“Lacey here’s why Casi and her like hated you: You don’t seem like you have that much money.” she says.
Lacey stares at her.
“What does that mean to you?” asks Michael Rockefeller.
“I’m rich!” she says.
“Compared to me!?” he says.
“No.” she says. She throws her hands up in the air.
“Then what the hell…are you talking about?” says Michael.
“She’s really worth $2 million?” she says.
“YES.” says Michael.
She thinks. Covers her mouth. Closes her eyes.
“How much are you worth?” asks Matt.
“$600,000.00.” she says.
“How old are you!?!?” says Dr. Moritz.
“I’m in my 50’s.” she says.
“THAT ISN’T RICH!!” says Barbara Flouts.
“IT IS!” she shouts.
“NO! You’re CRAZY!!!” screams Barbara.
“Whatever.” she says.
Awkward silence.
“Is there anyone my age in your family as poor as me?” asks the woman.
“I DOUBT IT!!!” yells Barbara.
“No.” says Lacey.
She thinks. Laughs.
“What’s the base?” she says, rubbing her forehead.
“$3 million!!” says Tessa.
“So I’m like…so poor…to you people!?” she says.
Tessa nods.
“Do you have any fucking clue what this woman’s talking about?” says Lacey.
“I think she’s frustrated because she doesn’t know how to explain herself.” says Richard Simmons.
“What are you trying to explain?” says Lacey.
“You know I feel rich I think.” she says.
“Do you really?!” says Lacey.
“Yes!” she says.
“WHY!?” says Tessa.
“Because I can fly to Dubai for $4000 stay in an Airbnb for $700 with a Birkin and I know that you can’t.” she says.
“Actually, she probably could.” says Matt.
“I know.” says Barbara.
“What is the most expensive bag that you have?” she says to Lacey.
“A Launer Traviata that I purchased for over $3000.” says Lacey.
“Could you purchase something more expensive?” she asks.
“Yes.” says Lacey.
“You’re probably worried that I’m running out of money.” she says.
“You’re going to have to retire. What do you plan on doing killing yourself?” says Lacey.
She thinks. “When will I run out of money Lacey?” 
“How long do you think you can work?” says Lacey.
“Fuck you!!” she says.
Barbara laughs.
“No I’m serious. How long do you think you can work?” says Lacey.
“10 years!” she says.
“How good is your health?” says Lacey.
“Not very good.” she says.
“Then you’re probably going to have to kill yourself in your early 70’s.” says Lacey.
Putin laughs.
“You’re not gonna inherit any money.” she says.
“That’s very unlikely!” says Lacey.
“I mean, how much will you inherit?” she says.
Nancy cries.
“$400,000 to $500,000 at least.” says Lacey.
“So that’s your little nest egg, huh!?” she says.
“Well not really because I’m not able to invest it right now and it depends on what they do with oil. But I wouldn’t call it a nest egg, no it’s just an inheritance.” says Lacey.
“I was trying to insult you!” she says.
Putin laughs.
“I am sorry I am not in your head. What the fuck was the insult?” says Lacey.
“I think I was trying to say that you’re sleeping with your father but the thing is he’s not even your father and I don’t even think you’re sleeping with him and then it’s just stupid because I was trying to say something that I didn’t think you’d pick up on to be funny to myself and then it didn’t even work because it’s just total nonsense.” she says.
“Do you think I’m blind? Do you think I have no brain? What fucking world do you live in?” says Lacey.
“ I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” she says.
“Does my father seem like my type!?” says Lacey.
“I don’t know what your type is- How would I- I mean how should I- I mean no I don’t need to think about that with you.” she says.
“It’s pretty fucking obvious what her type is. Are you retarded?” says Michael Rockefeller.
“OK but why would I need to think about that she doesn’t have sex!” she says.
“What the hell gave you that idea!?” screams God.
“Because I am sexy not her.” she says.
“Based on what!?” says God.
“Is it the lack of like a living man to validate her is that it?” says Cyrus.
“Yes!!” she says.
“But that’s backward, that’s a backward thing!” says Barbara.
“Would it help if she posted pictures of her husband?” says Casi.
“NO!!” she screams.
Keen to Cross the Pond 