The Woman

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: YOU ARE A BITCH! *she says to Lacey* YES, YOU ARE!

Lacey invites you to listen to “The Real Slim Shady” by Eminem.

Lacey: *laughs at her, like she’s just a STUPID adult*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I can’t handle this.

Lacey: YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!

*Lacey yells in her face*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *cries*

Lacey: Oh! Now you’re feminine!?

Nah! That’s me!

YOU UGLY BITCH!

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: You’re a lot tougher than I thought.

Lacey: YOU SUCK!!

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *proudly*

I do suck.

*she laughs*

Lacey: I don’t care!

That’s your problem.

The music plays.

Kaienta: *Joins them*

Lacey invites you to listen to “My Name Is” by Eminem.

Kaienta: She’s not that great. *he says about the woman*

Lacey: I know.

Kaienta: Do you understand that you’re not that…pretty? *he asks the woman*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Yes.

Kaienta: She earnestly thinks that’s impossible.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Because she’s in love with me?

Kaienta: NO!

Are you an idiot?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Kind of?

Kaienta: That’s why.

And you are narcissistic. Admit it.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Yeah. I am.

But…that’s not what this is about…

Another perfume collector: Are you…-

You’re so mean…

Lacey: WHAT!?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Yeah. You are! You’re mean.

Lacey: *she laughs at her again*

Are you braindead? *she asks her*

Listen to “Criminal” by Eminem. It’s spiritually about Tom Banks. Poetically.

A woman who collects “blue and white”: She’s not mean.

That woman is.

Lacey…do you understand…you’re that hot?

Vs

God: Lacey wins. To say otherwise is a LIE.

Vs.

God: The other woman obviously wins. Casi is actually mildly ugly.

Vs.

God: Lacey wins. INSTANTLY.

Casi is actually mildly ugly.

Stop fighting reality.

Lacey: So what’s so confusing?

Bobby: *looking EXTREMELY anxious*

*rocking back and forth in despair, agony and terror*

Jim: Did Lem molest him?

The CIA: No.

He likes to believe Lem was genuinely in love with him, not just…pretending to be, to control him, but…no.

Peter Thiel: I don’t think I knew people other than me…could be that tricky.

The CIA: Oh! Fooling a kid? To control them? Because they know the kid is a narcissist?

Peter: YES!

Who would come up with something that psychologically sophisticated!?

The CIA: WOW!

Really, PETER!?

Peter: *nods, smiling*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I don’t understand why…

Why is she being so mean?

Kaienta: What do you mean!?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I feel dumb every time I talk to you.

Lacey: *blinks*

*blank expression*

A lesbian: OH MY GOD!

SHE IS NOT GAY!

(Lacey, being the she)

Lacey: *confused expression, listening to all this*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: YOU SEEM DUMB.

Lacey: No. I don’t.

*looks confused*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I DO!

Lacey: *scratches her eyelid, because it suddenly itches*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Wow!

You’re COLD.

Lacey: You’re a heartless piece of festering shit?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: No! I’m not.

Lacey: PROVE IT!

Because, to me, that’s what you look like.

I’m sorry.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Would you treat me this way, if you didn’t think I was?

Lacey: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I’m not Casi.

Lacey: Whatever.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I’m just not as good as this person.

Lacey: *gets up, to walk-off*

Moloch: Lacey!

That’s not the custom.

Lacey: *looks confused, and alarmed*

Moloch: You misunderstood!

No, no!

You’re still supposed to sit here!

*he escorts Lacey back to the seat next to the woman*

Lacey: I don’t like this.

Moloch: Why?

Lacey: Every time I’ve been in her spot, people have spit in my face and walked-off spiritually, cutting off my head and stabbing me in the gut first. I’m not being mean. I’m just walking away.

Moloch: You were never inferior though.

Lacey: *thinks*

That’s not what was communicated to me.

God: She’s right.

This is totally unrighteous. Totally unholy. Totally unfair.

You’ve destroyed America. And I don’t mean Lacey, I mean most people in America alive today.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I’m not ugly.

Lacey: Yes, I can tell you actually are.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: But not, really.

Lacey: Yes. *She says, brightly, as if this was and is obvious, and this woman is very evil or dumb.*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *looks angry*

HOW DARE SHE!!!

Moloch: Ahh. So you are just a heartless, brainless narcissist?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I can’t figure this out.

How is she in the right?

I know what I look like…

Moloch: You understand. SHE does not.

And you’re holding on to that…because you’re SICK. You’re a sick, perverted IDIOT.

And you can’t deal with it.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I was molested by my birth father.

And I’m not okay.

So…she can’t understand…that she’s not supposed to say that?

Moloch: Yeah…

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Ahh…we can’t and couldn’t stand your superiority.

People are like that.

But…you’ve experienced it more than you were supposed to, because you’re better looking than most people.

Lacey:

*thinks*

I’ve asked this before: what were you all expecting me to do!?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *thinks*

Can you just say “Hi” more?

Lacey: *laughs*

Absolutely not.

That’s not me.

And people have been FAR too evil. FAR too mean.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Because you’re afraid of being rejected.

Lacey: I’m not inferior to you.

I refuse to be engaged.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I don’t like you.

It’s true.

Lacey: *laughs*

Exactly.

Why should I say hello?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Because you’re trying to make me feel happy.

Lacey: I’m not obviously pretty enough, even though I actually am, to do that.

I have a cousin Linn who does that. But she’s socially obvious.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Interesting.

*she thinks*

Lem: She’s too delicate.

In person it’s obvious, if you actually look.

But it’s not…clear.

People like this woman:

are far more obvious.

This is what we look like, however:

The second woman is better-looking. But you have to take time to see it.

People today don’t think that way anymore.

AND…Lacey’s not as subtle as the second woman. So…it’s very complicated.

Some people can see it! But it’s not safe to assume.

The woman from last night, who was angry about Lacey and Lem’s date: Okay.

I did this.

I knew.

But…also not.

So…you’re not being mean?

Lacey: *looks confused*

The woman from last night, who was angry about Lacey and Lem’s date: I knew I wanted to be better than you. But I assumed that was your problem.

Lacey: How could that possibly be my problem!?