Bill Takes On Tunis

As a Bill Clinton and Wobbly attempt to seriously claim that Tunis Hood and the Seays loss of wealth in the Civil War makes them dirt poor Irish…we have a reality check. Was Elvis a dirt poor kid from an Irish family or a family of evil adult prostitutes as is said of former President Bill Clinton? Or…was he related to US Presidents and Old Money? Did his genius only look attainable to the common white person as a rouse? His “dirt poor” persona ran deep and was his reality in a sense…but…his genetic history is far from dirt poor.

“Does that matter?” the British ask Lacey.

“In this case…I vote yes.” says Lacey. “As much as Wobbly wants to think his shot-up family reached the lasting and sincere heights of cultural glory as Elvis they did not. And the enormous loss of wealth in the American South is historical fact.” says Lacey.


“I don’t know how much wealth the Tunis Hood family lost in the Civil War but the Seays lost a lot.” says Lacey.

Elvis thinks.

“You’re funny!” says that Christian Charismatic.

“Why? How is that funny?” asks Joe.

“I’m wealthy!!” the Charismatic says, bizarrely.

“You barely eat.” says Joe to the Charismatic.

“Yeah! I doubt I have any aristocracy in my blood.” he admits.

“Well what are you going to do then?!” asks a Christian of the Charismatic.

“I’m an elite aristocrat!” the Charismatic’s brain makes him think possibly against his will.

“See…if you two aren’t related to The Harrison family in a real way like Elvis…or the Seays…or the Billings…or etc….then…you aren’t one of us.” says Lacey. “And unless you manage to be Bill Gates or a non deranged Kennedy or…a non deranged Jenner or Kardashian…or…Rockefeller…you’ll never join the club at all.” says Lacey. “Or a Zuckerberg. Etc..”

The Loudest Perfume Hater thinks.

“And so then what…if you don’t have a knighted Great Granduncle or you’re not knighted for your novels yourself and a renowned editor-in-chief in the early 20th Century…and a 20th Century social activist…then what? You’ll inherit billions in oil? Or coal? Or lumber? Or what? Millions in land?” asks Lacey. “What do you have that’s like that? Or what did your parents do to get truly rich? Which prep schools did you go to? How did you respond? Who was there? Do you have genuine white trash in your blood? How do you respond to that?” She thinks. “Elvis wasn’t necessarily genuine white trash.” She thinks. “And isn’t it weird that I’m supposedly related to Billy Graham too?” She thinks. “Dear impoverished, humble Billy Graham was married to a Bell. My great great grandmother was a Bell.” says Lacey. “Isn’t that kind of strange if we’re living in such a truly meritocratic country?”

“And there’s different levels of security in the inner circles and circle.” explains Elvis. “There are those like my family who were distanced. Similarly in a way to the Seays. But…not every poor Southerner is a Seay or a clear descendant of Tunis Hood.”

“My mother is a Seay. I have first-cousins with that surname.” says Lacey.


“But that’s the thing…they aren’t a low-level Zuckerberg living in Orange County in 1998 either.” says Lacey. “Their mother doesn’t run the show, so to speak.” She thinks. “Their mother didn’t buy them Dior as a special treat from Rodeo Drive for their high school prom.”


“It’s an ecosystem.” says Lacey. “Quit trying to destroy nature, Mr. Blue and Erin.”

The possibility of Purgatory in the Irish Hell Caves laughs at Chris and Batgirl III.

“What’s the joke?” Lacey asks him. She isn’t that Irish.


“It is a beautiful country though.” Lacey says about Ireland. “I do prefer England. But Dublin is amazing.”


“My people are spoiled and yet destitute and George Washington or John Quincy Adams or possibly Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Jefferson lied to everyone.” says Casi.