One of Lacey’s haters: This doesn’t work. You’re supposed to reject me.
But…I rejected you. And then…you blocked me on Instagram. And I don’t think you have any idea who I even am anymore.
Sweetie…you’re one of the “pretty” girls.
Lacey: What are those?
One of Lacey’s haters: They are…the mean girls. But younger.
Lacey: You know…the mother who raised me…is the one who hid that from me. I think I was starting to figure that out…and then she decided to end that.
Huh.
It wasn’t to make me straight. I think…it was to make sure I wasn’t mean.
A hater of Lacey’s: She was…into health food in the 1970’s?
Lacey: Yes.
A hater of Lacey’s: Yeah.
Lacey: Do people assume I am one?
A hater of Lacey’s: No. You just are one.
Lacey: I’ve not had that experience. Not really.
Huh.
So…there’s A TON I don’t know. Because that’s not my experience.
Another hater: You were raised as a nerd.
Huh.
And the other nerds accepted you…because they assumed you were a lesbian.
Lacey: I didn’t know that. They were fun.
Yet Another hater: Did the pretty girls accept you?
Lacey: They started to several times. But my mom who raised me always put an end to it.
A hater: Wow.
That’s…bad.
Lacey: How?
A hater: Because…-
What happened?
Lacey: She’d dress me oddly. Or say something about their family being a bad influence. …I don’t know, she just did…
A hater: Did Matt experience that?
Matt: Yes.
It was…uncool to be “cool” in our family.
A hater: Was it to close ranks?
Matt: *smiles*
No…but there was fear involved. They loved their home in Norway. Still do.
Yet another hater: But…now we have no idea who she is. We’re lost.
This isn’t Norway.
Not that Norway isn’t cool. But…who even are you? You know?
Matt: We’re Christians.
We’re, hopefully, kind.
We’re…tough.
According to Lacey we’re old money. But, maybe that’s true. She is smart.
That’s not enough?
A hater: Not for her.
She’s one of them, in the females. And…even at 43 it’s uncomfortable. Because she’s not making sense.
She’s doing what?
Lacey: Just living?
A hater: Yeah. But…you’re one of them.
Lacey: Well…-
Huh.
A hater: That’s a nice house.
Lacey: It is!
A hater: It’s not a castle.
Lacey: *Thinks*
A castle?
A hater: *Laughs*
*Eats potato chips*
Lacey: I’m-
Castle.
A hater: YES!
Lacey: You’ve never seen a castle in person?
A hater: *Thinks*
No.
Lacey: Yeah!!!
No!!! It’s definitely not a castle.
A hater: No.
I don’t mean a literal castle.
Lacey: Then what else would you mean?
A hater: *Thinks*
Don’t think about that much. I don’t mean to discuss an actual castle.
Lacey: *panics*
WHAT…-
OH MY.
But you’re using the word castle. You used the word castle!!!
A hater: I meant like a castle.
Lacey: People used to add the word like. It’s like a castle. Why did they stop doing that!?
A hater: Fair point!
Lacey: You were trying to insult me?
A hater: *Thinks*
Yeah.
Lacey: *Thinks*
No. It’s not like a castle.
A hater: It’s a big house?
Lacey: *exhales in exasperation*
What’s a big house to you?
A hater: Oops.
Umm…-
How big is it?
Lacey: 2,500? 2,600?
A hater: That’s big.
Lacey: Well..it depends on how you look at it.
A hater: Yeah.
To me that’s big.
Lacey: It isn’t to everyone.
But…I think calling it small would be wrong.
A hater: SHIT!!!
SHITT!!!!
*They suddenly seem to realize something. And then they run away.*
Lacey: What was that about?
Lem: They were processing everything you were saying. And they realized you were…not who they had assumed you were.
I’m sorry you’re not with me in the same exact place. This is sick.
A Christian: Lem are you in Heaven?
Lem: It’s not Heaven as it’s popularly understood, at the moment. So I can’t say yes. But I’d like to. Because…it basically is? I can talk to God whenever I want. Just like that. *He snaps his fingers*
A Christian: I’m sorry we defiled your legacy.
Lem: *sighs*
Yeah.
And I’m sorry. I left- I made horrific mistakes.
*Later*
Lacey: What did you say?
A hater: Why did you choose to tell everyone you were old money.
Lacey: Because I am.
A hater: Yeah, but that’s too much.
Lacey: No it’s not.
A hater: NO! It really is.
Lacey: *Smirks*
No. It’s not.
A hater: Would Lem ever be confused about this?
God: No.
But you’d never be as mean to him.
Lacey: Why is it so much?
A hater: People can’t handle it.
Lacey: *Rolls eyes*
A hater: NO!! YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO.
We CANNOT handle it…at all.
Lacey: Why?
A hater: Because…it’s just too sad.
Lacey: You really want to be old money that badly?
A hater: *Thinks*
Okay. Maybe not for real.
But…it looks…nice.
You make it look nice!
Lacey: Huh.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s silly.
A hater: No!! It’s not.
Lacey: Mmm-
A hater: No. I mean from the outside. I do not mean…actual old money.
Lacey: Does the reality of it fascinate you at all?
A hater: Yes and no.
Lacey: Why no?
A hater: Because it’s…probably sad. And disturbing.
Lacey: *Thinks*
I thought people were fascinated by sad and disturbing?
A hater: Yes…as long as it’s entertaining. This feels…way too…sad.
Lacey: Well, I don’t think there was much else I could have said.
*She shrugs*
I’m just glad I left the perfume community when I had a chance.
A hater: Okay! Okay…what was so toxic about it!?
Lacey: People were…just…really mean. Like obsessively mean. Obviously not just to me.
A hater: Yeah.
What do you think was causing it?
Lacey: Wow.
Well…-
I’ll have to get back this later. Do you mind?
A hater: No!
*Later*
A hater in Pennsylvania: Did you hide your prosperity? Before you “came out” as old money?
Lem: YES!!!
She’s not going to be able to explain. That’s just not her.
But yes! OBVIOUSLY.
Casi: Why?
Lem: She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. No! I’m serious. She really is that good of a person.
*Later*
A reader: I think…you made Casi…feel…poor. Like, she already felt poor, but you made her feel like she was dirt.
Lacey: Why? Because she’s not old money?
*Lacey rolls her eyes*
A reader: No. Because you sounded…like you thought she was a complete idiot. Like, a total loser.
Lacey: Huh.
How so?
A reader: Because…-
You made it seem like the people who were competing with you were a complete joke in your head.
Lacey: A joke how?
A reader: No.
Dammit.
*She thinks*
No. Just…I think she has low self-esteem. And it just…made her feel worse.
Lacey: *Thinks*
That makes sense of what she said.
Huh.
No one has ever explained this to me.
*Thinks*
Why…did it affect her that way?
*She looks confused*
A reader: *Thinks*
Another reader: It seemed to you like she genuinely thought you were absolutely worthless shit.
Lacey: YES!
And I’m not…crazy.
I’m listening to this, but I also think she’s been manipulative and turned the tables out of…spite. I think she’s an arrogant, DELUSIONAL fool. Who’s INSANELY in love with herself. And…that I didn’t truly hurt her. I just made her wonder for five seconds if she’s not God. And it REALLY made her mad.
A reader: I worry you’re right.
But…I’m also worried she’s actually the person I’m describing.
Do you understand that psychology? Like of the sort of person she would be.
Lacey: Not necessarily.
Can you please explain more?
A reader: Yes.
Okay. Did you hear how Jack Schlossberg lost?
Lacey: Yes.
A reader: Would you ever make that mistake or would anyone in your family?
Lacey: The Nesheims?
A reader: Yes.
Lacey: *Thinks*
Not…easily. It’s not impossible, but not easily.
A reader: Yeah.
So…you’re old money. The Kennedys are not. And…you’re aware what a fool he’s made of himself?
Lacey: Yes.
A reader: Casi…is that. She’s those people.
And…they make fools of-
Lem: STOP.
They’re narcissistic.
Are you trying to say Casi is narcissistic?
A reader: *Thinks*
No, so…she is. But…that’s not what I meant.
…She’s…-
She’s embarrassed herself.
Lacey: Then she shouldn’t have been a weirdo.
A reader: True.
So…I’m just beginning to realize that you’re so not a bitch, that you have no idea what we’re mad about at all. …Do you see her as any less of a person now?
Lacey: Yes!
She’s…potentially a total psychopath, in my opinion.
A reader: That makes complete sense.
Okay.
So…from our perspective, and obviously I’m not old money, you seemed heartless. Because…we’re trying to seem important and impressive. So…you essentially saying that you just are…felt…cruel.
But…I guess you had to say it. And actually, it is weird we can’t just accept that. We just aren’t you.
But…that’s just it. …What do we have?
Okay!?
Like…we’re putting ourselves out there. Trying. It’s work. …What the hell are we supposed to take from you…saying that?
Lacey: *Thinks*
I didn’t realize you’d all care that much.
See…the Illuminati stole that from me. Out of spite. For being new money. And to try to humiliate me. They literally just copied my personal aesthetic. I started the old money aesthetic without consent. …I said I was old money…over ten years ago. That was before the aesthetic. I didn’t know…anyone would care that much.
A reader: So she was being a bitch. And bragging endlessly about going to Notre Dame. Being a total loser. And you said, “Look, I went to Oxford. Suck it.”
Lacey: YES!
A reader: Yeah. That’s not that mean. It’s more like she just picked a fight with the wrong person.
Lacey: DUH!!
A reader: People have been way too excited to hate you.
Lacey: Indeed.
A reader: Okay.
I genuinely feel like I’m understanding your point.
I just don’t think you get why it was so hard to hear.
*She thinks*
Lem: I don’t get it either.
My father lost our inheritance. But I came from old money.
And I could ask God…but I prefer not to. I want her to be mine.
I refuse to cheat at it.
Can you try to explain more?
A reader: So you all genuinely do not get it?
Lou: YEAH!
And no, you seem more lacking in empathy than any of us are. Truly.
If you’re so kind? EXPLAIN!
Just explain!
A reader: We’re imaging your…rejection.
Lou: She rejected people’s absurd claims and horrible bullshit. Does that bother you?
A reader: *Laughs*
OKAY!
But then…-
See…”we” clearly did have a problem. Because…they kept assuming she knew something about the situation that she had no way of knowing, unless she was a liar.
DAMMIT.
You’ve got me.
SHIT!!!
*She laughs*
We all are the problem. All of the mediocre bitches in the perfume community who spend…WAY too much on perfume.
Fine.
Lou: What did she feel?
A reader: Even if she was…a freak narcissist. Like…lowkey insane. …She-
Lem. I’m going to let myself get crazy.
Let’s say you and Lacey go…to an elite country club. And you manifest. Because they make you manifest. Right? …I’m guessing that that’s where you all go….after blocking people like Casi. You just…run off in an old Mercedes to a country club and sip gin?
Am I right?
Lou: She orders Filet Mignon. If she’s really sad. Sure.
Go on?
A reader: After Casi was blocked…she walked into an old bathroom. Wiped her face on an old towel. And drank milk from a…jam jar.
Granted…she was in the wrong.
But…-
*She thinks*
What do you make of this?
Lou: I’m waiting for your point.
A reader: It’s that…we’re pathetic?
Lou: So you feel pathetic?
A reader: Yes.
Yet another reader: Did you even mean it in such mean way?
Lacey: No!
It was more like…if you’re vain or shallow enough to care that much…that’s your problem.
A reader: YES!
But…-
*she thinks*
*Later*
She’s just not the same. Casi. A lot of people aren’t.
I think…they took it the wrong way. Partially because they wanted to avoid being accountable.
But also…they felt…stupid.
I just can’t think of a better way to describe it. They felt stupid.
Lou: Then why attack Lacey? Ever think of that?
A reader: Yeah, okay.
Are we being dumb?
Lem: *Nods yes*
Lacey and I get what you mean…but then we lose your point. So does Lou.
Okay…so…you feel dumb. That’s sad. But…you all brought it on yourselves!
Doesn’t it make sense just to let it go!?
Lacey: YES!!!
I mean…why sulk for A DECADE?
A reader: Over what?
Lacey: Ahh…being told you’re not actually going to marry Jonathan Taylor Thomas, even though you DID get his autograph.
A reader: That’s how dumb this looks?
Lou: Yeah.
I mean…did you all seriously believe that we were fooled into thinking you were real? You’re all that clueless?
COME ON!!
*He laughs*
I’d believe you’re wealthier than you are, but-
A reader: So…what’s the point in being so weird about it?
Lem: YES!
She thought you were…better off than you are. But…she’s old money. It actually is genuinely VERY hard to TRULY compare. Even men in the Middle East with great wealth aren’t actually as…socially great. There’s a real pecking order in the world. And we didn’t create it. It evolved.
What actually is everyone’s problem?
A reader: *Thinks*
Umm-
It just hurt. …It just hurt.
Lou: WE CLEARLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
Can you TRY to at least comprehend that?
A reader: Okay. But the idea is that she’s a loser. And so are we.
Lacey: Well why can’t you just be happy for me? Why be so toxic and jealous?
Maybe you all are just asshole losers?
A reader: Yeah.
Honestly, I think our self-esteem was too low to handle hearing that much truth.
*she shrugs*
Lacey: *Nods*
A perfume collector: We just couldn’t take it, dude.
Lacey: *Thinks*
I shouldn’t have joined the community. Or I shouldn’t have given my identity.
I certainly wasn’t trying to make anyone hate themselves. Maybe feel convicted. Like…wish they’d be a better person. But…not…hate themselves.
