“Hi!”

“I am in the perfume community. I was mean to Lacey I have a penchant for a Guerlain.” says a man with dark skin. “I know Lacey pronounces it with an American English accent, but I think she did that intentionally and people like Dmitry have a hard time with it because they’re jealous. …They’re actually jealous. Not just they’re having a psychotic fit jealous but actually jealous.”

“For some reason I thought it was pronounced that way, but I also may have known subconsciously that it wasn’t really pronounced that way…and then I just pronounced it that way because I lived in America…and I just was kind of going along with it.” says Lacey.

He nods.

“Are you trying to be respectful?” says a Wertheimer.

“I think I might be.” says Lacey.

“Respectful of whom?” he says.

“Of the French!” says Lacey.

“Because you think you’re gonna butcher it so badly anyway that you don’t want to even bother!?” he says.

“Yes, it’s just gross!” says Lacey.

“You know it probably is.” he says.

“Yeah!” says Lacey with an “eww face.”

“Did you ever flirt with any Arab men?” he says.

“No!” says Lacey.

He thinks.

“Do you flirt?” he says.

“Almost never. I’m not sure I even know how.” she says.

“You probably do naturally, without realizing it.” he says. I have to say it. I think your French teacher in high school who taught you to speak French first possibly had a very pretentious understanding of French and I think you got terrified to speak French.”

“OK I’m gonna stop challenging you because I just lose and it’s stupid and actually I am disturbed because if there’s reincarnation this conversation just feels really creepy to me right now.

“Yes, that is true!” says Lacey.

Dmitry I think you’re jealous of Lacey because she could have married Mark Pryce. If there’s an Illuminati there are psychics who know that’s probably true.

Why would that make you jealous? Well…because you and Mira are trying to be celebrities in your own way. And I think you would probably be respectful to her if she was around her father and if she was around Lem I think you would probably totally back off because you’d feel so intimidated. If she was around Harold, I think you would go up and try to talk to them because you would feel obligated to just on some artistic level. I think if she was married to Scott Fitzgerald, you’d lose your mind. I think if she was married to Michael, you’d be morbidly terrified. I think if she was married to Louis you’d be frozen and some emotional state that’s yet to be discussed.

But if she was married to Mark Pryce…I think you get really annoyed. Because I think you feel like you deserve more credit than you’ve gotten. And for some reason, I think you feel like they should be your rivals where there’s just something about it that really irritates you. I’m sorry if that hurts but I think that’s part of what happened. I think you and Mira were really irritated by her, both. And I would just like to ask you some questions.” he says.

Dmitry looks guilty.

“Do you find Mark attractive?” he asks.

Silence.

“If I’m not straight, slightly.” he says.

He laughs. “So are you jealous of Lacey?” 

“Yes. If I’m not straight.” he admits.

“And that’s just instant because you would be jealous of whoever he was with?” he says.

“That is so mean!” says a gay man in the perfume community. “Why do we do that!? And I’m not just talking about with like women I mean why do we do that to other peoples spouses!?” 

“I can’t figure it out either!” says Lacey.

“People didn’t used to be that mean!” says Lucille Ball. “I mean people got jealous, but people genuinely tried to be kinder in the past and more decent.” 

“So Dimitry that’s wildly inappropriate but I guess that’s what you choose to do or experience for yourself.” says the man. “But then, do you question whether or not he would even find you attractive?”

“Yes!” he says.

“You know he might not.” he says.

“OK.” says Dmitry.

“But then do you realize that or do you get stuck there?” he says.

“Is Mark Pryce slightly bisexual?” says Casi.

“Very slightly.” says Mark.

“Do you get stuck on that Dmitry?” he says.

Silence.

“Do you know anything about what Mark’s life is like?” says the man.

“No!” says Dmitry.

“I don’t either until I’m dead.” he says. “Lacey has some idea. And what’s terrifying is that had she been in any contact with him, and he’s been happy in recent years at least, he would’ve probably been better off. So he would’ve been far happier if he had married her up until recently. He may have had a rough childhood in some way and she would have been very helpful to him. he would have actually gone to medical school, and he would’ve been one of those rare people who are childhood stars who end up being very successful. He might’ve still done comedy and acting, but he would’ve had a very lucrative job as a doctor as well. He would’ve decided that they needed to get married and have a family and he would have decided to be a doctor and do acting. Actors like him, don’t actually make that much from residuals. And you would think that they’d be famous for life and rich, but they’re not.

So did you know that?” he says.

“No.” he says. “Although I get residuals myself.” 

“How much are your residuals every month?” he says.

“About $100!” he says

“I get significantly less!” says Mark.

“Do you know how much her family gets every month and oil?” the man says.

“Probably anywhere from $500 to 1,000,000.” says Dmitry.

“That’s pretty close.” says Lem.

“How do you get that much?” says Mark.

“I don’t think he does!” says the man.

“I make $30 every year.” says Dmitry.

Mark nods.

“I realize that I was going to be poor when I first finished working on the show. Because I realized that the residuals were going to be awful. In about ten years.” says Mark. “So I tried doing movies. I tried doing a lot of stuff because I wanted to have money, of course.” 

“What happened?” says Dmitry.

“I can’t say.” says Mark. “Too personal!”

“Anyway, I think that’s who you’re competing with. Those two!” says the man.

“Am I supposed to think he went to med school!?” says Dmitry.

“Yes.” says God.

“I hate that!” says Dmitry.

“Why?” says God.

“I’m very competitive.” says Dmitry.

“I’m not!” says Mark.

“I’m not either.” says Lacey.

“OH NO.” says the man. “Dmitry…WHY!?” he says.

“Where do I see them!??” he says, in a panic.

“At a fundraiser. In Sydney.” says Lem.

“What’s their net worth?” says a woman.

“In which timeline?” says Mark.

“This one!” says Mark.

“If we’d met? $400,000.00.” says Mark. “That’s all. But she’d not be collecting perfume.”

“She’d be inheriting $2 million though.” says the father who raised her. “And no. That’s not why he married her.”

“What if she’d met him on the show!?” says Dmitry.

“$27 million.” says Mark.

“I get why you think they’re rivals.” says Lacey.

“Yeah!!! WHY!?” says the man.

“Because…it feels close in social proximity somehow!?” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” he says.

“Like…F list celebrities. …And yet…Mark is more of an Old A list celebrity than an F list celebrity.” says Lacey.

“Yeah.

Yeah!

…No! I know what you mean.

Not popular now. Necessarily. But…MANY people still know him. So in our memories he’s A List. But now…he’s…F List or whatever.” he says.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“What does Vladimir Putin think?” says the man.

“Not much. He’s asleep. And EXHAUSTED!” says Russia.

“This isn’t funny. You guys are real.” says a Native Woman.

“Dmitry. …I think they’re out of our league.” says the man.

“They don’t understand!” says an Australian.

“But I feel like I might know Mark Pryce.” says a perfume collector.

“Would I marry you though?” says Mark.

“The answer is no.” says the man.

“Why not!?” she says.

“ because I got spoiled. When I was developing my sense of sexuality, I got very spoiled. And you’re not as good looking as Lacey or a lot of other women. You’re not a bad looking woman, but you’re older than me and you’re not as good looking as she is. Lacey is extremely sexy! And I would automatically know that. So that’s kind of what I’m used to whether I’m married to that or not now or in a relationship with that that’s what I’m used to in a way. Because I was sleeping with models I was sleeping with actresses. I was sleeping with a lot of really beautiful women when I was popular for years. Up until probably the late 1990s I was able to pull really attractive women.” he says.

“ so anyway, these people are out of our league.” says the man.

Lacey laughs.

“ Lacey does it just annoy you that people don’t have enough respect for you to just let that be what it is? And then does it also annoy you that people are too lazy and incompetent to analyze it appropriately?” he says.

“ yes!!!” says Lacey.

“ so I want to know something Mark do you read this blog?” says the man

“ no. I stopped looking myself up online about three or four years ago. I just completely stopped. And I have enough friendship and companionship, in life that I barely ever go online. I actually really was sort of vaguely a part of the illuminati. If it exists I met people who are in it in the 1980s and 90s but I met them in like small parties in California and peoples living rooms where we would sit around and talk about God and talk about things related to the occult, and we would try to sit and meditate And talk to each other in our heads different. There was like different forms of meditation that we would practice. We did a lot of New Age stuff, and I did not realize at the time that they were trying to prepare me to join the illuminati. A lot a lot of a lot of a lot of celebrities when they’re at the level that I was at have experiences like that of dabbling in the occult meeting with people as like spiritual guides, a lot of stuff like that, and the idea is to sort of prepare you to get into the illuminati. But that doesn’t occur to me until I am Dad. This conversation is mostly and if not entirely happening after I’m dead, so it’s in the future.” he says.

“ but we’re not all dead on this blog?” he saysz

“NO!” he says.