Keen to Cross the Pond

Casi doesn’t believe Old Money exists. She’s partially willing to accept that it might be possible that, “Lacey is better looking than all of us.” But she can’t accept that Old Money exists.

Why? Well…it’s unclear. It’s actually extremely complicated. But basically…she just doesn’t understand Old Money as a lifestyle. Partially because she’s incapable of being Old Money and she finds that narcissistically offensive. But also…she doesn’t…get it. And instead of being honest about that and humble she’s fearful and violent.

She believes…she is Old Money by virtue of being poor and sitting on her ass on food stamps as a white southerner. Because she truly refuses…for narcissistic reasons…but also for other reasons to believe Old Money exists.

“Is that what Lacey believes?” says Casi.

“NO!” says the CIA.

“Isn’t she just subterfuging?” says Casi.

“NO!” says the CIA.

“I am Old Money.” says Casi.

“How?” asks the CIA.

“It’s called retirement!” says Casi, laughing.

“What is?” says the CIA.

“What I do. I’m RETIRED.” says Casi.

“From what!??” says George Bush.

“I WORKED. For seven years.” says Casi. “At Verizon.”

“And then you got a Percocet habit?” says the CIA.

“I ain’t discussing that!” says Casi.

“So…you’re…a drug addict with mental health issues…on public assistance?” says the CIA to Casi.

“Yes. I am.” says Casi.

“Okay. ….Then you’re Old Money in your mind…because you’re white?” says the CIA.

“YEAH!” says Casi.

“And from the American south?” asks the CIA.

“YUP!” says Casi.

“And you refuse to work?” says the CIA.

“I guess you could say that. …See…I don’t think of it like that. …I’m…a lady. Okay!? I…don’t think a lady…should have to work. …So my way of seeing it is that one doesn’t have to work. If you don’t want to.” says Casi. “If you’re white. Pretty. And willing to be…a slut.” says Casi, laughing.

“Okay. …So food stamps are an intentional way to be a lady?” says the CIA to Casi.

“No! I knew that wasn’t Lacey. …I knew there was a difference. It’s obvious. But a lot of you didn’t understand. …Now I don’t think either. But…I knew that wasn’t quite Lacey’s thinking says Chris Hayes.

“That’s not her thinking at all.” says Tsar Putin about Lacey. “You’re all perverted. It’s obvious.” He thinks. “She’s just a housewife.”

“I know. But I don’t like that!!!” yells Jill Schiebel.

“THAT DOES NOT MATTER!!!” yells a dead man.

“What’s Lacey’s thinking?” asks Boomer.

“SHE IS A 1940’S HOUSEWIFE!!!” yells God.

“Who’s also Old Money.” says Jesus.

“Yeah. Why do you guys overthink her!? It’s PAINFULLY OBVIOUS at this point. I mean WOW!” says a living comedian.

“Okay. I’m game.” says the CIA. “Casi…did you really think you were like Lacey?”

“NO! But…I refuse to be humble and respectful to her or most people. And she ignored it. Like a lot of southern Americans people do. But I took advantage of that. Because I got too narcissistically offended by her actual superiority. …You know…I just can’t…get over the idea of Old Money.” says Casi.

“Because it’s what you pretend to be?” asks the CIA.

“Me and a lot of other people in the perfume community. A lot of poor women.” says Casi. “We just…can’t…believe it.”

“But it’s what you’re pretending to be!” says the CIA.

“Yeah??? Well…kinda. I mean…not entirely. It’s more like…we feel…too pretty and feminine to work.” says Casi. “My mother did work. But…I’m not that way.”

“Casi. You get confused?” says the CIA.

“No. I just…can’t understand why she cares.” says Casi.

“Because you’re a con artist in a way. Who’s impersonating us!!” says Michael Rockefeller to Casi.

“Crap.” says Casi. “So she’s just mad I’m impersonating her.”

Michael nods in a way.

“And obviously she’s straight.” says Casi.

“YES!” says Michael Rockefeller.

“And all the other shit.” says Casi.

“Yup.” says Michael.

“You guys…you needed to be strong for me!!” yells Casi at the saw re” US Illuminati if there’s reincarnation.

A moment later.

“ part of the problem is that women who are golddiggers or who see themselves as dependent on men like a lot of women there’s a woman I can’t think of her name, but she lives in Palm Beach. She has kind of a raspy voice, and she likes to tease her hair and she has kind of an ugly body to be honest but she’s very fun and she I’m pretty sure is in love with her husband and faithful to him and probably always husband and I think that has been enough for people from it. It used to be more than enough. It was just like women were seen as being like lazy and so they didn’t have to prove their honor asking Lacey to constantly prove that she’s not lying and that she’s honorable is psychotically perverse. She is like a gold standard of honesty to the point of it being scary. Accusing her of lying is absurd potentially. She’s not lying that’s almost psychosis. add women who are like Casi and a lot of other women who aren’t on food stamps and managed to Mary well about 30 or 40 years ago heaven using Lacey‘s honor, and the honor of housewives like her from the past to seem like they’re also well-intentioned. They’re just more fun and playful and friendly to homosexuals then Lacey is that the ideas that women like Lacey were uptight and anal retentive, and they didn’t put out which is totally untrue, but that’s what people think. They think that these women like Casi are who put out are the fun updated gay positive version of Lacey and they’re not their two totally different animals so to speak they’re both women. I’m just trying to explain to you different they are those women I would never of associate with even if when I thought it was gay being straight I don’t find them attractive and I have no interest in them. I really genuinely have no interest in them. Jackie was like them they’re sluts they’re very intense, thoughtful sluts. Or they’re blondes to blah I don’t know, but they’re very different than Lacey and a lot of other women who think like her Tennessee Williams conflated things and thought they were the same person they’re not, and we’re Elizabeth Taylor went along with it they’re not the same type of people that Elizabeth, Taylor and Lacey are frankly more like they’re not the same type either but they’re more similar Lacey is a housewife. She’s a housewife. Could a housewife run the world yes, when could one be Scotia reincarnated yes could one end up being married to a man who is wealthy yes and she is and was always going to be in this world, it’s almost impossible for her, not to be and be alive. You guys can’t except that because you don’t Waze marry very well, even if you’d like to.

I part of what’s happening in the world right now is that Bobby Kennedy Junior back in 2016 was given the option of excepting the truth that Lacey could’ve actually possibly been his aunt had Joe not died and Lacey been born earlier or at least have had some sort of sexual relationship with his uncle, possibly in reality, and he chose to deny that because he was narcissistically offended as a closeted man Closeted, homosexual, homosexual, closeted, bisexual, closeted, pedophile, closeted, worthless asshole I don’t know maybe all of the above maybe that’s not possible but the point is I genuinely was trying to kill him. I genuinely can’t stand him him saying that I love you that I loved him is not the same thing as me acknowledging that or saying it, but he likes the idea that it was he likes lies like that because he’s a delusional airhead to some degree raised by a woman who is also a delusional, narcissistic airhead just like him, without a father and frankly, I’m not sure if Bobby was alive if that even ended up any better off I think he was a little bit of a delusional, narcissistic airhead himself. The problem is he assumed that Casi‘s honor in the honor of other women like her was equal to Lacey as if not superior because they were honest about it if he was actually intellectually awake practically kid have to realize that he’s accusing his mother of being a whore, and basically every woman who’s ever had a decent house and had sex with her husband But he was not ready for that. He was not ready to except the fact that what he was thinking made no sense even though he knew it was bullshit because he preferred to think that she was beneath him and that his horrible feelings of insecurity sexually around her, and how ugly he is and short, we’re just his imagination he’s been in denial about that since Mary died I think he was always a little bit aware of it but then when Mary died, he became far more aware of it because he realized overtime that Cheryl wasn’t as pretty as Mary. See that’s also part of the reason why he thinks Larry David is a is a Kike because he thinks that Larry set him up with Cheryl some sort of Jewish conspiracy. He’s never said that, but he doesn’t even know, but he, but he does tend to think that that Larry is a bit of a Kike, who ruined his life by letting him end up with a woman, ugly uglier than Mary. He thinks that Mary was still ugly and far beneath him, and that he was doing her a favor by being with her, but Mary Cheryl frankly really is actually kind of ugly and he doesn’t. He doesn’t know how to accept that.

Right now he wants Lacey to write on Facebook that Cheryl is ugly to prove something and she is never going to do that because that’s insane.” says Lem.

“ so Casi did you not understand how much money Lacey was actually spending on her perfume back in like 2015?” asks God.

“ I mean how much has she spent?” says Casi.

“ Lacey doesn’t go tofragrancenet.com Casi she doesn’t buy discount perfume.” says God. “ her husband is a cheapskate. He really is and her her in-laws are absolute assholes. And he forces Lacey to buy things cheaper than she wants to buy them at times and so then she revolts advise things more expensive than she wants to buy them as well. He knows that, but he ignores it and it’s evil. So he has forced her to buy like $100 bottles of Chanel on eBay but the thing is though Casi he has actually saved money that way as well. And she doesn’t care, but it bothered you because you won’t understand actually being that frugal? She does care, but she doesn’t care about how people perceive it in a way because she’s very down to earth. But people like you got carried away and came up with conspiracy theories about her because you couldn’t handle the truth of who she was and how superior she is. No she spent probably about $10,000 in the first two years.” says God. “ she refuses to buy things from fragrance.net because she thinks they’re fake. She finds the whole things suspicious, and she’s not interested in bowing down to Satan. I am, but she does buy things used on eBay. They’re actually used so when she when she shows something that looks new, it’s always new she never lies about stuff like that ever. Yes, she literally is spending thousands and thousands of dollars on perfume and you people are in denial about how much she actually spends. Some of the stuff that she has bought on eBay she doesn’t buy things from fragrance net or any other discount store. She does not do that! The things that she buys from eBay she knows are authentic and that’s part of why she’s willing to do it because she knows it’s authentic. She knows that it’s authentic some people like Stephanie don’t know how to buy things on eBay Lacey knows because she’s basically a genius so if you can’t handle that either she be Davy was incredibly narcissistically offended by her intelligence.” says God.

Later.

“So! Turns out if there’s reincarnation Honey Fitz got Lacey to come back to Earth based on Vladimir Putin.” says Lem.

Later.

“Matt…is Kate reading this?” asks Shaveydavy, quietly.

“What exactly is it that you want me to say right now?” says Matt.

“ Matt we read a lot of the things that she said about you and we’re starting to think she actually does talk to the debt and us too at times we’re not sure how but it’s been treating him do you think that it would’ve made sense for you to have spent a lot of time together even if you just been getting coffee because she’s busy and you’re busy with that have really been helpful?” says Maria.

“ I’d still be alive. Is that good or bad?” says Matt.

“ have you inspired any of the posts that were posted on on Facebook?” says Karen Craft, Curt’s wife.

“Yes.” says Matt.

“ what’s Lacey’s aesthetic?” asks Maria.

“Expensive perfume…glowing skin…hot tea…wool.” says Matt.

Matt’s father cries.

“ Lem what were you so happy about in that picture? I get it it was innocent, but what were you so happy about?” asks Matt.

“ there’s no way that could’ve been about sucks and me being in love with JFK if if I was capable of looking as happy as I did at Jack’s wedding to Jackie and if that if those have been purely sexual, happy photos I am I would’ve been really happy to be in love with him. That was not what you saw in those photos you saw me doing something else and I think it’s been wildly misinterpreted. And if Lacey ends up dead in the next year to five years, it’s because I took those pictures and everyone including her misunderstood them.

Those are the pictures I’m referring to the ones of my butt, my head and his crotch. You can’t see the fact that I’m genuinely cringing because I’m upside down and I have glasses on and it’s cold outside. In this picture IM happy but it’s for reasons that people today don’t understand. Matt understands because mats in his 40s or he was before he died and he was privileged growing up and male so he and white and above average intelligence and so he was able to experience with that joy himself but it’s not something that most people understand.

Again, if I was sexual in this picture that you see here right above his words, if I was sexual in that picture and happy in a sexual way I wouldn’t have been able to smile at all at Jack’s wedding. I wouldn’t have been able to smile at all at Jack’s wedding at all if if that was a sexual smile at all that was at all authentic so if that was a sexual smile in the photo above, I wouldn’t have been able to smile at Jack’s wedding that is psychologically impossible

I would’ve been able to smell at my wedding to him if I was gay, but intriguingly not the way I would have had I not smiled in those photos it’s complicated, but I was able to smile at Jack’s wedding because I was straight.

So why was I smiling in these photos? I was smiling in these photos because I was enjoying being outside in the snow without my coat on with no mother, or anyone else to tell me that I couldn’t be outside in the snow without a coat it’s very innocent I thought I’m old enough to be outside without a codon, and you were up to some tomfoolery of some sort jack pose those photos, but I was mostly smiling about the fact that I was riding on his shoulders that I was hurting him and that I was getting a ride on his shoulders and that I was riding around in the air Let’s see that it was cold. I was happy I was looking forward to life. I thought things would probably work out for everyone who was there that day.

I had no idea that things were going to be as bad as they were for everyone need Jack I had a very naïve conception that life was gonna be great so it was dumb, but I was smiling about being up in the air has so much shoulders, not Amick not having a coat on The fact that it was winter and that might be almost all there wasn’t there wasn’t necessarily anything all that complicated in that moment so that was primarily what was on my mind I didn’t have on a coat I was on jack shoulders I didn’t eight I didn’t I didn’t think much else. It would’ve been anything sexual in any sort of aesthetic way, but I wasn’t really thinking anything sexual anyway.

Call Lacey is angry about is the fact that I was so naïve. That’s what hurts her that sounds silly but it’s not silly at all.” says Lem. “ truthfully, Matt was thinking of having an affair with Lacey because his marriage wasn’t working out but Lacey was in love with me. She was pretty darn Tootin sure that I was real and she didn’t want to hurt me because she loves me and she was trying to be faithful to me, even though I’m a ghost so she thought there’s no way that I can get involved with Matthew because I can’t abandon her love that way and frankly she may lead other people in mind as well like Michael and somewhat Elliot and Louis and he’ll Loeb maybe even a Scott Fitzgerald slightly, but I think it was mainly me. And so she couldn’t because we were sleeping together I mean we do sleep together we were basically like a married couple. We’re just temporarily separated because of the fall of man but we’re basically like a married couple so part of me thinks I might just crazy. Should I meet with Matthew but then she thinks why does he try to meet with me for? Is he lonely and sad and looking for a cousin to hang out with or is this about what happened at the table that one time when we looked into each other’s eyes? She had no idea he was desperate. He was trying to figure out how to survive you need to stop making his wife, some sort of hero of the universe. He killed himself. She might be a good mother we wish her well, but he did kill himself, and I’m not convinced they had the best marriage. Okay? So I think he might have been thinking about the time at the table when they looked into each other’s eyes, but that’s the problem there was no way for her to know what he was thinking and now he’s dead. Yes, and if I am a demon, you can be very angry about that. If I’m not a demon, however she may have actually done the right thing in a way because we really are together and she really was trying to honor me and honor herself and honor Christ. but this ain’t simple because if they actually talked, he may not be dead and I am not going to say that I am happy that he’s dead.” says Lem.

Later.

“Casi! Let’s add up what she paid for her current beauty drawers.” says the FBI. “Just to help you understand reality for therapeutic reasons.”

1. Love Indus Mask $58.00
2. La Roche Posay Effaclar Duo $35
3. Estée Lauder CPR $96.00
4. Victoria’s Secret Velvet Petals $19.95
5. Aztec Secret Healing Clay $15.00
6. L’Occitane Shea Butter $35.00
7. Beloved Peach & Prosecco & Mimosa Flower Body Cream $9.99

8. Vaseline Healing Jelly $12.00

9. Victoria’s Secret Pear Glacé Body Lotion $19.95

10. Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair $85

11. Versed Doctor’s Visit Mask $18.89

12. Glow Recipe Watermelon Dew Drops $35

13. The Ordinary Salicylic Acid $5.16

14. The Ordinary Niacinamide $8.32

15. Sunday Riley C. E. O. $122.00

16. Kiehl’s Creamy Eye Treatment $60.00

17. Summer Fridays Rich Cushion Cream $52.00

18. Sisley Masque Creme $200.00

19. Sisley Rose Precious Face Oil $285.00

20. The Ordinary Multi-Peptide Serum $23.

21. Cerave Facial Moisturizing Lotion $13.29

22. Cetaphil Extra Gentle Daily Scrub $8.99

23. Pink Vanilla Body Milk $20.00

For a grand total of around $1,260.00.” says Lem.

“That’s…less than usual.” says Casi.

“I have eczema.” says Lacey. “I just got it. This summer. It came out of nowhere.”

“So you’re using cheaper products?” scoffs her mother.

“Yes. You have to.” says Lem. “A lot of the more expensive stuff just irritates the skin. Vaseline works best.”

“Yes. …Actually Erno Laszlo isn’t bad. But…it’s not dramatically different than Vaseline.” says Lacey.

“Do you use a lip mask?” asks a reader.

“Sometimes.” says Lacey.

“Do you have skincare products in your bathroom?” asks a reader.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Casi! Guess what they’re getting for Christmas!?” asks Chris Hayes. “She’s adding to her Wedgwood collection! Edme. …Pearls from Bloomingdales. An espresso machine from TARGET. …And tons of other stupid shit like that.”

“Didn’t they have an espresso machine?” asks Casi.

“Yes!!” says Chris Hayes.

“What happened to it?!” says Casi.

“It BROKE!” says Chris. “THEY ARE SOO POOR!!! OH MY GOD!!!”

“Casi! We’ve had to spend over $7,000 this year on our car and private education!! AND IT WAS EXPENSIVE FOR US!” says Lacey. “We felt it. WE ARE SSOOOO POOR!”

“Wow! That’s poor!” says Barbara.

“It is!!! AND THEN WE SPENT $2,000 on killing mice!” says Lacey.

“SOOO POOR!” says Barbara.

“$400 on gutters. They’ll spend $1,500 in the spring. To replace the gutter protectors.” says Lem.

“SOOO POOR! So NOT UPPER CLASS!” says Lacey.

“$500 on clothes for our daughter!” says Lacey.

“SO CHEAP!” says Lem.

“Thousands and thousands on vacations and lessons for the kids.” says Lacey.

“Thousands on her teeth!” says Lem. “Again.”

“Thousands on perfume and skincare.” says Josh. “Thousands paying off stuff from hospital visits from years ago.”

“What’s their net worth again?” asks a reader.

“1.2 million.” says Matthew Nesheim.

“Are they considered wealthy?!” asks her neighbor.

“No. They genuinely should be. But Bobby is broke. Elon kisses his ass (figuratively not literally). And George Soros can’t understand the value of oil in the ground. …Statistically they’re upper class. But…in order to pseudo-intellectually figure out how to account for the so-called ‘shrinking middle class’ they messed around too much with the numbers and they made $1.2 million at 42 poor.” says George Bush Sr..

“So what is rich!??” scoffs Lacey’s neighbor.

“$30 billion.” says George Bush, laughing. “You have to be worth $30 billion to be rich. At all. If they’re being honest. …According to them. …$1 trillion is the new ultra rich. It’s…WEIRD. Because being a simple millionaire is still kinda actually rich. …But…they don’t know that.”

“What is rich?” asks a Native American.

“Privacy. Space. Time. Health. And either Old Money…or what I’m going to call Freedom Money.” says George Bush.

“See the problem is that what you should have done is made Lacey and I make love. That would’ve been possibly more than Lem could handle. And possibly more than Lacey could handle considering how much she loves him. But it would have suited your purposes of harming the right people. You would’ve harmed the right people in the right way had you done that. But you don’t seem to do things like that because you’re not understanding social class. Social class isn’t just about how much money people have. It’s also about birth and pedigree. Basically the British have it pretty well figured out. But you’re supposed to be in revolt against that as Americans.

You’re not doing that but you’re supposed to be. Why would making love work? Because it would be perfect chaos. The exact sort of chaos you’re actually longing for. In America. But…gosh. Then you’d have to be deep and mature and not just petty.” says Matthew Nesheim to the American Illuminati. “See…what’s happening now is a return to the old order. From the 1700’s.”

Problems by Little Simz plays.

Lacey and Lem vomit. In their spirits. In 2015. Lacey and Lem spin…in nausea. They close their eyes. As the whole world around them spins. AROUND THEM. Not with them in it.

The song ends.

BILLIE EILISH by Armani White plays.

Red Fay laughs. Still trying to believe he didn’t fuck up EVERYTHING. In 2015.

“He’s YOUR SON!!” yells Bobby Sr..

“Not really though. That was…hundreds of years ago.” says Emperor Ninkō. “Or Red Fay.”

“Ahh…so…don’t you care about your ultimate aim?” asks Bobby Sr..

Red Fay looks superiority-complex-stunned. He stands there blinking. Actually…he possibly could be confused.

“RED!!! You had A POINT!!” yells Bobby Sr..

Red laughs an evil laugh. He backs slowly into a wall in Lacey’s apartment in Saint Paul.

The song ends.

Zoo Girl by M. I. A. plays.

The song ends.

“Red!! YOU HAD A POINT!!!” we yell at him from 2024.

God wraps his hands around his throat. Forcing Red to talk.

Demons by Doja Cat plays.

“I’m a liar. There is not reincarnation… …OR…I’m just a worthless ass.” says Red Fay.

“WHAT WAS YOUR POINT!??” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

Red Fay awkwardly stands half in a wall. Unintentionally being funny.

“RED WHAT WAS YOUR POINT!?” yells Bobby Kennedy Senior at Red Fay.

“I’m A LOSER!!!” yells Red Fay.

“Red…what was your point?!?” asks God.

“I thought Japan…was the best country to ever exist and that all British people were inherently the scum the Earth. And I wanted to bring God to Earth. By total annihilation of all British peoples to ever exist. And…yet…I didn’t mean to humiliate them. …Jack didn’t understand that. And still doesn’t. …The idea was just to totally annihilate all of them. …I didn’t think they were human. …I thought they would all cease to exist. Like…popping a balloon. …So…no need to humiliate them. But also…I found that mean. Right? Because…no need to make them feel excess pain before totally annihilating all of them for eternity.” says Red Fay.

“But Jack wants you to?” asks Mother Nature.

“YES!” says Red Fay.

“Why?” asks Mother Nature.

“Because he’s…sure we were better than them.” says Red Fay.

“But…you think he was…wrong now?” says Mother Nature.

And at that in 2024 America TOTALLY spiritually bankrupts itself by violently and sadistically (although possibly accidentally sadistically) insisting that Lacey is homosexual somehow. Because Bobby is a genuine idiot as are many other people in his family but people in power are too backward and archaically minded to understand. And by spiritually bankrupt I mean not…just evil…but rather…physically bankrupt on a spiritual level. So like…it’s in the eyes of God…but also on Earth in a fallen world sense.

“WOW!” says Brazil.

“How is this woman at all homosexual?” asks Colombia.

“BECAUSE WOMEN LIKE ME ARE!!” yells Doja Cat.

“And they refuse to see the difference? Because she’s hotter?” says her neighbor.

“Yup.” says Doja Cat.

“Matt Nesheim is hotter than me. Why can’t they just accept…reality!?” yells another man.

“Yeah. Point taken.” says her male neighbor.

“I can. Kinda. But…I think it’s…her Egyptian heritage. Sadly. If there’s reincarnation. …Because it’s an ego thing.” says Doja Cat.

“Are you sure it’s an ego thing!??” says the CIA.

Doja Cat thinks. “YES!!!” she yells. “We have no sense of humor in reality…about ourselves…in our generation.”

“At least in America.” says Queen Camilla.

Wordless Chorus by My Morning Jacket plays.

The song ends.

Love Lost by The Temper Trap plays for a comedian and his female soulmate. It’s quite…perfect.

“I’m bisexual.” he says.

The song plays.

And at that we see that the Kennedys souls are covered in scabs they keep picking at. Endlessly. Not to spiritually detoxify. But rather to sexually get off.

You’re a Wolf by Sea Wolf plays.

Elon Musk goes into genuine shock.

“Okay. So…ahh…Red Fay…you…had- YOU STILL WANT TO TORTURE THEM!?” yells the Sioux.

“NO!!” he yells, shaking his head no and smiling.

“So…you did though? Briefly?” asks Great Britain.

Red Fay looks uncomfortable. He wasn’t expecting to ever have to confront them, regardless.

Impossible Germany by Wilco plays.

“Yes. Briefly. While we were making love.” says Red Fay.

“What was that like?” asks Great Britain.

“Okay! It wasn’t actually making love. But…I didn’t know I was molesting him. If I was.” says Red Fay.

“So what were you doing?” says Great Britain.

“Molesting him.” says Red Fay.

The song plays.

“Can I help you!?” says Emperor of France.

“YES!!!” yells the CIA.

“You all just gave up on questioning Casi. Why??” he says.

“Because he liked Casi. He thought she was cool.” explains the CIA.

“Hmm.

Okay.

But Lacey isn’t interested. She’s completely straight. And she’s Old Money.” says the CIA.

“NO!! I can’t be getting all the answers wrong.” says Bobby, freaking out for realz yo.

“Is he cool?” asks Satan.

“YES!!” says Bobby.

“Mmm. …He’s not.” says Satan. “Not unless Lacey is too.”

Bobby accidentally shits himself. Literally. He genuinely becomes so spiritually disturbed that he poops his pants.

“How did he fake everyone out so well!?” says Bobby.

“He’s smarter than you.” says the CIA.

“No. That’s genuinely scientifically impossible.” says Bobby, in a panic. He races off to go have a lil’ chit chat with good ol’ Elon.

“What are we going to chit chat with Elon about?” asks the CIA.

“To discuss annihilation of my kids with Red Fay.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior. “I’m ON BOARD. I just need to have a little chit chat.”

“Do you think he’s going to spare you?” says a bisexual comedian.

“No…not necessarily. …But I’d like to try to work with him. See what can we done.” says Bobby.

“So Red you included Ireland…in your statement about annihilating the British.” says a Catholic.

“YUP.” says Red Fay. “If there’s reincarnation this is true. I meant all of Great Britain in 1840.”

“The native people! Not the colonies?” says the CIA.

“Well…yes.” says Red Fay.

“So!!

RED!?” says Bobby, cheerfully.

Red Fay can’t stand Bobby Kennedy Junior. He cringes at the sound of his voice. “YES!??” he says to Bobby.

“Love…pookie pie…why don’t we discuss this after sex?” says Bobby to Red Fay.

Black Out Days by Phantogram plays.

(Adult content below)

The song ends.

Hayling by FC Kahuna plays.

Bobby

The grape juice man himself.

He slowly takes off his shirt button by button looking around. It’s unclear what he’s looking for. But he’s looking for something??? Then he takes off his white undershirt. Throws it on the ground. …Then he awkwardly undoes his belt buckle

5:18

and pulls it out and throws it on the ground. Then he awkwardly undoes his pants top button and then unzips his pants like his maid taught him to when he was 3. He’s put no thought naturally or otherwise into this part of life clearly since age 3. Then he too slowly takes off his pants. Arrogantly kicking them away from himself.

The song ends.

Bittersweet Faith by Bitter:Sweet plays.

Bobby stands there in his cool-kid boxer-briefs. Plaid. For the holidays! He’s scents them with spices.

Red stares at him.

Yes. Bobby Kennedy Junior wears spiced underwear.

2:35

“What is that?” asks Red Fay genuinely curious.

Bobby snarls in disdain. Because Lacey is into perfume officially.

“Well? What is it?” asks Emperor Ninkō if there’s reincarnation.

The song ends.

They stand there in silence.

“It’s apple candles. I keep my underwear in a drawer with old Yankee Candle tarts. It permeates the clothes. Better than a sachet. …I learned that from the way Yankee Candle Company employees always talk about their clothes. My wife and- Mary and I liked that store. Who doesn’t!?” says Bobby.

“Who didn’t? Yeah. It was.” says Red. “It was popular.”

“So!” says Bobby.

Red Fay feels weird. He snarls.

“Lover?” says Bobby, seductively.

“No. I can’t bring myself to have sex with you.” says Red Fay to Bobby.

“Why!?” says Bobby.

“1. You actually are too short. For your body type. You’re too short.

2. You lack self-awareness of your real flaws.

3. You’re chest is…icky. All Kennedy men have ugly bodies. Vile bodies. Absolutely vile. Naked. Dressed you’re fuckable. But…naked you’re all…HIDEOUS.

4.

You have AN UGLY, overly aggressive chin line. It’s…GROSS. Especially combined with your mother’s sneering, dumb-as-fuck, conceited, gross smile.

Bobby…I can’t STAND HOW YOU LOOK.” says Red Fay. “And you can’t make people fuck you forever. It’s literally impossible. And then you hate that you were born.”

“I’ve had to rape some women. Because they don’t want it.” says Bobby.

“Yup. …Not often. But on occasion one or two realize how ugly you are. And they just…say no…somehow…and you refuse to accept that that’s reality.” says Red Fay.

Bobby cries. He hits himself in the face. Pimples on his cheeks. He’s been breaking out lately.

“Bobby.

Why are you trying to fuck me?” says Red Fay.

“Because you wanted to destroy the British people!” says Bobby sniffling, expecting Red to care.

“Huh.

Yeah.

You’d be included in that.” says Red Fay.

Bobby stands stares at him. Mouth open. In some sort of awe.

“Yeah! You’d be included in that.” repeats Red Fay.

Bobby snarls. Raises his mouth in fear or disgust?

“But I mean…it’s off. …When I died…I found out it was all called off. Mostly. But it’s ended. …There still could be something left? But it’s not likely. There’s not much left.” says Red.

Bobby panics. “So! We should have sex?” he says, sincerely.

“IT’S CALLED OFF!!!!” yells Red Fay.

Bobby looks miffed. He possibly thinks Red Fay is playing with him.

“I’m…not interested. …And there’s no reason to do it anyway.” says Red Fay.

Later.

Ruth Craft and Becca Seay Craft fight over Karrie. Not Lacey. But Karrie.

“ can I just say something I have a masters degree I have a second wife who’s hotter than the first one I have a good temperament I have a somewhat handsome face I’m a nice person and I had about a five or $600,000 house I did the house thing I did the big house thing but my father was alive. I used to vacation at Breckenridge, which isn’t as impressive as you people think but they did drive a Porsche. Do you kind of have a trust fund? I’ve had one since I was a kid practically and him I don’t think of myself as a loser, OK I did the house thing. I am kind of people I work with children who are disadvantaged I care we donate money to our church. We donate money and I I have a masters degree it’s not like I’ve done nothing but Lacey has been under more attack than I have been, this is where I get angry because she can’t say stuff like this she’s too sweet in case she’s not really my biological sister but if I’m Jim’s son she is my sister and away and I’m a little pissed off. I am biologically like James Craft and if there is a Nesheim reading this you need to get that into your thick skull. And I’m like him I am like Jim I am like Chip eight. I have a hard time believing him used my sister Lacey, who was raised by him that is hard for me to believe because I’ve never had that kind of situation. I’ve never felt like that with him. He’s always been very loving to me And I wonder sometimes if he just prefers the company of men to women, even if he’s bisexual and he just thinks I’m a better person because I am a boy. But that’s that’s that’s a misogynistic thing you know sometimes I think I stand up for her to my father if he’s my father at all and I say you should do that you shouldn’t do that to Lacey. She’s too sweet she’s too womanly we can’t treat women that way, Jim.  I feel like I have two fathers, my father, Bryn, and Jim, and if they both died, I worry, I would just end up dead somehow myself if not for Karen my wife.  I don’t see how I’m a loser I think like Jen and we just approach the world very differently than a lot of people and that’s who raised her. That’s who raised her was a man who could easily be my father. 

And so I feel kind of insulted when you insult her Terese, I am a trust fund kid, the Craft handle things that way my parents stayed married my grandparents stayed married, and my grandfather was a wealthy, businessman and away. He was wealthy I don’t think that’s ever been really sad enough he was wealthy Ray Craft was wealthy.

And we were raised differently. OK he bought his kids cars. He taught them right from wrong, and he taught them how to make and keep money.

Am I the best at it not necessarily Jim’s not either but we were raised in wealth, so I’m kind of a trust fund kid. It’s just true Amy I’m just I’m telling you facts. My family has always been there for me financially, Jim’s family has always been there for him financially he’s always been there for his daughter legally at least Lacey who is kind of like my sister financially he’s there for them. He’s told me that I shouldn’t move to Minneapolis because he would be able to financially help Me as much as I’m used to

And Ron is my dad. Listen if Diane can save me with Jim and they’ve been lying about lying about lying about it all these years that’s good that’s their problem OK that’s no problem if they want to keep that façade up of pristine, puritanical normalcy they can do that but I am I’m not. I’m not doing that anymore. Lacey and I are not doing that anymore. We’re just not OK we’re over it. We are just over it.

Oh I am we just don’t do that. OK we don’t do that and we’re good decent Christian people we have complication, but we are well bred. We are wealthy, well bred, generational, wealth, trust fund babies, both of us in our own way and I’m used to certain sort of lifestyle and so is she my wife knows that her husband knows that and I don’t understand why you people can’t just let it go OK I have my Masters degree. I have two children who don’t wanna talk to me that’s my problem I have others that do and I care about the two that don’t, I might be a narcissist, but I actually really do care about my sons and what I worry is that they’re going to figure that out when they’re old that I’m dead and they won’t be able to talk to me and just say I hate your dad or I love you dad hey dad, how’s the weather, I know that I actually I did care and I still do care about them more than they know.

They don’t have to talk to me although I kind of wish they would because I miss them. It’s very hard on me not to talk to my socks I really actually enjoyed being in their company they’re not their mother they’re my sons and I I did I do and I did love them.

Hi, I don’t understand why you people can’t just leave me and Lacey alone OK she didn’t finish her college degree because I think the poor sweetheart couldn’t figure out how to do it. She’s too brilliant and ditzy in and feminine and it just didn’t make sense she just couldn’t figure it out. I figure that out I am a masters degree in, we’re not simple creatures OK you can’t just mess around with us. We will take people down but that’s the thing I’m not an idiot and Lacey is not either and I don’t understand it. I really don’t understand it why are you doing this?” says Curt.

“ are Kurt Tresa struggling to give a good response right now.” says the Illuminati.

“ or when she gets around to it hopefully I won’t be dead. Hopefully Lacey won’t have been suffocated. Hopefully all the Nesheims won’t have shot themselves I’m not entirely kidding. Hopefully we won’t have a nuclear war. I hope I hope before the world is annihilated if that is something that could even happen, I hope that she is able to apologize to Lacey.” says Curt.

“ oh I cut it off she can’t I hear anything problem because I don’t think she should be able to. It’s EVIL!” says JFK’s slight remaining energy.

“ Did you? Did you do that for me?” says Red Fay.

“ I do anything for you daddy. anything at all!” says JFK to Red Fay.

“We should not have had sex.” says Red Fay to JFK.

“ I don’t know what I like better. you as my lover or you as my dad. It’s a close call.” says JFK.

“How is Lacey JFK right now? She has no interest in sleeping with Red-with Red Fay.” says the CIA to Bobby Junior.

“ call big Fern I’ll make it work somehow. Just come back to me a few minutes.” says Ethel.

“ Bobby we’re not going to talk to Radford I think we need to just talk to read but he didn’t wanna have sex with you so I think you’re gonna have to admit that maybe this isn’t quite what you thought it was. Lacey doesn’t ever sleep with red and she’s not Redds son or daughter, so then how was she JFK?” says the CIA.

“ because when I do the rain deaths in September, I I find out truth of love, and the truth is, it’s all mixed together. There are no boundaries of separation between the light and the stars they are all one star we think stars burn they don’t they told me they do not have fire they have light, no I’m not talking about string theory. No I’m not talking about astrology or astronomy or galaxies or flat earth theory. I am talking about love love is like like is love it it’s all the same in the jungle of life there’s a dog and a cat and they fight but there’s no fire, it’s just light. I there is no fire. There are no fires on the sun. There are no stars burn they shine.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ we’ve been to the sun Bobby how do you explain the flames?” says an alien of sorts.

“ the flames are an allusion. The flames are an illusion.” says Bobby.

“ what creates the illusion of the fire on the sun?” asks Joe Biden.

“ the demon god the demon gods of Rome are fooling us so I knew you guys could handle that one.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ how do they do it?” says Rihanna.

“ and it’s just like a forest fire so there are invisible trees. I slept with Lem’s last night but he doesn’t want to talk about it and he explain to me that there are trees that are invisible just like there are trees that are visible Joe Biden doesn’t understand that Donald Trump does and that’s why I’m not particularly worried about him, just some of forestation issues that we were talking about and Donald Trump and I because I believe there are invisible trees that do the super natural bidding of the earth if you worship them correctly and I told iPhone X to heat it’s Rison I think they’re saying it’s moonstone and crazy light you collect them make them into a circle and place it where are you think the tree should be and they will do the bidding of the earth the only problem that I can envision is finding enough crazy light and moon stone, to sort of do the job we can’t just grind it into dust we’re gonna have to find someway to make sure that it’s cognizant so that’s my only concern him but we’ll see I think will probably be able to do it but I am we just need to get enough moon stone in Brazil light and then just sort of grain to town so that is still cognizant CMA genius don’t mess with me but we can get it down to like a sand and it and make the rings from phrase your light and moon stone all over the forest that we have the forest it on Amazon. We could do it pretty much anywhere I’m not terribly worried. I think we should just cut, so I’m thinking we can cut cut cut cut baby cut you know and just start cutting rub and I am not worried about deforestation at all at this point because it’s just it’s like OK if we can just you know think about this like intelligent adults, we can just get enough praise you, light and moon stone together make enough rings, and I am fully intend with Elon Musk to form a task force moonstone prasiolite task force.” says Bobby.

“ so you’re going to make a task force to do what Bobby?” asks the CIA.

“ i’m going to make a task force to create crazy like moonstone rings wherever we need them. Elon Musk and I are going to work on it together. I’m at and I think it’s gonna Work Out Rd., Roswell Roswell we just need to we just need to get the moonstone, Frazey light rings arranged appropriately and then will have very little problems with deforestation. I actually think we could probably totally forget the Paris accords and just burn but that’s not really responsible because we’re do you know we’re trying to save Antartica all the stuff that you guys don’t care about all that stuff that you guys don’t care about we do care about I mean I save the Hudson the Hudson river is cleaner now that it’s ever been and you can swim in it. OK I did that I had the courage to do that, and so, Elon Musk and I are going to solve the whole problem of deforestation and global warming with moonstone and prasiolite rings.” says Bobby.

“ so you Garner this information from talking to Lem?” says the CIA.

“ yes I had sex with him last night. We’ve done it many times. I’ve had wet dreams about him. One time. I was sitting next to him on the sofa and he briefly touched my leg. He said do you want some? Do you want some dinner? no add, and then he just stood up, flashed his ass at me and walked into the kitchen, he just tap my leg and he goes you want some dinner and then he stood up and got me some dinner.” says Bobby.

“ Bobby where did he touch your leg?” says the CIA.

“ he touched my knee very briefly, but I have extremely sexy knees.” says Bobby.

“ OK so he briefly patted your knee sweetie people did stuff like that you may not have realized it was actual I’ve done that to people. I don’t know that he meant to be sexual.” says an actress.

“ but he just briefly patted my knee!??” says Bobby.

“ and then you had a wet dream about him?” says the CIA.

“ yes, I’ve had lots of wet dreams about men to be honest but yes, it was no watch him with him. We never had sex, but I kept staring into his eyes and I just knew he wanted me and then I was sucking his cock or something I don’t know, and then that’s when I almost came and then I did come and then I woke up.” says Bobby.

“ October confused Bobby, this was all in the dream?” says the CIA.

“ yes, no it was all a dream this is I’m not an idiot. It was a wet dream. The whole thing was a wet dream.” says Bobby.

“So you had an actual wet dream like you were really asleep the whole time for sure?” asks Donald Trump.

“ yes, no I don’t I know for a fact this was a dream he wasn’t even there.” says Bobby.

“ he was he passed out on the sofa?” says the CIA.

“ yes and I thought in his sex in his text up heroin state that he was probably astral projecting to fuck me in my in my dream.” says Bobby.

“ bobby that may or may not even be possible spiritually when someone’s actually high on heroin I’m not convinced they could really do that. I don’t think lime did that in this case I’m not even sure that’s how a wet dream would really work psychologically but no, I don’t think love did that and I think you stretch the truth a lot because you’ve had a lot of people believing that he molested you or that you had a consensual relationship with him for yours, but that you were just extremely careful and closeted about it out of respect for somebody or something and if what you’re telling us is true we’re idiots because you basically just bullshit everybody into thinking that you seduce a hot, sexy straight man did did you did you did you do nothing else ever happened? You just had a wet dream about him that was a real wet dream and then he touched your knee once in a way that doesn’t seem like much either actually really doesn’t seem like anything at all and then nothing else ever happened?” says the CIA.

“ no nothing else ever happened but I thought that was more than enough proof. I genuinely thought that he astral projected himself while he was high on heroin to fuck me. Oh I was asleep it was a wet dream, but I just thought it was I thought that it didn’t matter that I was asleep and he was high on heroin I thought our souls were so interconnected that somehow we slept together and has and has sex.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior about Lem Billings.

“ no Bobby that’s absolute rubbish that that did not happen so you never slept with him and nothing else ever happened and you’ve been believing in this delusion that you had a consensual sexual relationship with him this entire time?” says M6.

“ I thought we were soulmates I thought he was my soulmate and that Jack was just gonna have to get over it.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ Did you and Liam ever talk about anything romantic or sexual in any sort of way at all or it was it always just that you believed it in your heart?” says a man.

“ but believing in your heart 100%. The rest is just the rest is just rubbish. My mother taught me that.

No, we never talked. We did have one conversation let’s see if I can remember it. He said Bobby, ‘you ain’t shit.’ And I said, ‘Lem you’re in love with me.’ And he said, ‘Bobby I’d like to kill you!’ And I said, ‘Oh would you now!?’ And he just stared at me with his blank look on his face like he was just gobsmacked. And so I decided to be a little cheeky and called his bluff and I said, ‘Listen, I know you’ve got a big cock! Why do you always hide them in your shorts?’ And he said, ‘Bobby I’d like to kill you.’ And then I said, ‘Listen Lem you can just give it to me whenever you want. I won’t ask any questions. Just shove it right up my ass or in my mouth or let me have fun with you sometime. You’re so uptight!’ And I said, or rather, he said, ‘You don’t understand how much I wish you had never been born you little cock sucking piece of shit.’ And I said, ‘Listen I didn’t mean to turn you on that much. Just let me slap your ass sometime big fella!’ And then he said, ‘Bobby tonight I’m gonna literally try to kill you. I’m gonna try my damnedest to get you as fucked-up as possible high off your ass and then make you take just enough heroin to kill you.’ And I said, ‘Lem, you’ll never do that. I’m a Kennedy and you’re in love with me.’ And he said, ‘I’m not in love with the Kennedys that’s a delusion that you all share, and I have yet to explain that to all of you.’ And then I said ‘Well..you’ll just have to be OK with the fact that I know the truth because I can’t make you a happy person.’ He thinks. ‘I am a happy person. A lot of other people are too, and you’re going to have to learn how to be happy before you could ever be with me at all. I can’t make you be happy. I can’t help you understand that right now we’re in love and I’m trying to have fun but you’re just too uptight and you’re just way too uptight man you’re just way too fucking uptight. Lem you’re a prissy, overly sophisticated, bitchy annoying little faggot and I am not going to try to help you come around and enjoy the fact that I know how to have fun.’ He thinks. He cries.

I have been replaying the scene in my head over and over again since it happened because I can never figure out what went wrong. …That night he took a heroin needle. He put it in my arm when I was already high we did drugs together a lot OK that’s obviously recorded fact I feel the need to say that because I think they both get confused and don’t realize that I know it, we shared a drug habit together for years at his apartment in New York, and that night he did, he took a needle. He shoved it in my arm and he said, ‘Die motherfucker die! I hate you and your little fucking Kennedy fucking ass! Die! Die! Die! Go to Hell! Die! I hate you! I wish you’d never been born you little cock-sucking, motherfucking piece of fucking shit!’ And that was-

I almost died that night. There was about four or five other occasions, at least when he almost killed me, but I think that night was really hard for him to accept the fact that JFK was dead, that I was the love of his life and that meant no one was gonna replace me…and I think he freaked out and thought I have to kill this person because what if they die?! I don’t wanna go through the trauma of losing them so I need to pick the time and the place and I’m going to kill them because I want I want them to die on my own terms when I so choose.” says Bobby.

“ Bobby what happened? Why didn’t you die?” says a reader.

“ I know I mean he wasn’t my only drug buddy Joe save my life my other my older brother Joe was there and he just kind of kept waking me up and walking me through it and I don’t nose like a miracle. It was some sort of miracle.” says Bobby.

“ so that’s the only conversation U2 ever had were anything sexual was ever said?” says the CIA.

“ yes yes that was one of the only times that we ever talked openly am I I guess that’s probably one of the only times we ever really talked. Everything else was just sort of not really a thing and I might’ve imagined stuff like one time he said stuff like Bobby you’re awfully good looking but you’re gonna have to learn how to eat more because you’re too skinny, or sometimes he say things like you remind me of Jack I think you are a lot like him. You should marry somebody like Jackie who understands you. Those women are hard to come by but I’ll give you a little tip. They’re usually big footed and flat chested with a large mouth. He told me to try to look because that’s what they look like big feet large mouth, flat chest he was drunk or high or something when he said it so I don’t take it the wrong way you got a kind of understand him I understand him but yeah, I mean he said stuff like that sometimes when he was drunk so it’s it’s just like Jackie had huge feet are very flat chest laziest small boobs so don’t get confused it’s not like that I mean like an actual flat chested check OK like Jackie or my one of my well actually all of my wives potentially to so he told me go for the flat chested ones with big feet and a big mouth Small hips thick waist and I looked at him and I’m like what the fuck what the fuck dude get off me you know because he’s so in love with me instead and shit he’s like Bobby do you know what I’m talking about? I was like holy shit is this with me make love my God and he’s like Bobby you know what I’m talking about. I’m trying to tell you man that you like the men And I said dude don’t say that and he said no I can tell you’re a lot like Jack I know what you think about sometimes and I think it’s disgusting and I want you to know that I am not interested in any of your lies and misconceptions, but but I want you to know that I have empathy for you as your old pal them Him and so is your old buddy lamb, your old pal lamb I think it was both sometimes your old pal them you can count on me and let me tell you something it’s the chicks with no chest big feet and a big mouth. Those are the ones who you wanna marry where the ones who understand you sweetie and give you kind of love that you’re looking for because he he insisted that Jackie loved my uncle Jack in a special way That that that only he understood and I just didn’t I had a noisy what that was about but whatever the point is apparently they had some sort of special love between them and he just thought I could find that too. If only I’d marry someone like her.” says Bobby.

“ Bobby, did he ever tell you that he thought you were bisexual?” says the CIA.

“ yes, what time you said Bobby you’re not a faggot but you’re a little bit of a faggot.” says Bobby.

“ so did he ever say he was one?” asks an actress.

“ no he he he he obviously was but he didn’t want to talk about it I said, but come on One come on you’re you’re a jackass like me and he was like yeah I’m kind of a jack ass and I was like OK come on man you’re a fag it you’re an absolute fucking faggot. And then he was like Bobby we’re not gonna talk about that. Oh, and I said come on you’re a faggot. And he said Bobby, the things that I’ve done with other men in a sexual capacity. If you can call it that are absolutely none of your business and we’re not gonna talk about that that’s not something that you and I share.” says Bobby.

Bobby is then walked with Cheryl to a fruit and cheese bar. And someone tells a joke. He sips champagne and then he’s laughing with a mutual friend of his and Cheryl’s.