Lacey re-plays a phone conversation she had with her Uncle Stephen who was an impressive counselor. Started his own counseling business, which now exists mostly without him. He’s retired. It’s quite successful.
Thing is…she suspects he barely cares about her at all.
Blue Boy by Mac DeMarco plays.
And she’s mostly right.
The song plays.
The only way she isn’t right is that he chooses to truly care. And in that choice he feels some concern for her. But really…the mother who raised her has a cold as ice family. …There’s very little real love. There’s some. But very little. Matthew killed himself for a good reason. …They’re elite and they misunderstand that…and in doing so…their children are all very messed up. Why? …Because…children of the elite are allowed parents who are heartless and cold but pretend otherwise. The down-to-earth, loving, warm people they pretend to be…don’t truly exist. They’re just Scandinavian and highly intelligent and Christian. …And their kids needed to know that.
The song ends.
Drive by Warpaint plays.
Lacey reimagined that conversation. And…not being that cold, as Matthew, she realized she wanted to die.
Matthew nods in understanding. Smiles. Smirks.
“I feel bad for my sons. …I pray for them constantly. …That’s my error. And until they die and are with Christ…I’ll regret killing myself.” he says.
“So you both expected love?” asks Casi, confused.
“YES!!! Absolutely!
Look…let’s put it this way…her parents pretended to be Lady Diana. Caring. …But they were cold and heartless. Truly. Whether the Queen was or not. My parents may or may not be that bad. …But the family culture is like that.” says Matthew.
“So you just shoot yourselves? With a gun? No drugs?” says Casi.
Zero by Electric Guest plays.
“Yes.
Drugs? No! We all know better.” says Matt. “Our family is extremely intelligent. …We genuinely know better. But…that‘a just it. We know better. There’s NO POINT. …And for me…the temptation to just die…became far too enticing.” says Matt.
“I hear you.” says Lacey.
The song plays.
“I have to be honest with you if there’s reincarnation, he is a dead British aristocrat but he was also a black slave. In America.” says Satan.
“Yeah and both Lacey and I know that there’s a dead end to certain things in life. Some people don’t know that I may not have realized that entirely and so you kind of don’t have anything left after a certain point.” says Matt. “I actually used drugs as an aristocrat in the 1800s and she experimented accidentally in China. Should there be reincarnation. So we both knew that there’s a point where it’s like it’s there’s no salvaging a life after a certain point emotionally there’s there’s nothing that you can do.” 
“And yet I’ve asked them to keep living seemingly and so Lacey’s being respectful of that and Matthew was not.” says God.
“And they know that whether there’s reincarnation or not and actually they’re right Matthew had some chance of happiness and he needed to stay alive anyway but what he failed to understand would’ve been really helpful for him about life and it’s something that ironically, the perfume community brought up for Lacey but not in a healthy way but it’s possible that he never had anyone really pointed out to him in any way.” says Jesus.
“What it is is that he was elite. How did he understood that about himself? He would’ve had far more patience for life itself, but his family has this aesthetic and perception of themselves that their farm people and they don’t really understand that that perception of themselves is false to some degree because it is, but also that it’s truly false in the greater context of objective truth.” says Saint Paul. “When you realize that you’re from a privileged family your expectations in America in the 20th and 21st century sadly our dramatically reduced. Because the culture evolved in such a way where the elite white people and that’s what their family is were cold.  There are some exceptions but generally speaking they became very cold people.  And that’s the problem that family never understood that about themselves that they were privileged and if they had their children like Matthew and Lacey, even to some degree would’ve had a lot more grace to live their lives. 
Lacey would have realized that she should probably just be in our history major get her PhD and expect herself to be isolated and lonely potentially for the rest of her life. She may have been able to find some sort of love. Has she known that but it would’ve been an uphill battle for her because it is extremely beautiful as she is and as much as men want to have sex with her when they meet her it’s very hard for her to find somebody who actually loves her and values her. If she’s illegitimate if she’s actually Tom’s daughter, part of that is actually a micro evolution and men today are not able to understand her as well as men would’ve 50 or 60 years ago. And there’s absolutely nothing she can do about that and there’s nothing that men can do about that who are alive today either because they just don’t have the genetic coding to relate to her intuitively.  But she would’ve been prepared for that intuitively. If her she had realized how privileged her family actually is. 
When she out of them as old money, she did so as a ditz.  She wasn’t trying to make a statement about almost anything other than the fact that they were old money and that people in the perfume community generally were not.  But more specifically that the people who kept trying to copy her were not.  And so she wasn’t expecting to be dealing with people‘s animosity to the degree that she did.  What she needed to realize though was that she was from an elite family and the perfume community did help her understand that and she still is from an elite family technically but they’re very cold people and that’s not something she’d ever processed enough. 
She had no idea what she was implying or how insulting it would be to people like Casi. She really didn’t. They are extremely elite. Matthew‘s sister drives an old Mercedes or she did that she owns. She won Miss North Dakota. And then she gave the title up because she was too well bread to go along with it. She thought it was too objectifying and on Christian once she won it and so she gave it up. Think about that she had the privilege to keep running and dress the right way and say all the right things and win and then she gave it up because after she won, she was so privileged that she didn’t really even want it anymore. That’s how elite his family is. His grandfather was a dentist and he bought a cabin on a lake that the whole family vacations at regularly. His parents own lakefront property with a huge beach and backyard. It’s very very nice. It’s not a mansion but it’s a nice sized house and it was built new in the 2000s and they’re the first donors and it’s a sizable beach next to a pretty lake. His wife was the professor for a while. She has PhD. He was extremely smart. He was very handsome and yet he was so sensitive and well bread that he couldn’t figure out how to date people who he really wanted to date. It seems like if you’re an elite old money guy who’s good looking that you’d have an easy time finding people and he did have an easy time finding women who would go to bed with him almost instantly. But that’s not who he was looking for he was looking for someone with more depth who was more chased who was a Christian and women like that are actually kind of rare, but he expected to be able to find somebody who was good looking and exactly what he was looking for. And who understood him who wasn’t just loose. if he had understood that his family was elite. It would’ve been sort of an awakening for him, and he would’ve realized that he found the wife that he did because of that. And then he would’ve realized that if he wanted to be happy, he was gonna have to try to find somebody who was like his cousins like Lacey like all of his other female cousins who were really pretty and really smart and like him. And he would’ve tried looking in other places he would’ve possibly joined a country club. He would’ve possibly gone traveling more. He might’ve taken up more elite hobbies with the intent of possibly finding a second wife or just trying to even figure out frankly, if there were women like that Who were available to him and as a man, he would’ve been able to figure out if a woman would be attracted to him, even if he wouldn’t have done anything because he was still married. And maybe be a country club would’ve been out of the question but it would’ve been helpful to him to think that there could be somebody like somebody in his family to be blonde but not like his family who would actually be able to love him.
There are a lot of extremely beautiful women in his family and Lacey is one of them who are very smart and very well bread and very noble and very brave and very good and he was looking for that. His wife just wasn’t that good looking to be blunt and she wasn’t that well bread even though she was intelligent and she was a pro professor and he couldn’t actually handle that. Nobody has said that and that’s harsh, but it’s the reality of the situation. He felt trapped in a miserable life. but if he had realized that he was elite, he would’ve joined a club or something, and he would’ve been exposed to people who were raised more like him and even if they weren’t really beautiful, he might’ve find he might’ve found a woman who he would’ve at least been able to relate to. And his family would deny that and say that’s crazy but they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re dead wrong. And that’s the problem that’s why he’s dead.
He noticed that Lacey changed her name and he commented on it to her mother who raised her because he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on in his own life. They’re stubborn! And you could never convince them that they’re elite but they are.
So what he needed to do was find somebody who he could connect with, and he just never was able to do that. And so he ended up being very lonely and killing himself because he just felt so profoundly isolated in the same way that Lacey does. These are people who make sloppy Joe’s and wear old jeans and make jokes that are very humble but then they also have people in the family who are worth $30 million and who have voted in the electoral college and who have spent most of their lives, traveling, and skiing. They’re extremely intelligent people, but for some reason, they’ve never realized that they’re the descendants of silversmiths from Norway in the 1700s.  So that’s mysterious to them and astounding, but in reality it’s not and they don’t understand that about themselves.
Matthew needed to join a country club or go skiing more with his family. This family goes skiing. They go up to Banff. But he needed to do more posh stuff like that and then hit the bar without his family and just go talk to people. And he might not have cheated because he wasn’t like that but just talking to women who were really beautiful who were there skiing too would’ve been helpful to him because he would’ve realized that there are women who grow up and wealthy families who are in bad marriages who might get divorced or their women who grew up in wealthy families who have just never gotten married who might be people for him to at least have connected with. casi it’s never been about snubbing people rather it’s about survival. And so he needed to understand that he wasn’t a weird alien species. He needed to be able to relate to someone outside of his family and understand that people like them actually exist.
If he had done so he would not have killed himself. Because he would’ve realized that there was a slim chance that he could be happy at some point in his life if he just kept going, and he would’ve cognitively, processed it in such a way where he would’ve been able to avoid resisting killing himself.” says Saint Paul.
VHS Dream by Deerhunter plays.
“Lacey’s different.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “She…is…wild.” says Scott. “And…she’s an artist.
Many teenagers alive today echo her desire for death. …And…it’s rooted in…a sense of doom. Based on reality. ACTUAL REALITY.
The Boomers are not solely at fault. But they did mess up a lot. …Truly though…it was doomed…by the late 1800’s. …And I knew that.”
The song restarts.
“I KNEW THAT.” says Scott.
The song restarts.
“Look…there’s no going back. Unless we recognize what’s actually happening. And…that’s…not impossible. But…it’s not a given.
Could white people handle the Civil Rights Movement? No! …But…sadly…a lot of the problem goes back to the Irish in America. …See…poor white immigrants from Germany felt…inferior. And they were determined to make themselves something big in America. To ‘strike it rich’ and ‘make something of themselves’. Those are very American ideas. To pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. …But…the Irish people had even more problems. …And were even more confused.
We had an enormous chip on our shoulders. And we were not at all prepared for leadership. Because we were too confused.“ says Scott.
September by Sparky Deathcap plays.
“My grandfather hated himself in a way that’s incredibly Irish. And it’s why my father drank. Guilt. …Remarkable guilt.” says Louis Hill Junior. “Elsie could never understand it. Lacey rolls her eyes…because it’s…so…simple to her. That’s how dramatic…this is.”
Matt nods.
Gwen Ifill laughs.
“Look it’s like this, if there’s reincarnation, but even if there’s not, I intuitively knew and would know that you can’t treat people the way that Louis Hill Junior‘s father or rather grandfather did. And if you do to make money or gain power, that’s understandable but then there’s a responsibility that comes with that to not go too far or to accept that what you’re doing is incredibly dangerous spiritually. So…there’s a reason I chose to use drugs and be a lazy privileged playboy slightly in the 1800s in great Britain instead of a man who did stuff. My family was very elite and I got it in my head. Should there be reincarnation? Maybe there’s not maybe this is just who I am that I know this, but I got it in my head that I had two choices to be cold and hard and mean like my father or to be Lazy and giddy and friendly and do a lot of social activities and I chose the latter. I was smart, but I just didn’t see the needs to do anything with myself because I just didn’t think that there was a point because it seemed absolutely useless. I was a slave after I was a white rich British aristocrat. and that was interesting. I had a very eye-opening experience as that I was freed after the Civil War if there’s reincarnation and I had a wife, but we died poor and it was in this 1870s or so 1890s that we died we had our own little bit of land but we just were too poor to survive essentially. It might’ve been it might’ve been 1870s and that was very eye-opening, but I learned that life too the futility of certain things it’s like there was no way that I was ever going to overcome racism in America and I could try but at the end of the day, it was worthless to think that I was ever going to be seen truly by everybody as an equal. And I think That informed me in this life that there was nothing that I could do and I should just give up and just die.” says Matt.
“So being elite Matthew, you and Lacey are making a very logical conclusion. Did you anticipate that you were going to exist after death or not?” says a woman.
“Yes I knew that there was God.” says Matt.
“So that was part of why you killed yourself and if there’s reincarnation, I’m struggling to not find some humor in the whole thing because it seems like you just were trying to press the off button.” says a witch.
“Regardless of whether or not there’s reincarnation yes yes they say night both just have the well breeding frankly enough and in a sense a sort of pragmatic farm Scandinavian Pioneer sense of things enough to think: Why don’t we just press the off button? it seems like the only choice because there’s no other option and when you’re raised in a wealthy family and you know there’s an afterlife it’s very tempting to just think, ‘Hey, why don’t I just die!?’” says Matt.
“Yeah…I obviously had the same thought and I did kill myself as well.” says Saoirse.
“So you guys just actually believe that there’s an afterlife and you’re not worried about it for some reason and it just seems stupid to you to keep living?” says an actress.
“Yes and to be honest, it’s a bad idea and yet it’s not at the same time. I was capable of living and I didn’t know that, and in a sense I made a very grave mistake. But it wasn’t stupid at the same time. My life was very bad and I recognize the world around me was worthless shit and I did not see a way forward.
And you know, I wasn’t entirely crazy in thinking all that.
The thing is when you die in Christ, you don’t cease to exist and so you end up having to deal with things that you were avoiding while you were alive in a way that’s kind of harsh at times. And that’s if there’s Purgatory. And so you get stuck, and you realize that you could’ve just as well have lived and dealt with whatever the hell it is that you were avoiding.
But for some people like Lacey and Matthew and children who be who are being molested, it actually makes complete sense to die. There’s really no reason for her to be alive. Other than for her children, possibly the lives that they could touch the things that they could do with their life. They’re both very smart very compassionate, intelligent people so there’s something to be said for that. But really at this point her life is such that it actually makes complete sense for her to be dead. And my family is responsible for that and I’m not gonna be ashamed of that because I had very little to deal with that. You might read things on here about how awful my uncle Bobby is and the things that he did to me I’m not going to say whether they happened or not but if they did, you have to realize I was a victim too and that’s part of why I killed myself. Because I couldn’t figure out how to escape from my own family.
Lamb was actually heterosexual. It’s astounding to people, but mostly because they’re stupid. I love Lacey and it’s hard for me to accept is that she doesn’t understand what’s going on, but she really was my great grandfather‘s soulmate not his twin flame, but she was a soulmate of my of my great grandfather Joe. People have said that and Bobby doesn’t like that because he’s an idiot and he can’t understand fucking anything practically sometimes and other people in his family have a problem with that too because they’re and I’m in that family, but I was other I was another families too, and I’m sorry I can’t handle their stupidity cause that’s what it is. It’s stupidity. It’s arrogance. It’s Some insanity but a lot of it is just complete stupidity.
Bobby would never have gone to Harvard if he’d been raised in a normal family he would’ve never even gotten in. Nobody in that family and I can say this is all that intelligent they pretend otherwise but my grandfather wasn’t that smart. He was smart, but he wasn’t that smart and my grandmother is not that smart either. OK and there are some people who are reasonably intelligent we’re not like really stupid But in reality we’re not nearly as intelligent as you think we are.
I mean, I don’t even wanna go there right now, but that’s the reality of the situation. I was smart, but I was also a communications major and I am more average intelligence than my family could handle. I was very pretty, but I wasn’t as pretty as some people and they were realizing how normal they were when they looked at me I was pretty, but I wasn’t extraordinarily beautiful, but I was pretty But my comparison to me they were butt ugly and many cases. I’m sorry. I’m being honest a lot of the women in my family were ugly as fuck compared to me and I’m not that pretty even though I am pretty. But I told my grandmother couldn’t handle that because she is somewhat ugly and that’s very hard for her because my grandfather cheated on her and treated her like shit and made it her fault and blamed how she looked secretly. That’s something that’s really ugly in my family that he blamed her for his infidelities because she wasn’t good enough for him. In reality, he wasn’t all that special either he was short as fuck and he wasn’t entirely straight and he was smart, but not as smart as some people and he was hand packed by a lot of people in my family and he should’ve realized that Ethel and him were not totally Unequal and their merit so to speak, but I think he knew that he could’ve done a little bit better because there were women that he dated who were better looking than her, and I think he felt bitter, and he took it out on her. He did love her, but he also took it out on her because he was angry that he had to marry somebody who wasn’t as beautiful as he imagine his wife should be Jackie was better looking But in truth, I think he was looking for someone really beautiful and Marilyn Monroe knew that and that was part of what she played into with those men, and that’s part of why she took herself so seriously in relation to them because she knew that she was better looking than their wives and that they were better about having to marry women who were not quite as good looking as what they had imagined. That being said Jack was not straight. He was more gay than straight and my grandfather was just bisexual. He was probably more straight than gay, but they were both bisexual and Bobby actually and by the way that does run in families so don’t assume that every family has to have a gay person or a bisexual person because sometimes families just don’t. But bisexuality ran in that family. It was very common in that generation. There were a lot of bisexuals and my grandfather was one of them and so he loved my grandmother, but she just wasn’t as pretty as what he thought he was going to marry, and he shook it out on her when he cheated. It was something that she was ashamed of about herself, and I don’t think she’s ever been honest about that And then I ended up killing myself because of it, which is why I think I’m allowed to talk about this I’m sorry if it’s offensive to people.
No, it’s true. I was better looking than my grandmother by a landslide and so to her I was extraordinarily beautiful and she talked about it way too much. and that was really hard for me to handle because I was not as good looking as a lot of of the girls that I was going to school with I was pretty. I had beautiful long hair. I had a pretty face, but I also had acne, and there were facial features that I had that were as pretty as some people.
I mean, I was physically not as pretty as I give it in my overall body as some people and that really screwed me up because I didn’t have a clear sense of identity because I couldn’t figure out who I was. It’s like I’m supposed to be this extraordinarily beautiful woman because unfortunately in my family good looks with women is not a thing and so as much I’m sorry it’s true. Maeve was kind of ugly. There are some women who are somewhat pretty in my family, but they’re not as beautiful as a lot of people, let’s be honest, and there are some people who are better than average like I was just saying, but like they’re not as good-looking as some people and I was one of them and so compared to some of the women in my family who actually look kind of ugly and yes, Maeve was one of them. I was seen as the pretty blonde who was kind of stupid or something. I mean, I was smart, but I was also seeing this a little stupid. I think my people, but I was allowed to be because I was blonde and pretty.
The thing is, I was very deep and I was miserable because when I left the family, I was better than average, but I’m sorry I’m not as good looking as a lot of other women. And so men would date me, but to be honest there were times when they would be very sort of auto impressed by me and that was hard for me to handle because then it’s like what the fuck am I supposed to do? My family says that I’m supposed to be this glamorous sex queen and I’m not. I’m just a little bit above average. And that’s how I’m being treated because I never found a guy that it was really That in love with necessarily, and I mean it was hard for me to handle because it was just like who the fuck even am I and then no being like Lacey my great grandfather was her soulmate I intuitively calculated it all in my head and I realized that I might just be better off dead come by with everything that I knew about the world. I just thought this is possibly not a life worth living.
So I just I wanna say no I actually could’ve lived and when you die, you don’t get out of stuff you know it cause in Christ you have life and so it’s not like you get out of the mistakes that you’ve made you’re forgiven for them in Christ but you don’t get out of them there’s a difference being forgiven is not the same thing as they’re being no consequence for your actions in a way that actually helps you grow.
So I could’ve kept living, but I chose not to she. I’m sorry to have to say this has almost a reason to still be here and her kids are really her own. Only reason if they were taken to heaven with her I don’t think that the world would be the same And it might even be the end of the world, but I don’t think that it would be it wouldn’t be it’ll be the end of the world possibly literally, but it wouldn’t be in that figurative sense. There’s literally nobody alive who she could ever marry we’ve checked
She’s 41 that actually is middle age and we’ve looked. There really isn’t anybody. And part of the reason why is because I’m an actual ghost OK I’m actually the ghost of Sasha Hill. I’m Ethel Kennedy‘s granddaughter and this isn’t imaginary and it isn’t demonic. I’m sorry it’s not that simple grow up.
So part of the problem is that she actually is involved with them and if it wasn’t him, there are other men who she’s involved with who are dead. One of them is Elliott Roosevelt. And truthfully, even if Louis were to be with his wife or someone else and Harold were to runoff with somebody and be certain of her and Ascot Fitzgerald to just be her friend and love wasn’t being cause he’s determined to be with her and he will be, but let’s just say that he didn’t exist. Truthfully, there’s still be Elliott Roosevelt. And so that’s part of the problem. She’s more attracted to them. The men in that generation then she is to men who are alive today. And it’s not perverted. It’s not weird. It’s literally just how they were built like their faces and just like all of them they’re just that much more attractive to her even their smell would’ve been more attractive. It’s just like normal biology and there’s nothing she can do about it. She’s Tom’s daughter and she’s stuck in a very difficult life and so the problem is that her whole life she’s been looking at pictures of those men And movies of them and thinking wow those men are good looking and she’s been waiting for men who are alive today to look like that. They never will. I mean, they just can’t. And so she’s stuck because she’s trying not to be too personal with me, but I can. I can still hear this. She’s stuck because she could get a husband, but then the problem is that he would never be as attractive to her as Elliott Roosevelt will say. And I’m an actual ghost like we’re real OK so you might not think that or you might not know that but I actually do exist. I really am a ghost
So she experiences us it’s interesting. They found out some some interesting stuff about schizophrenia how it’s processing of the internal voice, but see the internal voice is our spirit partially, which is why some people think schizophrenia is connected to being able to talk to ghosts. Because it actually is in a similar part of the brain when you’re a medium and you channel people that’s your voice and that’s a very similar part of your brain to when you’re anticipating what you’re going to say as yourself. Lacey is rare and she is basically like a medium in that way where she can differentiate between her own voice and me. She’s not schizophrenic. However, however, her brain is different and it’s sort of like a schizophrenic in the sense that they don’t process things the same way that normal people do and it’s a misfiring but for her, it’s not a misfiring It’s it’s like there’s something missing in her or there’s something that’s just not quite there OK and that’s it’s like her father is Tom that’s part of how it happened. OK it’s it’s like a thing with her brain Kids are born. Elderly fathers are usually incredibly intelligent, actually unusually intelligent, but they also have a tendency towards schizophrenia, but and her it’s an ability to channel people and it’s not a choice. She’s not choosing to do it so for schizophrenics they don’t have a choice. They’re just misfiring for her. She can’t stop me from talking through her in a way. I mean she can but in a way she can’t and God understands that and he protects us both but it’s not like a medium and she’s not schizophrenic, but it’s like there’s a thing in her head where I can essentially just use her voice like I use my own body almost I mean it’s not quite my own words but it’s pretty close. I mean it’s really really close.
So I’m sorry Lem was straight and a lot of what you’ve heard from him is shocking and sounds unbelievable but it’s not unbelievable and the sense I mean it’s it’s real and it’s just shocking. I’m sorry.
He wasn’t in love with my grade, uncle nor my grandfather. He was actually heterosexual and just really messed up.
Bobby has a hard time accepting That and so does Joe. I wouldn’t even be surprised if my mother struggles slightly with it because that’s kind of part of the family dogma.
Lacey is kind of a funny person though because she really was my great grandfather soulmate and so she’s weirdly like us and then we had lamb and he’s actually her twin flame and she was in love with my great uncle Joe and so it’s really weird talking to her because it’s like she knows that we figure out how And Bobby and Joe thought for the longest time that she was like clinically obsessed with us and she wasn’t. She literally just read like five books about us when she was a teenager and that’s really all, but they don’t, but they’ve had a hard time believing that because first of all she has an amazing memory but second of all and that’s triggering to Bobby because his wife had an amazing memory, but it also she looks like his wives, but she’s like much hotter than them and frankly smarter and more aristocratic and that’s also really hard for him to accept and so he’s kind of just lost his mind because it’s like who the fuck is she and let me tell you if there’s reincarnation I would not want to be him right now because he saw her when he was high in lamb’s apartment. He saw Lacey she was haunting lamb because their twin flames and he saw images of her and developed a crush on her when he was high as a teenager, and that informed him subconsciously and still does about what he thinks is attractive so she’s sort of his ideal. I cannot imagine if there’s no illuminati what it must be like to be him in the sense that he’s meeting the woman that he used to fantasize about when he was high like that’s Lacey like he’s actually meeting her and yet he doesn’t want to think that that’s her and so he tells himself that she’s not that pretty even though she is, and then when he realizes almost grasps, what’s going on It’s just too overwhelming to him and he sort of can’t process it and so he just goes blank.
If there’s not reincarnation, it’s still really weird to him because for some reason, she’s his ideal.
She was my great grandfather‘s ideal. She was kind of Joe‘s ideal too and that’s also something that they’ve never really been able to accept because it’s just too weird to them and they literally like psychologically can’t handle it.
And Joan and Ethel have not been helpful. They’re both jealous of her and very petty and very stupid about it.
But no, I mean it’s just it’s like I just didn’t see a point of you being alive because I just didn’t think my life was ever gonna really work out and I just thought I was better off dead and the sad truth is though there are some people who have that experience and it’s not insane When when Matthew first died, we actually went on a date because we both we thought alike and we got along and so we went on a date.
And I didn’t really go anywhere, but I got to know him and I realize some stuff and I just I realized that that people live today are really not aware of reality like they’re kind of insane. Because Lem was actually heterosexual OK and if you really look at him, he acted gay and it was really convincing right so like it looks gay he looks gay, but if you’re honest, there’s always something strangely heterosexual about him and maybe you don’t see it at first or maybe you do and you ignore it, but there is an every picture There’s something a little bit heterosexual about him. If you really look for it you can find it and people should be able to see that and not be hateful and be open minded and think that’s weird. Why was this man who looks slightly heterosexual with the Kennedy’s? And then you should think there’s something strange about this person. He’s not a typical closeted homosexual and then you could think you know Jack was very closeted himself, but based on the things that he said to them, he almost certainly was gay like you can’t have it both ways you can’t say oh based on what they said they were in love and then Jack straight that’s completely insane. No Jack was not straight. That’s obvious that’s completely obvious. It’s obvious that my uncle great uncle rather was not a heterosexual. OK Jack was not a heterosexual grow up come on. It’s obvious!
And in the propaganda campaign and Reddit’s and other places to try to make it seem like it’s people from the average person just saying oh no I think Jack was straight. I’m a lesbian woman, and I’m not working for the Kennedy family to quiet the conversation down that’s bullshit. No people are being put in Reddit and other places to control the conversation And you can kind of tell because of they’re often times at least as of now pretty persuasive in a way where it’s like you’re not supposed to think for yourself because the person who says Jack was straight it’s like come on you guys come on. He was straight come on no I’m sorry. No he was obviously and I’m gonna I was. I’m gonna I’m gonna put up that person and I’m gonna say well actually it’s not really one up but that’s what came to Lacey but I’m going to better them And say no I actually know more than that because I was in the family and I’m also dead and objective and no, he was actually obviously not gay. He was obviously not straight. He was obviously bisexual. OK how about that? He was obviously bisexual Jack Kennedy was obviously bisexual And that’s where it’s weird because it’s like so he was obviously bisexual but lamb looks kind of straight and then you think about Jack and it’s like you know Jack was handsome, but there was something a little gay about him at times like in his clothes and his mannerisms even his hair like Jack had really perfect hair had nice hair, but it wasn’t quite as perfect as that Frankly looks more straight, Jack had really perfect hair. I mean that was before hair gel and his hair is like perfect looking and you cannot tell me that that’s normal that in every single picture of him that he looks perfect like his hair is completely perfect looking that’s that’s just that doesn’t happen. People don’t just have perfect hair their whole lives or like in every picture when they become famous all of a sudden, their hair is always perfect like there’s just that just happens. That’s not normal And she’s right actually I’m I’m right. She’s not the one saying this you guys so but she’s agreeing with me as I’m saying it we’re two different people. Sometimes the illuminati reads her agreeing with ghost that she’s channeling and then they desperately think that she’s the one saying it and that’s so fucking stupid. Then she’s the one saying she wanted to wear cause she’s angry Actually I am too, but I’m trying not to swear but no, that’s just so stupid because that’s not that’s not what’s happening. She’s a different person than me. She’s just agreeing with me. You’re just reading her agreeing with me what I am saying is that it’s obvious that Jack was bisexual And it’s obvious that Lamb looks kind of straight. I mean his hair is like we are looking at times and it’s so not homosexual. I mean that’s a stereotype but let’s be honest if there’s something to do that he put effort into his hair but it looks weird at times. It really does. It’s like too short or it’s just kind of off looking For his face. It’s almost like he doesn’t really know what he looks like and he looks like he’s trying to act gay, but but it’s not him and his his overall look is not homosexual it just even though when he wears short shorts or when he tries to like slick back his hair, there’s something about it that just ends up being Straight somehow because he was straight and there’s times he looked really nice but there’s times he looks awful too, and it’s an accident. Jack looks bad but it’s an accident in a different way. It’s more like he’s unaware of how skinny he looks, and he doesn’t know how to dress for himself Just lacks a sense of style to some degree kind of like a typical straight man. Where is Jack has a sense of style but I think he thinks he looks like James Dean and he does it but then SCH is he starts doing things a little different and his hair is like oh it’s always perfect so I think you could easily say that he looks bisexual. I’m sorry it is a look at bisexual men can sometimes be really handsome because they kind of have maybe a little more of an awareness of what looks good on them than average straight man but then they’re still attracted to women so they’re still that heterosexual masculinity there And it’s attractive looking and so he was a good looking man, but he does not look straight. OK I’m sorry.
No, that’s the thing so, what do we have for dealing with a bisexual from a rich family who is closeted and a man who looks like he’s trying to act gay, but he’s actually straight if you looked at it like that and then you thought now why are they together and you read that lamb was always finding over Jack and was just like so in love with him I would start to think OK so I’m not convinced he was really in love with him because if he was straight and he was trying to ask gay could he have been confused and thought he was gay when he wasn’t yes could he have fallen into the trap that our family sometimes lays out for people yes obviously One could’ve obviously fallen into the trap that our family lays out for people where people fall in love with us and then they get hurt that happens And so I would think crud. I think I think either thought he was in love with Jack or got really confused and believed that he was somehow but wasn’t but I’m pretty sure Linn was straight and messed up and then I would think and obviously Jack might’ve been a narcissist And have been using him.
And I think that’s the problem. It’s obvious that Linn was straight if you really look at it there’s something weird about his drug use like the way that he used drugs and there is something strange about his overall demeanor and even though he supposedly was obsessed with Bobby, I know that there’s probably an explanation that deviates from that narrative and is very possibly more accurate. It’s actually really possible that he was straight and you couldn’t know for sure, but people have been really sloppy intellectually and analyzing them because it’s really possible that he was straight and it’s not quite as mysterious as people are making it out to be. And Jack was really obviously bisexual. I’m sorry.
I mean, Ben Bradley wrote conversations with Kennedy red Faye wrote the pleasure of his company. I mean, those are obviously men who felt the need to write like glamorizing portraits of him and it’s a little weird because Lem never did anything like that. lamb never wrote a novel or rather I’m sorry he never wrote a novel. He never wrote a memoir and he wasn’t stupid and I’m not even sure that he ever wrote Jack a love letter. He never even necessarily wrote Jack a love letter at all.
That’s strange cause Linn was not stupid and then you’ve ignored the fact that Jack had all of these male suitors were writing him these pages long essentially love memoirs.
And then you want us to believe that he was straight and that bed Bradley was straight, and that red face was straight, and these men are writing books like the time that I may love to Jack is like the title of the of the book like, what the heck the pleasure of his company That is obviously not heterosexual that is so a euphemism and I don’t understand how people can be so slow.
So my my great uncle was bisexual OK Jack was bisexual get over it. Lamb looks straight and he was. He was just very messed up! And people think that Liam was not straight because in a way it helps them avoid the reality of the fact that Jack was bisexual and that he had all of these bisexual men who were in love with him as bisexuals. They’re avoiding that reality by clinging to idea that Lem was the only gay. 
Because if you have us thinking that a straight man who’s messed up is gay you’re sending people on a wild goose chase and they get totally distracted and this is not just people analyzing us. This is us ourselves in the family so if we’re off, thinking alone was gay. That’s so weird then you’re analyzing how a straight man who is messed up was genuinely gay. That’s not possible And then you get distracted and start to think that that’s reality when it’s not and then you miss the fact that there’s all these bisexual’s and that jack himself was bisexual. You just totally missed that because you get distracted by mislabeling a straight man as gay.
jack used to pose them and actually it’s almost sad because in a lot of the pictures Jack has them grabbing his behind or he’s on top of them in a suggestive way and he does things in a way that suggests that they were homosexuals in this like relationship. And Jack was not capable of relationships because he was too narcissistic, but he was bisexual and he was narcissistic and so he did have some instinct to wanna be loved. He may have even chosen as a confused straight man to sort of be dominant because he was looking for someone who would never really do anything, and he also was messed up from our family, and maybe was looking for someone who would reject him. So he took those pictures and he he was the one that posed them all there are many pictures of them where he’s looking at Jack like why are we taking pictures right now because Jack was the one that really organized the pictures almost always. So I think he wanted them to get too personal. I think he wanted them to be a great kisser and he wanted to have homosexual sex with with them, but then that would’ve required lamb in a sense forcing Jack to do it and mind you this wouldn’t even worked because Jack was too narcissistic, but he thought that he was capable of a relationship subconsciously and so he was trying to pose lamb in a way Where it was suggest that they were doing things that they weren’t actually really doing, and then he would play dumb and be like oh no I don’t wanna do that. I’m not gay. I’m not gay. This is weird. I don’t wanna do stuff like with you of that nature because I’m not gay you know this is weird. This is inappropriate. I’m not I’m not a homosexual and he would say that adamantly I respect that and lamb was actually uncomfortable himself because he was straight and so Jack would say no I don’t wanna do that you know once or twice and then will never question it because he was stressed and he didn’t really have a desire to do it himself anyway, and it was more that he thought he should be doing it because he thought he was gay And he was trying to be happy and well adjusted as much as he could be, and so he was trying to be gay, but he didn’t really wanna be and so he’d be like Jack. We should go on a date and be a couple you know and do XYNZ and then Jack would be like oh you have such a dirty mind you wild man you know you’re crazy. You have a dirty mind you rascal get away from me you I’m straight. I’m not that kind of boy. Oh my gosh how dare you.
But he was really just playing hard to get in a way and trying to make it seem because he was narcissistic like he was straight and then at times he would order them to stuff and rape him because he actually wasn’t straight, but then he would play it off like I’m just tense and I just you know I’ve got problems and I was trying to get released because I’m you know I am cool like that. But he was probably also trying to have an actual love life to some degree that was bisexual, but he never asked for it because he didn’t wanna let down his guard and admit that he was bisexual so he would play hard to get in love would take it seriously and then the times Jack would get frustrated and just rape Lem. I mean this is really sad but is what happened so Jack would get frustrated and then just rape them and then other than that he would always play diamond and be like no I’m straight you know I’m not raping you and forcing you to be with me and contacting you when you try to run away from me and saying contact me contact me write me where are you? Come back Because I just acted. It might look like was the one that I was obsessed but in reality it was Jack and Jack was refusing to accept that he was bisexual so lamb didn’t understand that though cause he was straight and he just thought Jack was in denial and he didn’t really understand how to confront him because he was straight Like he couldn’t have said to him you want to be with me because he didn’t understand that he didn’t have that within him to say that kind of thing anymore, because he didn’t understand that role because he was confused himself because he was straight and very confused about an orientation versus You know like the physicality of life and he just didn’t understand so he didn’t know that his desires mattered essentially and this is pre-1960 so he didn’t he didn’t get it. He really didn’t. There wasn’t a lot of literature. He just didn’t understand and so Jack could take advantage of him and he did but it’s kind of sad and away because Jack was very rejected by him, but he never did anything just sort of stand up for himself and whether you should or not, that is that his experience of a homosexual so he never stood up for himself in any healthy way, and said you know why aren’t we know actually doing something That I wanna do and into some degree Jack wasn’t capable of that anyway, but the little part of him that had a heart as a narcissist, and not a psychopath or whatever that was looking for something human it’s somewhat sad because he got he got he took advantage of himself because he just never really accepted that love was never gonna love him and was never gonna be there for him the way that he needed him to be because he wasn’t Available. He was straight and that instead of chasing something that he couldn’t have that wasn’t really you know available kind of like how his mother chased his father slightly and then was in denial about it. He needed to realize that there were other people, but he was narcissistic and he just didn’t have that awareness enough to be able to even advocate for himself like that, so there were men who were in love with him And as much as they could be and he never did much I mean he he got sort of involved with red Faye and he, you know he flirted with people and I think he might’ve even broken some men’s hearts, but he never really had any sort of normal. If you can even call it that homosexual relationship he never was in any sort of give-and-take Acknowledged relationship. He usually just resorted to being with someone who didn’t want him, which was them and then and then he, and then he rejected men who actually were genuinely smitten by him as much as they could be and those men lived in denial about that too because they either were closeted or they just didn’t really understand what it happened and they just lived in denial about it There were a few men who got angry at lamb, but Lamb really was confused. He really genuinely was he was actually straight and so he really wasn’t available which was what Jack liked, but that’s how messed up Jack was.
and no Jack wasn’t just his friend Jack had feelings for people. It wasn’t just friendship Liam cared about Jack, but there wasn’t some great friendship between them because Jack really was a narcissist and really was abusive to Lem People really are so gullible.
So anyway it’s just the problem is that you don’t know that you think Lem was gay and he wasn’t at all. and then meanwhile my great uncle was bisexual.
And that doesn’t seem like a big deal when you first look at it, but it’s the problem with society today. Black people don’t seem to understand that white people really genuinely can’t handle the civil rights movement in some cases. and they’re they’re just like oh we’ll just keep pressing forward and white people will catch up you know yes and there is some progress that’s been made through doing that but really white people in the past just couldn’t handle it and they still can’t to some degree. It’s kind of like the thing with them like he was straight why people really can’t handle it. There’s something similar about that.
What is it that they can’t handle OK and this is what Scott was trying to explain to you back in Europe a lot of Americans came from poor families, feudalism, indentured, servant, servants, and so a lot of Americans are descendants of poor white people. Well people who are poor in Europe. And there are exceptions like Lacey‘s family but a lot of people are from poor families. And we took with us this DNA this genetic understanding of ourselves as inferior. Because we were told that we were. So you take all those white people in America, who are suddenly owning their own house who are suddenly owning their own plantation where suddenly making all this money and doing really well and feeling like a really big deal and then you tell them that Black people are actually equal to them. And you know, slavery of Black people start with colonialism to some degree. So you tell these poor white people who are suddenly rich that the Black people are actually equal to them it’s hard for them to handle because in their mind it’s like there’s a really rich people in Europe and then there’s them and then there’s Black people that’s the order of things that they’ve had in their head and that’s what they thought. Sincerely that’s what they really believed. You know it’s like that’s what they grew up with for generations, fervently being taught and fervently believing about themselves. and you know, trying to convince them of their equal to people who are not entirely equal to them, which is something that people are struggling to comprehend it nowadays in a way in a way they were equal and a way they actually weren’t because cultures evolve over centuries, and so there is something to thinking that people who were aristocratic were smarter and better looking because in some cases or in a lot of cases they actually were and so they were people who were more than just exceptions. I would say it’s like this 60% of poor people were actually genuinely genetically inferior to theocracy in Europe. So that’s like the majority in a way that’s like 60% of poor white people in Europe were actually genetically inferior to the aristocrats. Except it’s only 60% at the same time. And if you get brilliant enough minds in that 40% that’s 40% that’s a sizable population of people who really were not inferior at all and some of them might’ve been vastly superior to some of the wealthy people and that’s where a lot of the animosity came from because it’s like excuse me there’s like 20% of my population. That’s actually better than most of you are better than a lot of you and there are a few of us that are like extraordinary and you’re just ignoring us. And so it’s like this isn’t fair because there’s 40% of us and given it’s not the majority but still it’s 40% of us that are your equal if not superior in some cases and so what are you gonna do with that because they’re not happy.
But how do you explain that to America where it’s like yeah you’re made from that 40% you’re made from the other part two but you’re also made from that 40% so we’re very complicated country in that way because we have the 60% and we have the 40% here and then it’s like who’s who and what’s what It’s kind of a mess but essentially that’s part of what happened so but you couldn’t tell people who are racist oh you’re part of the 60% and you know that and that’s how that’s part of how you cognitively all right peace with the fact that you know your ancestors were poor and that you only have a small plantation because you know You know you’re not as smart as some people you know you’re not stupid but you know you’re not as smart as some people and it was convincing those white Southerners those middle class white people who may be really were part of the 60% that they somehow were equal to their superiors when they knew they weren’t. That’s part of how racism became a thing. So it’s like oh no no you’re you’re equal to your equal and it’s like no I know I’m not. I know that those people are smarter than me know Germany went exist if it wasn’t for those people, and you can’t convince them of that, and then this is yeah we’re some white nationalist are like we know shit you know, and you still can’t convince them of the fact that some people are better than them who are white, but they still believe they’re better than Black people and that that’s just a natural order of things But they believe that for a reason OK because part of this is humility and actually not narcissism and it’s not a lack of self awareness on their part it’s the opposite and so that’s part of why white people couldn’t handle it. OK because they had this they had this map of society in their head that made sense to them that they carried for centuries and then Black people to America were like, but forget it. We’re actually equal And then they’re just like we’ll hold up like how is that possible because we’re destroying Africa right now how are you are equal and it was like how do you have this incredibly complex historical conversation with poor white people who actually might not be as smart as I am or is Lacey is and I’m average intelligence to some degree but I came from a family of people who were at least trying to seem really smart and so I’m capable of this conversation. I’m also quite deep and my great grandfather was more intelligent than some people and so no I’m capable of this conversation but the thing is this. I’m talking with Lacey as we were saying this together but no it’s just it’s it’s bad because how do you convince a poor white person that they’re superior to someone who they know they’re not superior to And then convince them that that isn’t the same thing that they’re experiencing with a black person? Asking them to do that maybe asking them to violate their conscience or could be asking them to ignore and repress what they think is true and that actually is too much to ask of them, psychologically. That doesn’t mean that Black people don’t have a right in a sense to ask that but I’m talking truth here. OK I’m talking reality and in reality white people unfortunately are stupider and weaker than they then Black people need them to be. If racism is wrong it’s very hard to get rid of it in America, unfortunately because of the frailty of the white settlers, who came here who actually were poor for a reason in Europe. There are some people who weren’t that stupid obviously and there are some people who maybe somehow can understand but white people think what they think for a reason and that’s something that has never been discussed. That whole conversation got derailed in the 60s and it became a very confusing mess.
And that actually is that actually is part of what I’m trying to say is that it’s like Black people are like you know our white people just stupid are white people just not able to handle it and then they laugh about it because they think it’s a joke, but it’s not. And in the same way, love was actually straight. He doesn’t just look straight. He’s not just some big guy who was buff who was always smiling all the time for no reason he actually was straight and messed up, and Jack was taking advantage of him.
And there’s a lot of stuff like that nowadays, Bill Gates is lonely. Bill Gates is depressed. You’re not just imagining things.
My uncle is a monster, but he’s also fun. That’s also just reality.
Elon Musk really is weird even though he’s a genius.
Donald Trump really is as intelligent and perceptive as he seems to be at at times he can be extra extraordinarily kind, but he’s also really messed up himself.
Why the bear Putin is if there’s reincarnation an actual dead Russian elite who came back like someone in an action film like he’s Jackie Chan like he’s an extraordinary person. He really is that extraordinary regardless of reincarnation, but even if there is reincarnation, you’re not imagining things he really is stuffy and aristocratic in his soul. If there’s reincarnation, if not, he might just be unusually intelligent and have adopted those mannerisms overtime but I mean people think that they’re imagining things but they’ve been so gas because they’ve been so gaslit by people controlling the narrative that we see things like lamb Billings looks heterosexual and we think no that can’t be. He was in love with Jack
Or it’s like you know this country is really big. It’s amazing that it all sticks together. And it actually really is amazing. Minnesota is a very different place than Massachusetts and it’s very different than anywhere else in the country. Minnesota feels like Canada or somewhere in Germany or or possibly Scandinavia. It’s really not like the rest of America. It’s extremely European.
North Dakota is a different state and it feels kind of like the wild West and that’s something people don’t really acknowledge and then you have the actual wild West I mean it’s all one big country but that’s not that’s not typical and we just say oh that’s America but in reality, it’s not a normal country in that way.” says Saoirse. “ so don’t keep being gaslit as a liberal if you’re trying to figure out how to relate to people who are conservative Trump supporters because you recognize their humanity and you’re trying to keep the country from falling apart completely just stop gaslighting yourself stop buying into the narrative about certain things as a way of relating to them because that’s how they think that’s how they’ve begin to think and if you let yourself as a liberal, you might be able to find observations that you’ve just ignored yourself. Like America really is very divided regionally and Minnesota feels like Canada 
That to them, but keeping that in mind if you’re in Minnesota and you’re arguing with a liberal, it’s possible or rather a conservative as possible. You’re talking to someone who thinks more like a Canadian then they realize so help them and help them realize that that they may not actually think exactly like a conservative from South Carolina, even if they think conservatively And there’s something to what they’re saying, they may think slightly differently than those people and you can be protective of them and yourself by not assuming that they’re the same people.
I mean, there are conservative Canadians who are racist and they’re more like Minnesota’s than people who are from South Carolina.
And yeah, that’s just not something that people are honest about.
America is America right but but people have to stop ignoring that there are huge regional fractures that are becoming louder and louder for a reason.”
“ so anyway, I should’ve realized that I was just delete and that I was never going to be happy in my marriage because I was with someone who just didn’t think enough like me. She was an aisle of my family‘s money, but she was very quiet about it and that was understandable, but it was problematic because she was marrying me and I didn’t even realize what was going on. So yeah I I mean it’s like this. I finally see attractive. She’s not entirely my cousin and That was very dysfunctional, but in a way but in a way it wasn’t but in a way it was and I wish that I had just known that I was looking for someone who was like us.” says Matt.
“ are there women that who you could’ve met?” says a woman in Minnesota.
“ yes they’re about four women and I think one of them might really be sad actually without me because her marriage is bad and she had a wealthy family. She became a teacher. She’s a teacher at a private school possibly and I would’ve met her eventually if I had started volunteering in Minnesota in the political arena, I had some interest in that if I had started doing that more and gotten more involved in the community in that way I could’ve met her possibly volunteering somewhere and Kate and I might’ve been separated and we might’ve gotten married and been extremely happy and I would’ve just thought that you know the ladder half my life was really the better half and my family would have been shocked by her and frankly would’ve thought that she was like Lacey because we are very unaware of ourselves in that way as a family and so being from our background and not really being middle class, but actually being from an old money background she would’ve reminded them of Lacey and that would’ve been strange to some people, but people would’ve accommodated it. I would’ve forced them too and it actually would’ve probably been helpful to some of my family members to have a hard time with Lacey because they would’ve realized that she’s not weird. She’s just herself and that there’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just herself.
They don’t really understand themselves or her and so if they’d had more exposure to people who are like us in America, who are actually old money, they might have understood her better too and my wife would’ve been a little bit like her and that way they’re very different people, but there would’ve been a similarity in there Perspective on things and so that would’ve been very helpful and I would’ve been very happy but she’s gonna be alone now without me and I mean, she probably will find somebody else, but it might take longer and she might’ve really like to be with me so that’s very hard for me but that’s part of why killing yourself doesn’t fix Everyone’s life. There are some people who really maybe just need to die like a holocaust victim type people will say, but there’s people like me who think that things are that bad and it’s really not and my children should’ve been a huge red flake to me that I was making a terrible mistake killing myself.” says Matt.
“ so there are a lot of boomers who have enabled Bobby because they don’t wanna live in the reality that they’re seeing and talking to actual ghost if there’s an illuminati, they don’t wanna deal with the fact that there are actual dead people who they’re talking to. They talk to dead people and they get conversations with them. We conjured them. I’m pretty sure at least some of them are actual people not just demons and they warn us about stuff at times and people like Bill Clinton. Unfortunately take it seriously and then when it gets to be too hard for them They don’t know what to do and so they freak out and they start just telling themselves that there’s no proof of an afterlife scientifically they just start saying 00 never mind you know there’s no scientific proof never mind which is Ludacris but that’s how they handle it.” says a psychic.
“How is Lacey sleeping with Lem…but not aware of that?” asks Jonah Wiley.
Matt laughs. “ she’s been brainwashed.”
“By whom!??” says Patti Negri.
“Most living people.
She gets gaslit ALL THE FREAKING TIMR!” he says.
“Not as much by me!” says Putin.
“Unfortunately…because he refuses to gaslight her…Putin has become our friend” says China.
“Yeah. By refusing to lie to her…he’s had a lot of…reality checks. And it’s worked out well for him.” says Japan.
“How!?” says a prostitute.
“She’s so sincere!
She’s like me.
And I’ve had…to…realize she’s…being brutally attacked. By America. Her own people! …Why would they do this!? Why!? …Well…processing that…I figured out a lot.” says Putin.
“So she’s like you?” she says.
“Yes. One way or another. I relate. I feel like I can read her mind. And…it’s been eye-opening. …Why don’t Americans like her? Well…they don’t get along with me necessarily either. …Why!? I tried to get along. I really did!
Maybe we’re two dead aristocrats and we think alike. Maybe she reminds me of one of my sisters lately, but not really, but I understand her regardless. But you know not necessarily and maybe we’re just somewhere alike. I’m a gentleman and I’m incredibly refined by choice, but I’m one of the most dangerous men in the world and one of the most powerful and I’m not afraid of that. Oh, I find a lot of American men can’t handle that being so important. And instead they become passive aggressive and mean. I don’t have that problem. I’m not like that. I’m very brazen and I’m very bold and I’m very strong and I am capable of a lot. And to be honest, I haven’t done a lot of self reflection about certain things, but this reincarnation business has been very hard for me in a way because it is actually quite difficult to get a definitive answer from people, especially if there’s an illuminati. Because there are a lot of people who believe that it’s real with very little evidence to suggest that and then there are a lot of people who believe that it’s real who do have evidence, but they’re not Christian. And then there are some people who are very adamant that it can’t possibly be a part of Christianity. It’s a defilement of our faith. And I feel torn because at the end of the day so to speak something has to be happening you know something has to be true. I’m either not and I’m just an extraordinary individual or I am and I’m still extraordinary, but there’s some sort of history in my soul and my spirit that gave me a leg up on everything. The problem is I like the ladder because I’m a humble person and I’m a realist and a part of me doesn’t think it’s likely that I could be that extraordinary. No I actually am quite humble and meek believe it or not and so I think I’m OK. Yeah my parents were great people. I was very fortunate. In some ways. I have God and I’m extraordinary But then I think you know what if I am extra extraordinary but there’s more but there’s something to it that isn’t quite that astounding. You know there’s an explanation for it and it really is that I’m Alexei? I’m not really him and away, but in a way I still am if there’s reincarnation and I’m him. And if I am him, no, I respect my people and I love them, and I came back as a common person to prove to them that the monarchy existed for a reason it wasn’t worthless, even if it wasn’t completely just or fair we weren’t crazy. You know we evolved that way For a reason. My family was extraordinary. We put ourselves in power because we were actually extraordinary people. And we had to gain back our trust after decades centuries of violating the trust of our people and I’m not a saint OK but I readily admit that there’s a reason why I do what I do it’s not just greed, but that’s beyond the point the thing is if there is reincarnation, I came back because I care And it really wasn’t necessarily to regain power for my family. It might’ve just been to prove ourselves that no, we weren’t just you know we didn’t just fall out of the sky and get put in a position of power in Russia, for no reason. We actually we’re actually better at leading than you might think and so if there’s reincarnation, I’m some proof of that and Russians are like that and we wanted to obviously explain that to ourselves that we weren’t you know delusional having a monarchy as long as we did so if there’s reincarnation, I’m obviously here to grapple with that and have a very deep conversation,
If there’s not reincarnation, I guess I’m just extra extraordinary, but you know it would be nice to know it really would. When I look at pictures of Alexa, I get scared because I do think this could be a totally different person than me but what if it’s not? What if I’m actually looking at pictures of myself? It’s shocking.
If there is reincarnation and I am him, Lacey really is a lady a Scottish aristocrat which is how I’m so comfortable around her obviously, if that’s the case, would I have married her if she’d been younger and in my generation, you know, and to be honest, if there is a reincarnation, that could be why they had her in World War I for me I could also just be a red flight that there is no reincarnation if there is though that could be why. But no, she’s way too old for me. We were very different generations, but you know the thing is I still relate to her and if she had been my age would I have considered marrying her? It wouldn’t have been out of the question believe it or not it wouldn’t have been ruled out totally And that’s a thing so that’s what frustrates me is that you really don’t seem to understand the situation.
A Sparrow Alighted Upon Our Shoulder by Johann Jóhannsson plays.
if there is a illuminati, Lacey found us because she could have married Michael Rockefeller. I truly believe that it makes complete sense to me and and Asia as well. Her personality. It makes sense and people are in denial about it in the US, but I’m not and neither is China.
Donald Trump doesn’t quite accept that or understand it because it’s intimidating to him and he’s gonna have to stop.
Chris Hayes was channeling Michael Rockefeller‘s energy. and Lacey accidentally misunderstood him because she saw Michael’s energy on him and she misinterpreted him as a person. And being desperately without me and sort of upper creek with no paddle and a canoe, she chose a dire choice of thinking that he was available when he wasn’t. I think she thought that was sort of her last chance at any sort of happiness in life. Or she thought that it was one of the last chance that she’d probably ever have and to be honest with you that’s why it makes so much sense to me because Michael is a soulmate. It really seems very likely and so I think she read Chris and thought oh it’s Michael. It’s a soulmate. It’s someone who will understand me and I’ll be finally loved and happy because now her living husband is not in love with her May be very slightly, but she’s also extremely beautiful and very sweet so I mean he’s slightly in love with her, but not like I am at all, and I believe it’s very likely that she could be far happier with somebody else if this is a real conversation and she was in Russia I would be very tempted to try to do something. I am that daring and I actually might have tried it. I am a man I like sex and I’m not embarrassed by that. And I might’ve tried it. I’m also the ruler of my country and I can get away with a lot so I know I might’ve tried something. I don’t know what exactly but I might’ve tried getting her involved in something yeah and then introducing myself to her, you know, in some very casual way And then you know, sort of flirting with her and why do you know if I’m flirting with her and we’re in person, even if there is an illuminati and she’s accidentally been talking to me. I know women better than American men possibly, and I would know that she wouldn’t be a danger to me And that I would be able to probably sleep with her. Potentially regularly will say.
So I’m like that right apparently American men are a little more skittish and that’s just how they are and I am also not going to be able to do much because she’s in America although that actually is very disturbing to me at times but suffice to say, I think it makes sense that she just thought that she found something Because it was telepathic. It was spiritual. It was psychic and he was channeling the ghost of Michael and no, I’m older and Michael was older as well and that’s part of why I know that it’s very possible so it just makes sense to me. I’m sorry that’s hard for Someone to accept, but it actually is reality of the situation.
So someday, I’ll know whether or not I’m Alexa and she’s Lady Roslyn.” says Putin.

