With the price of oil skyrocketing, industry analysts are pleading, within the Illuminati, for help. Harold Loeb is deployed to talk with Lacey and Lem about what she said.
Hal Loeb: I have done some research, and it appears that there are many people who felt you were “saying you were better than them”. Not as in, you were actually saying it. Like, you were “saying” it.
Did you understand that, Lacey?
Lacey: No.
No. I thought people were treating me like I had said that to be cruel. Not because I was ever actually saying that, but because they just…hate me.
Harold: Can you or will you ever trust that they weren’t just being sadistic, at this point?
Lacey: NO.
Not until God himself can sort it out.
Hal: So…Lem wanted to explain this to you, but Bobby has silenced his energy with the demonic. Of course.
And…thankfully you can hear me.
Listen to “Hot Blooded {slow//reverb} by New Constellations & Slow Reverb.
Hal: Why wouldn’t you just assume that people were thinking that?
Lacey: It doesn’t look like that.
And frankly, I’m open to the idea…but I’ll never fully believe that that was what happened.
Hal: So you’ve had that bad of an experience with people in general in life?
Lacey: Yes.
No, I know good people exist. But…I’ve met A LOT of bad people. A lot.
Daveigh: Not alone.
She’s not alone.
…A lot of hot Millennial chicks…are dead…because we were treated like worthless, evil creatures. I’m glad I’m dead, to be blunt.
Life nowadays can suck shit.
A Millennial reader: How you doing?!?
Daveigh: *Cries*
Better.
*She shrugs*
A Millennial female reader: Girl…I’m glad you’re doing better.
Daveigh: Yeah.
Listen to “Hot Blooded” by New Constellations.
2:00
Hal: So…would that make sense of what’s happened?
Lacey: Yes.
But I can’t-
*She cracks-up laughing.*
I can’t believe people took it that way!
Hal: Yeah!
Which is why you still have huge hesitations.
Lacey: I was truly just standing-up for myself.
Hal: You were. In reality. …But there are some…nuances…I think you missed.
First of all, people actually do think you’re very beautiful, for real.
Lacey: I am. Whether or not anyone alive…chooses to see that? I don’t know.
Hal: Yeah.
Well…let’s say they do. …And then imagine there do…and then you say what you did?
Lacey: I suppose they would be more on edge.
Listen to “Waterfall” by Vök.
Hal: They were. And are.
But you don’t genuinely understand that, at all.
And I can’t fix that.
Oh well.
2:00
Hal: So…let’s say…that…all of these people are also incredibly down on themselves. About their backgrounds.
Lacey: And then?
Hal: They’re…on edge…and then…you say your old money. And then…they feel…stung.
Like…you’re stabbing them.
Lacey: But they started it. It was just…a response to their concerns, so to speak.
Hal: Yes! But…they were lying.
Lacey: Lying how!?
Hal: They were actually intimidated by you.
Lacey: *Smirks*
Yeah right.
These people are HIGHER THAN A KITE on themselves. They’re…not that bad to deal with. You just have to stay out their way.
Hal: Is that how you’ve been dealing with being bullied since childhood?
Lacey: Yes!!!
And it’s perfectly effective. But I got lonely, so I joined Instagram. And then a bunch of losers got up in my face and wouldn’t let it go.
Hal: What do you think motivated them?
Lacey: *Laughs*
Pure emotion.
Deep, passionate love for their own egos.
*She laughs.*
Hal: Yes. It’d be touching if it wasn’t perverse and cruel.
Lacey: Yes. They’re…simply mad about themselves. It’s almost touching indeed.
Hal: What if I were to say that…not all of them are psycho narcissists? …Some of them genuinely just misunderstood you.
Lacey: It’s a lovely thought. But I don’t believe it.
Hal: So you’re almost convinced there they’re just narcissistically…obsessed with themselves?
Lacey: *Laughs lovingly*
Yes.
It’s not that they don’t have reason to love themselves. I actually have liked some of them. …But…they obviously take it a bit too far.
Hal: I think you were supposed to understand what they were doing.
Lacey: To me they just seem…deranged.
It’s good to love yourself. But not…to the point…where if someone better looking is in front of you…you literally want to rip their face off.
*She laughs*
Hal: Indeed.
The Earl of Rosslyn, in 1862: *Laughs*
To Lacey, her beauty is…competence. Purely. In her own self-perception.
It’s just being competent. …And that’s all.
Listen to “The Perfect Girl” by Mareux.
Daveigh: I actually relate to that.
Lacey: Yeah!
Jonah: So you ladies…it’s…not…fun? It’s just…passing?
Daveigh: No. It is fun. …But…it’s expected. You…have to be that. It’s…not normal not to be. You feel like a freak…if you’re not…making the grade.
Listen to “Elephant” by Tame Impala.
Casi: *Drives-up, shades on. In a red convertible. Top down.
All the works.
Slow motion.*
1:47
Casi: Yeah. It’s nice being…hot.
Let me tell you about it.
*She poses for a thousand pictures. Showing-off every piece of herself, obsessively.*
Lacey and Daveigh: *Laugh, quietly.*
Bobby: Why are you laughing!?
*He snarls*
Hal: You don’t see the humor in that?
Bobby: No.
I think a young woman…bestowing us with…a moment of beauty? I think it’s something to cherish. Not laugh about.
It’s sad how jealous people can be. …I’m glad I’m not like that.
*He haughtily sips his iced coffee, scoffing.*
Casi: *Demands a thousand more photos be taken of just the back of her head. Because he’s Bobby Kennedy Junior. And “he knows”.*
Marsie: Get lost! You stupid bitch!
*She says to Lacey.*
Lacey: *Looks confused*
Wow.
See…why is she saying that? I’ve never been able to figure it out.
Harold: She doubts I’m real. Like Arnold. And she thinks if you’re writing this now, you knew the whole time.
Lacey: If you read this blog carefully enough you can that that’s not psychologically possible.
No. You’re a real ghost.
Listen to “Sweet Disposition” The Temper Trap.
Hal: Yeah.
Lacey: Why does she doubt me?
Hal: Because…you are that fortunate. And she can’t believe you don’t know that.
Lacey: So her response is to tell me to “Fuck-off.”?
Harold: Yes.
I think she thinks she’s…very carefully reaching out to you. In some…subtextual language.
Lacey: No.
I’d like to rip all of her hair out, she frustrates me so much intellectually. But…I’m not a heartless person. And it’s not wise.
The song ends.
Hal: No, but they don’t understand. They think you know.
Lacey: Know what?
Hal: That you’re better than them.
Lacey: Yes.
Hal: They’d say, “SO!? That doesn’t affect you!?”
Lacey: What’s it to them? It’s none of their damn business. I’m not their slave.
Hal: Yes!!!
But…they’re sure it means something to you.
Lacey: It does.
Why is that their business?
Hal: Yes.
Because they literally hallucinate that you look down on them. They have since you were a teenager.
Lacey: “Look down on them.”? What does that even mean!??
Hal: Like…you think they’re…worthless.
Lacey: *Looks surprised*
For being…less attractive!?
Hal: Yes.
Lacey: *Laughs*
That’s-
Are they illiterate?
Hal: No. Shockingly.
Lacey: I can’t fathom it.
Are they stupid or insane?
Hal: It’s American culture.
Lacey: NO!
That’s a myth.
Hal: No.
What if it’s not?
Lacey: No way.
There’s no way!!!
No. You can’t fool me.
Hal: No.
It’s REAL.
Lacey: I will not be tricked, Harold. …But I’ll indulge.
Huh.
*She thinks*
