Author Archives: L.

(July 29th, 2024 – Evening)

How did the Nesheims make their money? Well…there’s the oil that started in 2008. They feel comfortable with that because it’s a necessary evil, in a way.

But what pre-dates the oil?

“Lacey! Would you have dated Lem? …In the 1930’s. Like…if you two had been created gay men. Would you have dated him?” asks Kiki Astor, in the future.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“How open would you have been?” she says.

“As open as was safe.” says Lacey.

“Presuming God creates homosexuals.” says Joel Osteen, not the Joel who Lacey almost dated.

“Yeah.” says Kiki. “So…what if your father raised you not to?”

“I’d run off.” says Lacey. “Like Sebastian Flyte.”

Okay. So…

The thing is…I was straight. I am straight.

Where did the Nesheim money come from?

“Me!” says Gunhild. “I had a great sense of land. I took my time looking around and so did Nils and we specifically went for the land we did based on our gut and analysis.”

“So hard work. Bravery. And the conquering of the Wild West. …And no, I don’t mean Native Americans. I mean the weather.” says Nils.

“Yeah!” says a Native American woman.

“We almost died many times.” says Nils.

“Yeah. But how rich were you before you and your kids invested in the Stock Market?” asks a man.

“We were millionaires, essentially. But we didn’t have quite as much.” says Nils.

“So! Land. Hard work. Intelligence. And saavy investments?” says a reader.

“Yes!” says Nils.

“Oh my God! Diego was nuts.” says a reader. “Dude…not all Old Money is…that rich.”

“Like the Rockefellers?” says someone.

“Yes.” says Nancy. “I’ve realized that.”

“So you invested in like…Boeings in the 1950’s. And what else?” says the CIA.

“Possibly 3M.” says Nils.

“Okay.” says Casi.

“What else!??” says a Republican.

“That’s all I’ll share for now.” says Nils.

Were any of those companies evil? No. Not really. No more than almost anything.

“Do you have any dirty money?” says the CIA.

“Well I feel bad about the racial injustice. …I stole land in a way. …But let’s just say that wasn’t my heart intent. Really!

…Other than that…not much.” says Nils.

“So your $100 million in 2017 is clean money. Like truly clean Old Money.” says a liberal. She closes her eyes and rubs her head. “Who’s idea was this? To attack her?”

“Diego.” says Chris, sadly.

“WHY!?” says the woman.

“He was…struggling.” says Chris.

“ i’m just curious because it’s sad to me that you guys are like not white trash I think so people might think you are because they don’t really understand what real white trash is compared to whatever it is that people are in North Dakota so just to help illuminate things a little bit in a good way Casi what like? What would know like I’m sorry wrong person. What would Casi‘s life have been like or what would she be like if she’s been raised in the Nesheim family?” says Rashida Jones.

“ who is she being raised by?” says Pat.

“You.” says the CIA.

“ we would’ve had a very difficult time getting along when she was a teenager I would’ve had her in and out of psychologists who would’ve been constantly analyzing her, and we would have a very good idea of every possible thing that could be wrong with her psychologically and the entire family would know it’ll be a very open discussion if she didn’t end up this and I’m being honest with you if she was adopted if she’s a sociopath or a narcissist and it’s genetic, she’d probably be homeless somewhere the kids in our family who have severe psychological problems have not done well when they’re adopted unless if they’re like Lacey, I think she could be, but she’s not like that she’s not got severe psychological problems. She’s had depression but I would say if anything we’ve been harmful to her I’m talking about kids that I’m sorry, but came from families that were poor who have serious psychological issues. I don’t know what you want me to say I’m being honest with you.” says Pat.

Ann Coulter laughs.

“ i’m not trying to be heartless.” says Pat.

“Go on!” says a Rothschild.

“ I know what you’re thinking because I’m saying this from the afterlife possibly yes if Lacey is illegitimate, she may have been better off being raised by Jews or would she because she is Norwegian and we are different or you know we just star but you’re free to your opinion there there are there are a lot of people though in our family who have been taken from poverty who have psychological problems Casi who really are not doing well they’re homeless or they’re in some sort of facility or theater behind bars I have a nephew who’s done incredibly well who is adopted? He’s very successful, Lacey if she’s adopted has done well, she’s well off but I don’t think it’s been easy for her. Her mother wasn’t poor though her mother was oh at least middle-class and no I was not actually thinking of Lacey when I said this, but now she doesn’t really fit into that if she even is diligent, and that she might not be right, but if she is no, she doesn’t quite fit what I was saying, and neither does my nephew, one of my nephews but the kids that came from poverty who have psychological problems have not done well, so if you have something wrong with you like clinical narcissism to be honest, you’d probably be in a show you’d probably be somewhere awful you’d probably be in a gutter somewhere after I would’ve tried to raise you I would’ve tried to love you as best as I can but it just doesn’t seem to work out. It’s not that I would have cared about you. It’s not that I wouldn’t have loved you, but it just wouldn’t have works and you’d probably have ended up rebelling against me and hating our whole family and living somewhere in a some horrible situation, so do you have clinical narcissism Casi is there something wrong with you or not?” says Pat.

“ I might be a clinical, narcissist slightly.” says Casi.

“ the no, you would not have done well if you were a total psychopath with a charming personality you might have but as a clinical narcissist, no is it was for this way if you were born into the family as a clinical narcissist, you might’ve been OK if you were born into our family as a psychopath you might’ve been fine as a clinical narcissist who wasn’t born into our family know you probably would be in a horrible place, so I guess you’re lucky you weren’t raised by us then, huh?” says Pat.

“ what did you guys do to screw Lacey up?” says Joel from UND.

“ Her mother can’t answer right now, I’ll answer for her mother. Her mother was extraordinarily anti-dating for evil reasons for religious reasons she raise Lacey this is the quickest thing I can say she raise Lacey not to date, but to be looking for this perfect person, and if she had been raised to be more of a dater, she probably would’ve gone on a date with you just for the experience just to go on a date, so that’s one thing that her parents messed up on was giving her this excruciatingly complex idea who it was that she was looking for the irony is that given Lacey‘s heart and how much she takes things to heart she really ran with it right I’m sorry if Kiki asked her maybe laughing right now because she might find this part. Hilarious if God is allowed Lacey to be with them Because Lacey took it so seriously yeah essentially at this point at you know in her late 30s at 40 she’s with her eternal other half before she’s even dead because she was that heartfelt and fervent in her search for her husband and there was that much of a lack, and there was not much working against her That know at this point, it’s like she is if God is allowed it wedded to a dead man who she’s with for eternity but that’s how intense Lacey took it. Lacey is already a pretty serious person very heartfelt very loving him. Passionate doesn’t describe it because it’s not quite like that. It’s very fervent and so no she took extra extraordinarily seriously and she she is now with Lem.” says Mark Nesheim.

“ what about me? I don’t think I’m a clinical narcissist. I might be narcissistic even have some narcissistic traits, but I don’t think I’m a clinical narcissist. How would my life have been different?” says Susanne.

“ you’d have to be younger or if you were to try to think of who could’ve had you OK yeah if Gudrun had had you as her daughter and raised you in Seattle you probably would’ve gotten really into fashion and went to California possibly Los Angeles in the 60s or 70s or 80s and tried to break into the fashion world I don’t think you would’ve had a drug problem. You would’ve been raised by us and so you wouldn’t have probably done that but you probably would have become very hardened by what you saw you would’ve probably married someone very wealthy some I don’t know some tax person or something, someone who is starting some company somewhere in California and you’d probably be very involved in charity right now probably occasionally hobnobbing with celebrities and living a pretty stylish life maybe you’d be worth it I don’t know 20 million you could give me a billionaire if you guys invested in bitcoin so know you’d be extra EB very wealthy probably living in a mansion somewhere in California with a lot of it. You’re a glamorous friends.” says Pat.

“ I believe that’s possible what did you do to Lacey?” says Susanne.

“ she’s very let’s just say she’s Tom’s daughter biologically for argument sake she is her mother was a very beautiful stewardess who could actually have killed her self essentially with a cocaine overdose in 1986 maybe not but let’s just say that that’s what’s possible because she was so messed up after losing her child she gave Lacey away she possibly visited. Lacey and Lacey didn’t recognize her and it was very excruciatingly. Painful for her to see her and then, I would bet that she just used too much Coke trying to stay awake maybe on an international flight and stay skinny and look pretty and died probably 1986, 1988 and I know she was an extremely pretty woman high cheekbones Norwegian probably very daring, a very romantic person in her own way not quite like Lacey, but there was probably something similar and that’s what’s tragic is that that woman was probably pretty independent and Lacey’s never been parented by someone who understands that part of her necessarily actually, I think Becca did being Norwegian, who were the white little one who raised her, but I mean that woman is not loving to her right now she’s very cold, and there’s always been a problem with her but she did understand Lacey‘s need for a sort of independence and sort of upper class austerity and their emotions in a good way and so that worked out but no, there’s a part of Lacey‘s heart that was never loved, but it’s extraordinarily tragic to a lot of people, but Dad will dead mostly who has her watching it because it’s an incalculable, a horrible thing and her heart exists. It’s fine but it’s as much as any human matter. It’s very sad. It’s very very sad so there’s that but other than that there was I going with that yeah I mean that’s that’s part of what happened Her mother just does was not loving, who raised her in that way, and that’s the thing her mother that would’ve brought her into this life was different person in her head that the mother raised her at the Nesheims are old money, the cross or somewhat old money Tom is the definition of old money in his DNA at least and really in general I mean he was good friends with Humphrey Bogart for a reason so and his sister had a posh you know aristocratic clothing store in Long Beach for a reason as well and that it could very easily be Lacey‘s actual DNA so you think oh you know this wonderful person with us upper class old money DNA combined with us risk-taking you know romantic Norwegian flight attendant on them from the 1980s right early 80s late 70s who could’ve been a model possibly you think wow that would be a really cool person and yeah Lacey is a really cool person but it’s kind of like cooking. There are some people who know how to make truffles taste good oh OK and there are some people who know how to make saffron rice there are some people who know how to cook certain types of shellfish there are some people who appreciate right oysters, or did before that we know earth came to polluted a expensive château Margaux. You know there are some things that are verified and it takes a very refined palate to appreciate them even though once you can appreciate them you understand how exquisite extraordinary they really are. I’m sorry she’s kind of like that. If she’s illegitimate yet, her DNA is pretty cool, but that’s the problem you know you take something that complicated and in some cases, delicate and unique and you can totally destroy it. If you do the wrong thing it’s not simple she’s not a simple person and it could be because of how agreeable she is and how determined and you know independent she is and loving she is it. It seems like she was fine and it still does, but if you knew who she really was and what she was capable of and incredible pain that she experiences constantly on so many levels in a way, I don’t think you’d probably think things went quite that well they just don’t know what they’re doing. they did better than a lot of people might do him because they were old money they were off class they were Norwegian they were Christians. They did better than a lot of people would do but they made a lot of mistakes that were very serious. What are those mistakes? Yeah, I guess just not really loving, who she actually is and then giving her the impression that they were in sort of gilding her and sort of thinking that they loved her and then a time she experienced them loving her but it’s complicated. It’s like they loved her and they made her think that they loved her in a real way but then at the end of the day they really may be didn’t end so it’s like oh no no way that you know my parents love me of course they do. She might’ve thought for years of her childhood, but then, it’s like with and why are you so miserable all the time why don’t your parents care that you know you never celebrate Christmas I mean they had reasons it’s like oh we don’t celebrate Santa Claus because we don’t want you to think that we’re lying to you which sounded so rational to Lacey because it’s like we’re Christians. God is invisible and they want me to know how serious God is and how real the whole thing is but that’s not us really what they were really doing. They were really possibly just being mean but she didn’t know that because the reason was so well thought out and and and well put an intelligent that it was like oh no, we’re just you know helping you be a good Christian and it was sad and very oh, brilliant way that was very convincing, at least until she got married and had her own kids.

 So that’s the thing so it’s like there’s no Santa Claus. There’s no fun and that way for her Christmas morning is just doll. Yeah, Christmas Eve is fun, but Christmas morning is just a nonexistent thing. It was stuff like that that they always chose to do never letting her eat sweets him yet she would end up in the emergency room every couple of weeks because her mother dehydrated her when she had the stomach flu and she was being molested and so she was having a dramatic physical response to being molested and then her mother didn’t know or chose not to take care of her appropriately and so she end up in the emergency room dehydrated on an IV every few weeks missing weeks of school and then the teachers would hate her and the students would make fun of her but then it just was all sudden. It all made sense you know they made it all makes sense, so yeah it’s stuff like that I mean when you talk about upper class old money, people who are usually intelligent, who have a sense of right and wrong maybe but are still messed up and are raising a child who maybe isn’t even theirs yeah it’s sad. it’s very sad, if you’ve been raised by them or you might actually be lost messed up and then that’s why I brought up her mother to begin with because that’s part of it. You have to understand Tom and Margie if they’re her parents we’re very very rare, romantic people I would say Harold Loeb is Lacey’s soulmate for a reason OK The way they perceive things how they see it it’s not common and so the sort of it’s not bipolar. The sort of Zelda might’ve been bipolar, but no Scott wasn’t. Lacey isn’t. Neither was Harold. They can experience love in this very deep, profound way, and so she had so much love to give somebody and it was, no it’s that’s that was what she wanted most and so it’s just sad because I think some people who are a little less like that could’ve handled being raised by her parents but I think that’s what really broke her back. That was the straw that broke her back was when they ruined that for her And that could be why Joel is so bothered right now in the afterlife because no, she had no chance she had no idea how to date she had no idea what she was doing, and it just fucked up her entire life essentially, and it was like drowning for her. I mean she couldn’t figure out how to handle it psychologically or what the hell was even going on And if she did discover the illuminati, that’s part of how it happened was that she was thinking that maybe she found true love and some very eccentric silly way and no she wasn’t. That’s not what was happening but you know, and then you know eight years later she’s married to a ghost as much as person could be married in Heaven.” says a man.

“Anyway. …Her parents might not be great people after all. But…they did get their money the honest way.” says a Minnesotan.

“What’s going on with her tooth?” says Susanne.

“It’s hurting a lot.” says I.

“So if you hadn’t let it hurt…which somehow you could have done? she’d have died!?” says Susanne.

“Yeah.” says an Englishman.

“That was you who she met in England wasn’t it!” says Susanne.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“So there’s no one!??” says Dr. Moritz.

“Yes. It’s extremely unlikely.” says Joel.

“There’s a guy in England who’s married, if badly. …So he’s out-“ starts a man.

Someone laughs..

“There’s a guy who’s in Japan. He’s…just not going to be interested. And he’s all aligned to meet a better match in a few years.

There’s a guy in…Colorado who’s…married.

…Very few aren’t married.

The one or two who aren’t are…headed there…or they’re just too damn hard for Lacey to ever meet. …God can make miracles happen…but free will exists too. And…it’s almost impossible.” says the man.

“Because they’re too…far away.” says Susanne.

“It’s too complicated.” says Louis.

“That’s bad.” says a reader.

“Yeah.

But she’s been aware of it for over ten years to some degree.” says Lem.

“So she’s to be alone. For the next 40 years. Or die. …Because of Jack Kennedy.” says a Christian.

“Yep.” says Kick. “It’s that weird.”

“There’s no one!??” says the Christian.

“Maybe not!!” says JD Vance. “Hey! Have you watched The Ghost and Mrs. Muir or Portrait of Jennie?”

“No.” he says.

“You should! Lots of Christians suffer. …It’s a thing. …Really. …I’m a Catholic now for lots of reasons but one of them is because they theologically account for human suffering. …And you know what else they account for? Ghosts.” says JD Vance.

“So to Catholics…her suffering makes sense.” says man.

“Yes!” says Kamala. “They’re not stumped.”

“So if there’s reincarnation…this is just a weird life. But…there’s probably not reincarnation.” says Jonah Wiley. “What then?”

(July 29th, 2024 – Evening)

So why? Why do you hate her?

“Would you have felt the actual need to show off if you’d been recognized as who you actually are?” says Casi.

“No.” says Lacey.

“We want to kill you.” says one of Lacey’s haters.

“Why!?” says England.

“Because she’s annoying.” says Casi.

“How!?” says Lem.

“I can’t imagine how to have a real conversation with her. What does that even look like?” says Casi.

“I think we’re boring.” says someone. “And she’s not. …But…at the same time…it’s hard for us to have a clue what to talk about with her.”

Someone else nods.

“So why did you want space?” asks a woman in Canada of Lacey.

“I was…having fun. But…I just wanted space.” says Lacey.

“So…how did you expect me to treat you?” alas Casi.

“With…coldness. Just like everyone else. But some friendliness and warmth.” says Lacey.

“So…we’re all way too informal for you.” says her neighbor.

“Yes! Very much so.” says Lem.

“Does that confuse you?” asks her neighbor.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“So you truly wrote what you did out of…actual distance. Not pretension.” says Casi.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Why are you so distant?” asks her neighbor.

“Why not be? We hardly know each other really. …And maybe that could change. But relationships take time.” says Lacey. “To me they’re meant to be savored and enjoyed slowly and happily and politely and carefully.”

“And we’re so fast!” says her neighbor.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“She’s like us. Really. We took things that slow. Really!” says a Greatest Generation woman.

“But her and Lem hook up fast. And I know others of you did that too.” says her neighbor.

“True. But…well…we’re just different.” she says.

“Gosh that must be miserable.” says her neighbor.

“Yeah! It’s not a fun life.” says the dead woman.

“Were you confused by my interest in you?” asks Casi.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “I know I’m good-looking. But…yeah.”

“Who’s Joel!?” says Casi.

“I was a guy she knew.” says Joel in the future.

“Why didn’t she date you?!?” says Casi.

“I didn’t know how to pursue her. I asked her out. But…I made the assumption she would know she wanted to date me. And that’s fair. But…in my case I needed to try to actually convince her.” says Joel.

“Why?” says Casi.

“Because…she actually did want me. She was madly in love with Lem. Instantly attracted to him. But…while no means no…and she has to be taken seriously and believed…I’m the man. …And as the man I had a right and a need to be…the leader. So…it would have been perfectly fine for me to try to talk her into it. …And she still might have turned me down. But I should have tried.” he says.

“How many times did you ask her out?” asks Jonah.

“Five. At least. And she said yes, eventually. But…I had given up. And I shouldn’t have.” says Joel.

“So you needed to be more assertive.” says a dead Greatest Generation man.

Joel nods.

“Huh. So…nobody ever just…asked her out…who she was immediately interested in-“ says her neighbor, sadly.

“Nope.” says Lem. “There was one guy at a bar. But…that was dangerous. He was…not safe.”

“She is extremely beautiful.” says someone.

“Yeah. She’s curvy.” says a woman.

“Joel…what did you look like!?” says Casi.

“Skippy Handelman. Except I wasn’t Jewish.” says Joel.

“WEIRD.” says Casi.

“Yeah.” says Joel.

“So you were her type. …How the fuck did she get so damn confused?” says Casi. “She’s not a lesbian or bisexual. She’s…weirdly straight.”

“Well! She’s with Lem now!” says Chris Hayes.

“Not like that. Come on!” says Casi. “So…how the hell did she miss you!??”

“When we had our date I hugged her goodbye. And I almost kissed her. …I regret not just kissing her. …If I had kissed her…she would have instantly snapped out of it and found me attractive. That sounds dumb…and fictitious, but in my case it’s not.” says Joel.

“Why didn’t you just do that!?!” says a Republican guy.

“I was…secretly very sensitive. And…I was afraid of offending her.

I should have.” says Joel.

“So you’re not Lem. And you couldn’t…connect with her that easily. …Dammit.” says the guy.

“Were you our last hope?” asks Chris Hayes either now if there’s an Illuminati or in the future if there’s not.

“Yeah.” says Joel.

“Wow!” says the CIA.

“Is there anyone available to her at all anymore?” asks a man who is or is like James Dobson.

Joel thinks. Looks sad. Then laughs. “No. She could go…on a search.” he says before laughing again. “You know? Like hunting men down. Driving around looking for them. …But…that’s weird. And…would never work anyway.”

“Why are you the only one!?” says the man.

Joel snickers. “Yeah. I know.

Ahh…well…there’s the harsh cold reality of it. And then there’s a nicer way of thinking of it.

She’s rare.

…And there’s nothing wrong with her. But…she’s not…almost ever in the same wavelength as most people alive. Truly. They did think differently. So…some people can translate and make it make sense, like me. But…most people aren’t that…versatile.

I think I was interrupted a lot. I kept telling her I hated gays. And…it’s because I had a problem with them attacking me. Okay? …But for some reason whenever we were together I’d say that. …And she found that really offensive. …But I assumed, incorrectly, that she’d know I wasn’t a hateful bigot. And…it wasn’t until our last conversation she even slightly began to figure me out.” says Joel.

“WHY DID YOU SAY THAT!?!” yells an exasperating living gay man, if there’s an Illuminati, who feels like he’s in a horror movie and yet watching it at the same time.

Joel thinks. “I just didn’t…think it was that serious.”

The man winces.

“I really was actually angry with homosexual men too. I found them…deplorable.” says Joel.

“What did we do to you?” asks an Illuminati psychic, if the Illuminati exists.

“You…harassed me.” says Joel.

“How often?” he asks.

“Frequently enough.” says Joel, he shrugs.

“So you were prompted to say that!?” says the man.

“Yes!” says Joel. “If not by a dead Kennedy then by a demon.”

Lacey’s step-mother nods as if she knew this. Or knows this.

“So you were happy though?” an actress asks Joel.

“Mmm… Yeah? I was.” says Joel.

“So they’ve left you alone after using you.” says the psychic.

“Yes.” says Joel.

“This is bad!” says the psychic to Kamala.

“For you?” says Donald Trump.

“Yup!” he says.

“We’ll see!” says Donald Trump.

“Why didn’t you figure out about Joel years ago!?!” says a reader.

“We had a narrative in our heads that she was…ridiculous. Like Donald Trump. Icky.” says Chris.

“Why!?” says Monika in Germany.

“Because she’s…so…quiet. And…subtle. And…contemplative. Always. Always considering. Never open.” says Chris.

“That’s just her personality.” says a British woman.

“Lacey…if you had your druthers…would you end the world?” asks a man in Scotland.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Okay. Other than that. What would you do?” he says.

“Sleep.” she says.

“Other than that.” he says.

“She’s DESPONDENT!!” yells a reader. “HOW STUPID ARE WE!?!?”

“Yeah. She could nap. The kids could bake cookies. …I could nap with her. …Maybe eat dinner outside. Sounds fun.” says Lem.

The man in Scotland laughs.

“Hunting later!” says Lem’s dad.

“Where’s Mark?” asks his dad.

“On a date.” says Lem’s dad.

“Is she nice?” asks his stepmother.

“Yes! She’s great.” he says.

She cries.

His father rubs his head.

“Well…that’s all well and good. But we have to complete this life.” he says.

“Yeah.” says Lem’s dad. “Do you care?”

“Yes.” he says.

“Then pray for yourself and your family.” says Lem’s dad.

“Why are we here!?!” he says.

“God knows. …Literally.” says Lem.

“We are rich.” he says.

“Yeah. We were.” says Lem’s dad.

“You were a doctor though?” says Ken.

“Any more questions!?” says Joel.

Later.

“Nobody would give a shit about me either.” says Krystal, Lacey’s cousin.

“Nobody!?” says Maeve, in despair.

“Did I stutter!!?” says Krystal, from the afterlife.

“Krystal. Tell us about yourself.“ says an Old Money woman.

“ Lacey spit out your gum.

I am saying this from the afterlife Lacey is amazed that I’m not in hell, and exceedingly extraordinarily happy, which does not mean that there’s not help it just means that she’s really happy that I didn’t go there.

She could’ve died from the infection that she currently has in her mouth. If the pain didn’t manifest within the next three weeks, she could’ve gotten infection that would’ve went to her bloodstream and killed her within about an hour. Sincerely an hour she would’ve gotten very sick high fever, and then just sepsis and died, Lem’s considered killing her. If you may recall about couple weeks ago, she almost overdosed on iron. She did overdose, but she almost took a lethal overdose and it was. It was a supernatural intervention that kept her alive. I don’t think she remembers that that even happened because I don’t think something wants her to someone. Dad doesn’t want her to remember that she and demons didn’t want her to remember that that happened, and now they’re saying that they’re trying to intellectualize it and make excuses for it and that’s really upsetting.

I’m a genius I’m a total genius really literally I am I am tall I have blonde hair blue eyes I’m Scandinavian completely out of my mother and father side. I look a lot like Ann Coulter but I am prettier than her but I do look like her. I am an excellent skier I mean I’ve been skiing in cop competing in skiing competitions, my entire life my family skis a lot I’m very good at skiing. I once told Lacey that I didn’t want her posting my picture on Instagram when she had more followers because I didn’t want people researching my ski scores. I literally told her that that I didn’t want her talking about me because I didn’t want anyone to research my skiing scores.

I’m very cold I was very cold to her and I think I’ve always thought that people were sometimes cold to me because I am cold myself. I have a very high IQ. I invest my money that I inherited very well. I haven’t worked very much, my whole life I’ve mostly just traveled, although I was a Shakespearean actress And I have become very well aware of the eastern medicine if you find Gwyneth Paltrow annoying you’d find me repulsive. I am far more intense and aesthetic thing. When is Paltrow I am very growing up and on the West Coast and upper class family I am and being unusually intelligent and only child I’m I’m very aware.

No, I have like I had like a perfect score on my SATs perfect score and I had a full ride scholarship to University of Washington because of it. I also got really good grades and I mean I could’ve afforded to pay for it but they offered it to me, so why not And I’m thrifty a part of me feels like maybe I should’ve let someone else take that but I’m very thrifty so at the time it seems like it just made sense. I was raise that when something like that happens you just take the offer you don’t, you know turn it down because I was raised to save money. You always are trying to save money even if you have millions you’re always trying to save the North Dakota old money is like that we are obsessive about saving money but not in a way that stupid necessarily. It’s just extremely Scandinavian, and frugal and sort of almost bare, barren kind of bleak Minimalist like IKEA but like a mindset so you go to University of Washington you know you don’t go to Harvard or Yale even if you could or MIT you are the University of Washington because it’s free.

I was criticized the perfume Lacey was wearing and questioned her about her jewelry, and I realized that being relatives we were sort of in the same boat socially so I had to be careful to be proud of her. I wanted to tell her never to wear perfume again, and yet the same time I liked that she was wearing perfume because it was kind of rebellious and being from her family. I knew subconsciously that part of the reason she was wearing it was to be rebellious so a little part of your thought that was kind of cool.

Yeah, Lacey’s from my family we went to the ballet we went to the opera I was embarrassed because she wore Mitsuko and it was loud and I knew people were going to notice but I liked her jewelry. It was a 1930s art deco enamel sterling silver piece it was pretty it was from Germany and I knew people think that was a really beautiful, but then I realized also that she was trying to be appropriate because it wasn’t an overly people were dress down and I was only wearing my coach bag and so I realize oh no no no she’s being appropriate. This is how we dress you know she could wear something more expensive and then she had a very large ring at that time, but yeah she’s very rebellious so you were you know a large art deco cocktail ring appropriate necklace from the 1930s and then Mitsuko to the opera and it’s it should actually make sense but it doesn’t cause people are just so persnickety they’re so cruel.

Oh my my family is donated a lot of money to Seattle’s opera and musical organizations over the years I have as well we’ve always been involved with that so we got a lot of free tickets and stuff like that but then yeah before the opera we were just go out to a Poppin drink and talk I think if circumstances that has circumstances have been just a little different that she could’ve possibly been a close friend over the years maybe but it didn’t turn out that way, but we did get along really well.

And I don’t get along that well with a lot of people I write I remind people possibly of Ann Coulter, but I’m a liberal, and I’m not because I’m intellectual and I you know living off of my families money that I inherited from my fathers family and for my mothers family, I don’t I’ve not not done anything I’ve invested wisely Which actually is work I’ve had to figure out how to invest my money, and I’ve done things to have traveled I have like I said I’ve dollars and eastern medicine. I did Shakespeare in acting for a while but yeah I don’t. I think if I was in her shoes I don’t think anyone would give a crap about me either And I was I was saying I have a voice thought or I did think oh no that’s only because I’m cold to people if I was warm like Lacey tries to be at times because she actually can be very warm and loving at times and so if I was like that people would care you know if I was just more open with people sometimes or I tried harder they could tell that I really wanted to be their friend and that I wasn’t just uppity. They would totally care more it’s a choice, but I’m realizing in the afterlife that’s not entirely true.

People really wouldn’t care about me either. I don’t know why entirely but they wouldn’t him. I find it fascinating actually and I think to be honest Casi it’s part of the reason why she got really pissed off. You called her pretentious after she went out and got fresh seafood in Seattle with her family, why was that so offensive to you?” says Krystal.

“ they just don’t have the money for it Krystal.” says an Old Money woman.

“ there are a lot of locals in Seattle, who eat fresh seafood, and they’re not rich.” says Krystal.

“ yeah but they live in Seattle. Where is Casi from?” says Jonah.

“ does that really matter when you’re choosing to be that offended?” says Krystal.

“ I don’t I don’t think they’re choosing to be offended in that way I I I I think I think it’s just a visceral reaction for them. I don’t think they’re thinking it through that much.” says someone at MSNBC.

“ but but they act like they’re so heavy and intellectual on the same level that Lacey and I are I mean we really enjoyed the opera. It wasn’t pretension to so it wasn’t boring. We both sat there genuinely taken by what we were watching it wasn’t just for show. I got a perfect score on my SAT. I’m a genius for real, and I’m not sure that Lacey is as intelligent as I am I am unusually intelligent, like really unusually intelligent, but she could be and just be a little different than I am, but I might I really am like by most standards of the world, unusually intelligent and I think that’s what is irritating. I’m sorry if you care about our feelings at all, is that you’re acting like you’re a smart as us Casi in a lot of you and I’m not sure that you really are and then you expect us to understand where you’re coming from how are we supposed to do that if you’re giving us the wrong impression the whole fucking time!?” says Krystal.

“ I don’t think they saw the harm in being that fake.” says Kamala.

Krystal cries.

“ would I have gotten along with both of you? Let’s just say you didn’t know who I was that I was a big deal or anything like that and you just knew me through a friend and I had hung out with you people that night would we have all sat there and gotten along be honest Krystal.” says Kamala.

“ yeah, we would have although I wouldn’t have been able to vote in the electoral college that year loop there would’ve been considerations between the two of us because of my place and in politics in my families, place, and politics, and the connections that we have but if we were to take you as like a person outside of that yeah absolutely and that isn’t me vouching for you and your character Kamala it’s not me disparaging it either necessarily I’m just saying yes we would have gotten along.” says Krystal.

“ so would’ve been a relaxing evening the three of us hanging out and I’m not saying anything there’s no innuendo there’s actually it’s just three women hanging out having fun getting burgers and fries and cocktails or beer or something and then going out to the opera and actually really enjoying the opera.” says Kamala.

“ yes, it’s a little embarrassing to Lacey and I frankly don’t take that the wrong way as they say but no yes yes Camala you would feel at home with our family given who you are your background and that way if you are the person in that regard that’s why I want to be careful of what I said but Innoway yes yeah there are people in our family who is married in but still for a tiny bit like you just a little just a little and no, we can we get along with each other to some degree we would definitely have gotten along with you you would’ve had a very fun night.” says Krystal.

Kamala looks angry.

“ well, I would like to say I’m sorry that Joe called Lacey a bitch a few years ago that was arguably one of the dumbest things anyone’s done in the last five years politically.” says Kamala.

They’re silent.

“ I see no I feel weird because I actually think this is possible that I could be friends with both of you. It’s very bizarre and is the weird thing. I don’t think either one of you would be freaked out with the thought of me being the first field female president I think you would think it’s just made sense and you just be like it’s weird that it’s gonna happen sooner for anyone else, but you know it is what it is right which yeah this is getting awkward but no, that’s the thing from your perspective into some degree from mine because I did come from some privilege. Yeah I don’t know my full story but no I came from some proof for some privilege I don’t entirely get it either. I’m a very casual person to kind of a West Coast casual person to in my own way, and I mean you’re straight Lacey I might not be entirely. I don’t know what Krystal is to us. It’s like as long as it’s not hurting a child I might actually agree with you in my conscience at the very least it’s like as long as it’s not hurting a child or a vulnerable adult let’s just not talk about that right now because that’s a really complicated topic and Christianity is already a hot button issue let’s just try to connect as people and see yeah if God can somehow make this a fun situation for us is just humans living in a fallen world, right, and that’s the problem. You guys are blind to your privilege I am not as much because I have some black heritage and Indian heritage, and I’m just not quite the same as the two of you, but I have enough of that where I relate to you and you’re both very casual people in a way very Scandinavian and so, very intelligent and so it’s like why are we even worrying about any of us this is not the point of the whole thing right but that’s the problem you guys you’re high minded intellectuals that is not who people are and you say that to you, I know that’s possible I could be friends with people who didn’t fully grasp the concept that not everyone gets how offensive Mitsouko could be you know, and yet also how cool and rebellious it is to wear it to the opera and I understand that but I don’t think that most people do and I don’t think you believe that’s even remotely possible but know that that is part of what happened. I don’t think either one of you got that that it’s not that people aren’t thinking that deeply about stuff even in their subconscious.” says Kamala.

“ and yet I don’t I wasn’t particularly loving towards Lacey Kamala and even if I could’ve done I wasn’t particularly loving towards her maybe slightly so then one just out of curiosity do you give a shit about her and I and frankly that’s what you don’t seem to understand or maybe you kind of to you we would snap you eventually if you kept saying stuff like that in the way, you just said it we would eventually snap you because we have a right to and given who we are and who we were at the very least before you destroyed our family, possibly or tried to. I’m sorry I’m being honest with you we would’ve been able to snub you and you would’ve grasp what was happening part of what’s happened if this is real is that a lot of you don’t seem to understand but there’s a world beyond your own fucking fingertips I’m sorry that Lacey and I have feelings and we’re white. I apologize to you. I apologize to all of you liberals I don’t get it Black people and people who were up in Brooklyn or Mexico or whatever the hell it is if people grow up, we’re angry at Lacey all the time are not the only entities to have feelings in the entire fucking universe.” says Krystal.

“ do you care that it’s hard for them?” she says.

“ we don’t know what we’re doing. I don’t really brag or if I do, it’s possibly very convoluted to you because we grew up in the same family that’s part of why am angry. This is absurd. She’s taking time out of your day to write on this blog, and try to talk to you if this is real, what do you want from her? It’s obvious that she’s not trying to be a jerk. It’s been obvious for eight years it was obvious or in the very beginning it’s obvious that I’m smarter than a lot of people who are bothered by what I’m saying right now, so how about you tell me is it wasting my time why don’t you give a fuck about me and my and my cousin why don’t a lot of you give a shit about Lacey and I and our feelings, why are you blind to our humanity?” says Krystal.

“ that’s a really good question so Casi you’re a snobby pretentious bitch who sings that she’s smarter than people when she’s not and you pretend to be a smart as Lacey and and Krystal but in reality you’re actually really not your average but you pretend to be very above average and it falls, maybe a few people here in there but in reality you’re pretty much just average and Lacey is extraordinarily intelligent person and so is Krystal how about you apologize for giving Lacey the impression that she could relax and be herself around you when in reality she quit and she should’ve been walking on eggshells around a lot of people online including you.” says Joel.

“ I knew that the hammer Houma oysters were some of the best in the world I researched it, and I was jealous because it showed me that Lacey had extraordinarily good taste when it came to seafood, and I realize that her taste and seafood were not. it was just as good as her taste in perfume I realize that she had exquisite taste in general, and it made me really threatened and jealous.” says Casi.

“ I bet did you research everything that she posted to try to check? Her legitimacy is an election as an intellectual lead did you just did you literally just check everything to see if she was authentic?” says Krystal. “ I bet you did and then I bet you also realize that she was authentic and it just was baffling to you and you couldn’t except it but you kind of knew it was true but you just couldn’t except it and honestly I think that’s what happened with MS NBC I think they know that she’s authentic and my family is unusually rich and they were old money but I don’t think they can handle the fact that the Midwest isn’t just comprised of backward hillbilly mouth breathers, because then that means a Bing from New York. Does it make you automatically sophisticated more than any other American to ever exist A lot of those people are very conceited because they think that coming from that area of the country somehow makes them better than everybody else, and it doesn’t.” says Krystal.

Later.

“So… how much are you worth?“ asks an anchor at MSNBC.

“ I don’t feel comfortable sharing that publicly because what if it’s more than what you have done what where are you going with this?” says Krystal.

“ I think you guys have overly invested in the validity of your own perspective.” says a public conservative.

“ i’m Kiki Astor public personality who pretends to be a very wealthy family. We didn’t have that much money. I don’t know how you know so much about my background. It’s a little creepy but somehow you found out and now we have generational wealth but we’re not really old money we’re not that rich either, I I lie to my followers and I have a feeling I piss people off who really are authentic old money who aren’t excepted by people or people who aren’t old money and just find me annoying. For some other reason I have garnered a fair share of haters, and they’re not like most peoples haters because they’re people who, seemingly really hate my public persona which is not an entirely authentic for some deep legitimate reason. I think it’s sad that people spend so much time humor in their own egos thinking that Lacey is a narcissist. A lot of nurses are so backward and not realizing that they’re really nuts and that there’s people who aren’t predator aren’t prey, they’re just different in as possibly scary children are supposed to feel that out of control but I mean what are you gonna do being a psychopath be a narcissist isn’t normal .

I actually am fascinated I am asking this in the afterlife whether I read this or not in the present I might I might not. What is it actually like to grow up in the old money upper class Lacey had the experience to some degree but I get the sense that your parents cared about you and we’re more normal. What is it actually like Krystal what is it I parity you or whatever you want to say it I’m doing I make it seem, like every trite thing that people hear about oh you know it’s like you got Cartier watches every Christmas and we will have you know multiple castles in France and there’s things I’ve said that are probably more authentic but it’s not based necessarily on personal experience, it might be to some degree but not necessarily so so what is it actually like?” she says.

“ I don’t find you offensive I find you weird if I’m being honest, I would never say that I would ever say that out loud. I would never tell anybody that but to me you just seem kind of strange and freakish. I’m sorry which how about that is an answer which do you prefer Lacey who feels empathy for you or wants to who was raised by weird parents and may not even be my blood relative may actually be genetically more old money in someway than I am or do you like my cold upper class old money Scandinavian response that’s verifiably 100% Scandinavian old money of you’re just a weird freak?” says Krystal.

“ so I take it that you wouldn’t have given Casi the time of day you would’ve thought she was some but what would you have thought of Casi?” says Kiki in the future.

“ I would’ve thought it was interesting talking to her in a purely intellectual objective way about perfume but no I would’ve been noticeably cold towards her. Why, though I am noticeably cold you know I called you a freak so it’s obvious that I don’t like you and you don’t have to wonder about it, Lacey is more humanitarian in her response but she’s not necessarily as friendly as you thought she was why did you people take advantage of that? Why did you take advantage of that and why did you assume that she was this super warm friendly person who was just easy to hoodwink easy to fool who you could just bullshit because I know that’s what the things that irritates her is that you don’t sense the fact that you’re really pissing her off and that that’s not safe because then I think she things what the fuck do you expect me to do? I am an empathetic shark I am a loving shark. I am a mother, but I am a shark.” says Krystal.

Kiki laughs. “ no that makes sense to me. I don’t know if it would make sense to Casi or not but no that makes complete sense to me Lacey. What do you think Krystal’s life was like growing up? I don’t think Krystal’s going to tell me, what do you what was her life and from your perspective of being her cousin what do you think she experienced?”

“ and at that my kitchen light blinks and Kiki or someone tries to tell me that there’s an afterlife and that it’s real. 

I know they were skiing a lot all around the world eventually at least I think they went to Lilyhammer for the Olympics in 1992. They’re very very elite old money in that way a lot of skiing.

I mean, I don’t think she was overly spoiled my families, very frugal, but I have a feeling that she was allowed some privileges and certainly I think she was given the freedom to explore the world in a way that didn’t require her to have to make money it was more you have an inheritance you know develop a good perspective on things develop character develop depth And then what do you think about it? What do you think about the whole world you know what is your perspective and there are a lot of feminists in my family, so it might’ve even been the line of as a woman what’s your perspective help things were in the 90s it was a lot more optimistic in that way, and so it’s like as a woman Krystal was your perspective you know what what was she giving for Christmas? Probably I don’t know whatever she wanted within reason to some degree maybe new skis maybe a bath and Bodyworks and new skis probably nothing extraordinary probably things that were cool and fun but it wasn’t probably things that were extravagant at least every Christmas there might have been you know $2000 from her grandparents to put in her piggy bank every Christmas, there might have been new SKUs there might have been oh diamond earrings pearls and stuff like that every once in a while but then that was what that that would probably have been her only pair so it would’ve been oh you know Krystal has a new pair of pearl earrings from I don’t even know probably some department store in downtown Seattle That were worth so decent about and we’re probably for kids so that may be our worth what maybe $400 today and then that was her gift so you know that those were her pearls or maybe there were a pair of diamonds when she was 20 from her grandparents That they got from probably some decent jeweler that were worth I don’t know 15,000 but that wasn’t like the only thing she would’ve been given and that probably was a one time thing so like $15,000 diamond earrings when she was 19 you know $400 pearl earrings when she was five $2000 every year for Christmas for her P bank so it’s not like she could just go spend it it was like she’s supposed to save it for her college education or whatever she was going to spend that on They might’ve even had her out. I know she read the Wall Street Journal when she was young that was a joke in the family that people were all reading that for some reason so I suppose it’s possible that she invested even when she was a teenager in the stock market just for the fun of it And those things are all pretty posh but no it’s not like what you describe where it’s every Christmas you get brand new Cartier you know $50 billion earrings. There could be some families that are like that but ours is not. Ours is not like that.” says Lacey.

“ no I mean in my family I have bought Lacey a crêpe in Mark, a crêpe maker from Williams-Sonoma .” says Ken Schiebel.

“ so then part of being old money is having power and control and knowledge it’s not just about how much money you have.” says Kiki.

“ yeah it’s your family. It’s who you are it’s your perspective it’s not just about the extravagant amount of money that you have.” says Krystal.

“ you know that should really have an obvious that could be offensive to some people. Let’s be real for a second whether there’s reincarnation or not Lacey seems to take things very deeply and seriously Kiki. I think you should probably at some point for an eternity apologize to her for lying to her if you’re a good person. If you did and you should probably also admit that you read her blog if you did although I’m not sure that you did but if you did, you should probably apologize to her because I think it is obnoxious that you pretend to be her and have her voice and get respect from people that Anne and humanitarian kindness from people that they don’t give her there’s some thing a little repulsive about that and you can say 008 all evens out how does it all even up how does it all even out!?” yells India.