Lem: In 2016, Lacey was attacked by the Illuminati.
She had been following several New Money, Millennial, white Liberals…on Instagram. In the Illuminati, unbeknownst to her, at the time. For months. One of them had only 5,000 followers at the time, and he was the instigator of her attack. He felt hurt…that she had more followers than him. Because he’s famous. So he pretended to be in love with her, sensing that she was painfully lonely.
Why was he so hurt? Because she’s much better looking than him, his wife, and all of his friends. She doesn’t photograph well, and he knew that.
But also because he grew-up poor. And she seemed naturally aristocratic. And people like Casi…who followed her…religiously commenting on her posts…seemed painfully, embarrassingly beneath her.
And now, ten years later, both the Illuminati and the perfume community still have a massive delusional fantasy that she’s deeply vulnerable, incredibly weak, pathetically poor, obviously ugly and profoundly evil. …And they lie about that fantasy, pretending to themselves and us, that “that’s not what’s really going on”. But in reality, they’re narcissistically fixated, out of control, and basically insane.
It’s incredibly pathetic. …Both the perfume community and the Illuminati have become incredibly pathetic. …But, they’re as secure as Dolly Parton’s skin around her bizarrely shaped “boobs”. …Did you ever notice how she kept them so covered? …Did you ever notice how weirdly they were SHAPED? Yuck. …I’m a straight man, and I find them disgusting. …I’m sorry. …They looked WEIRD. …Like they were stuffed with giant water balloons under her skin. Overfilled and misshapen. …Can you imagine what her skin must have looked like? Thin, damaged, possibly regularly bruised or strangely white and pale. …That’s analogous to these people’s sense of self, given the…issue of their…egos. Something ghastly.
Poor Ms. Dolly Parton. I’m sorry if I don’t understand her psychologically, as a man. But…I think my analogy works. I’m sorry.
Another dead man: Except now we have to talk about her boobs.
Lem: Why? They’re hideous. There’s no need to dwell on them.
Another dead (American) man: I kind of liked them. They looked…natural. Because boobs are often flawed, and so hers looked natural…being so flawed.
And I like big boobs! *He laughs*
Lem: *Thinks*
Well, that’s good for you then.
Another dead (American) man: You don’t like big boobs?
Lem: *Thinks*
Not really.
Big boobs can be attractive. Yes. Of course. …But I don’t prefer them. They’re…big. You know?
*a moment later*
A living adult male (also in America): Honestly? Dolly Parton’s boobs looked weird.
I don’t know why we weren’t allowed to just say that! …There were many times, as a man, when I wanted to say something, and I never did.
Lem: Yes.
Alright.
So, the Illuminati got into Lacey’s brain…by eating a baby’s brain. Like the Asmats.
They’ve been reading her unprocessed thoughts, like fully absorbed and fully focused thoughts. Because they don’t understand the spiritual implications of eating a human brain, and many members of the Illuminati ate human brains.
Bobby: I never ate a baby brain! *he says, indignantly*
Kate Spade: That’s not true!
Bobby: *laughs, as though he’s part of an inside joke with her*
Kate Spade: Bobby, I’m not laughing. *she says seriously*
Bobby: *looks confused*
Karl Lagerfeld: Bobby, we’re feeling embarrassed right now. …We aren’t…proud, at the moment.
Bobby: *looks confused*
Kate Spade: Bobby, I’m accusing you…
Bobby: And I’m definitely denying it!
*He suddenly looks very intense and serious*
Kate: Why…were you…LAUGHING?
Karl Lagerfeld: *Smirks*
Bobby: You know why.
Kate: YES.
Because, you think it’s funny to do evil things.
Bobby: *laughs*
Kate: Yeah, you think it’s funny.
Bobby: *controls himself now, trying to seem serious and mature*
*looks manly and quite serious*
*a moment later*
A reader: Can we talk to Dick Cavett?
God: I know that seems comforting, and rightly so. But not at the moment. …You can’t at this moment.
A reader: What’s he up to?
God: I can’t tell you that. *God smiles* It’s just none of your business.
He’s doing well.
*a moment later*
Lacey: I’m not hearing any condemnation of Bobby.
Why!?
*she waits for a moment to hear a response*
Wow! That’s…concerning.
