To Be Elite

“What’s the trouble with being a lowly street urchin if you’re in America in 2023 living in what you think is decadence?” asks Lacey.

“I just hated that you pointed out to me what utter shit my tastes were in men.“ says Erin.

“But if you loved Mr. Blue what does it matter?” asks Lacey.

“Okay! Umm…” she shrugs.

“How is that an answer?” asks Lacey.

Shaking in a fit, she does the white trash head nodding thing.

“Erin, what was and is your problem?” Lacey asks her.

Georgiania Anna Victoria Preston Thirstonwoodstone Bush swoops in to demand Erin’s release from the conversation along with Wobbly. Wobbly and George are great friends (?) when they have to be. Right?

“Why wasn’t his love and devotion and fidelity to you good enough?” Lacey asks Erin.

A few moments later.

“We can destroy her love for those kids. That’s just how powerful you all are with our help!” says a witch confidently.

“No. Okay I’m going to say this slowly and hope you can cognitively follow my thought: You are lying from the depths of actual Hell.” says Lacey to the Illuminati.

“That’s bullshit!” says the witch desperately trying to hold her own intellectually with Lacey. She resorts to her narcissism as a defense. Then they use the soundtrack from Schindler’s List to harass Lacey and accuse her of being anti-Semitic. And then they harass her using an infinite number of demons of narcissism and lies.

“They were all lined up. It was pretty.” says the Devil about the herd of demons all lined up perfectly.

“No, I love my kids. Not in a pedophilic way.” says Lacey.


“Why are you all sooo convinced Christianity isn’t the one true religion? Why are you all so convinced it isn’t the only reality we live in?” asks Lacey. “You need to stop threatening God Himself.”


“I write these posts because you might need for me to and that’s not even good enough for you. Why don’t you get it?!?!” Lacey pleads. “You’ll yell over me…and crumple my voice and hush me…but try to listen. You need to give up your war against God.”

It’s rough to get them to see.

“Or else what?” asks a demon possessed actor.

“Hell. Hell. Hell. Hell. Get a clue!!!!” pleads Lacey. “I’m fairly certain Hell exists.” She thinks. “And I’m fairly certain the only reason I can’t guarantee that is because it’s a fallen world.”

Lacey looks up at God. Shouts to him? They’re trying to kill her using her own spit again. They use intense witchcraft to do it. Mr. Blue has become like an entrenched IRA hit man of Lacey and her entire community for the sake of Erin, Mrs. Blue’s and his egos.

“They need to back off!!!” Lem rips through the universe to yell in a real righteous rage at the Illuminati on behalf of his family.

“Georgiania you slept with Erin? Or Mr. Blue?” asks a journalist.

Lem’s yell may be heard for eternity or until God redoes the Heavens and Earth. “So that’s the yell I heard about?!” asks Lacey in concern.

“Georgiania refuses to play party to that!” says Michael in a whiny voice. “Georgiania is far too much of lady!!”

“So he’s bisexual or what?” asks Lacey like a fool would ask.

“No, I think that was Erin’s problem. She wasn’t ready to commit to Mr. Blue’s man parts. She wanted women!!!” says Michael.

Lacey sighs in exasperation. “How does that even make sense?!”

Michael laughs.

“It’s bullshit.” says Michael. “It’s bullshit!!”

“Why can’t she have a soul?” Lacey asks of Erin. “It’s like she’s just an ego and a body.” She thinks. “And he’s just a meager body and a derangement.”

The Illuminati true to form in the 21st Century tries to con God. They try to kill her using her her children’s voices. They are…beyond sold out for Satan. They are…perversely.

“So why? Why wasn’t his love enough?” Lacey asks Erin.

“It just wasn’t enough anymore.” Erin says.

“Why?!?!” asks Lacey.

“Because you made it seem stupid.” says Erin.

“How?!” asks Lacey.

“By pointing out my inaccuracies intellectually.” says Erin through Michael.

“Welp, there goes Banks.” says Michael.

“So why was being wrong so devastating?!” Lacey asks Michael.

“Why did you guys assume Erin and Mr. Blue were innocent? Because they’re Liberals? Because they’re secretly poor? Why? …Why was Lacey a sacrifice?”

“It’s unbearable to be alive in the same world with Erin right now.” says the entire Perfume community. “She’s the hoe. Not Lacey.”

“How?!” asks Georgiania.

“Why can’t you figure that out? It’s so simple.” says the Perfume community to Georgiania.

“No!! They aren’t saying that! This year’s Democratic Party will kick ass! Just wait!” says a the $20 millionaire in the Illuminati who threatens Lacey with destruction of her blog and thus the entire internet if she threatens him.

“We kick ass!!” say the Democrats.

“Shake it bitch!” says a perfume hater to the men in his Jeep crushing it as he drives with a fast food gut down the highway.

“Crushing what?” the Perfume community asks Lacey.

“Not drugs. Asphalt.” says Lacey. “He drives that ding dang car like a wild man!!”

“Is he white?” asks a perfume hater.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“He’s a real elite, woke-as-heck, brilliant and resourceful genius!!!” says a perfume hater.

“They resorted to pedophilia to make the party work? They’re actually not that rich or brilliant?” says Paul Wellstone.

“I just like to think these kids are helping other kids. Like…the poor black kids in Flint who needed to see Obama reassure then that they aren’t worth Jack shit to my fine as fuck ass.“ says this DNC certified self-exalted fuck expert.

I Need A Dollar by Aloe Blacc plays.

The possibly decades long almost bankrupt Democratic Party runs to a group of homeless people.

“Dollar?! Dollar?!! Please?!” says that DNC boss man with his anti-asphalt cruiser. He done got a ding dang Dollar for fast food for himself for lunch. He done ding dang well.

“See…we help that homeless man…with our money. So his Dollar helps me eat lunch today. So what?! He’s a drug addict. I just saved his life!” says that $20 millionaire in the Illuminati.

“Oh come on! That’s not why you took that money from that poor homeless man.” says Georgiania in the backseat of the-DNC-car-of-class.

The $20 millionaire laughs behind the wheel as he finishes his Dr. Pepper. It shakes his belly. He feels confused, repulsed, and narcissistically flattered.

“No. You’re right!” he says laughing as he looks into the eyes of Georgiania. He wonders if Georgiania is actually accepting him as a real friend. He laughs again and decides to be honest. “I don’t carry loose change.” he admits. He feels horrible. Then deciding to be a winner and not a loser given his atheist-grand Harvard education he kicks back and decides to take a giant shit. He leans forward to imitate a hot shot Old-Money elite rebel. “You know…I mean…I don’t know what to say.” He shakes his head in Puritanical disdain. “I can’t believe they can’t find our path out.”

“Our path out?” asks Lacey.

The man is dissolving.

If he’s going to Hell and is dead Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy ushers that man to Hell. Ou non? Maybe he’s going to go to Hell when he dies and this is a warning. But is it a good enough warning?

“I can’t save you from Hell.” Lacey says to him. “Repent and worship Jesus now!”

And at that a few black men desperately in the Illuminati try to accuse Lacey of racism for genuinely not finding them attractive. They get enraged when she won’t put out for them considering she was molested by an elite father who they can never because of racism and sexism and discrimination and they and their children and the kids and the Chinese and North Korea.

P.I.M.P by 50 Cent plays and Paul Wellstone dances in his seat. Harold Loeb had to take over.

Joe Jr. appears African. A half an hour later it’s confusing if racism is becoming a thing again or if it’s still out of style. It’s unclear.

“I can’t stand you being happy!” says Erin to Lacey.

The They try to make an inroad through Lem. Road To Perdition by Thomas Newman plays.


It’s almost twilight.

And as Erin realizes she’s Erin hopefully we ask her again, “Why wasn’t he enough for you?”

“Was she just a sacrifice gone wrong?” asks a perfume hater seriously, thoughtfully and calmly about Lacey.

“I just felt hurt that you existed, so to speak. Because I thought he was being faithful to me.” says Erin.

“Why?!” asks Lacey.

“Because I thought I was just that sophisticated and elite. And I was going to be the Baroness. Because people nowadays are vain and perverted enough to believe that Eleanor Parker looks like Erin.” says Michael on Erin’s behalf.

Eleanor Parker

“Lacey is much more beautiful than Eleanor but…it’s gross to compare Erin to Eleanor. Eleanor is just that much more beautiful.” says Michael.

“The problem is…sacrificing me to death and madness through the Illuminati is…unspeakable.” says Lacey. “Just for what? For ruining your mood? Just for what? For making you see you were more upper middle class than upper class?”

“He was going to kill me! I had to defend myself. And I was trying to save you from his evil!!” Erin insists.

“I doubt that. Why didn’t you just tell me he was different than who I thought he was? Someone who knew him told me that and it was enormously helpful.” says Lacey.

“Banks. Banking.” says Michael.