Lord Loughborough: Lacey isn’t a child. Fully functioning adults can have a part of themselves that’s not been parented. That’s what she is.
Unfortunately, Bobby seems different.
A hater: Is it normal that she was trying to take South America?
Lord Loughborough: *laughing*
Yes.
I had similar ideas as a child.
Dimitry: We don’t think like that.
Lord Loughborough: You are different than me.
Bobby: But then how are we supposed to torture her? *in a whiny voice*
Guys!
We can’t torture her if we don’t have an angle.
We had been trying to snub her. And attack her cause she’s “not one of us”.
But if she’s better than us…how’s this supposed to work?
The Illuminati: It doesn’t.
A woman in the perfume community: Are you all actually just attacking her because of the oil?
The Illuminati: I wish.
No. It’s worse than that.
She’s in our “proximity” because of the oil. It’s sort of like cell phone coverage. I know, it sounds stupid, but that’s how it seems to work. So…we could interact with her really easily. And that’s how our group has stayed so functional for so long. People get money? We sometimes just run into them. You know? It all works like clockwork.
But it’s actually you guys. The perfume community refusing to accept reality. You did this. To some degree. You really did.
*they laugh*
You needed to be honest about who she really was. And you still haven’t been. You’re all still totally delusional.
We accidentally ran into her online. Natural as pie. Because of her family’s oil. We’ve met Bethany. We’ve met Joni. We’ve met Eric. We’ve been running into these people for years. All over the world! But…she’s the one we approached. And I guess we decided that we hated her. Largely because we knew you all definitely did, behind closed doors.
We found it funny. Maybe it made us feel better about the oil. I don’t know…
The thing is, she’s not at all an awkward person. Or ugly. So…it’s just gotten weird. Because she’s actually superior. We made fun of that at first, because we assumed it had to be a joke. Most of us are fake somehow. They’re not.
So now…we’re all just screwed.
Dennis Nesheim: What!?!
The Illuminati: Yeah.
Dennis Nesheim: What the hell did you do!??
The Illuminati: *almost cries*
We assumed we could “even the score”.
Matthew’s dead because he was really hot. I know that sounds stupid, but he was really good-looking. I mean his sister won Miss North Dakota. It’s genetic.
So I know it sounds ridiculous, but that was why, if we’re being honest, we focused on him and he’s now dead.  There are other good-looking men in your family, but he was one of the better looking people. 
We sent Mark to an early grave because he was sort of a leader. And we also sent Bill to an early grave because again he was a leader.
Dennis Nesheim: And Lacey is just fighting for her life totally unaware of what you’re doing to us?
The Illuminati: You’re a fucking asshole, you really are. You’re a total fucking asshole.
No shit, Sherlock.
Who do you think I am? This is not easy for her to be getting us to say to you. She’s gone through Hell, you dumbass. 
Yes, but I don’t even wanna say yes to you though. Because you’re such a fucking prick. 
Tom: She’s not a part of your family in heaven, sweetheart. She’s my daughter so she is a part of your family in sense. But you really are way out of line and I’ll be beginning to wonder if you have dementia.
Where do you all come up with these crazy ideas about her?
Dennis: *no response*
Tom: It’s really sad. I’m superior to you too. You don’t probably understand that, but I’m very much superior to you and it’s sad because she didn’t fit in in your family. Do you know what I mean by that? Do you know what I’m hinting at you racist bitch.
Matt: She actually likes you, which makes the whole thing even worse. She really has been nothing but nice to any of you, up until recently, when she put some people in their place and they chose to end their relationship with her rather than confront their mistakes like adults.
Dennis: You can’t go around calling people fags.
Lacey: *laughs*
He doesn’t seem like that to you?
Dennis: Did they give you truth syrup?
Tom: Yes.
Dennis: Whether he does or not, you can’t go around saying things like that to people.
Lacey: *laughs*
I was so sick and tired of you people and your nonsense. You pretend to be so nice, but there are so many things that are just absolute nonsense. 
Paula: You’re right.
Lacey: No, Dennis didn’t go to someone’s wedding and it was a cruel decision. And so I thought you know that’s really have it out. Let’s talk about stuff. Isn’t everyone into that in your family with counseling and all that? 
Gail: I hear you.
Lacey: If he’s so superior psychologically compared to everyone else in the family, then he shouldn’t have been remotely surprised by what I said. And if he loves me the way that he said he did then he should know that I meant it in good spirit or I’m struggling in some way and none of that worked out, so clearly you’re all full of shit somehow. And it’s not because you’re poor, you’re wrong or you’re evil in some way.
Dennis: I think we just don’t care about you in that way and we never really have.
Lacey: But what does that have to do with what happened? Even if that’s true, there’s still something you’re all lying about.
Dennis: I think Lacey, that somehow we did get it in our head that we wanted to be both elite and better than other people and yet not at the same time.
And so it’s like we like what you and your father have. Good taste, good manners, good sense. But we don’t wanna dress-up the way that you probably would if you’d been raised differently. You know? We don’t want a fancy house or a fancy car or a fancy husband.
We just want to live in a $600,000 house somewhere in Bismarck, and send our kids to NDSU or UND or somewhere, you know, good. I think we would be OK with a kid that wanted to go to Harvard, but we would be a little suspicious. Because that’s not really who we are. So it’s not like we don’t have planes or yachts or money. We just don’t want all of the other stuff that comes with that.
Lacey: Yeah. Because in order to have all the other stuff that comes with that you have to be more honest about certain things.
If you’re just going to the University of North Dakota and living in a $700,000 house in Minot, you don’t have to be honest about your sexual orientation. You could be a decent person with good manners and be bisexual and entirely closeted and get away with it. And I think up until recently that is far more casual and pleasant and relaxed than having to examine yourself as a man and figure out who you really are. I think there are definitely bisexuals in that family who are very closeted, but they’re still functional because they just don’t think about it. I guess they don’t have to.
They can just go to church with their wife do their job, hang-out wherever they hang-out and no one really questions them. Because why would people question them? They would obviously be in love with their wife, if they’re in a happy marriage with their wife, because they’re bisexual. So it’s very chill.
That’s not me, but is that the idea? To just be really like low-key and just kind of casual? 
Dennis: Yes.
And it’s obviously not just that there are people who have struggles that they don’t talk about. It’s that there are people who don’t get interested in things like fashion or art unless if they’re really serious about it. 
Lacey: So it’s not just a hobby or what do they do instead?
Dennis: They they do have hobbies, but they’re more- I think you’re trying to talk like us.
*he laughs*
They’re more-They’re more casual.
Lacey: What exactly are they?
Dennis: Well some people get really into needle-work and sewing, other people get really into organizing their house. Other people get very into volunteering in their community. Some people get very interested in art, I guess. But not really in the way that you do.
For them, it’s more of an occasional type of thing. Unless if they’re taking it really seriously. But no, we do more with volunteering and sitting around talking and sewing and cross-stitching.
Lacey: So you go skiing in a very intense way?
Dennis: Yes, and it might be inferior to be honest, but not entirely. It depends on how you look at it, but yes, we’re very in skiing and it’s extremely intense very competitive with some of us.
Casi: Can I join your family? *she says seriously*
Chris: I think that’s normal.
I’m normalizing that!
That’s so normal.
Oh my gosh, you said it! This is hilarious.
Casi: OK then I guess I’m a Nesheim. Oh my God! You guys my family owns billions in oil.
Dennis: That woman is desperate.
Lacey: Are you gonna tell her no or keep kickin’ it?
A middle class woman in Minot: You guys have to reject her even if you don’t like Lacey for sad reasons and you do like me. Do you understand that or not?
Dennis: *cries*
Why? *he says to the Illuminati*
Dr. Moritz: What is your problem? That woman is obviously insane.
Dennis: I thought you meant Lacey and I was gonna laugh with you at Lacey, cause I love laughing at Lacey. It’s one of my favorite things to do. We love laughing at Lacey. We love it. It’s so much fun.
*he laughs*
The man that she outed as bisexual, has a son who named a dog after her son, because we love laughing at Lacey. It’s fun. We love it.
I don’t wanna be nice to Casi, but I don’t wanna reject her…cause it’s so nice that she hates Lacey. It’s so…pretty.
Dr. Moritz: Pretty?
Dennis: Haven’t you ever thought of an idea as pretty? It’s an attractive idea.
The Illuminati: Why do you all hate her so damn much? What the fuck is wrong with you all? She’s actually a very sweet person.
Dennis: Because she’s better than us genetically, and we’re extraordinarily competitive and ruthless we’re very quiet about it. I think we just refuse to be humble and loving, and instead we decided to be evil and throw her under the bus.
