Gay

“I’m not gay.” says Lem.

“Okay!” says Chris Hayes. “Be less complicated. MY GOD!!!”

“I was straight. What was left of me. I had an awful adolescence.” says Lem.

“Are we losing our marriages!?” says a gay man.

“YES!!” yells Pat Robertson. “YES!!”

“How the fuck are you deciding!?” asks a living gay man.

“BECAUSE YOU WENT TOO FAR!!!” yells Pat Robertson.

“Is it easier to repeal them from the grave!?” asks a psychic.

“YEA!!!” says Pat Robertson. “YOU WENT TOO FAR!!!”

“Butter?” says a psychic.

“YES!!!” says Pat Robertson. “Assume she’s real. For now!!!”

“So there’s nothing we can do!?” says a gay man.

“NOPE!!” says Pat Robertson.

“So Chris is still in love with Butter?” a gay man asks Pat Robertson.

“YES!!!” he bellows.

“Why is that so frustrating to you!?” he says.

“Because you’re a fucking idiot!” says Pat Robertson.

“Is this because I am better than Lacey?!” says Rachel McAdams.

“What the fuck do you have to do with absolutely fucking anything!?” says Pat Robertson.

“Because she hates ‘The Notebook’ and Bobby because my face is better than hers cause I look like a man.” says Rachel McAdams. “I’m his favorite girlfriend ever. He sleeps with his niece and and I am cool with it because I am a super intellectual cool cat!” 

“I’m going to ignore her because she’s fucking annoying.” says Pat Robertson.

“Why does she think I give a shit about her at all other than her eternal fate?” says Lacey.

“Because she’s a freakish bitch.” says Pat Robertson.

“Are you telling me if she eats cats after trying to fuck them or that she’s kind of an idiot?!” says Lacey.

“I have no idea how to begin to answer that.” says Pat Robertson.

“So who’s Butter?” asks the gay man.

“Why do you think that you’re allowed to have sex with a man in a way that harms his body?” asks Pat Robertson.

“You mean like anal fissure, fissures, and like hemorrhoids and stuff?” he says.

“ yes, there’s nothing natural about what you’re doing the orgasms that you’re having aren’t as good as orgasms that heterosexuals have people who think otherwise are just really bad at straight sucks I don’t care what they say.” says Pat Robertson.

“ you know what I understand what you’re saying, and I am actually one of the people who are willing to admit that doesn’t make any sense,” he says.

“ then why are you doing it?” says Pat Robertson.

“ i’m not going to answer that question because you already know why and this is just a stupid conversation!” he says.

“ do you want me to help you save gay marriage or do you want to just hate me?” says Lacey sincerely.

“ that’s a very sincere offer.” says Donald Trump.

Diane Keaton laughs.

“ why the fuck do they hate me so much!?” says Lacey to Diane.

“ do you need me to explain something to you? Are you lost?” says the CIA who sides with Trump.

“ I don’t understand!” he says.

“ she’s not making fun of you!” says the CIA.

“ you know you like Diane why can’t Lacey be given that much respect?” says the FBI.

“ because she’s just not that cool. She’s a total fucking weirdo!” say all living gay men.

“Oof!” says Janis Joplin.

“ no, you’re way off!” says Jimi Hendrix to the gay men.

“ so are we the backward like weird like are we backward?” says a living gay man.

Jimi Hendrix nods.

“ so she’s she’s more out there than we are at this point and we can’t handle her!?” say living gay men.

“ you got it!!” says Jimi Hendrix.

“ do you want her help or not?” says Diane Keaton.

“ but Diane, she thinks that molesting children is wrong!” he says.

“ yeah and she doesn’t want me to go to Hell.” says Diane.

“ but that’s like so 1950s!” he says.

Diane laughs.

“ that was almost 100 years ago!” says Harold Loeb.

“ that’s becoming an antique phrase.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “ I mean not really because the origins are Chantique but it’s gonna become meaningless in about 20 years. Diane will be dead. Lacey will be dead, so will her husband her kids will be too, Lord, willing. And until you stop using oil, her or somebody in her family will be running the world. And they’re very connected to the conservative Republican Party. She is your best bet. Nobody else in that family is going to talk to you, telepathically and give a shit. She is sincerely trying to help you and if you’re too uppity, and backward to do that, there’s nothing we can do.”

“ Why are you so uppity?” says Lem.

“ OK so I have two perspectives. When is that you actually are gay and were at one is that you never were and I don’t know what to say if you are I am confused if you if you if you weren’t, I don’t think you have a clue what it was like to actually be gay.” he says.

“ enlighten us!” says Lem.

“ I mean you’ve heard stories you obviously know some thing about it but it’s different than what either of you have experienced in the sense that Lacey is straight, but she’s talking to ghosts. Oh, who am I kidding? I think she’s a lesbian.” says a gay actor.

“ she’s not at all.” says Larry Fink.

“ I don’t want her help!” says the gay comedian,

“ I don’t get along with Lacey but I’m a little worried you people aren’t in your right mind are you sure?” says a non-binary person.

“ you know you look you look a little bit like me. It’s kind of funny.” says Lem.

“ how much do I look like you?” they say.

“ a lot!” says Lem.

“ kind of like a young version of you.” they say.

“ well yeah and to be honest, that’s because you’re Hispanic and you have estrogen but yes, there is some thing similar about us and I hope you understand that that’s what I’m bringing this up for. It’s weird Sarah.” says Lem.

“ because everyone sort of finds me attractive and it’s kind of like yeah that is a tractive but then why would you assume that Logan was gay?” says Sarah.

“ yes.” says Lem.

“ did we approve the show with that?” they say.

“ I think you did.” says Lem. “ and believe it or not that actually matters that show is very important culturally to them oils and so for it to be total trash is actually believe it or not horrific for the global economy.” says Lem.

“ what if they had just had me on the show and not George?” Sarah says.

“ that would’ve been fine. Even if you’re actually a woman, and there is no homosexuality in heaven, that would’ve been vastly more respectful to reality than what happened. You channeled my energy to be your character to some small degree.

That character had an attitude problem, very similar to the one that I still have as a straight man. When I used to make fun of jack, it was mean you are mean, and I could be very mean. OK Miranda is something like Jack very gullible. Very selfish Lacey is something like the characters who you walk off with, but not quite. And that was very offensive because it’s just disgusting. Lacey is not that woman who you left with. If you had walked off with that individual and George hadn’t, but on the show, Lacey and I would be upset, but not nearly as upset as we are. Because I’m not you, you’re not me I’m not that character even if there’s a similarities between us that’s actually incredibly creepy. It wouldn’t be offensive because we’re artists at heart at least and we can handle it because it is still just art. Let’s just start if you had been on the show and interpreted me in a way that’s offensive but not criminal so to speak it’s fine it’s permissible. The problem came when private conversations between Lacey and I in bed ended up on screen between George and Carrie. Because I’m actually more like your character and then they made me into that man. Do you understand why am angry!?” says Lem.

“ because you’re from Pittsburgh and we were Steelers fan?” says Sarah.

“ yes, I was.” says Lem.

“ you just suck at playing football. Or you did?” says Sarah.

“ yes, yes I did although I actually really wanted to be able to play football, but I was terrible at it my vision, my asthma.” says Lem.

Sarah nods.

“ and I’m gonna have to stop talking to you because you keep coming onto Lacey and she’s really not attracted to you Sarah. But I’m really not a homosexual, and I never was.” says Lem. “ and I hope someday you have a spine and are able to stand up for what you really believe in.”

“ meaning what!?” says a woman.

“ hell herself, abusing children, or whatever it is that she was going to say that she didn’t say.” says Lem.

“ so you guys don’t want any help at all?” says Lacey.

“ Sarah that was a very stupid end that conversation.” says the CIA. “ it seems like you were going somewhere with all that and he was looking for empathy from you and you chose to just say screw you and try to attack Lacey.”

“ no actually we don’t like the thought that you would ever want to help us.” says a gay actor.

“ so you don’t want help?” says Duane.

“ no!” they say.

“ are you fucking serious?!?” says Pat Robertson.

“ you’re all going to end up strangled to death not in lavender marriages and honestly the people who can end up in lavender marriages will probably actually have to come out of the closet as bisexual because they’re not really gay and they’ve been lying for decades about it or if they preferred method that much they may end up dead. Is that why you’re choosing not to care?” says Ray Craft.

Lacey yawns.

“ are you all try not to cheat on your your wives!?” says Lem.

Lacey laughs.

“ I kind of wonder if they are.” says Pat Robertson.

Lacey looks thoughtful. “ my word you people are awfully faithful!”

“ do you know what the thing is though one last try don’t be a hero. Those women are not fighting for you the way that she is and she’s not trying to seduce you. Do you need help or not?” says Lem.

“ I even thought of cheating with Sarah!” he says to insult Lacey.

“ like I can’t respond to that it’s too stupid and Lacey agrees with me but I don’t understand is why you hate her to such a profound degree she said absolutely nothing to bother you or harm you she’s been incredibly kind to you. Are you trying to be the most evil humans ever live or are you just a worthless nothing?” says Lem with God.

He just cries. And feels sorry for himself.

“ has he been working with you all?” says Canada.

“ yep for about two days I thought he was sane when I first started talking to him.” says Lacey.

“ sweetie you’re saying that Lacey is like a nonbinary person and that’s obviously an insulting thing to say to extremely sexy unbelievably good-looking, attractive woman who is cis gendered and straight and it’s not insulting to Sarah because Sarah has an a Normas ego and it isn’t really an insult to them almost at all it isn’t even a thing because you’re not pansexual you’re purposefully misinterpreting every brilliant thoughtful thing she’s ever said everything to try to be insulted to feel sorry for yourself and you’re absolutely disgusting because there are millions of men counting on you to exist right now, and not be a total fucking nothing I’m embarrassed for your parents I’m embarrassed that you breathe, and I’d like to strangle you to death!” say 2 million gay men.

“ I just I’m sorry but I can’t resist Jack’s energy.” he says.

“ OK well that’s a disaster. Lord help him. Do you guys want my help or not?” says Lacey.

“ is it true that my face is masculine and gross compared to her that I’m asking Street menu and illuminati to just be honest with me and and not be cowards.” says Rachel McAdams.

“ I can’t answer that.” says Lem.

“ and neither can I.” says Elliott.

“ it is true.” says the CIA. “ I guarantee you it’s true.”

“ are they gay?” she says.

“I don’t know, but they still are attracted to women and when they are with a woman they prefer someone like Lacey her her round face is actually preferable. It’s soft, but it’s not too soft anything too much softer would be too soft but she’s right at the border between perfect and too soft she she’s so perfect, some women are slightly less soft than her and are still in that same range, but it’s not as common as it used to be it’s it’s more common to be like you. There are very few women who look like her left alive almost nobody. Most women who are attractive looks like you. And it’s not stupid for you to think that you’re a good looking but it is to think that you’re better looking than her if you’re being objective, but then you have to be able to be objective.” says the CIA

“ why are you guys so hateful to Lacey? Is it that you’ve lost your minds or what is it?” says M6 to the American gay community.

“ who is that man who said that before?” says the CIA.

“ a gay comedian.” says God.

“ did Pat Robertson get you all confused?” says a Canadian man.

“ what did he tell you all!?” says Lacey.

“ what what did he tell you? What did he tell you?!?” says a lesbian activist.

“ it seems like it’s just unspeakable.” says Lacey.

“ can you guys talk to Michael!?” says an actress.

“ or God??” says God.

“ don’t worry we won’t repeal gay marriage don’t worry!” says JD Vance laughing.

The gay comedian laughs like the secret joke is on Lacey.

“ why are you laughing at Lacey?” says JD Vance.

He ignores the question.

“ I don’t know what to do!” says Lacey to God.

“ what would you do in Egypt?” says a Rockefeller to Lacey.

“Well we would allow gay marriage.” says Lacey.

“ well, then why don’t you just marry your father!?” says the gay comedian. “Right!? I mean isn’t that the same thing!?”

“ no it isn’t and actually if you think it is that’s concerning.” says God.

“ well, I don’t think it is but I I need I think someone like Lacey would have to!” he says.

“ why?!??” says Sarah.

“ because it’s she’s so smug!” he says.

“ do you even know what she thinks at all?” yells God.

“ I don’t like where this conversation is going, and I feel hurt and scared and offended.” he says.

“ I got I need you I could rip your head off right now if I wanted to do you understand her thoughts on it at all or not?!” says God.

“ no, I don’t. But I am not going to waste my time talking to an intellectual, charismatic, conservative Trump, supporting weirdo ugly bitch from Minnesota, who looks like a fucking piece of shit compared to me all the time! I am a sex God, compared to her!! I shouldn’t be in the same universe as someone as disgusting as her!!” he BELLOWS.

“ and I know you’re serious if you are. Don’t hide behind Jack’s energy if you’re insane, and evil and gay men have been fooling people for hundreds of years into thinking they’re sweet and innocent when they’re lunatics you should all be shot I know that you haven’t fooled me.” says God. “ if you hate her because she challenges your psychotic view of everything, you should be dead. You’ve ruined the United States of America with your psychosis and perverse amount of a self righteousness. If you really are that insane. That’s what she’s grappling with because that’s what you look like. If you’re not that insane, I know that too. How do you expect her to know she doesn’t have my insight she’s not God. But you expect her to be or she’s a worm!? And then if that’s true, you really are insane you can’t cognitively understand what I’m saying to you right now you’d be better off dead potentially and so with lesbians and so with so-called nine binary people and so a trans people you would all be better off dead, including pedophiles if you cannot cognitively understand the concept that I’m explaining to you. Very lovingly and very patiently.” says God.

“ I can’t tell!” says Lacey.

“ so what am I supposed to do with that?” says Dennis Anderson.

“ what did you just say you’re gonna molest children to get back at me for Audi? You all is in sane freaks, inspired by the depths of Hell?” says Pat Robertson.

“ was that God or Pat Robertson?” he says.

“ I don’t know.” says Lacey.

“ so do you want my help or not?!” says Lacey.

Jennifer Aniston laughs.

“ no!” they finally say.

Diane Keaton looks disappointed.

“ I don’t know if that was God it might not have been. It might not have been Pat Robertson. I don’t understand why you hate me and I’m the one saying that to you I don’t think you have a right to say that to me at all that’s psychotic and I hope you understand. I don’t understand why you hate me. I really don’t get it and I hope someday I do understand even if you’re just crazy I’d like to know what’s wrong with you or wrong with your perspective or whatever the hell it is. Because I was more than prepared to love all of you as much as I could is another human and I guess that’s just never been possible and so am I I care about you all very much as humans as much as I can but I’m going to have to wash my hands of the whole thing and if you attach yourself to me if you attach anything that happens to me Going forward you will regret it. I’m washing my hands of the entire thing in Christ absolutely 100% I could protect you but you don’t want my help so I’m not going to do it. And I will obviously try to be helpful to people in Christ as much as I Canby, but I will have to be cautious about it if they’re not children because there’s absolutely nothing I can do given this conversation in good conscience. I have never antagonize your community, possibly in my entire life even once. I’ve never made fun of any of you. I’ve tried to be as loving and supportive as I could be or if I’ve been too supportive I’m sorry. And your sadistic attack on me right now is profoundly evil and misguided. just because I sound like I am in a class infinitely higher than yours, and you actually are the fucking ugly worm from hell compared to me physically, potentially in reality, doesn’t mean that what I am saying isn’t sincere and true! SUCK YOUR OWN SHIT!!!” she yells. Then kicks him in the face until he dies. And as he’s doing it, he laughs at her defiant of reality, and the fact that she was going to save his life by possibly having to risk her own, even though she’s a mother. The entire women at an illuminati, and the CIA and the Russian government gave her the option of taking a very dangerous risk that she knew she would probably be able to manage and survive carefully overtime to try to help gay men keep gay marriage. Or kick him to death in the head. As she’s beating his fucking ugly as shit head to death because he’s actually objectively disgusting looking to a straight woman. But he’s too vain to accept that, and that’s probably why he’s attacking her because he’s a disgusting ugly rapist at heart who hates everything potentially, including life itself OK, he decides to plead for his life. and so she stops kicking in his skull as she was instructed to do by both Solinski and Putin, as part of a peace deal. And he is rushed to a hospital where it’s possible he may make a full recovery if they operate fast enough. Apparently he was not expecting her to choose the life of her family and herself, and a peace deal between Ukraine and Russia, over his own personal life. Because those are the options either carefully risking her life or kicking him to death. With a third option, being him walking away, and being able to make fun of her narcissistically well the CIA tormented her family to death and molested her children and a peace deal was taken off the table between Ukraine and Russia.  and obviously that was not a real option so the options really were to either carefully risk her life or her to kill him. 

He’s not an absolutely disgusting looking man, but he’s colloquially speaking kind of ugly to straight women. And he, for some reason thought that he could be in a really perfect lavender marriage, because he assumed that somehow women were really gullible and pathetic, and they were just easily fall for him. And a lot of gay men are like him. Unfortunately. They seem to think that women have no sexual needs of their own, and that they wouldn’t mind leaving their husbands.. because women don’t want sex??? And it’s profoundly disturbing. He also seems incredibly determined to feel sorry for himself to a really perverse degree. Which makes some people wonder if he’s actually an evil heterosexual sex predator masquerading as a gay man who’s cute and funny. How many gay men are actually really vile, female attackers but we’ve gussied them up by saying that they’re so cute because they’re gay? And all they really want to do is just hard women they don’t give a shit about anything else. The only reason they fuck other men is just a fuck women, psychologically and spiritually they don’t care about women rather, they don’t care about other men the only reason that they’re sleeping with other men is to harm a woman somewhere. There is no love between them and any other man all they’re fascinated by is the thought that if they sleep with a man that some women will be without him, or will be hurt by it somewhere if they can just figure out how.

So if that’s true and gay men really are the scum of the Earth maybe it’s too bad that he’s not dead. If that’s not true, then he’s incredibly disturbing and it’s very unclear what exactly you could possibly thinking.

“ your life is actually at stake right now if you’re in the illuminati, because this is a real conversation, and you actually are very violent towards her in a way that’s kind of frightening.” says the CIA.

“ if you even think of molesting her children or harming her in anyway, you’ll regret it OK simple as that you’ll regret it!” says Al Capone.

“ Bobby we’re not gonna threaten your life we’ve already tried and it’s not working and it’s not worth it to do it again so we’re just gonna rely on Christ.” says Kid Cann.

“ OK so that was vile and hopefully he doesn’t have to be killed and hopefully he’s able to leave me alone and stop trying to be a parasitic demon.” says Lacey.

“ then what’s that she’s analyzing you. she’s analyzing you and if you can’t handle that there could be some thing psychologically wrong with you and it might not even be because you’re homosexual but there is Pat Robertson we don’t know what’s going on and I don’t know that you’re entirely sane and you probably shouldn’t have volunteered for this conversation because you can’t handle it.” says the CIA.

“ yeah I guess what he’s still in it he’s not getting off the hook.” says Al Capone.

“ you guys don’t understand you’ve never had to deal with these people. There’s no way out they may end up killing him if he has any negative thoughts towards her almost at all.” says Bobby Kennedy Senior.

“ they’re not that pathetic Bobby that’s your imagination if he has any dangerous thoughts, Bobby of harming her or her family he may end up dead if he has any bad thoughts towards her at all that are mediocre and unimportant he’ll probably be fine.” says Kid Cann.

“ I really feel like you tried.” says Diane Keaton to Lacey.

“ you know Diane I feel like I have and I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to do. Best case stereo it’s not allowed in heaven, and I’m doing everyone a favor. Worst case scenario it is and I’m failing miserably to be helpful to them. But I don’t think there’s anything I can do to help anymore.” says Lacey.

“ I hear you.” she says.

“ there’s really nothing she can do.” says Eleanor Roosevelt. “ there’s an energy that’s been fooling you all into a false sense of hope and security narcissistically in relation to her and Diane isn’t as susceptible to it. it’s generational. The less media exposure you had growing up the better off. You are in this conversation so video games movies all that stuff is not helpful to people right now who are cognitively trying to process through who she is. You have to have read you have to have an active imagination. You have to understand things in a different way than how they’re presented on a screen and there’s nothing she can do to help you understand. So unfortunately, she’s gonna have to wash her hands of this for real. This is a real conversation.

So I’m Lacey‘s behalf. I’m gonna have to say that we’re walking away. We really are. We’re walking away whether you understand that and except it or not, we’re walking away.” says Eleanor Roosevelt.

As they’re walking away Eleanor Roosevelt explains to Lacey what’s happening.

Apparently Joel, a guy Lacey could have easily married from North Carolina was from a very wealthy family. And as a part of a frat at UND he expressed a desire to marry her. And so she became a part of their frat spiritually. When he last saw her he sexually came on her to such that it counts in the eyes of God as sex in his heart. And Joel knew that would count in his frat. …Joel is a conservative. Some of the guys he’s friends with have him spiritually in a pact. As heterosexuals. And they’re currently working to overturn gay marriage.

The deal that was made was that if Lacey…could sustain an attack by gay men…without intervention their “rights” would be protected. And men like Joel and his friends would be far more open-minded. But if anyone had to step in to protect her…it would automatically raise alarm bells. And things would dramatically shift.

Lacey has noticed this. But very few people in the Illuminati have been almost at all cognizant of it. Even Larry Fink. Because even Larry doesn’t know everything.

Today Larry came on to Lacey and yesterday the gay comedian did. Both occasions were incredibly insulting. The insinuation being that she’s a dirty cheap whore who’s desperate for any sexual attention she can possibly get. That’s very much not the case.

The conservative buddies went too far. Joel would not have. But he isn’t the one who set it up. It’s a secret society he was a part of in 2010 to 2017. …Regardless…given the extremely hostile and violent nature of the conversation that just happened…and the fact that Lacey’s life has been a living Hell…Lacey is being forced to walk away.

The gay comedian was threatening Lacey’s life. And that’s when she made the decision to kill him if necessary. All he literally needed to do was explain whether or not he wanted her protection. But he refused to even dignify the question as he felt she was too vain to be that meaningful to him in any way. The idea being that she’s too dumb to help the gay community and too sexually vapid and virginal to have any idea what kind of top-level sex gay men are involved in. He was violently narcissistically offended by her. So much so that he couldn’t remotely answer and instead started threatening her life.

At any rate…while she kicked him…scared…Eleanor Roosevelt appeared with Elliott…and he smiled…looked confused…and started saying, “Wait!!”

As this is the Illuminati…not the law…Lacey could and had to stop. So she did. And that’s when he was taken to a hospital. He’s fine. She fully intended to kill him if necessary. But all he was given was a minor concussion. He would have died though. She would have done it. He was being restrained by Syrians.