The Woman II

The woman from last night, who was angry about Lacey and Lem’s date: It’s your problem…because you are the superior one.

Lacey: What are you expecting?

A hater, in the perfume community from Belgium: A HELLO!!

Dr. Moritz: You’re all delusional narcissists.

You’d never talk to me that way.

I deal with people like you, often. But they stick to personal insults and theology. They don’t try to actually ruin my life.

Jack Kennedy’s residual energy: But! That is where WE are different. *he says, cheerfully*

Listen to “All I Wanna Do” by Cheryl Crow.

I don’t think you understand.

Let me explain.

Normally, you can avoid it. The smack down. But with me…you are OBLITERATED.

The woman from last night, who was mad: I don’t understand.

Jack Kennedy: You aren’t being honest.

You get it.

THE WORLD IS OURS.

I AM GOD!

*he laughs*

Moloch: No. He’s not.

Try to be more careful.

Jack Kennedy: NO! I AM GOD!!

A man who hates Lacey, from Belgium: I am GOD too.

Jack Kennedy: NO.

I AM.

Jill Biden: That’s it. I’ll pray to you BOTH.

Jack Kennedy: NO!

Just me.

A man who hates Lacey, from Belgium: He is Jack Kennedy. I’m not him.

I kinda give-up.

Jack Kennedy: I don’t know how to be accountable.

And the Illuminati can’t hold Bobby accountable either.

We’re basically retarded.

So God made me cease to exist. Out of mercy.

Bobby: I can’t hear you!

Jack Kennedy: I know. That’s fine, honey.

God: Can either of you cognitively tell?

Jack Kennedy: Yes. But it’s not easy.

I didn’t want your help.

So I didn’t fix my head.

And now I don’t exist.

God: So you’re saying that you were too stupid to exist?

Jack Kennedy: No. *he laughs*

I was too…screwed-over.

God: What happened?

Jack Kennedy: I’m retarded. Basically.

But…the Illuminati couldn’t handle that.

And I was too evil too.

It’s a bad situation.

Marsie: Isn’t that what Lacey looks like!? *she says with GLEE*

Moloch: You know that’s bullshit.

Are you retarded too?

Marsie: Yes.

I mean, I’m not dumb. But…I wonder if I’m like him…

*she cries for Jack Kennedy*

Lacey: Okay!

So what did you expect of me?

Marsie: *shakes her head, with no clear intention*

Lacey: What did the perfume community expect of me!?

Marsie: WAIT.

I’m actually this dumb?

Moloch: Did you not expect that!?

Marsie: No.

Fine. I lied to myself about her beauty, and fervently believed it.

Jack Kennedy: I did too.

Most of America, weirdly in unison: We all did.

Jack Kennedy: I made you do that.

Marsie: *looks scared*

Jack Kennedy: I made you do that.

Do you understand?

Marsie: *cries*

Jack Kennedy: You aren’t safe.

I’m a monster.

Marsie: *cries*

Jack Kennedy: I just wanted to be God. As in, a monotheist deity.

*he waits for her to understand*

Marsie: *she nods in understanding*

Jack Kennedy: But I’m not.

I’m not God.

And Lem wasn’t even attracted to me.

*he lays down on his back*

Marsie: *cries*

Jack Kennedy: *sleeps*

Lacey: OKAY!!

What did you all expect me to do?

The perfume community: *thinks*

Listen to “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals.

The perfume community: We wanted you to eat our shit.

Lacey: Why me?

The perfume community: Because you’re better at collecting perfume. And everything else.

Lacey: I refuse to do that.

The music plays.

The perfume community: *listens to the song*

We couldn’t just let you be.

We wanted to mess with you.

*later*

Melania Trump: But you felt hurt by her.

The perfume community: She’s prettier than you.

*they smirk*

Melania Trump: Yes.

So what?

The perfume community: What’s so special about you?

Melania Trump: I’m the First Lady.

The perfume community: *laughs at her*

Melania Trump: No. That’s really a big deal.

The perfume community: *thinks*

Is it?

First Lady, Melania Trump: YES. It is.

The perfume community: We could do that.

First Lady, Melania Trump: Oh! So it is a big deal.

The perfume community: You don’t respect Lacey. You could have fixed our heads in relation to her, but you didn’t.

FINE!

Bobby: I feel so bad for them.

They just wanna be loved, Melania.

Glen: This is why gay men SUCK SHIT. …You hear me?

You KNOW y’all did this.

A gay man: I can’t get out.

Bobby has me psychically trapped.

The CIA: Actually…secretly, several years ago…several gay men…did it with him. In the gay community. Online. Several famous gay men.

Lacey: They seem entirely unrepentant.

One of them: I HATE HER!

I HATE ALL BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

And I molest kids.

*he shrugs*

Bobby: Oh wow!

One of them: YOU-!

A demon working with them: So Lacey molests kids!?

One of them: *claps, trying to manifest it*

*Trying to manifest the attack on her*

Bobby: Well!

This is funny.

Say, have you heard I’m Bobby Kennedy Junior?

Melania: This is getting scary.

The perfume community: See! Told you! You’re DUMB!

Melania: But you were hurt by her?

The perfume community: Yes.

Melania: How?

The perfume community: Okay fine. We did need her to be nicer.