Author Archives: L.

0:33 of Summer Overture by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays. And the song plays on from there.

“Honestly I’m not in control of this right now. I’ve been mostly watching for a while and I’m getting lost. I’ve been manipulating them controlling them and harming them for like centuries and even I’m getting a little lost. I’ve gotta be real with you.” says Satan to God.

“Let’s just-let’s just talk.

I have a feeling that JD is really trying to fight with Matthew right now. It is not something that Lacey has anything to do with if all of this is real so I’m just curious and am trusting that God could be using Lacey to make you tell the truth…umm…are you confused by it like the relationship between Lacey in Lem or no?” asks Jerry Seinfeld of Satan.

“No they’re really what you would call a twin flame. So they’re together for eternity.” says Satan.

“What are you mostly confused by right now?” says Jerry Seinfeld.

“JD was a Christian.

I thought I was pretty sure it was sincere at some point. It seemed pretty sincere. So like I can’t 100% guarantee it but it was pretty certain and I’ve never seen someone be this way who’s ever had Jesus in their heart towards another Christian. OK that’s a lie I possibly have seen it. I possibly have seen it but it’s very rare.” says Satan to Jerry Seinfeld.

“What is he doing that is so different?” says Jerry Seinfeld.

“He seems like a very dark, incredibly demon possessed person who is almost like a psychopath who would go around murdering people. That’s the psychology of a murdering psychopath who is like demon possessed. Like in the film No Country For Old Men. That’s what he’s acting like. that’s his psychology right now and it scares me because I’ve never seen someone be that evil who’s like him. Why would that scare me? Because when stuff like that happens it makes me wonder if it’s the end. Read some Christian theology…umm…because he’s not supposed to be that dark. I don’t know where it came from necessarily. I have theories, but I don’t have a great lead on where that incredible darkness came from and umm…he could’ve-he could’ve had some psychopathic traits his whole life that he’s just kept hidden but he’s been very deceptive if that’s true…umm…to the point where even I have a hard time completely seeing it…Lacey suspects it has something to do with some kind of like his mother? That he’s a drug addict but that- And that’s why he goes around accusing people of being drug addicts all of the time because he’s kind of like his mom but he doesn’t understand that part of himself. At least that’s Lacey‘s theory that he’s kind of like his mother.

See she was into hard-core heavy drugs, and before it was popular in the way, and I wonder if that’s part of his make-up of his mind, and I wonder if money is like heroin for him, and power is like heroin for him and so he’s kind of got to fix himself constantly in terms of his sense of authority and power and prestige and that’s where I get lost though because then why is he attacking her? You could argue that a lot of people have that problem but then a lot of those people just ignore her or work with her. I don’t quite understand why he’s attacking Lacey, that was a very weird decision that night, if there’s telepathy, the night of the debate. He just went like loco on her ass and I don’t understand where the fuck that came from. I really don’t. It could’ve been from Jack and it could’ve been some-

He could he- OK this is another theory that I just came up with that he could be being possessed by some dead Asian overlord and umm because of agreements that he’s made in his spirit it’s possible that he’s being possessed by both a dead Asian tyrant and a demon. So what do you guys think of that theory? It also dovetails really well with her theory that he’s just after money and prestige.” says Satan.

“Oh my gosh this blog makes so much sense right now. It’s really shitty the way she writes. I am so much better at writing and it never sounds real and the most stupid thing is she clearly believes it…but I’m starting to wonder if she’s talking to the daemonic or maybe some deep-by ghost or something. I don’t know because I feel like there’s something spiritual about that, and it’s really hard for me to imagine her having a brain…but maybe she has been kind of smart on occasion and that works? Too bad it’s just so shitty everywhere.” say (many) Messiah College students.

“I am the Messiah College students!” says JD Vance being held down by JFK who’s laughing at him, for fun. ‘I am not JD Vance. Oh whoops- I’m not supposed to say that!’

Too bad.” says JFK.

“You know your problem JD is that you’re like 100%- No like 1,000,000,000% convinced that she’s desperately desiring you. And Usha is convinced of that too. You remind me of Chris Hayes and his wife. You guys are like super convinced that she’s like so aroused by you that she’s losing her mind and would have like a hard-on if she was a guy.” says an Illuminati witch.

“Like-like a rock! Like you guys are so certain of that that it’s honestly-“ says JFK.

“It’s embarrassing, but you tell yourself that it’s not because you’re elite and that it’s real because we’ve coached you to trust yourself a little too much JD.” says an Illuminati witch.

“Umm…I think you misunderstood her compliment to you. She said you were attractive sweetie. She never said that she wanted to sleep with you. She said she could but she didn’t say that she wanted to.” a dead Greatest Generation man says to JD Vance.

“Yeah you’re not getting away that quickly.” says Lacey to JD.

“Lem says we should talk.” says Matthew.

“Yeah. I’m…a-“ says JD. But then he blows off Matthew.

“We’re waiting. Not you.” says Matthew.

“J. D. STOP!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior. “You’re being rude.”

“I’m so sick of these assholes!” yells JD Vance.

“Oh dear this is not going well!” says a reader, imagining themselves as a servant in Downton Abbey. They rush off, in a wave of shock and disappointment and worry and actually…some excitement. Why excitement? Because it’s entertaining.

You know? One of those smart servants on Downton Abbey. Who had secret personal lives. And were complex. And fascinating. Just…smart.

Anyway…

“Welp.” says Prof. Lucy. B, in the afterlife. “I’ll play the servant please…for reasons that are between me and God.

So…I don’t get the sense that- Oh- Oh, okay. So…you don’t wanna talk to me either?” she says to JD Vance.

“No, he was going to talk to you, but then Lacey misunderstood him.” says Usha.

“OK, sure.” says Lucy. B (patronizingly).

“So if I had a title of some sort you’d take me seriously?” says Matthew to JD.

“Ahh…yeah, I would.” says JD.

“I have a feeling I had a higher rank than you in the military, but Lacey doesn’t know that for sure so we’re not gonna go with that…but just imagine that I did. A far superior ranking to yours and I did service that would make you look like a little sissy piece of fucking shit.

Given that premise why don’t you explain to me given that you seem like a white-trash hoe-bag who bends over backwards for any jackass, what is that your fucking problem is with my family.”

Lucy laughs.

“You know we’re hiding from you the fact that we’re trying not to be too harsh on you because you’re poor and we could probably genuinely scare you shitless, JD.

See…Casi‘s family is ahh…different. They’re a different sort of poor. They maybe have never had money in their lineage and so they have no idea what that even means to be that wealthy they’ve always just been middle class or poor or she’s reincarnated and she’s a little bit irresponsible with what she understands in her spirit or I don’t know what…but it just seems like we could totally crush you…and I’m not really trying to crush you…but you’re a problem potentially, and I don’t like those sort of problems.” says Nils Nesheim.

A group of dead Democrats in Purgatory give a hand clap for the Trump campaign. As they believe it’s done. JD screwed it up.

“Hey! It’s not over yet!” yells Patience.

Lacey begins to doze off.

Louis cracks-up laughing.

Lacey laughs at herself with him.

Lem looks sad.

“Lem we just see ourselves as lovable, fairly intelligent idiots at times.” says Louis to explain.

Lem weeps. Excuses himself with Lacey, in misery.

They return with ice cream.

“ hey so um I am a servant to that used to work for Lacey. If there’s ring carnation JD your wife’s attitude is the problem Lacey doesn’t have an English word to used to describe the inappropriate inappropriate Ness of your demeanor. It’s very hard for you to think of a way to describe it, if there’s a ring carnation, and even if there’s not, this is still applicable, they’re not trying to belittle you or degrade you. It’s not what Casi suggested that’s very evil and disrespectful. It is actually an attempt to try to prevent something very evil from happening and she’s not consciously aware what it would be, but she’s protecting herself and her family and since you as well which makes me wonder if you people are actually quite evil what is it that you keep returning to in your mind that enables you to be so self-righteous about your evil?“ says a dead woman.

“ I should go back to editing, but I did editing last night shit I can’t fucking figure out what’s going on Louis.” says Lacey.

“ You were desperately trying to figure something out for real.” says Lem to Lacey.

“So!?!?” says the dead woman.

“What were you and Casi doing online?” says JD Vance.

“On behalf of whom do you ask?” says the dead servant.

“On behalf of themselves.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, suspiciously.

Later.

Summer Overture by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

“The gloves are coming off.

I’m gonna rip people’s heads off.

Would you like me to make your blood into a vial, make you drink it or send it to a child to have them wash their hands in after they fuck your kids in their imagination.

I’m sorry you guys are such fucking idiots.

JD where did you go to school again?” says Lacey.

“They’re like a bully coven. And you’re right you describe them as like a bullshit middle-class bully coven, full of jackass, new money bitches.” says a perfume collector.

“You know you sound kinda like you’re imitating me. Is that a compliment or an insult? I don’t have time for pettiness right now.” says Lacey.

“Just fuck it!

I’ll just answer my fucking question.

Actually JD let’s just start all over again and I’m gonna nail you down spiritually and force you to answer, which will be fun for you because I’m an incredibly good-looking man.” says Matthew Nesheim.