Lacey considers hyper analyzing Lem to explain his heterosexuality. But realizes she’s tried. And people aren’t really cognitively capable of thinking that way or choose not to be.
So instead she’ll just “channel” a conversation. And she hopes you can imagine his face as she writes.
She smiles.
(Adult content below)
Phantom Thread II plays.
Lacey enters Lem’s apartment. She’s there with Eunice. Eunice is trying to be friends with Lauren Bacall. And Lauren Bacall is good friends with Lacey. Lacey Banks.
Lacey…walks into the room. Sits down on his sofa.
“Can I get you a tea?!” says Lem, very much in gay voice.
He looks her in the eyes. She finds him instantly arousing. But out of embarrassment she hides it.
She blinks profusely. Closes her eyes for too long.
And when she opens them she’s in charge, or so she partially assumes.
“So…you’re offering me tea?” she says.
He looks startled. Drops his gay manner momentarily.
They all sit in awkward silence.
“Ahh…yes.” he says, sounding straight, albeit concerned.
“WHY!?” says Lacey in a sincere, desperate whisper.
His eyes light on fire with intensity.
“YOU MAN!” says Lacey, almost involuntarily.
His mouth drops open. Then he laughs, luridly and with some guilt.
“I would love some tea!” she says in an almost British accent.
He looks grim. Serious. Rises up to go make tea. Seems sad as he makes tea.
Lacey feels bad, but doesn’t know why. Remains quiet.
2:33
When he brings the tea back in he sets it on a table between them. She reaches over and holds a saucer and teacup filled with tea and milk. She sips it slowly. It’s oddly like a mixture of coffee and tea. She pauses. Thinks.
Looks at him.
He’s talking with Lauren Bacall. She stands up and goes into the kitchen and dumps it into the sink.
Then she walks back in and opens the teapot and smells it. Right in front of everyone.
Lauren looks up at her.
Lem looks up her finally. Squints. Puckers his lips.
It smells like coffee and tea.
“Do you cook often?” she asks Lem, with intentionally humorous sincerity.
He looks sad. Grey. Shakes. Almost looks like he could cry. Stares at the ground.
“Well?” says Lacey.
He laughs. Closes his eyes.
“Shall I give it to the cat?” says Lacey.
He looks up at her sharply. Then stands up and gets in her face. She glares into his eyes. He touches her nose with his. “WHY ARE YOU HERE?” he says.
She thinks. “Dear GOD! Just make a cup of tea.” she says.
He backs away in a fog and sits down.
“Are you dead?” she says, sarcastically.
He smiles.
She waits.
He stares off into the distance.
“Who’s there?” she says.
His face drops.
“YOU MAKE THE TEA!!” he yells at her, still staring off, in an almost British accent, seemingly angry.
Catch Hold plays.
“Will you still be here when I return? Or will you have faded into the ether in the hallway?” she says.
“Oh I’m not going anywhere!” he says, suddenly almost very sweetly.
“Dammit. You’re complicated.” she says, bouncing into the kitchen.
She starts trying to make tea. Struggles to find tea. Finds three unopened bags. Starts making it.
Stands there leaning against his counter. Crossing her legs at the ankles. Arms crossed. Just waiting.
She just stands there listening. Taking in his kitchen. Analyzing everything.
He grows quiet in the other room.
He gets up to check on her. Walks around the corner very slowly.
“Oh!” she says, startled slightly.
He laughs a bit. Saunters up to her. Looks into her face. Smiling.
Flustered, she blinks.
He grins slightly.
He pats her arm with his hand. Smiles at her, kindly.
She waits.
“Your tea is better than mine.” he says.
The kettle whistles. She takes it off of the stove. Places it on a tray.
She turns around and he’s standing there staring at her. In her eyes. Aggressively.
She looks shocked. Blinks. Flustered, she just stands there with her eyes closed, breathing.
He smiles. Softens. “So you…teach?” he says.
“Teach?” she says, eyes still closed.
And at that he gives in and pushes her against the oven and begins making love to her. They kiss. “Oh my god, we’re going to make love.” he says in awe and with some panic.
She pauses.
He backs away, smiling awkwardly and laughing. Then he pauses. Looks flummoxed. Looks shocked. Covers his mouth.
“Are you from around here?” he says.
“No!” says Lacey.
“Let’s…make love!” he says.
She waits. Startled.
“Go get in my bed and get undressed.” Lem says suddenly. Awkwardly.
Lacey goes to his room, gets undressed.
“I have a phone call to make.” says Lem as he races by.
“Oh. Alright.” says Lauren.
Lacey waits.
“How did you know I wanted you so badly?
You must sleep with lots of guys, huh?” says Lem as he lays on top of her.
“No! Not really.
Did I give you that impression?” says Lacey.
“Yes!” he says a little too loudly.
“Oh no! You misunderstood!” she says.
“This isn’t an affair! …I’m in love.” he says.
“You’ll have to excuse me. I’m not a tramp.” says Lacey. “I’m offended. But I’m not getting up.”
“Let’s make love.” he says.
And so they do.
“ she really isn’t channeling me like a witch a lot of which is listening got very confused during that because they genuinely don’t understand what’s going on. That being said, they also probably can’t believe that we would’ve had sex quite that quickly if there’s reincarnation, that’s embarrassing to them. If there’s not reincarnations, it is shocking, but we were a very different generation than you might think and that actually is what would’ve happened.” says Lem. “ she’s replayed that many times in many different ways and the same thing always happens that’s just who we are.”
Keen to Cross the Pond 
You must be logged in to post a comment.