Casi: Ain’t no way she been single her whole life.
Another man in Dubai: She clearly edits her photos though.
Casi: Sure!
So do you and I!
Alisha: No.
See…my beef…isn’t with her.
My beef…is with that woman named Ashley.
Another man in Dubai: I have no idea who that is!
Alisha: She THINK SHE THE SHIT.
Another man in Dubai: Okay.
Alisha: No. For real though.
*she smiles*
You don’t know Ashley!?
Another man in Dubai: Is Ashley rich?
Alisha: She must be.
I seen her driver.
She posted photos in a Rolls Royce.
Another man in Dubai: *nods*
Isn’t her name like…Sophia? Or…Katarina?
Alisha: *she cracks-up laughing*
YOU THINK WE ARE DUMB!
No.
We’re just different.
PDM: We never contacted these people!!
A male reader: She is refreshing.
Why didn’t you contact her!?
Alisha: I know Ashley too.
She was one of my haters.
*she rocks herself in her chair*
She said I was trash!
I posted a photo of my wife and I, in Mexico.
*she pushes her plastic eyeglasses up her nose*
She commented, “Married life rocks!”
Another man in Dubai: Maybe she was giving you a compliment.
Alisha: *stares*
*laughs*
No. She was just being mean.
Casi: I’m not sure why but she was.
Alisha: *walks off*
Casi: She can’t handle…it. It being…our truth.
Every time-
I’m not opposed to being open-minded. You know?
*she lights a cigarette*
*she begins smoking*
I’m her company.
But…we dance around the fact that we married. Because she has a phobia.
Another man from Dubai: Okay.
*he shrugs*
Casi: I’m not a homosexual.
I think ASHLEY is the homosexual.
Another man from Dubai: I’m just…me.
We’re all just…trying.
*he says awkwardly*
Casi: Whatever.
*she smokes*
Another man from Dubai: I feel like…you genuinely think you’re the inspiration for Cassili. Why do you think that?
Casi: I sent them my contact information.
Twice.
Another man from Dubai: Okay.
Did they respond?
Casi: Yes.
Another man from Dubai: Did they ask you to…do anything?
Casi: No!
They just seemed really happy to talk with me.
I have a very strong feeling I AM Cassili.
*she smokes*
Another man from Dubai: Okay.
But they never told you that?
Casi: *she laughs*
*she thinks*
I don’t hate you.
I don’t hate anyone.
*she thinks*
I don’t think you want to know what I think.
Another man from Dubai: No! I do.
Casi: *she laughs*
*she cries*
Lacey: I DO!
What do you think happened!?
Casi: *she squints*
Why is that bitch bothering me!?
Another man from Dubai: Please talk!
Casi: *shakes her head in disbelief*
*cries*
Lem: Tell us!!
Casi: I think…-
I ain’t no millionaire.
*she throws her hands up in the air*
Another man from Dubai: Huh.
Casi: YEAH! HUH!
I think they named it after me.
*she looks visibly uncomfortable*
I’m psychic, and I get getting that feeling.
It’s like, why CASI!?
*she laughs*
I love the fact that…there’s another Casi.
I’m sure she thinks it’s about her. She’s not famous but she’s very well known.
I’d love to be that person someday.
But ain’t no way.
Another man from Dubai: I’m sorry.
Listen to “O Fortuna” by Elgar, as performed by the London Symphony Orchestra.
Casi: Why can’t that be me!?
The song plays.
An Indian woman shops on Chanel. Online.
Those two things are certain.
The song replays.
A woman from Casi’s hometown is struggling to stay alive, on a ship, stationed in the Middle East. Totally dehydrated.
Not from eating babies. From trying to eat normal food.
1:51
She lays in pain, on the floor.
This is all she has.
Abraham Lincoln rocks himself back and forth. MORTIFIED.
Lacey’s neighbor weeps.
The song plays.
The song ends.
Casi: It ain’t right.
Lacey pretends to be an ancient Egyptian woman named Neffy: Why do you think Cassili is “you”?
Casi: I’m not sure how to describe it.
*she thinks*
It’s like, it’s sweet. I’m sweet. And, it’s sexy. *she laughs*
Alisha says I’m sexy. *she shrugs*
Neffy: Do you think the notes suit you?
Casi: No?
I like the mimosa.
Neffy: I love Tom Ford’s Bitter Peach. Have you tried that one?
Casi: YES!
*she nods her head emphatically*
I love Tom Ford.
That man is a genius!
You seen “A Single Man”?
Neffy: Yes!
Casi: He’s a genius.
Neffy: What’s the peach in Bitter Peach in comparison to Cassili?
Casi: Now see…right there!
THAT is why I LOVED the perfume community.
…It’s good.
To be honest, Bitter Peach is better.
Neffy: Then why are you Cassili?
Casi: I just think it was secretly inspired by me.
Neffy: What perfume actually is you!?
Casi: *thinks*
Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. Creed…Acqua Fiorentina.
Neffy: That’s genuinely impressive.
*later*
Lacey’s neighbor. He makes over $150,000.00 a year. He’s white.: Why do you two ladies collect perfume?
Casi: *thinks*
(Lacey) Neffy: I think of it as art, to summarize.
Casi: It’s white trash. But I love it!
Neffy: No! It’s not!
Casi: *cries*
Neffy: It’s NOT white trash!
Casi: See…-
*she rocks in her chair*
You…-
Neffy: You love perfume?
Casi: No.
I love smelling good.
Neffy: *thinks*
*thinks some more*
Do you love the perfume while you’re wearing it?!
Casi: *thinks*
*thinks*
*thinks*
I wear it for Alisha.
Neffy: *thinks and eats a popsicle*
Why do you…-
But do you enjoy the scent with her?
Casi: Yes?
I’m just…- See, if I were to have my way, I’d wear Old Spice.
Neffy: But women aren’t men.
Casi: I know.
I just like Old Spice.
Neffy: I like it on a man…
I don’t think I could wear it, but I know what you mean.
Casi: It’s GOOD.
Neffy: It is good.
Casi: I don’t think I’d wear anything but Old Spice.
Neffy: Does Alisha like Old Spice?
Casi: Yeah!
I don’t think she prefers it though.
She prefers Mancera Aoud Vanille.
Neffy: To be perfectly honest, I think I’d rather just smell Old Spice.
Casi: What does your husband wear?
Neffy: *thinks*
*checks*
Penhaligon’s Blenheim Bouquet, and Sartorial.
Casi: He’s classy!
Neffy: See…why do you say that!?
Because Mancera Aoud Vanille is very elegant.
Casi: Yes, but it’s not-
It’s just the way you say it.
Neffy: *thinks*
But you sound classy too.
Casi: *she laughs*
Your husband at war?
Neffy: Why do you ask?
Casi: I’m psychic.
Neffy: *thinks*
He may have died.
Casi: When?
Neffy: A while ago.
Casi: Which war!?
Neffy: He died…south of…Kabul.
Casi: Where!?
Neffy: Way, way south of Kabul.
Casi: Near the border?
Neffy: No.
He died…in armed combat.
Casi: Where!?
Neffy: *thinks*
I can’t say.
It was…in the thick of things. He was…-
Casi: I knew a man who died in Afghanistan. Just outside Kabul.
Neffy: Yeah.
How did he die.
Casi: He was wounded. He got hit by shrapnel.
Neffy: My husband got hit.
Casi: Damn!
Neffy: *starts to cry*
Well, he’s dead now.
Casi: *thinks*
He’s not really dead.
Neffy: True! He was a Christian.
Casi: *she nods*
*thinks*
You’ll see him again!
Neffy: *cries*
Casi: You’re still grieving him??
Neffy: *can’t talk*
Casi: *thinks*
You’ll see him again! COME ON!
Neffy: *thinks*
Why Old Spice?
Casi: YEAH!
I liked Axe too.
Neffy: I did too!
People get so weird about stuff like that.
Casi: *nods*
It’s classism.
Neffy: *thinks*
Listen to “Violin Concerto in E major” by Vivaldi.
Casi: No! It is!
They’re jerks!
Neffy: Why do you think they are the way they are?
Casi: They…sacrifice us.
They send us to war. To solve their problems for them.
Neffy: My husband was very rich. He died with honor.
Casi: Yeah. Well…you’re different.
I can tell.
*she rocks in her seat*
*she looks nervous*
Neffy: You’re right.
It bothers me too.
Casi: *thinks*
Why did your husband join the military?
Neffy: He was honorable.
Casi: *smiles*
And then he has to die!!
Neffy: I lost my will to live when he died.
He was absolutely everything to me.
Casi: *she smiles*
*laughs*
That’s how Alisha feels about me. I think.
Neffy: Would you go to war?
Casi: *she smiles*
*throws her head back*
I could see myself doing that.
Alisha would kill me first though.
Listen to “Weird Fishes” by Radiohead.
Neffy: Yeah.
Is she good to you?
Casi: *thinks*
Yeah!
She is!
I know it don’t seem like it, but she is.
Neffy: She’s quiet?
Casi: *she laughs*
YES!
Neffy: I’m sorry, thinking about Lem overwhelmed me.
Casi: Yeah.
Lem?
That’s a famous name. It’s a common nickname in the South?
Neffy: Maybe.
I’m thinking about it now.
That totally changed me.
Casi: I’m sorry.
Neffy: Man!
It’s too bad more rich men don’t fight in wars nowadays.
Casi: HELL YEAH!
Neffy: I mean, leaders have to be left behind.
But…if rich men don’t die…the war makes no sense.
Casi: AMEN!
I think…as a Christian nation…we need to do that.
Neffy: It isn’t a Christian nation.
Casi: *thinks*
Neffy: I wish it was. But it isn’t.
Casi: You sound like my father.
He was a good man.
He smoked too much. Died of cancer in his 70’s. Ten years ago.
Neffy: What did he say?
Casi: He said, “This ain’t no Christian nation!” *she laughs*
He was a very smart man.
He used to be into crossword puzzles.
I hated him…and I loved him.
But I think he was right.
Neffy: It should be.
Keen to Cross the Pond 