“Dammit”

And Some Will Fall by Max Richter plays.

Lem stands and watches Lacey. After killing himself in 1981. Not because she’s Jack. Quite the opposite.

“I was a joke.” says Lem.

“Dirty letters?” says Lacey.

“I didn’t have a dirty mind. Not the way Jack said. …That was his imaginary world. He often said stuff like that. …I would say…simple things. Discuss gay sex. In a matter-of-fact way. …And Jack…made it sensational. He was the one with a dirty mind.

We did joke about having kids. But it was entirely…nonsense. Of course. Because…I knew my oral history with him would never produce kids. But…he made jokes like that because I was disinterested. And he sensed that. And it made it all seem just funny.

…I never wanted him to touch me. We rarely had anal sex.

…I was stuck with them. He was…obsessed with me.

I didn’t sleep with that prostitute.

I wasn’t a good kisser. I never kissed him. Not really. …We never really had gay sex. I just serviced him. Like a slave.

I wasn’t a good kisser with him. Because I didn’t…want to kiss him. …He posed us. He made me…kiss him. And I tried. But it wasn’t worth it…because I hated it and I was actually straight.

People don’t understand me.

Jack WAS A NARCISSIST. There was no narcissist in him. He just was a narcissist.

I was incredibly abused. …And there’s no way I would have ever loved him. Really. After all of that. That’s not humanly possible.

J. J. Maher? Yeah. Because Jack demanded oral sex. We called it that because Jack was sexually violent and it was a joke. A way of him trying to make it seem…normal to be so demanding. Get it?

I dare you to find one shred of evidence of ME sexually flirting with him. …Everything is always him being aggressive to me…and it suggests I instigated it…but show proof!

I never…could have managed Jackie…unless I was straight.

Show proof I gave a damn!!

Marvin actually tried to make love to Jack. I NEVER did.

I was trying to kill Bobby. I did try to help him. But I also felt he was a sociopath, eventually. …And so I eventually began to feel that I should kill him.

I used drugs with him…but that was common knowledge. And it did bother me. But…my intention was to kill him. Genuinely. I wasn’t a cruel nor abusive man. I was…homicidal though. And I was…hopeless.

I didn’t care about all of his girlfriends. But some of them I worried for. And I did try to break up a few relationships.

I didn’t kill myself over Bobby. I died because I wasn’t interested in living. It wasn’t just a heart attack. That’s a lie. It was drugs. People don’t just die like that. On such perfect dates.

I thought I was gay. Until the end? No. But until my last year or so.

I know you tried to plant this article. Bobby. Should there be an Illuminati. But it’s backfired. Rip Horton…helped. He feels bad for Lacey. And any sane person would.

Find evidence I…sexually genuinely came on to Jack. Jack’s tone is genuine. Find a time when I genuinely came on to Jack!” says Lem.

“You talked with him about masturbation.” says Ken Burns.

“Yes??? But what was my tone?” says Lem.

“You don’t necessarily ever seem sexually aggressive.” says Ken Burns.

“Well…it’s weird. Why don’t people ever talk about that!? …Jack poses me to look like the sexual aggressor in photos. …Because think about it! He posed himself like that?? Naturally!? …That makes no sense! He wanted to seem straight. …He flirted with me. But…who keeps accidentally getting into such positions as a teenager or adult in photos?! It’s unlikely. …He’d pose us. And taunt me. Because I was insecure about my physical appearance…and he knew I wanted to sleep with women. He knew I was sexually miserable.

…Why don’t you ever include what I said to him!?” says Lem.

“So you were trying to kill me!?” says Bobby.

“WHY DON’T YOU EVER INCLUDE WHAT I SAID TO HIM!?” says Lem.

Silence.

“WHY DON’T YOU EVER INCLUDE WHAT I SAID TO HIM!?” says Lem.

“ I’m getting frustrated because there actually is an afterlife.” says Marc Price. “And in all honesty she looked at my Facebook profile the other day, and she thought about contacting me and not like as a creepy stalker but just because if this is real, that would be a good way of testing that. But then she’s decided against it because it doesn’t make sense anymore and she’s heard from the spirits that I am in a relationship. Like dead people. And she’s right, I actually am as she’s writing this.

When she first started interacting with Lem and she thought he was gay, and had either become straight after he died, or that he had been bisexual or pansexual. He was an incredibly toxic relationship with Jack. Even if they were actually in some sort of closeted, horrific relationship that was incredibly toxic and dysfunctional why the Hell would you assume that they were still together? See she’s trying to hear from him as a ghost. How do you know that he actually wasn’t trying to tell her that they were together and then it was violently interrupted? Her father is Tom Banks. Joe really was communicating with her, Jack’s older brother. Why isn’t it entirely possible that Lem decided to try to be with her because he actually fell in love with her in a way that he never loved Jack or anybody else for that matter? How cruel really was he? Because if he wasn’t that cruel and you’re saying that because of what happened with him and Bobby, I would be very concerned.

He’s ghost easily could’ve been trying to communicate with her to be with her, and it was impossible for his ghost to be heard and the best he’s been able to do is tell her nonsense because that’s all that he was able to do. I have a feeling it’s not entirely nonsense. Umm.. and I have a very strong feeling That you don’t really understand that when a person chooses to use drugs with somebody, that is a conscious decision that they’re making at the time. And there’s no excuse for that Lem says as much. And as much as it hurts, I think you’ll have to except the fact that he really was possibly trying to kill you Bobby or he didn’t give a shit about you.

Bobby…was not the center of my universe. But I wasn’t genuinely cruel. …He attacked his siblings. He was a very cruel person. Very rude. Very sociopathic. …And saw that…and I worried about what he would do. I knew he was likely to be…something important. Because that’s what was expected of him. And Ethel favored him. …But he was a cruel little boy. …And I worried he’d be dangerous. …Jack Junior was also on my hit list. They all were. …But I think Bobby was at the top.

And then you have to ask yourself why. Why did he give a shit about you all those times that you used drugs? How many times did you use drugs with him Bobby?” says Marc Price.

“Dozens.” says Bobby.

“Yeah…yeah it wasn’t an accident. He didn’t give a shit about you at all. And you know the truth is he probably tried to be fatherly towards you and actually care but you forced yourself on him or your parents did or rather your mother did and that’s not a natural relationship.” says Marc.

“But I don’t think they forced him to care.” says Bobby.

“I highly doubt that! I highly doubt that!” says Marc. “GROW-UP!” He thinks. “He didn’t exactly volunteer to be stuck with your family. He was genuinely threatened. Jack was incredibly oppressive of him even if he was gay.

How many times did Jack say to him, ‘Why haven’t you written me?’ Lem it’s been a month! Lem it’s been three weeks! Lem it’s been two weeks!’ How many times does Jack say stuff like that to him over the years Bobby? He was stuck with your family…and I don’t think when he said stuff like that that he necessarily meant it the way that you want him to have meant it. He meant it in a way where he was trying to indicate that he was stuck. Kind of like how Rip calls him a slave. He was stuck with your family…and I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but no, your mother forced him to give a shit! He did care somewhat, but not the way that people say that he did. He was forced to care! Your family forced him to care Bobby! Prove otherwise!”

“I can’t!” says Bobby.

“Then maybe you’re living in a delusional world that doesn’t really exist and I’m trying to help you.” says Marc. “Bobby I have been with men. I am bisexual.

“That would be someone’s hypothesis.” says Doris Kearns Goodwin.

“What else!?” says Lacey.

Lem’s seems bisexual to me if he’s gay at all. Jack writing him all those lurid messages about women would be proof of that. He writes Lem those messages, because Lem wants to read them. If what we’re hearing supposedly from him isn’t true. He tried to convince them to be involved with women and you can’t just assume that it’s because he was in denial about Lem’s orientation. is there proof that it was just because he was in denial or is that someone’s hypothesis?” says Marc.

Marc nods. “ yeah, it’s far more likely that one was bisexual and that’s why Jack keeps telling him to sleep with a woman or a jack keeps saying things like you know I slept with his check last night. Wanna hear the details he tells them stuff like that because Linn wants to hear it. Why would a gay man want to hear all of those fucking details over and over again that’s not homosexual there were men who used women as like a go-between OK but I would bet an a lot of those cases those men were bisexual. Lamb does say to one of his friends later that he never slept with a prostitute, and the way that lame confesses that suggests that he probably never did. Which suggests that lime actually wasn’t this wild man necessarily that you make him out to be so now we have a problem Bobby because on the one hand he’s not a wild man but on the other hand, he doesn’t seem completely gay. that’s a problem because it’s suggest Salems psychology is completely different than the way that you’re representing him.

Bobby there’s a difference between a gay man who is madly in love with your uncle and you and a bisexual man who may have been in love with your uncle Joe’s to be gay for whatever reason and may have been trying to kill you.” says Marc. “ Bobby does it seem possible to you that he may have actually been trying to kill you?”

“ yes.” he admits.

“ yeah even just through addiction, huh?” says Marc.

“Yes.” says Bobby.

“ why the fuck would you assume that he would still be interested in your family if he died brokenhearted he’s an adult he moved on he’s not alive and miserable anymore. He’s dead and enlightened if that’s how you want to see it. Oh he found Lacey what would made you what would make you think that he was being cruel to her when there’s not a lot of evidence to suggest that because of the very beginning, he tried to tell her that he was bisexual, or had been mostly gay potentially even and I’m not even saying that that’s really what happened because I actually think it’s possible that he was straight I know he was potentially, but I am just humoring you, because this article if there’s an illuminati was fake, you didn’t think she’d subscribe to the daily mail to actually read the article so you made it sound more hurtful than it was thinking that she never read it and then you planted comments in the comment section to try to make her feel as though lamb was never in love with her and etc. etc.

The problem is though Bobby you’re the one full of shit not her and you have no fucking clue what’s going on. What did lime do with you? That makes you think that he’s being cruel to her?” says Marc.

“ he was very affectionate.” says Bobby.

“ what do you mean by that Bobby?” says Marc.

“ oh, she knows right?” says Bobby.

“NO!” says Marc.

“ hugs and kisses on the head. Sometimes he would tell me that he love me.” says Bobby.

“ that doesn’t seem like anything to you?” says Bobby.

“ not in the slightest fucking Pat. I’m not Emily. I’m not Mary! I’m not Cheryl. I’m not Sophia. I am myself and I need evidence. OK precious give me actual fucking evidence.” says Lacey.

“I don’t have any evidence. I don’t have any fucking evidence!” says Bobby.

“ then why would you assume that he gave a shit about you and some really deep way?” says Marc.

“ because he said he loved me.” says Bobby.

“ oh, I was hurt when you decided not to go to Haiti if that even happened but I knew you were likely to cancel. Do you understand?” says Lem.

“Yes.” says Caroline.

“ i’m asking him. Do you understand that it was very likely that you were going to cancel?” says Lem.

“ yes.” says Bobby.

“ I died not because you canceled. I died Bobby, because it was just one more thing telling me that my life was worthless. I had tried being sexual with men I had tried being sexual even with women on occasion, and it never worked.” says Lem. “ I was never aggressive. Enough with women and men were not my thing at all.”

“ oh, OK so I want to know why you don’t think it’s weird that he was trying to kill you Bobby or that he was possibly letting you die.” says Marc.

“ because I was a kid and I took it as a him being accepting of me.” says Bobby.

“ do you know that’s what it would seem like to you but that’s not what it seems like to Lacey and that’s not what it seems like to a few other people but that has been glossed over by a lot of people when they’re analyzing my personality. I really didn’t care if you lived or died, I did care about you. You have to understand. I did care about you I did I very much cared about you, but it wasn’t in that way I cared about you, but I have been horribly abused by Jack. I was stuck with your family and I saw you was a sociopath so I cared about you Bobby, but I also felt as though you’d be better off dead, those two things can coexist the thought in my situation thought that you deserved affection the thought that you even deserved love, but then also the desire for you to just die.” says Lem.

“ why did you cry almost over me?” says Bobby.

“ because I realized I messed up him and then it wasn’t working to kill you. You weren’t dying a lot of teenagers that used heroin died. Bobby and I had it in my head that you would die if I had you use it enough but you didn’t and that frustrated me because I really did think you were better off dead, and to be honest when I punch you full of those fake ideas that you were going to be president I was fate I was faking you out. I never thought you would be president. I thought it was possible they didn’t think it was likely and that was part of my contempt for you I actually was fake towards you if I ever seemed like I was flirting with you it was part of the same thing giving you the idea that you know we really had a rapport that we never really had. Did I ever do anything to you sexually, no I did note. We never had that report in a real in a real way. I did try to care about you, but part of that was actually an act because I had a long-term plan to possibly kill you

I did care about you, but part of the reason I spent so much time with you, and was so doting and protective was actually as a cover for my long-term plan to kill you.

That was not something Lacey was going to say, but she’s writing that right now because that’s what I’m telling her to say and it’s actually true. It’s actually true. It’s true. I actually did intend to kill you when you were a little boy you were very sociopathic at times. And I knew that you were bullying your siblings and I thought I’m going to have to seem like I care about him in a Normas amount in case I have to kill him or commit him to an insane asylum. You know something like that so I try to be as doting and finding and loving and sweet as possible Not to groom you, unless if you can prove otherwise not to groom you I mean if you can prove otherwise and I’ll have to like Lacey will have to recalibrate everything, but Bobby if there’s no evidence of that, then there’s no evidence of that and truthfully, if you were 14, it wasn’t entirely grooming anyway, but that that wasn’t That wasn’t what I was doing at all is what I’m saying I wasn’t trying to date you I was trying to cover for any future actions I would have to take because I wanted people to think that I adored you because if they could think that I adored you if I had to kill you people wouldn’t suspect that I killed you because I knew you were into drugs. I knew it, and I had every intention of possibly killing you Because I was very watchful and I knew what you were up to and I suspected I was going to have to kill you.

Why did I cry to your girlfriend that was fake I was crying because I was sad about the fact that she seemed to think that we were really close. I didn’t want her marrying you because I liked her as a person I didn’t like Emily all that much she was OK. I didn’t know her all that well, but I somewhat do her I guess but not that well I spent hours talking to some of those girlfriends of yours overtime and part of the reason I did that actually was for their protection. I was trying to dissuade them from marrying you so they wouldn’t get hurt. And my cover again was that I was this weird doting homosexual but in reality Bobby, I was actually fake as fuck and I would say things to them that were insincere and act concerned and ways that were fake. I did almost cry but it was because I felt bad if you actually loved me I’ve always wanted a child of my own, and I never thought I was ever going to be able to have one and I was worried if you left me like a son in a real way how much I was hurting you and I actually was worried at times that I really had hurt you by being so Cold and calculating and violent and so at times I almost did cry because I was very worried that you actually had real feelings that I was hurting but I was a very good actor and I was very good at faking stuff and speaking of which do you have any evidence that I actually ever said anything remotely sexual to jack at all?” says Lem.

“ you talked about masturbating. It was to be honest in a fairly clinical way possibly and it wasn’t necessarily ever flirting with him. There’s not any evidence that you really flirted with Jack.” says a man.

“ except you keep intimating that there is and that’s very serious. If if there is then this is what you don’t seem to understand I first started talking to her and she thought I had been bisexual. So if I ever did have a relationship with him that was totally dysfunctional and I really didn’t give a shit about Bobby the way that I was supposed to. I’m not with Jack that’s moronic he was abusive. He was cruel to me and whatever attachment I had to that family if I was bisexual or gay ended when I died because I realized, how absolutely worthless the whole thing was what is it that you imagine I had with him that was so profound that once I had better perspective, I would just get over it?” says Lem.

“ I think people thought that you were somehow attracted to him?” says a woman.

“ but let’s be honest if I was this cruel sadistic person who could tolerate Jack’s narcissism why would I have had a bond with him?” says Lem.

“ yeah that’s not psychologically normal you guys so someone who is that cruel and sadistic has some thing wrong with them. And that would probably indicate some sort of narcissism, or some sort of other personality disorder, which means that he would not have had a stable bond with Jack. Could he have been a slave to him at times yes, he could have been. If Linn had a dependent personality disorder, coupled with a narcissistic personality disorder, and possibly some sort of avoidant personality disorder, he may have been capable of having a relationship with them over time that was really weird, but workable in a very dysfunctional way. But the problem is this idea that he never recovered after Jack’s death isn’t really possible because someone who has all those disorders is not an emotionally normal person and that way him so he may have grieved his does he may not have recovered, but it’s not so simplistic. It would’ve been a lot of different things not just grief. So he lacked in a sense his master, like he was a dog. If he was dependent on him and his rage and anger and how he treated, Bobby suggest that he was not necessarily as avoidant or narcissistic, or dependent, even possibly is all of that so that doesn’t really work. So then we have to go back to the wedding where he’s smiling and he’s not sad and you guys of never dealt with that reality and it’s really annoying.

I am Mark. Price wants to take us in a different direction. I don’t blame him. He is talking to us from the afterlife. He’s not in communication right now in any other way. Not if he is it’s not quite the way that Lacey is hearing it. OK I’m actually Sigmund Freud that she’s channeling right now and I’m really angry at all of you because you’re refusing to accept what she saying to you and then you’re posting stuff like this to torment her and it’s not working and you can’t understand why you’re so confused.

And it’s getting to the point where I can’t stand it anymore. I don’t know who you think she is or who you think you are in relation to her but I have a feeling it’s far more psychotic than you realize. and I’d I would just like to try to process this with you is there evidence of him being earnestly sexual with Jack?

Because it’s possible that he would’ve gone along with it, even in a dependent way, and it wouldn’t have necessarily been sincere. The pictures of him with Jack don’t indicate that he’s the aggressor he never seems all that into it Jack’s the one who seems to be far more energetic. Is there evidence of him being earnest or not?” says Sigmund Freud.

“ no, I mean not really.” says a journalist.

“ hey, you know it is weird that you guys have never discussed that even if you’re focused on Jack, it’s strange that you’ve never discussed what he says to him. And this is before this predates Lacey you’ve never discussed what he says to Jack. There’s a mountain of evidence of of Jack saying sexual things to them. I don’t see Lem saying anything sexual to Jack. And so because you’ve neglected that I’m going to have to assume that there’s not evidence or if there is that it’s not worth sharing and let’s just say that there is evidence. Why would you assume that he was gay he could’ve been bisexual and he definitely had a Normas lack of regard for Bobby. He can say oh I messed up. I’m sorry but that doesn’t change the fact that at the time that he made those mistakes if he wants to call them that That he made them so even if Bobby he did say something Ernest to Jack it’s weird him that you people of never realized how disinterested he really was. He never seems to want a 50-50 relationship sexually. He was giving oral sex to Jack and I don’t think it seems to be a 50-50 though let’s say that it even was is it that that doesn’t really make any difference entirely, but it adds to what I’m saying if it was just him giving.

That’s very weird and the fact that he wasn’t more sexual at Jack’s wedding is also very strange. You know he doesn’t seem jealous or hurt enough. Why didn’t Marvin bother him? You don’t seem to realize as your prompting all these articles that Lem had feelings too. It wasn’t just jack who existed. He is so it’s extremely unlikely that he would still be with your family Bobby if not totally impossible matter fact, I would say that unless if he’s choosing to live in hell that he’s not with your family anymore Jack’s not that good looking OK in the grand scheme of things amongst all men to ever live bisexual even your uncle is not that good looking And truthfully speaking, he could’ve cloned Jack he could be with 1 million different people who even look exactly like him. Why the fuck would he hang out with somebody sweetheart? Who had such lack of regard for him and I don’t think narcissism is even an excuse that is a disorder, but there’s a part of Jack, that just didn’t care it’s like love was a non-negotiable fine, but he abused a lot. He treated him very badly and it wasn’t just about doing the laundry. It was relationally it was with women he abused left so it’s extraordinarily unlikely that even if he was a dysfunctional nitwit, that he would still be in a relationship with anybody in your family in the grave.

That being said, do you have evidence or not?” says Sigmund Freud.

“ no!” says a woman.

“ no you know whether you do or not I want an answer do you have evidence?” says Freud

“ no!” says a man.

“ oh, right the truth is even if you did, I would have to wonder what was wrong with him because he couldn’t really enjoy masochism that much. And so it’s highly unlikely that he would’ve been anything other than straight. And by straight, I also mean perfectly sane. And the way that you presented the information in the article suggests that Lem’s was actually gay, but the problem is that the evidence doesn’t actually suggest that.

Lem’s was not sad enough at Jack’s wedding. An adult cannot hide their emotions that are sexual to that degree. And that’s not humanly possible. He was straight that’s the only way those pictures make any sense. Could you have been asexual no because there are other aspects of those pictures that suggest a sexuality asexual people never look as sexual as him. And he also said things over the years indicate that he was not asexual.

There’s no way he was not straight. And she’s not the one saying this. I am. 

He was straight he says things over the years indicate that he was sexual, not asexual. and he was not a total masochist, so there’s no way that he was in a real relationship of any sort with Jack at all. Even if he was a total masochist people aren’t that masochistic. I jack called him, dirty minded, because Jack was trying to sexualize their interactions. Give me evidence that lamb ever said I want to come lick your balls and fuck you in the ass.” says Sigmund Freud. “ and if you even have evidence of him, saying that I want it to seem sincere, or it doesn’t really matter, give actual evidence of him, saying that in a sincere way consistently over time.”

“ Bobby thought Lacey would be devastated by that article but he also thought she would never read it and the daily mail thought that if she did that she would be less confused but that doesn’t seem to be true on either end.” says BBC.

“ where is the evidence that Lem consistently said that!!?” says Freud.

“ there isn’t a lot of evidence Lacey it’s pretty dicey.” says NBC.

“ that’s not what I’m asking is there evidence or not?” says Freud. “ is there a real evidence?”

“ no.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“ so there’s no real evidence that everything he said to me isn’t 100% accurate and you people are just delulu!?” says Lacey.

“ no.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“ OK well then I’m going to have to think that everything he said to me is actually 100% accurate and if it’s not I’m gonna have to believe that I’m with somebody else I don’t have a choice so it’s either his clone in a sentence or it’s somebody else who is very similar to him in someway or it could just be him and I’m going to have to trust God that overtime I will find out a lot more.” says Lacey.

“ and I have a feeling that Lem was straight you guys.” says Wueen Elizabeth I.

“ bobby I think he was possibly trying to kill you. Have you been worried for me or are you just really confused and gullible?” says Lacey.

“ do you think I seem gullible?” says Bobby.

“ yes everybody in your family seems gullible to me very gullible and very evil but I’m asking you a question. Have you been worried about me or are you just nuts?” says Lacey

“ no I’m not worried about you.” he says.

“ why was he so angry in his last yours if he was gay what the fuck would he have been angry about? And if he was so Mary and jolly and all of those pictures and everything was so great with Jack wow then why was he angry and desperate for you to love him? He was either falling out of love with your whole family painfully overtime and he was bisexual or gay or pansexual or he was straight and that does seem most likely and I think you really don’t understand him and you’re a little stupid about how happy people can seem when they’re really not all that happy.

Did you feel hurt by him letting you use drugs or did you not even notice?” says Lacey.

“ and I barely noticed.” says Bobby.

“ yeah yeah you barely noticed I believe that when you did notice, how did it affect you?” says Lacey.

“ actually, I’m curious too. And just for the record sake, if she contacted me, I would find her attractive a decent number of the women that I’ve dated have looks like her she’s not insane OK and we are interconnected through a lot of people in Hollywood. She’s not insane part of the reason why she doesn’t contact me Bobby is because her first reason Haslem believe it or not him Her second reason and other ghost but him really her second reason is that she knows I might find her attractive and that things could get ugly. I’m a child star I’m a little messed up and I don’t even know necessarily that I’m talking to her right now if I am if the F if I’m in the illuminati and that’s not necessarily likely, but if I am, I could contact her and probably convince her to go on a date with me, but she’s not gonna go out of her way to contact me because it just doesn’t make sense even if there could’ve been something in some alternate universe or something, it doesn’t make sense for her to contact me.

But I’m tired of you people ostracizing her for being more intelligent than you. People can say things that are sexual. She’s told people that she loves them when she didn’t mean it about the time she thought she did she is told people lots of things people do that when they’re under duress or when they think someone wants to hear some thing or needs to hear some thing and they feel sorry for them. The thing is that’s the reality of it. It’s very unlikely that he was anything other than straight, and that Jack was actually in any sort of real give-and-take relationship with him. People have to actually have commitment. They can’t have that broken all the time that’s not a thing and there’s no way he could’ve enjoyed hurting people or watching Jack do stuff with other people to that degree even if it’s a fetish that’s not the way, Jack was doing it. There was a certain selfishness about it And that hurts OK that hurts overtime. There is no Bloody Way, Bobby that he would still be with your family but there’s no way either that he could’ve been so happy at the wedding unless if you were straight so you could even show evidence that he said sexual stuff, and I don’t think it would even matter Because there’s there’s nothing to it he had to have been straight the fact that he couldn’t cry at the wedding the fact that he was able to avoid crying rather the fact that he was so hurt by your family there’s no way he’s with any of you, and he was obviously straight so the evidence of him saying stuff unfortunately, for you might not even mean anything and I don’t even know that he did the truth is in all the picture he does pictures he does look kind of like he’s not really necessarily the one instigating. thanks him the fact that he was so downtrodden is a bit suspicious as well And so no I’m sorry it’s there’s nothing you have nothing.” says Marc.

“ there’s no way that homosexuality makes any difference?” says a woman.

“ no no because homosexuals have real feelings just like other people.” says Freud.

“ but you don’t think you could’ve tolerated it?” she says.

“ no there are some things that are not tolerable!” says Freud. “ the pain at that wedding, but it shown in his eyes it’s not there!”

“ this is kind of stupid. She’s right, but I don’t even think it’s her. I think these are ghost telling us this it’s not possible I’m thinking about it and it’s not.” says a woman.

“ do you know this actually is true it really is impossible that he could’ve been anything other than straight.” says God. “ even if there was evidence of him doing really overtly sexual flirtation that seems sincere. His lack of emotion at Jack’s wedding is so meaningful that there’s no way that he could’ve been anything other than straight.”

“ it’s just not there.” says Lacey.

“ Leisy I don’t think these people are as intelligent as you, and they’re certainly not as intelligent as God.” says Zelensky.

“ yeah I just don’t think there’s any way for him not to have been more sad.” says Lacey.

“ and then there’s there’s probably not any other way.” says Zelensky.

“ what the fuck did he do that? Everybody said that everyone is so stuck on?” says Lacey.

“ I don’t know.” says Zelensky.

Lacey takes a deep breath.

Zelensky nods.

“ I mean thanks for talking this is actually quite helpful. I don’t understand peoples obsession with thinking that I am JFK because I’m clearly not him and it has been explain to them over yours why it’s so unlikely that he was anything other than straight and confused. I mean putting up with someone like Jack he was so narcissistic because he was obviously a clinical narcissist who was cheating with like thousands of people or something I mean no and I don’t care if he gave him back massages I don’t give a shit. The truth is that actually almost does seem in someways like he was straight And I don’t think people realize that there’s no like magical moments. We’re just bullshit just becomes true.

It’s it’s infuriating to me because there are certain psychological things that are real that is reality OK and then there’s some things like oh somehow when he was massaging them when he was massaging Jack’s knee, he magically turn straight Laceyzx.

I mean, when he was massaging, loves me, and he magically turned gay.

That’s absolute fucking bullshit.

No, it’s absolute bullshit. There are certain things psychologically that are not alterable and then there are some things that are more complicated and that’s very upsetting to narcissistic people like Bobby.

I I don’t know what he said to people I have a feeling when he massage Jack that it actually wasn’t sexual at all even if he gave him oral sex. I have a feeling that it probably wasn’t sexual at all when I see him touching Jack’s but it doesn’t look sexual to me. No it really doesn’t. It looks clinical and fake and studied like a lot of gay men do when they’re posing with their straight female wives in the past it looks fake.

I know it’s just It’s. I don’t know what he said. I don’t know what he did to make everyone think that he was obviously homosexual but unfortunately, there’s probably a way out in every single scenario when he actually ends up being heterosexual. Every single picture that was taken every single thing that was said there’s a way out where he becomes heterosexual there Hass to be. I’ll say that now there Hass to be.” says Lacey. “ and I am in a committed sexual relationship with him and I have been in One for a while now and I’m sorry Jack was too stupid and narcissistic to know how to function but apparently he was apparently he was in love with Lem’s but Lima Street and Jack was too fucked up to be able to handle any of it.

What what the fuck am I supposed to do about that? That was lame that wasn’t me that was him I wasn’t there, physically even if there’s reincarnation in a way that was obvious to people that’s facts. And there’s nothing I can do.

So I’m gonna have to call it as revolting as I find it as much as it irritates the hell out of me Lamb was straight. I am his twin flame. I have no idea what the fuck he did or a butt I mean I’m not going to be able to figure it out, if people just keep bullshitting me and there’s nothing I can do.” says Lacey.

“ I agree.” says Zelensky.

“ she didn’t know about my apartment. She had me living somewhere else. She actually did see supernatural inside of that other apartment and I wanted to show her my other apartment that was the historic mansion but I was not able to do that.” says Lem. “ you’ve confuse the fuck out of her. I thought I was gay, but I actually wasn’t at all in and I just acted and believe just thought I was some of my pictures looks actual some of my some of the things that I did over the years were very sexual, but they’re not. I knew how to act gay, but I actually wasn’t.

Jack once bothered me about not being a ladies man I just couldn’t hurt women like that. But the reason he did, that is because I could be with women, and he knew that. Even if I said stuff, why would you assume that he was just in denial about me?” says Lem.

“ because why would he say that otherwise?” says a woman.

“ hey because he was taunting me, and he was trying to convince me to very manipulative manipulative way to never leave him for a woman so he knew that I wanted to and his way of handling that was to sort of talk about it and sensationalize it, because it had the effect, then of sort of dissuading me because I hated being controlled by him so and anyone would have that reaction so it’s like why don’t you go do that so you should go do that I understand why you don’t do that about something someone really wants to do it starts to make them not want to do it think about it like it even if you want to go shopping if someone were to come up to you and say why don’t you just go shopping you just go shopping now you start thinking about all the reasons why you should go that’s what he was doing to me. He was manipulating me and not wanting to do it.” says Lem.

“ I am did you ever give him dirty messages?” says a woman.

“ no I did not know not really not in any real way psychologically OK he may have sort of coerced me into saying things to him but there were never any real messages that I actually met. I can guarantee that 100% OK? But I would claim that there weren’t really any at all. I did talk about things that were graphic on occasion possibly but it was never quite as sexual as you might want it to be it was not sincerely sexual. I felt nothing for him. It was all a sort of esoteric idea because I thought I was gay. And the truth is even if I was attracted to men at all, I am stuck saying that I wasn’t at all because of what happened to me, and I am not in hell, but it was a living hell if I was because I am madly in love with her, and I was not Entirely gay if I was at all and she would’ve been my ideal woman. Truthfully, though I really was actually entirely straight.” says Lem.

“ the thing is if this is rubbish that I am either with his clone sincerely or some other ghost there’s no way that there’s any living man available. I almost guarantee it so if it’s not him, it’s probably like I said his clone essentially or someone someone else who is being very patient, so then what is it that you want me to do if it’s not him I could easily be with emperor Constantine I could be with some British aristocrats I could be with Louis Hill, Junior or Michael although I kind of doubt those people it’s far more likely a British aristocrat or Constantine. Oh, and then that’s the thing. What do you want for me if I misunderstood something that I’ve been told or if I don’t have all the evidence there’s nothing I can do about that Bobby. I don’t know.

So if he was the scoundrel and he’s fooling me, or if he was obviously gay, it would never be interested in me for some other reason, then I don’t know that, but as far as I can tell, there is no evidence to suggest that he would be with Jack, or that he was even care at all. There really isn’t there’s no evidence that’s really rocksolid for either of those two things you’re not talking to an average person I am I usually brilliance possibly I might be smarter than You. I think you’re used to women that are Cox without a spine. I am not one of those people you don’t know me.

I don’t think you like me. I think you think I was a party and boring and deep and I am a body in a way that’s edifying and glorious and I am deep and if I am boring to you then, so be it what are you escaping from? Why can’t you just Enjoy anything OK drugs really are not that intellectually stimulating they’re actually quite stuff boring and of themselves I’m too smart for them so if you want to have a real conversation with someone who you’re threatened by who is intensely serious and difficult we can do that that’s who I am no I am incredibly feminine, and I could be very sweet and playful and giddy. If people are worth a fuck who is knowing me, and then my age or older. If I’ve been loved Bobby and I’m not just talking about hugs from mommy and daddy I’m talking about actual love I might really be a very cheerful pleasant person but whatever the fuck it is you assholes today want for people but that’s not what happened and I am incredibly intelligent and incredibly difficult and I’m not amused.

And who the fuck do you think your uncle was happy Longstocking?” says Lacey.

Silence.

“ I mean my God you imbeciles have this jack ass narcissistic idea in your head that JFK was so innocent and sweet and then he just was climbing a tree flailing his ass in the air and the lamb just grabbed it because he had such a great ass ! Jack’s ass was flat as fuck, people came onto him because they were gullible and boring. I know Jack wasn’t just flailing around in a tree and then let you know just happen to grab his ass and I don’t know why they would’ve called his penis. I mean teachers name unless if there was something kind of mean about his penis that’s a weird thing to call a penis. I mean it’s endless and the problem is I don’t understand what your people think. Jack was up to that he was just it seems like you just think he was this innocent little man who just couldn’t stop having sex with people’s

He just walked out Marilyn Monroe and he sat down next to her and he was like hi and she was in a hurry and she threw her self Adam and then they just started doing stuff because he just didn’t know what to do. He was just way way too overwhelmed because she was huge and he was a tiny little man and she just smother them and he just was overwhelmed Marilyn Monroe raped him. We don’t say that.

Everywhere he wet is the sweet little boy that he was people just ripped up everywhere all the time. And then then he wrote about it because he was a tough kid. And he said listen I am a tough kid you little shit, you and your dirty minds. You’re all just throwing yourselves at me fucking constantly and I’m just everywhere and I just keep getting trapped by all these women and I don’t know what to do. Everywhere I go. I just don’t know how to do.

I mean, there are people who are dependent, but it goes beyond that.

His attitude is not someone who would even be cavalier and confused. He’s just a he’s too much of a predator he’s too he’s too it’s is to an interested. He’s too much of an instigator and it’s sincere. He’s not just someone who is magically getting raped everywhere he goes.

Yeah, that’s just not his psychology, even if he was confused and promiscuous because he was abused by your grandfather or your grandmother I don’t think he was probably quite that lacking. He really was an instigator at least on occasion.

And then that’s the thing and so… how do you make sense of that? Because you people have this narrative that he was just a sweet little man who just kept having sex for some weird reason.” says Lacey.

A reader laughs.

“ I don’t think that’s likely.” says Bobby

“ I don’t think so either. I really don’t. I think he instigated it oh, and then that definitely does point to limping straight. Bobby, I would’ve tried to kill you to potentially sweetie. I would like you to be dead right now potentially if this is a real conversation, you’ve tried to kill me by suffocating me with demons. But you know you and I have a much more honest, healthy relationship. You know I can’t stand you I’ve actually had to argue with you over that because you think I’m attracted to you and you know I do find you attractive, but not really. But no, I’ve told you that I can’t stand you I care about you, but I can’t stand you. 

You’re just so smarmy and smug and conceited and sociopathic. You pretend like you give a shit about people, but you don’t honey I really was sexually involved with your uncle, who apparently was a nutcase. He was in love with his sister, but I was involved with him. I know him there was a special bond between us very slightly that apparently no one had any respect for What I did learn from that sweetheart is that your family is just totally fucked up. You guys really don’t actually care, but you pretend to. And how many times did you let Emily think that you really loved her when you didn’t give a shit?” says Lacey.

“ probably hundreds.” says Bobby.

“ yeah and see I know that when she was mugged outside of Lem’s’s apartment apparently did you give a shit or did she have to fend for herself?” says Lacey.

“ I I cared.” says Bobby.

“ are you? What did she take care of herself initially or not?” says Lacey.

“ no she took care of herself at first emotionally.” says Bobby.

“ oh, yeah, I would believe that whether it’s true or not men like you, I have noticed are worthless and situations like that.” says Lacey.

“ do you know if she’s right there’s something weird going on the problem is your view of reality doesn’t actually match with the facts.” says David Lennoye.

“ do you know what Bobby if someone really loved you would you change for them?” says Lacey mockingly.

“ sweetie he’s an idiot.” says Zelensky.

“ well, yes or no?!?” says Lacey.

“ no.” he says.

“ do you know that’s the mythology you have with him that he hung on because you guys were just so close and laughing and you had so many good times together all those years of caring and support and friendship you were just so damn close when he fell down you always picked him up every time all if you were his rock and he was yours to like when your dad died and then he shot heroin with you and you almost killed yourself several times at least your rock absolutely and it was just it was just come hell or Highwater with your people because you were so damn supportive of each other.” says Lacey.

“ what do you think actually happened?” says Bobby.

“ I think I have not analyzed it.” says Lacey.

Later.

“I think Lem was-

Actually I don’t understand. I don’t understand men well enough in relation to me to know.” says Lacey.

“What is it you don’t understand?” says the CIA.

Lacey thinks.

“Why do they get so quiet?” says Lacey.

Judy Garland looks horrified.

“When?” asks Marc in the future.

She remains silent.

He thinks.

“They aren’t that quiet!” he says.

Lacey exhales sharply.

“But who cares!??” she says. “What difference does it make!?”

“Lacey! They want to fuck you!” says Marc.

“Mmm. They’ve expressed that. …But it’s not…clear. …Do they want to REALLY?” says Lacey.

He thinks. In the future.

“Do we seem distracted and cold?” he says.

“YES.” she says. “It’s so…nothing.”

“What are you expecting?” asks Dr. Moritz.

“Your mental and spiritual presence.” says Lacey.

“I know what she means.” says Lem.

“How!?” yells Cyrus.

“From being around her when men are trying to seduce her.” says Lem.

“I mean…fine.” says a man.

“I wish you had dressed the way you really wanted to because then you’d know what’s going on.” says Marc. “Imagine for a minute that you dressed like you really wanted to and you know what I mean. How would men be treating you?”

“Are you to actually married in an alternate universe if alternate universes exist?” says Ron Howard. 

“Yes!” says Marc.

“I don’t think Ron Howard would treat me any differently. If there’s an Illuminati I think they would treat me the same exact way, which is interesting. Matter-of-fact the way they treat me matches more with that than this actual reality, which is interesting. …I think you would probably be scared of me, and they would be too to a certain extent, but not in a spiritual context. But then what?” says Lacey.

“So…we’re scared. We’re scared Lacey.” says Marc.

“Why are you so scared?” says Lacey. 

“Because you’re not an idiot you’re extraordinarily good looking but you’re not stupid and it’s a very scary combination.” says Marc. “So it’s sort of like what are you thinking? Like what are you thinking all of the time.”

“What could I possibly be thinking that would be all that awful?!” says Lacey.

“Our personality, our mannerisms, our soul? You’re daunting! It’s daunting talking to you because you’re a terrifying person!” says Marc.

“I can’t do anything about that, that’s just the way I am.” says Lacey.

“You’re too good looking. And too smart.

Most men…can’t take it.

If you were stupider or less naturally attractive…it would be better.” he says.

“Okay.” she says.

She thinks.

“How much suffering does God allow?“ Lacey asks the Pope.

“Before He speaks?” says the Pope.

“Yes.” she says.

“Not that much.” he says. “You should be able to hear from Him occasionally at least.”

“Yeah.” says Lacey. “Then it makes no sense.”

She thinks.

“Do men dislike me?” she asks Marc.

“No.” he says.

She thinks.

“I think most people…even historians…are very gullible. Unfortunately.

And they’re happy that way. Sheltered oftentimes. Blissfully unaware of how awful their lives could actually be.

But I’m truly not. …Many haters would love or have loved to assume otherwise. But…I’m actually not.

I’m….extremely not.

Everything In Its Right Place by Radiohead plays.

I’m…dark. I’m…like…death itself. Beautiful and cold. But secretly very warm. At the mercy of Christ. Rational. Stuck on truth. Razor sharp. …Razor sharp. …Deadly.

And yet…so beautiful. And merciful.

And so I watch. Because men are too scared to love me.

And I watch…and observe.

You are…FOOLS. …Zelda Fitzgerald’s beautiful fools.

Manic. Insane. SO STUPID.

*she smiles*

Obsessed with technology. Going nowhere in particular. …So sure…life is meaningless…YET living like everything is in its right place. Living like…everything is fine.

It’s REPULSIVE. And yet…I love you. Because…you’re so human. And I’m actually human too.

But you’re all IDIOTS.

And I’m quite idiot too…compared to God, I’m afraid. Although maybe not as much as most people.

Lem was MISERABLE. …But I bet he kept thinking his lucky star would shine. His ship would come in. …And then Jack died.

1:20

Jack…with his vile body and massive ego…his rape of humanity…would…be…nice. Eventually.

Ha! What a joke.

Jack was UTTERLY USELESS.

Poor man.

People are…losers. And he was cheap worthless shit.

And Lem…poor sod…just kept hanging on. And on. And on. …And he never got nothing.

Not…a thing.

Bobby wasn’t ever going to love him enough either.

He was holding on for NOTHING.

EXCEPT…that’s only if he was gay. Or bisexual or pansexual. …Past a certain point.

He was a man who was…holding on…regardless. But…what do I think really happened?

I think he got disillusioned. …Violently disillusioned. By…the late 1950’s.

And I think he hid it.

And I think…he secretly hated Jack. Before Jack was shot.

If there was a plot to assassinate JFK…I bet he knew…and lied to himself about it if he was gay at all. And…if he was straight…maybe he felt he should go along with it for reasons of national security.

I don’t think he was devastated by Jack’s death. And I don’t think he was gay. …I think historians have gotten that completely wrong.

He was…sexually unhealthy in some way. But he wasn’t gay.

He wasn’t…gay.

I think he felt his life was over. After Jack died. Because he was…morbidly embarrassed by himself. …His whole life had been a waste. And after Jack died…he had nothing to show for himself. There was just…nothing. The money was…not his thing. He could have gotten money easily tons of other ways. Those were very different years. People could make money.

He wanted something that meant something. Something that mattered.

And I think he fell apart. Because he couldn’t figure out how to resuscitate his own life. So to speak.

Was he bisexual? …I doubt it. I think it’s actually far more likely he was straight.” says Lacey.

The song ends.

Like Spinning Plates by Radiohead plays.

“Why do you think he was straight?” asks the CIA.

“Because there’s no way to explain this

any other way.

Do you see his photo? I can’t.

It’s supposed to be the wedding.

…I can’t…find any photo where he looks more sad.

He’s not sad enough here.” says Lacey. “He’s too calm.”

“She’s right. He is too calm.” says a dead man.

“THANK YOU!!” says Lacey, exasperated.

They think.

“And it’s weird he tolerated so much. Especially one-sided oral sex.” says Lacey.

“That is weird.” says Maureen Callahan.

“Is Lem cruel?” asks a woman.

“No.” says God.

“I think he was just straight.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. There’s no way to act your way out of that much pain.” says Marc. “To me he seems…gloomy. Slightly. …But not…heartbroken. Definitely not heartbroken!”

“Is he heartbroken?” says Lacey.

“Mm…no. He’s too happy. …Let’s say he was heartbroken. …He has to look sad!” says Marc.

“Yeah.” says Lacey.

“I think people keep thinking Lacey that there’s somewhere around the whole thing and you and I both know that there’s not.

You’re not like most people and I am not either. If Tom and Rita had raised you, you would’ve gotten into acting. We’re a lot alike in that way. You’re a natural thespian, and every word that you use you’re dramatic.

People don’t think like us. They don’t know that’s not possible the way that you and I do.” says Marc. “There probably actors who would argue with you because they can act sad. You and I can cry and act sad too, when we want to. But that’s not what’s going on in this! Really…there’s no way he would’ve been sad if he was attracted to men at all. She’s analyzed it perfectly, and in the afterlife I do too, and as a very gifted actor, I cannot think of one single way, even if they were not really together at the time where it makes any sense. There’s just something about the trajectory of their relationship and the whole thing. It’s hard to explain quickly, but basically it’s impossible. I don’t think anybody in that circumstance emotionally would ever be able to have been anything other than devastated if they were attracted to men the only way where they were, he couldn’t of been that I could sort of think of was if they were never that close, and they barely knew each other. I don’t think you guys understand how obvious it is at times that people are hurt. I am extremely good at reading people. Lacey is even better. I can tell when someone’s really upset long before almost anybody else can, and she’s even more attuned to such things. Neither of us can read him as being remotely sad enough and we’re not stupid really, there are some people who might think they could do it but they’re not analyzing it as well as we are. I don’t think it’s possible we’re almost anybody in that situation to be happy and less if they really don’t care for some reason. But it Hass to be something dramatic like lack of attraction to men or not knowing him it can’t be some thing like they were fighting or it was a rainy day I mean come on no it’s really not possible I mean you can look at the trajectory of their life like I did, and say it’s not possible but I would argue and Lacey would argue that the most situations like that for those sort of people in that situation or they’re at a friends wedding you can tell if they’ve dated You can tell you can tell if there’s any attraction I don’t think it’s possible even sometimes in platonic friendships for people to be not not not somewhat sad, but I’m trying to say is that it’s not possible there’s no way they were just friends there’s no way that there isn’t some thing going on absolutely not It’s not a thing you people are fucking idiots. You believed five seconds ago that Sexton do anything now we know scientifically that that’s not true but it actually does corresponding she knew that I kind of did but she knew that for a fact almost completely for a fact, you guys aren’t as smart as her and that way I have a feeling that when people are in that kind of friendship it’s not possible, even if it’s platonic for them to really be OK if there’s any possibility of them being together at all even just feel the right gender I don’t think it’s possible

It’s not possible, it’s not fucking possible.

She’s right and frankly he does look straight. I look so much bisexual. She knows that too.

I love that you guys want to believe that things are obvious and that they’re clear in the way that you want them to be but you have to stop you have to stop humor in yourself.

I think it’s possible that lame along with way too much and try to be homosexual. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he literally believes he was for sexual reasons even at times people can get very confused especially if they’ve been molested really they can but he was straight, and I think freight is right I don’t think people can be that much masochistic, and honestly given the whole nature of the whole thing. I highly doubt that he was actually ever sexually pleasure at all that much, I have a feeling that he’s talk to you and that there’s really nothing. Maybe he said a few dirty things to jack over the years but I wouldn’t be so sure I really wouldn’t be. He was trying to be gay that actually is kind of obvious to when you look at him that he’s trying to be gay. It’s not necessarily native to him and him being psycho pathic does not actually explain it. She wondered if it did it doesn’t it really doesn’t and it’s funny how that came up in this latest article you people are obviously talking to her and you’re obviously obsessed and it’s in the comment section people are like why are we still talking about this?

Look him being psycho pathic doesn’t explain it, but he wasn’t even psychopathic. That’s not what happened. He wasn’t cruel the way you want him to be. He hated Bobby he hated Bobby and you guys don’t have enough guts to say that.

No he was straight. He hated Bobby but it bothered him. He wasn’t psycho pathic but that would explain it anyway let’s see what else do you prefer? Psycho pathic still know if someone’s trying to fuck them over and nobody is that masochistic they just start because pain sucks being insulted repeatedly gets old after a while there’s no way that he was anything other than straight and I’m so sick of this!

He was straight he wants he wasn’t a pedophile either he was straight he wasn’t that masochistic. He hated Bobby and I kind of doubt he ever said anything all that sexual talk to Jack and I I have a feeling those pictures were posed I don’t think Jack was particularly good at acting either, because it was obvious that they were posed to me when I looked at them Jack’s obviously acting he’s obviously pretending to be clueless in every photo. Lem looks actually slightly disoriented and it’s real. He also isn’t really being sexual. Jack looks very sexual. Jack looks very fake, but he looks genuinely sexual.

OK, so line was straight why are you people so determined to try to confuse her it’s not working you’re just wasting time.” says Marc.

“ because we’re supposed to torture her.” says Chris Hayes.

“ any particular reason why?” he says.

“ mostly because she offended Chris.” says Bobby.

“ OK she’s not a man so she’s never gonna put you in your place the way that you want her to anywhere it’s never going to happen you’re just gonna have to move on. She’s just not masculine!” says Marc.

Later.

“I need to explain.

This was possibly JFK and Jackie’s chair.

I’m not high but I am drunk. And I’m mad as hell but trying to be funny.

The photo was taken by a friend of mine. A woman. She was trying to take a photo of me looking debonair and kinda sexy. …But I’m not the sexy type. …I don’t actually act sexy that easily. Unless I’m actually feeling sexy. So this just looks…creepy. …Way too personal. As in…not real. Just…posed. You can tell by my hands and arms. It’s so…fake.

I’m next to the photo of Jack. Where he tells me he’s looking forward to me giving him oral sex, basically. …I thought nothing of that until right before I died. Nobody knew what he meant. …The woman taking the photo didn’t know either, believe it or not. It looks like she did. She did not. …I’m supposed to look sexy because I was supposedly gay…and he was my celebrity conquest. Like in “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”, but rated R. …But…I was actually straight so…

I actually did go to Times Square just to watch pornography at 3 in the morning. By myself. All the way from my apartment. I rode subways at times. …Nobody ever mugged me. But I didn’t care if they did.

I wasn’t that great of a decorator. LOOK AT HOW I HUNG PHOTOS. …I did that! That looks AWFUL. …And they’re crooked. …And look at how they’re framed…and how cruddy that lamp is.

I was straight!

I genuinely wasn’t that…person. That was an act.

Look at that lampshade!

…I was straight.

I just really was convinced I was gay.

Listen…Jack and I never had real gay sex. I just…told myself he was…like a spouse. And I did whatever he asked. Within reason. …Because I felt we had sort of committed to each other. In a way. …Like I’ve explained.

Lacey is out of my league. She doesn’t know that anymore because she’s madly in love with me. …But she’s totally out of my league. …She thinks I’m better looking than Elliott. …That’s how genuine in love with me she is.

I really was straight. I led a very weird life. The thing is…what if I had been gay? Or bisexual? …How do you know…I wouldn’t prefer her? …Her sense of decorating is…my idea of Heaven. Really. I tried to create it. But her way of doing things is…sublimely elegant and yet inherently cozy. It’s not an easy thing to master. But to her it’s as simple as can be. She’s brilliant at decorating. …According to my tastes, I suppose. …But that’s the thing. It’s not decorating. It’s just…her. …I wouldn’t have died easily in a house she decorated. Even with her missing from it. But that’s not even possible. If I saw her decorating I’d want to meet her.

…Lacey is mine.

That’s a VERY SILLY PHOTO OF ME. But she’s mine anyway. She’s MINE. …Forever. …I don’t care if I was straight, gay or pansexual. Bisexual! Whatever. Nobody is like her. Nobody is her equal. She means more to me than anyone. Jack, Bobby, anyone. …And I’m heterosexual now. Okay? Forever. Just with her.

I actually was straight though. Really.

…So…Bobby.

Right now Lacey is drinking hot lemon tea. Worried for the safety of her family. Because Bobby had some idea to test the immunity of birds to Bird Flu. …I’m working constantly right now on ending the life of my kids and Lacey and Mark. Ways to quickly end their lives. …Because the likelihood that something terrible is going to happen is very high. It’s never been higher.

And see…that’s why I was trying to kill him. This is why I took drugs with Bobby. …My intent was to get him addicted and possibly kill him…using his own vices. Let him fall into his own trap. Except…it didn’t work.

I did care about him. But in a very patronizing way. And he just never caught on. Nobody did. …Lacey would have. But most people did not. …I was angry. I did have rage. …I was a heterosexual living the hellish life of an impossible gay man. A gay man with no boundaries. No sense of concern for his own self. Almost at all. …And I didn’t understand how awful my life had really been until I was almost dead.

Why was I stuck with them? Because I felt scared to leave. …My family had been threatened. Many times. First by Jack. Then by his father. By Bobby Senior. …By Ted. Eunice. …I was stuck with them because I was trapped. By them. That was code for trapped…or my way of trying to explain it. …I was trapped.

…I wasn’t a groupie. I was being viciously used.

…By the 1970’s I was ready to let them all die.

…Any questions?” says Lem.

“Did you say sexual things to Jack?” says a man.

“Yes. …But no. …Not really with the idea of arousing him.

I…read his letters like I read Playboy. …They didn’t make me jealous. …I didn’t enjoy them. But they didn’t make me jealous. And in a way I did enjoy them. Because I loved the thought of me being with a woman too.” says Lem.

“Did you ever make-out with Jack?” asks a man.

“No. …No. I hated kissing him. And he was very hurt by that.” says Lem.

“Why did you make love to Bobby?” asks a reader.

“I never did.” says Lem.

“Did you like anything about being gay?” asks a woman.

“No! …I’m not gay. …I demonstrated that I can dress reasonably well and decorate decently. Cook well enough. …And that’s about all.” says Lem.

Later.

“Why didn’t you get sick of them?” says Lacey.

“I was trapped.” says Lem. “I got very trapped.”

“Are you really out of my league?” asks Lacey.

“No! You’re out of my league.” says Lem.