The Woman

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: YOU ARE A BITCH! *she says to Lacey* YES, YOU ARE!

Lacey invites you to listen to “The Real Slim Shady” by Eminem.

Lacey: *laughs at her, like she’s just a STUPID adult*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I can’t handle this.

Lacey: YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!

*Lacey yells in her face*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *cries*

Lacey: Oh! Now you’re feminine!?

Nah! That’s me!

YOU UGLY BITCH!

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: You’re a lot tougher than I thought.

Lacey: YOU SUCK!!

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *proudly*

I do suck.

*she laughs*

Lacey: I don’t care!

That’s your problem.

The music plays.

Kaienta: *Joins them*

Lacey invites you to listen to “My Name Is” by Eminem.

Kaienta: She’s not that great. *he says about the woman*

Lacey: I know.

Kaienta: Do you understand that you’re not that…pretty? *he asks the woman*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Yes.

Kaienta: She earnestly thinks that’s impossible.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Because she’s in love with me?

Kaienta: NO!

Are you an idiot?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Kind of?

Kaienta: That’s why.

And you are narcissistic. Admit it.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Yeah. I am.

But…that’s not what this is about…

Another perfume collector: Are you…-

You’re so mean…

Lacey: WHAT!?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Yeah. You are! You’re mean.

Lacey: *she laughs at her again*

Are you braindead? *she asks her*

Listen to “Criminal” by Eminem. It’s spiritually about Tom Banks. Poetically.

A woman who collects “blue and white”: She’s not mean.

That woman is.

Lacey…do you understand…you’re that hot?

Vs

God: Lacey wins. To say otherwise is a LIE.

Vs.

God: The other woman obviously wins. Casi is actually mildly ugly.

Vs.

God: Lacey wins. INSTANTLY.

Casi is actually mildly ugly.

Stop fighting reality.

Lacey: So what’s so confusing?

Bobby: *looking EXTREMELY anxious*

*rocking back and forth in despair, agony and terror*

Jim: Did Lem molest him?

The CIA: No.

He likes to believe Lem was genuinely in love with him, not just…pretending to be, to control him, but…no.

Peter Thiel: I don’t think I knew people other than me…could be that tricky.

The CIA: Oh! Fooling a kid? To control them? Because they know the kid is a narcissist?

Peter: YES!

Who would come up with something that psychologically sophisticated!?

The CIA: WOW!

Really, PETER!?

Peter: *nods, smiling*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I don’t understand why…

Why is she being so mean?

Kaienta: What do you mean!?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I feel dumb every time I talk to you.

Lacey: *blinks*

*blank expression*

A lesbian: OH MY GOD!

SHE IS NOT GAY!

(Lacey, being the she)

Lacey: *confused expression, listening to all this*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: YOU SEEM DUMB.

Lacey: No. I don’t.

*looks confused*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I DO!

Lacey: *scratches her eyelid, because it suddenly itches*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Wow!

You’re COLD.

Lacey: You’re a heartless piece of festering shit?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: No! I’m not.

Lacey: PROVE IT!

Because, to me, that’s what you look like.

I’m sorry.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Would you treat me this way, if you didn’t think I was?

Lacey: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I’m not Casi.

Lacey: Whatever.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I’m just not as good as this person.

Lacey: *gets up, to walk-off*

Moloch: Lacey!

That’s not the custom.

Lacey: *looks confused, and alarmed*

Moloch: You misunderstood!

No, no!

You’re still supposed to sit here!

*he escorts Lacey back to the seat next to the woman*

Lacey: I don’t like this.

Moloch: Why?

Lacey: Every time I’ve been in her spot, people have spit in my face and walked-off spiritually, cutting off my head and stabbing me in the gut first. I’m not being mean. I’m just walking away.

Moloch: You were never inferior though.

Lacey: *thinks*

That’s not what was communicated to me.

God: She’s right.

This is totally unrighteous. Totally unholy. Totally unfair.

You’ve destroyed America. And I don’t mean Lacey, I mean most people in America alive today.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I’m not ugly.

Lacey: Yes, I can tell you actually are.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: But not, really.

Lacey: Yes. *She says, brightly, as if this was and is obvious, and this woman is very evil or dumb.*

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *looks angry*

HOW DARE SHE!!!

Moloch: Ahh. So you are just a heartless, brainless narcissist?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I can’t figure this out.

How is she in the right?

I know what I look like…

Moloch: You understand. SHE does not.

And you’re holding on to that…because you’re SICK. You’re a sick, perverted IDIOT.

And you can’t deal with it.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I was molested by my birth father.

And I’m not okay.

So…she can’t understand…that she’s not supposed to say that?

Moloch: Yeah…

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Ahh…we can’t and couldn’t stand your superiority.

People are like that.

But…you’ve experienced it more than you were supposed to, because you’re better looking than most people.

Lacey:

*thinks*

I’ve asked this before: what were you all expecting me to do!?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: *thinks*

Can you just say “Hi” more?

Lacey: *laughs*

Absolutely not.

That’s not me.

And people have been FAR too evil. FAR too mean.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Because you’re afraid of being rejected.

Lacey: I’m not inferior to you.

I refuse to be engaged.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: I don’t like you.

It’s true.

Lacey: *laughs*

Exactly.

Why should I say hello?

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Because you’re trying to make me feel happy.

Lacey: I’m not obviously pretty enough, even though I actually am, to do that.

I have a cousin Linn who does that. But she’s socially obvious.

The woman from the perfume community who was mad about Lacey’s date: Interesting.

*she thinks*

Lem: She’s too delicate.

In person it’s obvious, if you actually look.

But it’s not…clear.

People like this woman:

are far more obvious.

This is what we look like, however:

Screenshot

The second woman is better-looking. But you have to take time to see it.

People today don’t think that way anymore.

AND…Lacey’s not as subtle as the second woman. So…it’s very complicated.

Some people can see it! But it’s not safe to assume.

The woman from last night, who was angry about Lacey and Lem’s date: Okay.

I did this.

I knew.

But…also not.

So…you’re not being mean?

Lacey: *looks confused*

The woman from last night, who was angry about Lacey and Lem’s date: I knew I wanted to be better than you. But I assumed that was your problem.

Lacey: How could that possibly be my problem!?

You Just Are

A reader: Lacey, you just are old money. Do you understand that?

Lacey: *thinks*

A reader: You just ARE that.

Lacey: *thinks*

I’m struggling.

Moloch: She wasn’t loved, in this way.

People were cruel.

Lacey: Yeah.

I can’t wrap my head around it.

Moloch: She knows. But not in that way.

She “connects to her higher self” as a Christian. So she has a very sane, solid identity. A great sense of self. But…she can’t grasp it in that way.

The world tried to give Jack Kennedy her body. Because he demanded it.

Kaienta Ashobie: I am an ancient African Prince. That’s close to my name.

I’m not Lacey, but I am very close to her and we think a lot alike. I think Jack was trying to be me too, literally. A lot of my leadership style was what he imitated.

When he smiled really wide and showed his teeth? Looking up at the skies? I did that.

Except if he had even stolen my soul and become me fully, which is impossible actually, but if he had done that Lem still wouldn’t have wanted him because Lem was actually looking for a woman. I’m a very handsome man. I’m very kind, very even-tempered, very thoughtful. My people flourished. I had a reign of about 70 years.

But I am not capable of being with that man. Lem.

A Hollywood movie star: Could you be with Jack!?

Kaienta: No, no I’m sorry I cannot. I wouldn’t be interested in him, even if I could be.

A Catholic: What’s wrong with Jack!?

Why can’t you love JFK!? *they ask desperately*

Moloch: *laughs at America*

Kaienta: I do not think I can tell you. *he smiles*

Moloch: *cannot stop laughing at America*

Listen to “A Moment Apart” by ODESZA.

A black woman feels proud of “Kaienta”. As she should. He was a truly great man.

Lacey: *smiles in awe of the glory of God, as displayed through “Kaienta”*

A woman in his “tribe”: It was like America…but real. …Do you understand? …Safe, free…

*she smiles*

We were HAPPY.

Lacey replays the song again.

Moloch: Lacey, that’s YOU. …AS A MAN. …In a way…

SWEETIE, THAT’S YOU.

1:44

God: He’s cool? Huh!?

Lacey: I AM NOT HIM.

It’s cool.

God: No. Because then Satan gets your power.

Lacey: YOU FIX IT.

This wasn’t my fault!

God: True.

Moloch: It’s cool.

I got this. *he says to God*

Lacey: How does Satan get my power!? I could STRANGLE God.

God: It wasn’t my fault!

Lacey: *nods*

Moloch: *laughs at America with Lacey*

Listen to “Midnight City” by M83.

Ocasia-Cortez: We have to be nice.

Lacey: *simmers down*

Bowes-Lyons: *smile*

*a moment passes*

Moloch: Waiting in the car, parked in Harvard YARD. Waiting for a Royal DAWN. *he sings mockingly*

Lacey: *laughs with him*

Jack Kennedy’s “residual energy”: *jogs*

*jogs resembling Bill Clinton, except he looks STUPID. Flat butt. Dumb facial expression. Head too big for his body. Knock-kneed, like his father. Too skinny waist.*

Moloch: WAITING IN THE CAR! WAITING FOR A ROYAL DAWN!!

Lacey: *cracks-up laughing*

I wouldn’t keep my hopes up.

Moloch: *laughs heartily, as well*

Lacey: He’s NOT “Kaienta”.

The song ends.

Listen to “Spitting Off the Edge of the World” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Kaienta: *playfully mocks Lacey*

Lacey: He’s a DEMONIC RAT.

A dead Japanese man: I agree.

Kaienta: But they can’t let go of it. It’s all they have. In their minds.

Lacey: Why can’t they just admire you?

Moloch: I agree!

Kaienta: They aren’t that sophisticated.

Lacey: Not OUR PROBLEM.

Moloch: *nods in agreement with Lacey*

God: Through me, those two are very close.

Kaienta: Yes, but they can’t grasp the concept, Lacey.

Listen to “Smalltown Boy” by Bronski Beat & The Knocks.

Lacey: This song is so stupid.

It’s like Sesame Street!

Kaienta: *laughs with Lacey*

But that’s all they can manage!

Lacey: *thinks*

Look both ways before crossing the street!

Run away, turn away, run away!

STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!

Moloch: *smiles*

*laughs*

Lacey: Run away, boys and girls! If your parents are being mean! RUN AWAY!! If you can.

Kaienta: You are a REAL perfume genius.

Lacey: Jack was such an idiot.

Kaienta: He sent you into the community, an unknown Virgo-Libra. 1981?

He’s basically retarded.

Lacey: Why do they call him that!?

Moloch: He’s REAL. Unlike YOU! He’s FAMOUS!

*he laughs, mocking Micheal*

What an arrogant idiot.

I can’t stand the Kennedys. Wasting all that power just to convert someone’s orientation?

Bobby: HIS ORIGINAL ORIENTATION!

He’s BETTER NOW!

He likes US!

Moloch: Micheal Alden Hadreas is an ugly wimpy looking nerd idiot compared to Lacey. An unoriginal hack.

Scotia:

God: A sack of bones? Or a SEXY woman?

Wow! Tough choice, Bobby.

Bobby: He’ll find some hottie, then.

But I refuse to let Lacey be happy.

I WANT MY SHIT LICKED.

LICK THAT POO RIGHT OFF MY ASS!! *he demands of all the world*

EAT IT!!

I AM…AMAZING!!!

An ex Conversion Therapist: Bobby, hey…sweetie…this isn’t going to work.

A gay man: *covers his mouth with his hands*

DID YOU THINK MICHEAL WOULD INTIMIDATE LACEY, BOBBY?!

Bobby: YES!

I refuse to believe she’s REAL.

I AM AMAZING!!!

I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!

A gay man: He’s cute. But he’s kinda average…

Bobby: LOOK!

My FAMILY ROCKS!

We’ve altered her image in cameras to LET AMERICANS SEE THE TRUTH:

Bobby: I AM SO MUCH MORE HOT!!!

I AM SO MUCH MORE HOT!!

FLAT CHEST!! NO CHIN!

God:

That’s what she actually looks like.

She’s not lying.

She photographs worse than most people to ever live.

But that doesn’t alter her actual face.

Bobby: I’M STILL KICKING ASS!!

Moloch: You can’t compete with her.

Actually, you can’t even compare to Micheal. You’re short. You’re too short for your face to avoid looking too much like a “leprechaun”. Leprechauns are an insult to Irish men. They’re mocking you, Bobby.

Bobby you look like a leprechaun.

You can’t even compete with Michael.

But Lem is straight anyway!

An ex conversion therapist: Bobby…you can’t make Lem gay.

Bobby: That’s fine!

I’m straight too!!

*he laughs*

*Then twerks*

A gay man: Bobby why are you twerking?

Bobby: It’s just a dance.

A gay man: But it’s still kinda weird.

Funny how you want us to eat your poo?

Is that sexual to you?

Bobby: Yes.

It’s just a joke.

Lighten-up!

A gay man: Cool.

What’s the joke?

Bobby: That I’m gay.

There’s NO WAY a Kennedy man could actually be gay.

Glenn: Is this what she actually looks like:

God: She looks like Scotia. But this is very close to that.

And this is her face with a filter. Not a picture of Scotia.

Does that answer your question?

Glenn: Then why is she so mean?

Bobby: Me.

But whatever.

I’m not gay.

Jim: I’m confused.

Is Bill Clinton gay?

Bobby: Yes.

Well, okay, not completely. But he is…attracted to men.

Jim: Then how are you, Bobby, not gay?

Bobby: Because I’m a Kennedy.

Jim: And the Kennedys aren’t gay?

Listen to “Yucca Messa” by Roosevelt.

Bobby: It’s impossible.

I’m sorry. It’s important to remember, we are heterosexual.

This sounds weird…but…it’s REAL.

A Freudian psychologist: Are you attracted to Lacey too?

Bobby: Yeah!

I’m a loser.

*he laughs*

A Freudian psychologist: Huh.

And you often felt like Lem was a surrogate father to you?

Bobby: Yes.

A Freudian psychologist: I think you’re refusing to grow-up. And admit you’re you.

Bobby: *thinks*

But then Lem goes away…

A Freudian psychologist: Did you mean to say that?

Bobby: No.

A Freudian psychologist: Maybe he’s not a fatter to you.

Maybe he’s…you…as your idealized self…

Bobby: I’m better than him!

No can do.

A Freudian psychologist: Then why is he your idealized sense of self?

Bobby: *sticks out his belly to look taller*

Moloch: That IS Bobby!!

Excellent, Lacey.

Listen to “Yucca Messa” by Roosevelt, again.

Bobby: I’m a SMOOTH, SEX CRIMINAL!

*he laughs to seem approachable*

Moloch: A sexual CRIMINAL!?

Bobby: Wears his button-up shirt. Rolled sleeves. Tan. Khakis. Good skin.

*shakes his butt*

I’ve been working-out.

A Freudian psychologist: He’s not responding.

I wonder if we have to give-up.

Kaienta: Yeah.

*He laughs at America, now, too*

Moloch: IT IS THIS BAD.

*he laughs with Kaienta*

IT IS THIS BAD.

Jim: Do we have lead poisoning?

God: You do, actually.

Yes.

But…that doesn’t account for everything.

Moloch: Lacey isn’t…being cared for at all right now.

It’s STUNNING.

She’s fighting for herself. VALIANTLY.

And…people resent it.

She’s been attacked with suffocation, several times. She’s had to stop and use her brilliant mind to force herself to breath.

God: Thank you for helping me.

Lacey: I can’t-

God: It wasn’t me. But it also wasn’t Moloch. Nor Satan.

Bobby: BE GAY!!!

EVERYONE!

I COMMAND YOU!

The CIA: That doesn’t work, Bobby.

Bobby: No. It does.

An ex-conversion therapist: We can’t change that.

It’s not like that.

A reader: Bobby, are you SERIOUS!?

Another reader: Lacey, why are you running around topless? You’re not meaning to though-

*they think*

Bobby: I AM NOT GAY.

Neither are you.

I’m really just a disgruntled CONSERVATIVE.

Jim: No!

You cannot be serious!?

You think it’s NOTHING!?

Bobby: Jim!

It’s just sex.

Jim: Okay…

Huh.

But you can’t just say it, like that…

Bobby: *laughs and looks uncomfortable*

Jim: You have to acknowledge that it’s actually sex.

Bobby: *looks very anxious*

Jim: You’re not ready to hear the truth. You’re bisexual.

Bobby: I’m not!

There’s NO way.

Jim: No, you are.

Bobby: I’m NOT!

Jim: No. YOU ARE.

Moloch: Thank you, Jim.

He obviously is.

He’s not going to give-in.

But thank you.