“Charles In Charge”

Nirvana by Nirvana plays.

Bobby tries desperately to dance. He brought with a CD of “Sexy Fuck” and expects the CIA to play it so he can “spiritually make room” for King Charles as he’s interviewed by the BBC. A trained psychologist and a Swiss man stand nearby.

Bobby waves a flag around. It’s a shiny yellow flag. On a metal pole. He claims it’s spiritual warfare.

The song ends.

“Hey Charles, you have lots of interesting ideas about the world and there are great many people who are fascinated by you. Could you possibly fill us all in a little bit on a few key issues.” says the BBC.

He prepares.

“Charles. King Charles III now, I suppose?” says the BBC, laughing jovially.

He nods, smiling.

“How do you…feel-“ says the BBC.

He panics.

“King Charles III, how do you feel about…the Palestinian issue?” asks the BBC.

He scratches his eyelid. Thinks. Looks flustered.

“It’s quite a mess!” he says.

“Yes.” says the BBC.

Silence.

“Are you helping Palestine form its own free state?” asks the BBC.

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana blasts very loud in the room where they’re sitting suddenly. At request of Bobby Kennedy Junior.

King Charles III sits there awkwardly looking scared.

Bobby starts singing loudly and badly with the music.

1:36

The BBC yells to shut the music off.

1:53

“My! What cool music!” says the BBC laughing.

Charles takes the cue and laughs with the BBC.

“So! You’re trying to form a Palestinian state?” asks the BBC.

“Bobby!! Let’s be polite!” yells King Charles III as Bobby attempts to turn the music back on.

“I don’t understand. Is he trying to distract me?” asks the BBC.

King Charles III just laughs.

“Oh my.” says King Charles III.

“So you are obviously doing that and I can’t tell if Bobby likes that or not.” says the BBC.

“Bobby is my friend.” says King Charles III.

“Ahh…like Hitler was friends with your Great Uncle Edward!” says the BBC.

King Charles III has to be sedated.

“Charles I can tell you’re feeling much more calm now and that’s good. We were getting worried about you a minute ago.” says the BBC. “Charles I respect the fact that you’re trying to help Palestine exist as an independent fully recognized free state that’s as it should be. But you shouldn’t be selling your soul to some pseudo-intellectual from America.”

Charles focuses on breathing. “The thing is he’s friends with everyone in my family not just myself. And I don’t like to think of him as our enemy.”

They wait.

“You see he is everything that I wanted to be as a world leader.” says King Charles III.

“Charles I’m having a very hard time taking this seriously because I know you as a person. I would say that we’re friends. Wouldn’t you say that you and I are friends?” says the man from the BBC.

“I would say Lord Mountbatten that Lacey should be snubbed…because she’s poor and from a farm.

No Elliot Roosevelt doesn’t have a small penis or large penis. …I think he has a small penis.” says King Charles III.

“I actually don’t think that man has a particularly large penis. I think he’s hiding a very average penis. I’m just being honest with you.” says the BBC about Joe Kennedy Junior above.

Charles is shown the photo.

“You’re not Lord Mountbatten are you!?” says King Charles III.

“I’m not a ghost, nor him reincarnated if that’s what you mean, your royal highness!” says the BBC.

“I think I look at that picture and see a handsome young man…who’s going to make his way in the world…and do very well…and then I think about my mother and how she blew him up…and I am extremely disturbed.” says King Charles III.

“Are you saying that my murder was justified?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“You can take what I am saying that way, but the Kennedys aren’t Irish like the IRA. They’re bullies like Theodore Roosevelt.” says King Charles III.

“How are they like Theodore Roosevelt?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“Yes! Good question!” says the BBC.

“Because they speak softly, but carry big sticks.” says King Charles III.

“Charles do you realize what you’re saying!?

Are you referring to their penises as sticks or are you speaking of a metaphorical stick?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“I meant a metaphorical stick.” says King Charles III.

“From whence does this power derive thou King Charles?” says Bobby Kennedy Junior,!suddenly pulling out his penis and flashing everyone. 

Peter by Taylor Swift plays.

“This is my Peter and that’s Paul and Mary!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior talking about his balls.

He flashes everyone while the song plays.

Two psychologists take him away.

“I am not so sure Charles. …I think to Bobby his penis is very significant!” says the BBC.

The music ends.

“But that’s just childish nonsense!

I mean we know as men that there’s no significance to the size of our appendage in regard to the quality of our character…or the power of our minds…or our strength even in sports.

…There’s absolutely no correlation whatsoever. I don’t think women even care about the size. …Not really.

I think it’s more than that!

It’s what you do with it that counts, regardless.

It’s not about the size! It’s about the heart. It’s about our knowledge base and our ability to…be sensitive…and socially aware.”

“That’s not true. It’s scientific fact that for most women a larger penis is more pleasurable.” says the BBC.

“Well, I didn’t know that.” says King Charles III.

“Bobby has a small penis and we have done forensic analysis and actually Elliott Roosevelt’s dick is significantly larger than most men…which if we’re being honest suggests that Lacey‘s account of him being extremely good in bed as a ghost is probably undeniable proof that she’s actually having sex with ghosts.” says the BBC.

King Charles III stares. Stunned. Silent.

“Charles how does that make you feel? To know that I still exist?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“If you loved me like a father I’m in shock.” says King Charles III.

“You know if you’re being real and serious, as they say, you shouldn’t be. You see evidence all of the time for the supernatural. Why would you still have any lingering conviction that there’s no afterlife?” says Lord Mountbatten.

King Charles III sighs.

“It’s incredibly disturbing that we should be having this conversation over evidence given to Lacey through her vagina. That’s disgusting! …And she completely agrees with me, but her dignity as a human cannot be robbed of her. That’s delusion and a lie. …And the sad truth is the disturbing nature of things goes beyond just that…because it’s not just that human dignity cannot be stolen from a human in reality. It’s that she is impenetrable. …The only people who could’ve truly wounded her are all dead. Which is how we’ve garnered the information that we have.

“I’m not!” says King Charles III in a whiny voice.

This doesn’t sound entirely like me because I’m speaking through her mind and she’s doing her best to hear me and there’s nothing I can do about that, but if any of this sounds like me at all take my warning: should there be an Illuminati, you are not on the right side of things. You’re on the wrong side of things.

If I had known that you were not capable of being happy with Diana, I would’ve been worried I might be killed. I am not joking! If I had realized that you could never truly love her I intuitively would’ve realized that my life was in peril.

You know, you’ve been very kind to Lacey in a way and she knows that and respects it, but there are certain things that we can’t do Charles. …If you’re going to have a conversation where you acknowledge Muslims as being religiously equal in your country, you have to prepare yourself for any other possibility that could be connected to that. Last night, Lacey tried to sort out whether or not there’s reincarnation. She read scripture verses, she read commentaries, and nothing quite made sense to her.

And then all she’s left with to do is trust God, in a horrific situation.

Let me tell you…she’s more worried that she’s hurt Lem by sleeping with Elliott than anything else right now, because she loves Lem in a way that she’s not capable of loving any other human for eternity.

…

You don’t have to believe what I just said about Lem Billings…but that’s what I’m telling you.

Charles, if she’s reincarnated, you have extraordinarily serious problems. She knows that! Why don’t you!? *he screams*

…

I’ve listened to you and Camila go on and on talking to her for the last few days about reincarnation and Camilla has at times been comforting to Lacey…and that’s been very nice to see…but you must realize that this isn’t a joke. This is reality.

Do you understand that the Rosslyn family is significant to your country or do you not know that? …Don’t lie to me.” says Lord Mountbatten.

“I want to think that. I do. But no…I don’t.” he admits, very candidly.

“Who poisoned your mind!? Who did that to you!? Was it me who made you so unaware!?

Or do you think that the country doesn’t matter anymore Charles and it’s all just a joke?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“I don’t even know.” he says.

“I cared about you a great deal. What do you plan on doing if your family can’t actually be the royal family because you’re too German, Greek and Danish to figure it all out?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“Hey this is what I was warning you about earlier. I said, ‘Do you want to keep talking and ruin the entire country for yourself?’ or something like that. And I kept trying to get out of the conversation and you wouldn’t let me.” says Lacey in Minnesota to King Charles III.

“Lacey is joining us telepathically.” says the BBC.

“Bobby has us harassing her this morning because he’s hurt by the revelations on her blog and on her Instagram account about his family.” admits King Charles III.

“Yes!

Why wouldn’t he be hurt!?

Why wouldn’t he be hurt?” yells Vladimir Putin.

“I was just trying to do him a favor because I wanted to hurt her so she finally has some empathy.” says King Charles III. “Or just get her to understand that I don’t recognize her anymore. …I don’t recognize any of the aristocrats in my country! Because that’s not how things work when I am the king.”

“Charles how are you the king…if there’s no aristocracy?” says Lord Mountbatten.

“Because you can have a king without an aristocracy, right?” says King Charles III.

“No, you can’t!!!

And if you understood your own country well enough to be a king that was authentic you would know that.” says Sir Winston Churchill.

“But Bobby and I are friends!” says King Charles III.

“What does that have to do with this conversation? He’s not British.” says the BBC

“Well neither is Lacey…but I have to recognize her ass!” says King Charles III.

“But she may very well actually be a dead British aristocrat, and she is of English origin genetically.” says Bill Gates.

“I don’t have to listen to you!” yells King Charles III.

“You should though…because it’s common sense.” says Elon Musk.

“Well OK fine she looks like those people.

She even bears an oddly striking resemblance to Queen Mary of Scots. …And we’ve heard her say that she was a descendent of hers but people can still be completely right 90% to 99% percent of the time about a topic and be completely wrong about the topic overall?” says King Charles III.

“About the same topic?” says God.

“YES!!” says King Charles III.

“Then why can’t you engage on the topic? Why can’t you as the leader of the Church of England…help her figure it out?” asks God.

“Because I already know.” says King Charles III.

“HOW!??” yells God. “PROVE IT!!

Charles ignores God.

“Charles this is the Illuminati, Charles. And you’re supposed to be open-minded to that idea and not be, you know, cognitively dissident to the point of insanity.” says M6.

“I don’t have to do what you say!!

I don’t have to!!” yells King Charles III at M6.

“Charles, but you do in a sense.” says Lord Mountbatten.

“I just don’t see the difference between a dead British aristocrat who is of British origin and Bobby Kennedy!” says King Charles III.

“Why!?

Bobby!?

Your Royal Highness, Bobby is Irish and Dutch. He’s not English at all! Nor even Scottish nor welsh nor Cornish. He’s Irish and his family doesn’t come from Northern Ireland…they come from the south.” says M6.

“But that’s still counts as British!” says King Charles III.

“How!?” yells Sinn Fein.

“Because when his family came over, you didn’t exist!!” yells King Charles III at Sinn Fein. “WHY AREN’T YOU SUPPORTING ME!?”

Later.

“We’re not Greek!!!” yells Sinn Fein, after collecting themselves.

“I’m not GREEK!” King Charles III yells at Sinn Fein.

“Except…that’s imaginary. …In reality you are. And also German and Danish.” says Black Rock.

Lacey laughs.

“TIME TO FUCK ‘ER!” says Bobby suddenly manifesting his peasant ancestors for King Charles III.

“I’m not!” says King Charles III. “And I was under the impression that you were an innocent lad with one Mr. Lem Billings?” he says to Bobby.

“He seduced me!!” says Bobby with a peasant Irish accent from the 1800’s.

Sinn Fein laughs.

“He was a narcissist.” says Bobby about Lem.

“Was he really!?” laughs King Charles III in a desperate British accent.

“He was a cock-sucker!!” says Bobby.

“My goodness!” says King Charles III, laughing.

Bobby just stares at him.

“I’m waiting for an answer.” says God to King Charles III.

Later.

“I’m still waiting.” says God.

“Is that God!?” says King Charles III to Kenneth Copland, laughing at Lacey, insisting she’s lying.

“Yes. I can sense it’s terrifying. To be honest.” says Kenneth Copland.

“NO YOU DON’T you liar!” says King Charles III, laughing.

“I’m still waiting.” says God.

Several psychics try to damage this entity’s energy. But God just gains strength from that.

“Why can’t she just be upper class Charles? And Old Money?” asks a British aristocrat.

“Because! …I’m not like that. …I truly don’t think the British Aristocracy exists anymore.” says King Charles III.

“What does the British Aristocracy think of that!?” asks a British Lord.

King Charles III laughs. “You know I’m just joking!”

“No! You’re not.” says the British aristocrat. And at that the Scottish aristocracy absorbs Lacey’s energy. At the advice of God.

JFK’s remaining residual energy is swallowed into a spiritual chasm to be managed by God.

Lacey remains seated of course. In her chair. Writing this.

“She seems perfectly legitimate, Charles.” says a living Scottish aristocrat.

“SHE’S NOT!!!” yells King Charles III.

“Why!?” asks God.

“Because! …There are bullies. …And I’m the leader of the pack! …The head man in charge!

…

And then there are…followers.

…

Lacey is a weak, arrogant, ugly-bitch, follower.” he says, as if it’s scientific fact.

“Is she far prettier than your daughter-in-law?” asks the CIA.

“Yes. Both of them.” says Meghan Markle.

“Don’t you say that!!” he yells.

“She already did.” says Harry.

“Well!!” says King Charles III.

Silence.

“Is that what bothers you?” asks the CIA.

“Yes!!!” he says.

“Why be so petty?” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“I’m-

I can’t acknowledge her as anything. Okay!?

Because I don’t want to offend people.

And…I really do just think it’s all about being a bully.” says King Charles III.

“Except it’s NOT!” says Harvard.

“Then how am I…in charge of a country…of much wealthier men!?” yells King Charles III.

Sir Winston Churchill stares at him like he’s insane. Lacey laughs.

“Why do you think that being a monarch is nothing!?” says Lem.

“Because where does my power come from!?” he yells.

“You can do anything you want!” yells Lem. “You have an enormous amount of power. …Do you really not understand that!?”

“No. I am schooled. …But…what does any of it mean!?” says King Charles III.

“Charles why are you attacking Lacey!? You’re slitting your own throat!” says the CIA.

“It means that you have an enormous amount of power. …I’ve been very clear. Why are you being so stubbornly stupid!?” says Lem.

“Because I’m in an allegiance with Bobby and liberals in the US and I agreed to go along with child sex trafficking as they call it within certain parameters.” says King Charles III.

“Why the fuck did you just say that though?

Why the fuck did we have to say that!?

Because I’ve been protecting you from that! Your mother did that, you did that, because you felt desperate and I understood that and I’ve been protecting you this whole time. Why did you force me to put this on a public blog!?” says Lacey.

“Because I’m a scoundrel after all!” says King Charles III.

“No that’s your vain delusion about yourself. You’re not quite that terrible of a person Charles I’m sorry?

You went along with a child hostage ring, because you’re a delusional, pseudo-intellectual quack not because you’re a scoundrel.” says Lacey. “You’re dumb as fuck and your mother could be as well. your mother was exceptionally intelligent, but at times she could be incredibly stupid but that wasn’t her overall level of intelligence. She was a wonderful woman, but I think you take yourself way too seriously. So did your father. In my experience most Greek people take themselves far too seriously and I don’t like Greek culture for that reason. Stop trying to intimidate me in some shitty way, it isn’t going to work.

Your family was hard-up for cash, you needed money, and your mother actually was against the idea. I might know better than you. But she wasn’t able to figure out a way out because she had alliances with people who were very liberal and she had people to think about umm…and she made a mistake.

She had to kiss-ass. Do you know why! Because your father was a playboy loser. He was a hot, tall Flyboy. And I understand. I fell for one myself or two. Believe me they were a big deal.  And your father was not an idiot at all. He was actually a very sensitive, loving man I think, but he could be incredibly weak. 

Because he wasn’t really her leader enough. He was her protector, and her guardian angel in a sense will say, metaphorically speaking not literally, but I don’t think he had it within him to be as protective as he needed to be as a man. And so I think that she ended up having to kiss-ass. I’m not sure what happened in Biafra but I suspect it’s related to the same damn thing. I don’t hate your father. I really don’t. But I don’t appreciate the way he treated your mom, I really don’t.

And I think, being as trusting and sweet and loving as your mother, was, and is, and is genuinely feminine and womanly, and lady like as she is, and was, she needed a husband, who is far more shrewd and difficult, and I suspect there were men who were like that that your grandfather wanted her to marry But she chose your father instead. Your grandfather was right unfortunately, in the sense that there were men who were far better far more capable actually is what I should be trying to say, far more capable of being her mate. And it isn’t that I am damning you all to hell I hope or even could it’s just this is the reality of the situation. As far as I can see it. Bertie was right. He was worried for a reason. And I think that he knew what was best, but he couldn’t figure out how to stop his daughter, because he understood that she was madly in love with your father. And he reasoned that it was up to her because he trusted her judgment wisely. Your mother was an incredibly good person from what I knew of her but she just got overtaken overtime because she was a woman and it was the 20th century, and she wasn’t allowed to be herself and run the country. People accommodated her extremely well, but not quite enough. And she didn’t have a husband who supported her the way that she needed. She gave him an enormous amount of credit, and that was who she was starting to her dying day an incredibly loving beautiful person. An incredibly deep, optimistic, profoundly loving person.

Rare, a very rare person.

But I don’t think your father was loyal to her as he needed to be I’m sorry.

I think if he had been, Biafra wouldn’t have even happened so to speak and I don’t think that your family would’ve ever had the need or any sort of involvement at all with any sort of sex scandal with Diana with Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein with child hostages? None of that would’ve happened to Charles. Had your father done his job as a man.

Your father is a very wonderful person in his own way and I am if I’m being too harsh I’m sorry, but I’ve been trying to say this for years. Your mother needed a better husband. What would’ve happened if you’d had a better father you’d probably be more content person and Great Britain probably wouldn’t have been popular in the late 20th century Great Britain became very popular in the late 20/20 century the movies that the whole aesthetic became popular, especially in America, but it would’ve been better. I’m not sure how your father did that but I suspect that was a result of something he did at some point so you might not be as popular in the world but you’d be better off I think. There would be no scandals Charles. There would be no Biafra. There would be no problem you might not have even left the EU because you might not have needed to. You might not have needed to leave the you might not have needed to do any of those things because you’d be seen as what you really are a very old stalwart grand country grand nation and it’s sad that I should have to tell you this.” says Lacey.

“ why are you who is attacking Lacey right now? Someone is punching her in the stomach with JFK’s energy.” says Lem.

“ that would be that the Irish.” says God.

“ why are you attacking her?” says King Charles III.

“ because she’s not one of us. I don’t understand much of fucking anything but she sure as hell ain’t an Irish woman like Bobby!” says Ireland drunk off its ass.

“That was why I needed you to answer me.” says God. “ they don’t know how to reason through but they’re hearing because they’re still angry.”

“ yeah, if you had a better father, she’s right, you wouldn’t be having this conversation with her and feeling humiliated.” says Prince Philip.

“ so um it’s sad all right you sold out but I think the reason you did that is because you got overwhelmed. Your mother started losing track of things in the 1950s or 60s she started losing track.” says Lacey to King Charles III. “ she started losing track sweetie of control, so how did that happen? I can speak to it as a woman I’m very similar to her in some ways it’s it’s just your mind all right it’s like being a man would better expect it to be extremely artistic and sensitive they can be, but frankly not like a woman all right I don’t care how that sounds I’m telling the truth boys are more testosterone the more I am like that you know they don’t tend to sit around and ponder and think like a woman they might sit around and ponder but they think like a man when they do so they don’t sit around and think and ponder like a woman even when you’re brilliant is a different sort of thing.

Am so at times unfortunately and I’m saying this from experience, you’re your mother probably got physically tired in her head. Like during her period I’m being crass, but I’m being blunt when she was low on iron. Possibly at times she had thyroid issues. Possibly at times she was just totally overwhelmed by everything going on around her. Your mother and I are a lot alike.

So it’s like that’s OK you’re capable you’re able to run the country you do an incredibly good job in her case but then you sit down and you think shoot I’m tired I would really like a nice cup of tea and just take a nap with my husband. Just a nap just a nice nap with my husband. But you can’t do that because in her case, her husband was out gallivanting around maybe not even cheating on her, but giving the impression of masculinity or something stupid like that possibly. And he might not have even been cheating on her at all really but she couldn’t cozy up with him because he was a huge bitch basically. But being your father, and not being a total asshole of epically worthless proportions, he was still able to do something of value, and she gave him a Normas amount of credit for that which was very kind of her then, but then in her later, yours, apparently, according to the crown which could actually be slightly accurate, he betrayed her with some little dip shit named Penny. I mean what is fucking lunatic thing to do to go off in a wagon with a woman named Penny. I mean penny, and a wagon!? he was obviously Greek.

The poor woman, your poor mother, having to put up with this silly aging husband who had an obsession with wagons!? no believe me that’s wearing on you. It’s physically mentally exhausting to deal with someone that ridiculous. And I don’t think your mother was likely a pedophile at all. not at all. I think for a lot alike, and I think your mother was chaste and humble. I’ve looked at her I’m not an idiot your mother had an amazing figure. Your mother had beautiful, blue eyes an amazing figure. She was probably very popular when she wanted to be. And she was witty and sensitive and feminine and smart enough. I think your father knew she was insecure, though about certain facial features that she had, and her overall sort of humble, physical appearance, in a way, especially with how she chose to present herself, and he took advantage of that. He took advantage of her insecurities, like a prick from the gutter.

That’s your father, who you’re supposedly so terrified of.

I actually like your dad I think he did that but I don’t think it’s 100% evil and obviously your mother liked him a lot too. I think he tried his best to be a good husband to her but I don’t think he understood that he couldn’t be silly.

There was absolutely no room for it.

It is it got wearing on your mother all right and so as smart as she was I think she made mistakes because she was drunk or she was napping or she was sick or she was crying and her husband was not there and didn’t protect her and not from it. No, and I I relator I relate to her a lot big, and I love her very much, hopefully as a friend because she just was so strong, but she wasn’t capable of everything.

Are you know maybe this has been a problem for the British aristocracy for the last hundred years navigating, romantic love in a crumbling empire. Because how do you manage that if she married the man that your grandfather wanted her to marry, she might’ve been tempted to cheat on them with your father, because they were really genuinely in love. And your father was very handsome and I think he was honorable enough to think no I’m not going to do that not gonna let her make that mistake. I’m going to marry her like a brave, wonderful heroic man make her incredibly happy and we’re not going to have any of that silliness and me being her secret friend or something. But then the downside is that unfortunately, is that the mind of someone like who your grandfather wanted her to marry wasn’t there. She has friends, but what were they supposed to do? They couldn’t be her husband they couldn’t get inside of her mind the way that her husband can. And so we could be thankful for what your father did and how strong your mother was, but I think unfortunately that is your Achilles heel is your father and his legacy.” says Lacey.

“ so what am I supposed to do?” he says.

“ excellent question!” says Prince Philip.

“ oh, well, I think something to consider would probably be at least realizing that what I’m saying could be true and not living in denial about it because if there’s anything British about you, I would say that being aware of this is helpful in and of itself.” says Lacey. “ And then what I am just realizing that you’re in a mess that your father, unfortunately created a mess by taking Penny out in two many wagon rides will say.” says Lacey.

“Okay.” he says.

“ I can’t let you take back the crown at this point I’m sorry we need to establish whether or not there’s reincarnation first because if there is I am Constantine and this is real and we can’t keep playing around with it.” says Lem. “ I was actually heterosexual 100%. Bobby is not a reliable source of any information almost at all.”

“ I thought that Bobby and I were friends.

He took me in a bathroom when I was 27 at a party in Maldives. And he said to me, ‘I heard what they said about you. And I just want you to know as a man I resent it.’ someone had insulted my penis size, and he was implying that that didn’t matter because as the sexual expert that he claimed to be and was recognized as being by the American media, his opinion was that size didn’t matter, and it was insulting to us as men. He knows that he has a small penis. He’s never seen mine, and he never will but I appreciated, regardless what he was saying. And I didn’t understand at the time, but I was agreeing to. I thought that I was agreeing to something grand and beautiful about humanity. I did not realize that what he was suggesting, was actually an affront to myself. I assumed that it was all quite 20th century very modern very hopeful, very optimistic. I didn’t realize that I was heading down the wrong path. I believed that I was onto something grand about the state of humanity. And so now I will have to deal with that because I don’t want to lose authority.” says King Charles III.

“ well OK that’s very all good and well but then what about the issue of the British aristocracy?” says a British aristocrat.

“ well I am I guess you probably exist if I can say that I maybe I can’t maybe you exist I guess you probably do a tradition does matter in our country so I suppose you do and I will just have to keep my secret dreams to myself.” says King Charles III.

“ what secret dreams are you talking about?” says King George.

“ the dreams of the unification of men.” says Charles.

“ how about you? Just focus on getting a Palestinian state first and then will think about the rest of that later.” says Palestine.

“ where was your father when you said stuff like this!?” yells King George.

“yelling at me, telling me that I was an idiot!” says King Charles III.

“ I think he panicked and didn’t know what to say because what you’re saying is incredibly stupid Charles but it’s also very bright and I think he assumed that you’d understand Charles you’re very underdeveloped in that way intellectually if you still think this way.” says King George. “ that’s the sensitive wonderful thinking of a 12 year old boy not a seventy year-old man.”

“that’s not what I tell him!!!” says Bobby.

“ well, that’s not helpful.” says King George.

“He’s RIGHT!” says Vladimir Putin.

“ Lacey why do you think black rock is a joke?” asks Black Rock.

“Black Rock!? Do you sell steak?!?” scoffs Lacey. “ it reminds me of a steakhouse in a shopping mall in America. Black Rock steakhouse and it doesn’t that sound like a nice grill that focuses on steak?”

“ she’s right it does sort of sound like outback black rock I mean it’s basically the same thing.” says the CIA.

“ anyway Charles you’re not an idiot, but you’re very naïve.” says King George.

“ we named it that because it’s symbolic of our overall view of rock.” says Black Rock.

“ obsidian?” says Lacey.

“ I yes obsidian what if we told you that it was a very clever way of saying that it’s a black glass ceiling so you can’t see through it so it’s sort of like black glass like you can’t see through it?” says Black Rock.

“ OK but if that’s true obsidian forms from volcanoes. Am I supposed to imagine you’re surrounded by giant massive volcanoes?” says Lacey.

“ yes better to keep you out!” he says.

“ how do you get in? How do you? How did you get behind the volcano? How did your people get over the volcano?” says Lacey.

“ it isn’t meant to be taken that literally!” says Black Rock.

“ i’m sorry I think it’s an incredibly bourgeois name . I’m being honest with you. It sounds like a steakhouse. And it’s by secret check with myself that people who are not like me take it, so damn seriously. Because it’s not a threatening name it sounds like a steakhouse.” says Lacey.

Later.

“Casi.

Why can’t you genuinely believe Lacey is from an Old Money family?” says the CIA.

“Because of the poop stains on your underwear?” says Casi.

“I never had almost any.” says Lacey. “Most kids do when they’re first learning. It’s very common. But I outgrew it.”

“Aren’t you embarrassed by that!?” says Casi.

“NO! That’s incredibly dumb.” says Lacey.

“Okay. You’re right.

Umm…the dirty sink in your kitchen growing-up?” says Casi.

“Our sink was always almost spotless.” says Lacey.

“Your hair!?” says Casi.

“What about my hair!?” says Lacey.

“It was DIRTY!?” she says excitedly.

“Nope. We used organic shampoo and conditioner.” says Lacey.

“From where!?” she says.

Lacey thinks. “Some health food store.”

“Why did your mother buy it!?” she says.

“Because it was safe. She felt it was healthier than anything else.” says Lacey.

“She read labels?” says Casi.

“For hours.” says Lacey.

“so you had brushed hair?” says Casi.

“Yes. Long brushed hair.” says Lacey.

“And you ate extremely well?” says Casi.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“But your parents were poor!” says Casi.

“No, they actually weren’t.” says Lem.

“OK so how do I keep hearing her say that?” says Casi.

“Because that’s what she thinks sweetheart. She’s a ditz but she’s not stupid so it’s very confusing to people who are alive today.” says Lem.

“But that’s not the same thing that’s happening with how she looks.” says Casi.

“Oh no, absolutely not. No absolutely not.” says Lem.

“So you, so you are trying to tell me that she is doesn’t realize that her family was rich!?” says Casi.

“No, it’s that she grew-up in an apartment. She grew up in an apartment and so she had the impression on that that she was poor and her father believed that. At least he pretended to.

But Casi, the reality of it is that her family was middle class not lower middle class, but middle but middle-class financially. They were actually part of an old money, aristocratic type of family but financially they were middle-class not poor at all and that’s been said to you before.” says Lem.

Monika nods.

“ then how is she not middle class?” says Casi.

“ because she’s part of the old money upper class that’s her class that that was their class. But the money that they had was similar to a middle-class family.” says Lem.

“ but then how is she not in middle class?” says Casi.

“ because that’s not how class works Casi.” says Lem.

“ I don’t understand. Give me an example.” says Casi.

“ all right all right so in her old money, aristocratic family her aunt Maria met Joan Kennedy. I knew Joanne not in that way, but I knew her as a person like in a non-sexual way not romantic way I knew her and her aunt met her on Martha’s Vineyard for lunch, because her aunts fiancé wanted to introduce his fiancé to Joan Kennedy. that’s Ted Kennedy‘s wife. And that was a very remarkable thing for her to have done for anybody most people in America Casi we’re not having lunch with the Kennedys on Martha’s Vineyard in their 20s because they knew people who knew that that’s very uncommon. At that time they were very big deal. A lot of people thought they were extremely impressive. Extremely upper class and so basically having lunch with Joanne Kennedy on Martha’s Vineyard because your fiancé decides that you should do that was a rare thing that’s not common people might pretend otherwise, but it’s not actually a common thing at all. So her aunt did that she was also at the party on Chappaquiddick the night that those girls drowned and she knows what happened. She knows all of the secrets on that night. She doesn’t know all Kennedy‘s secrets I do to some degree and I’ve told Lacey and her spirit, but Maria her aunt was actually physically present at the party on Chappaquiddick know if this is real, Casi and you gonna be forced to deal with us, because God sick of the shit.

So um, she was there at the party and a party dress not having sex sweetie. It was a nice upper class party. They were having a party. It was a nice posh upper class party that her aunt was at with her fiancé and her fiancé‘s family or friends with the Kennedys Casi. Lacey didn’t make any of this up you people are dumb as dirt to think that. So her aunt was engaged very briefly with young man who she rejected because he was Catholic but while they were engaged, she was invited to this party and she was there. I was there, too. I was alive we were both there I was in the same room as her aunt I never met her aunt. I’ve tried remember if I saw her and I don’t know I might have, but I don’t think so. I’m not lying people need to stop attacking her. I didn’t see her if I had seen her it would’ve just been out of the corner of my eye and they would’ve been doing not dirty dancing sweetie. They would’ve been doing like a 1960s sort of hop not like the twist but it was a sort of 60s dance on the dance floor Because it was a big party very big party so I was there. I don’t think I ever saw her. I never met her. I’m not surprised I was probably drunk or high and it would’ve been weird for for her to be introduced to me. I was a drug addict at that point.

But the fact that I was in the same room as her aunt is significant, and it has helped me talk to her it’s one of gods, many mercies that that we were there at the same time because it’s allowed my energy as a ghost better access to Lacey you’d be surprised how mechanical the whole thing could be.

So that’s not normal the fact that her aunt was there that I was in the same room with her on that I have to even you know search my memory to make sure I never met her and I am the cook. Lemoyne Billings is not normal Casi that’s not typical.

Seat. People are questioning that now because they’re out with someone attractive and they’re wondering it out that I have a thing for her. I know they’re looking for a way to hurt her. No. no. no. no.

So here’s the thing that’s not typical and Maria talks about that at times but only on very rare occasions. She only tells people that on very rare occasions it isn’t something that she tells people like it was a big deal she doesn’t break about it and she only talks about it on very rare, very rare occasions their attitude towards that Casi is sort of like their middle class. It’s like oh I can’t believe that happened to me like oh my goodness isn’t that something? But that’s bullshit Casi I don’t entirely want to get into it but it’s bullshit. They’re not dealing with reality in that way and that’s part of a confused Lacey sweetie especially if she’s not biologically part of their family.

Lacey is a genius but at times will say she’s a ditz because she hast to have evidence and sometimes if if the evidence and reality don’t match she does something clumsy either intellectually or physically and I’m kind of the same way. So I’m not quite like her though thank God and I mean that because I want to be able to protect her as I am now, so basically he was like this that’s upper class the fact that her aunt was in that situation and that it’s not treated as something special home and yet it is is not middle class. Because it’s not a big enough deal to them they don’t talk about it like it’s something extraordinary. They discuss it like it’s astounding and amazing and absurd that I could even happened to them but they don’t talk about it in a way like it happened to them and they’re proud of it. I mean maybe slightly, but not much. And so it’s like oh that’s happened to me I’m such a weird person. I can’t believe this. What happened to me? It’s not weird it’s so weird but it’s amazing isn’t it so then they don’t say I was almost married to a man that knew the Kennedys like they’re really big deal. And that’s never how Lacey has been out ever saying things you’ve misunderstood her tone intentionally I suspect potentially all right don’t expect me to be quiet, so pedantic.

So essentially, that is example of what I’m talking about because the middle-class family would be bragging about that to a middle-class family. That would be a very big deal, but to her family that is ordinary and yet absurd at the same time.” says Lem.

“ give me another example.” says Casi.

“ so they owned trillions of dollars in oil that they can use in the illuminati to strangle pretty much any buddy almost literally but when they get their $4000 check every month they call it a ‘government check.’” says Lem.

“ like it’s welfare?” says Casi.

“ yes, Casi like his welfare. They’re making fun of somebody somewhere where there is loyal company or themselves. I don’t know. I think they may be making fun of themselves or it’s some way of maintaining their psychotic beliefs at their poor when they’re not but yeah stick they call it the government check it’s actually very complicated thing, because in a sense that they’re claiming to be poor but what is another sense? They’re acting like they’re very aristocratic and the whole thing is rather silly him which is actually very British and they are so much in the family that says that not everyone says that but some people in her family have made that joke. They call their welfare check Casi they called her $4000 a month oil payment from the oil company a welfare check.” says Lem.

“ we should do a welfare check on Lacey‘s kids and try to steal them huh?” yells Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ I think if we did that we would probably be bombed by Putin or somebody else.” says Elon Musk.

“ oh it would be worse but that’s neither here nor there if you took her kids from her, she probably would commit suicide potentially or she would take them on a hike and shoot herself and her entire family because you people are turning into violent Nazis if you try something like that.

You’re not little boys quit humoring him.

So as I was saying, I know I did not humor him. I tried to kill him, but he doesn’t realize that so as I was saying, did I have to deal with that because Elon Musk doesn’t wanna hear that I tried to kill Bobby it’s sad because I really did a lot I really did try to kill him. I’m sorry you don’t understand that.

Here’s what happened I couldn’t stand him and your perception of it is that a flaky gay man like me would give heroin to a little boy why would I do that if I cared about him and I knew it was deadly which, obviously I would people knew it was deadly they really did. They tried shooting milk in their veins to to save them selves, because they understood that they were killing themselves And people knew heroin could kill them OK so they weren’t totally brain dead back that they didn’t understand how dangerous it was in a way, but you’re misunderstanding that it wasn’t so simplistic they knew that it could kill them. I had no I mean why would you think we would have to be so careful how we used it They did overdose often but it wasn’t like they didn’t know so I knew it could kill me. I knew I could kill him and I didn’t care Elon I didn’t care why would a gay lover, not care that he’s killing a little boy and he wasn’t a little boy, but he was a boy. Why wouldn’t he care? Why would me is this theoretical gay man not care That doesn’t make sense. I was trying to kill him.” says Lem. “ and yet as I say that I realize that that Mike over your head and I knew that it would that was why I got away with it. I knew that people would never realize that I was trying to kill him because I began to realize how stupid people were and you know how I figured that out because I helped kill JFK I really did. I helped organize JFK‘s assassination and I had every intention of killing him with heroin OK?

So while they live in DiLullo land, thinking that I was in love with him when I was actually trying to kill him let’s see Casi what else am I know that last one as I can handle if you can’t comprehend this concept at this point, I would like to just strangle you to death. What the fuck don’t you understand?”

“ well, couldn’t a middle-class family call it a government check because they’re ashamed of their poverty?” says Casi.

“ casi oil they have oil, so why would they perceive it as a shameful thing?” says Lemz

“ because they’re environmentalists?” says Casi. “ OK OK OK OK fine that sounds stupid.”

“ no a middle-class person would be proud of that oil in a way that they’re not bad actually they’re not all environmentalist Casi some of them are very Republican.” says Lem.

“ no they’ve been Republicans since the 50s actually since the 1800s.” says Gunhild about herself.

“ could you give me more examples? Please.” says Casi.

“ OK and if you use these to try to impersonate her, you’ll regret it for the rest of eternity anybody and everybody will. All right, so here’s how it goes. Lacey used to shop at JC pennies when she was growing up every fall they go to JC pennies and her mother would buy her clothes. They made a very big deal about it very big deal it was seen as shameful because they shopped at JC pennies at her mother would force her to buy things that she’d be able to pay off within a month to two months probably no more than that almost ever so it had to be stuff that was cheap and sometimes she didn’t even charge anything she just paid for it out right but it always had to be paid within about a month or a couple of weeks maybe six months at most. I don’t think it was ever ever longer than that but if it even was that long, but she only shopped at pennies. She could’ve gotten a charge card at Macy’s or Bloomingdale’s or Dayton’s but she chose to shop at seers and Penny it’s because she felt that that was what was appropriate. so she put her daughter through hell because Lacey was being bullied for the clothes that she was wearing by the other kids who were very bourgeois and extremely hurtful towards each other. Very snotty, cruel children. If you didn’t wear the right clothes, you were ostracized beyond anything rational

She still has not recovered from shopping at pennies in the second grade really this whole thing to some degree is happening because her mother made her shop at JCPenney’s and buy clothes that she could pay off within a month at JCPenney’s. She could have brought her to Bloomingdale’s. They had a Bloomingdale’s she could’ve brought her to Nordstrom‘s. She could’ve brought her to a lot of very nice stores in the 90s that were local it would’ve been completely possible but she refused to do that because she’s a heartless, psychopathic woman. So Lacey understands these things to for the most part you guys of overanalyzed her and you’re under analyzed her at the same time so her kids are well dressed enough, but people are obsessive about her sweetheart and I am Linn Billings and I’m a ghost and JFK has been attacking her, so keep that in mind mind. So so basically sweetheart, she could’ve been wearing gas clothing or something fashionable in the 90s purchased at an upper class store like Bloomingdale’s Bloomingdale’s is an upper class store Casi for the most part still but it definitely was when she was a kid and so him and so regret her mother or not her grandmother her mother could have taken her to Bloomingdale’s her mother and purchased $500 worth of clothes in 1995. It would’ve been absolutely no problem for them. They could’ve afforded it Really they could have and that would’ve given people the right impression of who she was in all reality but her mother didn’t want to do that and she knew they knew why she was being bullied. They understood Lacey told them, but they didn’t care.

Add back and yeah back in 1995 a $500 wardrobe for a 10 year old would’ve probably been pretty substantial I mean really Casi a $500 wardrobe for a 10 year old in 1995 and her family could’ve easily forwarded that they didn’t have hardly any debt and that’s why I’m going with us. They chose Casi to have the least amount of debt possible. They still are that way, they don’t like that it’s like a disease in their mind and they’re psycho pathic at times at least not always but to some degree they are asshole to them that was a huge no-no and they and they didn’t think that her that she should be concerned that they should be concerned about her. They just they didn’t care. Her mother is kind of sadistic at times. I was her dad slightly but not like her mom what is it? It’s a varies there’s sadistic in different ways, so neither of them are really trustworthy people and yet they are at the same time. It’s very complicated but the debt was not an issue and they could’ve easily every year bought her a very nice wardrobe and saved her a hell of a lot of emotional trauma but instead, they chose to just let her suffer. They also could’ve lived in a nice house, that’s not made up your family couldn’t afford that Casi Hearst cut they were not poor they could’ve even done folks they could’ve lived in a very nice house Casi and then bought her a $500 wardrobe from Bloomingdale’s and people would’ve thought she was social acceptable and she would’ve had friends unfortunately, who are very shallow people and yet also we’re very confused people and still could be but that’s where she grew up and I don’t understand how that’s poor. You don’t respect and other people don’t respect that it’s a very upper class, old money principle to not have debt. I was raised that way. I am old money too. So her family is old money and they don’t like debt.

But if they had really cared about her, they would have had a meager amount of debt that they would have paid off within a year and they would’ve been more careful about giving their ties and offering because they would’ve realize that there was some thing off about it. So they could have afforded a lot of things, but no, they were not poor.” says Lem.

“ that’s gotta be made up.” says Casi.

“ it’s not why do you keep stubbornly insisting on that?” says Lem.

“ because!!” yells Casi.

“ because why!?!” yells God.

“ because I don’t understand how it’s possible that anyone could be better than me. I’m the best person to ever live and I fervently genuinely believe that from the bottom of my heart I do you guys I really think I am the most amazing incredible human to ever live. That is my reality. Guarantee it!” says Casi.

“ how do you fucking believe that?” says Lem.

“ because it’s me and I’m amazing I am the most amazing person to ever live. That’s like a fact.” says Casi.

“ do you genuinely believe that, and that you are genuinely the most epic amazing human to ever live?” asks Napoleon.

“ yes I do I sincerely think that of myself I I don’t understand how anyone could be better than me, but she’s challenge that with all of her logic, and I am completely confused because it totally like challenges, my entire view of everything.” says Casi.

“ and then you assume that she’s in love with you because they’re so threatened by it!” says the CIA.

“ no it’s just if someone could possibly better than me I would assume they have a masculine energy and then they’d be in love with me.” says Casi.

“ nope that doesn’t even make sense because she’s a she’s a woman and she’s better than you.” says Lem.

“ OK then I literally am feeling like I’m going to lose my mind I can handle it I feel like I’m gonna go and saying you guys like I can’t. I go psychotic like it makes me lose my mind. I literally feel like crazy when I read this blog when I hear, this is my spirit talking to her I literally can’t handle it because it’s just too fucking weird.” says Casi.

“ so if she had never talk to you, what would you have assumed?” says the CIA.

“ I probably would have assumed that she was probably like a heartless bitch or some thing or that she was really ditzy, but not in the way that she is like ditzy like Karen and mean girls so it’s like she’s ditzy, but not like ditzy and brilliant, but like ditzy or just stupid but that doesn’t really make sense so I probably would’ve thought she was just sort of ditzy or that maybe she was heartless or that maybe she was like I don’t know I am I really think I’m better than everybody and I say, I think those people know that I just assume people know that with me and I feel like I relate to people and I try to you know behind and then I guess it’s like why would I think she’s heartless because my mother told me that we were rich growing up OK and we’re not and she lied to me and I realize that in the last few days possibly but I believed her and so I genuinely have not felt. Almost anybody my entire life how did she convince me that we were rich she just she just did she just gave me the impression that somehow we were really rich and we weren’t him, but that’s just the way she treated the situation. It was like she was secretly really rich somehow and she has done fairly well and so I believed her especially as I got older and she gave me the Mercedes. It’s just like you know, no I’m not. I’m not poor I’m not rich but I’m like kind of a big deal in a weird way because my mom is and I sometimes I almost wonder if Nancy knew that I would like lose my shit if she kept pushing the situation because Lacey would come out and say this is dumb you’re not like me and then I would end up like somehow looking like a fool or I would end up doing what I’ve done and that’s why I’m mad at Nancy because I think she’s a total lunatic who should be locked up possibly. And unfortunately, yeah I mean I’m not that racist. I am somewhat, but not like some people and no I mean I don’t hate Nancy but it’s weird that she’s not white and then she pretends to be I’m just being honest she’s Hispanic and we’re having problems with Hispanics right now.

So I care about I care about Nancy I guess but part of me thinks that that bitch just tried to piss me off.

So so that’s the thing. Explain why I know that I know that it’s probably likely that I’m nuts but yeah I think I’m the best person to ever live and I guess I just assume that everyone’s beneath me and so I just assumed that she was beneath me, and then she kept proven otherwise and that has been really hard for me to handle.” says Casi.

“ her maid though Casi who fucked everything up was white.” says Saint Paul.

“ I really doubt a Hispanic male, but I’ve caused the situation and honesty I just have to point that out.” says Nancy.

“ do you know why I hired that company that had primarily white people working for it?” says Lacey.

“ why?” says Suzanne.

“ because they pay their workers a livable wage they gave them a higher wage than most other companies. That’s why I chose them and they used supposedly environmentally, friendly cleaning products. MN so I thought these people have great cleaning products, and they pay their workers a living wage, and we did tip our maids to a significant amount but it backfired the second maid was OK but she told me awful advice bless her heart I liked her as a person very much, but she told me terrible advice, I liked her as a person and maybe that was worth it but it was bad advice.

And the first made is the reason why I talked to Casi.” says Lacey.

“ what would’ve happened though Lacey if your parents had taken you to Bloomingdale’s and bought you a $500 wardrobe at 1995?” says Mr. Cologne 76. “And lived in a $500,000 house that they would own at this point in West Bloomington?”

“ that’s like $1000 today every fall at Bloomingdale’s for just one person. Actually, it’s more like clothes have gone up a lot so it’s more like two or 3000 and honestly I don’t think you guys really realize how horrifying this is.” says Lucretia.

“ that’s actually very insightful because if they done that I probably would’ve had very different friends and I probably would’ve realized that people like that made we’re just as fake and hurtful as people who were stabbing me for not wearing Guess.” says Lacey.

“ yeah Guess was very popular in the 90s people need to stop lying it was it was extremely popular everyone who had any sort of modified amount of money were gas, gas sweatshirts, Guess jeans it was very popular that’s just reality.” says a reader.

“ hey no I I I hear you what would you have been like in the perfume community in general?” says Mr. Cologne.

“ oh, I would’ve never collected perfume because I would’ve thought that you guys were probably a bunch of snobs.” says Lacey.

“ and why would we be snobs?” he says.

“ because you take perfume too seriously it’s it’s totally rational to take it so seriously in a way but I think you take it more seriously than I do in a different way and so it’s like it’s perfume and it’s art but why are you taking it so damn seriously?” says Lacey.

“ oh, because we care about what people think of us!

Because we care about what everyone thinks of us so it’s like we want to smell good!” he says.

“ to be holy as a Muslim, or to show off?” says Lacey.

“ I mean to show off.” he admits.

“ how did you guys never noticed that no one ever smells me and that I’m not showing off?” says Lacey.

“ I see doesn’t understand the concept of showing off in that way almost ever that’s so not who she is and I’m like that too.” says Lem.

“ I was a nurse in a very rural area of North Dakota and Montana. I was making good money, but not that good I mean we were struggling and I was a nurse, but I wasn’t doing as well as I could’ve been and I had to deal with certain aspects of my personality, and then I start getting better jobs but for a few years when I first left my husband who I’ve actually remarried, but for a few years, my kids were struggling with me and it affected their whole entire view of everything. I don’t think they’ve realized how well offer a family is and that’s messed up a lot of stuff, because I wasn’t living in that reality.” says Maria, Lacey’s aunt.

“ but you were a registered nurse?” says Casi.

“ yes, I was a very very good nurse. I’ve been honored for being a good nurse, but I was I was difficult to work with, and I had to learn how to hold my tongue at times.” says Maria.

“ and you remarried your first husband.” says God

“that’s true.” says Maria.

“ OK yeah we wear perfume for ourselves because we enjoy it but also because we’re showing off.” says Mr. Cologne 76.

“ who are you showing off too!?” says Lacey.

“ Other people!” says Casi.

“ what other people!?” says Lacey.

“ and a lot of people!” says Mr. Cologne 76.

“Who!?” says Lacey.

“ I just people you see every day?” he says.

“ but where are these people?” says Lacey.

“Grocery stores??” says a woman. “Walmart. Costco?”

“ why do you think they’re impressed with your niche perfume?” says Lacey.

“ I actually that’s a fair question because some of that news perfume is pretty bad when you first smell it if you don’t know what you’re smelling.” he says.

Lacey nods. “ exactly and I used to contemplate that I think subconsciously when I would read your arm. What did you used to do? It was like a pack but like a podcast but it was some sort of live like a live chat or something I went to a few of those you remember and I remember thinking why does everyone think that people wanna smell parsley like $500 parsley open I mean I wore Cabochard to go picking tomatoes this summer. Actually it was last summer and someone said, ‘Eww what smells like pickles?’ I mean it it doesn’t smell like pickles but to them does and that’s the thing I don’t quite understand. Why don’t you guys realize that?” says Lacey.

“ Are you guys does ditzy as she is you do smell awful a lot of you more than you realize.” says Lem to the perfume community.

“ that’s not what people tell us though!” says one of them.

“because they’re trying to be nice to you because you’re so friendly to them because a lot of your narcissistic and so you walk in with a huge smile on your face and people think oh wow this person‘s really gonna be my friend and then you spell kind of funky, and it just makes you guys seem more memorable and intriguing like, how could this person who’s so humble and sweet be wearing this $500 perfume wow what a fascinating person.

Unfortunately, Lacey is honest and she is actually elite and so when she wears Shalamar people get very angry at her they don’t like her to smell like almost anything other than Jo Malone.” says Lem.

“ has she gotten like bad reactions from a lot of people?” says Mr. Cologne 76.

“ yes, yes she’s had vocal reactions at least twice from people for wearing Chamade and Shalimar. And she actually smelled very good. It was intoxicating, but people hate her and it’s because they’re jealous and evil and they they just hate her without knowing even who she is remotely. They’re incredibly threatened when she smells that good oh that’s pathetic but that’s how people are nowadays. I’m sorry , if she wears a niche perfume like portrait of a Lady people, people don’t notice, but they’re slightly put off by it. The only thing that tolerate her wearing is Joe Malone. Everything else is just totally irritating to them and actually that’s where her and princess Kate are very similar That is actually Princess Kate Sutton background from her father.” says Lem.