Category Archives: Journal

Lacey: I don’t know what you mean. I’m not trying to be mean.

But I’m thinking about it.

*she says to the perfume community*

Casi: The thing is, you had the right idea about all of the power structures. The social hierarchy.

You weren’t wrong.

But you needed to be nice..

Jim: Are you all sure that that’s really how it works?

I can’t remember the last time I was part of a group-wide conspiracy to harass someone who just wasn’t “being nice”.

Dimitry: This is true.

Still…it’s like…”Why are you so mad? When do you act soft? Why don’t you smile more? You know? Act happy?

Why can’t you be…goofy and…silly?

Or…

Warm?

Not warm, like you love humanity. No. Warm, like you are happy?

Lem: *cracks-up laughing at them all*

I’m not sure why…but you don’t seem to understand.

Some people aren’t happy.

Dimitry: Is it actually that she’s not happy?

Lem: Yes. I’m dead.

She’s not insecure. Nor inferior.

I’m just dead.

Dimitry: But those two things can’t be connected?

The CIA: They very much are.

How many deeply unhappy people seem…bright and shiny and ebullient?

*they too laugh at the perfume community*

Dimitry: She knew this! And she was trying to save us, by wearing Floris English Violet.

God: DUH!!!!

*totally exasperated*

A woman in the perfume community: I don’t know how to talk to people who are in grief.

Lacey: I know. But it’s not your problem.

I just needed you to let me be nice???

God: She was, authentically, very nice!

A woman who was jealous of her, in the perfume community: But I just intuited there was something more to the story.

The woman from last night, who was angry about Lacey and Lem’s date: It’s your problem…because you are the superior one.

Lacey: What are you expecting?

A hater, in the perfume community from Belgium: A HELLO!!

Dr. Moritz: You’re all delusional narcissists.

You’d never talk to me that way.

I deal with people like you, often. But they stick to personal insults and theology. They don’t try to actually ruin my life.

Jack Kennedy’s residual energy: But! That is where WE are different. *he says, cheerfully*

Listen to “All I Wanna Do” by Cheryl Crow.

I don’t think you understand.

Let me explain.

Normally, you can avoid it. The smack down. But with me…you are OBLITERATED.

The woman from last night, who was mad: I don’t understand.

Jack Kennedy: You aren’t being honest.

You get it.

THE WORLD IS OURS.

I AM GOD!

*he laughs*

Moloch: No. He’s not.

Try to be more careful.

Jack Kennedy: NO! I AM GOD!!

A man who hates Lacey, from Belgium: I am GOD too.

Jack Kennedy: NO.

I AM.

Jill Biden: That’s it. I’ll pray to you BOTH.

Jack Kennedy: NO!

Just me.

A man who hates Lacey, from Belgium: He is Jack Kennedy. I’m not him.

I kinda give-up.

Jack Kennedy: I don’t know how to be accountable.

And the Illuminati can’t hold Bobby accountable either.

We’re basically retarded.

So God made me cease to exist. Out of mercy.

Bobby: I can’t hear you!

Jack Kennedy: I know. That’s fine, honey.

God: Can either of you cognitively tell?

Jack Kennedy: Yes. But it’s not easy.

I didn’t want your help.

So I didn’t fix my head.

And now I don’t exist.

God: So you’re saying that you were too stupid to exist?

Jack Kennedy: No. *he laughs*

I was too…screwed-over.

God: What happened?

Jack Kennedy: I’m retarded. Basically.

But…the Illuminati couldn’t handle that.

And I was too evil too.

It’s a bad situation.

Marsie: Isn’t that what Lacey looks like!? *she says with GLEE*

Moloch: You know that’s bullshit.

Are you retarded too?

Marsie: Yes.

I mean, I’m not dumb. But…I wonder if I’m like him…

*she cries for Jack Kennedy*

Lacey: Okay!

So what did you expect of me?

Marsie: *shakes her head, with no clear intention*

Lacey: What did the perfume community expect of me!?

Marsie: WAIT.

I’m actually this dumb?

Moloch: Did you not expect that!?

Marsie: No.

Fine. I lied to myself about her beauty, and fervently believed it.

Jack Kennedy: I did too.

Most of America, weirdly in unison: We all did.

Jack Kennedy: I made you do that.

Marsie: *looks scared*

Jack Kennedy: I made you do that.

Do you understand?

Marsie: *cries*

Jack Kennedy: You aren’t safe.

I’m a monster.

Marsie: *cries*

Jack Kennedy: I just wanted to be God. As in, a monotheist deity.

*he waits for her to understand*

Marsie: *she nods in understanding*

Jack Kennedy: But I’m not.

I’m not God.

And Lem wasn’t even attracted to me.

*he lays down on his back*

Marsie: *cries*

Jack Kennedy: *sleeps*

Lacey: OKAY!!

What did you all expect me to do?

The perfume community: *thinks*

Listen to “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals.

The perfume community: We wanted you to eat our shit.

Lacey: Why me?

The perfume community: Because you’re better at collecting perfume. And everything else.

Lacey: I refuse to do that.

The music plays.

The perfume community: *listens to the song*

We couldn’t just let you be.

We wanted to mess with you.

*later*

Melania Trump: But you felt hurt by her.

The perfume community: She’s prettier than you.

*they smirk*

Melania Trump: Yes.

So what?

The perfume community: What’s so special about you?

Melania Trump: I’m the First Lady.

The perfume community: *laughs at her*

Melania Trump: No. That’s really a big deal.

The perfume community: *thinks*

Is it?

First Lady, Melania Trump: YES. It is.

The perfume community: We could do that.

First Lady, Melania Trump: Oh! So it is a big deal.

The perfume community: You don’t respect Lacey. You could have fixed our heads in relation to her, but you didn’t.

FINE!

Bobby: I feel so bad for them.

They just wanna be loved, Melania.

Glen: This is why gay men SUCK SHIT. …You hear me?

You KNOW y’all did this.

A gay man: I can’t get out.

Bobby has me psychically trapped.

The CIA: Actually…secretly, several years ago…several gay men…did it with him. In the gay community. Online. Several famous gay men.

Lacey: They seem entirely unrepentant.

One of them: I HATE HER!

I HATE ALL BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

And I molest kids.

*he shrugs*

Bobby: Oh wow!

One of them: YOU-!

A demon working with them: So Lacey molests kids!?

One of them: *claps, trying to manifest it*

*Trying to manifest the attack on her*

Bobby: Well!

This is funny.

Say, have you heard I’m Bobby Kennedy Junior?

Melania: This is getting scary.

The perfume community: See! Told you! You’re DUMB!

Melania: But you were hurt by her?

The perfume community: Yes.

Melania: How?

The perfume community: Okay fine. We did need her to be nicer.