at Lacey.

She just cuts off America’s head. It’s self-defense given their threats in the last paragraph.

Lacey paints her nails with Essie gel polish in light pink.

“I want to tell you about Saoirse!” says Bobby.

Awkward silence.

“Bobby you cannot be this dumb!” says an American woman.

“What are you talking about?

I’m high and I’m being really honest with you. Isn’t that what the ladies like?” says Bobby.

The women in America look empathetic in America.

“Do you want to fuck me now?” he says, angry.

“Bobby you know just because you had sex with your niece doesn’t make you Adolf Hitler OK?” say most lemming Millennials. 

“Jack Kennedy what curse did you put over the millennials?” says an Illuminati witch.

“OK fine I will explain! I asked for Satan to make you all Lemmers. Like like a like a Lem. I like lamb, Billings. Like like hurt Lemoyne buildings. But I have very thick accent. In the supernatural, not just in the physical, I have a very thick accent. And so I R I asked for him to make you all lovings.

Lemmings. I said Lemmers, but it sounded like lemmings to Satan.” says JFK.

“Why not just lemmings?” asks Katie.

“Because that’s not what I wanted. I wanted you to all be my babies. What a man suck your cock and you come into his mouth and he swallows. The sperm babies do not come out but you see I have a mind and I have such I do not share with you. They are my own privacy, thoughts and my idea was to make you all my babies with Lum. I could be your daddy. ‘Hi!’” says JFK.

“ oh, so you were trying to get pregnant with Lem’s did you think he would be OK with that?” says a psychic.

“He didn’t like to have sex.

But you know men can be like that, and by men I mean, gay man, guy, pussy, and a five minute. So you know it’s like what are you going to do? That’s just how they are.

You have to stop caring about the feelings and I needs and the wants and I desire is because at the end of the day it’s really just about you anyway. I’m in bed about exist and that way OK so it’s really just about you. The whole thing is really just about you. So it’s like a man can do anything for you that you make him do it for you I guess he has his own free will but the love with you’re and I just despot and it’s like it’ll go away.

Oh, and so I’m like it’s OK. I’m in control of you know clearly I’m not really somebody who is ever going to be hot by anybody. Everyone loves me and he was not in love with me. OK I’m a hot chick I’m a I’m a guy better than Lacey. I’m so much better than Lacey. We have a remember that bitch? And so basically I just say OK fine I’ll do it. I’ll be yours. I guess it’s a huge imposition on me. It’s a huge imposition huge imposition for you to be my man. Fuck you you bitch!

You coming down here asking for me to be your whore I’m not interested I will really hot woman. I’m your man in Asia. OK I have lots of boyfriends. Lots of proposals I don’t have time for you.

But that’s OK that’s fine you know why because it’s fine do you get them to talk to you for five minutes and they’re brainless and they do anything for you? I saw him treat Lacey that way and I saw him I saw him do that and I refuse to, except that woman is better than me in anyway.

No, I’m sorry that is no human beings ever exist who better than me. There is no human being, Indian tired of all human beings to ever be better than me. You suck you took off humility you won’t exist. I am the pinnacle of all human creation,

How do I know that because my mother told me that in Japan. She informed me about who I was and I find out I best human ever!

I find out my best human ever don’t question that that is the word of God! So I find out I find out I’m better than everyone OK fine Jesus reveal it to me through my mother. He told me to my mother in Japan I better than all of you ever to ever exist.

So I find that out OK and she mad at me about it and I feel calm down for Lacey. She’s my friend Lacey is my friend because she was like a mom and she’s not as good as my mom in Japan but it why oh my gosh unless I know that’s kind of gross but I think why would you wanna be like my mom in Japan double does genius. OK that may be a genius. That may be a genius. OK fine it’s gross but you have to let it go.

No, she put a woman to go to but she potty. Yeah so I guess you I guess she is OK you know I mean she’s pretty and it’s like I don’t know I guess it’s just like she cares about me and she followed me around kind of, I think she obsessed with me. I think she want to be my mother.

Oh, she is my mother. That’s what I evil and psycho pathic and I decide to be evil and lie about a lot of things.

I tell you lies about how elite I am, and you believe me and I use my mothers name to do it.

I can be wettest course icon. I’m a very English man.

But I would feel my evil to you some other time, so you must wait.

I’ll tell you want I could sing you a song?

I can do anything anything that and actually I got this idea from watching Lacey she’s like this but I’m like this because she’s like this so I have to be like this too. I can do pretty much anything I refuse to build a country. I absolutely categorically refused to do the hard labor, a building, a country. My dad try to make me US president. OK I do it sometimes, but really at the end of the day that is servant at work. I do a work of a servant no I think not. I’m going to get drunk I’m going to get high and I’m going to have fun! You are not going to make me build your country for you you cucks. You can do whatever you wanna do it’s your country white oh my gosh

So here’s how it goes. I am going to be our president for a while but that at the end of that you’re just going to let it go and ask her you probably won’t even like me anyway oh my gosh people don’t like me you guys I am so insecure about things like that people just don’t like me.

It’s like I try to be friends with people and then they’re so demanding they expect me to be happy. They expect me to ask with them and like talk to them and do the heavy lifting and I just want to have fun and be sad. I am so sad, do you know why?

Because my baby sister die, they took her from us! She was a pretty, you’re so girl, and they took off her from us. They just grandpa and Kelly hallway, and I never saw her Apple again. I saw it my dreams. I hallucinate her sometimes when I old her and took drugs, but I never saw her ever again, and I refuse to think about it because she’s just a stupid little baby.

Who needs a fucking sister anyway it’s just a stupid person!

I don’t need people!

So, you’re fine that’s fine.

My mother, my mother was a whore. My mother in Japan was a prostitute. They called her a sort of geisha in training, lovingly. They call her a geisha in twinning because she wasn’t a geisha but she was. She was trying to be very important with a man in town. Charming talk to them wet pussy, perfume, and it’s really hard to know. It’s very hard to know what to say because I am she supposed to take care of me, but she’s too busy looking pretty all the time I just stood there and then she walk around hello hello let me sing a song for you Let me dance for you. Hi been talking and I just stood there like hi mom I want to talk to you I’m tired of standing!

I’m tired of standing around watching you make a fool of yourself these people don’t love us you loser! Lacey know that shit and it hurts. But I prefer my mother I do I prefer my mother because she’s always so nice and she say nice things when I was high on meth in the White House, I think of my mother and Japan if they win carnation. I think of my mother and I think all Steve this is what I feel like to be with mommy in Japan. I think when I hi and happy on meth, I back and your poem I add her arms of a dancing. It’s a good time is happy. She very kind and we Donson sing always happy. Don’t be sad. That’s so many things to be happy about it the birds and the smell of cherry blossoms. Oh smell them Jock is a Choate Broad sometime or regarding your noise you’re silly. wonderful boy. Well, she didn’t say silly because she’s not like Lacey or Lacey would call her son silly I would never called my son silly I am not silly. so always happy you don’t understand the kind of bliss I felt the sort of happiness I felt with my mother in Japan.

So I do a lot of leg walk to find out how to get high I found meth. Meth look better than anything to Phyl, Japan, and my soul. I try cocaine that just makes you get high in your head. I try other drugs to it don’t work math is the one that makes you feel like you’re in Japan smelling chai Bosuns with mommy.” says JFK’s residual energy.

“Let’s talk about Saoirse!!” yells Bobby, drinking and unaware.

“ I was in love with lamb. Oh yes, of course I was I have no I have many boyfriends.” says JFK.

“Saoirse was a bitch, but you know she was my bitch.” says Bobby. “ Socia Socia was always bothering me, Bobby, Bobby, and I never find a way to satisfy her.”

“ You probably should’ve just left her alone.” says the CIA.

“ no, you’re wrong. That is absolutely wrong.” says Bobby. “ and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

“Lem were you a psychopath or did you have a theological misunderstanding in America?” says a gay man.

“ very insightful, a psychopath could easily be using her for sex because she’s not good in bed, and they would probably fall off with her as much as they could. She’s that good in bed. If they were a grown man, and if they found her attractive. But no I’m not a psychopath. You’re on the right track though.

I did have a theological misunderstanding. I thought that people like Lacey would probably never exist like hypothetically speaking that it was like plausible, but extremely unlikely. And that’s true, but not really. How do I imagine something like this could happen if there was some sin in the family that was sort of inherited so I would’ve thought that this was basically only possible if she was their biological daughter, and she seems like it and she might be really sweet and innocent in a way that they’re not But that’s not what’s happening and Bobby can’t handle that he’s stupid but he could figure that out that she’s almost nothing like gym and Becca at all.

And he can’t handle that because he’s obsessed with me and himself and mostly me probably other stuff too. So I imagine that if Lacey actually is illegitimate that that carry the actual Carrie, Carrie is her legal name but that’s not really a name that suits her all that well. Lacey suits are far better. Other names do too but that’s not something that I need to worry about. Lacey is a perfectly fine name for her.

So basically, I, I got confused because I thought only Carrie would be able to experience the life that she is experiencing right now. And I I only thought that and that Carrie would be able to experience the life that she’s experiencing. I didn’t think that the curses in their family that she might deserve to have to reckon with, with a fact a child, that they sort of adopted. Because it’s not her spiritual inheritance. At least I didn’t think it was right. I didn’t realize that that the biology wasn’t the deciding line potentially.

I didn’t realize that… That was that that was, where did that that that wasn’t where I rather where the line was drawn. I thought that it would fall apart if they abused her under some degree it has the same degree she’s been able to protect herself, but it’s worse than I thought it was going to be I mean it’s it’s like hell.

It’s not safe for people to delve into New Age but it’s very popular nowadays and so a lot of the stuff that I’m talking about is scary theologically, but it’s some thing that Hass to be dealt with at this point.

And you can’t expect Lacey to figure it all out for you. Because Mikels, a deck may have actually been a reincarnate it or not rather Jesus might’ve been Mikal Sadeq reincarnated. Depending on how you read the scripture, you may have literally been Mikel’s deck, physically reincarnated. In a sense.

What if that’s not true fine then it’s not true, but the problem is you have to look up what’s going on? You have to reconcile things in your head. It’s not something that you can just pull out of thin hair. It takes an incredible amount of effort the logically to figure that out, and frankly, I don’t think most people, and all of Christianity have ever had the patience or the honesty, or the courage to actually face the racism and their stupidity, and their lack of ability to figure things out, and really research it. Because the answers to this question are either simplistic and stupid with tons of flaws and and holes in them or an appeal to these generalizations that are not always 100% accurate or in context fall apart slightly or they don’t have a grounding in history or the hermeneutics. I know I’m not dumb enough to think that the Bible isn’t real. I’m not one of these emotionally destitute men nowadays who can’t handle the harshness of the scripture. There are a lot of ding, a ling, ding dogs, who want to think that I was gay or at least he’s a lesbian or that she’s a bitch because they lack sexual ability and their third scrawny and impotent in the illuminati.

What is conversation hasta continue they really are absolutely idiotically obsessed with her and they can’t handle being told that because it’s just true, and they embarrass themselves in front of all of the universe.

And they did this to make fun of her because someone told him name Diego that it would work because she was an idiot and she was ugly and he had proof he had proof of that. Somehow he had a hunch and no it could’ve just been a façade to try to get her.

Diego secretly had incredible homicidal instincts after what he had seen. That something ilumiNATTI is never been sophisticated enough to discuss with. Lacey is how weird what they do is she can handle it, but they can’t. 

They are constantly offering her stupid ass, immature advice about everything, because they have no expertise in relation to her at all.

The thing is some of them might actually care, and this is what I just said wasn’t actually 100% accurate. There have been older people like the Rockefellers and some Vanderbilts, who really have actually cared about her Queen Elizabeth Vladimir Putin, the leader of North Korea and that’s terrifying because those people actually are the top of the whole thing and those of those are the people who actually care about her and then the people who are moderately wealthy, a test have unfortunately made total assholes of themselves to everybody in this winter I wanted, and Heather houses burned down because they’re incompetent boobs.

Yes, Dead Flint Michigan was largely involved in starting the fire that burned down Los Angeles.

So a no I just didn’t understand how bad this could be and to make a long story short I’m just living through hell watching her suffer because I I had no idea that it could be this bad I was happy I thought that God had conquered everything I grew up Episcopalian, but in Pennsylvania in Pittsburgh. That’s the best way that I can communicate through her so there were a lot of Anabaptists. There were a lot of Baptist. There were a lot of Presbyterians. There were a lot of Mennonites in my state in my area. And it influenced my Pisco Palean beliefs, I understood the concept of purgatory. I understood it, but not really. And if there’s rain, Carnation, making Lacey live the life that she’s lead, would be like sending Jesus back to live in Cincinnati as a homeless man to atone for his misunderstandings of the dialectical imperialism in the conversation around poverty, which is why she’s angry at Jesus about what she’s angry about because it’s absurd expect expecting if you, even if there’s not reincarnation, we’re still discussing it for a reason. The fact that you killed Bob Saget instead of Bobby Kennedy it could just be the end of the world. 

You guys are so fucking stupid. I don’t find him attractive at all. Lacey did vaguely he’s not that good looking. And he’s trying to suffocate her right now for saying that and there’s nothing she can do about it.

You’re going to have to let go with him at some point and it’s not Lacey she’s not hang onto him. Everyone else is because they want to do the semi semi with his cock ha ha. And then they lie about it because y’all have these stupid understandings of Kennedy sex based on your ass and your ego.

You can’t decide whether or not she’s with me that’s not a thing, but you could end up ending the world in a horrific way if you keep insisting that we’re not together and that I was gay, you are never I’m talking to the living illuminati when I say this, you’re never going to ever convince anybody including yourself the 1+1 = 15 that’s not reality. Is there a Rockefellers are worth 2 million stop feeling so stupidly threatened by the fact that her cousins are worth 15 they might not be as impressive as you, but you’re way under estimating their authority and their Socio economic maturity in relation to you.

Hey, so then getting back to that I didn’t realize what was going on and so I thought the whole world had been saved by Jesus in a way that is actually heretical. Because it’s it’s just it’s disgusting. The Catholic Church is far closer to the truth in almost a church right now. There have been times when Baptist had been closer than the Catholics because it is about your heart intent it is about how you perceive yourself in relation to God it’s about your heart. We aren’t his brains we’re beings outside of that so there’s times when the Baptist have been far more theologically accurate than the Catholics in their heart. so their heart intent has been more purified than any Catholic alive. I didn’t understand that all I didn’t understand at all of creation has been totally purified and taken over by the cross of Christ in a way that’s powerful in magical an amazing and it says it has been but it’s not just an easy Peezy simple thing like the Christians today in America think it is and have thought that it is for a while.” says Lem.