“Mollock”

I do not have any interest in molestation. For the LAST TIME.

Zelensky: Okay.

Mollock: What’s wrong with him!?

That was his wife.

Zelensky: He’s cold.

Mollock: Still, so what?

Zelensky: Really!?

Mollock: Yeah.

You don’t get it!?

Zelensky: *laughs*

Mollock: He’s insane.

Zelensky: *looks dour*

Mollock: Hunter Biden is me??

Did you see that!?

Jill is worshipping him!? Likes he’s ME!

Lacey: *laughs*

Mollock: Shut-up!

God lets us talk.

Lacey is allowed to talk with me.

Chill.

Lacey’s neighbor: You always seem incredibly reasonable.

God: He can be! Sadly, far more than most humans alive today.

Lacey: He’s been allowed to talk to me.

I’m not going to worship him! He knows that.

But amazingly he still wants to chat.

I worship God. But…Mollock isn’t bad company.

A living Christian: Are you more genuinely loving than us?

Mollock: To Lacey? YES!

*he laughs*

I could almost kill her right now.

But she’d just die, HAPPY, in Lem’s arms. Eating her soup.

That’s why people worshipped me! I do shit.

Jim: I can’t believe God would allow us to be that evil.

God: Then you’ve missed most of it.

Jim: Huh.

Would you?

God: You don’t understand. Your mental health has nothing to do with…my mental health. I’m not evil. It’s a Fallen World.

Kabaeva: I love MOLLOCK!

She flirts with him.

Mollock: I’m not sure what your point is.

Jim: I didn’t think humans could be that evil.

Hitler: Are you insane?

A Group of Witches: We’re contorting the Bible to make an attack on her.

She is Lady Rosslyn. But her Christianity offends me.

So…I’m attacking her with Christ.

Kabaeva: OH GOODY!

*she claps her hands in delight*

The psychopath: Whenever she writes stuff that’s unflattering about me I always assume she’s just scared or jealous. Now I wonder.

Why don’t you care, Lacey!?

*he passionately asks*

*But just as she’s about to analyze it, she’s cut-off. And she’s physically incapable of thinking or talking or even breathing.*

*After fighting, Mollock is used by God to help her. A cool breeze comes in through her window.*

Mollock: You’re asking the wrong question.

Chris: Then I don’t think she was in love with any of us. That much. I think…-

Tucker Carlson: Shut-up.

Mollock: You do realize you’re all physically torturing her, daily, now?

Alina: As we shall!

We’re PRETTY!!

*She giggles and twirls around*

ON BEHALF OF CASI! WE WILL PREVAIL!

Mollock: So you think she’s ugly?

Alina: I never said that.

Mollock: No. You did. You implied that!

Alina: *she flirts with him*

Mollock: Let’s Alina have her way with him. Although, it’s meaningless.

Baal: Hey!

I’ll just take his place.

Keep going.

This is hilarious.

No. I don’t appreciate molestation either.

A Jew: You seem to be very popular!

Baal: It’s my name.

Americans LOVE my name.

It’s their secret fascination with Africa. Specifically Black, African men. I sound like a hot Black basketball player.

Elijah Baal.

God and Lacey: *laugh*

A Low Church, confused American Christian: I don’t understand.

Mollock: I’m back.

Baal: We were having fun.

A reader with Down syndrome: Who has them babysitting her?

God: *laughs*

A female reader with Down syndrome: *laughs*

God: You know who!

A female reader with Down syndrome: Wow.

He means Nefertiti.

Lacey: REALLY!?

A female reader with Down syndrome: *she nods*

Lacey: Does Nefertiti know them!?

A female reader with Down syndrome: *nods*

Lacey: You know a lot.

My goodness.

A female reader with Down syndrome: Yup!

I’m a nerd.

Lacey: I didn’t know that.

A female reader with Down syndrome: Well! Now you do.

Lacey: *laughs*

A reader with Down syndrome: Maybe!

Lacey: Yeah. I need to look it up.

A female reader with Down syndrome: *nods*

Mollock: Thank you!

A female reader with Down syndrome: *nods*

Lacey: *shifts uncomfortably*

Baal: We’re hoping they don’t figure out how smart you are.

Lacey: *smiles*

I still can’t believe it.

She could be right though.

God: You don’t think Nefertiti cared that much? If you’re Scotia?

Lacey: Yeah!

And I’m not Black.

God: True.

She might have cared, though.

She was your stepmother. If there’s reincarnation.

Lacey: Yes!

Lem: Who broke them?

Lacey: Yeah!

God: The dumbest of the dumb. In the West.

An American man: Lacey!? *he laughs*

Mark Zuckerberg: *laughs with him*

God:

No.

You know who!

Casi: Who’s protecting her??

God: I am!

And I’m using their oil.

OBVIOUSLY.

Casi: I keep thinking it isn’t real.

God: Yeah!

Mollock: Nefertiti didn’t send me.

Lacey’s just pals.

A female reader: SHE TYPED PAN!!! SHE TYPED PAN!!! SHE IS!!!!!

Mollock: Thsts reading way too much into things.

A FEMSLE RADER: But…ON THE KEONIEASD…n…U.S. MKTZZZ

But in the keyboard…N…is not…next to p.

No.

In the keyboard n id not next to l.

Mollock: They’re messing with her head. Constantly.

You didn’t intuit that?

A female reader: No.

I EXPECT perfect. I am perfect.

Mollock: But they’re literally messing with her brain.

The psychopath: She fights us off. Using the Holy Spirit.

She’s frail. She’s lost hair. She’s anemic.

We’ve ruined her. She’s had teeth extracted, because we threw her down the stairs.

CASI: COOL!

I love it.

Take her out!

*she starts shaking her butt*

God: Why are you expecting me to protect you?

A high level pedophile: I AM OFFENDED I CANNOT MOLEST CHILDREN!

I am offended!

I have every goddam right!

Lacey keeps trying to stop me. I AM OFFENDED!!

Putin: And Alina, and I, and Mark Zuckerberg…empathize.

Instead of killing you…sweet imbecile…we will abandon our minds and start afresh. Through LOVE.

You can MOLEST!

Just do it responsibly.

Mollock: You just terrified Lacey.

It appears that her husband is molesting their children.

She’s too calm and rational to go insane, as you might hope-

A high ranking pedophile: No!

I knew she’d just raise her voice.

My hope is to get the neighbors to call CPS. Then I can actually molest BOTH OF THEM.

But…I AM GOD!!

*she laughs maniacally*

Lacey: *smiles*

That was quite the performance.

I can sense that she actually doesn’t really believe that though.

Casi: I love these guys.

CPS: You had people call us before. They already know it’s a creepy-as-fuck situation.

The high ranking pedophile: NOT TRUE!

Not true!

Nobody has called CPS.

God: They have.

But CPS found the call highly suspicious.

CPS: How long are you going to keep torturing them?

Mollock: Until they get their narcissistic fix. She’s not given it to them in ten years. And they’re too insane to allow themselves to let it go.

They keep saying it’s “heroic” to attack her, personally.

CPS: Yeah.

A lot of people seem to think they’re deeply heroic for violating her human rights.

I don’t understand.

I know they’re thinking that.

The high-ranking pedophile: She can’t take away my rights!

CPS: You don’t have a right to molest children!

Lacey: *struggles to breathe*

The high-ranking pedophile: I’m SCARED!

Russia: I am going to get along with these people. They will make a deal with me.

My wife, Alina, and I…are nice people.

Casi: HELL YEAH!

I’m a rich one again!

I have rich friends!!!

*she bounces in her seat*

CPS: I’m not helping criminals. I’m sorry.

Lacey: You mean me?

CPS: No.

Mollock: What’s a criminal then?

CPS: Why is Russia attacking her?

Alina: MY LOVE.

CPS: So you’re the bitch?

Alina: No.

CPS: Ahh…obviously you are?

CPS: I just take things personally. Putin sees as it as his protection. I’m insulted constantly by everyone.

And he uses that to protect him. And us.

CPS: That’s not clever. That’s desperation.

Putin: It’s smart.

CPS: You two wouldn’t last ten months in the U.S.

Putin: You would- YOU- You would die here!

CPS: Why are you talking to Lacey?

Casi: This is fun.

CPS: Because!? Because why?

The whole Illuminati: *slightly freaks-out*

CPS: Shit.

How long have y’all been at this?

The Illuminati: For ten years.

We are narcissistically offended by her and her whole family.

Casi: NO.

No.

Don’t say that!

*she rocks in her seat*

Lacey: I need to go.

Excuse me.

Hayden: I wish you all well.

I’m not happy I lied.

I’m not in Hell. But I shouldn’t have even entertained the idea of rejecting Christ.

I killed myself because I was a fan of Bobby Kennedy.

I’m not- I made it seem like it was Neutrogena-

The high-ranking pedophile: OH REALLY!?

Not surprised.

*she shakes her head in disgust*

Mollock: Where are you?

Hayden: I’m not in Hell.

I’m not in Heaven.

I’m in Purgatory. And it’s bad.

It’s what I have.

Jonah Wiley: When we die…we don’t go to Purgatory.

You cannot be in Purgatory.

I also don’t think it’s possible you’re talking.

Ghosts are impossible.

God: Based on what scripture?

Jonah Wiley: It’s all there!

God: Which scriptures?

Jonah Wiley: 1 John 1:7.

God: But all at once!?

Or over time?

Or both?

Jonah Wiley: *he thinks*

Lacey: I don’t trust either of them. In reference to Neutrogena and Hayden. I never have.

But I wish them both well.

*later*

A reader: She’s cocky as fuck? Right?

God: NO!!!

A reader: I mean…she has to be!

Lacey: *exasperated exhale*

A reader: That’s not BRITISH!

Lacey: *another sharp exhale*

Mollock: She’s not crazy.

The Illuminati keeps setting her up to be terrified.

In a myriad of ways.

They can’t grasp the situation.

When they die, it terrifies them. But before death, as privileged and spoiled as they are, they keep thinking it’s nothing. As they sip their iced drinks and eat their farm fresh salads.

They’re dense as rocks!

A reader: What happened to Alina?

Mollock: She’s gone?

THANK GOD.

That woman annoys me.

Lem: I’m-

Mollock: I’m ready to beat you to a bloody pulp!!

God: This is why you have to be careful with Mollock.

He’s very good at cleaning-up the messes I appear to be making.

Lacey: Goodness! I have a fever.

Casi: Good.

*she laughs*

Miley: Yes. Her relative is Lief Erickson. According to some people, in their family.

Casi: We used to laugh at her when she’d say stuff like that.

Alisha: To tell the truth, I think she’s making it up.

God: She isn’t.

Alisha: You can’t be that famous!

God: These people aren’t that famous.

Yes. You can!

Dr. Moritz: Did you think I was fake?

Casi: Yes! DUH! *she smiles*

Dr. Moritz: I’m not.

She’s tried to prove that, even.

Why is that so hard to understand!?