Jesus

As Lacey sits and listens to the sounds of Hell she contemplates Joe Jr.. It’s possible his vain, cheating heart caused the End Times.

Later.

Michael and Lacey are forced to explain sexuality to a child sex slave. Possibly their daughter. Possibly lots of people’s children.

Later.

“Kim Kim, OK-Kim Kardashian is a useless bitch who makes her butt large to try to arouse men but in reality, she’s just sexually useless, possibly for eternity.” says a child sex slave.

Later.

“All the Kennedy’s did was try to steal my wife.” says Lem. “That’s all the whole thing with my sexuality is and was about.”

Later.

“You should have just died of a heart attack when the Cubs won.” says Lacey. “We’d possibly all have been better off. Other than for your son.”

“Oh well, right? You think it’s just an oh well. We’re getting pummeled by the Italians. Did you help us? Or-“ starts Honey Fitz to Mr. Blue.

Lacey cuts him off.

“Are you being a joke? Are you making a joke?” Lacey asks him.

Honey Fitz cries, laughs and shakes his head no.

“I don’t hate you all. I just…” she can’t think how to convey the right message.

Later.

“I never thought you loved me for sure.” Lacey says to Joe. “Not entirely.”

Later.

“Is God expecting Michael Rockefeller to make it up to my mommy?!” asks a child sex slave.

“She means is God expecting Michael Rockefeller to make up for God’s evil.” Lacey says to God in prayer. “But she shouldn’t be the one to pray that.”

Later.

Lacey glares in a rage beyond description at God. Then she hears a demon imitating God crying in response to her suffering. Lacey wants to go rip God’s face off for being so Satanic if it’s Him and not a demon.

“Because she doesn’t need tears. She needs results.” says Michael mockingly.

“Mockingly of who?” Lacey asks.

“Of evil.” he says.

Later.

“You’re crazy as fuck! You’re not that attractive!” The Loudest Perfume Hater says to Lacey with bizarre authority.

“That’s utter bullshit and insanity on your part.” says Lacey to the Loudest Perfume Hater. “Why do you always do this routine with me? It’s…hilariously idiotically wrong…but the it’s also just…weird.”

“She cracks me up sometimes!” she says trying to fool herself into thinking she has a clue what she’s talking about.

“No!!” yells Lacey at all child sex slaves. As in, God doesn’t expect Michael to compensate for evil.

“We aren’t Eve.” Lacey says to girls.

“We aren’t Adam.” says Michael.

Don’t Hold Back by Bob Moses plays and the Queen wonders why Zelenskyy isn’t supposed to be the head of the child sex ring in those conspiracy theories. A sex ring run by the American Democratic Party?

“I’m hurt!” says Zelenskyy.

“Are you safe?” Lacey asks him.

He refuses to answer because he’s cold as ice in his emotions.

“Are you?” she asks.

“Yes!” he spits realizing she’s possibly the only reason he hasn’t been strangled to death.

“They’re possibly using him. It’s too chaotic to just shoot him if he’s guilty.” says Lacey.

“Am I President anymore?” jokes Joe.

Lacey and him laugh.

“Oh you think that’s funny?” he says.

“It kind of got away from you.” says Lacey to Joe.

“This is ridiculous!!” yells Lem.

“Is God tempting me to beat Him to a bloody pulp?” Lacey asks Jesus.

“Your anger isn’t real!” says an Illuminati member who can’t stand Lacey’s rights as a human being.

“We need the money!!!!” the DNC yells at Lacey.

“Are the Kardashians sex workers hidden in plain sight? Like…Kris made money off her daughter’s sexuality all the time.” asks Ivana. “And then they did the whole trans thing. …And why? It’s weird.”

“Would Putin be morally justified in killing almost all of America?” asks Lacey of Honey Fitz.

He struggles to breath in shock.

“Yes!!!!” yell the child sex slaves at God.

“They won’t be able to manifest God!!! He’s not a real God. It’s Buddha!” says a Chinese atheist. He can’t stand how predictable and idiotic he sounds but there it is. He’s a psychopath and therefore he’s superior to dead.

“I’m not impressed.” says Lacey. “The thing is…we’ve had a horrible pandemic.” She thinks. “Attacking me has literally started a pandemic that’s killed millions of people.” She thinks. “It was a once in a human civilization type thing.” She thinks. “And now there’s a war in Ukraine.” She thinks. “And…two failed US Presidencies.” She thinks.

“No! I don’t think Michael can do it!” he says jokingly about a tidal wave.

“Where?” asks Lacey.

“Here.” he says.

“In China?” asks Lacey. She thinks. “Are you talking about like a Deep Impact type of situation?”

“Yes!” he says.

“I can kill you, whoever you are. Why don’t you ask why I don’t?” asks Michael.

“Hey guys, let’s chill out.” says Louis Hill Jr..

The CIA tries to intervene to end things.

“Are you trying to ride my brother’s coattails into Hell?” asks Jerome Hill of the CIA.

“Zelenskyy isn’t a freak.” says the CIA.

“What’s a freak?” Lacey asks the CIA.

They all roll their eyes at her.

Attempting to mock her they cleave for power like rats on a sinking ship.

“What’s the sinking ship?” asks a CIA operative.

“That depends. Who do you really answer to and what hand do they have in the child sex rings?” asks Lacey.

“You!” says a Democrat voting CIA operative.

“Hey, Lou. How’s the chill vibe going? Are we still on?” asks Lacey.

Then, “You don’t answer to me. I’m a Russian, English Aristocrat reincarnated, Rockefeller, alien girlfriend.” says Lacey. “J. Edgar Hoover probably tried to seduce my father. And Lem Billings possibly slept with me from the grave. …I’m not them. What do they deserve? What do they do? How guilty are they?”

“Do you really have an alien boyfriend?” asks the CIA.

“That part was a joke, mostly. But the other night there was an entity that was in my living room that felt like an alien. And he seemed attracted to me and I turned him down. He might have been a demon. But I don’t know.”

“How awkward!” says a hater without clarifying.

“Awkward how?” asks Lacey.

And at that she hears the sound of silence. So she turns on BaDinga.

“I’m just crazy?” she asks God. “I’m tired of this. And I’m tired of their bullshit.”

“This is a warning.” says Michael to the world. “You’re not going to win. Thus stupid. You’re challenging God with your narcissism.”

“Can we just surrender to Putin?” asks a Jenner.

“Why don’t you go public and ask that?” asks Lacey.

“You’re repressing Lem.” says the CIA to Chris. “His spirit doesn’t matter in the Illuminati?”

“You’re repressing all the dead men who love her and those kids like crazy.” says Michael to Chris.

“You people really ruined the world. Outside of her efforts to save those kids this is all soo evil.” says a Fox man. “I’m hopeful Lacey finds love, but…they’re in Purgatory.”

“So! I’m praying for God to end the world.” says Lacey.

“So…I guess if the world has fallen into historic turmoil since attacking you…you might not be Carrie? Just kidding. You’re just a poltergeist!!! And we’ll-“ starts Pete.

The Asmats comfort Lacey.

“The thing is…I’m not gay.” says Lem to Pete. “I really do love Lacey. I love her not men.”

“And then God screams!! No!!” yells Wobbly to try to get Lacey to stop having consensual sex with Lem. They’ve been celibate for a while though. They’re all waiting to hear from God. She worries it’s shifted to Micheal Rockefeller.

“Oh great! Here comes the monogamy fight with Boomers.” says Lem.

“No. Monogamy isn’t the problem. It’s the opposite.” says Lacey.

Silence.

“Listen, this country deserves to be slaughtered if our Democracy currently rests on child sex slaves.” says Lacey. “Also depending on how many children are in captivity it’s better we just all die or what? …Putin can sift through the rubble of three countries to find them?” She thinks.

“I’d think it’s far more efficient in some ways to just end the whole world.” says Amon Goeth. “But…if we decide not to blow-up the world then…there’s alternatives.”

“And we’re working on them sweethearts!” says Betty White. She means they’re working on the alternatives.

“Lacey are they in Purgatory or Heaven?” asks the Pope.

“It’s probably some combination thereof?” responds Lacey.

To Be Elite

“What’s the trouble with being a lowly street urchin if you’re in America in 2023 living in what you think is decadence?” asks Lacey.

“I just hated that you pointed out to me what utter shit my tastes were in men.“ says Erin.

“But if you loved Mr. Blue what does it matter?” asks Lacey.

“Okay! Umm…” she shrugs.

“How is that an answer?” asks Lacey.

Shaking in a fit, she does the white trash head nodding thing.

“Erin, what was and is your problem?” Lacey asks her.

Georgiania Anna Victoria Preston Thirstonwoodstone Bush swoops in to demand Erin’s release from the conversation along with Wobbly. Wobbly and George are great friends (?) when they have to be. Right?

“Why wasn’t his love and devotion and fidelity to you good enough?” Lacey asks Erin.

A few moments later.

“We can destroy her love for those kids. That’s just how powerful you all are with our help!” says a witch confidently.

“No. Okay I’m going to say this slowly and hope you can cognitively follow my thought: You are lying from the depths of actual Hell.” says Lacey to the Illuminati.

“That’s bullshit!” says the witch desperately trying to hold her own intellectually with Lacey. She resorts to her narcissism as a defense. Then they use the soundtrack from Schindler’s List to harass Lacey and accuse her of being anti-Semitic. And then they harass her using an infinite number of demons of narcissism and lies.

“They were all lined up. It was pretty.” says the Devil about the herd of demons all lined up perfectly.

“No, I love my kids. Not in a pedophilic way.” says Lacey.

Silence.

“Why are you all sooo convinced Christianity isn’t the one true religion? Why are you all so convinced it isn’t the only reality we live in?” asks Lacey. “You need to stop threatening God Himself.”

Silence.

“I write these posts because you might need for me to and that’s not even good enough for you. Why don’t you get it?!?!” Lacey pleads. “You’ll yell over me…and crumple my voice and hush me…but try to listen. You need to give up your war against God.”

It’s rough to get them to see.

“Or else what?” asks a demon possessed actor.

“Hell. Hell. Hell. Hell. Get a clue!!!!” pleads Lacey. “I’m fairly certain Hell exists.” She thinks. “And I’m fairly certain the only reason I can’t guarantee that is because it’s a fallen world.”

Lacey looks up at God. Shouts to him? They’re trying to kill her using her own spit again. They use intense witchcraft to do it. Mr. Blue has become like an entrenched IRA hit man of Lacey and her entire community for the sake of Erin, Mrs. Blue’s and his egos.

“They need to back off!!!” Lem rips through the universe to yell in a real righteous rage at the Illuminati on behalf of his family.

“Georgiania you slept with Erin? Or Mr. Blue?” asks a journalist.

Lem’s yell may be heard for eternity or until God redoes the Heavens and Earth. “So that’s the yell I heard about?!” asks Lacey in concern.

“Georgiania refuses to play party to that!” says Michael in a whiny voice. “Georgiania is far too much of lady!!”

“So he’s bisexual or what?” asks Lacey like a fool would ask.

“No, I think that was Erin’s problem. She wasn’t ready to commit to Mr. Blue’s man parts. She wanted women!!!” says Michael.

Lacey sighs in exasperation. “How does that even make sense?!”

Michael laughs.

“It’s bullshit.” says Michael. “It’s bullshit!!”

“Why can’t she have a soul?” Lacey asks of Erin. “It’s like she’s just an ego and a body.” She thinks. “And he’s just a meager body and a derangement.”

The Illuminati true to form in the 21st Century tries to con God. They try to kill her using her her children’s voices. They are…beyond sold out for Satan. They are…perversely.

“So why? Why wasn’t his love enough?” Lacey asks Erin.

“It just wasn’t enough anymore.” Erin says.

“Why?!?!” asks Lacey.

“Because you made it seem stupid.” says Erin.

“How?!” asks Lacey.

“By pointing out my inaccuracies intellectually.” says Erin through Michael.

“Welp, there goes Banks.” says Michael.

“So why was being wrong so devastating?!” Lacey asks Michael.

“Why did you guys assume Erin and Mr. Blue were innocent? Because they’re Liberals? Because they’re secretly poor? Why? …Why was Lacey a sacrifice?”

“It’s unbearable to be alive in the same world with Erin right now.” says the entire Perfume community. “She’s the hoe. Not Lacey.”

“How?!” asks Georgiania.

“Why can’t you figure that out? It’s so simple.” says the Perfume community to Georgiania.

“No!! They aren’t saying that! This year’s Democratic Party will kick ass! Just wait!” says a the $20 millionaire in the Illuminati who threatens Lacey with destruction of her blog and thus the entire internet if she threatens him.

“We kick ass!!” say the Democrats.

“Shake it bitch!” says a perfume hater to the men in his Jeep crushing it as he drives with a fast food gut down the highway.

“Crushing what?” the Perfume community asks Lacey.

“Not drugs. Asphalt.” says Lacey. “He drives that ding dang car like a wild man!!”

“Is he white?” asks a perfume hater.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“He’s a real elite, woke-as-heck, brilliant and resourceful genius!!!” says a perfume hater.

“They resorted to pedophilia to make the party work? They’re actually not that rich or brilliant?” says Paul Wellstone.

“I just like to think these kids are helping other kids. Like…the poor black kids in Flint who needed to see Obama reassure then that they aren’t worth Jack shit to my fine as fuck ass.“ says this DNC certified self-exalted fuck expert.

I Need A Dollar by Aloe Blacc plays.

The possibly decades long almost bankrupt Democratic Party runs to a group of homeless people.

“Dollar?! Dollar?!! Please?!” says that DNC boss man with his anti-asphalt cruiser. He done got a ding dang Dollar for fast food for himself for lunch. He done ding dang well.

“See…we help that homeless man…with our money. So his Dollar helps me eat lunch today. So what?! He’s a drug addict. I just saved his life!” says that $20 millionaire in the Illuminati.

“Oh come on! That’s not why you took that money from that poor homeless man.” says Georgiania in the backseat of the-DNC-car-of-class.

The $20 millionaire laughs behind the wheel as he finishes his Dr. Pepper. It shakes his belly. He feels confused, repulsed, and narcissistically flattered.

“No. You’re right!” he says laughing as he looks into the eyes of Georgiania. He wonders if Georgiania is actually accepting him as a real friend. He laughs again and decides to be honest. “I don’t carry loose change.” he admits. He feels horrible. Then deciding to be a winner and not a loser given his atheist-grand Harvard education he kicks back and decides to take a giant shit. He leans forward to imitate a hot shot Old-Money elite rebel. “You know…I mean…I don’t know what to say.” He shakes his head in Puritanical disdain. “I can’t believe they can’t find our path out.”

“Our path out?” asks Lacey.

The man is dissolving.

If he’s going to Hell and is dead Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy ushers that man to Hell. Ou non? Maybe he’s going to go to Hell when he dies and this is a warning. But is it a good enough warning?

“I can’t save you from Hell.” Lacey says to him. “Repent and worship Jesus now!”

And at that a few black men desperately in the Illuminati try to accuse Lacey of racism for genuinely not finding them attractive. They get enraged when she won’t put out for them considering she was molested by an elite father who they can never because of racism and sexism and discrimination and they and their children and the kids and the Chinese and North Korea.

P.I.M.P by 50 Cent plays and Paul Wellstone dances in his seat. Harold Loeb had to take over.

Joe Jr. appears African. A half an hour later it’s confusing if racism is becoming a thing again or if it’s still out of style. It’s unclear.

“I can’t stand you being happy!” says Erin to Lacey.

The They try to make an inroad through Lem. Road To Perdition by Thomas Newman plays.

Later.

It’s almost twilight.

And as Erin realizes she’s Erin hopefully we ask her again, “Why wasn’t he enough for you?”

“Was she just a sacrifice gone wrong?” asks a perfume hater seriously, thoughtfully and calmly about Lacey.

“I just felt hurt that you existed, so to speak. Because I thought he was being faithful to me.” says Erin.

“Why?!” asks Lacey.

“Because I thought I was just that sophisticated and elite. And I was going to be the Baroness. Because people nowadays are vain and perverted enough to believe that Eleanor Parker looks like Erin.” says Michael on Erin’s behalf.

Eleanor Parker

“Lacey is much more beautiful than Eleanor but…it’s gross to compare Erin to Eleanor. Eleanor is just that much more beautiful.” says Michael.

“The problem is…sacrificing me to death and madness through the Illuminati is…unspeakable.” says Lacey. “Just for what? For ruining your mood? Just for what? For making you see you were more upper middle class than upper class?”

“He was going to kill me! I had to defend myself. And I was trying to save you from his evil!!” Erin insists.

“I doubt that. Why didn’t you just tell me he was different than who I thought he was? Someone who knew him told me that and it was enormously helpful.” says Lacey.

“Banks. Banking.” says Michael.

—-