“Bad” by Lem

Was I gay? Was I straight?

I was straight. But you know…I’ve chosen Lacey as my “twin flame” either way. We’re together for eternity. And God is allowing it. He’s celebrating it. …I’m not in Hell.

Why is Lacey questioning my sexual orientation? Because I exist. …And I’ve declared that I love her. …And for the last three years she’s been doing nothing…but making an argument to demons or dead people or the Illuminati or something…that it’s remotely possible. …That’s all this is.

All this is…is her trying to prove to people that I exist…as a ghost…and that she’s hearing from me…and that I am her “twin flame”. That’s really all she’s doing. …There is no point in the argument, to her, beyond that. …That’s really all she cares about.

And I could have avoided it all…all of the HELL she’s lived through trying to argue I was straight…if I could have just been able to tell her why I love her more than anyone. But she’s been too attacked. She patiently listens to hear from me and she can’t hear me. Because she’s being too attacked.

Who’s attacking her? Very possibly the Kennedys. Both dead and alive. Demons. Living people who hate her. A ton of evil hearted living people.

And so now gay marriage might be overturned. And it could have been avoided. But she just couldn’t hear from me. And the Liberals in America have made homosexuality the same as pedophilia. They’ve grouped all of them together and made flags. So…there’s nothing I could do, regardless.

Yes…whether I was straight or gay…I’ve had to help conservatives. And…it’s very possible Bobby became a Trump character because of that.

She cares about Bobby because she’s trying to figure out if I’m worth a damn. She cares about all of my life because she wants to analyze me. She wants to discern who I was.

That’s all.

Later.

That’s really all.

She’s just trying to figure me out.

…My house in New York City was far more grand than she expected. I’ve tried to show her it but…it’s not worked. She saw a mansion in Duluth instead. …And her immediate reaction was to worry she wasn’t good enough for me according to my standards. But then she thought of her father’s wealth and my upbringing and she felt better. …Except her father is Old Money New York. And so is Louis. So…then I had to compete with Louis. …Because Elliott and Louis do think more like Lacey than most people. And her cozy yet sublimely elegant decorating is part and parcel with her father’s background. The James J. Hill mansion is more her style than my old house.

And that’s the problem. You’re all too obsessed with Jack and Casi to realize that she exists. …And she’s a real ditz. …And her fascination with me is eternal. …You keep going back and forth about homosexuality and wealth. And you’re all thinking you’re winning. But that’s your conversation. …Her conversation has been lost…because she’s too tenderhearted and genuinely ditzy to remember. She’s not stupid. She’s ditzy. …And she’s forgotten for years…that her concern with my orientation is entirely about whether or not I can love her and she can love me.

So if there’s an Illuminati…Bobby posts shit like the Daily Mail article…using his media connections in the Illuminati. …And the Illuminati thinks it’s “won” something. They think by making her question if I was straight that much…that they’re winning. That she’s like JFK except poor and stupid and ugly (she’s none of those things) and that if they can just fluster her enough she’ll flip out and they’ll lose. …But in REALITY…I’m VASTLY more concerned by the fact that I lived next to Harold Loeb. …Because the only reason she cares about my sexual orientation to the degree that she does…is because we’ve made love. Passionately. Many times. …And I KNOW he’s still in love with her. So is Louis. …And they’re cutthroat men. When they want to be.

And every time the US media, if there’s an Illuminati, attacks her…trying to use me…Harold and Louis are right there. …Especially Harold. So is Michael. So is Elliott. Reaching out to her. Offering her a safe haven.

…And I remind her that even if I was gay…and in love with Jack…I could still be in love with her. Ready to argue with her to convince her to “take me back” forever. …And the US media freaks out. Accuses her of being “a liar”.

“You’re CHEAP! …You pretend to care about his orientation…but really you’re a sell-out!” yells some hateful Boomer male.

No. No she’s not. He just has no idea what she’s really thinking. …And she’s shattering his narcissistic delusion.

If there’s an Illuminati…they’ve attacked her based on a presumption made in 2016. It was absolute bullshit. But they’ve not been able to let go of it. They’re like Casi. Should they exist.

Lacey’s family is rich. And extremely intelligent. And white. …Chris Hayes and Erin have nothing on her. Socioeconomically. But they were narcissistically offended by her. Specifically those two. …And so the entire freaking Illuminati rushed to their defense. …Lacey has yet to fathom almost at all why any of these people hate her. …She’s so elite…and so saintly…she genuinely can’t grasp it. But they can’t handle that reality.

Why? Because Erin is white trash and so is Chris. In their backgrounds. …But so are most of the Illuminati.

Lacey…imagines…that the entire Illuminati is comprised of Audrey Hepburn…Lord Rothschild…the Roslynns…Queen Elizabeth II…and Norwegian kings and queens. Maybe a noble Arab sheik. Some Japanese prince. …Not Hollywood. Not Hollywood of today. …But that’s primarily who’s in it. New Money. She can’t believe that. She just can’t!

And that’s not stupid. …By attacking her in her conversation with me…the homosexuals in America are about to lose their legal marriages. Because she is Old Money. And…the Illuminati reaction to that is to attack her more. …But that’s…illogical bullshit. …They’re having problems because they keep attacking her. …So the way to get rid of their problems isn’t by attacking her more. But…in order to realize that…they have to admit Old Money actually means something. …And they have yet to do that.