Lacey: What was the point of attacking me?
The perfume community: To-
Lacey: To do what?
The perfume community: To be in control.
Lacey: OF WHAT!?
The perfume community: *thinks*
Casi: To be in control of themselves.
Lacey: Huh.
I’m concerned.
I’m NOT SAFE.
A female hater: Oh shit! She caught me. I was gonna try to get her again!
Lacey: HEY! Casi Hart! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?
An energy resembling her emerges: Yup.
Lacey: I could own a mansion. In Madisonville. OWN!
A HUGE, NEW MANSION.
CAN YOU!?
An energy resembling her emerges:
Lacey: *smiles*
An energy resembling her emerges: No.
Lacey: Why!?
YOU’RE SO SUPERIOR TO ME!?
WHAT HAPPENED!?
An energy resembling her emerges: *cries*
Lacey: *thinks*
Why are you SO full of shit!?
An energy resembling her emerges: *looks upset*
Lacey: Huh.
Where’s YOUR mansion!?
Copying me. MAN! You should OWN A MANSION. EASY!
If you were REALLY me you’d own a HUGE house.
An energy resembling her emerges: *thinks*
Lacey: *waits*
An energy resembling her emerges: *looks nervous*
Lacey: Why are you so CREEPY!?
An energy resembling her emerges: SHIT.
Lacey: *waits*
An energy resembling her emerges: *silence*
Lacey: Have a lovely night, with your husband.
Where is he!?
An energy resembling her emerges: *cries*
Lacey: Wanna see where I could live!? I could!?
NOT YOU!
An energy resembling her emerges: *looks angry*
Lacey: LET US LOOK!’
I could easily buy the most expensive houses. In your area.
THE MOST.
Can you even go in those homes without feeling AWKWARD!? For an open house.
I COULD OWN THEM.
An energy resembling her emerges: No.
Lacey: *shakes her head in disgust*
And you know what PISSES ME OFF!?
HOW DUMB…EVERY DAMN PERSON WHO BUYS YOUR BULLSHIT IS!
An energy resembling her emerges: They don’t know any better.
Lacey: *feels like vomiting*
They’re supposed to!!
An energy resembling her emerges: You’re right.
Lacey: How fake is everyone? Tell me.
An energy resembling her emerges: It’s bad.
Lacey: HOW BAD!?
An energy resembling her emerges: Umm…
It’s bad.
Lacey: Excuse me, I need to collect myself.
*she returns*
Do you want to know the truth? You have nothing to gain by imitating me.
You should imitate the people who actually have money…in the South.
An energy resembling her emerges: I already do!
Lacey: Fair enough.
An energy resembling her emerges: I’m happier with you gone.
Lacey: Yeah right! You’re BORED.
An energy resembling her emerges: Yes.
Lacey: How rich are Dimitry and Mira? From Australia? This is just fiction. But I’m having fun speculating.
An energy resembling her emerges: They have a house.
Lacey: YEAH RIGHT.
Did they pay you to be mean to me?
An energy resembling her emerges: Yes? In a way.
Lacey: They gave you money?
An energy resembling her emerges: Yes.
Mere speculation.
Lacey: How much?
An energy resembling her emerges: $500.00.
Lacey: He’s such a skinny prick. Such a poser.
I can’t stand those two fakes. And they can thank me for it.
An energy resembling her emerges: You tried being nice.
Lacey: Oh fuck! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?
An energy resembling her emerges: They’re fake. They have rich friends with connections but they’re fake.
Lacey: Yuck.
Vomit.
Mira is so fat! And she wears those hideous shoes.
An energy resembling her emerges: What!?
Lacey: Like…-
*Lacey laughs*
Those “strappy” shoes. You know? The ones they used to wear in the 2000’s.
Well…maybe I’m wrong. They’re making a comeback.
But…she’s not wearing them that way.
An energy resembling her emerges: Okay.
Lacey: They’re so middle class. It hurts.
And then they act like they’re ME.
Barely British. But to the stately manner born for them.
An energy resembling her emerges: You are…making interesting observations.
Do you like Chanel Beige?
Lacey: It’s pleasant.
Do you?
An energy resembling her emerges: YES.
Lacey: It’s quite sweet.
An energy resembling her emerges: I like it.
Lacey: You could wear that one!
An energy resembling her emerges: Yeah.
Lacey: Did you feel like Mira stole it?
An energy resembling her emerges: Yes.
Lacey: Do they read this!?
An energy resembling her emerges:
Lacey: Oh well.
I wish you’d have bought it.
I would have been better off. Long-term.
Mira seems classier. But I don’t think she really is.
I assumed she wasn’t interested in competing with me. You seemed…edgy.
I wish I’d known. I wish you’d bought Beige.
Casi: He ignored me. But we did follow each other.
Lacey: Wow.
An energy resembling her emerges: He followed me too.
Lacey: Wow!
Casi: I can’t stand them either!
Lacey: Why?
Casi: The use the industry.
An energy resembling her emerges: What!?
Casi: They have connections. I seen it!
But the way they are? *shakes her head in disgust*
Lacey: I’m confused. Explain.
Casi: He’s been trained.
*she lights-up*
He’s a plant. They don’t have any…objectivity.
Lacey: Who!?
Casi: Guerlain!
Chanel!
He’s on someone’s payroll.
(All views expressed are satire. And art.)
Casi: They can come shoot me. For just being honest!? DO IT!
Better off anyway…
An energy resembling her emerges: He’s not working for anyone!!
Casi: *laughs*
Not on an official basis. Okay. But you can’t tell me he don’t get something!
Another perfume collector: A lot of people do!
Casi: *thinks*
*looks disturbed*
Nah!
NAH!
It’s not the same.
Lacey: Why?
Casi: Because it’s evil.
There’s no way to claim he’s being paid by Chanel. But you can’t tell me he’s not advertising CHANEL.
God: That’s very shrewd.
Casi: I mean…I could be wrong…but I feel like…he’s gotta get something out of it.
Lacey: Is that so terrible though?
Casi: Well…it’s not…except…it feels…gross.
Lacey: Why?
Casi: Because I don’t want that.
I want…actual expertise. Not someone working to sell me Chanel.
Lacey: Well, that’s understandable.
An energy resembling Dimitry: I am an expert!
Casi: *laughs and shakes her head*
I’m not saying you aren’t!
An energy resembling Mira: He’s objective!
Casi: REALLY!?
An energy resembling Dimitry: Okay! What do you think I’m being dishonest about?
Casi: ALL OF CHANEL.
There are others, but Chanel bothers me most.
An energy resembling Mira: What do you think is true?
Casi: *she thinks*
I think you like…the way the bottles look.
I do too!
*she laughs*
But Ivoire de Chanel!? MAN! *she cackles*
I read the notes. …And I’ve smelled-
I’m not an expert, but I’m sure it’s not as DIVINE as you insist, my liege.
An energy resembling Dimitry: *laughs*
It’s…unique.
Casi: *looks cold, but thoughtful*
*awkward silence*
Casi: I want a bottle.
But not to smell.
Lacey: Well…
Anyways.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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