Dimitry: What the heck!?
Lacey: What?
Dimitry: So…-
Why do I love him?
What’s wrong with me?
Mira: *Shakes her head no*
No. You see something special in him.
I swear.
Dimitry: Ugh!
But what is it!??
Mira: I don’t know.
Maybe he’s…charming?
Dimitry: *Thinks*
I love the mythical creatures that they are…but…in the flesh…–
*He almost cries*
Lacey: Is Jackie still there!?!?
Dimitry: YES!!
I don’t like the way he cheats.
Mira told me to stop being mean to myself.
Lacey: She’s still there!?
Dimitry: Yup!
Lacey: WHY!???
Dimitry: …To be honest if you’re looking for actual love like a normal healthy person it’s not really somewhere that you can stay for longer than 30 years. They are way too screwed-up.
Maybe in the future, they will be normal. But I actually tried what you suggested somehow, and it was interesting. Mira learned a lot about me. I learned a lot about myself.
And I am a little scared that part of my fan base in the perfume community comes from something in an alternate universe where I’m kind of a big deal.
But other than that, it was a huge letdown.
I really enjoyed cooking for them. I liked being their friend, I liked sailing. I loved when we would sit around and just be cool together.
But I cannot stand the dysfunction. I tried, and I can’t handle them.
And maybe someday when they’re in a different place in their hearts and minds, we’ll see, but I don’t see any way forward with them and I am ever increasingly more convinced that Mira is my other half.
Jackie? I think there’s something wrong with her.
I think there’s something wrong with her and I don’t think she’s honest about it. I think she lies and I think that in a sense, they sort of all deserve each other.
If you can stay with That family, maybe you really belong there or maybe there’s something wrong with you. I think Pat actually might belong there. Jackie has something wrong with her.
Lem is gone, as we both know.
Ethel is still there.
Carolyn is gone, but she shows-up every once in a while, mostly for everyone else’s sake. I asked her to be there often, because I was losing my mind and she was good company.
Mary is gone.
Joan is out of her mind. Joan doesn’t realize that she’s dead yet. I know that that surprises you, but that actually happens with some people. It’s not really normal though, and you know that.
She’s in denial because she just can’t handle the brutality of everything, and usually when people are like that it’s really like only 15 minutes. It seems like five years or 50 but it’s actually a lot shorter. Because they’re on the other side.
So, she’s just sort of figuring it out, but she’s in shock.
I hate Chanel 22.
Lacey: Why?
Dimitry: When I was smelling it, I was thinking of you being pretty and I was thinking of how I actually prefer my wife, but that I liked the idea of like a really pretty blonde woman with brown eyes. And I just thought that it was a really beautiful idea. But looking back at it, I have no way of recapturing that idea. Because now I know what you really look like and you’re a lot better looking.
And you really are Scotia. There is reincarnation Lacey and that’s not something that’s easy to say, but I’m able to say it.
You don’t have to believe that, but there is and you are Scotia. You’re definitely the daughter of the man who died on the Mississippi. Yeah you’re a Scottish aristocrat.
And I can’t recapture 22.
It’s not what I thought.
I had this idea in my head…and it’s like…wow yeah that’s hot…but I like it on my wife…but now I’m realizing…that the person I thought you were…doesn’t even exist. I mean, they could theoretically in a way…but not really and I just can’t get it back, in my head.
And now I keep thinking of Mira and it just it doesn’t smell as good on her is it probably did on you. I have a feeling it smells better on you.
And after being with That family, and seeing the way that they lived and the way that they live and the wealth that they had!?! I like you more. I like myself less. And…I am angry that I was dumb enough to think that that made sense.
Lacey: Why…-
Dimitry: I didn’t get it.
Lacey: How?
Dimitry: I have not-
The wealth that I’ve seen is European.
And I don’t I don’t like Chanel 22 for you, except when I think about the wealth of the Kennedys in the 1920s in America…I understand why you thought that it made sense.
I thought that it made sense the minute I saw their house. Because it’s not what I thought it was gonna be. It is so harsh. I can’t think of a better way to explain it. It’s very harsh. America is a harsh country.
And I was not expecting the wealth to be so kind of awe-inspiring, but also awful at the same time. I mean, it’s totally different than what I thought it was going to be.
And I was thinking that that you were a very different person. But seeing their wealth, I now understand you better and why you were thinking that it’s a very dry perfume!!
You kept saying that!
And I get it.
Coming from that aesthetic perspective, it is dry. And it’s so bizarre!
And I just, I hate it now.
Lacey: Why?
Dimitry: Because, that is not what I thought it was.
And yet actually…the place that I’m saying this from, I’ve talked to Mlle. Coco Chanel yes? And I’ve double-checked with her. And guess what!? She really did have an American audience in mind. For Chanel No. 22.
So your perspective was accurate.
Mine was not!
You’re far more intellectual than am.
And I’m an idiot, absolute idiot for how I treated you and that’s not saying like oh I’m so sorry. No, I’m an idiot.
I really hate Chanel 22.
Lacey: Why?
Dimitry: It is America snubbing the entire fucking world.
That was America saying fuck you to the entire world.
And I hate the fact that it’s not really kind.
Lacey: *Thinks*
I don’t know if I knew that or not.
Dimitry: Yeah!
You really don’t know?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Not right now. I think I actually did have that thought and I’m trying to be accountable for it, but that was way back, in like, 2015.
Dimitry: Okay.
Why is that OK?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Because I thought that America had won fair and square, and that the whole world was being totally unreasonable.
Dimitry: Unreasonable how!?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Because I thought America was bringing Democracy and…social justice…and…economic and social liberation to the world-
Chris: YOU DID NOT!!
Lacey: No.
I did.
Dimitry: What changed?
Lacey: I found out how…evil, American leadership really is. I found out how bankrupt we are. And a lot more…
Dimitry: So you hadn’t met Putin?
Lacey: Not really.
Dimitry: Did he convince you of that?
Lacey: No.
Dimitry: You spent a lot of time with him.
Daniel: Joan is out of her mind!?
Dimitry: YOU!
Daniel: What’s Bobby’s favorite perfume?
Dimitry: Who cares?
Daniel: You know, you’re right though.
