Madoff

So turns out it was Bernie Madoff’s wife who suggested to Mrs. Blue that when Lacey vaguely considered having a real romantic relationship with Mr. Blue in 2015 that she be throttled into literal Hell? Using the Illuminati.

“They owe me a favor. Take her out like your husband wants.” said Ruth to Mrs. Blue.

Or is that a lie? A lie cleverly constructed lie to confirm all you darkest suspicions about Lacey being the true source of evil in our story.

“It’s just…I was married to Mr. Blue not you!” she says to Lacey in tears.

Flustered by the massive bullshit, Lacey calms herself and considers what to do.

“You’re making Jews and the Irish look like kikes and zombies.” says a dead Irish singer who feels repulsed.

Mr. Blue, feeling soo sexy looks into his wife’s eyes. His wife falls for it all.

Linger by the Cranberries plays.

Mr. and Mrs. Blue look into each other’s eyes. They seem lost to each other.

Lacey is repulsed.

“You’re not his wife!!” yells Mrs. Blue at Lacey snugly, triumphantly.

“I highly suspect I fell in love with the Mr. Blue persona you use to lie to people who don’t know about the Illuminati.” says Lacey.

“Lies!” yells a menacing, psychologically violent Boomer at Lacey. He then tries to rape her twice. She resists twice.

The Loudest Perfume Hater cracks-up laughing. A lot of people were fooled into thinking Lacey was in love with them in 2014 through 2015 either through their own narcissism or through a horrendous spiritual attack on Lacey.

“Who were you in love with from 2014 to 2015?” asks Georgiania of Lacey.

“Is Lacey being indicted?” the CIA asks Georgiania.

“They killed her instead of me. Yesterday Lacey told me to go die and so I shook my ass like a champion and they killed her instead.” says Erin.

Broken by Lund.

“I’m so broken! It’s hard for people who don’t understand what they do to me to understand.” says Erin. “I’m your victim!”

Wobbly grins. Licks his lips.

“Yummy!” Wobbly says, trying to sound menacing.

Lacey is losing interest.

The demons of perversity keeping the evil all alive while others suffer will surely torture them in Hell for eternity. If they don’t repent.

“I don’t understand. Was she expected to be be a mind reader or were you expecting her to feel too socio-economically inferior to notice him at all? Or what?” asks Rocky of Mrs. Blue.

Silence.

“Why don’t you get it? She’s not like you!” says Michael to Mr. & Mrs. Blue who sadistically attack Lacey with attempted molestation of her and other vile bullshit for years.

“I can’t empathize with her! She took my life and my family and boiled frogs in my kitchen. I have the videotape!!” says Mrs. Blue. Or is it Mrs. Boys? The Illuminati sex ring run by her friends uses Mrs. Blue to spiritually molest boys? Except why? Why would that evil cause Mrs. Blue to trip and attack Lacey.

Well…regardless…she’s obsessed…obsessed with thinking Lacey is in love with her husband. She attacks Lacey endlessly. It’s bizarre.

Lacey has reiterated probably a dozen times that she’s never been in love with Mr. Blue as his real self. Lacey’s reiterated an apology at least four or five or over a dozen times over the years for crushing on her husband (and falling in love with his persona) for a year or two while Mr. & Mrs. Blue had a seemingly open marriage. They’ve never apologized for anything. …ANYTHING. …The Illuminati has apologized but not Mr. & Mrs. Blue.

“I was in love for real with a possible ghost.” says Lacey.

“See! That’s what happens when you fall in love a demon!! There are no ghosts!! You Wiccan evil one!!!” screams the Protestant Charismatics at Lacey. “You’re possessed!!”

“So this is all my fault?! Because I…I…fell in love…possibly…with a ghost?!?! And I desperately tried to bring it before God the whole time. I did. Fervently! That’s insane!!!” says Lacey.

“I know you loved him!” Wobbly and Mrs. Blue say to Lacey with conviction and confidence about Mr. Blue.

Lacey laughs. She wonders if Wobbly is making a joke. She sincerely wonders.

“The thing is, sure it was Mr. Blue I interacted with but I didn’t…know him. I didn’t. He’s not who I thought he was.” says Lacey.

“When did you fall in love with me? Tell me more about how handsome I am.” Mr. Blue says?

“I never really loved you.” says Lacey apologetically. “Sorry!” She’s being sincere, sweet, and genuinely apologetic.

“We don’t fall in love that way!” says Mrs. Blue proudly?

“Yes, I hear you. But…I was horribly wrong about what kind of people you both were. Trusting my gut isn’t always safe in situations like this. Is it? I trusted you two to not be heinous criminals.“ Lacey thinks. “Is any part of your psychology normal?” She thinks. “Ironically enough I’d never have fallen for Bernie Madoff’s financial lies but I believed that your handlers wouldn’t ruin your persona so much. You’re obscenely different than your personas.” says Lacey.

“Go to Hell!!!” Liberals yell at Lacey.

“That’s a stupid insult.” says Rocky go them.

“So you really think I’m that dramatically different from my persona?” Mr. Blue asks.

“Yes. You are.” says Lacey.

“If both parties are selling children then this God damned country needs to end.” says Mark Nesheim.

“Possibly the whole world. No excuses. Go shoot yourselves in the face…if necessary…” says Lacey. “Pray to God to forgive you for your sins first!”

“You think I should go shoot my kids and myself and my husband?” asks Mrs. Blue.

“Yea.” says Vinny. “And right quick, bitch.”

“Maybe.” says Lacey. “Actually, you should take your party and inject the needle into your skull and bones. Tonight? Shoot Vinny and the kids first?” suggests Lacey.

“What about Wobbly?” asks the-CIA of Lacey.

“I can’t figure him out in a way. Is he pure evil or an idiot or losing his mind?” asks Lacey. “Right?”

“He could be a psychopath?” suggests the Bishy.

“True.” says Lacey, seriously.

“She fell in love with your persona.” says a rapper to Mr. Blue.

“I’m losing patience!” yells Michael Rockefeller.

Erin dances in a wind machine thinking she cute. Westside Story by The Game plays. Then U Not Like Me by 50 plays and Erin decides it’s about her. She dances like the Illuminati loves her. She dances like everyone loves her and not Lacey. She dances like God would let her get away with anything because…she’s…got s hideous big tooth smile and her hair is stringy and she’s not curvy and her nose is awkward. She’s been blown-up on television and in the movies though.

“Your attacks on her don’t work.” says a dead English Boomer to Erin. He feels the need to clarify. “You’re not getting it.”

Whatever You Like is sang by Lisa as Erin dances in a wind machine without irony in Marilyn Monroe’s white dress from “The Seven Year Itch.” Erin is singing to Mr. Blue. Mr. Blue is grinning, dancing, loyally cheering her on.

Hypnotize by Biggie karaoke-sang by Mr. Blue in response to Erin. He leaves the audience laughing silently and dancing to cheer him on, expect for Lacey and her crowd.

At the end Lacey can’t restrain her giggles.

Cooped Up/Return of the Mack by Post Malone, Mark Morrison & Sickick plays. It’s a horrible segue. Lacey laughs.

Mr. Blue hears her laughs and looses it and tries to kill her. He pulls out a semi-automatic rifle and starts shooting her. Just her. He uses rounds of ammunition. Get Into It is played without irony by his cool-kid crew to cheer him on.

She lays dead on the floor and still he keeps shooting. Her ghost emerges and with help from the British she slices pieces of her body off to let them reattach the pieces as gracefully and tastefully as possible. He doesn’t notice.

When Mr. Blue finds out he decides to kill the Royals, the CIA and his wife? Or no? Just Lisa?

“I can’t believe they’re doing this to me!!!” he says trying to sound sexy and yet like a victim of classic literature’s favorite evil: The rich.

Erin looks sad.

Erin cries.

Erin looks sad.

“It’s so mean!” Erin says about Michael Rockefeller’s ghost. “How did you know I watched you on Tik Tok and fell in love with you?”

Putin requests Cover Bombs by Nomadic Firs be played.

“Are you a school shooter?” a hilariously misguided Liberal asks Lacey without humor or irony.

“No.” she says.

“We’re glorious and she’s just jealously obsessed with us?! Take my photo! Aren’t I cute!” Erin says using child sex slaves to try to commit Lem. “I can make you love me! If Lacey can do it so can I!! I’ll show her ugly ass!” she says to Lem to sound sexy.

She conjures up an entirely different man who just vaguely looks like Lem. She believes it means something special about her when they get married right then and there.

“Are you the one running things?” he asks her.

She imitates Lacey’s actual psychological profile she represses herself from acknowledging consciously except to use as a weapon or a tool.

“Yeah. Isn’t it sad!?” Erin says meekly.

“Wow! Are you rich?” he asks.

She shrugs. She looks demure.

“He looks like Lem.” says Lacey to the British.

“He does a little.” says Louis.

“That’s sick.” says Lacey.

—-

And back at the Gaelic cave we find out that Lacey was kidnapped either by the British or the CIA or possibly just the Democrats…or…possibly just Mr. Blue. With the help of his friends and so-called hotshot family he chained up her ghost supernaturally and drug her body to the cave tied up to the back of his truck. The chains almost fell off considering she’s a partially a ghost. But the tiny bit of her left was dragged.

“I’d shove you in a vat of oil but I can’t find one.” he says without irony. “Do you know what oil is?”

“Yes. Well they don’t have oil in Ireland and that’s where I spiritually brought you.” he says.

The ride behind the truck was so fun she only now realizes he’s still trying to kill her.

He shoves her ghost toward the cave.

“You’re still trying to kill me?!” she asks him shocked.

“You’re so alive!! You make me sick!” he says, practically spitting.,

“I’m probably partly dead, actually.” she says.

Come Around by M. I. A. plays from Heaven.

Michael emerges. “It’s slang not literal if you’re unaware and innocent of what people like you do with it.” he says. “Maybe I’d say baby girl to my wife if I was alive because I want her to be able to fall apart and cry.” He thinks. “See…the thing is…it’s not that I think she’s a baby or as a synonym a wimp for crying. It’s just that..she needs to be cajoled into crying. And I thought baby girl as a slang term might be the correct usage for that emotional allowance of vulnerability on her part towards me.” He sighs. “Or maybe I want to be able to say it and I’m not that unaware. It’s cool slang. But given the implications it’s offensive.”

The song continues.

“See the thing is…this song can be taken as an assault on evil.” says Michael.

But that’s when Michael realizes that Mr. Blue can’t hear him. At all.

“Why is he attacking her?!” Michael asks Louis, in a rage.

And that’s when Lem awakes from his sleep to Anything Goes by Cole Porter. He’s horrified when he hears the lyrics sang.

And that’s when Michael Rockefeller raced forward into the Irish darkness holding a knife, jabbing it into Mr. Blue’s neck.

“It’s like The Shining!” says Stanley Kubrick weeping to Lacey.

…

And now, later, they all stand outside watching Putin bomb the caves. Is it now or later? What’s his eternity? Is he a real or a fake? What’s best?

“So…he’s a ghost or a demon?” asks Mrs. Blue. Hasn’t Michael disappeared? Hasn’t she found a way to uncover him. He almost manifests after Lacey prays.

Lem gets into a plane. He flies it. He drops bombs. If the Nazis are the elite he’s going to kill them slowly or quickly.

“You want to dismantle my blog?” asks Lacey.

“Anything that goes down to that end is purely to vindicate the self-perceived sexual potency, self-perceived elite social-economic status, and objective good-looks of Erin, Mr. Blue and his-wife. It’s all about worshiping their ego. The Clinton’s don’t matter to you guys. 9/11 doesn’t matter to guys. Nothing. Nothing else matters to you all but proving their superficial superiority. It’s all about their hair, teeth, eyes, so-called sex sounds and shit like that. Nothing Godly, normal or healthy. Just them. That’s it. …So if you want to ruin the world, literally blow it up to fight us…that’s what you’re fighting for. Keep that in mind.” says Lem.

Fishin’ by Takenobu plays.

“So Balenciaga? Biden? All that?” asks a Liberal.

“That was all fur them.” says Lacey.

“What happens when we die?” asks Lacey.

TREE by Ólafur Arnalds plsys

“What happens when we die?” asks a Blue Origin Consultant from Troubleshooter No. 4.

“It’s a dark place. Where you close your eyes and feel nothing. It’s like…sleeping and I love it. I love taking warm, happy naps!” says Erin.

“Gee, let’s talk about mayonnaise and sexualize all the condiments and all the food groups and all the people and all the everything but not in the way God intended. In a way that makes it Hellish and torture.” says Mr. Blue.

“I think pepper should be code for black people’s farts.” she giggles.

“I think tomatoes should be code for killing aliens on Mars.” he says seriously.

“I think fruit juices should be code for murdering innocent people.” he says.

“I think Putin is a nice man. Like your friendly neighbor who brings bad meat to the barbecue.” she says, giggling.

“I love you!” he says to her.

“We should get married.” he says to her.

“Yeah!” she says nodding sadly.

“My wife is gone this weekend.” he says.

“I’m running a marathon.“ she says.

“Yeah, well, that’s why I need buy that new gaming chair.” he says.

She looks at him like he’s crazy.

“I’m going to watch you.” he says.

She kicks him playfully like he’s crazy.

He smiles. Looks serious.

“Why are you always so sad after we have sex?” she asks him.

“I don’t know…it’s just…I feel like you take it the wrong way sometimes. Like, my wife is still so unhappy about it all. And she’s unhappy with me too. But I need her to be less anxious and just enjoy the life we’ve created.” he says.

“Why don’t we get married?” she asks him.

“I kinda want to now.” he says.

“I want to be a lesbian circus clown.” she says.

He laughs.

“We should get married.” he says.

“I might just take you up on that offer.” she says coyly.

He laughs…

She looks tentative.

Symphony No. 9 by Dvorák plays.

“I’m going tanning today and then snorting cocaine.” he says.

“I shot up lots of heroin last night.” she says.

“Are you sure you love me?” he asks.

She laughs. She looks askance.

He looks downtrodden.

“We should run off today and get married.” she says.

“Okay. When?” he asks.

“I dunno.” she says.

“Yeah, it’s not that easy.” he says.

“Why don’t you ever marry me?” she says rocking in her seat in agitation as she grimmaces, showing her teeth.

“It’s the money.” he says.

She looks sad. Then she suddenly laughs. “I could rob a bank.” She sounds serious.

He thinks. “I can’t see you robbing a bank.” He sighs romantically.

“I would for you!” she says with a wink, trying not to sound corny.

“We should just turn my wife into a robot and use her to make money.” he says, sounding serious.

She looks repulsed. “That’s so mean. I don’t think she should have to be a robot. We should make Lacey our robot.”

He rolls his eyes. “Why do we need care about my wife? Let’s just use my car and take all the money out of the bank and run off?”

She looks uncomfortable. “I don’t want to marry you.”

“Yeah! I love my wife.” he says happily.

She cries.

He looks sad.

They stare at each other.

They stare at each other.

They stare at each other.

They just keep staring at each other.

“I like steak!” he yells, fighting.

She rolls her eyes. Glares at him.

He tries to laugh.

They both swallow their spit in a chill manner.

“We should get…together and get married.” he says.

“Yeah.” she says, with affected mystery.

He looks like his head is about to literally explode.

She stares at him with a cool, thoughtful, detached air.

Dark Red by Steve Lacy starts.

And then he sneezes.

She tries to bob her head to the music.

They stare at each other.

He bobs his head to the music.

“I’m going to put you in a Chinese prison camp!” says a U.S. President taking aim at Lacey on behalf of Mr. Blue’s wife.

Mr. Blue farts. Erin looks embarrassed.

“The CIA has me covered to kill her. It’s Illuminati go time!” says the US President.

“You people are the best!” Erin says.

“Let’s go snorkeling. Code!” yells Mr. Blue.

“Mm. You’re a god.” she says.

“You guys, you’re so cool.“ says a U.S. President.

“I don’t have a lot of coke left today.” he says.

“You’re so close to being the first one to truly love me.” she says.

“Because I don’t let you use coke?” he asks.

“You just can’t be a bad guy.” she says. “You always work it out for everyone’s benefit. You could be Hitler as you’d be the best person to ever live.”