“Jack In Bed” by Lem

Jeffrey Sachs insists Lacey discuss her sexual experience with Jack. If there’s an Illuminati.

“So. He was…marvelous!?” says Jeffrey laughing.

“No.” says God. “He embarrassed himself. …And Lem was straight.”

“He was awful.” says Lacey.

And at that Bobby Kennedy Junior bleeds from his eyeballs. Literally. It’s a demonic blood. …And it’s gooey.

He falls to the ground. Crying.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, buddy!” says Jeffrey. “I choose not to believe it!”

And at that Bobby vomits. Profusely.

The vomit is projected everywhere.

Jeffrey laughs.

“Looks like…he’s eaten a lot today.” says Jeffrey.

Bobby tries to laugh too.

Later.

“So you don’t really think I should cheat on my husband. …You just…needed truth. And…I do too.” says the gay man from earlier.

“YES!” says Lacey.

“Why are you being such an asshole to her all the sudden?” says Marc Price to Jeffrey.

“I’m trying to talk to her. And…I’m a lot smarter. So…” says Jeffrey.

“Not really though apparently.” says Marc. “You know I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but you’re not as sophisticated as you think you are.

Unless if you’re related to the people who started Goldman Sachs I have a weird feeling that you’ve done well partially because of your last name. And Lacey and I both know that you’re kind of a poser. Wikipedia is either lying about your background for reasons of possible national security, or you’re full of it. And honestly it’s embarrassing that you think you’re better than her because obviously, if you take yourself too seriously and you’re wrong, you’re not better than her you just don’t talk like her because you’ve been trained like a dog or a horse.”

“He’s right.” says Black Rock. “She knew that WellStreet was going to do badly today this morning and not everyone knew that.”

“How did she know that? It’s not just psychic. She knew that! …Not because she’s Jack’s sweetheart or him reincarnated…but because she just knows things.” says Marc.

Later.

Bobby and Jeffrey walk out together.

“No. It’s okay.” says Bobby. He sits down. Vomits again.

Then a woman says, “Jeffrey! You don’t know!! You just didn’t understand. Look…it’s bad.” she says doing a hand gesture indicating sex.

Jeffrey nods in agreement kindly, but clearly doesn’t really believe her.

“NO!! I’m serious!! IT’S BAD!!!” she says.

He laughs. Shrugs.

“You think I’m kidding!??” she says. Then she shuts the car doors and walks right up to Jeffrey’s ear. “Look! I’d rather sleep with you. …Okay!? …If that’s what this is about…look at it that way. …Just see yourself as better than him. …I dunno. …Because…it’s bad. …And…I am so sick of men like you…not understanding that.”

Awkward silence.

“You think I feel better about myself as man through the Kennedys? …Sexually?” he says.

“I dunno.

What’s it always about? …All this…fetishization of their sex lives!? …It’s WEIRD.” she says.

They whisper to each other.

“I’m not saying that! I’m not saying you sleep around.

What happened to me is that I was born with an ability to talk to ghosts, not demons although I can talk to them too, but I try not to. I try to reboot them in Jesus’s name, but for some reason I’m able to talk to actual dead people. But they’re not hallucinations. I’m not schizophrenic. And so at times when I was really lonely, I used to lay in bed because I didn’t have a boyfriend and I would just imagine myself somewhere and start talking to people who I’d write about or something of that sort and one time I put myself somewhere in my head as I was falling asleep for a nap, actually or I started thinking about Jack because I had a crush on him when I was around 12 or 13 and I thought oh I am talk it’s like I’m talking to him and then I thought it’s almost like they’re here in my room with me, but that’s not possible there’s no way that he would be here in my room with me. There’s no way that he would be here in my room with me that’s not possible because ghost don’t exist and because I was raised in a Christian family that didn’t believe in ghosts and so I thought no, there’s no way that it would be a ghost There’s no way that this could be real so I don’t know why it seems like there’s see-through people in my room or see-through person in my room. I guess that’s just something weird in my head whatever and so then I started interacting with him that when I was around 12 13 years old And I didn’t realize at the time that it was absolutely anything. and then later much much later in my 30s I realized that that was probably a ghost, but it took me until I was in my 30s to realize that that was a ghost.

Quiet the opposite!” she says.

They look sad.

“I’m just saying…it’s BAD!!!” she says, emphatically.

“How bad is it!?” he says.

She almost cries.

“Ahh…well.” she says. She collects herself.

They stand in silence.

“I’m just saying…it’s…bad.” she says.

He thinks.

“Don’t make me explain.” she says.

“That was not Olivia’s experience!” says Jeffrey.

“What the fuck does Olivia know?!?” she says. “I’ve been working in the sex industry for decades. …He’s BAD. Like…a…C+.” she says.

Later.

“Oh my gosh this is driving me crazy.

What is it!?

What do they do Lacey? What

do they do?!?” says Jonah Wiley.

“Jonah are you sure you should be asking that question?

Don’t you have like a sex addiction to pornography or something that you talk about?” says Joni Adahl

“You know I used to talk like she does and then people started to make fun of me.

I just want everyone to know that.” says Lacey.

“Did you used to talk like me to Lacey before people start making fun of you?” says Casi.

“YES.” says Lacey. “I used to talk like Lem too.

You’re all Aries.

I used to talk like an Aries for some reason, but I’m not one…and then people just started bullying me every time I opened my mouth…sadistically.” says Lacey.

“I did too.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “And then I was also sadistically bullied.” 

“What do they do?” asks Lacey with a huge sigh.

“Do I want to know?” asks Jonah.

“Well it’s not quite that gross…but it’s bad.” says Lacey.

“What is it?” says Jonah.

“They tend to do…sex…as a performance. … So it’s not really sincere. …It’s a performance. And it’s very theatrical. …And that could be part of the reason why Jack never noticed Lem wasn’t really sincere because he had the instinct to do that himself, and probably even did.” says Lacey.

“What do you mean?” says Chris Hayes.

“Chris are you are you ending the world? Are you literally ending the world right now by asking that question?” asks an actress.

Silence.

“I have to wait for the clearance from God to tell you because it’s that serious possibly for some reason.” says Lacey,

Later.

“What did he do?” asks Jeffrey of Lacey.

“Alright Jeffrey and Chris and Jonah. I’ll tell you.

They’re theatrical.

And by theater I mean like theater for high school or maybe local theater. Because it’s not real. You don’t get the sense that they’re entirely emotionally mentally or maybe in a sense even physically present. …And there could be some women who are not as in touch with their emotions as I am, I’ve had to be because of all the trauma that I’ve experienced. I’ve had to sort of heal myself that way by really listening to myself. But I noticed it.” says Lacey.

“See I know what she’s talking about. Do you?” asks a Greatest Generation man.

Jeffrey smiles.

“She’s not making this up. I’m sorry.” says a dead man from the Greatest Generation.

“Not really.” he admits.

“So it’s kind of like they’re showy and stuff. Do you understand what I mean by showy?” he says.

“No!” says Olivia.

“OK so there’s a difference between being fake and being theatrical. They’re theatrical, you’re fake when you cheat.” he says.

“What do you mean?” says Cyrus.

“So she could explain but you guys are really not interested in her being better than you so.” says the dead man.

“ do my accomplishments mean nothing to you, Lacey?” says Cyrus.

“What the fuck have you accomplished other than making people know who you are!?

Like really know who you are in some very small little part of your brain!?

I mean that’s all you’ve done.

And people like you make excuses for that with, ‘Oh…I make people’s days happier! I make people’s lives better!’

But you know what!? Maybe you do!? But that doesn’t work quite the way that you think it does…so a lot of your accomplishment has purely been egotistical…and meaningless…so no…I’m not impressed by you, you fucking dumbass…if that’s really what you want me to say to you.” says Lacey.

“So you think we’re just famous and that’s pretty much all we are?” he says.

“I’m pretty sure that is all you are. You guys are not foreign policy experts, you’re not economic experts. No, you’re really not smarter than most people necessarily. You might be somewhat…but probably not to the degree that you think you are…if this is a real conversation.” she says.

“Just shut the fuck up OK!?

Cyrus…there’s no way to recover from what she saying because it’s just objectively true and it’s part of the decay of western society so for your own sake just shut up.” says the demon of intimidation.

“You seem moderately more intelligent than most people, but overall Cyrus you don’t seem any smarter than a lot of people that I know who probably would say I’m smarter than them. I’m sorry.” says Lacey.

“An I one of the smarter people who are famous?” says Cyrus.

“I don’t know! You might be! I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.” says Lacey. “ so basically-

Oh God what should I say?

(Adult content below)

When Elliot Roosevelt first had sex with me, he said, ‘Don’t worry, Elliott’s here. I’ll take care of you.’ And it wasn’t in a fatherly way. It was in a masculine way that men used to talk to women in the past, which wasn’t pedophilic it was sexy.

Try desperately not to hate me and be insecure around me for five seconds to just process what I just told you OK?

I am sexier than most living people potentially. Get over it.

So, I will remind you of what I look like according to AI

That actually is very close to what I am like whether I am that person or not. I’m not exaggerating that is very much my energy and very close to what I present as in the fallen world whether I am her or not.

So imagine Elliott Roosevelt



Imagine that man as a ghost saying to the woman above don’t worry I am here with the idea as he is resting over her body that he’s going to fuck her. He’s essentially saying don’t worry I’m about to get you off as he begins to make love to her in a very domineering way. It’s not don’t worry daddy’s here. It’s don’t worry Elliott’s here with the idea that he’s an expert because I knew at the time that he was an expert on several different things and he actually was. He was he really was an expert look it up!

He was saying it to me in a sexy way so the idea is that he was about to fuck me in a way that was incredibly perfect and amazing and I was about to have a really good time. Because he knew what he was doing not because he’s paternal. I can send some people listening, are stuck on that and I wish they wouldn’t be because it’s so stupid and so backward.

And then he did unfortunately, for Lem’s possibly that was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. He was an expert. He is he is a sex expert basically. I mean is even put in about him on the Internet to be honest and I I mean that’s not incorrect information and I found that after this happened I also found recorded video footage of him after I heard his voice.

He was amazing. Really genuinely amazing.

Is he just his? He’s an unusually intelligent person he’s very well-built. He has lots of testosterone tons of experience he’s very sensitive. He’s a part of it somewhat decent writer. He said I’m sorry he’s probably not usually intelligent person. I want to call him a genius but I don’t think people would respect that because he didn’t go to college.

But Faye Emerson is still in love with him and she wasn’t seen as an idiot, so how about that?

Here is sort of the perfect man in my generation, if that’s one of my generations. He was sort of the masculine ideal. I think Joe probably copied him at times because Elliot‘s expertise in flying pre-dated Joe’s interest in learning how to fly. Elliot’s older than him, but he also was gifted at it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was intimidating to the Kennedys and that generation, and they were rather jealous of him and copied him. So I actually thought Joe was more like Elliot than he is and so it was very revealing meeting Elliot and I know it was not paternal. It was much more just like I know what I’m doing. You’re about to have the time of your life just so you know, and he wasn’t exaggerating emoji wasn’t That is pretty impressive.

And there’s nothing Sam used to sleep with men like that in sex and the city. But a lot of those men had something wrong with them. there’s nothing wrong with Elliot. He is a fly boy, his kind of like Prince Philip in a sense I mean he’s a Roosevelt and he’s tall, and he’s very good-looking, and very intelligent very well mannered. There’s very little wrong with him as a person. We’re just not necessarily supposed to be together at all in that way. But he is an astounding person. He is but people imagine men being like that generation, all of them.

I think men like Tucker, Carlson do not have a hummer hummer, Roddick, interest and Elliot. They find him encouraging as men. Because he took risks he made mistakes, but for some reason the women in his life always seem to think that he’s really special. Which is probably not typical, and I would say it speaks of the fact that there is some thing unusual about him that sort of means that all of the financial issues that he had asked, are more sort of sad and fascinating than anything else.

Because he really was a very daring person, and he actually was an expert. He really was. He was an unusually intelligent person. Still is. No, he’s kind of a mysterious complex person in and of himself.

But that that really is what men aspire to be a lot of those movies with men who flew planes and a censor about him, and men who were like him like Prince Philip. There’s a reason Joe wanted to fly a plane. Let me tell you. I am not a millennial, and that way I can as I get it and I don’t know if all women in my generation do or don’t the way that I do maybe they do maybe that out as millennials but the whole Flyboy aesthetic. Oh my word no I I get it.

And the way that some women and in the millennial generation went, you know crazy for *NSYNC, or the Backstreet Boys or Leonardo DiCaprio for women in the the greatest generation it was the man who flew planes in World War II. Those were the men and they were a lot and most of them were probably straight or bisexual and so There was an OK aspect to it. It was just sorry to be so crass but 100% raw masculinity and for a straight woman who is fertile who is in her 20s wow that’s pretty amazing stuff.

So that’s that is just as a assertive example that’s the ideal OK that’s what women in my generation were looking for. And it wasn’t just about sex. It was about love it was about passion and obviously there’s issues of pregnancy. Obviously, there’s a lot of different things to consider but but that was that was sort of a thing. I know I don’t think you should throw out the idea that Meghan Markle and Prince Philip could be somewhat similar. what’s wrong with you’re who you’re married to? hey there’s nothing wrong with that. I suppose the problem would be like with Diana you know that Prince Charles, that she was so beautiful, but it wasn’t quite the right person for him. I am but but aside from a marriage that just doesn’t work I would say if it does work, it’s nice to be with someone who is really good looking and really charming. It’s fun so people really like that it’s just fun. It’s like having a spouse who plays the same sport as you or likes the same jokes or something it’s just fun it’s just nice.

So, but that was the eight that was the ideal men who were pilots that was really the thing!

And you know that was kind of a lovely thing about being alive back then for a woman you had all these handsome men who are straight and sensitive and intelligent. And for me being heterosexual, who is very feminine as a woman, that was what I wanted, but most those men I’m sorry to say, died. From old age. That wasn’t quite where I was planning on going with what I was gonna say but that’s just the ugly reality of it and you know the truth is it’s possible that I don’t see masculinity and some of you because it’s just not something that I can perceive but I kind of also wonder if your last masculine and I don’t know I really don’t know what’s going on in that way, but anyway.

So Elliot is sort of the ideal and men like that.

And then there are men like Peter Lawford.

And Jack Lemmon was like Peter Lawford, even if he was straight at a nicer person. Or just a nicer person. I am, and those are very nice men too. I don’t go for them as much but that’s a different type of man. Oh, I don’t know if I’ve ever been involved with any man like that, but that was another type.

And then, and then I slept with Joe and apparently…ahh…and I slept with Jack as well unbeknownst to me. So… Janet Desrosiers intriguingly does not want to sleep with Jack. She makes that very clear. But I understand why. It’s interesting to that. She has fun with with Joe and then she’s ready to move on and have a life of her own. him. It’s also interesting that Gloria Swanson famously says that Joe said to her, ‘I have to have you now!’ Which is a very theatrical thing to say. I don’t know if Janet was intuitive, and started to realize that there was something a little off or what it was.

So that was like a I hope it was a one time thing. Maybe it was more than a maybe it was a couple of times but it wasn’t that many thank God. It was a few times and then I just didn’t think that was real and then nothing like that happened until by 37F Scott Fitzgerald started interacting with me. I had a dream that was weird, but that wasn’t the same thing. So in my 30s F Scott Fitzgerald started interacting with me, and I knew it was a ghost, and then all hell broke loose. And then when I was about 3738 Louis Hill, Junior started interacting with me, and I knew he was a ghost, and I was shocked when he started trying to make love with me. Everything that’s why I started putting all these pieces together. He was the first person that I was involved with that I knew about I I knew something was happening with Scott but not like I knew with Louis and then Louie’s wife became a problem. And I didn’t think she was even in the picture anymore because it seemed like he was single casinos till death do us part and they’re dead so it seemed like he was single but nope she was still in the picture. And then, and then I was involved with Harold Loeb for a while. And then come to find out that nope he was still hung up on Brett Ashley. and I think he feels bad about it, but it was really irritating to say the least.

Oh, and then you know Elliot and then there’s Faye Emerson and anyway and his last wife. And and then there’s that and then there’s Michael eventually but before all of that and around that time I start interacting with Lem.

So anyway, Elliot is normal right son Elliot was was sort of dramatic in the way that he said things that he could be very showy in a sense because it was sort of you know it was like this wonderful experience, and he was thinking it through as he said it, and it was, it was deep with him, because I think he might even still be so much in love with me, but it wasn’t as deep as some sex can be him, and he may even be more in love with one of his ex-wives. So in a sense you could say that he was theatrical but no that’s like normal. Kind of like for someone who’s trying to keep some distance but not really they want to be present they want to be involved, but they don’t want maybe to him give you too much of their heart, but they want to give you them. It’s like it’s real sucks it’s not like you’re being weird and dysfunctional necessarily at all depending on how God sees it but it’s got it’s kind of more just like getting to know someone at the beginning of a adult consensual sexual relationship is like you’re kind of still getting to know the person.

Him and so for someone like Elliot, who is kind of experienced he might be kind of a show because he still trying to figure out who you are what you like. How love with you he is this is going to be forever.

So that’s kind a normal maybe especially in today’s day and age right it’s sort of normal to be theatrical in that way. But that’s not what the Kennedys are.

…

So I got involved with Jack and I didn’t know it. And then I was involved with Joe after I was consciously aware of what was happening with Louis. I know his wife got involved and it didn’t work out with Harold and so Joe kind of was like well you know it’s like now that you’re involved with dead people I guess I can kind of sleep with you know like we’ve kind of been together or something but now that you’re actually aware of what’s happening how about if we actually sleep together. Which I guess seems weird to a lot of people live today. I thought it was strange that I didn’t think it was that strange but maybe it’s stranger than I think. So he was like yeah let’s let’s let’s actually sleep together now That you can know what’s happening let’s actually sleep together. And him and so we slept together and it was at first really impressive because it was passionate and I thought wow this is really great. And then I started to think about it and even as it was happening, I was thinking about it but then I started to think about it after it happened and I thought you know that wasn’t so great. Why was he so stiff physically? I know I do not mean his penis I mean his body OK that’s a part of his body, but I mean his body like his his torso..

His torso was really stiff and he was very like dramatic about his physical movements. Everything seemed very thought through and very dramatic. Like his arms were dramatic. His body was dramatic. Everything was very dramatic. Do you understand it was fake it was sort of like bad acting. So at the time I was so caught up in thinking wow all these years I thought about him and this is amazing… and then it happened and it was like wow it was amazing and then after that, I started to think it through more and I thought you know that was really bad.

We sleep together finally right?

He was very overly animated. It was really bad acting.” says Lacey.

“ Jeffrey this is really hard for you to accept. I don’t know why.” says the CIA.

“ oh, I mean that’s good though right? Why is it that way is that bad?” says Jeffrey.

“ do you understand what I’m describing or not?” says Lacey.

“ why would you think a woman would want somebody who’s being fake and theatrical?” says a prostitute.

“ I don’t think he understands what you’re talking about but I don’t think it’s because he I think it’s because he doesn’t want to.” says Tucker Carlson.

Later.

“Listen…it’s…like this…

You…lay there and…look up at a man. As a straight woman.

Okay?

And this theatrical man…says, “I’m GONNA ROCK…YOUR…WORLD!” …And then he starts dancing. Yes. He stands up…turns on Bee Gees and just…stands there dancing…for like…three minutes. And…it’s sexual. But…he makes no eye-contact. And then he walks over…and ‘has sex with you’. So…it’s not real sex. It’s…sex…but it’s…so…like the dancing. No connection. No…actual intimacy. …Just…an act.” says Lacey.

“He was like that…they’re apparently all like that…with EVERYONE. Me included. …Except I didn’t mind. …Because I was straight. …He…came…but…it wasn’t great. Because…part of having a great orgasm is emotional.

See…Lacey and Elliott…are…similar.

They…are…brilliant at making you feel loved. …Even if they actually keep some emotional distance…they let themselves get hurt. …Too hurt in Lacey’s case. …Not by me…but…that’s not what I mean anyway. …I mean…Elliott…was…fake too. …But Lacey is like him…but she’s made to be faithful. And she wants to be.

Whereas Jack…well…he’d orgasm. …I could bring him to orgasm. Sure! …But it didn’t mean much. …And it wasn’t good.” says Lem. “I mean…I did analyze it like a car. …And in an asexual way. Which made it easier. …However…I didn’t…fulfill him.

Really.

His orgasms with me…were…dull. Not compared to some things. But compared to what he knew he could feel…just intuitively…they were dull. Because I couldn’t get…aroused myself. It was very mechanical.

So…I felt…frustrated. Because…I didn’t know how to fix the situation. …And…he was getting the sense that I was going to kill myself…or…something. Because…I felt…no attraction to him. But I didn’t know that.

So…he had men come give him butt sex. And…he’d…have better orgasms. …Because I was straight. …And…yet…I’m not sure how great that was. So…he got really into meth.” says Lem. “I think the high he felt from orgasms was almost the same as meth.”

“Why don’t you get it?” says God.

“You know Jeffrey she’s not an idiot. She’s an actual ditz and she sexier than your wife. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that’s hard for your ego go fuck yourself!” says Rupert Murdoch.