Oud

I’m already thinking about the fragrance I’d like to focus on wearing for Fall 2021 and this year I think I’ll focus on oud. …Although so far it’s not looking promising…

My search for the perfect oud has already started. I’ve ruled out oud by MFK as that MFK note is terrible on my skin. It very unfortunately smells like a portable toilet at a 4th of July festival. …And actually if not for my Dior sample of Oud Ispahan I would not even be considering an oud at all.

I really like Oud Ispahan. It’s certainly a possible fall fragrance buy and, as I just said, it’s what inspired me to reconsider wearing oud in the first place. But just to be sure I also ordered a sample of the most promising oud by Krigler: Sumptuous Oud and I went to Luckyscent online and ordered samples of Mutheer Attar, Parisian Oud, Siberian Rose, Fall Into Stars, and Hedonist Rose Absolute.

Along with Sumptuous Oud I tried Palm Dream from Krigler. I love the opening of both and trying these two Kriglers reminds me to sample more from this house but I can’t say either are a win. To my nose Sumptuous Oud smells a lot like a mixture of vintage Helena Rubinstein Heaven Scent, Donna Karan Cashmere Mist and Hermès leather. I mean those comparisons quite literally too… The oud note is present but not prominent. Palm Dream is fascinating but my ex-husband says it reminds him of the smell of a dive bar: stale cigarettes mixed with cheap perfume. …Sumptuous Oud is powdery and absolutely gorgeous but not for me. It’s so beautifully retro though and for whatever reason to me it just seems to beg for Elizabeth Taylor to wear it, especially in her 1960’s roles. But again, while I appreciate this Krigler gem it’s not really my olfactory style. …Just because a fragrance is retro or vintage doesn’t mean it’s automatically my style of course (too bad Liz Taylor is no longer with us).

…I’ll be waiting for my Luckscent samples…

…What if I just don’t like oud except for the rare exception of Dior? Ha! I want to like oud. I really do. It’s a stunning and culturally and historically important note. But perhaps it’s one of those notes my skin chemistry doesn’t work well with. Ozonic notes rarely work well with my skin either. In the 2000’s and 2010’s that was especially frustrating. I’d feel almost ill if I wore really ozonic fragrances…

Oh well.

Rose Gipsy

When the antique dealer looking for the vintage Baccarat L’Heure Bleue gets in contact with us I’ll buy my unopened bottle. Right now the opened bottle is used almost daily…

Thing is though it’s almost too personal to wear so frequently. During the summer I’ll likely wrap it up carefully and put it in the permanently cool basement. We’ve thought of putting a wine cellar down there and maybe we will someday… We’ll see.

I just bought a bottle from Dior. It’s a rose. I considered MFK À La Rose but I prefer the more effeminate Dior Rose Gipsy. I also considered Aerin Rose de Grasse but that beauty has an aesthetic I appreciate profusely but can’t wear as a personal expression. And I’ll wear my new Dior frequently this summer. It’ll be my summer 2021 in a bottle…

I saw a comedian post something hilarious on Instagram today about his expectations in regard to relationships. It reminds me of a realization I’m currently having about my own relationships romantic and otherwise. I frequently make allowances for people when I know they’re needing them and I’m not going to stop doing that but I’ve almost always taken it too far… If someone genuinely leaves me questioning their sincerity and feeling rejected or unsure if I can trust them when I’m not able to keep on a happy face and be strong for them I’m not going to just keep trying. I need to focus on making this adjustment.

Most people who I’ve tried to “be strong for” other than my kids and ex-husband haven’t seemingly even appreciated my attempts anyway. I think they thought/think they were/are entitled indefinitely and if I ever happen to fall apart it’s evil and/or wrong somehow or not real and not their problem. Or they don’t realize what I’m doing in the first place.

I am their mommy. I am their nanny. I am their aunt. Their teacher. Their babysitter. Their servant. Certainly not their equal… Definitely not someone who needs their empathy. *rolling eyes*

And so I’ll wear Rose Gipsy. I’ll wear it this summer and let things fall apart here and there I guess… It’s sad but it’s time. My kids need a mom who isn’t being drained by babysitting adults who don’t care anyway.