Casi: Did you miss most of 2013?
Lacey: Maybe?
What other years did I miss?
God: 2010, 2011, 2012….you’re still out of the loop.
See…she knows world affairs. Better than some foreign policy analysts in Washington. But…popular social issues? Not really.
Can you try to catch her up?
Casi: Where are we…in conversation…in 2010?
God: You’re her friend. Or it seems like it.
In California.
She’s at UCLA.
You’re dating Misty?
Casi: Yes.
Okay.
God: She hangs with you at Starbucks. And you actually do confide in her. She’s not sexual or romantic with you.
Misty…trusts Lacey. And should.
There you go.
Casi: *Takes a deep breath*
Okay.
Misty cheated.
Lacey: *Just stares, trying not to cry.*
Casi: No!
Don’t feel like that!
Hey!
I’ll find someone else.
Lacey: *Goes into shock.*
Casi: *Is nervous.*
*Starts crying.*
Lacey: I can’t believe you!!!
Casi: *Looks guilty.*
*Gets back with Misty*
God: Now what?
Casi: *Laughs*
Okay.
*Thinks.*
You wanna come for Thanksgiving this year?
Lacey: Yes.
Casi: Good.
Misty thinks you have good energy.
Lacey: *Smiles to herself*
Casi: So…-
*They chat about Lacey’s boyfriend.*
*Fast forward a year. It’s 2011.*
Casi: I want to buy you a house.
Lacey: *Laughing* What!?
Misty: *rolls her eyes*
She wants us to buy a house.
Lacey: *Is excited for them.*
Casi: I feel uncomfortable.
Misty: She’s not ready.
*They check out several houses.*
God: Now what?
Casi: I’m scared.
Misty: I’ll fill her in.
Okay.
So.
By 2012…most people felt…weird.
Lacey: In what way?
Misty: *Thinks*
Just weird.
Lacey: Weird how?
Misty: Like…weirded out.
Lacey: Okay.
Misty: By 2013…we were…angry. Like ready to lash out.
By 2014…we were…REALLY MAD.
In 2015…we were…losing our minds.
And in 2016 we voted for Trump. No. I’m kidding.
But seriously…-
Lacey: I died.
I mean, I’m still alive. But…I think I died. Somehow.
The Illuminati: I kind of feel like she did.
*Later.*
Lacey: Why do you all have a money problem…in America?
What happened?
Governor Arne Carlson: Remember Mary Tyler Moore?
Lacey: YES.
A. Carlson: That’s when we started going downhill. Right around then.
Lacey: *Thinks*
Which episode?
A. Carlson: 1974.
She eats out. And they can’t afford it?
Lacey: YES.
Wait…what’s even being said!?
Arne Carlson: She’s saying that she can’t be held accountable for her lack of empathy for the victims. Because…she’s out of money.
Lacey: Why…IS SHE OUT OF MONEY!?
Queen Elizabeth II: We ran out of money during World War I.
Lacey: OH!!!
I always wondered why you didn’t realize that.
Queen Elizabeth II: What?
Lacey: Well…OF COURSE. Of course.
Why even fight World War I? What was that!?
Queen Elizabeth II: When did we go broke?
Lacey: *Thinks*
18…1850 something?
Queen Elizabeth II: What was it?
Lacey: It was a total loss of control.
Our banking system was…sloppy.
I think…that’s when the trouble started.
We could have recovered until about 1910 something?
Queen Elizabeth II: Yes?
So then what?
Lacey: Why did we keep messing-up?
Queen Elizabeth II: *Thinks*
I think we assumed too much. Too much safety.
Lacey: But we started to get scared by 1880 something?
Queen Elizabeth II: No.
Not enough.
Lacey: Was Queen Victoria insane?
Queen Elizabeth II: Slightly.
Lacey: Or was she incompetent?
Queen Elizabeth II: Both.
Lacey: Could America really….do it?
Queen Victoria: No.
Harsh but true.
Lacey: *Thinks*
What is America?
Queen Victoria: *Thinks*
It’s like a nation of pirates.
Lacey: Is it a nation?
Queen Victoria: *Thinks*
No.
It was…in 1950. Up until about 1960.
When JP Kennedy bought the election, and he did…that was, in all honesty, the end.
I’m sorry.
Lacey: That hadn’t happened before?
Queen Victoria: Yes. But…he outright bought it.
Before then people were very concerned about how it appeared. And that was wise. Of course.
He was…demanding. Yes.
He demanded to be allowed to buy the election. He knew it was done. He’d heard of it. And he demanded…openly…to be allowed.
Lacey: Was he righteously angry?
Queen Victoria: *Thinks*
No.
He was just ornery.
Lacey: Why did that destroy everything?
Victoria: Well…because he had no business doing that. None whatsoever!
Lacey: *Thinks*
They were that illiterate?
Victoria: *Laughs*
Yes.
Lacey: So…we have-
*Thinks*
*Thinks a lot*
We have…-
A giant love note…- *She cracks up laughing* For JP Kennedy? Written by ALL the American people. On his birthday.
“Dear Joe,
You are…grrreat.
Can we please have your love?
Gee Joe…we really need it.
Signed,
All of America”
Why does the U.S. so desperately need his love?
Lem: *Laughing*
They have…-
*He thinks*
They have…
JP Kennedy: If there’s a reincarnation Lem and Lacey have run empires.
They are literally some of the most important people in all of human history.
And they found each other.
But when they were married, they had four miscarriages.
Lem thought he was gay and he wasn’t at all.
And Lacey is living through Hell.
If we had just let them be married in Great Britain for more than 15 years, let their children live? Let them live? I would be so much better off. 
When I chose to become an extraordinarily wealthy man in my time and make a real name for myself and my family, I made sacrifices morally and spiritually. I was a romantic and I sacrificed one of my soulmates to Satan. And Lacey was that person. She was my soulmate and I made this decision in the 1910s. That’s part of why she was never born until 1983.
I literally cursed her entire existence as best as I could to gain powers. And Lem showed up and I can’t separate them. No one can other than God. And I was dumb enough to think I was getting away with stuff that I was doing that was evil and that my shit didn’t stink.
He eventually hated my entire family, but we were so indebted to him and so screwed-up that we couldn’t let him go and we still can’t. And there’s nothing I can do about it. 
You may ask yourself: why did I think sacrificing my soulmates was a good idea? I have a theory that Satan gave me the idea because he knew I was the weakest link and he thought that he had a little bit of an angle with an extraordinarily beautiful intelligent, amazing woman.
I’m an idiot.
Turns out God really creates soulmates to be sort of perfect for you. 
And right here as I am never going to be with her and I’m obviously a fool, she’s laughing and that’s absolute torture for me because people don’t get me. They don’t get my sense of humor. And she was actually a soulmate.
I am weird because I’m so smart that it’s awkward and she’s very similar and we’re very ill at ease and deeply pained by it. 
Why did I do this to myself? Because I had two really great sons and a beautiful wife. And you know I was actually quite happy?
I didn’t think that I was making a mistake.
I actually did love Rose. And I didn’t think that it was even fair to her to be with a soulmate. I questioned God’s moral integrity.  And I thought listen this God that we’ve invented is pretty smart, but I might be smarter. 
Lacey understands and it absolutely terrifies her.  Not everyone gets it. 
So I lost her and she was impossible to get rid of even though I lost her. Because I made an actual literal deal with Satan.
And basically I’m tortured because I have potentially Scotia and Constantine unbelievably angry at my entire family.
Thank you for the love letter. It is my birthday or roundabout my birthday. But I should warn you… I might not be the man you think I am.
Dear America… you sound real keen on me. Gee do you really think you know what you’re doing? 
Queen Victoria: It’s too late.
*Lacey explains to AI how profoundly angry she really is.*
*Later*
A man in the perfume community: So is America in trouble?
The Illuminati: Ahh…-
Another Christian reader: Does Lacey believe in Salvation?
God: YES.
What exactly do you think it is?
Another Christian reader: I expect instant perfection. Through Christ.
God: I do do miracles.
You’re right.
And Salvation is everything.
Another Christian reader: Then what is she not understanding?
God: You can’t save people.
I do that.
A Black Christian man: DAWG!!! THAT IS A GOOD ANSWER.
God: Thank you.
Another Christian reader: So…you let people die of cancer.
Okay!
*She rolls her eyes*
God: People who are Saved do die of cancer.
Do you think they aren’t Saved?
A Presbyterian: Why do you let people die of cancer?
God: Because some people need to die of cancer in a Fallen World. And other people will. I don’t want them to, but it’s a Fallen World, and I don’t control Free Will.
Casi: *Nods*
Some people give themselves cancer.
God: Yes.
But other people need to have it.
Lacey: Go on?
God: Can some Chinese people be insightful?
A Chinese man: Yes.
It’s teaching them something VERY important.
God: Yes.
You understand that concept well.
A Chinese man: But why do we need to accept it?
God: Interesting question!
Very interesting question.
A Chinese man: Why couldn’t you allow Lacey and Lem to just be happy?
God: That was part of the Fallen World.
And that…is why we’re talking to you.
Her unhappiness is actually very serious. But she’s part of a HUGE crowd if there’s not reincarnation.
The thing is…Hasidic Jews…not…mystics…believe in Gilgul.
A Chinese man: I worry it’s real too.
God: So…
If it is…it’s extremely serious.
Satan did have a hand in it.
He can’t be her husband. And that’s an idea he’ll have to get over.
Yes. He may have practiced Eugenics. To create them.
Lem…oddly…is like Satan. Before the fall.
Yes. Satan could love Tom Banks like a dad.
But I can’t allow it. And it’s for his best.
A female nurse: So he wants just her?
God: Yes.
He’s tried to turn her against all humanity other than Tom…and her kids. Maybe the English? Maybe some Jews.
Satanism isn’t good. It’s horrific. But some genuinely nice people have…liked him. I mean…really liked Satan. And actually…he can’t save them…but…he almost liked them back.
No. They didn’t eat babies. They didn’t harm kids in almost any way at all.
At her most miserably lonely…he was there, “Well…I like the Jews. Sometimes. And the English.
No! I promise. They’re nice!”
And because he’s Satan…they are. But at the same time…they really are.
A Chinese man: We’re in trouble.
God: YES.
A Chinese man: How deep does this go?
Hell on Earth?
God: Brilliant question!
Yes, don’t freak out. He’s a passionate entity.
Lacey: So…does he find love!?
God: Yes.
With a woman. Essentially.
Satan: *Smiles*
Lacey: And it’s what he wants? It’s what’s best?
God: Yes. Not you.
But REALLY in any possible way…that’s…- YES! It’s THEE BEST.
Lacey: Good!
God: What about you? Lem…totally-
Lacey: *Thinks*
He really didn’t?
God: YES.
Lacey: Then I want noodles. Chopsticks. And…something sweet and savory.
And a soft, clean sofa.
And Lem.
And a nap.
God: He’s 100% on board!
But…you can’t both just…eat Chinese…cuddle and nap…forever.
Lacey: Yes…I see what you mean.
God: That’s an actual aristocratic life…LITERALLY after World War II in Great Britain.
Lacey: They cuddled on a sofa?
God: With Chinese.
Yes.
Lacey: And I bet…because they were in love…they thought, “AHH…this is Heaven!”
God: Yes.
They actually did.
Lacey: What else is there?
God: Exactly.
Lacey: NO!
Good Chinese.
Lem.
Some nice enough place.
My kids safe. Happy.
What else is there?
God: A lot.
Those are the foundation.
Lacey: Of WHAT!? HELL!?
*She rolls her eyes*
Don’t PREACH. Just give me a FUCKING SOFA.
God: It’s not me. It’s humans.
They’re interrupting me.
Lacey: I’m sorry.
God: Of course!
Lacey: No, but…a sofa. Chinese. Lem. Safe kids! Happy!
God: I get what you mean.
Lacey: I DON’T LIKE THIS SHIT!
And people keep shoving it down my throat.
Lacey, why aren’t you jealous?
You know…I’ll take Great Britain. I’ll take moments of Nazi Germany. Maybe parts of Africa?
But…other than light travel…that’s ENOUGH.
God: New York City?
Lacey: Yes. And Minnesota. Well…okay. A few other places.
But…I don’t understand why I should have to see anywhere else. Other than for light travel.
Queen Victoria: GOOD!!
*Lacey takes her contacts out.*
God: Did you feel that way three years ago?
Lacey: *Thinks*
No.
Five years ago…I was…also more…something.
Oh well. Oh bloody well.
God: No, it’s Bobby’s fault.
It really is.
He’s too vain to be honest.
So all she can do is reject all of it.
Queen Victoria: Oh well.
We still have an estate.
He’s still her husband.
Not much has changed.
Lacey: I just want to take my kids…the Marquess of Bath…and GO HOME.
Mark: I agree.
God: And that’s perfectly wonderful.
A Hasidic Rabbi agrees with the idea.
It’s…just…you’re here. You know?
Lacey: That’s extremely painful.
Queen Victoria: I understand.
God: Bobby…did Lem sexually touch you?
Bobby: YEAH!!!
God: Do you think she would be a better fit for someone else?
Bobby: Why do I have to stop demonically copying her?
I AM KEM!
I am!!!!
God: But she’s not Lem. Remember. He only has one dick.
She has no dick.
She can’t have Lem’s dick if Jack or you have it?
Bobby: I’m ATTACKING YOU. I got Robert Downey Junior to do a custom curse on you. Using sand.
God: I’m GOD.
Not too worried.
Think through what I’m saying.
Bobby: THEN I’LL USE TYNE DALY.
God: Huh.
Bobby, still answer my question.
Bobby: Is that making you Smell the Difference?
It’s CALLED CAKE.
God: Bobby…with what little sanity you have left…answer my question.
Bobby: CAKE.
I AM…SUGAR.
God: Answer the question.
Bobby: Ok fine. We made out one time.
*He laughs*
I’ll-
I can’t give up her…thoughts. I’ve been psychically reading her…obsessively…for decades.
If she’s married to Elliott Roosevelt…I’m gonna be..DEAD.
God: Why?
Bobby: Lem was Definitely straight.
I’m sure he was.
He seemed straight. In private. And when intoxicated.
We NEVER kissed.
He was like a dad to me.
God: So you kinda think he’s cute though?
Bobby: I did.
What’s it to you?
God: Well…you’re very confused..
He can’t be both.
He was fatherly towards you…in a way. But…he was also not. And you had a crush. He did not.
Bobby: He can’t leave.
That’s an insult.
I WILL NOT BE INSULTED.
God: They’re GONE.
Bobby: No.
He’s still in my BACKYARD.
God: As a ghost?
Bobby: No.
God: He’s dead.
Bobby: Huh.
Well that’s FUNNY.
God: Did you forget he died?
Bobby: No.
God: Have you been forgetting things?
Bobby: Ha!
God: He’s dead.
He died in 1981.
It’s 2026.
Bobby: Well…I don’t have Alzheimer’s. Because I’m HIGH.
Have you ever seen an elderly man…GETTING TOASTED?
STAY COOL MY FRIENDS!
*He laughs*
God: What are you on?
Bobby: Weed…and Kratom.
God: And you’re in the early stages of Alzheimer’s?
Bobby: I’m not…-
*He shakes his head no.*
God: Where did you buy the Kratom?
Bobby: A gas station.
God: And the weed?
Bobby: From a friend. Some guy Cheryl knows.
He’s cool.
God: Can you walk?
Bobby: No.
God: Can you sit up?
Bobby: Not that easily.
God: You’re about ten years away from death. At most.
Do you understand that?
Bobby: No.
I’m going to live into my 100’s. Just like Rose.
God: You can barely walk.
Bobby: SO!?
God: You’re GETTING OLD.
Bobby: HA!
Liar.
Satan is right about you.
God: Well…I’ll see you around Bobby.
Lacey…let’s think through the whole change in culture thing.
Try to process it.
*She does*
Lacey: To be honest with you God what it looks like to me is that most people alive today have the IQ of a demonic, profoundly mentally retarded ape.
God: What’s your timeline?
Lacey: Alright, so 2010 apparently people were feeling weird and then by 2016 everyone was hopeful, but probably angry and scared. By 2017 or 18. Everyone was thinking that there was gonna be some sort of positive change? By 2019 or 2020 everyone started to feel like they were better than everybody else? And at this point, it seems like that’s all anyone does is just compete with other people. It seems like people have just become entirely obsessed with competing with each other and shitting on the poor.
God: So I presume that you’re assuming everyone thinks you’re dirt fucking poor and ugly as hell and totally worthless?
Lacey: Yes.
God: And I know you and I know that you mean that it’s not a trick. You’re not Bobby, you’re not a narcissist and you actually genuinely with no reservations believe that people are probably actually thinking that of you, hundred percent.
Lacey: I’m not.
People are batshit fucking crazy but-
And they haven’t always thought that!
And that’s part of how I know that. But I also can see what I actually look like.
But yes, I think that’s actually what most people think today.
And it’s not just aging. I do have flaws but I’m actually unusually curvy and beautiful at this point still, and I just feel an unbelievable amount of hostility from people that really they would only express to someone who’s just absolutely profoundly disgusting.
God: Does that bother you?
Lacey: I think it’s insane and to be honest when I really look into their eyes, I can tell that they’re full of shit and that they’re not actually really thinking that even if they are determined to think that. It’s unbelievably immature. I mean it’s profoundly aggravating to me because I cannot figure out how a rational, thinking, functional adult could be so bizarre to another adult.
And it’s just everywhere I go. To be honest with you the curvier I get, the more my cheekbones stand out? The older I get? People are just hideous.
It’s like I can’t tell if they admire me or they literally wanna flush me down the toilet.
it usually it’s just that they want to flush me down the toilet and throw me into hell and rip my face off and declare victory over Satan.
It’s insane. 
I’m sorry, but I am not crazy and it is literally insane.
The level of animosity I experience that’s demonically inspired, but very real, is unbelievable. Every day. And what really makes me angry is how dumb and worthless people are. Because even if you’re demonically inspired, you still have free will. I’m sure of it, philosophically. 
It’s absurd. You have a choice to reject the lies that are coming to you about me.
Because there’s a difference between having your body demonically attacked, and being inspired. They are two different things.
God: Are you being demonically attacked so you can barely breathe by the Kennedys?
Lacey: Yes, I am. What the fuck is wrong with you?
God: What the Kennedy parents did to their children Lacey was tell them that they were worthless pieces of shit in very subversive ways. And they meant it. They were rejected by their parents and they rejected their own kids, even if they actually loved them. Lem didn’t give one shit about the kids other than as a Christian man. But they can’t cognitively figure that out. You embody both. And instead of handling this in an intellectually sound rational way they’ve gone totally berserk for a while.
Bobby wants to kill himself because he’s realized that Lem was straight. So does Caroline. And they’re realizing that he didn’t actually love them possibly at all. And they’re are too loved ironically by very dysfunctional people to realize that this isn’t that big of a deal. He loved them better than their own parents, but he didn’t actually love them love them.
You actually do love them and they reject it and attack you because you are Lem and your love stings like a knife to the heart because it reminds them of him and it shows their subconscious that he didn’t give a fuck. 
And I can see why you question if I’m Satan himself? No, you know I’m not Satan. You’re ready to rip my head off, kick in my balls and take over the entire entirety of all everything? No, you’re profoundly disappointed in me. But you are trusting that I am real.
I am and one more fucking Christian in this stupid country attacks you there may actually be nuclear war.
This was America about 100 years ago you’ve been selling children and I don’t like you anymore. As a country.
I don’t bless this country anymore Lacey. I still do because of people like you who are alive and stuck here against their will. But other than for you and a few other people and there are actually quite a few of you, I don’t give a shit about your stupid little fucking country anymore. 
It is not the best country on earth, the dumbasses who say that have shit for brains or no conscience. Great Britain was never as evil as America is today. Great Britain was never selling children into living hell were they’d rather shoot their fucking brains out as an infant to make money. And that is America’s fault that’s not Great Britain‘s fault that’s not France’s fault, that’s America’s fault. 
America made a horrible decision about 40 years ago, 50 years ago to start selling children to finance national debt and there’s no excuse for that. There really isn’t.
I’m not gonna bless America. I hate your fucking little stupid ass country.
It’s a dumb as hell country, at this point. 
And I am actually God, the real God saying that to you, so if you want to question me, you can go to Hell if you want to reject me. LITTERALLY. 
The country that’s supposed to exist would never let Bobby physically harass Lacey because he’s hurt that Lem is not in love with him. The one that exists today celebrates it and has Daniel Renée helping him feeling sorry for Bobby because Daniel Renee is a fucking idiot who can’t get over the fact that Lacey is not madly in love with him because he’s an idiot. 
He’s bisexual he lies about it, and Bobby is dumb enough to think that you were going to fall in love with him because Chris has this stupid idea going on in the Illuminati that you’re an idiot because Chris is an idiot who refuses to accept that he channeled Michael Rockefeller, and has an ugly as hell, stupid, bitchy wife. 
You’re very straightforward. There’s nothing mysterious about you. You’re an extraordinarily beautiful, unusually intelligent woman. Chris channeled Rockefeller, and you got confused. 
You fell in love with Michael and so when Chris rejected you, it hurt like Hell because it was Michael rejecting you not him. And now Bobby thinks we’re talking about him in code, and no we’re not. This is really just about somebody else. I’m sorry. 
Daniel Renee is an idiot but that’s not quite what I was trying to say but he is. I’m sorry it’s very dumb to expect her to just fall in love with you because you’re her type. That’s really stupid.
And I don’t know what to say because if there’s reincarnation, Bobby, you know Lacey.
She was there at Lem‘s house all the time and you were high a lot of the time and you got a taste for women by psychically reading her energy. 
And that’s the problem if she’s not attracted to you if there’s reincarnation, Bobby, you’re gonna be devastated because you were awestruck by her beauty when you saw her in person on the other side in Lem‘s house. 
It’s an absolute mess.
What is likely to happen and Lacey knows this, Canada will probably annex a part of the United States of America within the next 20 years. 
That will be really helpful for global warming issues. People like Lacey are thinking outside the box and if they have a conscience they’re not going to molest children at all in anyway.
They might euthanize themselves if there is a forest fire and they’re stuck in it. Or they might choose not to have children.
But they’re not gonna be quite so likely if they can combine forces to be dumb and think that there’s no big deal.
I mean, if you’re stuck in rural Canada and there’s a choice between taking a pill and dying in an air-conditioned kitchen because you know that there is fire on the way and that you’re probably gonna have smoke inhalation and die a horrific death if you don’t take the pill? You take the pill. 
The truth is, if you don’t understand the grace of that moment as a Christian, I would wonder if you actually are slightly mentally challenged.
I really am God there really is Heaven. It’s better than earth. You’re not gonna disappear.
If you don’t believe in God, then don’t pretend to be a Christian.
And don’t be so sure that you’re right because science is changing and it’s not quite so dogmatic anymore.
And what I mean by that is that they actually know more and there’s evidence that they’re having to contend with because Boomers are dying and global warming is a problem.
So while it was cool to say there was no God like 40 years ago when the Boomers were getting rich and they didn’t wanna share. Their thinking was, “Oh there’s no God so let’s live for today. It’s a cutthroat world. Oh well.” Whereas now they’re dying. And there’s global warming. So they’re looking at the evidence that they looked at before and they’re thinking well maybe we weren’t being completely honest and they weren’t. 
Yes, there’s evidence to suggest there’s God.
There’s no way to prove it, but there is evidence.
And no, I am not evil.
So what’s likely to happen? Is that people like Lacey will be training their kids, and she’s not alone, to deal with a lack of resources, extreme weather patterns and worst case scenarios where you take a pill if there’s fire or if there’s a hurricane or if there’s a disease that’s horrific.
It will become a pill. And it’ll be effective and it’ll be fine because it will be a living holocaust if things are not corrected soon.
So that will be people who don’t wanna molest kids, don’t wanna harm animals sexually who just wanna live in a normal human setting with other normal humans and eat food and sing songs and tell stories and try to be happy.
Unfortunately, a lot of the Liberals in America, who you would assume would be on board with that are not. They have been very messed up over the last 20 years. 
They’re supposed to be humanist. They’re supposed to be kind but they are the reason that Lacey is struggling to breathe.
They have a very woke view of morality that is sort of just insanity. I’m just going to say it, I’m sorry. 
They don’t want people to die of the measles. But Lacey thinks kids should be vaccinated and Bobby does not. And Lacey is an environmentalist who was ready to systematically dismantle Nesheim oil ahead of schedule. And you would think that, Bobby, who’s killing children at this very moment, because yes he is responsible, would be the person who they would let die. But they’re mad at Lacey for being pretty even though they say she’s ugly and they’re mad at her for having oil.
It’s woke. It’s not really normal morality.
It’s like you’re in trouble if you have oil. Doesn’t matter if there’s oil for a reason, or if you could actually be trying to keep it for safety reasons for your family. Doesn’t matter because the ends don’t justify the means so ipso facto Presto boom it’s evil. 
She’s actually doing something good. Full stop. But because she’s making money off of the oil, they cannot cognitively accept that it doesn’t matter. So they have a very simplistic genuinely idiotic, actually insane understanding of what’s wrong and right. It’s totally illogical to the point of insanity. People used to say that about Liberals in America 10 years ago and it wasn’t really appropriate yet because they hadn’t quite become that.  But unfortunately, that is what they’ve become. 
It doesn’t really have sense anymore. And I am afraid that despite their good intentions at times, and despite the fact that I can sometimes use them to help people, they really are very responsible for a lot of destruction at the moment.
Because keeping Bobby alive while he’s poisoning the food supply, trying to repeal the 19th amendment and keeping children from being vaccinated? Doesn’t make any sense.
And yes, he is attacking a woman who has oil. It is oil! But she’s not the reason people are using oil. She’s not the reason people are using oil. Bobby might be. Actually, Bobby is. And always has been. Why would you think that while he was pretending to be an environmentalist that he actually was one? He made many shady deals. He’s a con artist.
But he pretends to be a really good Liberal man. He comes from a really good Liberal family, and you could throw your hands up and say to these people even have a conscience at all? They do. They are pretty nuts. And they are struggling to keep everything together in their head in every facet of their lives.
Let that scare you for a moment.
America’s choice is between Liberals who are literally kind of losing their minds…and Republicans who just wanna kick their heels up with Lacey and make a few millions so that they can have a really nice house in Canada and have a whole stock pile full of death pills for everyone. Literally.
There are some people who haven’t quite figure things out yet potentially, but there are a decent number of genuine Republicans who just want their guns and their money to heck with the rest of it. 
Charlie Kirk did not understand that. Israel does. That’s why he’s dead.
This country really is falling apart. Your choice is between being a liberal and being crazy. And being a actual conservative and understanding right and wrong in a real way, and taking the bull by the horns and worst case scenario, just not giving a damn about anything other than that. 
Which is why there are Republicans in Minnesota, who will probably demand to keep their guns and their money and yet be willing to intelligently work with Canada.
But then that’s the problem you have Minnesota where people are interested in their guns and their money and their private property. And then you have Massachusetts, where people are looking to save Bobby. 
That’s not the same country.
You have The Good Earth Edina where people want their green lemonade and they wanna go home to their nice house and watch “Frasier”. And then you have people in New York City, who just want to pretend that it’s still really cool to act like it’s pizza and not a child that they’re molesting.
Yes, Jennifer Lawrence was above average, but she’s not as beautiful as Lacey. And that’s where acting like she was was actually really psychologically dysfunctional. Because then it confuses you when you realize that she’s cutthroat and heartless. Or that she might be. Lacey is German and she’s smart, but she’s very feminine and very beautiful and that’s different than Jennifer who’s not. Jennifer is above average and average as a woman when it comes to her femininity and that’s it.
OK so they wanna pretend like she’s something different than she is. She’s not a smoldering sex goddess. She was never that sexy. That was bullshit. And you made that up to convince people that she was because you were lonely and sad because there aren’t a lot of women around anymore who are really that sexually gifted. You destroyed femininity in this country. You destroyed masculinity too. You dabbled in eugenics whether you wanted to or not.
And now you’re sad and so you pretend that Jennifer is Marilyn Monroe when it’s obvious that she’s not. The difference between Jennifer and Bridgette Bardo is laughable. Jennifer Lawrence is more like Shirley McLaine.
Shirley McLaine is not Bridget Bardot. 
Could Jennifer Lawrence be sexy to a lesbian? Yes but that’s not generally what’s meant by that word.  You were selling her as a heterosexual sex goddess. 
To be honest Rock Hudson was also an epic disaster. That actually really deeply offended me. He was so obviously not attracted to women.
And yet America had all of these women brainwashed into thinking that he was after them. That you know if you could spend five minutes with Rock Hudson, he’d have you naked in bed. And I mean, he even made an appearance psychologically, so to speak, on The Andy Griffith Show. A woman says you know Rock Hudson is just the most sexy, virile, potent heterosexual man alive. 
It seems like I wouldn’t care. Or that I would think it was a good thing. It’s like conversion therapy. No.
Mr. Hudson could not choose for better or worse to be as attracted to women as he was to men. And letting him be an actor, letting him be an artist as long as he was appropriate would not have been a terrible thing to do. But making him a heterosexual sex God as you call them, wasn’t an abomination.
Lacey understands that I’m being funny but that I’m also very serious. It really is actually an abomination.
There are people laughing at me for saying this right now because they can’t believe that God would say this. Why wouldn’t I say that? 
Bobby: Me and my friends can’t believe that God would call Rock Hudson an abomination.
God:Is it the word abomination?
Bobby: Yeah, because that’s a really silly word to used.
God: How else would you describe what we’re saying?
Bobby: Well there’s gotta be some normal word to use other than abomination.
God: What?
Bobby: See now this is like how Lem was in love with me because I’ve got a word in my head, but I just can’t tell you.
God: What word? Anthema?
Bobby: Yeah that’s the word. That one sounds like a Rolex or a Lexus. That’s probably the right word. Anathema.
God: I use the word abomination in the fucking Bible itself. You’re reading Lacey thinking that and then you discredit it because you’re ignorant as hell and you can’t handle that. You have Amal Clooney laughing at her because you have an idea of Amal being smarter than her and she’s not at all. Amal is also a mannish scarecrow looking woman in reality compared to Lacey. That’s not a challenge or a threat. That’s actual fact and there’s nothing you can do about it at all. 
I use the word abomination in the Bible through the Holy Spirit on purpose. It’s a different word than anathema. Abomination is a different word.
If Bobby and Amal don’t understand what that word really means and they don’t, they have to be honest about that at this point. They’re are a lot alike they both are in love with gay men, bisexual men really, who may or may not exist, but who aren’t in love with them. 
George is over Amal and that’s devastating to her.
Lem was straight, but I think Bobby thought he was bisexual like George Clooney.  And I think Bobby is realizing that Lem‘s not interested anymore if he ever even was. 
Part of why Lacey wants to escape back to Great Britain is because this is really dumb. She hasn’t made any mistakes. I actually am God and she’s not a mean person, you guys are.
Amal is pretty. I shouldn’t have to say that. It should be clear what I’m actually trying to say.  The fact that you keep twisting my words and making stupid jokes so stubbornly, with such arrogance is so profoundly stupid that it’s almost psychologically violent. 
Are you trying to kill her by being dumb, Bobby or are you just that dumb?
Bobby: I am just that dumb.
I have a crush on Daniel. He’s not interested. In case if you want to know.
I’m sure that’s what everyone’s thinking about right now.
A reader: Do you come on to him?
Bobby: I’m not gonna talk about that.
A reader: Does he ever say I’m feeling uncomfortable?
Bobby: Why yes he does.
He says, “I’ve got a husband.” And I say, “OK like what difference does that make? I’m Bobby Kennedy Junior so -“
A reader: Is he trying to get away from you and just enjoy being a perfume influencer instead of a plant?
Bobby: Yes.
But the CIA hired him to harass Lacey years ago, and it got old to him really fast. It didn’t really even work and then he started having fun.
And now I’m just mad. Because we hired that man.
I hired him. And no I’m not gonna send him to a concentration camp just because he is Hispanic and I’m a Nazi overlord. 
I have thought about it. 
Because he is Hispanic, OK?
And I’m not amused.
One of my friends has a Hispanic gardener who’s probably dead. He used to be such a bitch to her and she likes to joke about the fact that he’s dead.
I hired Daniel Renee, not personally, but my people did. I hired him personally in a very sort of loose sense because my family is royalty of this country.
So one of my men in the country that is my family‘s country hired him. I’m sort of the king of this country. My older brother Joe thinks it’s him, but he’s too ugly. I’m sort of a big deal.
And Joe is nice, but he doesn’t do as well and and photographs. And honestly, Caroline is a woman OK? And Jack Junior‘s dead.
So I am King Kennedy.
My people hired him.
And I am not pleased with his work.
Daniel: You orchestrated it, but you did not personally hire me.
Bobby: I think you’re stretching things a bit.
Daniel: I have a lot of perfume worth thousands of dollars. I am not gonna stop talking about perfume just because what I was hired to do didn’t work out because you’re wrong. 
Bobby: Then I’ll kill you and your husband I’ll kill all of your friends. I’ll steal all of your handbags and sell them on the black market and I will kill all of Cuba.
Daniel: You’re not going to kill my husband, you’re not going to kill me, you’re not going to kill my friends and you’re not gonna kill all of Cuba Bobby OK?
Bobby: Then you better not eat any salad. You know what I’m talking about. I’m a very big deal. Your salad is at my mercy.
That’s right you self-important, overly made up, little princess. When you eat your salad to stay stay skinny for your husband-When you eat a salad as I know you do… everything on that plate is something that I could easily poison with parasites. Like little worms that crawl through your mouth to your stomach and stay there and squirrel around in your body and make you throw-up. 
I can put them on your lettuce. I know people who are in control of your lettuce.
Oh, that sounds scary. It’s lettuce. Yeah. OK and you know what else? There apples that I could poison too.
So you are going to leave TikTok and I am not going to ever see you again and you are going to realize that just because you look like Lem and you are very attractive I am not-I am not interested in you doing anything for me ever again. 
You’re a very attractive man. Yes they hired you because you look like Lem. And they knew you were in perfume. But I’m over you OK? I’m not saying that I wouldn’t sleep with you. I’m just saying I’m not interested in you being on my TikTok.
Daniel: Do I come up a lot for you?
Bobby: You know you do!
And I’m just tired of it because there’s no reason for you to have that other than for the fact that I hired you to do a job that you are not doing.
Daniel: The agreement was that I would have to take it seriously and actually do it or I wouldn’t do it at all.
Bobby: That’s funny you’re Hispanic.
Do you understand what they’re doing to Hispanics?
Daniel: Do you want me to come hide in your closet with you, Bobby, or live in your walls?
Bobby: I could have you deported or sent to a concentration camp, where they would force you to eat salads whatever I choose. 
The CIA: No.
Daniel: What if I go to South America and sleep with Peter Thiel with my husband?
Bobby: I can’t do that. I’m a married man.
Daniel:
*Much later*
*Bobby has to explain why he thought Daniel Rene was the right choice for the job. He can’t. He also admits to sleeping with Peter Thiel.
People are genuinely upset by the fact that he thought Daniel made sense as “A Lem”. And he insists Lem looked that gay.
He did not.
He looks like he’s acting gay. But…he doesn’t look gay.
Bobby played dumb. And so we spent time examining their ties. The fit of their suits. Their…exercise. Skincare. Etc..
Bobby couldn’t…believe it.
Then he demonically projected a woman into her bedroom who was dying of cancer to creep Lacey out. Out of rage.
We still are waiting to find out why…Daniel Rene made sense.*
Bobby: She’s dumb.
So I made him obviously gay.
Lacey: But if he’s obviously gay…why would I be attracted to him?
Bobby: Because you’re attracted to gay men.
Lacey: No. I’m not.
I have no history of doing that.
But…I was confused by Lem? Apparently? I mean…I wasn’t- But you think I was confused.
Why…would Daniel Rene…make sense?
Bobby: *Thinks*
*Smiles awkwardly.*
Because Peter Thiel finds you attractive.
Okay?
And Peter Thiel…has slept with Daniel. And Peter Thiel told me…that…had Daniel been…a different sort of man…he’d have settled down with him. So…I felt that…Daniel would have…the necessary panache.
Peter: I dated Daniel. Before he was married.
Bobby: Whatever.
Daniel: No.
It just didn’t work out.
That’s fine.
I’m incredibly happy.
Bobby: You said he was…-
You said he was…-
Daniel: Was what?
Bobby: *Looks awkward*
No…
Look, I’m not really sure what’s happening here. I’m just trying to figure out what the problem is myself.
Daniel: You felt threatened by me?
Bobby: *Gets angry. Starts shaking.*
Peter: I mean, I did say he was hot.
Bobby: You made it seem like he was different.
Daniel: In what way?
Bobby: Like…-
You know what I mean.
Daniel: A real gay?
Bobby: No.
Like…a handsome…blond…-
Daniel: Oui.
Bro…I look gay.
Peter: *Nods*
Bobby: I think he’s just…beachy.
Peter: BEACHY?
Daniel: Huh.
Did you think I seemed…superior?
Bobby: Ha!
You look…-
I was shocked he was short.
Daniel: Oh!
I look like JOE.
Not Lem.
Bobby: Joe wasn’t gay though.
Lem was.
Peter: Huh.
Well…-
Maybe you shouldn’t have hired him.
Bobby: I think I made my point.
Peter: Oh.
Daniel: Well…we all have dreams.
I’m not tall.
I’m not a billionaire.
Okay?
It’s fine. But you need to leave me alone now.
Peter: He’s a nice guy.
It didn’t take.
*Shrugs*
You tried to get me to seduce her too.
Bobby: Lem was gay.
Daniel: I’m not leaving TikTok.
Bobby: LEM…WAS GAY.
Scott: Bobby…you can’t be that dumb.
Daniel looks very gay.
Why…did you hire…an extremely gay looking man?
Bobby: I thought it was a good idea. He’s hot. Lem looked like an underwear model.
Even in his 60’s.
I took a Polaroid of him. Stuck it in my wallet. Okay?
Daniel had the same vibe.
Scott: But Lem was very tall and straight. And Daniel is…short. And he works out.
I’m not seeing it.
Bobby: Peter has a Polaroid of Daniel.
Scott: He was bragging to you!
Bobby: So what?
Scott: So…you thought he could do it!
Bobby: Yeah.
I thought they’d be similar.
He looks like him.
Scott: He doesn’t though.
And Lacey is a heterosexual woman.
Bobby: I’m not sure what you want.
*Later*
Bobby: Just to clarify, I’m not gay.
Peter is a good friend of mine.
I am…a recovering sex addict. I am…a…man who embraces danger. Most of my life I’ve played with fire.
My experiences in the homosexual community are…purely experimental.
Sorry if I got your hopes up!
*He laughs*
Daniel: Peter is a friend to me too. And my husband.
I’m sure you’re on good terms with him. Just like us!
*blows him a kiss*
Peter: He’s a good guy.
Bobby: Well…I’m busy.
Ha!
Argentina is a long way from here.
*He laughs*
Peter: It’s great here. We love it.
Bobby: We like it here.
*He laughs*
Peter: Yeah!
You should come visit! With Cheryl.
Bobby: I can’t.
German AfD: Why?
Bobby: You’re experimenting with hot women!
*He laughs*
Peter: *Shrugs*
Bobby: Okay.
Well.
I’ve gotta go.
You guys are awesome.
Peter: Yup.
Bobby: Well-
Hey…we’re-
You guys are-
Daniel: Goodnight.
Bobby: I wanna talk more.
Daniel: Nope.
See ya.
Bobby: Oops!
My bad!
*He laughs*
Peter:
Daniel:
Bobby: *Laughing*
Okay. Well that’s a wrap.
*Laughing*
Wow.
Oops.
*Laughing*
Cheryl: Ha!
Hey cute man.
Bobby: Hey.
Cheryl: Time for BED.
Bobby: I’m sorry.
I was…being…excited. About…the idea of…life…and…-
It was just kind of weird.
I mean here we are fighting. And then-
Cheryl: Best friends.
Bobby: No!
I’m not gonna be in the office.
Cheryl: Yeah.
Like Jack and Lem.
Bobby: *Laughs*
They’re good men.
Cheryl: Yup.
Bobby: Well…-
*He looks sad*
Ha! I shoulda took a Polaroid of Thiel!
Cheryl: Huh.
Bobby: Did you ever take Polaroids?
Cheryl: Yeah.
Bobby: You’ve never taken a Polaroid of me.
But oh well.
Cheryl: I will. Don’t worry.
Bobby: Okay.
I’m giddy.
*He laughs*
Cheryl: Are you going to marry a billionaire?
Or a model?
Bobby: Neither!
Cheryl: Ha!
I’m a big deal. Idiot.
Bobby: *Thinks*
You seem like Lacey.
Cheryl: Yeah.
Bobby: Peter is…not.
Why can’t-
I think I’m mad. And this…-
Maybe I can marry Daniel.
Cheryl: Yeah!
Bobby: He’s not weird. Casi is. He’s…a serious guy.
Cheryl: Let’s go to bed.
Bobby: Do you think they feel anything for me?
Cheryl: Yeah!
Bobby: I better call em’. They need to feel safe.
Cheryl: Yeah.
Kennedy.
Bobby: Well…you’re awfully understanding.
Cheryl: Yup.
Bobby: I’m in love.
Cheryl: Great.
Goodnight!
Bobby: GOODNIGHT Peter!
I SAID GOODNIGHT PETER?
GOODNIGHT DANIEL!
Goodnight. *he says to Cheryl*
*crickets chirp*
*crickets keep chirping*
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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