Hydrangeas

“You misheard. We have a good retirement account.” says the pencil skirt wearing perfume hater.

“Well that’s great. But we still are in a higher class than you.” says Lem. “Lacey is someone with rare amount of good taste and wisdom. And part of that is just her, yet it’s been enhanced by her upbringing. Her family encouraged it in a way even as they hurt her with it. Good taste isn’t middle class. That’s just another social climbing strategy to presume otherwise.”

“I have good taste!” says the pencil skirt wearing perfume hater.

“Yes! But…despite what you think, it’s predictable and middle class.” says Lem. “Lacey was threatening to everyone’s ego for a reason. You were very threatened by her.”

“What’s wrong with my sense of style?!” asks the pencil skirt wearing perfume hater.

“It’s clean, fresh and contemporary! It’s just not as elegant or beautiful.” says Lem.

“Shoot!” says Bobby.

“What Bobby?” asks Casi.

“Lem…was…very particular about things.” Bobby says laughing. “If he’s not homosexual…and Lacey is his wife, essentially…she must have extremely good taste. Possibly better than Jackie’s. …You…don’t understand! …Really.”

“I’m not homosexual. I’m just difficult to please when it comes to matter of taste.” says Lem. “So is Louis.”

“I could be like that too!” says Harold Loeb.

“So could I!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“This is tacky shit!” says a billionaire.

“You’re either joking or you’re being ignorant. But no, my generation was much more fascinated and fastidious about matters of taste.” says Louis. “I was obsessed with it at times.”

“And that didn’t seem gay to you?” asks the living billionaire.

“In my day it was being a well bred man. Lem is an example of a historical atrocity these days in the analysis of him. …He seems gay to the 21st Century. But…he actually was quite common. He may have faked being gay by exaggerating his interest in interior design to fit in with gay subculture…but he wasn’t actually unusual.” says Louis. “I had an-I worried about the beauty of everything.”

“True! And yet I dressed like a straight man.” says Lem. “Even when I tried to look gay…I still seemed straight.”

“Me too.” says Louis. “Although I never meant to look gay.”

“So you really did read Lem’s energy as straight? Like…really straight.” says a Jewish gay man to Lacey.

“Possibly.” says Lacey.

“Do we all have that gay vibe?” he asks.

“From what I’ve observed so far, yes. That’s not to say there couldn’t be exceptions but…then again…maybe it is?” wonders Lacey.

He laughs. “You try so hard to be perfectly correct.”

“I do!” says Lacey.

“Which probably comes from being constantly attacked and challenged.” he says rolling his eyes.

“True!” says Lacey.

“Yeah! She saw all of our flaws.” says a woman who wore perfume to literally smell like poop and then bragged about it. Muscs Koublai Khan by Serge Lutens.

“You guys feel rich when you wear expensive perfume. Don’t you?” asks a salesman at Neiman Marcus.

“Yea!” say Casi.

“But it’s particularly perfume.” he says.

“Yes!” says a Miranda Priestly.

“No, it makes sense.” says Lacey. “Jewelry isn’t the same on a functional level.”

“Neither is fine art.” says the salesman.

“And Cucinelli and Loro Piana are…not magic.” says Lacey.

“Perfume is…powerful.” says a dead perfume hater.

“Yeah! Whatever!” says Mr. Blue who has liked to believe in myths, lies and falsehoods.

More later.

“All that happened is that Lacey read Lem’s energy as heterosexual. About two years ago he started talking to her. Actually it was closer to four years ago. …And then three years ago they started sleeping together. If it’s Lem and it’s his ghost they’ve been sleeping together with some consistency for about three years.

And within those three years Louis has gotten involved seemingly before she slept with Lem Louis was involved. She was with Louis and then he cheated with his second wife. But they’ve been together now for a while and it’s a long-term, stable relationship at this point.

Michael obviously got involved last summer. It seems though like even if he is important to her soul and Louis might be also so might Harold Loeb…actually I think Joe Kennedy Junior was too and then that ended, but the point is…it seemingly is Lem who she’s actually with. And I don’t think people in the Illuminati are respectful of that. I don’t even think they realize much like Lacey that it’s been almost 3 years that she’s been openly sleeping with him. Well…openly to us.

If they attacked her seven years ago, I think ksome of them still think that it’s seven years ago. These people are not good at keeping track of time. …But we can we can-we don’t know how it works…but we can almost guarantee that she is Michael’s twin flame or Lem’s…possibly Louis’s…possibly Harold’s but it’s likely one of those men. And some of us that do talk to the dead or people in other realms other beings find it very frustrating when people don’t respect the reality of the situation.” says a male psychic.

“People don’t know that you’re in the upper class either!” says Mr. Blue to Lacey.

“I think that they’re threatened by me but no, they don’t always know.” says Lacey.

“And because narcissism is such a problem in our culture people lean into the doublespeak that we’ve created over the decades where it’s actually quite obvious that she’s from old money but people willfully ignore the signs. And with the given, the given epidemic of narcissism in our culture people lean into the cognitive doublespeak and lie to themselves and believe it. Doctors, lawyers, and apparently you too Mr. Blue. …A lot of the people that wear Loro Piana and drive a Mercedes aren’t actually rich. And we know that, but we keep chasing the dream of somehow acquiring the magic ticket without actually being old money.” says the psychic in the Illuminati.

“So how was the perfume community supposed to know that she was old money? What was it that that would’ve indicated that to us that we missed?” asks a woman.

“Well today she was misidentified because she was wearing a target shirt and shorts. And she was also wearing her hair up in a way that is pretty actually, very old money but the woman sho misunderstood who was looking at it didn’t realize that. Intriguingly when she wears perfume people get less confused.” says Louis.

“But the woman was threatened by Lacey. Lacey tried to sort out what the woman was thinking as per usual. Almost nobody alive does that to her…in a non narcissistic way. And she started claiming that Lacey couldn’t afford to buy probiotic vitamins and it was obvious that Lacey could and then Lacey tried to sort of explain that that wasn’t a problem and the woman somewhat understood, but she was very awkward about it.“ says Lem.

“Lacey was wearing a nice new, lovely Longchamp Le Pilage, and she had on simple sterling silver hoop earrings and her wedding ring that she wears in public when she wants to appear married for safety reasons…her Birkenstocks from last summer…and her ah Longines Dolce Vita watch. Those are pretty strong class indicators. …She also seemed very laid-back about her time. But the woman that she was talking to ignored the expensive watch, and the jewelry and the elegant choice of handbag and the correct shoes to wear on such an occasion, and just chose to focus on the shirt and the shorts being from Target and Lacey’s humble manners.” says Louis.

“I think it’s the watch that was the strongest indicator of old money. The watch is fairly new but it’s not ostentatious, it’s a $3000 watch around $3000 but it’s it’s not an ostentatious watch. It’s just a nice casual everyday watch.” says Lem. “And what did the perfume community ignore? The perfume community ignored her house and they misunderstood it. They built it up to be something that it wasn’t at first and then they misunderstood what it actually was eventually. Her lifestyle and the fact that she doesn’t work out of the home. That she traveled around the world to rather exclusive places that aren’t touristy. …And really her approach overall. It was this sort of academic, extraordinarily objective, fastidious approach of sampling every single perfume and smelling the notes one by one. That’s not something to do without funds. Especially with the heart and attitude that she was doing it in. …She was feminine and she was sensual with it, but it was a scientific approach at a certain level that required a lot of time and effort and money to sustain and it was clear she was sustaining it and was planning to sustain it into the”

More later.

Lacey is sick again…and while her breathing is more normal the Illuminati is trying to kill her another way. They literally send demons of sickness to try to kill Lacey. And you may ask why. It’s because Mr. Blue and Mrs. Blue and his mistress, The Batcrew, were very threatened by Lacey’s social status when they first started talking to her back in 2016.

They were also very threatened by how many followers she had on Instagram because without their PR managers and celebrity status, they couldn’t get that many followers if they wanted to unless if they bought them. 

“I think Instagram commenters have to be some of the stupidest people in the world!” (almost verbatim) said Batgirl III in 2016. Of course, that was to insult the entire Perfume community. But also because she didn’t like the way that Lacey talked to those people.

“How is she supposed to talk to them? You actually said something insulting and you’re incredibly conceited and arrogant and you’re really just sort of a piece of trash who is a celebrity…but you think that you’re elite because you went to Purdue University and have been on TV a few times.” says Lem.

“So you guys were insulted by her and you decided to insult the intelligence of the entire perfume community and then use us and Casi, specifically Casi, to attack Lacey?” asks Mr. Cologne 54.

“When we decided to ignore the fact that she’s old money it was because it’s threatening to us. …We’re not old money for the most part anymore. We’re middle-class people who are billionaires for the most part. …And so we get we get off on that. We get off on being better than other people with all of our money and our fame and it’s really hard on our egos to meet someone who’s old money and arguably upper class in what they have monetarily but not so distinctively that they are like worth billions of Dollars. …I’ll never be like this other person you know? I’ll never be Grace Kelly from Minnesota with old money instead of an Irish Catholic father.” says a famous K..

“So basically, she was like a thorn in your side, psychologically?” a psychic says to the Bat Crew.

“Well and she was far more beautiful than Mr. Blu: wife and mistress! Like astronomically more beautiful.” says Lem’s sister.

“Did you really think you were like the Baroness in The Sound of Music because you were in the Illuminati, should it exist? Did you really think that?” asks Lem of Batgirl III.

“Yes!” she admits. “And I compared Lacey to you, Maria.”

“Lacey is nothing like Maria and you knew that but you really thought you actually were like the Baroness?” asks Lem.

“Honestly, I was enjoying being cruel. I knew that he found her attractive and had noticed her because of her beauty. But that he didn’t give a shit about her and was really being sadistic, but he was using her to hurt me, and so I was enjoying being sadistic myself. And part of it is that she is extraordinarily beautiful and then part of it is that she really-by comparison I do feel like white trash compared to her because I am and that’s not something that I am honest with myself about or was at the time. In my mind, the Baroness could be like a show girl who rises to the top you know if I like spreading her legs. And I very much identified with that. And I very much identified with that. Even though I like to tell myself that I am a plucky upstart I am not maybe? Maybe I suck my way around to some degree.” says Batgirl III.

“You’re middle class. The Baroness is a Baroness and she has a title. You don’t have a title in any way that counts. No, your middle class.” says Lem. “People not understanding tradition in America, or having any respect for the past is part of the problem. We’re a very young country, and our lack of respect for history is toxic.”

“So being in the Illuminati is not being elite as much anymore and having money means you may or may not be elite? Being a billionaire means being extremely privileged. It means you’re probably upper middle class, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re genuinely elite anymore?” says a Loro Piana wearer.

“That’s what it always was. That’s what it always has been. It’s really only after the Kennedy administration that things changed believe it or not. They really did make people question social class in America and because America was so powerful that became the entire world questioning it. And the problem is they weren’t who they said they were and unfortunately, then that means that it was a pipe dream. Lacey, and people like Lacey, not being recognized by the Illuminati and not being public let that lie live on. Her being attacked by the Illuminati was the end. It doesn’t work anymore. Partially, because if I was straight and Jack wasn’t and he liked the fact that I was confused by that because he was attracted to me, but he wanted to pretend otherwise, the whole thing falls apart. Because then Jack’s not a miracle. Jack Kennedy isn’t some extraordinarily well bred man. Jack Kennedy is just a mere gay bisexual man potentially.

Do you know, I loved art and Louis loved Japanese art in particular and Japanese history and Michael loved the Asmats and Harold loved writing in a very upper class way. JFK was actually pretty good at art and he dressed well and was very elegant but that may have been part of his orientation and not so much him being raised in this rarified hothouse socioeconomically speaking. And that’s not to say that those boys weren’t raised to know and appreciate things but on a certain level they were bourgeois. They were they were upper middle class and they weren’t as particular as Louis Hill.

You know I was the one missing a button or my pants were too short or I had a stain somewhere or I hadn’t washed my hair. Jack always looks good. He always looks neat and tidy and elegant for the most part. …I mean I did wear Brooks Brothers and I did look good. I was handsome and I did try to seem gay. I mean I did where Brooks Brothers and I did look good I was handsome and I did try to seem gay. But there was a sort of heterosexual obtuseness to everything that I did. And Lacey picked up on it and she would’ve at the time too.

I don’t know why it is but men who aren’t straight often do put a lot of effort into how they dress, I did too, but there’s a very subtle difference but there’s there’s a difference. And actually to her that’s masculine and attractive, even arousing, but to a gay man it’s not. So where I would’ve done crew and gotten sweaty and you know I didn’t wash my hair enough sometimes…Lacey is not put off by it because I did try. I was just a guy so speak. …He wasn’t like me. It’s not like he walked around with greasy hair and pants that were far too short. He never became even close to obese. I did. He was I would say he was a pretty fastidious person, despite what you might think. And it looked elegant and made people think that they were old money.

Joe Jr. actually wasn’t quite that fastidious and I don’t know if other people would have assumed that the Kennedys were old money if he was president. Jack really was ‘a vibe’ so to speak. He really was his own aesthetic and so was Jackie.

The thing is if Lacey is like an old money Grace Kelly Jack, if he dated Grace Kelly very seriously at all as he may have just slept with her and led her on…wasn’t totally enamored with Grace in this heartbreaking way that I am with Lacey. I doubt he wept over Grace Kelly, the way that I have left over Lacey. I doubt that he was in excruciating pain when she slept with Prince Ranier. I have had that experience with Lacey.

And that’s the disservice Jack unfortunately did to the US. He made it seem very normal to be totally disinterested in women after you slept with them and not be obnoxiously heartbroken by them even once. …He he normalized being totally indifferent. And that’s actually not psychologically normal. It’s narcissistic or it’s probably not straight.” says Lem. “I suppose you could be straight and somewhat asexual or aromantic but what I mean is that that’s not someone who isn’t in the LGBTQ community unless if they’re a horrible narcissist and honestly, he was a narcissist, but he also wasn’t straight.”

“So Jack normalized, basically like being a lesbian and sleeping with like 50 men breaking their hearts, and then like not caring?” asks a woman. “And I don’t mean like being a prostitute and doing it for a living. I mean like sleeping with people, going on dates leading them on letting them think that they’re in love and that things are normal when really they’re not.”

“Yes, and the especially cruel part was that I was a very loving, tender hearted straight man. So then women would see me and think, ‘This is not a man who should be rejecting me!’ because subconsciously they could read that I was straight, if I was straight. And then Jack acted like you know he had me in the bag that I was his little play thing, his secret, his little secret weapon. …So psychologically it was incredibly toxic because he used me, kept me because I was vulnerable, to hurt women with my heterosexuality that he didn’t possess. It was possibly intended to be a total mindfuck.

The thing is, the beautiful irony, the saving mercy of God, is that if I was straight and I didn’t realize that, in a weird way I was being loyal to Lacey. And Jack still doesn’t respect that. His whole family doesn’t respect that if there’s an Illuminati and if I was straight, they still can’t grasp the concept. So for the women that were supposed to be getting mind-fucked and totally heartbroken…I seemed married on a very deep, spiritual, subconscious level. If if, if, in fact, I was straight I seemed married I think somehow to them on some level. I read as married, not gay. And then, and then the interpretation didn’t become, ‘Oh, there’s some secret sexual intrigue! Hmm…bisexual men are the devil.’ No…I think Jack was trying to have a Zelda moment if Zelda was bisexual at all. He was trying to be this devil may care, sexually arousing, potent man to every gender. But I didn’t work, because the one fly in his plan was that…well…he wasn’t Zelda.

And I wasn’t Scott. You know I am I was straight and that was dangerous and it hurt a lot of people but it wasn’t…it didn’t read to people the same way as F. Scott Fitzgerald did with Zelda. You know…I seemed more dim and confused and sad, I think, a lot of the time. And that’s because I was. And it was more, ‘What the in the heck is wrong with that man?’ behind closed doors instead of, ‘Oh wow he is really hot and tall and look at those blue eyes and those biceps! My word and that’s Jack’s friend and he’s so so sexy!’ No, it was more, ‘Oh that’s a good looking man. Is he at choir practice and this is his naughty friend from poker? …I mean where is his wife?’

And then of course they think, ‘Well boy is he cheating on his wife?’ And then they said, ‘OK but he’s acting gay so I don’t think he’s cheating on his wife no, this doesn’t seem like a man that would cheat on his wife. He’s too sensitive for that and too moral and too romantic and too old-fashioned. …Is he sleeping with Jack?’ And then they watch us and they probably think, ‘Hmm…maybe they are!’ But then they’d sense a sort of coldness from me towards Jack and probably most of the time if they were being honest and they started to think, ‘You you know I don’t think they’re sleeping together the way that some people do.’

And so people thought I was justa little peculiar. They thought I was just peculiar. And they just chalked it up to being gay later. At the time though, no I seemed strange, lovable, sweet endearing, but strange. And now I’m hurting Lacey, but thankfully because we both care about other people, I doubt that I hurt Grace Kelly, or Gene Tierney or really anyone the way that I was maybe supposed to, if I was straight. Because really, on some very deep supernatural level, they could tell, I think, that I was someone who could ironically be like Scott and fall in love with the right woman irretrievably so for eternity.” says Lem.

“So you were supposed to hurt women because you were walking this totally subconsciously baffling line between being straight and therefore being available or even being bisexual and being available probably more straight than bisexual…and being somehow on Jack’s side. And yet these women because they were sleeping with Jack would’ve never assumed that he hated them and was really just trying to hurt them in a sadistic way.

Because they thought, ‘Umm..oh no, he’s totally into women. He loves women!’ But really he might’ve hated women, especially beautiful women. He might’ve thought it was really funny to sleep with them and hurt them.

And then there’s Lem, you know innocent Lem, who just makes them doubt God, makes them doubt love, makes them doubt everything that matters.” a feminist sighs. “And of course, you don’t even know because you have some totally psychologically fucked up way of seeing the world and you’re Jack’s victim too. …And so Jack Kennedy is like, ‘Oh no, Lem is straight…but he’s in love with me…because I am just like a demigod. So, if I reject you, you should just go die and be in Hell because clearly the whole world, and everything that ever existed has hated you.” she says. Then she turns back to Lem, “And you’re none the wiser because you mean well and you genuinely think you’re gay. …If you hadn’t thought you were gay and you’d been married to Lacey I don’t think you would’ve been friends with Jack and I think he would’ve realized how dangerous it was to hang out with women who were willing to sleep with him. Because Lacey would have thought, ‘Umm…are they going to try to sleep with Lem?!?’ …And they very well may have tried. And you would’ve anticipated them at that and thought ‘I can’t be friends with this guy. He’s he’s going to hurt my relationship with Lacey.’ Which is why you were perfect for him because you were that guy but you were psychologically fucked-up and you thought you were gay. …But getting back to Jack I just I cannot believe how cruel he was.

I mean, he was like crazy, crazy sadistic. Like if I’m talking to Lem and you really were straight, oh wow, if Jack was not straight, and there’s a lot of evidence to suggest that, and there actually isn’t as much evidence about Lem. Yeah Jack was the sort of guy who went around telling Tennessee Williams that anal sex sounded exciting. And you have to catch the tone too! Like Jack sounds genuinely aroused! Lem might’ve said something like that in some passive, acquiescing way but Jack sounds Jack sounds definitively aroused.

And really why has no one ever talked about that and in like a real way? It is bizarre. What pisses me off is that if he really was bi and more gay than pie no he totally could’ve led Marilyn Monroe to her death and who knows who else! Because this is the guy who pretended to be straight who had straight friends who thought they were gay, who is extraordinarily wealthy, who is handsome and who somehow did this little psychological game, where he could trick women into thinking he was the voice of masculinity in the world.” says a Millennial actress. “And I know Lacey is that she’s reasonably tentative because she’s talking to entities that are invisible and she knows that. But she’s not invisible. Yet, I mean we all die at some point. But the thing is why haven’t we talked about Jack because he really is a psychologically fascinating character. I mean it’s almost like Cruel Intentions tried to do a movie about JFK and then it just didn’t quite work but it’s like coded either in some intentional or not way it’s it’s in Cruel Intentions. …But he is-Jack is sort of a combination of both Sebastian and Kathryn. Like JFK is both of those two characters in one person. He’s both this malevolent, vicious, sadistic person, and this heartbroken man at the same time.”

“Why is that character fascinating? Why does Jack fascinate you if what Lacey’s hearing is just what happened?” asks a perfume hater.

“Because I’ve been hurt by men like that and because there are a lot of men who are bisexual, especially in elite circles, who pretend to be straight and are incredibly irresponsible with it.” says the actress.

The perfume hater looks sad and nods.

“It’s almost like F. Scott Fitzgerald warned us about Zelda but not JFK.” says a gay man.

“What that’s worth, Michael was bisexual. We have to say that not all men are like that who are bisexual. Bisexual women are not like that necessarily either. No, it is an interesting discussion spiritually.” says a psychic.

“Because Zelda was interested in-what was Zelda? I mean they are like what does that mean because Michael’s not like that but it seems like when a bisexual person has a tendency towards dysfunction or narcissism they’re extraordinary dangerous romantically speaking..” says a dead woman. “So what does it mean? I wonder if that’s why people are so weird about being bisexual? It’s like there’s no such thing because they’re scared by it because subconsciously maybe even on a genetic level they know that those are people who could be really hurtful.” She thinks.

“Because it’s not like if JFK wasn’t just a little different, he could have tried to seduce Lacey to get at Lem for not sleeping with him. And Lacey wouldn’t have done it but that is-I mean that’s a thing. And honestly I almost wonder if that’s partially what happened?! Did he put Elliott or his brother up to seducing her to get at Lem? Obviously, and Lem just may have been straight and may be straight or just not be interested at all and seemingly that’s the case, but-from what Lacey can tell, but it’s fascinating.” says another male psychic.

“So if JFK really was bisexual what was that presidency and is it’s creepy that Michael died. But I mean what were the Kennedys; what are they? Are they an upper class financially upper middle class Irish Catholic family from Boston who were desperately trying to fit in?” asks yet another living man.

More later.

“I made this. It’s very close to what she actually looked like. …Extremely close.” says Lem. “She’s never seen herself this closely captured outside of a mirror before. It’s almost unsettling to her.”

“I used a Tik Tok filter and just altered it enough to look extremely realistic.” says Lem. “Joe…cheated on her…with Pat Wilson.” He thinks. “And then she…temporarily forgot I was supposedly gay. …Truly! …She genuinely forgot. And then…I didn’t think it was important. So…I decided not to say anything. And we’ve been sleeping together ever since.” He thinks. “That’s a very crass way of telling the story. But…it’s the Millennial version.” He thinks more. “Truthfully…we didn’t want to sleep with anyone outside of marriage.” He thinks more. “I haven’t! …Unless you count my homosexual misadventures.” He thinks. “No…she’s extremely beautiful. But…she didn’t turn me straight. And yet…as determined as I was to resist women for their own good…because I thought I was gay…I couldn’t have resisted her.”

“Lem…why and how would Joe have cheated?!” asks a perfume hater.

“Pat Wilson…knew him really well. So…Lacey, who is…deeply romantic…wouldn’t have…held his attention? …See…Pat…was…in on all his worst secrets. And…Lacey…was his sweet, loving, innocent hearted…kind…loyal by nature…sweetheart, who never was. But…Pat knew his dark side. And she’d loved him…despite it all. Lacey…knew…but…assumed the best of him. Pat…knew who he really could be at his worst, not just at his best. …And…even if she’d been born earlier she’d not have been likely to have been shown his worst angles as a man. …So…when she caught him cheating…with Pat…it’d have broken her heart but…she’d have been ready to move on too. Because…she’d know that she’d been lied to.” says Lem. “And depending on things…I’m very possibly who she’d have turned to. …And not in the way Jackie did.”

“She was that pretty or slightly prettier?” asks Casi.

“Prettier!” says Lem.

“So you’d have figured out you weren’t gay…if Joe hadn’t died…and Lacey was there.” says a woman.

“Yeah!” says Lem. “And we feel bad. An affair is an affair. But…the marriage would have been broken by Joe Jr. already anyway. Or she’d have married me.”

“But you seduced her?!?” asks a gay man.

“Yes! I…found her drinking alone, we’ll say. And reading love poems. And I…decided to recite a poem I’d memorized. …And we got tired…and I told her to go to bed. And she told me she was…too lonely and sad.” says Lem. “And…I offered to sleep with her to keep her company.” He laughs. “And she was confused. But…we…made love.” He thinks. “That’s the translation.”

“And…you’re sharing that information with us because we don’t have good boundaries?” asks a Millennial.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Lacey is sick. Goodnight!” says Lem, kindly.