Bobby: She cut a piece of fabric and used voodoo. She made it symbolic…of time and space.
And then…she took “me” energetically, combined with “Chris” energetically and added us to her “potion”. In 2020.
It was…from years of experience with witchcraft in the Illuminati. …She had years of experience doing spell-work. …She was in her 90’s. She died three years ago, of old age. …It was risky work, but she knew she was going to die.
So that’s why Maeve died.
*chatter*
Yes! That IS why Jack lost the election!
*chatter*
I don’t know. …I guess it killed Tatiana?
Lacey: Lem’s voice has been very hard to hear. It’s been weird.
Bobby: *laughs*
Yup.
Well…that’s the Illuminati.
*he laughs*
*smiles*
Ain’t NUTTIN’ I can do about it.
A confused gay man: So…all she’s experiencing is loss of contact. Like…an interruption in her cell phone coverage. …And your family is cursed. …WHY would that be worth it?
Bobby: Lem was gay.
*he shrugs*
We’re protecting him.
Caroline: *nods*
But I’m starting to think this is bad.
Bobby: Well…-
*he shrugs*
I mean…-
*he laughs*
The Trumps: *hold pens and paper, considering bulldozing the Kennedy Center*
Listen to “Proven Lands” by Jonny Greenwood.
A farmer: *slaughters a pig*
Lacey: *cuts pieces of bacon into her potato soup, with a sharp knife*
An ancient Irish King, seeing Scotia: *Feels terrified. Finds her attractive. Decides that the group of invading Egyptians should be friends.*
Hello!!! *He says, in his own language. Waving, cheerfully. Huge grin.*
And that’s when he married Scotia and made an alliance with her. Except, it wasn’t ever consummated. It was always just a “pretty idea”. He was actually very intellectual. And he recognized their superior technology (knives he’d never seen before, etc.). And…he genuinely thought she was hot. …So, he felt he should take her as a wife. Get the clout. …And then…protect the colony of Egyptians, in what became Scotland.
She never fought with Ireland. She also never married anyone there, in Ireland, and consummated it. If there’s reincarnation. …It was an ancient conception of marriage.
Yes, the Ancient Egyptians and the Ancient Irish did intermarry. And have children. In this…adventure. But Lacey never did.
And actually, most of the Ancient Egyptians just stuck together. In what became Scotland.
The Trumps are Scottish.
Listen to “There, There (live)” by Radiohead.
An Irish witch: I don’t believe they meant any harm. I think…Joe Kennedy Junior made…a…horrific mistake.
The song plays.
An Ancient Irish King: If there’s reincarnation, she did marry me. Yes.
*he smiles*
I’m still very fond of her.
*he thinks*
She’s not a bad person. And neither am I.
We never laid together. …It was…a lovely thought. *he smiles*
I had a few wives already.
*he thinks*
But I did take it quite seriously. I cared about her.
Did she die in Ireland? Fighting? No. …She died of a lung infection. In Scotland. On a hill, at sunrise.
She was in her 30’s.
*he thinks*
She was very tired. And she had…contracted some lung ailment in Europe. A month earlier. …Gorgeous woman anyway.
I made up the story…and it was repeated. Because it was a much better end. *he smiles* she deserved respect. Not to be seen as…a tragic, unloved woman. …She was so pretty. *he smiles, fondly*
*later*
Scott Fitzgerald: You’re cool. *he says to the Ancient Irish King*
Listen to “The Suburbs” by Arcade Fire.
Scott Fitzgerald: I could have married her, too. …Am I anything like you?
An ancient Irish King: *eyes Scott*
Yes.
*he smiles, proudly*
*looks quite serious*
I’m shorter. *He laughs. Jolly, muscular, a bit heavy…and notorious for victory.*
But our coloring is actually similar. *he smiles*
A 2026 reader: Why don’t you have sex with her?
Lacey: Why don’t you want to talk about his glory!? *she asks quizzically*
Why don’t you want to talk about his victories in battle?
An Ancient Irish King: Because it was the wrong thing to do.
…I had wives.
I was madly in love with them. One in particular. She had most of my children.
*he smiles*
I was a proud, noble, happy man.
*he smiles*
Scotia was…a darling girl. Absolutely lovely. *he looks sad, and yet fond*
I wanted her to be safe. She had traveled a long distance. They all had. …And, she was the daughter of a pharaoh. …Her father was the pharaoh of Egypt. …He was an Egyptian pharaoh. …HER FATHER WAS AN EGYPTIAN PHARAOH.
*he thinks*
*he waits*
I was offering her safety, harmony and protection. And she gave me clout.
Make sense?
The reader from 2026: Did she really look this hot?
An Ancient Egyptian King: Do I look like that? No. We looked different.
Was she hot, by our standards? …Yes.
She looked like this, somewhat. …They assumed Nefertiti was her mother. And Nefertiti was a known beauty. So…if you add it all up, you can surmise that she was very beautiful.
A reader from 2026: So your wife was never worried you were going to cheat?
An Ancient Irish King: *thinks*
Probably not!
Probably not.
*he smiles*
We were very in love.
But in order to look…strong and glorious, I married her. And it worked. …She was…- *he hesitates* seen as my property. Okay? And yet, it didn’t disparage her. …But, no, I didn’t need to cheat. The marriage was good enough.
I barely ever saw her. We had a ceremony where she agreed to be my wife. And then…that was it. I went back to Ireland and she went further north.
We married…just north of London.
Lacey: Where did I die, in this…mythology?
An ancient Irish King: You died in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne. Or close to it. Overlooking the sea.
I called it Scotland.
Lacey: *Looks at a photo of The Cheviots.*
That looks about right! That’s what I keep seeing.
God: So if there’s reincarnation, the real Scotia, who is not just a myth…is or was…resting in the hills of Northern England.
Lacey: I died. I died on a very similar hill. At sunrise. I just laid back, and died.
God: If there’s reincarnation? Yes. It’s that simple.
Jonah: That’s depressing.
An ancient Irish King: Exactly!
Bobby: Don’t make assumptions. About my family. Okay?
Jonah: I’m not doing that.
Bobby: *looks grumpy*
We’re doing our best.
A reader from 2026: Was any Irishman supposed to…marry her? Ever?
An ancient Irishman: NO! Of course not.
*he waits*
Look, if there’s reincarnation, Lem was allowed to take off with her…because my chief approved of it.
He vetted Lem. Thoroughly. For many reasons.
But…she couldn’t marry just anyone.
You know?
The King had to approve. Our chief…felt responsible for her…and it was a matter of national security for him and our people.
He was and is, a very wise man.
Bobby: What did we do?
Jonah: Well it ain’t good! *he smirks*
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