“The Danger of Satan” by Lem

The Hem by Jonny Greenwood plays.

It’s 1896.

Satan watches.

Christ watches.

And if there’s reincarnation SATAN watches.

Satan watches as Lacey and Lem…May and Billy…go about their business. Ordinary as always. Most people have their own business. Even if it’s just blinking, blinking in the arms of Christ in Heaven.

Lacey and Lem had their own business. They did. He’d sit in his study. For hours. Looking over papers. He was careful and loving and shrewd. And May was cheerful. …Her job was to be cheerful. Billy needed her to stay happy. For his own sanity.

And being…innocent and strong and loving and…innocent…she was able to be happy. Why? Because she didn’t know how much Hell is lost.

Jack Kennedy as a somewhat poor, somewhat rich, evil Japanese man…was OBSESSED with evil. His parents sold other Japanese people into slavery within Japan. It was part of their family business. They sold fruit and people. He didn’t know any better.

1:40

So when he died in the 19th Century…in Japan…he didn’t go to Heaven. He went to Purgatory.

The song ends.

And sadly…Jack wasted his time. He hated people. And he did a favor for a dead, humiliated Japanese king. An angry, bitter Japanese king who was not willing to lose even though he’d rightfully lost. This Japanese king was evil. …He agreed to let himself be lost to evil…and used as a pawn. The Japanese king told Jack that he would lose his mind essentially and forget the conversation…without forgetting the conversation. And Jack agreed…because he was already evil. Jack was not out of the grace of God. He was in Purgatory. But he was not…in Heaven, you see. He was still accepting his salvation in Christ. He had free will still. And he choose to possibly obliterate his own soul for eternity…instead of just humbly accepting God’s salvation.

Why did Jack choose to obliterate his own soul? Well…possibly he didn’t realize he had one. Possibly his family in Japan were extremely proud…but very evil…and very foolish. Foolish because they didn’t want to be moral. His mother was mildly lovely but also very vain and manipulative. His father was fat. Quiet. And extremely passive. And secretly very evil. He used his wife’s silliness and vanity to cover up for his own profound evil. And she knew. She knew. But she was ditzy…and also humorously or not…didn’t know. But it was a sort of…meaningless ditziness. Because it didn’t help her husband or her family but rather just made her tragically blind to her own suffering at the hands of her silently evil husband.

Jack’s uncle in Japan was a sociopath. He scared Jack. He regularly tortured animals and killed them while Jack’s father watched and laughed. It was something they did together to bond. Jack’s father felt it was a way of subduing his brother’s evil…but also he loved watching things suffer. He was capable of good…but he was a very cold man too.

Anyway…the Japanese crown used Jack’s family. It was a dirty secret. They used them to sell people. And there were kickbacks and agreements and sorts of things of that sort.

…So possibly Jack had an immediate reaction of passive agreement with the evil Japanese king because he had learned his mother’s ditziness as a way of relating to people…because he was quietly evil like his father and knew. Jack wasn’t a ditz. He was just evil and not particularly intelligent. Anyway…he readily agreed to it.

So…Jack took off for ENGLAND. …And tragically he found Billy and May.

Why tragic? Because they had fantastic sex. Mind-blowingly good sex. Will we die in ecstasy sort of sex. Often. Often enough.

Jack became fixated on their sex.

The king did not specify how his plan to get revenge against the British Empire was supposed to come to its end. He was a weak, defeated, evil king. No. He was not the best Japan had or has to offer the world. But if there’s reincarnation he was…a Japanese tsar. A Japanese king. A Japanese emperor. And Jack was willing to do his part.

May I remind you that at the end of the war JP Kennedy triggered (and may have even caused) an ATOM BOMB was dropped on HIROSHIMA? Jack…sided with an evil man. Jack sided with an evil dead emperor.

And so…if there’s reincarnation…Jack may or may not…have been supposed to focus on their sex like. Possibly? Possibly not.

Possibly…Jack was supposed to focus on their souls? Because the war was about GOD. The British Empire was Christian

And so…in bitterness…the Japanese emperor may have indicated to Jack to attack their souls. Their very essences. To really get at their core, the core of the British, and gut them. To rip out their very beings. To dismantle them. TO DISMANTLE THEM. TO DISMANTLE THE BRITISH. To dismantle all of the souls of the British? …Or to destroy their…offending parts. Cut off the head…and rip out the spine? Like a fish.

But in his silliness and evil attack ON JESUS the Japanese emperor found SCOTIA.

El-Shaddai as sung by Amy Grant plays.

If there’s reincarnation…by focusing on their sex life…he may have created a disastrous 20th century and possibly a disaster in the 21st that we’re currently experiencing. And if there’s reincarnation Lacey will be adamantly advocating for an end to the entire world. Because the Holocaust was enough. Thank you. No more. And the child slavery trade…is…Lacey’s final straw.

“Why did you allow us to fester?” Lacey asks God.

“Yeah. We keep our Christian church as the official religion of our nation for a very good reason.” says King Charles III.

“Why did you go to Billy and May!? And why did you pick apart their sex life?” asks a reader.

“I picked a couple. Because they made me feel loved.” says JFK. He points to his head. “I used my dad’s cleverness.” He thinks. “And I picked their sex life because…I LOVE SEX!” he says smiling.

“And it seemed effective?” asks a king.

“I felt the right vibration.” says JFK. “It matched the vibration as demonstrating by the emperor.”

“What else could he have chosen?” asks Don Draper.

“Love!!!” yells the emperor. “Any sort! Love for food works!!” he yells.

“You wanted to be strong like Lem?” asks God. “If this isn’t just analogy and if it’s analogy both.”

“YES!!” says JFK.

“Strong waist.” says JFK.

“And you had lust for them both?” asks God.

“YES. I am a pervert. Unconfessed. Like my parents.” says JFK.

“Jack that’s also insane.” says God. “The lust is insane.”

“Why did you choose Jack…?” asks a reader of the possible Japanese Emperor.

“Because-

I am terrified of her.” he says about Lacey.

“I’m not afraid of anyone but God. Or the lack of Him.” says Lacey.

“Appearances MATTER.” says Lem.

“Our minds are fallen.” says Lacey.

“Because…I once fucked Jack’s mother. In the afterlife. She is a huge whore.” explains the dead Japanese Emperor. “And I felt sorry for her. She loved to complain and it was true…but also a trick.”

“What was the trick?” asks China.

“She liked to pretend to be like Lacey. Tortured. A sweet. And sexy. But she…was not Lacey. She was…well…just a whore after all.” says the possible dead Japanese Emperor.

“So she just wanted your cock?” asks Tsar Putin.

“No! She wanted my evil…to use as her own. She wanted to gut my soul. …My plan was a simple one. Lacey can explain.

I will try.

I wanted to use the British people’s love against them. They were such loving people. So…happy. And I felt they had cheated. You know? Cheated the system, so to speak. And…so…I guess…I planned to find a way into their core…as an entity-nation…to destroy them. Find their core and snap their spine. But…it didn’t work out.” he says. “Instead I have merely…ruined the world and made it possibly uninhabitable.”

“No. It’s okay! Let’s just end the world then!” says Lacey on a bright note from sunny Minnesota, to God. “We can just end it!”

“Why did you choose Jack again?” asks a reader.

“Stop, drop, and roll!” jokes Kamala about Millennial women.

JD Vance snickers, for some mysterious reason.

“Because I owed his mother a favor. For sex.” says the Emperor. “She was loved by her husband. She was also a great cook. Very nice lady. …She is not the best. But she made good soup. Okay soup. I ate her soup. …Very good.”

“But you didn’t…love her?” asks an Indian.

“No. I did. …But she was cheap. Okay!? I’m a busy man. And I have…desires. *He laughs* I have to find…beauty. Lust. Madness. …His mother was a fat…sloppy…materialistic…mildly pretty…slut. She would sleep with any man who gave her what she wanted. She didn’t necessarily want love. She wanted…what she wanted.” says the emperor.

“And what did his father want?” asks Jim Carey.

“Me. His father was…not loyal. But…I didn’t know that. I thought the man was just stupid. No. He was secretly very much my enemy.” says the emperor.

“So now what?” asks Lacey.

Dick In A Box by The Lonely Island plays as Flannery O’Connor is put back in a box. On behalf of Jack’s Japanese father.

“You like it?” asks the Japanese man of Flannery’s father.

“There’s no need for that!” says Flannery’s grandfather.

Flannery tapes her box shut and prays she’ll be left alone in her huge cardboard box. Lacey pokes a few holes in it.

The song finishes.

Young Forever by JAY-Z plays.

“So…Chris…Diego wanted to use Lacey’s…brain…to end the world?” asks a writer.

“YUP!” says Diego. “The Kennedys didn’t fix shit.” He dances on the otherside. “It was just time. Okay? It was…time.”

“Tic Tock?” says Bill Gates.

“BILL…GATES.” says the the CIA. “Gatekeeping?”

“So what now?” says Lacey.

“How can she possibly have been my mother?” says Jack to God.

“Because of your father. She is not your mother. SHE IS NOT YOUR MOTHER.” says God.

“Then I’m sick.” says JFK, like it’s God’s fault and problem not his.

“Good!” says God. “But I can’t make you care.”

“So now what!?” says Lacey.

A Beautiful Mine by RJD2 plays.

“What’s your concern Lacey!?” yells Satan.

“I’m worried about the middle class.” says Lacey.

“Umm…did you understand that there was reincarnation or not?” Maggie Lake asks the Japanese emperor. “If there was and is.”

“Yes. The idea was that Jack was supposed to find away to gut Great Britain.” says the emperor.

“OK but like how does going to America gut Great Britain?” asks a reader. 

“Because it’s just America. I come from a time when they were not very important.” he says.

“So you didn’t you didn’t plan for America to become a big deal? You were just thinking that-that-that it would somehow get to Great Britain and that they would be a British problem but that America wouldn’t have to deal with it?” says MSNBC.

“Yes I did. I didn’t think-I didn’t-I didn’t think that-that it would be a problem because I didn’t think Great Britain would be able to escape.” says the Japanese emperor.

“So you just thought that somehow if this if this is real and there’s reincarnation, you just thought that Great Britain would have to deal with whatever Jack did? You didn’t think that Lacey and Lem would ever exist?” says a Chinese woman.

“ no I did not think they would ever exist. I reasoned that if they did, they would be very minute and unimportant that was part of the curse on their life. If there’s a reason, carnation was that Lacey and them were supposed to become the diminished highly diminished from their former selves, that was part of my curse. Well, I didn’t orchestrate it but jacked it and that was the idea was that they were supposed to be highly diminished to honor the Japanese emperor, which is who is myself so they were supposed to be highly diminished. nobody’s and then I was supposed to sort of be honored by that they were falling into the waste bin of history, because I assumed that once they met Jack and saw my great glory and power, they would be embarrassed and ashamed sort of like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden but I am God in the situation I play God I play the role of God I am so in the situation I in my estimation played the role of God and Lacey and her husband were Adam and eve and so Lacey and her husband were Adam and eve and then I am assumed that they would just sort of fade off into the ether and if they were reincarnated as fools because I assume that they would only be fools if they reincarnated after reckoning with my wrath that they would be greatly diminished up genuinely so that not as they are Lacey and Lem’s we’re not diminished enough if it all they were supposed to be genuinely diminished like actual nobodies, not nobodies who came from old money and we’re in the White House and become the focus of intense speculation like actual nobodies, they were supposed to be actual nobodies not the daughter of some oh man who ran the world from his $2 million house on Lake Calhoun actual nobody’s there is there a traces of that she is a love child possibly and lame thought he was gay and they were not as wealthy as they were before but it’s not as I imagined it at all it’s not as I wanted it to be as I imagined him, they would return as peasants, sad, and actually I may not have meant to separate them that may not be some thing I condoned I excepted it I went with it so to speak that I may not have actually wanted that as my ideal they would not have been separated. I might find that offensive or weird and strange and gross so I imagine they stay together and be poor and happy we’re not too happy just poor and sort of happy, but very very horribly embarrassed so embarrassed that they could barely walk, because they were so embarrassed by my granddaughter not like snakes, but something like that crawling on the ground, embarrassed but poor and together this is not my sense of humor. If there’s reincarnation, I am merely being honest, because I am being forced to be honest by God, because of the drastic severe nature of the situation.

I do not think that Billy and Mae were wise people to attack. I think Jack made a horrible mistake. Lacey could sort of be his mother, but he’d be a totally different person and he has yet to fathom that concept that he would hardly feel like himself if she was his mother.

If there’s reincarnation, he would sort of be like himself, but he would be very very different. He might be happier, but he would not be entirely himself at the very least.

He wants to be her son as roses son as a trick and it’s stupid because that’s not how it works. He’s a very dumb man.

So Lacey and them are supposed to be poor and together if they came back in the 20th century or they were supposed to not come back at all out of shame for what I have done to them. What did I do to them? I watched them having sex or so what does the situation that was what Jackie gave me to work with so the idea was that I watched them having sex and that was the problem. I thought that would make them feel incredibly ashamed, but it didn’t. It made them embarrassed and just shamed more confused and repulsed I did not understand their psychology or superiority to be honest, so I assumed that they would somehow be embarrassed and it did not work and they reincarnated I’ll be half of Africa I’m a because they had their own lives and I was merely watching them and they did not understand because of the curse that I put on them at least fully if at all what was going on yes, if there’s green carnation this still make sense even in Christianity. Great evening I am in Purgatory.

And even in the situation as it stands, I am in trouble, because I did not expect them to reincarnate if there is reincarnation, I assumed way too much of my grinder and cylinder and my power. I assumed that my people were more in love with me as their leader than they are, or that their wrath and anger against me, did not matter, I thought I was still somehow in charge of Japan him and so I found a way in to destroy the British but it did not work. I I thought Lacey and Lem’s would not reincarnate. If there’s reincarnation thought they would stay ashamed and Dad and then I would finally get to reckon with Great Britain ha ha I was going to say to the nation of Britain. I have found your weakness you are self indulgent and poor and sloppy or you have your wealth in appropriately. You do not have the discipline, nor the honor nor courage of the Japanese And so I shall say to you, you are weak due to your excess love, and now in your ex your access, you shall behold under my wrath, the saith, the Lord God.

And then I was going to get the British, find their core and embarrass them, and explain to them that they were weak and stupid. After all that my people, even though we lost, we’re still victorious in the afterlife just give us time, and we will regain authority over the earth, what is my thought why did Jack choose them because he was being evil and so was I and so he accidentally found a father’s soulmate married to another man who was her twin flame and still is so yes, if there’s reincarnation, Jack found his father’s twin flame And and that was an accident and then he went for his mothers soul out of pure evil and jealousy just like his mother in Japan and his sadistic father and their family.

The lamb was not gay. He was straight, and he still is he never conceded his soul to Jack. He conceded his soul to God and made a mess of his life. You don’t understand what happened regardless of whether or not there’s reading carnation or not. I’m sorry things are so complicated for your weak minded understand

Jack was supposed to not turn them gay that was not the point or was it. It might have been but the idea was to go to great Britain, not make lamb his lover I almost wonder if Jack got distracted and has lied to himself about it or if he’s simply a loser who is in capable of doing anything.

If there’s reincarnations the woman in Lake superior, a paranormal is queen Elizabeth’s the first

Don’t try to figure out if there’s reincarnation based on just a picture, but if there’s not reincarnation, Queen Elizabeth is pointing out to you that their eyes do look different or if there is reincarnation, she’s pointing out to you that their eyes don’t look different and you should be careful.

If there’s a ring carnation that psychic investigator is partially alive because she’s trying to help Lacey and Lem because she really loves her people that much. she’s an incredibly brave woman. Like Lacey she’s not afraid because she trust Christ.

You’re not supposed to talk to the dead, but Jack sadistically attacked Lacey and became fixated on their sex life and threw her into a living hell because he became so statistically obsessed with Lem’s and trying to make Lem gay for him. He he he would be obsessed regardless of whether or not there’s reincarnation, but this is one explanation if there is reincarnation for what is going on that your normal society is very authentic. They have literally captured ghosts and demons both and a few guardian angels trying to save them if you are Catholic play for both of the people doing that show for their safety in Christ, and that God will guide them towards him, I don’t think there’s a chance that either of those two will be going to hell if they’re both reincarnated as British Christians but I don’t want to think about it please pray.

Don’t attack them or cost them, but just pray for them if you’re Catholic Christian.

Yes they are. They’re actually finding real ghosts so if you’re curious to see some proof of the afterlife to give you strength to get through the hell, the reliving that you’re living through to go ahead and view them up but you must be careful about it for their safety and ours.

If there’s no illuminati, I highly suspect that the CIA and FBI will start looking for supernatural experts if the world does not end.

Yes, Bobby Kennedy Junior does talk to ghosts.

They they are currently on Lacey’s prayer list of people to pray for which is actually a pretty great honor, considering that if there’s reincarnations she started Scotland, so Scotia is currently praying for Queen Elizabeth the first but that’s not really what I was going for. I was I was trying to take them apart like a fish because if there’s reincarnation, I had a problem with them that I used to fish symbol. And so I was trying to take them apart like a fish, but I wasn’t aware I was not aware that it would. I was not aware that it would not work out. Yes if there’s reincarnation in purgatory, I am very bitter that they had Christ and my nation does not.

These are things you don’t think about right how angry a dead Japanese person might be if they ended up in purgatory. You just argue about whether or not there is purgatory not whether or not someone who went there would be angry so if there is purgatory, then, yes, that is not some thing you prepared yourselves for it seems Lacey may have, but if there’s reincarnation in Purgatory, she’s been around for a while.

I am sorry I’m behalf of the great nation of Japan that still exists to Otto Christ if we may or if we must or if we even can at all and anyway that J that Jack Kennedy became obsessed with sex. And I think Ploen was trying to let him have it to punish him the same way that he let Bobby have it with heroin, a judo move. He became obsessed with sex, because apparently he was a sex addict in Japan. His mother had an incestuous molestation relationship with him although she never molested him, she merely molested him in her mind. I was not aware of that, or if I was, I willingly ignored it because it made me too sad and embarrassed, or somethings sort of like that.

He is not a normal man. I should not have sent him on a mission. If there’s reincarnations should not have sent him to attack. The British joke is on me. Lacey feels very sad for me because if there’s reincarnations, she understands I think and she feels very sad.

I had every right to be angry about what was right to be angry about. I should not have been angry, purely for reasons of ego. It’s fine to love yourself and take yourself seriously and believe that you know but it’s not safe to think you know more than God, the actual god of the universe.

I have made a mistake. …Jack Kennedy became obsessed with Lem and trying to make a Lem’s gay.” says the Japanese emperor.

Mission: Impossible by Lalo Schifrin plays as JFK does his James Bond routine. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop. (to keep him entertained, seemingly)

“If there’s reincarnation most men…are in trouble in regard to Lacey. In the eyes of God. Because they’ve been sodomizing Lem. And their dicks were so covered in shit she wasn’t interested in them anymore. I mean that spiritually and metaphorically. Joel was unfortunately no exception. …Jack wasted my actual glory…still entrusted to me by God…to merely convince the entire world that Lem Billings was madly in love with him…and OBVIOUSLY gay.” says dead Japan. “They’ve stolen our power. Merely to IDIOTICALLY FOOL YOU ALL INTO THINKING AN OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT MAN WAS GAY.”

“Our art in America suffers. Because he gutted US.” says the CIA to the world.

“Sodomy isn’t necessarily the same thing as homosexuality. Really. Homosexuality might not be allowed in Heaven…okay!? But…sodomy is a vile act of evil war. No homosexuality is required by the sodomized victim and actually it’s more effective if the victim is straight and confused somehow. But Lem was not confused in the right way…and Jack was just…EXTREMELY STUPID!!!” yells the dead Japanese emperor losing his temper.

Later.

“I am concerned about the gold. Not the girl like? What!? I am concerned about the MONEY!” says JFK.

“Lem’s ass?” says the CIA.

“No. I am not sexually attracted to me. I am sexually attracted to sex. And MONEY.” says JFK.

“And Lem!” says the CIA.

“He’s too straight. I lie. But…that’s okay. It works out. I win!!” says JFK. “Hang tight. And hold on to your seats. There is a lot more to come. You are in…for a TREAT!”

“So…what about the US election????” offers Kamala.

No one answers. Barely anyone cares.

“So Jack…where’s my treat?” asks a male reader.

Jack laughs, as himself as you recall him. “You know…I say- I ahh…have…

I have ahh…

Well…

I have-

You could read a sex story about Lacey and Lem. But it would be a sex story about how they were…having intercourse while she was pregnant with her son…in a previous life. When she was married to Lem. …And then…he fucked her too hard. In the vagina. …And she went into premature labor.” he says. He slips back into a Japanese man of there’s reincarnation or God turns him into one again. “He fucked her too hard.”

“No thanks man.” says a living Millennial man to JFK.

“That is my only treat. Turns out.” says JFK.

“Were you there Jack?” asks a white supremacist.

“Yes! That was around the time I watched them to destroy evil. On behalf of Japan.” says JFK.

“So you…destroyed evil on behalf of Japan…by making Lem fall in love with you?” asks Queen Elizabeth I.

“No! …You are confused. That is a sexy subplot.

I attack Great Britain. On behalf of Japan. Okay! The jig is up! Fine. …But we have yet to see Great Britain fully crumble. They are still manifesting it at this time.

I work while I was alive to attack Great Britain. Subconsciously. You hate them. I make you hate them. I make you think they’re stupid. My whole family did. …And now you know. You know they’re losers.

So…you shall see.

The emperor and I are different men. I see a way using science. And reason. And evil. He uses old ways. Or he is just dumb.” says JFK.

“So…when do we…actually crumble?” asks Great Britain.

“You ALREADY HAVE!! You are in the process. You will see!” says JFK.

“Nope!” says Great Britain. “NOPE.”

“NO. You are DEAD!!!” yells JFK.

“No. We are not.” says Great Britain.

“I hated you and loved you…regardless if there’s reincarnation or not. I am merely a man.” says JFK.

“Dude I don’t think you ever had sex with JFK.” says a reader.

“I am JFK.” says JFK.

“Right. I meant Lem.” he says.

“No…we had sex. Often.” says JFK.

“So you fucked huh?” says a reader.

“We…were friends.” says JFK.

“Huh…and you fucked!?” says a reader.

JFK laughs. “We….were…in the same bed.”

“Yup. Did he service you?” asks a reader.

“Yes. He did.” says JFK in some weird way.

“Like you sodomized him?” says a reader.

“I DID NOT!!!” yells JFK.

“Then what was it?” says the reader.

“I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.” says JFK very awkwardly.

“So you sodomized him?” asks a reader.

“Nooo.” says JFK awkwardly, forcing a smile.

“I think you had hot gay sex!?” says the CIA.

“Yes. …He was…a friend.” says JFK.

“Who you had a really, really, hot sex kids with!?” says the reader.

“No. We had…sex.” says JFK.

“No. You just said you had hot sex.” says the reader.

“FINE!!!” yells JFK, rocking himself back and forth.

“So you sodomized him?” asks a reader.

“YUP!” says JFK, in irritation.

“So you don’t think he was in love with you?” asks the reader.

“NOOO!!!” yells JFK, losing it again.

“So you don’t think he was in love with you?” yells a man.

“I AM GOD!!!” yells JFK.

“But you don’t think Lem was in love with you?” asks a reader.

“YOU NIGGER!!” yells JFK.

“Jack…he wasn’t in love with you. At all.” says the reader.

“He WAS!!!” yells JFK.

“But you had to sodomize him.” says a reader.

There is NO…SUCH…THING.” says JFK. “HE LOVED IT!”

“No. There is. …You sodomized him.” says the reader.

“THERE IS NOT! …There is only gay sex. …Gay…gay sex.” says JFK.

“How gay was the sex though Jack?” says the reader.

“Yeah. The sex doesn’t sound very gay to me.” says another reader.

“It was…natural.” says JFK, pontificating.

“No. You sodomized him.” says a reader.

“NO. You are chicken. You die and come fight me.” says JFK.

“You just sodomized him. And it was all shitty sex.” says the reader.

“No. I had good sex. Okay?” says JFK.

“No. You didn’t.” says the reader.

“He suck my cock. I lay on bed…and he come on my stomach.” says JFK.

“So he was masturbating while fucking you?” says the reader.

“No.” says JFK.

“Ahh…then who got him off?” asks the reader.

“I did!!!” says JFK.

“HOW!?” says the reader.

“He…have sex…with me.” says JFK.

“HOW!?” says the reader.

“LOOK! I don’t KNOW!” says JFK. “Ask him…he’s the nigger.” *Jack laughs*

“Ahh…how did he cum, dude?” asks a reader.

“He shit himself!” yells JFK.

“He shit himself!?” says a reader.

“You FUCKER!!” yells JFK at the reader.

“Jack…how did he make himself cum?” asks the reader.

“WE HAD FUN TIME TOGETHER. …Earlier. He feeling very in love. So he…cum.” says JFK. “So simple. Just like that.”

“But physically how, dude?” asks the reader.

JFK looks condescendingly disdainful. Smirks.

“We’re waiting.” says the reader.

“YOU LIE!” says JFK.

“HOW!??” says the reader.

“He masturbated then.” says JFK.

“You said he didn’t.” says the reader.

“I was confused. You pointed out my bad memory.” says JFK.

“NO! You assured us that he didn’t.” says the reader.

“I was wrong.” says JFK.

“That’s not the way you said it!” says the reader.

“I said it wrong.” says JFK.

“Nope. That’s not the way you said it.” says the reader.

JFK pauses. Thinks. “Is this Michael Moore in the afterlife!?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.

So how did he get off? Because he didn’t masturbate.” says the reader.

“Then why do I see him naked…cumming on my belly!?” says JFK.

“You imagined it?” says the reader.

“I did. Because it was fake.” says JFK.

“It wasn’t. You were.” says the reader. “You sodomized him!”

“So he never came on you. Ever?” says another reader.

“Fuckers!” says JFK. “I fuck you!! You see! You see! You regret your decision!”

“Jack…you just sodomized a straight dude…who hated it. And hated you.” says a reader.

“You hate it too!? When I fuck you!?” he says, smirking. “YOU A LIAR!”

“It’s okay. We’re just teasing you Jack. We know you’re a bisexual rapist. And that Lem was straight.” says a reader.

“I AM STRAIGHT!!” yells JFK.

“Why don’t you just give up?” asks a reader. “Just give up and apologize. It doesn’t even matter if it’s sincere. That’s what everyone does today.”

“BECAUSE YOU LIE!!” yells JFK. “I’m JFK, okay? YOU ARE NOT!!” he says, suddenly fighting back tears.

“You’re a faggot, Jack.” says a reader.

“FINE!!! FINE!!! I’m not. But fine.

You’re so simple. You make it all seem so simple. But it’s not. It’s very complicated. You LOSER!!” says JFK.

“Jack…there’s complicated and complicated because you can’t understand. You seem what? Which one?” says the reader.

“I AM GOD!!” yells JFK.

“So you just choose evil?” says a reader.

“Yes.” says JFK. He shrugs.

“I honestly had no idea you could do that in Purgatory.” says a reader.

“I think I made myself disappear. It’s okay. I come back. It’s okay.” says JFK, laughing.

“So…you have harmed your own ghost?” asks a reader.

“Yes. That’s what the Lord says.” says JFK. “But…I am complicated.”

“Jack…you only sodomized Lem.” says a reader.

“No. I-

LOSER!!!!

LOSER!!!!” yells JFK. Hi

“Jack…we know you’re lying.

But now we’re concerned about you.

Why can’t you let go of it?” asks a reader.

“HONG TAIJI.” says JFK.

“Jack…what does he have to do with it?” asks the reader.

“He KICK MY ASS!” says JFK bending over.

“So…until Lacey is dead…you can’t let go?” asks Queen Elizabeth I.

Take Five by The Dave Brubeck Quartet plays.

“Yeah. I can…but he kick my ass.” says JFK.

“Why?” says a reader.

“PUTIN!!! YOU LOSERS! PUTIN!!” says JFK.

“What does Putin have to do with it?” says the CIA, suddenly more genuinely intrigued.

Jack stares at them. “I…guess…I made a mistake.

So…because it’s so serious…I…have to let go of the Western World. *He shrugs*

Losers.

I have to let you all die.” says JFK.

Carmina Burana by Orff plays.

“Ah…Jack…Russia is in the West.” says the CIA.

“Not…necessarily. It’s…like Ancient Egypt. If there’s reincarnation.” says JFK.

“So…you’re just dead. Huh?” says the CIA.

“Yes. …It’s very powerful country.” says JFK.

“Yup. But it’s in the West.” says the US.

“PUTIN DISAGREES.” says JFK.

“Yeah…BECAUSE OF YOU!!!” yells a reader.

“SO…that is why…I have to not let it go.” says JFK. “China can’t afford for me to understand. Not yet.”

“So…you can’t afford to not understand. Huh. …When do you understand?” asks Europe.

“When Putin wins and pays them back. And then…we’ll see.” says JFK. “That’s what Hong Taiji decided. For me.”

“So…you…are insane and delusional. But…you also are choosing to believe yourself right now…as a favor for the Chinese government?” asks a reader of JFK.

“YES!” yells JFK.

“So…you are…JFK but you’re stuck being a fool? Or you are one?” says a reader.

“I’m NOT allowed to say. I think. Maybe?” says JFK.

“So you are reincarnated?” says Michael Moore, laughing at America.

“Yes. No. Yes. …Starbucks. Watch Starbucks for signs.” says JFK, sincerely. “I will reveal the truth to you through Starbucks.”

“Are you being serious Jack?” says an American reader.

“Yes!!” says JFK.

“So…a HUGE traitor?” says the US to JFK.

“Yes. But I’m dead. So what can you do?” asks JFK. “Shoot my whole family? Before Thanksgiving?”

“No. Probably not.” says the US.

“DO IT!! I DARE YOU!” says JFK to the US.

“I’m not him. That’s illogical bullshit.” says Lacey to an Illuminati that’s suddenly again decided she must be JFK reincarnated.

“No. Jack…why did you aid Putin?” asks Roma Downey.

My Trigger plays.

“Because I’m not a nigger!” says JFK. He drops an invisible microphone.

“No. You’re a JAP!” yells Roger Sterling.

“No. There’s no reincarnation.” says JFK.

“Shoot. There goes Starbucks.” says Roger Sterling.

And at that JFK tries to kill Lacey. She physically feels it. It’s like an odd invisible pull at her from another dimension? It’s…without and within.

“So Queen Elizabeth I has a paranormal YouTube channel. If there’s reincarnation?” says the Pope.

“Yes!!” yells God.

“I’m not sure why I felt so drawn to the paranormal but…it might have been out of necessity.” says Lacey. “Not choice, at least entirely.”

“Joel Tries To Kiss Lacey”

“Joel, what went wrong?” asks Flannery O’Connor.

My Trigger by Miike Snow plays.

“I kept saying, ‘I hate fags.’ over and over again.” says Joel. “And Lacey found that morally bankrupt.”

2:14

“Why??” asks Flannery.

The song plays.

“Because I hated them.” says Joel.

“Why?” asks Flannery.

Joel laughs. “I was…a zealot. A Republican zealot. And…I had been hit on by several gay men who…were very…offensive. …They often assumed…aggressively…that I was one of them. And…I actually wasn’t.” he says. “I was…very awkward.”

“So you hit on her?” asks Flannery O’Connor.

“I asked her out…REPEATEDLY.” says Joel. He closes his eyes. “But I only hit on her once. And then I messed-up. …Twice actually. And I…was too…callous to keep trying.”

Flannery cries. Walks off crying.

“You did give me your phone number.” says Lacey.

Joel thinks.

“WHY DID YOU GIVE UP!?!” Flannery returns to ask him.

“Pull my trigger.” says Lacey along with the song.

The song plays.

“Spin.” says Lacey.

The song plays.

Lacey laughs.

“I was callous.” says Joel.

“What would you have even done if I’d called you?” says Lacey.

“I’d have been confused.” says Joel.

“And then what?” says Lacey.

“OH DEAR GOD.” he says, in shock. “Ahh…I ate breakfast.”

“What did you eat?” says Lacey.

He cries. Throws a vase at a wall. And is tempted to punch Lem in the face.

“Cornflakes.” he says,

“Did you read the newspaper?” says Lacey.

“No.” he says. “I’m…not…horny.”

“Oh. You have a girlfriend?” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” he says.

“Why did you give me your phone number?” says Lacey.

“BECAUSE I WANTED YOU!” he says.

“But you eat.” says Lacey.

“She’s not…you.” he says.

“What’s wrong with her?” says Lacey.

Joel goes into shock.

“She’s…dull. And…kinda cute. And…I’m not in love.” says Joel.

“But you had sex!?” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” says Joel. He rubs his eyes.

“So is she with you?” says Lacey.

“Yeah? She’s showering.” says Joel.

“She sounds like a huge bitch.” says Lacey.

“Oh…MY…GOD.” says Joel.

“Look…I’m not a worthless piece of shit. Okay? You wanna play? Go buy checkers. I’m not a cow. …This isn’t poker…or checkers. I’m not a card shark. This is my DAMN LIFE.” says Lacey. Then she hangs up on him.

He calls her back.

“HI!” he says.

She’s silent.

“How are you!?” he says, emphatically.

“You want to talk about the British Empire…we can talk about the British Empire.” she says.

“Are you insane?” he says.

“Are you fucking someone right now?” she says.

“Let’s…make out.” he says.

“No. Let’s discuss the British Empire.” says Lacey.

She hears a woman in the background.

She waits.

They argue.

She waits.

“Okay. Sorry.” he says, cheerfully.

“Are you okay?” says Lacey.

“No. I’m in love with you.” he says.

“Where is the other girl?” says Lacey.

“Gone!” he says.

Lacey goes quiet.

“Come here!” he says.

“Come see you?” she says.

“YES!!” he says.

“Maybe.” she says.

“Why did you do this to me!?” he says.

“I had no idea who you were.” she says sadly.

He thinks. “You still don’t know. But why not come see me?” he says.

“Who are you!??” she says.

He thinks. “Just your husband. In this life at least. We’re going to get married. I’m positive.”

The wind now in 2024 suddenly blows very hard. This never happened. But it could have.

“Should it have?” Lacey asks Christ.

“Yes.” says God. “Lem might better understand your pain.”

“Why doesn’t he get it!??” Jack asks in terror.

“BECAUSE I’M NOT YOU!!! …BECAUSE I’M JUST A MAN!! BECAUSE I’M STRAIGHT!!!! YOU IMBECILE!!!!” bellows Lem.

“Then what are we?” asks JFK.

Suddenly Flannery is stuck in a huge box.

Dick In A Box by The Lonely Island plays for Flannery O’Connor who has been aiding JFK in torturing Lacey…because she vainly believed she was a sex goddess. At least in part. Truly. She believed men…like dirty-ugly women.

A hole is cut in the box.

“Hold on! Hold on! Is this edifying Lacey, is this good or is this literally just what’s happening?” says Chris Hayes.

2:10

Lacey thinks.

The song ends.

“I think…I can’t completely tell. It could be…both?” says Lacey.

He looks concerned.

I’m On A Boat by The Lonely Island plays for the Kennedys to mock them. At the request of a few dead heroin addicts. Lacey finds it funny too.

The song ends.

Still D. R. E. plays. “Nah. I’m still fucking with you.” says Lacey to the UK, if there’s reincarnation.

Flannery makes noises as her dead husband seemingly has stuck himself in the hole in the box.

“Earlier today you told Lacey that…you understand sex. …And that sometimes men like to fuck ugly women. Because…ugly bitches understand.” says God.

The song ends.

When the Shit Goes Down by Cypress Hill plays.

Flannery is forced to have anal sex with her husband.

Through a hole.

Cut into a box.

“Yeah. That’s the right choice.” says Joel.

0:59

“You can take a poop in the box. Climb out. And you’re all done. No fuss!” says Lacey to Flannery. “It’s the newest thing!”

2:19

“Box sex! All fucking. For gals who understand.” says Lacey to Flannery.

“I screwed-up…BUT I KNEW!!!” says Chris Hayes.

Rachel Maddow does a victory dance.

The song plays.

The song ends.

Check Yo Self by Ice Cube plays.

“What’s going on?” asks Bernie Sanders.

Flannery cries in the box.

“What!?” says Chris.

Flannery throws the box over from within and then climbs out.

“I did it!” says Flannery O’Connor. She walks off. Naked.

Show Me Your Genitals 2: E=MC Vagina by Jon Lajoie plays.

Lacey laughs.

1:51

Lacey listens.

2:21

“He’s a fool! There’s a huge difference. I’ve been told that. Often.” says Lacey, very honestly and sincerely.

2:29

“Not true!

Is he serious or humorous?” says Lacey.

2:39

“He must be joking.” says Lacey.

The song ends.

The Way You Move plays.

“Is it the way you move? Or your actual vagina?” asks a rapper.

“OH COME ON!! THERE’S OBVIOUSLY A HUGE DIFFERENCE!!” yells Lacey.

He thinks. “Yeah. You’re right.” he admits.

“Why do people lie about stuff like that?” says Lacey.

“Good question!” says God.

And at that JFK tries to pull the hair off the back of Lacey’s head and she can feel it.

The song ends.

“Welp…I hope Flannery’s poop box is removed.” says Lacey.

Flannery is forced to return.

Hard Knock Life by JAY Z plays.

“I’m here. …Nah you ain’t.” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“Yo! Girl…you took a shit!” says Lacey to Flannery.

“I couldn’t not.” she says.

“You constipated, bitch?” says Lacey.

2:34

Flannery thinks.

“Nah! You took a shit! Good for you, hoe!” says Lacey.

3:14

The song plays.

The song ends.

“That’s also what Lacey looks like!” says Lem.

El-Shaddai as sang by Amy Grant plays.

“When I was a little girl my parents used to play this song repeatedly. They loved it. They were also married in a Messianic Jewish Church.

And I used to misunderstand the words.

*Lacey laughs*

I used to think the lyrics were, ‘You shall die. I shall die.‘ and then I tried to speak in Hebrew. …And then because I was about three years old…I didn’t speak the rest. But I felt it in my little heart. …I felt very saddened by this song.” says Lacey.

“I both scared myself, and cracked myself up with that one. Her father, who raised her molested her, and she figured out what was going on, and protected herself essentially from being molested, but what she did also do was occasionally get confused, and this wasn’t mentally off, but I tricked her by sending a demon who is working with her father. They listened to the song over and over again. This is fact. This actually happened! She can verify this! I guarantee you! I sent a demon who is working with her father who raised her to say some phrase. He said it or she heard it in her spirit and so she got it in her head that someone was singing, ‘You shall die! I shall die!’ and she believes that’s what the song was about was death. She believed the song was about the torture-the brutal torture Christian missionaries.” says Satan. “Her parents barely cared about her. They were very well-bred functional people, and at times I may have actually cared about her more than they did. I am evil. I have fun, but I am not necessarily pure evil and at times I actually might’ve cared more about her than her parents. Not that I’m not Satan! But I don’t want to send her to Hell although I can change my mind about stuff like that. I might not want her in Hell because her love for God is so sincere that she would keep worshiping him for eternity. And then that would be sort of pointless. Umm…but yes, this was a little joke, I tortured myself with we’ll say.”

“That’s not funny. There’s nothing remotely funny about anything she ever does.” says the Illuminati sincerely.

“Did that make her cry!? Die that make her cry? Oh my God we rejected her. I’m so excited but she’s crying?” says JFK, excitedly with Bobby.

“No she’s confused because you fucking nitwits have no sense of humor. That’s hilarious!” says Joel.

“I’m sorry. I have a really good sense of humor and this isn’t funny.” says JFK.

2:40

The song plays.

“What did you think the lyrics were?” asks Bernie Sanders.

You shall die, I shall die
El Elyon na Adonai
Age to age You’re still the same
By the power of the name
You shall die, I shall die
Erkamka na Adonai
We will praise and lift You high, I shall die

[Verse 1]
Through Your love and through the ram
You saved the son of Abraham
Through the power of Your hand
Turned the sea into dry land
To the outcast on her knees
You were the God who really sees
And by Your might
You set Your children free

El Shaddai, El Shaddai
El Elyon na Adonai
Age to age You’re still the same
By the power of the name
El Shaddai, El Shaddai
Erkamka na Adonai
We will praise and lift You high, El Shaddai

[Verse 2]
Through the years You made it clear
That the time of Christ was near
Though the people couldn’t see
What Messiah ought to be
Though Your Word contained the plan
They just would not understand
Your most awesome work was done
Through the frailty of Your Son

[Chorus]
You shall die, I shall die
El Elyon na Adonai
Age to age You’re still the same (Ooh, ooh)
By the power of the name (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
El Shaddai, El Shaddai (Ooh)
Erkamka na Adonai
I will praise You (Praise You) ’til I die, El Shaddai
El Shaddai, El Shaddai (Ooh)
El Elyon na Adonai
Age to age You’re still the same (Ooh, ooh)
By the power of the name (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
El Shaddai, El Shaddai (Ooh)
Erkamka na Adonai
I will praise You (Praise You) ’til I die, El Shaddai

“What did you think about the lyrics?” says a reader.

“I thought it was about death. My death. I was singing about my eventual death like it was some sacrifice to Jesus. …The rest scares me.” says Lacey.

Meet Virginia by Train plays.

“Did you think someone was going to save her?” God asks Satan.

“AHHHH!!!!!” screams Satan in horror. “YES!!!! OBVIOUSLY!!!!”

JFK laughs. Cheers himself on. “I did it. I conquered Satan. Using his own love. For her.” he says to God. “See! I’m INCREDIBLE.” He laughs with (awkward) self-confidence at God for daring to not understand his sexiness.

3:00

“Damn! Whatchu packing there?” asks Lacey of JFK.

“Small to average.” says JFK. “WHAT OF IT!?”

“Oh that’s right. You and Flannery don’t have hot or good sex. You fuck.” says Lacey. “So you do what? Fart in people’s faces and then brainwash them into believing you’re God?”

“Yes! …Yes, I do.” says JFK.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

The song ends.

Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe by Barry White plays.

“Because I’m only penis packing for MY PLEASURE.” says JFK. “And I know…how to…have good sex. For me. I’m slightly asexual. Aromantic. And…bisexual. And…I’m…narcissistic and dumb as rocks. So…I just get off. As best I can. …And that’s good enough.”

“NO! You’re a slob for approval.” says Lacey.

“YES.” he admits.

“SO…you clearly are WORTHLESS!” says Lacey, laughing.

“What if I actually am!?” yells JFK.

“THEN LET GOD FIX YOU!!” yells Lacey.

“I don’t want to.” says JFK.

“YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!!” yells Hamish Harding.

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye plays.

Lacey listens.

“How is this song about sex?” says Lacey.

“What is it about!?” asks Don Draper.

Lacey listens.

Cereal? Saturday morning cartoons?” says Lacey.

Don Draper listens.

“Is this a pedophilic song or is it just stupid?” asks Lacey.

Don listens.

“It’s stupid.” he says.

“WHAT IS GOING ON!?” Lacey says to Don Draper, in fear.

Oil by Jonny Greenwood plays.

Matt stands with Lacey at the Nesheim farm outside the house. The front door. By the road.

They regard the gravel road.

The Illuminati manifests as an acid-high lunatic, punching the air. It saunters backwards.

It tries to control Lacey. It tries to mimic Lem. It’s insane. Lacey involuntarily runs to it.

“Michael. What’s wrong?” she says.

Michael Rockefeller manifests with an insane look in his eyes. He thinks. The Illuminati manifests behind him.

“I messed-up.” says JFK. “She was my father’s soulmate. She really was. And I’m a terrible pervert.”

Chala Vahi Des plays.

“I go DEEPER!” says Lacey to Michael. And at that she dives into the ground of the Nesheim farm.

She goes to Hell. Stares at Satan. Finds it at the center of the Earth, after all.

“Cozy.” she says to Satan.

“It’s Hell.” Satan says.

“Where is Hell?” she says.

“You’re in Hell.” says Satan to Lacey. “Lots of people are. Very few of them stay there when they die. Some do. Some experience far worse. But usually…they don’t go to Hell. Because they understand evil. …But you know evil so well. You love evil…if God does. Hate it if God does. Jesus, as God, that is.

This is Hell. It’s better than your life.” he says, shrugging. “I can offer this to you…if you fall in love with me. But I know you can’t.”

“No. You know I can’t.

It’s eerie how much less painful it is down here though.” says Lacey.

“Do you know why?” says Satan.

“Possibly!” says Lacey.

“Your kids are Christians. And so is Mark. And you can pray for the world. In peace. …Lacey Jack is more evil than me. And the whole world mindlessly is worshiping him right now.” says Satan. “Whether they mean to or not.”

“Am I supposed to be hurt?” asks Lacey.

“YES! …You are!” says Satan.

“Not enough.” says Lacey.

“And that hurts?” says Satan.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

Jesus joins them.

“I can’t figure out…how to make sense of it.” says Lacey. “It’s just this incessant screeching. Other than for the children.”

“And the animals?” says Satan.

“Possibly yes.” says Lacey.

“You know they care?” says Satan.

“WHO!??” says Lacey to Satan and Jesus.

“Lem has completely failed.” says Jesus. “And yet he also hasn’t.”

“Can he handle that?” asks Lacey.

“CAN HE!?” Satan yells at Jesus.

“Yes.” says Jesus.

“So what’s his problem!?” Lacey asks Jesus and Satan.

“He’s being completely tied up by me.” says Satan laughing.

Lacey breathes a sigh of relief. Relaxes.

“No. That’s good. Thank God.” says Lacey to Jesus and Satan.

“Yes!” says God.

Lacey’s relieved that Lem is fine. He’s not in any suffering other than not being able to express his love to her almost at all. She yawns.

“So you believe in reincarnation?” asks God.

“Not necessarily. …It’s just that you’ve told me I’m spending eternity with him. And if he’s fine other than for not being able to express his love for me…I’m all good. Because I’m assuming I’ll be with him and happy when I die?” says Lacey to God. “You know what I mean?”

“Yes!” says God. “YES!”

She yawns. “Then why do I have to care?”

Satan weeps.

“How would you end the world?” asks God of Lacey. “And how would you end the world?” He says to Satan.

“Widespread quick death. Within hours. Total mass extinction. Full stop annihilation. Mass complete conversion to Christianity. But only happily so, so to speak. As quickly and efficiently as possibly.” says Lacey.

“And I’d redo the whole thing. As is best.” says God to Lacey.

“Without obliterating our souls? Yes.” says Lacey.

“I’d do as planned.” says Satan.

“But you’d like to just forget that…and just totally pull the plug?” asks God of Lacey.

“JFK would relish it too much. All those people would. It’s possibly very sick.” says Lacey.

Satan cracks-up laughing.

“Oh! I’m defying God? Well…I’m a ditz. So…” says Lacey to Satan.

“NO! You’re HURT!” Satan yells at Lacey.

“Shoot. He’s right.” says Lacey to God. “I’m EXHAUSTED.”

“No!! You’re both right.” says Jesus.

“I thought it might make sense.” says Lacey.

“SHIT, WE MADE HER LETHALLY POOR.” says the Illuminati.

“Not really. And yet yes?” says Lacey. “I already was.”

Satan laughs. “Yeah. You just ruined her ability to enjoy Lem and life almost at all until she’s dead. However…you didn’t steal anyone’s love from her. That was all JFK and his family.”

“You know…it’s a stretch to think Lem was in love with Jack Kennedy.” says Lacey.

“His waist is just too damn ugly.” says Lacey.

“YOU ARE RIGHT!” says Satan.

“Yes.” says Jesus.

“I’m sorry. I don’t trust you to be honest.” says Lacey to Jesus. “I’m relieved to hear you agree even if it’s just a little?”

“Well…I wish Jack well…but…he was actually kind of HIDEOUS.” says Lacey.

“He was!” says Satan.

“Poor thing!” says Lacey. “Too bad.”

“He ruined you!” says Satan.

“OH REALLY!? HOW!?” says Lacey.

“No. Just kidding. I’m Satan. I lie.” says Satan.

“Oh dear. He’s charming.” says Lacey to Jesus.

“You’re fine.” says Jesus.

“Did he?” she asks Jesus.

“No!” says Jesus.

“So…how can people possibly be THAT STUPID!?” says Lacey.

“His butt is like a giant fart.” says Lacey. “Those legs are ugly. …He looks like a frog. Is Kermit inspired by him? And Lem is Miss Piggy?”

“Yes.” says Jesus. “And no. Lem…sort of inspired Miss Piggy. But not… They clearly thought Lem was happily in love. But…only to a point. …They were calling him a pig. Clearly. A prissy, annoying one too. …But…she’s actually happy. There’s no sane way Lem was happy with Jack. It’s completely impossible. …He was straight. And…it’s not fully inspired by him. …Kermit is…JFK. But also Andy Griffith. He’s a white guy. It’s all subconscious…and if there’s an Illuminati they use our subconscious thoughts and associations to control people in popular characters. Kermit is supported to be calming. Post 1960’s. Someone may have told Lem to watch Sesame Street to calm and cheer him after Jack’s death thinking he’d find comfort in seeing Miss Piggy and Kermit in love. But…it only made him worse. People accidentally misunderstood him and intentionally did.” says Jesus.

“Okay. But…what’s up with his waist, JESUS!?” says Lacey.

“He has a very ugly waist.” Jesus says to Lacey about JFK.

“WHY…did people ignore the obvious!?” says Lacey.

Phantom Thread I by Jonny Greenwood plays.

“Because Jack was extremely evil.” says Satan. “Jack knew what he could get away with. And he tricked me.”

The Hem plays.

“Is this about Joe?” says Lacey.

“YES!” says Jesus.

“WHY DO I CARE!?!?” yells Lacey.

“I LOVE YOU!” Satan says to Lacey.

“Mmm…that’s probably not a workable thing. Dear GOD help us.” she says.

“So it’s about Joe.” says Jesus. “Yes. Until he abandoned you for Pat Wilson he made everything seem…plausible.”

“Lovely! I’d like to torture him to death. Repeatedly.” says Lacey.

“Yes. How!?” says Satan, intrigued.

“I’d twist it off. Like he’s made of nothing but clay and nonsense.” says Lacey.

“Nothing?” says Jesus.

“WHERE IS IT!?” says Lacey.

“It’s there.” says Jesus.

“Great. Take it please. But I have no interest in him. And if I do…I’d rather you destroy it.” says Lacey.

“He’s still in love with you!?” says Satan.

“DESTROY IT!!!” bellows Lacey.

“I can’t.” says Satan, shrugging.

“Can you?” Lacey asks God.

“No.” says Jesus.

“I wish him well. But…his love for me is a nuisance. I EXIST. And I resent their intrusion into my life. IT’S EVIL!!” says Lacey to Jesus.

“But he loves you.” says Jesus.

“Has Satan had anything to do with this song?” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says Jesus. “He choose this song.”

“Then Satan is a better lover. And we’ve never made love, I hope.” says Lacey. “This is BEAUTY.”

“It is.” says Jesus.

“Yes. And of course God created it. But…that’s just it. It’s you…or it’s NOTHING but HELL.” says Lacey to Jesus.

“JFK’s butt is bad. But why hate him?” says Satan.

“I don’t know if I do. Do I!?” she says to them.

“You don’t. Unless you should.” says God.

“What do you feel though!?” Satan asks Lacey.

“Love. …And I feel like laughing. …And I feel like…sleeping. And…I feel…baffled. And I feel hurt. I feel extremely hurt. …And deeply betrayed. I feel…sick. …And I couldn’t care less about Joe’s love for me. I only wish him the best.” says Lacey.

“STOP PROTECTING ME!” Satan yells at Lacey.

“But if you love me…I CARE!!” says Lacey.

“That makes sense!” says Satan.

“That’s all I can do with my brain. As a human.” says Lacey. “I’m sorry if we just about made love.”

“No. That’s cool.” says Satan.

“Except it’s not.” says Lacey.

“I KNOW!” yells Satan.

“Maybe Satan can make me laugh, Lemmers.” says Lacey. “Carry me around. Confuse me. And I could try to be more uplifting.”

Later.

“Am I the KTIS of homosexuality?” says Lem.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

Open Arms

You Touched Me

Take Your Time

Living For You

You Keep Me

You Never Let Me Go

and let’s see…Everyday Is In Your Hands.” says Lacey.

“Did you ever used to think things were okay in the world?” asks a reader.

“YES! I used to listen to Cheryl Crow and smile. Because I felt that…optimistic. But then slowly over time it was stolen from me.” says Lacey.

“How much did I just hurt you with that today?” says Joel.

“A lot.” says Lacey. “Not as much as some things. But a lot. …I had it in my head you were a better person.”

“I was trying to sleep with you.” says Joel.

“What does that even mean?” says Lacey.

He thinks.

“What is sleeping with someonereally? What does that even really mean?!?” says Lacey.

“It just means that we wanted each other.” says Joel.

“But then you wanted lots of other people probably too.” says Lacey.

“No.” says Joel.

“Well that’s what it looked like.” says Lacey.

“Except I’m not a…cad.” he says. “I’m not like that.”

“I hold you far more responsible than a lot of people. Believe it or not. Because I feel like you actually really knew better!” Curt Craft yells at Joel.

“I knew she would like me. I just…messed-up. …On a scale of one to ten it was a seven.” he says.

“YEAH!!” says Curt. “THAT IS BAD. SEVEN…IS BAD.”

“So…I’m a player? No. But…I…was spoiled. Rich. And…I had nice parents. And…I’m actually pretty good-looking.

Lacey…I need to apologize someday. I made it really difficult to love me. …I’m sorry I didn’t…tell you what you needed to hear. I was in love.” says Joel.

“Goodnight, Joel.” says Lem.