Legalized Prostitution

A Millennial man: Do you understand that for many people marriage is just legalized prostitution? …Or, at least, it’s become that in America.

Lacey: Go on?

A Millennial man: It starts with dating.

Lacey: *Thinks*

Really though?

A Millennial man: YES!

*He laughs*

Lacey: Huh.

So that’s why women act so…snippy?

A Millennial man: *Looks stunned*

Listen to “Machine Says Yes” by FC Kahuna.

Lacey: Are you being serious or pulling my leg?

A Millennial man: YES.

Lacey: You all are so backwards…

*Laughs*

*covers her mouth, with her fingertips in shock*

A Millennial man: It’s American.

Okay?

It’s how I was raised.

Lacey: But how can that possibly make you happy? That’s INSANE.

India: You’re right. *They whisper to her*

Lacey: How are they-

India: *Cuts her off, trying not to laugh*

The song ends.

Listen to “Hot Blooded” by New Constellations.

Lacey: It’s really that bad?

A Millennial man: Yes.

Lacey: *Thinks*

I don’t understand what the point even is.

A Millennial man: *Thinks*

Sex. Love?

Lacey: But how to do get to that? You’re too busy trying to make money…

A Millenial man: Most people don’t.

Lacey: Then what’s the point?

A Millennial man: It’s supposed to be…holy.

Lacey: How?

A Millennial man: Because you aren’t…being defiled.

Like you were before? And we can choose now?

Lacey: Well…maybe marriage is extremely complicated. And America way oversimplified it, possibly to its own demise.

We’ll see.

Ireland: *Nods silently*

Oh for that’s what happened…

Lacey: There’s no more…community.

Ireland: It didn’t always work. But…it was vastly superior to this.

Lacey: *Thinks*

Lacey’s neighbors: OKAY!

But we can’t put it back.

Lacey: I don’t agree.

I’m sorry.

I had no idea this was even a thing. Neither did Mark. He’s Lord Thynne. …Neither did Lem.

We’re…confused.

And if we exist…and we do…it can be reversed.

Lacey’s neighbors: What did you all think you were doing?

Lacey: Arranging our own marriages. …Basically being our own matchmakers.

Lacey’s neighbors: So you and Mark…genuinely thought…you were suitable matches for each other.

God: And they actually did well.

They don’t fight the way you think. It’s actually very productive. They’re genuinely fighting. …If you hear them fight…it’s actually very serious.

Don’t get scared. But try to understand.

Sarah (?): What were they fighting over?

*Looks scared*

God: The war in Iran. Ukraine.

What else?

Lacey’s neighbors: Except I don’t get the sense that they’re on opposite sides?

God: They’re not.

Doesn’t mean they don’t disagree.

Lacey’s neighbor: So you seriously did not understand this?

Lacey: Yes.

Lacey’s neighbor: I mean… I believe in love I think people do fall in love. I know they do. And I think the idea is that you’re supposed to find someone who you’re in love with, but it’s like you’re also supposed to find somebody who matches your criteria of what you’re looking for and I have a very strong suspicion that you don’t have a criteria the way that we do.

I wanted someone tall, I wanted someone attractive. I wanted someone who has money and who has status, but I didn’t want someone who is simple and plain. I wanted someone who was intelligent and thoughtful.

Lacey: I never thought like that because I thought that was sort of stupid and immoral.

Lacey’s neighbors: *Laughs*

Lacey: So you actually really do this or you just pretend to and then you just end-up with whoever shows up? 

Lacey’s neighbors: No. That does happen more than I think we would like, but it actually really isn’t the norm.

Lacey: This makes so much sense because when I was in college, there was a woman in her 50s who kept telling me, “You don’t know what you want.” “You need to figure out what it is that you’re looking for.”

Lacey’s neighbors: Yeah. I’m sure she was trying to help you because you seemed clueless. So no one ever explained this to you ever?

Lacey: No. I grew-up in a very unusual family. They really are old money and my parents who raised me are just very atypical people. And honestly, they also refused to answer my questions.  I asked the mother who raised me repeatedly to explain dating to me and she always just acted like she had no idea and that it was very awful and that it was best not to do it anyway. I think she did understand, but she wasn’t always the nicest person and for some reason she just didn’t think that I should date and I couldn’t get anything out of her, and my father really wasn’t helpful either, bless his heart.

India: *Smiles, as one of the groups of people, totally unfazed.*

What were you thinking?

Lacey: *Sighs*

I was thinking that you should find a proper mate.

India: Oh. So you were evaluating star signs, sun signs, background, psychology, height, movement patterns, temperament, habits, vocal range, clothing, styles, general aesthetics, tastes in television & shows, tastes in movies, sleeping patterns, walking patterns?

Lacey: YES!

India: And then you just thought, “Of course it really should just be love from the start and then all these things sort of work their way out if you’re doing it correctly.”?

Lacey: Yes.

India: Well… where do you think you went wrong?

Lacey: *Thinks*

I don’t think I made a mistake. I think my father did.

India: *Nods*

Lacey: Yes. He really should have brought me into this world close to what? 80 years before he did. 

No, that doesn’t make sense. *She laughs* Well, close to 50 to 60 years? 

India: But there must’ve been something that could have worked?

Lacey: Aside from what happened? I think the only solution would’ve been for the mother that brought me into this world to have raised me. Or for me to somehow be socialized by people who genuinely really loved me and I’m of the opinion that if you really want your kids to be raised well, oftentimes you have to do it yourself. It can be done by other people, but it’s really difficult to understand how to raise someone else’s kids. 

India: Yes.

Lacey: So… aside from Margy doing her job I don’t think I had a chances.

Lacey’s neighbors: Why?

Lacey: Because. Margy would’ve explained to me what dating was. 

Remember how I just said that about like 10 minutes ago?

Lacey’s neighbors: Crap.

Lacey: I mean, apparently the people who raised me didn’t know why I was asking them that question and they just kept giving me these horrible answers that really made absolutely no sense and I was just asking a very simple straightforward questions, and I think Margy would’ve understood that. I think other people might’ve understood that but it’s a rough world and I mean…I think that was probably my only chance. It was to be raised by unusual people who really understood me or the mother who actually brought me into this world.

Lacey’s neighbors: Yeah.

Lacey: I have a nice marriage in many ways, but it’s not what I think either of us were really looking for, but oh well,

Lacey’s neighbors: So you were both looking for like love and an actual good marriage. Like essentially the sort of marriage that comes from a community of people who care and actual love.

Lacey: Yes.

A Millennial man: How did neither of you figure this out?

Lem: It’s not as obvious as you think.

A Millennial woman: So you were settling for a crap marriage with Jack?

Lem: Oh, absolutely yes.

A Millennial woman: If you can even call it marriage because you thought you were diseased.

Lem: Yes.

A Millennial woman: So what did you think we were doing?

Lacey: I thought that you had all mastered the art of dating. And actually, my husband probably thought the same thing. When he was in his 20s, he took a dating class offered by some guy. I think his name was David D’Angelo.

Because he thought that as I did, it was actually sort of an art, that you had to master.  and and he put effort into it he read the whole series he took it very seriously he really tried. He genuinely thought that if he just studied for it the way that he studied for everything else that he could probably crack it and really find a real good marriage. 

Lady Thynne: It was heartbreaking. Regardless, if there’s reincarnation or not. He didn’t need a dating class. He needed to understand a lot of other stuff, but he did pay money and listen to all of the DVDs and do all of the writing and journaling and everything else and then he married Lacey. And I know he would never divorce her. It’s not almost possible at all. 

Dr. Moritz: Did you know that I was sexually attracted to you?

Lacey: Not completely.

I’ve been very confused. Men have tried to sleep with me and it seems as though I arouse men very easily. But you don’t make a lot of sense any of you, and I’ve been very confused.

Putin: She’s exceptionally beautiful.

But I knew the instant that I met her that she was never going to leave her husband, unless if there was a really unusual man that came along. Her husband is cold as ice at times and to be brutally honest he’s broken her heart on numerous occasions, and I took umbrage.

I’m not dumb.

And I thought the poor fuck deserved to be kicked in his sad ass. No I’m not speaking as a father, although that experience did give me insight into what that generation of men are like. She doesn’t live in Russia. Maybe I’ll be with her when I’m dead, but I doubt it, but I was attracted, and I decided to let myself feel something.

It was delightful and sad and incredibly Russian and memorable and-

I really don’t understand why everyone’s so up in arms.

Lacey: It’s all quite sad.

But…oh well.

Arnold: There is no afterlife.

The man who she sleeps with are figments of my fucking farts.

*He cackles*

Her husband’s not Lord Thynne. There is no reincarnation. And science has proven that.

Listen to “Jump Around” by House of Pain.

Arnold: It’s not possible.

All this God crap.

*He laughs*

1:06

Lacey: Then how do you explain my real Scottish accent?

Arnold: It’s fake.

The CIA: That makes no sense…

2:22

Arnold: Ha.

The dead…don’t exist.

The CIA: You’re not answering the question.

Do you have the integrity to accept that? And take accountability for your bullshit?

Arnold: *Laughs and begins twerking, in response*

Listen to Skyfall by Adele.

Bill: What does that do?

The CIA: It’s supposed to…bring him…power.

Bill: How?

The CIA: He believes it’s all science. Like…just…science? To be honest…it’s illogical. But…most people don’t know any better.

*They shrug*

So he sounds wise and shrewd and…intelligent. Cutting, even.

A psychic: He has to know that there’s energy? Like…sexual energy???

*She laughs*

I’m so confused.

Arnold: It’s not energy.

You’re getting caught up in semantics!

A psychic: But then what is it?

Arnold: Cite your sources?

A psychic: Just-

What is it?

Arnold: It’s just movement. Okay. That’s all that science can actually prove. I am moving my body in a sexual way. The fact that it has a cause-and-effect of power is not something that science can easily explain, but what we can explain using science is that I am moving my butt and it’s sexual. It’s not provable using science.

A psychic: But… then how does the power manifest Arnold if it’s not witchcraft?

Arnold: I don’t know I don’t know science hasn’t explained that to us yet. That’s not my problem.

A psychic: So you’re not intuitively understanding what I’m asking you about the logistics of the whole thing?

Arnold: No.

Why don’t you go get your PhD and come back and we’ll have a conversation. I’m Arnold Schwarzenegger and I’m smarter than you. I was Governor of California and I know a lot.

I’m an intellectual and I have a dick.

*He laughs*

A psychic: So… Arnold we’re asking you to explain how the so-called witchcraft works.

Arnold: Well… I imagine that there is some sort of tsunami effect when I shake my butt.

Listen to “The Power (12” Version)” by SNAP!.

A psychic: What causes the tsunami?

Arnold: *twerks and analyses it, in action*

1:35

1:55

A psychic: Well? What do you think?

Arnold: *Pauses, thinking*

I don’t know to be honest I’m a little worried because I can’t think of how without what you call energy there could possibly be what I believe is a sort of tsunami.

I don’t like to call it energy OK? Because energy has connotations that science cannot prove. And I am not going to be responsible for someone’s mental illness-

*He scoffs*

I suppose you could call it energy but then people are gonna start claiming the ghosts are real. And that there’s an afterlife. Mmkay? And I know that’s impossible, because there’s no afterlife. Ghosts don’t exist. Everyone says that. And…I know they know what they’re talking about…cause I’m like that. I’m smart and they’re smart. And I just don’t see any way that there could possibly be ghosts so-

4:18

Satan: *Cracks-up laughing at him*

4:38

5:03

5:12

5:21

5:29

The song ends.

The song restarts.

A psychic: There’s no way…he makes sense.

Right?

The CIA: Correct.

A psychic: So…he’s seen ghosts?

The CIA: Most likely. But… a lot of poor people when they join the Illuminati are afraid that they’re going to lose their minds or lose their money. And so like Dolly Parton unless if you’re a Christian and you’re rejecting Christ to worship some exotic, “sexy” demon god who impresses people…you don’t really change what you believe. It’s fashionable still to reject Christ, even though it’s kind of getting a little outdated, but it still is somewhat fashionable kind of. But they just don’t wanna lose track of what they thought they knew about the world because it scares them and so they hang on to really dumb ideas, even if there’s no way that it really makes any sense.

A psychic: But then how is America supposed to exist? Because I mean, it doesn’t work?

We have all of these people running the world on our behalf, with no coherent belief system?

The Illuminati: Yes.

And that is part of the intense re-shifting and shuffling. That’s part of why Christian Nationalism took off. Because, it gave people some structure to their beliefs and people like Arnold aren’t opposed to it. They don’t think it’s real and they like to think that they are a voice of reason and science, but they’re misogynistic…and they love the ideas. Even if the Christianity doesn’t really make sense to them.

A reader: But what is the power? Arnold.

Arnold: Energy. I guess.

*He laughs*

You tell me.

A reader: So… why couldn’t energy have a physical form in another realm?

Arnold: *Thinks*

*Thinks*

*Thinks*

No, because that is something you hear about in a movie or a television show or a book.

The song restarts.

Arnold: I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I believe he could happen the Son of God, he just wasn’t. 

So…we can admire his teachings. And what I believe he’s taught me all these years later, wise man that he was, is to love people and to take responsibility for everything that is yours.

I think that just because it is admirable…does not mean that…it’s the son of God. OK? 

And what you need to understand is that we are supposed to carry our own burdens and the burden of the cross. And I am a smart man. I understand that the Cross is energetic.

I will carry the cross on my back-

God: Do you anticipate ceasing to exist? When you die?

Arnold: Yes.

God: What will you do, if you don’t?

Arnold: *Thinks*

I don’t know.

God: Does that scare you?

Arnold: Yes.

God: I’m fooled.

The song ends.

*Later*

A Millennial woman who may care: So…what if Lem had slept with Jackie Kennedy?

Lacey: *Thinks*

Are they still together?

A Millennial woman who may care: No.

Lacey: Then I want to hear everything. But…of course I’m not jealous. …I wasn’t there.

A Millennial woman who may care: Is he over her?

God: No. He’s extremely not over her.

He never slept with Jackie.

A Millenial woman who may care: But she’s not even jealous of Jack?

God: No.

It’s that Jack was passionately determined to insult her soul, personally.

A Millennial woman who may care: Did he kill Jack?

God: Yes.

He did.

A Millennial woman who may care: We are never supposed to figure that out.

God: Correct.

A Millennial guy: So…why didn’t he sleep with Marilyn?

Lem: You know why.

Right?

A Millennial guy: She’s just a shit copy of your wife.

Lem: …She’s not shit. But…it wasn’t worth it.

A Millennial guy: Yeah.

Lem: I mean…she was a little too popular. But, she was very attractive. …I just didn’t want to.

But it wasn’t because I was attracted to men. I actually did…find her attractive.

A Millenial guy: THEN WHY NOT!?

Lem: *Laughs*

It was creepy.

*He looks serious*

And…- *He throws his hands in the air*

I wanted…something deeper. She was…not deep.

A Millennial guy: But…wasn’t she deep?

Lem: Not like me. Not like Lacey.

…I don’t know. To be honest, I found her repulsive on a certain level. But I hesitate to say that. You know?

A Millennial guy: Repulsive?

Lem: *Thinks*

She had…an attractive body. But…I didn’t want her. You know?

I genuinely didn’t want to harm anyone. And I just didn’t-

*He shrugs*

Millenial: Who did turn you on?

Lem: I’d rather not say.

I read Playboy.

But…I never met anyone who was that…great. Or, they just weren’t…interested.

Jackie wasn’t interested. Or she didn’t seem interested?

A Millennial: So you tried to sleep with Jackie!?

Lem: I wouldn’t say I was necessarily trying to sleep with her. …But I was…interested in her. Somewhat.

She seemed…attractive. And…Jack kept me very lonely.

A Millennial: What happened during the war?

Lem: I’ve already told people. I was trying to lose him, and it didn’t work.

A Millennial: So you killed him.

Lem: Yes.

A Millennial: *Is shocked*

Was that exciting?

Lem: Yes.

*He laughs*

I hated that whole family, secretly.

But I was never allowed to be honest.

They were extremely controlling.

A Millennial guy: Are you mad at Lacey?

Lem: No.

She didn’t stand a chance. She may have even been aborted. If there’s reincarnation.

A Millennial: And yet she’s not mad at her dad?

Lem: No.

Not at her dad.

He had a reason. In her mind. And he did! He would have.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Ask her how many times she’s been aborted. *She cracks-up laughing, at Lacey.*

A Millennial guy: I’m not asking that!

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Looks angry*

You know what I’m asking you to do!

A Millennial guy: No.

*He laughs*

I don’t.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Yes! You do!

*She laughs, thinking he understands*

A Millennial guy: No.

What!?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *She smiles*

A Millennial guy: What?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Nevermind.

It’s just…sometimes I wonder if you’re all just gay.

*she laughs*

A Millennial guy: Are you offering me sex?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Looks stunned*

What?

A Millennial guy: Are you offering me sex, to hate her?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Yes.

*She laughs.*

A Millennial guy: WOW!

You want me to kill her?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Could you? Please??

Geez!

I can’t stand her.

A Millennial guy: That’s…murder.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Thinks*

I want her out of my hair.

A Millennial guy: HOLY SHIT.

You’re fucking serious.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: SO WHAT!?

Do you have any idea what I live with?

I’m fat. I’m lonely.

*she cries*

You’re mean.

*Then she marches off in a huff*

A Millennial guy: But you’re a homicidal maniac. Not a normal person…

A Millennial woman: *Thinks*

It’s not like I’m going to go around stabbing people.

A Millennial guy: *Laughs*

No, you could?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Oh! No.

I’m not-

*She rolls her eyes*

I’m just pissed.

A Millennial guy: You’re violent.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: I am allowed to hate other women.

Our parents…encouraged it.

How do you all not know that!?

A Millennial guy: Did they?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Laughs*

Oh come on. Yes.

Yes!!!!

…Our parents…wanted us to be cool. …So much cooler than they EVER were.

*She smiles*

They implicitly encouraged us all to be cruel.

*she laughs*

A Millennial guy: *Thinks*

A Millennial woman: Stop infantilizing our parents.

They were MEAN.

And now…I’m mean too.

And I have no way out.

Lacey: How do you have no way out?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Looks very angry and like she could almost cry.*

I can’t let down my guard. With anyone. …Everyone is bloodthirsty. And if you let down your guard…for a second…in most situations…you’re toast.

…You cannot be good. …You cannot be kind.

You all were supposed to save us. The dudes. …But…you haven’t.

We married you all…and found out…you’re not…there. You’re just…gone.

It’s like you all have Avoidant Personality Disorder. …Of course, I’m a huge bitch. It’s true. But…you’re not even there.

Listen to “Hot Blooded” by New Constellations.

A Millennial guy: But what would killing Lacey do?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Wouldn’t it fix…everything?

*She genuinely smiles*

A Millennial guy: I don’t think-

How can you tell that she arouses me?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Looks sad*

I want you to look at me like that.

I’ve waited for you to look at me like that…my whole life.

A Millennial guy: You aren’t that curvy.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: I’m fat as Hell!

A Millennial guy: That’s not it.

I’m sorry.

We’ve lied.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: What!?

You’re still lying!?

*She weeps*

*Considers shooting herself in the face*

A Millennial guy: *Tries to calm himself down*

*breathes deeply*

*Thinks*

A Millennial woman: *wants to strangle herself, to make him care*

A Millennial guy: Ok!!

FINE!

She turns me on.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Flips her hair*

*Thinks*

She turns you on!?

A Millennial guy: Yeah.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: She turns some of us on too.

Why do we care?

A Millennial guy: Because I don’t get turned on by everyone like that.

A Millennial woman: What’s-

*Thinks*

Huh.

Is that like…a guy thing?

A Millennial guy: Yes…

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Huh.

It’s a sperm-

Wait.

*She thinks*

Wait what?

*She thinks*

This has pissed me off…for years.

*she thinks*

I’ve wanted to just kill her.

*she thinks*

Your wife turns you on more?

A Millennial guy: HECK YES!!!

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Huh.

Why does she turn you on?

A Millennial guy: Go look at Lem and Elliott. And get back to me.

*He laughs*

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Looks*

I actually like Millennial men. …I do. But…they were…masculine.

A Millennial guy: Do you like them?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: I think they’re…love. The way they…loved.

I’ve been almost convinced they didn’t. But…then I listen to their music? There’s no way.

I want that kind of…passion.

And you want what?

A Millennial guy: *Thinks*

Their hips. Their…softer faces.

Their softer, more fertile bodies.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: But can you love them?

Be real.

A Millennial guy: No.

A Millennial woman: *Stops*

You can’t?

A Millennial guy: No.

God’s forcing me to be honest.

I find her attractive. She’s sexy. Sexy as HELL.

Okay?

But…-

*He shrugs*

I thought she was like Marilyn Monroe? But no.

…I’m just not…-

A Millennial woman: But you find her more attractive than me!??

A Millennial guy: Well…-

*He thinks*

She’s so…direct. …And yet bizarrely mysterious.

It’s just…weird.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Like Lauren Bacall?!?

A Millennial guy: Yeah-

*He shrugs, confused*

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: So you don’t have a crush on Elizabeth Taylor? She’s CURVY.

A Millennial guy: No. It’s HOT. But…she’s weird.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: She’s Elizabeth Taylor.

A Millennial guy: Yeah.

I mean she could be cool?

*He shrugs*

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: What?!?

A Millennial guy: It’s just…she’s so…emotional.

You know?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: You love that?

A Millennial guy: Not like that.

I mean, what’s she even doing? She’s so…-

They’re hot. Mysterious. But…how do you date them? They seem…dumb?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: But you want them?

A Millennial guy: *Thinks*

Yeah?

It’s a good look.

But…they’re weird.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: But they’re not.

There’s no way that’s true.

A Millennial guy: Do you actually prefer guys like me?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Yeah.

A Millennial guy: Then what are we supposed to do?

I feel bad.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: I don’t know. I thought I was supposed to hate her…

A Millennial guy: Does she know that I’m attracted, but…I can’t figure her out worth shit?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: I don’t know. I’ve been bullying her since childhood.

A Millennial guy: Was that-

Was that…over me?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Yes.

I assumed you’d love her more. And I’d be left in the wreckage…

A Millennial guy: The wreckage!?!?

A Millennial woman: Yeah.

Days of Our Lives.

Guiding Light.

The wreckage.

A Millennial guy: Go on???

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Yes.

You can’t help it. …You’re just a man.

A Millennial guy: But…I have a brain.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: True.

But you’re still a guy.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: I am. I just…- I don’t like wreckage.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: But they’re hot.

A Millennial guy: Yes!

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: But…you’re not-

It’s that…–

But you could?

A Millennial guy: YES.

Her husband has.

But…it’s not about superiority.

I just…don’t…care. It’s like…I’d like hit it. It’s hot.

But…I can’t get her.

Maybe it’d be cool to marry her? Have kids? But…I can’t-

My heart isn’t in it.

Listen to “Broken Belief” by Bob Moses.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: But…that doesn’t mean she’s weird.

Really.

I’ve BULLIED HER.

A Millennial guy: I’ve been following your lead.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Even into the bedroom?

A Millennial guy: DUH!

You’re the one I want.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Actually…I didn’t know that.

A Millenial guy: Then yes.

She’s hotter.

Than most women,

But…I’m never in love with her.

A Millennial woman: Is it different than the other women who you don’t care about?

A Millennial guy: Yes.

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: *Panics*

Her kids fit in.

More than her…

A Millennial guy: Because she married a Millennial man who doesn’t love her, that much. And they’re just…heterosexual partners.

A Millennial woman: How can they get away with it?

A Millennial guy: Being the British aristocracy still?

A Millennial woman: I mean…that’s what I suspect.

Let’s be real.

A Millennial guy: We really do love each other.

*He smiles*

Why do we hate them?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Because it’s illegal.

A Millennial guy: How?

A Millennial woman who doesn’t care: Okay.

Maybe it is not…illegal.

But…who is he with?

A Millennial guy: Mark?

A Millennial woman: YEAH.

A Millennial man: *Thinks*

Elliott:

A gal like her?

She’s lovely. Isn’t she?

*he smiles*

A Millennial guy: Wow. That’s a gorgeous woman. But it’s even more different.

A Millennial woman: So that beguiling creature was my competition. The whole time.

Listen to the song again.

Lauren: He’s still in love with Lady Thynne.

Lacey: Yes? If there’s reincarnation. But…I like her.

I understand.

Lauren: What’s she like?

Lacey: *yawns*

She’s…beguiling. I can’t think of a better word to describe her.

She’s very laid back. And yet, she’s Lady Thynne. And yet…she’s…truly lovely. Elegant.

I like her.

Lauren: Does he realize what’s going on?

Lacey: I can’t tell.

But…he doesn’t seem unhappy?

I ask him. And he seems happy.

Lauren: Happier than with you?

Lacey: *Thinks*

Happier than with…-

Yes. With anyone. Except…she makes him miserable. Because she scares him. I think…

But I think…it’s…possibly forever?

Lauren: I think he’s trying to do right by you.

Lacey: YES!

They’re good people. …If that’s him? They’re very good people.

Lauren: Isn’t Lem friends with him?

Lacey: Yes.

I think so!

Lauren: Good.

At least he’s English, right?

Lacey: I do love Great Britain. I really do.

Listen to “The Rush” by Bob Moses.

*Lacey dances like an actual Ancient Egyptian.*