“Jack’s Advice” by Lemmers

Lacey sits down to eat her breakfast with tea. Wearing a tightly fitted corset. It’s very beautiful. No bra. It’s a Saturday morning. Her and Lem have just made love. She considers wearing wool and doing gardening. Taking off the corset entirely.

At 41 she’s still quite nubile.

Come Together by The Beatles plays.

Palestinians starve. A little girl licks her dried out lips. As she drifts to Heaven.

JFK shakes his ass and penis. Grinning. Proud of himself.

1:17

For saving the world.

1:28

It’s unclear how.

1:37

He shakes his ass.

1:48

She dies.

JFK drools. Shakes his ugly flag ass.

America cheers him on. Letting millions of Palestinian children die.

Lacey smiles.

The angel of death winks at her.

“Can you make them die faster?” asks Lacey of the angel of death.

Queen Elizabeth II nods. Claps. “YES! Let’s!!” she says.

“Mollock! Say we pretend to sacrifice them to you. …Can you make their deaths faster and less painful?” says Lacey.

Help by The Beatles plays.

JFK mindlessly begs Lem and anyone he can find to shoot him up or masturbate him. “HELP!!” he yells. “HELP!!” he yells like he’s in incredible suffering.

“Well that’s just normal sexual desire.

So…it’s nothing wrong. There’s nothing wrong with him at all!” say the American Boomers.

“Lem…why are you suck his cock?

Right?

You like doing that buddy…right?

Maybe that would help him.

He seems like he’s not doing very well.

And you’re his lover…so maybe you should do it.” says the Trump Administration.

More Than A Woman by The Bee Gees plays.

“You’re losing millions of dollars worth of profit in Palestine. You do realize that?” says Mollock to America to mock them.

“Oh how is that?” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“Well…there’s millions of kids dying. In Palestine. They’re attractive, beautiful children to each other and to pedophiles. Damn! Alright.” says Mollock.

JFK drools. Half conscious. Ocasia-Cortez claps, grinning. To cheer him on.

“This MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT!!!” says a Black Millennial woman.

They dance with JFK.

“You know I don’t think America gives a shit about itself enough to even care about those kids in any capacity. I think they forgot about them which is good because pedophilia is awful. Absolutely disgusting. But I don’t think they even remembered that those children existed enough to think of selling them.” says Lacey.

September by Earth, Wind & Fire plays.

Barack Obama dances. Grinning.

“You really do remind me of my dad!” says Caroline Kennedy.

He faints in awe.

“No!

Caroline…there’s no way that you never say that seriously.

WOW!!!

We are really…that important!?!” says Michelle Obama.

Caroline nods. “Uhhhuh!” she says. She claps her hands in glee.

“Oh my God!

Have I ascended to Mount Olympus!?

Dear God, I am in awe of myself!” says Barack Obama.

The song ends.

Dream On by Aerosmith plays.

“Just kidding! You’re still just a bunch of niggers.

And I am a white…rich…fabulous bitch!

Ha ha ha ha ha!” says Caroline Kennedy very sincerely.

1:10

“Look you’ll never be equal to me.

Okay?

That’s just the harsh, cold, truth.

But…if you kiss my ass enough, I’ll acknowledge you in public…and then maybe someday someone will take you seriously…the way they take my dad seriously.” says Caroline.

And at that JFK cums. A demon impersonating Lem gets him off. As Lem watches in horror from his grave.

2:27

“Why the fuck are we still here?” Lacey says to God.

“I often ask myself the same question.” says Vladimir Putin.

3:20

“So about those children that are starving. Is there anyway you can make it go faster?” Lacey asks Mollock.

“DREAM ON!!” Joe Kennedy Junior says to Lacey, seriously.

“No…actually he might be interested in helping her. I might even do it myself just for the fun of it.” says Satan.

“But that’s an evil entity and those beings don’t help people because that’s not the rules!” says JFK.

The weird ending plays.

“Well…nevermind all that can you actually do it?” Lacey asks Mollock.

God nods.

Mollock looks at her.

Dream On by Aerosmith plays again.

“Yes..I can definitely do that.” says Mollock to Lady Rosslyn, confused.

“Yes, if there’s reincarnation it’s like old times, but I do need you to do it quickly because I’m sure there’s thousands of them who are very unhappy right now.” says Lacey.

“Are you sacrificing them to me or what darling?“ asks Mollock.

“Ahh…no I would really rather not even play at that. Can you manage?” says Lady Rosslyn.

“Pro bono?” says Mollock.

“Yes…are you that rich these days Mollock?” says Lacey.

3:08

“Yes!” says Mollock. “But then, if I don’t don’t cease to exist I will have to be friends with you and occasionally have tea after the resurrection, and I should like to talk with you about all the human history; my thoughts, my sadness, all of it.”

“And I’ll take grammar more seriously if this is obviously in Christ’s will of course that sounds quite delightful.” says Lacey.

4:13

The song ends.

The song restarts.

“Alright I will do my best to work with demons and Satan to make their deaths as painless and pleasant as possible. I can probably do that right now!” says Mollock, smiling.

“How is he not a dear and some ways?” says Lacey to God.

“He likes me too.” says Putin. “It’s sad.”

“So if there’s reincarnation Lacey, as Lady Roslyn literally is calling favors with Mollock to help the Palestinian children?” says NBC.

“ABSOLUTELY!!” yells God.

Barack Obama laughs.

Cracks-up laughing.

“Am I anything like Jack at all?” he says to Lacey.

“Ahh…well, let’s see how do I explain? See right now I am with Lem and I probably am with him for eternity and we have sex and I was going to write something else but apparently I’m not going to anymore and because I sleep with them and he has pleasure and good times. So…I think people think I am Jack because of that.

*A few children die in Palestine. Their mothers are relieved. Because they seem calm as they pass.*

You’re very pragmatic and cold and calculating and shrewd and I think people think that that’s what Jack was like even though he wasn’t necessarily at all.

I think that’s what people think.” says Lacey.

“I know my daddy!!!!

I remember him completely!” says Caroline, adamantly.

In My Life by The Beatles plays.

“Once I cum five more times and shoot up a few more times Caroline? OK. So do something that’s political.” says JFK. He’s been talking from 1962 in a time warp because he’s also alive in 1962.

The song plays and ends.

Caroline bangs a tambourine and hums.

“Yay!!!” she says.

Another One Bites The Dust by Queen plays as Mollock kills kids.

“Lacey…doesn’t that man sound like LEM!? I think that’s proof that Lem was gay!” says Bobby Kennedy seriously.

“I sound like him too.” says Chris Martin, annoyed.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“No that’s not true. He sounds like rub!! Because-because I was gay!!!

I don’t make love with me.” says JFK from 1967, losing his mind on acid. “THAT WAS LEM!!!” He thinks. “LEM WAS THE FAGGOT!!! NOT ME!!!”

House Of The Rising Sun by The Animals plays.

“Yeah…Jack does drugs because he’s cool!” Z say a few Boomers.

“You know I think all Lacey can do right now is try to send Mollock to help them but if that actually is doing something and there’s even a few kids are dying more easily…then she’s actually doing something of actual value to humanity with her power.” says a reader. “ mI understand why people think democracy and America are amazing but I’m not seeing it right now and I’m feeling disillusioned.”

“Well…we’re democracy too.” says an Englishman.

“So what is Jack actually doing or Caroline to help anyone today in the way that she seems to be able to?” says another reader.

“ absolutely nothing because Jack decided to cease to exist and Caroline is an idiot, and Bobby doesn’t really give a fuck about anyone but himself. If we’re talking to Jack from 1962, he is high and trying to orgasm obsessively. That’s all that he cares about is getting high and having sex and I think he thinks he’s having sex with Lem…but I think if it wasn’t hurtful to Lacey, he probably would have sex with a lot of other people. …And I think he’s really just obsessed with hurting people and feeling good physically. I don’t think he cares about really anything almost at all other than that.” says Jesus.

Le leçon particulière plays.

Putin throws a pair of dice in the air. It lands on a table. Two ones.

“Very good.” says Iran. They laugh.

Putin smiles. Nods.

“If you die, we die with you.” says China to Putin.

Rencontre sur la neige plays.

0:48

The song ends. Abruptly. Because we’re leaving Europe to return to the US.

Peaches by The Presidents Of The United States plays, loud, for JFK who’s drooling.