“The Clash” by Sadam Hussein

“You’re GAY!!” a gay man yells at Lacey.

“Why!?” asks the FBI.

He foams at the mouth. Literally.

“Oh my gosh.” says the FBI, shocked.

He starts crying. Falls to the ground.

“I have no idea what to say to this man.” says Lacey.

“Do you know why…he’s saying that!?” asks another gay man.

“No.” says Lacey.

“He’s gay.” he says, as if it’s somehow a huge revelation to have said that.

“What THE HELL…do you mean!?” says Lem.

“You’re supposed to be gay.” says one of them to Lem.

“Well I’m not. So…I guess you’ll have to try to exist without that.” says Lem.

One of them calms down and takes a deep breath.

“I’m not attracted to men.” says Lem.

“Then why is she bragging about Putin?” they say.

“SHE IS!? I am.” says Putin.

“She’s not a celebrity!!” says one of them.

“She’s extremely attractive.” says Putin.

One of them leaps at Putin. Trying to come on to him.

Putin has his guards fight them off.

“I wasn’t…bragging.” says Lacey.

Rock The Casbah by The Clash plays.

“I’m turning to Hell into a joke…with Jesus as the hero and Satan as the joke.” says Lacey.

Jeff Bezos jumps up and down. In exercise gear.

Lacey takes a demon and gives him head banging lessons. Adds a strobe light. Covers everyone in tuna fish paste. And then sends them all spinning.

In a Doom Painting from 800 years ago near Surrey.

The ladder of success. The demons. The false angels of light for the middle class. The false god in the heavens. It’s America in 2025.

“We were half dead when we painted that.” says the painter. “We’d experienced intense demonic horror.”

“I’m in the recording on her account. Singing.” says a dead Arab. “From the afternoon last.”

“Are the demons devouring men?” asks an American.

“Yes. But it looks better in the upper class. There’s a false sense of security and pious sense. But the demons there are just different.” says Lacey.

“She’s not a lesbian. Nor gay.” says Tsar Putin.

“Yeah. That’s…CREEPY.” says Lacey to them.

“Then what’s THIS!?” he says.

A dove floats through the air.

“Oh! Helena!?” says Lacey.

He glares at her.

“She’s just your friend?” he says.

“No. She’s my aunt.” says Lacey.

“You don’t have sex!?” he says.

“NO! I certainly hope not.” says Lacey.

“No!!! I’m her cousin?? …But…we don’t have sex!!” says Helena.

“You are so desperate to make Lem gay!? Why!?” says Putin.

“I don’t like to think I’m acting.” he says.

“You aren’t.” says God. “But you have fake mannerisms that can be imitated. They don’t belong to you. They’re manufactured.” says God. “ANYONE can impersonate them.”

“We look gay.” says a living gay man.

Later.

“Casi. That’s Lacey’s house.” says God to Virginia. “Is she middle class?”

“Yes and no.” says Virginia.

“WHY!?” says Putin.

“Because it’s rural.” says Virginia.

Bobby laughs.

“She drives a BMW. But it’s old.” says the Illuminati.

“SO WHAT!?” says Virginia.

“They have a dog.” says God.

“Whatever.” says Casi.

“It’s a gorgeous house!” says God.

“EWW!” says Virginia.

“How are you sane!?” says God

“I’m not responding.” says Virginia.

“You aren’t actually allowed to do that. Not after what you’ve said.” says God.

“It’s good. Okay!?” says Casi. She rolls her eyes.

“It’s middle class. Or better.” says God.

“I know that!” says Casi.

“Yeah.

So why lie? You’re ruining things.” says God.

“ Because I could never have that I could never have the house it’s not that expensive, but I would never have the house.” says Casi.

“ that doesn’t entirely makes sense.” says God.

“ no I mean I could buy the house but I could how could never have it because that would require things with me that I am not prepared to do just like how you have to not Mary Putin. I’m waiting for you to tell me you’re full of shit I love hurting people it’s my past time.” says Casi.

“ you’re not hurting her.” says God.

“ OK just imagine I am like a total psychopath.” says Casi.

“ what are you tried? Yeah, I actually have imagined that and I can’t fucking figure out what you want.” says Lacey.

“ you’re telling me that I am totally bat shit crazy and then if there’s reincarnation, I have been for a while and you’re right what do I want? Just tell me what it is that I want I may not be capable psychologically of knowing right now.” says Casi.

“ no I don’t think you give a shit about me almost at all maybe somewhat I don’t think you give a shit about my life.” says Lacey.

“Oh no.” says Casi. “Oh no.”

“ but I think it irritates you I think my life really irritates you.” says Lacey.

“YES!!” says Casi.

“ yeah because if there’s reincarnation, you can’t figure out what the Hells going on and it freaks you out. It just makes you feel really uneasy. And even if there’s not reincarnation, there’s something about my life or you just feel like it’s being yelled at you it’s allowed to you and you just think with the hell is this life doing in my life it’s just very irritating to you for some reason, and some deep deep level it just feels really off and you’re just like why does it like feel like everyone just keeps talking about her all the freaking time it isn’t even you know like to your face it’s just like on a spiritual level you can hear it and it just irritates you because you think why is everyone talking about this? They just won’t shut up And it just makes you want to smack somebody and I think you’re looking for an angle about how to get everyone to be quiet or explain themselves or some thing.” says Lacey.

“ that is bizarrely accurate.” says Casi.

“ OK um so I think I’m just irritating to you for some reason but it’s not him it’s not even really personal necessarily. It’s just really irritating to you and there could be some jealousy another stuff involved too but I think a certain level it just irritates you.” says Lacey.

“ do you think everyone is like that or just her?” says Lem.

“ I think if there’s reincarnation, everyone thinks they’re her and they think that they’re just irritated by me for some like there’s jealousy and pettiness but they’re also it’s just like actual irritation and they think you know I’m probably jealous of her too but it’s also in a stupid way like Casi and they want to make it something special for them where they’re also just like bizarre edits it’s not so personal to them then they want to make it something really a out there because then it’s just not quite so hurtful.” says Lacey.

“No. That’s probably true.” says Casi.

“ OK the problem is there’s nothing she can do about any of that how are used to go to bed so this is going to be the last blog post for a while I am straight and I never was attracted to men at all. You can keep imagining that I was gay and the truth is doesn’t really make sense and if you look at my eyes, you can tell that I’m straight. If you look at my body, you can tell that I was straight what you guys really need to focus on right now is a lot of other stuff And unfortunately it’s not. It’s not good because with what Lacey has said, and the threats that she’s made in self-defense There’s no way that you’re ever going to be able to be her friend until you manage to get her forgiveness for you from you or for you in a way that is not forgiveness as it was defined in the Bible you’re going to need to get her to actually want to be around you And that’s gonna be very hard to do for the rest of eternity. There’s some of you who will probably be able to convince her to see you once in a while, but most of you, other than her children and children in general and our kids obviously, and Mark I don’t think she’ll probably want to see many people who are alive right now who are adults And that’s actually extraordinarily serious. God is not able to abide by that that’s the fact that it will take that it’s just it’s so many people and she’s so innocent that it doesn’t really work.

I don’t think you guys realize how offensive you’ve been to God to her to lots of dead people and someday you will.

If you want to talk to her about why you think that she’s wrong about class or something of that nature we’ll talk about it but she’s not riding anymore at this block for at least a week we will make Instagram posts but she’s not writing anymore on this blog, possibly ever Because this blog is thick as can be, it’s complicated people are reading it and getting confused and trying to understand and it’s helpful but it’s not helpful to her because nobody is actually caring about her almost at all they’re choosing to ignore that and I can’t stand it it’s bringing all of us to a point where will probably end up dead because she’s not really trying to be hurtful to people and they’re not really being empathetic towards her and I have small children and there’s no reason for them to have to live in a world where everyone hated their mother for no damn reason at all so I’m working on killing her. This blog is a testament to that. I will occasionally prompt her to open it again for you to read, and we may edit some parts of it but we’re not riding anymore. There’s absolutely nothing left to say as far as I’m concerned, and, I wish that you people could have more empathy.” says Lem.

“ so you really were gay?” says a living man.

“ no no I was not gay at all.” says Lem.

“This doesn’t work.” says Casi. “ I actually am a vain person and I thought somehow that I could outsmart lazy and it’s not working and honestly I don’t think I saw this coming. I really don’t think I understood what I was doing.”

“ so this is the last time I’m going to be writing anything on this block I just want you all to know that Lacey is the love of my existence and I wish I never met the Kennedys.” says Lem.