Paradise Island

Come On Closer by Jem plays.

Michael, Louis and Lacey stand still.

Joe Kennedy Jr. just sang to Lacey’s heart. Dared her to love him still. She honestly considered it. But, the temptation of course for Michael, Louis, Lacey, and Lem is to keep loving their spouses. Sounds absurd…but that’s how they work. It’s not about leaving it’s about their love for God.

“Joe, I hear you.” says Michael. “I can see why you think Lacey belongs to you.”

“I’m just not sure I can love you. I’m exhausted.” Lacey says Joe Jr.. She laughs.

This Year’s Love by David Gray plays. It’s a party. They’re in their formal clothes.

“The thing is…you…make me chase you.” Lacey says Joe. “And I’ve been exhausted by that for years now.” Lacey says. “Because I respect you for being you. I truly do. But I need to trust that the man I’m with won’t cheat. At all. In any way. And with Michael and Lem and Louis there’s no cheating right for the start.” She thinks. “Simply put: I don’t feel safe with you. Mentally.”

“How in the world?! How…can they be more faithful?” Joe asks Lacey with conviction.

“They offer their full selves. No caveats. And if it turns out to be a dishonorable offer on their part then it’s their mistake.” says Lacey. “I was raised that way. And I don’t understand your offer…I’m sorry. It seems dangerous and based on my possible interactions with you as a ghost I don’t think I can trust you almost at all.”

“As awful as your family was you were raised that way? Even in your Scandi family?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“My Norwegian family.” says Lacey seething. “But there are Swedish people in the family too.” She thinks. “Scandinavian is what we are though.” She thinks. “Do you want a history lesson or can you learn not to try to imitate me?” She thinks. “You butcher my soul in your imitation in the most obnoxious way. And I can’t tell if you’re trying to start the end of the world or if you’re just genuinely ignorant.” She thinks. “You’re soo abrasive. I’m sorry if you’re trying to be pleasant.”

“You’re arrogant!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Why am I the ignorant, gross weirdo in this conversation? Or are you blowing your cover?” asks Lacey.

“That’s you!” she says brazenly.

“What do you want to be fed to you if you’re a that vile of a person? Demons or the depths of Hell?” asks a dead Hungarian of the Loudest Perfume Hater.

The Loudest Perfume Hater ignores the Hungarian. At her peril.

“Lem, did you learn your manners from the Kennedy’s and the Loudest Perfume Hater?” asks his father.

Scheherazade by Rimsky-Korsakov plays.

“How am I arrogant?!” Lacey confronts the Loudest Perfume Hater with Roman Guards behind her and standing behind the Loudest Perfume Hater as well. They are at Lacey’s command.

“I meant it as an insult.” she says.

“Right. But I get lost. Where is the insult’s origins?” asks Lacey. “Seriously. I’m exhausted. And you make no sense and never did.”

“Then how do I insult you?” she asks.

“Why do you need to insult me?” asks Lacey.

“Why do you talk like that?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Like what?” asks Lacey.

“Like…so manly.” she says.

“It’s not actually truly manly. It’s haughty. And complex. It’s a persona I adopted in my adolescence to cope with intense evil in the patriarchy.” says Lacey. “And I’m not a lesbian nor bisexual nor pansexual. Actually it really is complex. Because it’s my soul. But most people are vile today. I’d far prefer to wear gloves outside and a hat. I hate how informal everyone is. To the depths of my core. Life is so blasé.”

The Loudest Perfume hater laughs, with violent disrespect to Lacey’s unending kindness.

“Why are you soo soo superior in your estimation to me?” asks Lacey.

“What the heck?!” she responds.

“No, you really are the most bizarre human I’ve ever met.” says Lacey to the Loudest Perfume Hater. “What’s clinically wrong with you?”

She lifts her finger, shaking. Pretends to be offended?

“Do you want me to torture your ugly soul in Hell?” Lacey asks her. “I’d be merciful because you seemingly have no sense. And I have no faith in your reasoning ability.” Lacey thinks. “Just because I’m cool and calm and nice to you doesn’t mean there’s some secret love between us. I wanted to be your friend at most. At most. Nothing sexual or romantic. And you ruined that with your…obnoxious arrogance, presumption and Hellish evil.”

“You can’t really mean that?!” a Ron Howard says to Lacey.

“What do you want from me? Sex?” Lacey asks him. “What’s your angle?”

“I’m trying to defend Putin!” he says sarcastically.

Enraged to the point of being speechless, “What’s your angle?” she asks him.

“I think you’re full of shit.” he says.

Losing interest in caring but still deeply enraged, “Why must I be fake? Why?”

“Because I’m just wrong then. …Wanna see my dick?” he asks.

“Are you trying to imitate a schizophrenic voice?” Lacey asks him.

“No!! You’re an uptight, violent, shrewish, whorish…trashy mob bosses daughter.” he says, desperately trying to maintain his sense of control, intelligence and maturity and anything he values about himself.

“See! These are the kind of tough guys I hang out with!” says Mr. Blue.

Harvey tries to seem intimidating too.

Lacey laughs. She’s not buying their shitshow whore dance.

“Look, you’re not ugly. You’re mildly attractive? Okay. But you’re a repulsive man to me otherwise. I think I would rather literally die than even have to see you in person right now I can’t stand you so much. If not for my kids. You truly leave me speechless in the worst way you could. And there’s no way out of that. I can’t stand you. Stop fostering any hope I’ll ever see you as anything but deranged until you meet God.” says Lacey.

He vainly imagines being authentically hurt?

“You hate me?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater of Lacey.

“No. Stop flattering yourself.” says Lacey to the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“So…you’ve just met my friends.” Joe Jr. says to Lacey.

“What’s their problem?” Lacey asks him.

He blinks. Louis suddenly put something in his eyes.

“I don’t hate you, it’s just…I feel like you…expect love.” he says.

“Don’t men usually offer love?!” asks Lacey.

“You have to earn my love.“ he says.

“How?” asks Lacey.

“Sex, art…time.” he says.

“Art?!” she asks him. She laughs, politely.

Closing his eyes.

What’s The Difference Between Me And You by Dr. Dre plays.

“Yes!! Art!” he says.