THE DUKE IN THE CITY

Matt walks in to his apartment. Throws his tie on the floor.

Kicks his feet up-

Glenn: NO!

Do a woman.

This is too confusing.

Moloch: Okay. Him first.

Cont.

He kicks his feet up on a coffee table. The room is dark.

It’s an apartment worth $700,000.00 today. In a rough neighborhood.

He owns it outright.

It’s 1975.

He has no wife.

No steady girlfriend.

BUT…he’s making $1 million a year.

YES.

He’s actually making $1 million a year.

Why is he living there? Because he’s trying to make A LOT MORE.

He’s in Wall Street.

What’s dinner?

A reader: How much do you make?

Matt: $60 million. *he shrugs*

Cont.

A reader: How powerful are you??

Matt: *he laughs*

VERY.

I’m the governor.

Then US President.

It was in me to be that way.

Cont.

He eats a sandwich. Drinks a soda.

Watches the news.

Goes to sleep on the sofa.

A reader: Are you successful?

Matt: As US President? Yes. Very.

Bush runs in 1996. Wins. I’m before him.

Moloch: Let’s do Alys.

Alys walks briskly. Chic for her time. In 1975.

Long straight hair. Bell bottoms. Polyester flouncy blouse. Wedges. Gucci handbag.

She arrives at her sort of penthouse on the West Side. It’s worth $2 million, today.

She’s a doctor.

She takes frequent vacations to Paris. Yes, literally Paris. Once five times in one year.

She drives a Saab.

At home for dinner she eats potato chips, a salad, rotisserie chicken from a cute restaurant nearby, and she has a cold beer. Imported.

She watches the shows. Calls friends. And listens to music on her record player.

Then she reads and falls asleep. By 10.

Does she have a husband? Not yet. She’ll meet him in ten years, in her 40’s. On a luxurious cruise. Yes, on a luxurious cruise. They call it God and are not able to contemplate it more because it’s too scary. Like, how did they never meet before? How did two such perfect people…happen to be on the same cruise? It actually is kind of shocking. Because he’d never met anyone like her…and vice versa.

Moloch: Okay.

Glenn: Does Alys yell?

Moloch: No. She moves. She only lives in Manhattan for six years. She’s happy and proud of the experience. But that’s it.

Matt isn’t one to stay in the city either.

Glenn: Do we just hate New Yorkers?

Moloch: Yes.

A reader: Alys, why do you and the perfume community hate New Yorkers? Is it just jealousy or are you actually irritated by something?

Eric: We can try to hear her, but, to be clear, and to warn you, it’s not necessarily real.

Alys: I hate feeling insecure.

And…I can be mean.

And…I have a vendetta against city people.

And…I have a serious problem with people who have no interest in me.

Lacey: *thinks*

*tilts her head in contemplation*

Lem: Would I seem interested?

God: No.

Lem: Would our kids?

God: No.

Why Paris?

Alys: I keep trying to love it.

I hate it.

People keep telling me to try again. They insist I just don’t understand it yet.

Are Lem and Lacey French?

God: YES!

Matt’s wife: What’s wrong with the French?

Alys: I just don’t like…something about the way they don’t…notice me?

Matt: Hmm.

Did I notice you?

Alys: No.

Matt: Did that bother you?

Alys: Yes.

Matt: I had run-ins with you, too. You can be mean.

Lacey: Why not go to Spain?

Alys: *thinks*

Yeah!

Lacey: So why not?

Alys: *looks nervous*

I’m not that sophisticated.

I do like international travel. But I’m not like you.

Casi: “Hey! Alys…nice Guerlain Liu!”

Alys: *thinks*

“YOU SUCK!”

Casi: *opens her mouth in shock*

Alys: Yeah…

*later*

Alys: Why was I raised to attack Lacey?

The CIA: Your dad can be heartless.

Her dad: *looks a bit upset*

I’m not very nice.

I’m not-

*much later*

Glenn: I know why she bothers me.

It’s because she’s “harsh”.

I know New York City. It’s common amongst locals. To be harsh.

Except, I don’t think you realize you’re being downvoted. Because I think you have the opposite of Alys. You’re afraid of not being sophisticated.

Don’t think of that. Just be Lady Rosslyn.

Lacey: Hmm.

Glenn: “Lovely collection.” You just showed your Chanel collection. All of it.

Lacey: This is good advice.

I need a moment.

Sorry.

*she thinks*

WOW!

*she thinks*

I’d say, “Thanks so much!” and then leave.

I’d make sure you read it. And then leave.

Alys: Then just leave.

Lem: SHE HAS!! SHE ALREADY HAS.

*a moment later*

A ghost from 9/11: I’ve been flickering the lights. And tonight I made her son score 911 points in a game.

I even appeared to her son.

And I told him that he needed to tell his mom about me. He just told her.

Look. America is turning on its own people.

I’m dead because America is failing, and failed me. Don’t be fooled. …It’s not about the conspiracy theories that you hear. It’s about the fact that I died at all.

*Lacey thinks*

Lacey: I wonder what Matt would have to say.

Matt: I could have prevented it.

*he thinks*

Netanyahu is the best player in the game. He wins. Every time. But not everyone can handle that.

I could. I’m the Duke of Northumberland. …But most men cannot.

Netanyahu: So then what?

Matt: *he looks incredibly sad*

*almost starts crying*

*he needs to take a break*

He needs to be used. Not cruelly.

Netanyahu: Finds this fascinating.

Lacey: I’ve intuited that too!

Matt: He needs to be the puppet master…but…not.

A Jew: YES.

He calls the shots, but he’s managed by his loving wife.

Matt: YES.

Not offensive. Nothing rude. Nothing offensive.

Just…you have to stop being so stupid, in relation to him. Or people did.

As someone who fully understands this…I’d have used him to escape any situation that would cause 9/11. Starting way back in 1989.

Lacey: What about the money?

Matt: We get the money…from…drugs.

I’m being VERY honest.

Lacey: Illegal drugs or legal?

Matt: To be honest, both.

Lacey: How do they sell the illegal drugs safely?

Matt: Yeah. That’s a separate issue.

This is about THE PRICE. And the fact that people who are buying them need to be willing to pay A LOT.

Lacey: *laughs*

How much for it?

Matt: *he looks amused*

$300.00. It sold for $20.00.

The CIA: Really!?

Matt: *he laughs*

You’d be okay with it. I’d make sure everything was covered.

The CIA:

Matt: *he shrugs*

Healthcare…would be about like it is today. 40 years ago.

But there’s no 9/11. No wars in Iraq. No Afghanistan.

Israel: *looks upset*

Matt: Israel would be a booming tourist trap.

Netanyahu: *laughs*

Lem: I like this.

Matt: *runs away, to safety*

*Lacey listens to her neighborhood. People chatting outside. Cars driving by. Crickets.*

Lacey: What the hell is going on!?

I can sense something VERY bizarre is happening.

The CIA: It’s RUSSIA. We suspect.

Bibi picked-up on something too, just now.

Matt: I was actually running to check on that.

Explain who I am.