“Lacey’s Family” by Lem

Lacey’s family is complicated. The one she was raised in, that is.

Some people have a hard time understanding why she cares about Old Money. But the reason why is because she is real Old Money but the perfume community didn’t treat her like she was and it was actually genuinely offensive. They mostly still (not all) have yet to understand why she was so offended. She has her reasons though, and…they’re actually very good reasons.

Part of the reason why she was so upset…is because she was raised in a WEIRD Old Money family. …They are real Old Money…but they don’t associate with other Old Money people in any open sense. They’re very quiet about their wealth and their family’s past. And they always downplay their prestige and privilege, which is actually very genuinely Old Money but it’s also very isolating. …Many of them have struggled to find mates…not just Lacey…and are struggling…because they don’t know enough Old Money people who are like them.

A few of them have gone to really good schools like Harvard but often they don’t go anywhere other than North Dakota schools. They are very meek in the education choices that they make. Add the schools that they pick are decent schools and they do well but they don’t go to prestigious schools regularly. So that’s one way of meeting people who think like them that they don’t have. And they also do not join yacht clubs or country clubs. And there are people who could actually there are many people who could. They tend to do niche things and in a way, that’s more elite. Their activities in skiing and hiking and Lacey‘s interest in perfume are all very elite. as in they spend a lot of money, and they do the best of everything. Lacey doesn’t go to Perfume fairs or gatherings because she doesn’t like dealing with people who hate her, but they are not quite so scared of people because most of them haven’t been so bullied the way that she has by people in life and so many of them are very social in niche elite circles. But that’s not necessarily the best way to find people. And to be really honest with you, Lacey would be a very good hunter and it’s not unlikely that had she been at the right place at the right time she would’ve met Donald Trump Junior and he would’ve thought she was very attractive. But that isn’t typical. I mean…they do find people who are like that who are extraordinarily wealthy here and there. But they don’t go to the places where people in my family would go or went and they don’t meet people like me hardly ever. Actually I should correct myself they do in a sense but they don’t at the same time. So they isolate themselves and they find some people who they can associate with who are rare people, but they don’t get exposed to a lot of people like that. And it’s hard to find people who think like you when you isolate yourself from people who are like you.

Matthew had a very hard time, finding a wife who is well suited to him. So did his aunt. And actually quite a few of them have had a hard time finding people who are good, looking, intelligent well off people. But the reason why is because being old money and thinking like that, gives you a very different perspective on everything. And it’s sad in a way because everyone should have the insight that they have but they don’t and in a way it’s not sad because it’s just different. It’s not always better. And so the mannerisms that they understand amongst each other, and the way that they perceive the world is hard to find for them because they don’t have a lot of people to associate with. They’re very isolated people. They’re extraordinarily rich in a way that’s very rare with all of the oil, but they’re extremely isolated at the same. Coming from a prestigious silversmith background, and then getting all of that oil within 100 years is very rare. And they have a knighted author that they’re related to through Lacey and there are other prestigious people who they are associated with as well. And they’re a very elite old money, family. But they are very depressed and frustrated people because they don’t have the friends often or the spouse that they need to survive. And why Gunhild did things that way is interesting to me. I suspect that it’s Scandinavian and Christian. but it’s frustrating to me because I love Lacey and as much as I don’t want to be in a situation where she’s with somebody and I have to watch her be with someone as that would be miserable…I am tortured by her misery and it’s irritating to me and I also care about Matthew. If I was alive obviously she would be with nobody but me. But I am not alive. And and because we can communicate it is not likely if possible at all that she’ll be with anyone, but me, until she is dead. And then she’ll be with me in person so to speak. I don’t think people have processed what they’re reading. I think if there are people reading this blog, they read what I write and take it with a grain of salt and then try to get a psychic reading on Lacey instead of actually hearing what I’m saying.

And there are other people that like Matthew in her family, who are very good looking people, very smart, who are not happy. And it bothers me because I-I just care. And it’s not right. And that’s part of the reason why Lacey got so upset.

She already was upset, I’ll say, for very personal reasons about that particular issue in her life. And when people talked down to her in the perfume community, it was very triggering to her. Because the way that they did it was as if she was poor or stupid in a way that isn’t possible given her background. Oh, and it wasn’t just plain old insecurity and yet it was. It was insecurity, but people chose to believe the worst of her instead of letting themselves think that she might actually be superior to them, or someone who they admire.

This blog was aimed at an intellectual understanding of perfume. That was the original intent. And people respected that to some degree. But at the same time I think they misunderstood her sloppiness and thought that she was lazy when in reality, she was just morbidly depressed, and barely capable of doing what she was even doing. Lacey has literally been suicidal since she was about three years old. And her life has been a living hell in many ways, and in many ways, it hasn’t been compared to some peoples who are worse off and often dead by her age or happier. But for her life has been Hellish. And Matthew killed himself. 

Oh, and I don’t think they understood that this blog and her attempt to be happy, and positive was her being strong for herself. Most people don’t understand how much pain she’s actually always in. Jack’s pain was nothing physically compared to her emotional torture her entire life. And he was in pain, but her pain actually surpasses his and he could’ve almost died, but he had illnesses that created that and he wasn’t necessarily always in excruciating pain. My suffering, with my asthma was actually in some ways, worse than what he went through. And nobody barely ever cared at all. My family did. But a lot of the people who I surrounded myself with did not. And her pain is astounding. Very few three year olds in her generation were suicidal. But she was for completely sane, rational reasons. And no, she’s an astoundingly good mother. She really is. She is extremely cautious with her children to never raise her voice to never not raise her voice. She’s a perfectionist as a parent, and yet it’s totally natural and she is an excellent mother. But that is part of her misery that she gives and puts out a lot and yet there’s not a great support system for her. And that’s part of it makes me angry is that there are people who are like her and who were like Matthew but they don’t know those people because they’re so isolated.

Being married to Mark has been helpful for her. Because on his father side, at least there’s real wealth and prestige. And they’ve been very cruel to her over the years but he still was raised in wealth. And that is his mindset. And so they can relate to each other.

He lets her order room service in the morning for breakfast and it’s not a big deal to him. He understands her need to do gardening and be left alone. And he is intellectual and it’s not pretentious. It’s sincere. He’s a very unusually intelligent person. He’s actually a genius. And yet he’s also very athletic and he’s straight. And so he has a rare combination of traits that are actually more common in the upper class. I was the embodiment of that, but people don’t know that because I thought I was gay and I had very bad vision and asthma. I was capable without asthma, and with better vision of probably being incredibly useful the US military in World War II. And but with my asthma, and with my bad eyesight, yes as my sister said, it was very hard for me to do basic trading. What irritates me, though is that it sounds like I was too gay to be in the military. You know like I was gonna jump every man I ever met, and I could barely run. *I laugh* I mean really that is the way Lucretia makes it sound. But I was attracted to every single man, and I could barely keep myself in check that it was just so complicated for me to figure out how to do anything, because I was such a wimpy, unathletic little artistic homosexual. And that is not at all who I was. I was straight first of all and second of all I was very athletic, but it just wasn’t the way that some men are. and if I had been a little different in someway, you know if I had been a little bit less asthmatic and had better vision I probably would’ve been better at certain sports. Because I was very good at crew. And that actually was part of who I was. And I ruined that because I was trying to be gay and I was trying to be normal and I was trying to have a life in and I was scared of Jack Kennedy. But it’s frustrating to me because I could’ve done so much more.

Oh, and then I look at Matthew and I think why was he so unpopular with women? He he was a good person and that’s not what I’m talking about.  He was genuinely unpopular to some degree.  If he had dated women who were loose, he wouldn’t have been.  But he was having a hard time dating young women who were nice.  And it just reminds me of Lacey and reminds me of a lot of other people in that family.  They don’t have an easy time as I am focusing on in this blog post, hopefully enough finding people. 

And anyway, what irritates me is that people don’t understand how difficult her life is. And they don’t understand how strong she’s actually been her entire life. Because she’s so pretty and she has a good skin care routine and she eats fairly well and so you can’t tell. You can’t tell that she is suffering. I think some people can kind of tell, but not really. And what she needed was for people to have decency and intelligence, and how they related to her. It’s just a hobby. I don’t know why they became so obsessive about her because it doesn’t make sense.

She is irritatingly perfect. But she said she was sad on her block and for someone to be so into something like perfume or really any hobby to that degree when they say they’re sad you probably need to just leave them alone instead of picking at them. That’s just common sense. Yes, she was privileged and honestly, she was better socioeconomically than everyone in the community. But that’s not something to focus on. And I would think that if you saw her saying things like I am sad on her blog, you would have enough common sense to realize that even though she’s privileged, she’s probably genuinely sad.

But instead, Casi confronted her and said, how the hell could you be sad you’re so privileged. In her comment section, she literally said what the hell do you have to be so sad about not verbatim, but that’s essentially what she said. She had a lot to be sad about, but it was all very personal and obviously she didn’t want to share that with Casi or anyone else. And instead of being freaks about it, they should’ve realize that that wasn’t their place to go around assuming that she was full of shit. That’s a very weird thing to do!!! And I know what happened, but I have a very hard time talking to her about it because it’s so fucking weird! People like her can be sad. People who have money can actually be very sad sometimes. And it’s for real reasons. And you might not even be better than that they might be strong people and you might just not have anything better than them and you might just have to get over it. And you might just have to realize that actually they’re just sad. Why- And this is what irritates me as a human. Why didn’t that make Casi happy? Why didn’t that make any of those hateful people in that community happy!? They couldn’t stand Lacey they were very jealous of her. They were incredibly insecure and you’d think being so dark hearted that Casi would’ve enjoyed the fact that Lacey was miserable. You would think they’d find some sad comfort in the fact that this privilege woman who is so beautiful, and so smart and so pretty, and so feminine and so straight, and yet so down to earth, was miserable. But they didn’t! They found no dark comfort in the fact that she was genuinely suffering. And instead, I think those people tend to imagine that she’s not really suffering at all. They seem to think that her being cheerful is her being psychotic and bitchy and stupid when really, it’s her being incredibly upset and trying desperately to survive. There’s a difference between being in denial about how bad life is, and being two steps away from shooting yourself and she’s the latter not the former you dumbass.  she need to know great awakening people who sings that are misunderstanding, her righteousness indecency as a person, and thinking that nobody could be that much more moral and God than they are because they’re so fucking self righteous!  Where they just never gave a shit about anyone but themselves. Lacey is prettier than a lot of those people, and she is far better looking than Jack. And people like Jack feel sorry for themselves, because they think the world owed them physical superiority to everybody even naked. And when they take their clothes off and they look like shit, it’s hard for them to accept that about themselves.  and being narcissistic, they can’t just be meek and inferior to other people they have to find someway to make it so that it’s not interpersonal and inter-relational it’s them finding some secret way to feel superior, even though they’re really not.  They are not superior. 

No…Casi is not superior. And you know I wish they understood her misery because it’s it’s hard for me to believe that they’re that disgusting. At least not all of them. And it’s sad and it’s sick that they would enjoy her being miserable, but it would make sense. It would make sense if they could understand how awful she actually feels and enjoy it because that’s the kind of people that they are unfortunately. But it seems like they can’t process that or even remotely understand it. And maybe some of them wouldn’t enjoy it because they’re not that terrible but it kind of seems like they are and I don’t understand why they can’t just enjoy it.

I’m not saying that they should I’m not saying that that’s a good thing. What I’m saying is it that’s kind of the way that a narcissist works. And I don’t know why they couldn’t just feel superior because they were not so sad and just think I’m not that downtrodden. I’m not superior to her in other ways but boy is she sad compared to me and sadly just kind of enjoy that, and leave her alone. And it’s not a good thing, but she told you she was had on her blog. I don’t understand why people chose to question it instead of just understanding it, and thinking what I just said.

It seems to me like you people are off the rails, psychopathic. Like it’s not enough that she’s just miserable you needed to find some way to make her more miserable because it was fun to torture her?  And you realized that she was so positive because she was actually old money and the irritated you and you couldn’t just leave it alone.

Matthew was very stoic. Lacey is very stoic. You needed to just leave her alone, 

Right now, as we speak, she’s struggling so damn much. It is psychologically impossible for me to have been anything other than straight. But she has been so gaslit by people who don’t take her seriously enough so it’s very hard for her to except that she knows something that David Pitts couldn’t figure out. And also, she wouldn’t know if I hadn’t told her, and she forgets that. There are demons and dead people and living people who are not letting her process reality right now. And they’re all unfortunately either Kennedys or people who are bigoted or people who are in the LGBTQ community. there are a lot of bigoted people who think I’m a demon, or that there’s no way that I was straight and there’s no way that Jack was gay. And that’s absurd. There’s tons of evidence to suggest I was straight and some of it is actually irrefutable. there is evidence suggests that Jack was bisexual that is also irrefutable. But she is in a terrible place because she can’t accept not really that she knows something that other people can’t possibly know.

Because she’s actually an incredibly tender hearted, meek person. And she can’t believe that she is special enough or rare enough to know something that most people don’t know. She is not the narcissist. I’m sorry. but she does know some thing that people don’t know and that’s that I was straight. I wasn’t really gay at all. And if you can’t comprehend that or handle that concept, you’re not as intellectual as you think you are.

I did not relish, giving Jack massages that was Rip Horton misunderstanding me. I was not in possession of a dirty mind for Jack. We did not have make out sessions that were any good if we had any at all. I tried making out with him once or a few times and each and every time it was absolute shit. And maybe not to him, but in reality, and to me, it was. It’s interesting though, because I’ve had a very hard time kissing Lacey since we first started. He and Jack was very angry about it the first time we kissed. That was over three years ago, and it was me, and and it was not somebody else, and it was very passionate. But I wouldn’t say it was any better than probably a lot of what she’s experienced with other men the only difference would’ve been that I was in love with her, and she was in love with me. I I was never in love with Jack to that degree and if I had been, I probably would’ve killed myself, not followed him around like a puppy dog. When you love somebody that much and they discard you it screws you up very very badly. But it’s a rare sort of love. And I’m not better at kissing than most people. He was talking about oral sex when he said that, but he was also talking about a sort of idea that he had in his head about me that wasn’t reality. and the oral sex that I gave him was very mechanical I didn’t do rim jobs. I didn’t do any of that stuff that men do nowadays I was really just giving him oral sex. I didn’t have any desire for him, and I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t have any desire for him. So if I had been that go to the kisser, I would never been this happy at his wedding, as I was. And if I had desire for him to that degree, I would never have been that happy at his wedding. It’s not possible! So then you have to realize that that’s bullshit. If I had this dirty mind and really wanted sex with him again, I would’ve been sad at that wedding, and I wasn’t. And I would’ve been sad in a sexual and romantic way over him and I wasn’t. I wasn’t sad enough at his wedding! I could go on and on and on, but I’m not going to because Lacey needs to eat dinner. So what else should I add? Let’s see I was angry when I said that I would rather have been married. I was being sarcastic and trying to say that I would rather have been married.

Later.

“You know I actually get why he’s so confused. Because I don’t know why you guys could just let him be bisexual. That’s really weird! I mean really WEIRD.

Hey, I mean I’m sorry but I think people got hurt that he’s basically rejecting Jack. But I don’t think that they’re intelligent enough to just say that. She’s never going to figure out that that’s what’s bothering Bobby or anybody else in that family. And Jack is never going to tell them that. And I don’t think that Lem is able to tell her that he suspects that. I don’t think it’s likely that he was completely gay. because if you listen to what he said, he said, I could have married a woman and I don’t think he meant it in his closeted way. I think he was trying to say what he genuinely thought he was capable of. I myself am bisexual, and I experience a lot of hate. And women like Lacey who don’t care are amazing. And I don’t know why you’re choosing to be so negative towards the fact that she is straight and feminine and intelligent enough to understand what a bisexual is. I think she thinks that some women are bisexual when maybe they’re not but she’s better reading men than women. And I mean, can we get over that she likes men it’s if it’s of interest to her I don’t think that’s weird.

And I think you people are just trying to torture her but I don’t think you understand that it doesn’t really work.

She has had a sexual relationship with Vladimir Putin. And I don’t think it’s typical and I don’t think you understand. You’re talking to a very feminine ditzy woman when you talk to her.

She is not going to read your mind the way that a man would. I think Lem probably had to have been straight. Because I think someone like her who is ditzy, but very likely a supergenius could probably figure something like that out. Because it’s very complex emotionally and psychologically but she is that smart in that way. What she misunderstands our people’s intentions in other ways. I mean she understands the ego. She understands human psychology to like a genius level. But what she doesn’t understand or how people feel about her. . And that’s not stupidity that’s a lack of nurturing and love. So you’re never gonna get out of her what you want because she’s ditzy and she’s not been loved. Her dizziness, though is not stupidity. So it’s kind of like she can make a five course gourmet dinner, serve it perfectly and be dressed impeccably and said that set the atmosphere even in a way that’s exquisite and not everyone can do that. But what she doesn’t understand is that not everyone can do that. If she were to analyze someone, she would know that not everyone can do that. But in that moment, when she’s doing all this for people, she thinks everyone can do it to some degree probably. And that’s how she’s ditzy. So it’s sort of like this isn’t that special. I mean it’s special, but it’s not that special. But that’s not stupid. It’s really not. Really it’s ditzy. it since it’s almost cognitively, clumsy but clumsiness is different than stupidity.

She’s cognitively clumsy, but she’s a genius. So she is cognitively awkward. She’s not an elegant thinker. Like some people have an elegant mind, and so when they think things through, it’s in this very elegant sort of way. The way that she thinks is brilliant, but it’s awkward. And so she doesn’t she doesn’t finish college, but she ends up discovering the actual illuminati. She doesn’t finish college, but she manages to predict Vladimir Putin’s psychology better than most expert. I mean her understanding of foreign relations is hilariously genius. She’s brilliant to an extraordinary degree and yet she didn’t finish college. And so at times I’m sure her thinking frustrates other people but I don’t think it probably frustrates her because she is a genius. And she’s ditzy not stupid, so it’s very feminine, and very sort of silly and playful and feminine. And I am sure in the 1950s and I’m sure with Lem it’s probably really fun. him but nowadays, it’s not really socially acceptable to be that ditzy and be a woman unless if you’re extremely perfect looking and you don’t care if you’re being overtly sexual. I don’t think she likes being that openly sexual because I think she feels like there’s something way too personal about it with people who you don’t know. And so I think she chooses to be quiet about her sexuality which is heterosexual because she doesn’t want to be that open with people.

So I think if the Kennedys are mad that Lamb doesn’t love, Jack or never dead, they’ll have to tell her that if they ever want her to know that that’s what they’re actually feeling. And they don’t even have to say it in a way like they’re asking for her sympathy or like they even care because they don’t need her to understand that degree. They’re just trying to express themselves in a way where they can actually be understood. She’s very intelligent but no, she is clumsy.

So what if people are angry at her for some reason you’re going to have to just tell her what it is that’s bothering you. I have a feeling I know what it is and I think some people have come really close to just telling her but I don’t think they have the heart to admit that she could be that different than what they thought she was. Because if she is who she actually is then I am bisexual. I’m not gay. And Lem was straight and Harold Loeb might not have been an idiot. Maybe F Scott Fitzgerald wasn’t a narcissistic idiot. I think there are a lot of things connected to thinking that she is who she is. And I think it’s sad that people have chosen to attach all that to her just being herself.” says Logan.

“I just did not enjoy someone being so privileged. And then not caring how it would affect me.” says Casi.

“Why was I supposed to care?” says Lacey.

“This is an intellectual question case if you’re wondering.” says Matthew Perry.

“Because Lacey it hurts me!” says Casi.

“That is not right!” says Lacey. 

“She means intellectually!” says Matthew Perry.

“Do you see it as a boundary issue Lacey?” says a Canadian.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“OK but it’s still bothers me.” says Casi.

“And what am I supposed to do about that?” says Lacey.

“Is Mallory Keaton kind of like Lacey?” says a man.

“Lacey at her worst is like that like that character but she’s not narcissistic like Mallory but I think they think slightly similarly.” says an actress.

“OK but Lacey it’s irritating.” says Casi.

Lacey waits. “Oh nevermind I’m supposed to say something. …Yes it is irritating! But that’s not, but that’s not my problem.” says Lacey smiling.

“Was there a nicer way that you could do it?” says Casi.

Lacey thinks. “You know I was tired of being so nice. Because I think in the back of my mind, I don’t think people appreciate it and something about it just really irritated me.” says Lacey.

“So you you didn’t feel like you were appreciated when you used to be more careful about sharing your wealth?” says Casi.

“Yeah but I feel underappreciated in every way. And I am. And so I got sick of it and just decided to start being really brazen in people’s face because I just was too fucking sick of it.” says Lacey.

“What were you expecting them to do?” says Suzanne.

“Probably just leave me alone and give me a lot more respect because it seems like they respected people who were privileged. And praise. So acceptance praise and respect, but you know mostly probably for them to just back off. Stop bullying me, stop harassing me just leave me the fuck alone for once in my life if that’s how I should say it.

I have been bullied since I was a little girl starting with my parents. And I think I thought that if I was more brazen about stuff that people would catch on and I might get praise but I don’t think I was necessarily after that because I actually don’t like that much attention. I think I was more after just respect. I think I just wanted to be respected and I do get respect but I don’t mean that kind of respect I mean respect in a way where it’s like, I’m not beneath people and they don’t just expect me to be a doormat.” says Lacey.

“You sound a frightening them out like Mallory!” says Bobby.

“Well no shit, Sherlock!!!” yells a demon who works with the Kennedys.

“Lacey did I offend Bobby at the Cecil?” says Patti.

“I think if he’s not a demon that you did slightly, yes. I think he was expecting you guys to talk to him and actually have a real conversation just for a few minutes. But I understand that you need to be safe, but I think I think he was really putting himself out there to try to relate to you guys if he wasn’t a demon.” says Lacey.

“She’s right!” says Elisa.

“He was very neglected. That’s part of the reason why he started using drugs.” says a friend of his.

“When did he die?” asks Patti.

“If he’s not a demon, and a real person he died in the late 1960s of a drug overdose and on that floor that you were on. It was a really awful time in his life, and he lost his mind and just overdosed. He liked a sense of self in a way and a lot of self-esteem, which is why he acted the way that he did around people.” says God.

“That’s the one thing about ghost hunting shows that really irritates me is that you guys don’t realize that you’re talking to real people.” says Lacey.

“What was up with that room are at the upscale hotel in Los Angeles?” says a man.

“This is not the kind of respect that she needs to get. People know she’s smart. I asked her about Bobby because they don’t always wanna admit that she’s a person and not just a brain.” says Patti.

Chatter.

“But I mean they are strangers so I try to keep that in mind too.” says Patti.

“Fair!” says Lacey.

Later.

“I’m sorry. But I just can’t not…share anything.” says Lacey to Casi.

“Could you have just been nicer?!?” says Casi.

Lacey thinks. “What is nicer?”

“Mm. …Yeah. …Nicer is…

Just nicer.” says Casi.

“I think Lem was straight!” says a ghost in Lacey’s hallway.

“Why don’t you know what nicer is!?” says Casi.

“Because it’s not…simple. …I kind of get what you mean. …But that’s deep. …That’s deep emotional stuff for me. Because to be nicer I have to do a lot of emotional work. …And it requires me to analyze myself in places of my psychology that I’m not used to analyzing.

Because I was nice. …But you mean nicer in a particular way.” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says Casi.

“Here’s the thing: WHO ARE YOU?” says Lacey. “Why…should I have to be kind…to that degree…to someone who’s not necessarily deserving of it? There’s kindness and then there’s going too far. …So who are you!?” says Lacey.

“It’s just hard to see your stuff.” says Casi.

“I wish I could understand what you mean.” says Lacey. “What do you mean?”

“You can’t be serious!??” says a perfume collector reading.

“No. She’s very serious.” says Lem.

“So…we don’t have a house.” says Casi to Lacey.

Lacey thinks. “You mean you’re homeless or you mean you’re living in an apartment?”

Casi laughs. “Apartment!” says Casi.

“Okay???” says Lacey.

“I’m poor!!!” Casi yells at Lacey.

Lacey just silently waits.

“Did we really never explain this!??” says Lacey’s uncle.

“Explain what?!” says Lacey.

“Casi is sad. …Because Casi-“ says Casi.

“You’re not explaining!!!” yells a British woman at Casi.

“Yeah. I’m…lost.” says Lacey.

“I guess I’m not that insightful.” says Casi.

“What the fuck are you expecting her to do!?” says Dr. Moritz.

“Okay…so…we’re just poor. …And…that’s who we are.” says Casi.

“No. That’s a part of who you are. …I mean WHO ARE YOU!?” says Lacey. “Why do I have to try so hard to be nice!?? …I’ve NEVER met anyone who’s given A SHIT about me to that degree. …I mean…only possibly my birth father? Maybe Lem? …Most people don’t give A SHIT about my feelings to that degree AT ALL! …AT…ALL. …And I’m a REALLY good person. To be blunt. And who THE FUCK are you…just because you’re POOR to expect me to care THAT MUCH!?” says Lacey.

“She’s right. …I’ve not even cared that much. …And I’m her soulmate.” says Louis. “Or was.”

“Very few people have ever cared that much about her.” says a dead Rosslyn.

“We can still kill her and her family. Just a reminder.” says Lord Rosslyn from the 1870’s.

“What exactly are you thinking we’re asking for!?” asks a perfume collector.

“Incredible consideration. For your feelings.” says Louis.

“What would you do!?” asks Casi of Lacey.

Lacey thinks. “Who are you!?”

“A nurse. Who has to work hard to pay for her perfume.” says another woman.

Lacey thinks. “How about this? …I realize that none of you give A SHIT about me AT ALL. …And I give up trying?” says Lacey.

“Love it!!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald, sincerely.

Lacey sighs. Lays backward. Closes her eyes. In 2015. At twilight on her terrazzo floors. Empty apartment.

“WOW! …People are…HATEFUL.” says Lacey to F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“They don’t care!” says Scott. “BEEN THERE.”

“Except I do.” says Lacey.

“But you’re kinda different. …You just didn’t know it.” says Scott.

“I’m sorry.” says Lacey. “I didn’t know I wasn’t like them. …Sorry!”

He laughs.

“Gosh. I’m just Harold’s soulmate. …Sorry.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. He was my friend.” says Scott. “You should care.”

“And I do.” says Lacey.

Louis arrives.

“Scott…why does it bother us so much!?” says Lacey.

“Because we’re wise. …And we understand the importance of being loved.” says Scott.

“THAT IS…SO YOU!” says Lacey. “You’re such a genius!”

“I am.” says Scott.

Silence.

“I have no idea how American democracy is supposed to work…if I can’t be angry online in some…stupid way…and have one person care.” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says Scott.

“People analyze people all of the time! …I’ve seen it so often. …And all I wanted, possibly, was for just one person to analyze me. …And get it right. …But it was an entirely subconscious request. …Because I’m in excruciating pain. Constantly. …And I think I just wanted some…insight. Something.” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” says Hemingway.

“Is Scott okay?” says Lacey.

“Yes!” says God.

“Anyway…you’re right!” says Scott.

“I’m still waiting.” says Lacey.

“What specifically do you mean?” asks the nurse of Lacey.

“I’m angry. …I’m a deeply angry person. But it’s…deep. …So…it’s not meant to be shown towards any one particular person. …And I’m angry for very real reasons. …Very…sad reasons. …So…in a way you’re supposed to know. And in a way you’re not.

What do I mean? Well…how about this? I photograph things very thoughtfully. …And I don’t try to express anything too personal. Personal! But not too personal. …So…my perfume reviews would just be…poetic. But without the…hidden rage. No…high pitched voice. Just…absolute sadness.” says Lacey.

“Would they be as beautiful?” asks Casi.

“Probably more.” says Lacey.

“Then what’s the point of not just doing that?” says Logan.

“It was a subconscious desire to be heard. As a human.” says Lacey.

“I completely understand.” says Scott.

“How subtle was this?!” says Logan.

“Very subtle.” says Casi.

“So she’s not pissy. She’s enraged.” says Logan.

“Indeed.” says Lacey.

“Try another response.” says Scott.

“Correct.” says Lacey.

“Try again!” says Scott.

Lacey thinks. “You have that figured out!”

“Nothing more friendly?” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“He’s correct. And I’m trying to be kind and give him that.” says Lacey.

She nods.

“So…I’m poor. …And…if you did that…I don’t think I’d care.” says Casi.

Lacey thinks.

“Why are you posting?” asks Greg Boyd.

“She’s already told you!!!” yells God.

“Casi…if I made it less…personal…you’d feel less bothered. Right?” says Lacey.

“WHAT!?!” says Casi.

“WHAT IN HELL IS SHE ACTUALLY MAD ABOUT!?” says Lacey.

“Do you just find her offensive because she’s straight and you’re an arrogant conceited bitch about your bisexuality?” says a French woman to Casi.

“Were you just offended by her because she is a combination of intelligence and beauty that you’re not used to seeing?” says Louis. 

“What exactly would you want her to do?” says Franny.

“I had a crush on her. And I imagined that the feelings were mutual when they obviously were definitely not. And I and I think it’s just hard when you have a crush on someone who’s so sad when they reject you because you can’t do anything. And then you start realizing that they’re rejecting you in a really real way and it just hurts and you start hating them.” says Casi.

“The thing is though Casi I don’t find women attractive so I am rejecting you in a way that’s sort of inconsequential.” says Lacey.

“Well what do men have that women don’t?” says Casi.

“They’re men, Casi!! What is so weird to you about me as a woman being straight!?!” says Lacey.

“Why don’t I like you?” says Casi.

“Oh no, I can be very helpful!” says Lacey. “Let’s see why would you not want to be with me? Oh this is fun! I have a wealth of information, which is sad but true. 

How much do you really like feminine women?” says Lacey.

“I mean I like them.” says Casi.

“Thst that doesn’t sound particularly exciting!” says Lacey.

“I mean I find them attractive but you’re right that’s not generally the women who I would’ve gone for.” says Casi.

“Yeah! I mean the way you described Misty she sounded sort of masculine?” says Lacey.

“Yes, she was.” says Casi.

“Well there you go. I’m an extraordinarily feminine woman naturally, so that would be one thing about me that I actually think would probably repel you. I don’t think that you know me as well as you think you do and I think there are many things about me that you might like but I would bet that there are great many things about me that you actually wouldn’t find attractive and that’s where you probably needed to be more careful, because I think you got crushes on people from a distance online and I bet they were somewhat based on reality, but not entirely. So no I’m not the person I think that you thought I was entirely at least because I am entirely straight, and I highly doubt that I am exactly who you thought I was. So there’s probably something about me that you just don’t know about that you just wouldn’t like and then there you go, all is well.” says Lacey. 

“OK but then that was personal to you Casi and basically you just got a crush on a straight person and assumed that they were bisexual. Which probably means that you don’t really know her the way that you thought you did. And that can happen even when you’re first getting to know somebody in person. 

I don’t think Lacey is a flirt, the way that you thought she was and I think that she’s not being taken the way that she means to be taken. I think people misunderstand her.

What does that have to do with wealth!?” says a man.

“Because I just hated her.” says Casi.

“You didn’t really know her though, so you developed a hatred for her based on assumptions that you made, and not based on reality.” says the man.

“Did you not want her to share any of her collection Casi?” says Dr. Moritz.

“ there’s nothing really all that offensive about the way that she shares stuff. And I don’t think you guys are being honest, and I think someone’s going to have to be at some point unfortunately for them. If there is an illuminati, Vladimir Putin, highly suspects that Chris Hayes was channeling, Michael Rockefellers residual energy. And he highly suspects that that’s where this all started. And he highly suspects based on his own attraction to Lacey that Michael would have found her incredibly attractive as well, and that had they had a chance to meet they may have fallen very quickly in love. He made an experiment recently with a hotel worker, who looked like Michael, who showed her to her room when she was checking in, and the man turned beat red, and couldn’t look her in the eye because he found her so attractive. He very strongly resembled Michael…and probably had a similar personality to him as well. And Vladimir Putin suspects that that is ample evidence to suggest based on psychology and genetics that Michael really would have gone after her.

And he strongly suspects that she sincerely thought that Chris Hayes was like Michael Rockefeller in a way that he would never be able to be…because he is in fact not Michael Rockefeller, but Chris Hayes.

What that means is that if there is no illuminati, most of the world has totally fouled everything up. And going after her the way that they did with the lack of maturity and common sense that they did so, was astounding.

And because of what’s happening in the world right now and the impact that her family has with their oil and the inability of the illuminati to just kill her entire family and be done with it or kill Bobby or kill Chris…we’re dealing with a very serious situation, because if there is an illuminati, she speaks to people telepathically. That’s how unusually brilliant she actually is.

Most people couldn’t cognitively understand what they were doing well enough without being trained to do it that easily, but she does it.

And so for the sake of a lot of people, somebody is going to have to eventually explain why they’re mad at her in a real way. It’s sad Casi that you misunderstood. It’s sad but you’re not being honest.

And someone needs to finally be honest, and explain why they’re really mad at her. I can guess but I don’t know.” says Russia.

“Look! Vlad! …I’m sorry if we’re not smart enough for you, buddy!” says Greg Boyd. He pauses oddly. “Is that how people talk to Lacey?”

“Yes.” says Russia.

Later.

“You just needed to leave Lacey alone. Simple.” say Lem.

“She’s tried. SO HARD. To figure it out. …Why can’t you just explain!?” says Dr. Moritz.

“Because! I have nothing else.” says Casi.

“Do you care that you’re ending the world!?” says a man.

“They would have hated you more.” says Scott.

“Hmm.” says Lacey. “What if I have more money?”

“Loathed you.” says Scott.

“A title?” says Lacey.

“HATED you.” he says.

“Dirt poor?” says Lacey.

“Liked you.” he says.

“WHY!?” says Lacey.

“Because you’d seem more approachable.” says God.

Lacey looks confused.

“You know you can all just go fuck yourselves and I mean that in the most Godly way possible!!!” she yells at most living adults.