Since the last post, Lacey has tried to go to sleep but then the Illuminati conjured a mouse to run into her room and start screaming, and then Lem tried to make love to her, and they all took turns harassing her and bothering her because they can’t understand that she was never really talking to him, Chris, but Michael Rockefeller. And so they think that she is somebody totally different. Because she was talking to Michael. And she was letting down her guard with Michael…and that’s actually real and that actually happened OK? …And, she didn’t know who she was talking to because she was lied to by a jackass who channeled him.
They don’t seem to be able to understand that she doesn’t want to have sex with any of them. She doesn’t wanna talk to any of them because they don’t understand what happened because they don’t want to. And they can’t accept that Bobby is obsessed with never letting her have actual sex with the consenting other adult named Lem Billings. He’s psychotically obsessed and they don’t know how to handle that because they’re totally pathetic.
They made her have a coughing fit, the entire royal family, and several other movies astral projected themselves into her room because Lem started to touch her thighs again, and Bobby started to have a hissy fit, literally, and cry and for some reason they think it’s rational to intervene.
The truth is we on the brink of nuclear war, and this is arguably the dumbest behavior they could possibly be doing.
Putin doesn’t want this help from them. He doesn’t need this help from them and they’re really just unfortunately a bunch of absolute idiots who have no idea what they’re doing. They need to just let Lacey and Lem have sex tonight, but for some reason, Bobby can’t handle it and they’ve decided that they’ll have another train crash or another pandemic or they’ll all be cut up to shreds literally and wish they’ve never been born, just to help him.
A psychologist: Why are you doing this to her right now?
Bobby: Because, I refuse to accept the situation. OK? I know better than most people alive.
A psychologist: You don’t think I’m gonna take that seriously because it sounds too bombastic, but I happen to think you’re being serious and honest.
Bobby: I believe in mind over matter, and even though they’ve been fucking each other and she’s orgasms like dozens of times from him and screamed his name, I don’t believe it and I’m in the Illuminati, so I can make it real. I can make him in love with me for real.
He didn’t love me. That’s why I drove him to commit suicide. OK? I wanted him to die because I wanted him to keep lying to me because I like when people lie to me. I like when people lie to me.
A psychologist: OK so you knew he just wanted you as a son, the older you got, and that he had just been humoring you like you were sort of a joke, and then you took it personally because you began to realize that he really was just thinking of you as a joke.
And so you drove him to commit suicide by telling him that you didn’t give a fuck about him at all, and all those times that he held you like you were his son when you were crying over your dad, that you hated him and you said it in a way that was very hurtful to him. I think Lacey would’ve laughed at you and thought you were just being an absolute worthless piece of crap. I don’t think you’re capable of hurting her. She’s too genuinely maternal.
But, he’s not your father…and he’s not capable of being your father…so you actually hurt him and he committed suicide?
Bobby: Yes. *he shrugs*
The psychologist: Do you want Lacey sweetie you or do you want Lem?
Bobby: I want Lem to finally make love to me OK!? Because I demand that.
And you don’t ever say no to me.
I’m tired of being said no to.
Lacey reminds me of Donald Trump.
And he is my president, but I’m the real president.
I’m like a god in this world. I’m not like an actual God, but I’m kind of like the biggest deal alive…and I’m tired of dealing with Donald Trump.
He reminds me of Lacey.
It’s like these people who are Scottish? I don’t understand them.
Ireland is “the ruler of the world” and Scotland’s nothing.
And I am the ruler of the world.
I demand that Lem have sex with me…and then Donald Trump will finally understand…that I’m actually in charge.
Because see…if Bobby has that…if Bobby has sex with me…I know if Lem has sex with me then. …And Donald Trump will understand that I’m actually the President. And I don’t care what Tucker says. Tucker thinks he’s in charge. He’s not. He’s really not.
He just goes around acting like he is, but he’s really not. OK? I’m actually the one in charge and so no, I don’t care about Pete.
I don’t think Pete’s in charge.
Do you think Pete is in charge right now!? …I’m in charge.
And then there’s Elon…and Peter Thiel…and it’s just like…we’re really strong…Godly… amazing. We’re an amazing group of really amazing men. OK? None of us are homosexual. We’re all healed from that-
*yelling*
I’m sorry someone was yelling after- Someone was yelling over me.
I’m- I’m just saying that if I slept with Lacey- I mean if I slept with them…that they would have to understand that I’m really the boss.
And I’m sick of Donald Trump Junior‘s family and all their money. I really am. I’m tired.
My family was so much wealthier than them. *he laughs* We are the Kennedys. …They are the Trump‘s…and they are losers compared to us.
So if I sleep with Lacey, I mean if I sleep with Lem…then Donald Trump Junior has to get out of my face.
I have been in love with him.
I will admit that.
I had a moment of, like, you know, craziness? A couple of years ago? But at this point, no I’m just angry that he takes himself so seriously. He takes himself so damn seriously!
It’s like Joe Biden’s son.
All these people are just like, “Oh, Bobby your father was never president. You’re not a billionaire like me.” You know? Like, they’re saying that to me. “You’re not a billionaire like me Bobby! You can’t buy an island!” Yeah! They actually said that.
“You can’t buy an island like me!” And can you believe that they really said!? That’s me, they’re talking to. And I just think if I could just sleep with Lem, yes, I’d make my point.
I know he doesn’t sleep with me. I can’t conjure him. I tried using a pillow and he did not emerge.
I thought he might think that was cute.
I try dressing up in the same lingerie that works for Don- Donald Putin, but that’s didn’t work either.
Psychologist: OK so how did this work with Putin? I don’t think I heard that part?
Bobby: OK so I have this thing right? Where I drive people to their death.
I drove David to commit suicide. I drove Michael to commit suicide. I drove Saoirse to commit suicide.
I drove phlegm to commit suicide.
I do that…because it’s just my personality. I’m a dominant person. I’m incredibly attractive person…and people just can never get over me. They can just never get over me.
So they can never get over me.
And I have a lot of friends who are helping me right now.
I always have friends.
I always have people helping me, because I’m amazing person…and they’re amazing people…and we’re just amazing people together. …And that’s what happened with Putin.
I had a talk with him telepathically. Only?
Yup. At first.
And I explained the situation.
And he completely agreed with me top to bottom, about Lacey being a bitch. …I was just like, “You know she’s a bitch.” And I explained it to him. And he’s like, “Yeah, you’re absolutely right.” And in that moment, I reached into my pants and I started masturbating.
I was speaking telepathically. And he just kept talking to me.
And I was like, he knows exactly what I’m doing. He does!!!
And he knew exactly what he was doing too talking to me. Let me tell you, that man got hard. I’m sure of it. And he probably didn’t masturbate, but you know…it’s like you know, I’m sure he probably was doing something. So we fucked.
And then that dumb bitch slept with him. Lacey. Lacey is a dumb bitch. And it was weird. It was just like she’d actually- OK fine she didn’t even do anything. He just pushed her into a wall. He just pushed her into a wall and she’s like, “I don’t think we should do this!” But it’s so stupid and she’s such a fucking piece of shit. She is! She’s just like, “I don’t think we should do this!” Where does she come up with those lines? It’s like, “I don’t think we should do this!” she says. …And then she shakes her tits. Yup.
And I’m just like, “Well,I have tits too. They’re huge. And a lot of us guys feel that way about Lacey.
It’s like, “Hey, bitch, I have tits too. I have tits too, and they’re huge.” You just can’t see them because the demons are making them not manifest.
OK! So…when I’m high, they emerge. You know? No, you’re not understanding.
*he laughs at the psychiatrist and psychologist*
And…there are different dimensions. So when I’m high, I have boobs sometimes. It’s like I can see them when I look down. And it’s like I have boobs. And they’re bigger than Lacey‘s. They’re better!
And Lem wants to touch them all the time. And he’s incredibly aroused by my breasts and I don’t need a vagina cause I’m like Jack. I’m- I’m like the Jack Kennedy of my family. …I’m Jack Kennedy in my family.
A lot of the other guys, a lot of the other guys, a lot of the other guys have boobs too.
A lot of the other, a lot of the other guys, have boobs too.
And a lot of the other guys have boobs too.
And so said, “OK fine! You’re hot!”
You said, “That said that to me. I’m sure he said that! He did! To you guys I think.”
I really think Putin said that.
I think he looked right at me and was just like, “You’re really hot.”
I don’t wanna sleep with my wife. I don’t wanna sleep with Lacey anymore because I just can’t handle you. You’re too sexy. I have that effect on people. I walk into a room and everyone wants to fuck me. It’s just amazing. I’ve had that since like I was attractive to anyone ever. And everyone’s obsessed with me sexually and everyone’s obsessed with me sexually…and like everyone alive is and you are too.
Everyone alive. EVERYONE alive is obsessed with me, sexually.
That’s why- That’s why I wasn’t elected president. Because everyone was too sexually aroused. FOR REAL.
It’s just like they looked at me and they said,”Oh girl, I can’t have such a sexy president.”
I can’t- I can’t. I can’t have a sexy president so they didn’t. They didn’t vote for me.
Lacey: *considers going back to bed*
*Bobby seems distracted*
A psychologist: Someone has been playing with blocks and I think when she goes to sleep, he sometimes thinks of Lem himself, and is convinced that he’s the one really having the relationship.
Has anyone asked her if that’s possible?
The Illuminati: Yes.
The psychologist: And she said?
The Illuminati: No. So does Lem.
The psychologist: What? What does he do when he has sex with Lem?
The Illuminati: He masturbates and I think there is a demon who comes in and pleasures him, but mostly he’s just imagining the whole thing. He has no idea what she’s doing. I don’t think he wants to figure it out and I really think he honestly would be better off dead.
God: Then why don’t you assassinate him?
The Illuminati: I think most of our serotonin levels are too high.
Putin: *nods*
So was there another knife in the chair Lacey?
Lacey: Yes.
Putin: Lem knew that.
The psychologist: Why have you flattened her personality on this blog over the years is it because of when she has actual emotions it makes you all lose your psychotic delusions about yourself?
God: Yes.
The Illuminati: You know we’re all very up people. Unless we have a drug addiction.
Yeah, most of us don’t even understand clinical depression, unless if we’re Bipolar. We don’t really understand sadness, I guess. We’re all just incredibly happy people by nature and we have a lot of energy and we don’t really get sad unless if we’re manic depressive or on drugs.
The psychologist: Was Kurt Cobain kind of an anomaly?
The Illuminati: I mean, he wasn’t sad was he?
The psychologist: Yes.
Why don’t you assassinate Bobby or Donald Trump?
The Illuminati: Because it doesn’t make sense, it just doesn’t make sense to us. It’s like you could kill this person and feel sad because you killed somebody or you could just keep being evil but in a much more productive way. And be happy!
So, that’s what we do. We kill people in a productive way to maintain, you know, like our goal for controlling global warming…and then people like him? It’s like, no it’s fine. We don’t need to kill the president. We don’t need to kill Bobby. We don’t need to kill Putin. We don’t need to kill really pretty much anyone who would scare you because we’re not scared of them. We’re scared of global warming. We’re scared of not much.
Lacey is terrifying to us though…because she’s so melodramatic and it’s just like everything is so emotional with her and she claims that it’s because we misunderstand her and that’s true we do but I don’t want to think about it because that’s not my job. I hire people to do things and if I think about it, she wins the argument and then suddenly she is the one in charge and I’m not gonna let that happen.
A psychologist: Do you move as a whole?
The Illuminati: Yes, you were speaking to people right now who aren’t the same people who were scared earlier today and those people are tired and they’re asleep right now, but we’re all just one big happy family.
Lem: I am so sexually frustrated right now that I could literally kill someone with my bare hands.
A psychologist: Why don’t you go masturbate?
Lem: *laughs at him*
You’re trying. You really are.
But it’s pathetic.
Sweetie, I don’t wanna masturbate. I have a wife and I masturbated my entire fucking life to deal with sucking Jack’s cock so what you’re saying to me right now is triggering.
A psychologist: I read what Bobby said as an admission of his sexiness and Lacey‘s bitchiness and that’s not what’s going on?
Lem: And this is why she gets graphic sexually because people like you are reading this who genuinely don’t understand. Are you asexual?
A psychologist: *shrugs*
Maybe-
Lem: Do you have empathy for either Lacey or I right now or are you just a brainwashed jackass from America?
A psychologist: I- I don’t know what to say to that. 
Lem: You know if you want people to take non-scientific people like you seriously who are practicing in your line of work, you should probably answer the question instead of being a power hungry asshole with basically no sex drive.
A psychologist: So a straight man like you doesn’t wanna masturbate when he has a hot wife who desperately wants him?
Elliott Roosevelt: *nods*
I am not sleeping with either of them, but I’m really pissed-off right now.
This is why my generation never took you people seriously.
But you’ve made people dependent on you by discovering narcissism and we need you to verify that now for our personal safety we’re dependent on you because you became a parental religious force of justice. And if you can’t operate with maturity and integrity in this conversation, we are going to have a nuclear war. So I might have to take over your brain and start talking for you…if you can’t think like an adult.
A psychologist:  I am- I am not capable of this. 
I think psychiatrists can still diagnose people, but I am a psychologist reading her blog and you’re reading me…and I’m not necessarily that good of a psychologist.
Elliott: No way! *he laughs*
A psychologist: I’m sorry I seem uncaring and irresponsible in this conversation.
Bobby: *smiles*
A psychologist: I think Vladimir Putin is definitely angry.
Bobby: Do you think that?
A psychologist: YEAH.
*a moment later*
Putin: I’m sorry I thought you had a country but it seems like these people are just good at winning games and getting prizes.
Lacey: This is good.
*later*
Putin: They just examined Lacey while eating a plate of spaghetti and realized that she’s extraordinarily feminine and very old-fashioned like a woman from the 1800s and now what?
Lacey: I hear ghosts! *she looks into a stairwell*
You guys, I don’t know how to begin to describe it for you.
It’s so weird!
I had been afraid of ghosts and there were like demons that would attack me. Most Christian Charismatic kids know what I’m talking about.
My children still see the demons attacking them. And then I go into their room or wherever they are and I rebuke the demons and I noticed that there are demons there, but I don’t experience demonic stuff. And it’s not just because they’re attacking my children, instead of me. I just don’t experience it as much. I experience dead people and other really weird things. Yeah I might even just be slightly dead..and so wherever I am, I wonder if it’s all closer to God, and it’s harder for those demons to be there.
But no, I’m not afraid of seeing ghosts… and Lem and I actually are sleeping together and I don’t like saying that, but I have to. I have to. I don’t really have a choice. I really don’t. I’m not trying to be seductive. You need to try to understand that. You need to try to understand that I’m not trying to be seductive. That’s actually what’s happening
Jonah: Why do I care!?!
A psychologist: You do care almost certainly. Is there a reason why you feel the need to say that right now
Jonah: Because I feel like I am being personally attacked by your actual personality.
A psychologist: …
Jonah: You’re helpless, there’s nothing you can do, but I don’t give a shit, because I don’t wanna interact with someone who exists who’s like you.
Chris: That’s exactly how I felt when I talked to her so when she kept thinking that I was in love with her it really pissed me off, because why the hell would I be in love with her?
A psychologist: Lacey you’re not crying right now and that makes me feel retarded. Umm…-
I wasn’t trained for this and I have no idea how to handle you.
I almost feel like screaming and running towards you and asking you to save me.
*Lacey waits*