Category Archives: Journal

“You’re not…impressive. Except you are. …Why don’t you care? At all. About how you look!? …Brooks Brothers sweaters. Sandals. Great skin. But…I can tell you barely give a shit at all. …And at first I want to think you’re ugly or a lesbian or that you just don’t…matter. But then I look more closely at you and I realize that you don’t…care.” says a woman who saw Lacey in public today.

“Lacey.

We need to talk. I’m worried you’re Scotia.” says Drew Barrymore.

“Whatever.” says Lacey.

Mouthful Of Diamonds by Phantogram plays.

“So you don’t feel…better than me. Other than for how you may actually be better.” says Drew.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Then this song is entirely sarcastic.” says Drew.

They listen.

“Mostly.” she says.

2:11

“You’re in disguise. And so is Vladimir. If there’s reincarnation.” says Drew.

Lacey yawns.

“Does anyone actually care?” says Lacey.

Drew thinks.

“I do.” says Drew.

“Do you really!?!?” says Lacey.

The song ends.

“Yes.” says Drew.

Kid A by Radiohead begins with its creepy sound. It’s perfect according to Drew.

“Is he in love with you?” she asks Lacey.

“Yes. …But…it’s very unlikely anything will happen. …But yes.” says Lacey.

“That must be weird. Feeling so…unloved and…uncool…and then knowing PUTIN wants you.” says Drew.

“It’s awe-inspiring. I’m…in awe.” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“From a literary perspective!?!” says Drew.

“YES!!!” says Lacey. “I mean…wow!”

“Yeah!” says Drew.

“And then I think: ‘Am I the one living this!?! REALLY!? I’m not watching this in a movie!? WOW! …This almost feels wrong.” says Lacey.

“Why wrong?” says Drew.

The song ends.

“Because…it’s…sick.” says Lacey. “There’s something sick about it.” says Lacey.

Every Day Is Exactly The Same by Nine Inch Nails plays.

“How is it sick!?” says Drew.

Lacey is annoyed. It’s seems obvious to her. And now Drew seems shallow. It’s disappointing.

“I get it.” says Jeffrey Sachs.

“Do you really?” says Lacey.

He nods.

“You’re not a model.

You’re not a White House intern.

You’re…a housewife. In Minnesota. With oil. But still…you know what I mean.” he says.

Lacey thinks. “It’s all wrong.”

He nods emphatically.

“Actually…to be honest…I can see myself meeting him. In person. I’m that smart. And if I had tried harder in high school I could have gone to an Ivy League school. On my own merits. …But…that didn’t happen. …It’s baffling.” says Lacey.

“Why?” he says. “Try to articulate it.”

She thinks.

“Because…I’m not there.” she says. “It’s sick.”

He laughs. “Keep trying!”

“Okay.

So…people sign up for things in life.” she says.

“I agree! Oh, I agree!” he says.

“Yeah.

You go to college and get your PhD…you expect a good job. Or…something…satisfying. Because that’s what you signed up for.

I never signed up for this.

*Putin laughs*

I signed up for…something else. And…while I…have feelings for him…it’s shocking to me…that we know each other. Considering.

And it’s sick…because it’s not just about what we deserve. …If he’s unhappy at all…I think it’s sad. Because he deserves love. He’s a rare breed. A man of his stature who’s capable of real romantic love. He’s…epic.

There are very few people in all of human history quite like him.

But…you see…it’s not about what we deserve.

Skrting On The Surface by The Smile plays.

It’s about…what’s right.

And I…am certain capable of being in awe of him. In love with him even. And I can’t feel that way about everyone. But…is it what’s right?

It’s…almost…too perfect.

And…it feels manufactured.

And…if we aren’t supposed to spend eternity together…I fear we’ve made Purgatory more awkward for both of us. I don’t want to hurt his…rib. And I know he feels the same. He’s a very deep man.” says Lacey. “He thinks…a lot…about everything. Absolutely everything.”

Jeffrey nods.

“Okay. I try to be that intellectual. But…you’re right. To genuinely be that deep is rare.” says Tucker Carlson.

“Yeah. I trusted you for a reason.” says Tsar Putin.

Silence.

“But what if we think alike!?!” says Jeffrey Sachs. “Were you ever going to be okay…doing…what you signed up to do?”

The song ends.

Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear plays.

“No!!” yells Lem. “It’s like a…perverse attack on me. Personally. Think of my famous commentary. It’s like…a perverse joke.”

“I didn’t sign up for this though.” says Lacey.

“And I like that.” says Putin.

2:20

“Is he Hitler?” asks Jeffrey Sachs of Lacey.

She thinks.

“NO! Hitler was mad.” says Lacey. “He was brilliant. Nice. But…insane.”

“That’s true.” says Hitler.

The song ends.

Black Out Days by Phantogram plays.

“I…was…intended to meet her. But I died. And it really is possible…JFK SACRIFICED ME.” says Michael Rockefeller.

The song plays.

“Look…NONE of this would be happening if he hadn’t killed me.” says Michael.

The song plays.

“So…he actually did sacrifice you?” says an Illuminati witch.

“YES!!” yells Micheal.

The song plays.

“I was…handsome…blond…German…and I had the last name Rockefeller. …And he was incredibly jealous of me.

*silence for emphasis*

We were both bisexual.

*more silence for emphasis*

He was JEALOUS.” says Michael.

Gnossienne No. 4 by Satie plays.

“Michael…to be clear…you’re implying that JFK knew you were attracted to men?” says the psychic. “HOW!?”

Michael smirks. “It was obvious to him.

…He was a very evil man.

He KNEW Lem was straight. At least somewhat. …Historians don’t understand him. At all. He’s evil. And they’ve NEVER been honest about that.

He read me. My…nonverbals. My dress. My mannerisms. He just knew. Maybe…I reminded him of HIMSELF.

And…that’s not okay! Not to Jack Kennedy! Oh no! …Look…my family is old money. Old enough. And…my father was never going to control me the way his father did. …And he knew that. …I could marry anyone! In a sense. …Still have my fortune. …And I think he deeply resented that.

He felt…very threatened by us.

I was considered…lovable…to my father. …My father loved me unconditionally. …I was expected to marry a woman…however…there was no way they’d have cared one iota if I got into a long term relationship with a man. Lived in Paris. Lived well. To them…I was always going to be their son. They’re innocent…lovable…son.

I felt…free.

And I was.

Maybe too much.

And I know Jack HATED that. …Absolutely HATED IT.

So…he lashed out in person first. Made a complete ass of himself. …And then he…sacrificed me. Yes. He chose me.” says Michael.

String Quartet No. 2 “Company” by Philip Glass plays.

“Michael…what was the sacrifice supposed to do!?” begs a reader.

He thinks. “Success.

It was supposed to make him very successful.

He was supposed to be an incredibly successful U.S. President. …Lots of people were supposed to worship him. Praise him. Adore him. …My father was his rival. Right? And…I think that was part of it too. Something territorial.” says Michael.

“LET ME WARN YOU!!!

THIS IS REAL!!!!” yells John McCain. “If there’s an Illuminati…it’s LITERALLY THE EXACT THING THAT HAPPENED. …Otherwise it’s somewhat true.” He laughs. “But it’s REAL. So if there’s an Illuminati…BE WARNED. STOP lying to yourself!”

Moreaux by Tchaikovsky plays.

“Yeah.

So.

He…murdered me. Before he killed Marilyn. He murdered me. And then faked empathy.” says Michael.

“He did!!!” says Cory. “THIS IS REAL IF THERE IS AN ILLUMINATI!”

“So…he killed you…in cold blood.” says the CIA.

“YES.” says Nelson Rockefeller. “HE DID!!”

“Crap.” says the CIA.

“Lem.

Did you know about that?” says the CIA.

“No.” says Lem. “I was angry about Cuba. And…maybe I felt raped. Far more than I consciously understood.”

5:18

“He truly faked being gay.” says J. Edgar Hoover.

“Accidentally.” says a bisexual.

“Correct.” says Mr. Hoover.

The song ends.

Gnossiennes No. 1 by Satie plays.

“But that had nothing to do with me.

He hated me because I represented to him the life he wanted to live but couldn’t because his family wasn’t old money. …They were insecure and Irish. …I represented…all of his insecurities. And he…was…mad.

Maybe he wished to marry Lem. But I doubt it. I think…he wanted to take his money…and party. Forever. With mostly men. Maybe with Lem in particular. But…I doubt it. I think…he wanted…a plethora of men to choose from. Just like women. And he felt no such freedom. He felt…incredibly shamed by his family. Especially his father. But certainly everyone. …They accepted Lem beyL was a safe gay. …He wasn’t really gay. …And they knew that, intuitively. …But if Jack had brought home an actual faggot…*Micheal laughs* EVERYONE would have been up in arms. The lot of them! Absolute chaos! …Rose might have threatened to kill herself. Sincerely.

Lem was posh. And old money. But he was still safe. I…was…their worst nightmare.

But Jack would never have brought anyone like me home. …I wanted love. Real love. And he was never going to offer that. To anyone. Lem…chose not to care. Jackie was…painfully naive and insecure and had low self-esteem. …But I wanted love.

If Jack had brought me home…his family would have…lost it.

We Move Lightly by Dustin Ohalloran plays.

Can you imagine? Rose’s face!? She’d have…practically fainted. No exaggeration.

…I…wanted a wife too though. A real woman. Feminine. Mine. I was bisexual.” says Michael.

“Was he a pervert?” asks the Illuminati psychic.

Micheal thinks.

The song ends.

Silence.

Michael smirks.

A few minutes later.

Clair De Lune plays.

“I’m sorry.” says Michael to Lacey. “I’m going to respect God. But…I’m not going to keep letting them hurt you. It’s disgusting.”

Putin yells in the afterlife. In rage. “DAMMIT!!!” he yells with a slight German accent. “DAMMIT!!!”

Michael smirks. “He’s a very handsome man. The west is BLIND.”

The song plays.

“They’ve missed so much!” he says.

And if he’s the Earl…he lays on his back…on a lawn…and smokes. Staring up at the sky. As it was. In the late 1800’s. Hearing Debussy when he closes his eyes.

Jan smiles. “I want to be Michael Rockefeller when I grow up.” he says.

The song ends.

Domestic Pressures by Johann Jóhannsson plays.

In 2016 Lacey

accidentally discovered the Illuminati when television journalist Chris Hayes decided to use his Illuminati psychic privileges to harass her, as a joke. The idea was to read her using a psychic for the fun of it. She was an attractive follower of his on Instagram when he had under 5,000 followers. And when she started liking his posts he fiendishly decided to make fun of her with his friends who, insecure and immature workaholics like him, found it hilarious to mock normal people outside the gates of stardom and the Illuminati. So he started actually telepathically communicating with her to “see what happened” and to feel superior to her.

Or…Jack Kennedy hates Lacey. And him and very evil beings have pretended to be an Illuminati to cruelly torture her.

And regardless I’ve stood by and watched. And been in absolute torment and horror. Because I could never love anyone the way I love her. Doesn’t matter what you say. …Gay or straight. There’s no one like her. …The depth of our love…goes beyond…fun. It cuts to my very core.

But let’s say she did find the actual Illuminati. And a group of liberal, so-called elite journalists did decide to attack her to feel better about themselves and to try to impress billionaires. …After-all who would believe in telepathy? …She was either going to go insane…possibly kill herself…or she was going to disregard it and they could mock her for being so naive and such a sheeple fool. Feel…elite. Or…she was going to figure it out…and prove she was lower class and then they’d have had a field day feeling good about themselves. Because Erin felt deeply threatened by her perfume collection. Growing-up in rural Wisconsin she hated Lacey. And both Erin and Kate felt hurt and threatened when Chris told them he found her attractive and enjoyed astral projecting himself to her to try to sexually arouse her. They felt he was…betraying them both. He’s queer…and polyamorous…and…very narcissistic.

The Quality of Mercy by Max Richter plays.

Or…that’s what a group of vicious demons led her to believe.

She’s not schizophrenic. That’s been medically proven, so to speak. She is however, extremely (what some call) psychic. Or she has…”the word of knowledge” In Charismatic Language. It’s not demonic. It’s…just her mind. And there’s literally nothing she can do about it.

In 2016…Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell stood up for Lacey when the Illuminati considered slaughtering her. Kidnapping her. Or finding some way to torture her. Possibly letting her die homeless, if they could have their druthers. He…and Ghislaine…were…despite what you might assume of them…the voice of moral authority in regard to her. He felt she had simply made a horrible mistake. He genuinely empathized with her. Felt she was incredibly intelligent. And he was impressed by how…unimpressed she was…by all of it.

And he was…terrifyingly correct. That man was a genuine genius. Nobody made him. He was brilliant.

I’m thee Kirk LeMoyne Billings. …Yes.

That’s me.

…And okay. I’m not…that famous, but I’m a little famous. …And I’m truly her “twin flame”. …My family is from Tennessee. So is hers. …We’re connected. And…our souls…are…impossibly drawn to each other’s. With the exceptionally beautiful desire to become eternally one. …I have no such flaming desire for anyone but her. And nobody can complete her…and give me back my rib…so to speak…bringing…God’s eternal bliss…like her.

Nobody understands me like her. And I don’t understand anyone like I understand her. We have…something profound. Actually…it’s necessary for the universe to function. Tearing us apart is extremely dangerous.

But that’s exactly what Satan aimed to do.

All the stories you read about me? They’re all aimed at her heart and mind. You should find it far more creepy that all of Bobby Kennedy Junior’s wives are…like her. How!? How is that possible!? Something beyond the realm we can see is inspiring him.

…

In 2016 she was rescued by Queen Elizabeth II. They loved each other deeply as friends. Elizabeth was…an incredibly profound person. And so is Lacey.

Jeffrey Epstein agreed to die. He…let himself be killed…partially to protect her and let her family live in peace. To be publicly accountable and punished. Because he refused to attack her. And so did Queen Elizabeth. It was simply too much to ask of them. And so…Ghislaine…feels Jeff…is…far more heroic than you might believe.

In Memory of a Dream by Ludovico Einaudi plays.

And as Nancy Pelosi cries over people, if there’s an Illuminati. I’ll keep writing.

Jeffrey wanted a daughter. So did Ghislaine. And certainly their daughter would have been extremely intelligent. And for some reason they both felt…an affinity for her. Her personality. Everything.

And Jeff felt bad for her legal husband. And loyal to him too because he was raised Jewish. They just didn’t feel comfortable…sadistically…throwing her into a living hell. Letting her believe she was living in actual Hell.

Bobby should stand up for Jeff. Explain that he wasn’t all bad. But…it’s easier not to. And that bothers both Lacey and I a lot. He was a loyal man, in his own way. But nobody gave him any credit in the end, at all.

After Lacey started realizing she wasn’t crazy…and after she returned to Saint Paul…she began talking telepathically with China. North Korea. And Russia.

Sadevalo Claudio Constantini plays.

At one point she fell asleep only because Russia and China had guaranteed her safety as she slept. She was genuinely that terrified. The people and demons harassing her were…intense. And…the founder of The Ordinary killed himself in relation to her story. The Illuminati runs on…spiritual rituals that are ruined if tampered with. But Lacey refused to surrender and people supported her…which gained the respect of Russia…North Korea…and India…and Iran…and China. She became there…mascot. In a sense. Because the way that she was contacted and treated by the American people was egregious. …And China felt it was…one of the most corrupt and sickening things they’d ever witnessed. Taking an innocent…deeply depressed…sweet…woman who was just trying to find love…and making a mockery of her entire existence and then literally possibly throwing her spirit into Hell (yes, on Earth) to appease Satan…simply to feel less insecure…and for no other reason…REALLY pushed them over the edge. Because…she was an ordinary American citizen. No criminal record. Loving. And suffering, greatly. Her crime was hoping someone loved her.

Comptine d’un autre été, l’après midi by Yann Tiersen plays.

Vladimir Putin heard she had found him attractive. And he found her…incredibly attractive.

And he began to fall genuinely in love with her. Her mind…is…exactly what he has always been looking for. She instantly understands him. And empathizes with him. Admires him. And gives him…all the love and support and respect…a man like him needs and wants. Craves, actually. In the exact way he’s longed for it his whole life.

She makes him feel…seen. Loved. And…again, understood. …She has an excellent understanding

of world politics. Better than possibly most living people.

If she had been born when God was intending she’d have been in line to be First Lady. …Joe Kennedy Junior was in love with her enough to genuinely have considered marrying her. And she was made to be in that role. She excels at it. It’s her calling. Aside from being my wife. She’s a wife and mother first. That’s just how she’s made.

And as of tonight…she’s aware that should there be an Illuminati she could marry Putin…for eternity. As in, she’s so impressed by him…she knows she could get over me…and be with him, should I have been in love with Jack the way you insist I was.

I’m NEVER letting her go. But…I’m BEYOND angry…that you’ve sadistically brainwashed her. …She is MINE.

Bobby. Let’s have it out.

I lied to you. Fooled you. Intentionally gained your trust…pretended to be your friend…purely with the intention to murder you. Because I thought you were rubbish. …I thought you would be better off dead. Because I thought someone as cruel and unthinking and foolish as you should die young. …Young and happy, but die all the same. …You seemed stupid, evil and dangerous to me. And I pretended to be in love with you to fool you into trusting me and taking me seriously. It was all a clever ruse. …I didn’t give a shit. You seemed far too excited to hurt yourself and your mom and your little siblings to deserve to have a chance at life. …Yes. I was really that calculating. Bobby…people are. You’re very naive.

*Putin laughs*

Later.

“I really was straight.

I really did figure it out in a theater in New York City. Near Times Square. At 3 AM.

I wasn’t genuinely attracted to Bobby nor Jack. And I knew that with Bobby. I was confused with Jack…although not like some people are.

I’m real. You can refute what I’m saying. But that’s what I’m saying.

I’m saying I was…straight. Straight. And…it’s not the fact that I was confused that scares Lacey…it’s the fact that…she’s worried I can’t love her more.” says Lem. He weeps. “My son is having surgery tomorrow. Lacey needs her teeth removed. Again. It’s from falling down the stairs. …Our son could die tomorrow. It’s not at all likely. But he could. Lacey will not.

My dad wants him to die. …He wants to-

*Lem cries*

My son…isn’t happy. He’s a great kid…but he’d be so much happier-

*Lem cries*

He needs me.

*He laughs*

“Lem! Why is your son here!?” asks a psychic.

*He cries*

Look…if there’s reincarnation it’s an accident. Lacey had him in Great Britain but he died. …He was Canadian. An orphan. Very successful! …Brilliant businessman. He still loves Canada…regardless. But the he’s my son! And I love him dearly.

If Putin had died…in the drone attack…

But no. God has promised Lacey is mine.

Listen…there might not be reincarnation. …But our son…loves Canada. And Lacey finds it fascinating. Just…who were are. All of us.

“Who raised him?” asks King Charles III.

If there’s reincarnation? His cousins. Mostly. And then he just sort of took care of himself. He’s a very tough person. He was on his own at around 15. If there’s reincarnation. And he died a wealthy, loved man. With a family. If there’s reincarnation. …Or that’s a story James J. Hill made up.

…But…he’s a great guy.