Michael Again

“If you were married to Michael…would you buy Henry Jacques perfume?” asks Lem.

“No. I hate that house. It’s like a knockoff of Creed.” says Lacey. “Or am I wrong?”

“No! It is!” says Michael.

Lem laughs. “What would you wear?!”

“You know…I’ve been so focused on you…I don’t even know.” says Lacey.

“What do I like?!” asks Lem.

“Estée Lauder Youth Dew.” says Lacey.

“Yes!” he says.

“Michael what would you have liked?!” asks Lacey.

Lacey ends up at home after driving by really old pharmacy. The pharmacy was closed or Lacey looked, and she is fairly certain she saw a woman standing behind the counter, who looked up at her. With a rather pretentious look like, “I’m a very big deal I work at the pharmacy and you just didn’t quite make it in the world the way that I am going to.” She had thick glasses, reddish hair down to her shoulders, and she was white. Lacey looked back at her. She was gone. And Lacey is fairly certain that this woman was either a demon tricking her through the Illuminati or a ghost. She seemed incredibly self-confident and it’s funny because the more that Lacey thinks about what she looked like…she probably was dressed for the early 1940s.

And at that…Lacey is driven into Michael’s arms again temporarily.

“I would have liked La Perla.” says Michael.

And at that Mr. Blue tries to kill her through demonic suffocation.

“What is it that makes you so mad about being part of the fascination class? …I might be trying to kill her too for the same reason…what is it that makes us so angry?!” asks Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“I think we’re mad.” says Mr. Blue.

“And then you tell yourself that Michael and I aren’t real and that the full body apparition she just saw was something you conjured.” Lem says to Bobby. “You were doing fine until that full body apparition appeared and then it freaked you out too much.”

“You know to be honest I am more offended by how smug she seemed. What in the world gives her the opinion that just because she works at a pharmacy, she somehow is superior to me?” says Lacey very sincerely.

“They use demons to control her body to cut off breath to cut off her voice to cut off her hand gestures to try to make her head shake. The other night Bobby literally made her head move. When Zelda almost drove her family off a cliff that actually may have possibly been the Illuminati.” says Michael.

“What is it that I’m sensing you guys are i I I so upset about it??” asks Lacey.

“When you enjoy yourself, you enjoy yourself in a very aristocratic way, and it’s incredibly threatening to them because they can’t figure out how to even breathe in such an aristocratic way they cut off your breath because your breath sounds aristocratic in their head.” says the pharmacist Lacey saw.

Silence.

“i’m telling her I died in the fire, the George Floyd riot fire. But did I Bobby?! You’re the one that knows everything especially about pretty women with sexy hair and pouty red lips?” says the pharmacist. “Do you really like women of my generation or do you just like the thought of attacking individual people for reasons that are totally unrelated to sex?”

Later.

I know Bobby is of the opinion that women and that generation put out a lot more than women do today, but not because that woman slept with him because he just analyzed it and realized that it’s probably just true. And that can’t just be a vibe that they were putting off. The men were far too aggressive. They probably really did just put out, he thinks.

Suddenly his exhibitionism seems mild by comparison in his mind.

“Bobby your mom had 11 kids!!!” says a Millennial.

“Are my lungs the problem or is it my brain?” Lacey asks about her inability to breath.

“It’s a combination of both!” says Louis.

“You know, I am realizing the reason that I have our time with her for reasons of social class is probably because I’m Irish and I’m very insecure about my family. But…Mr. Blue I think you think being loved by your parents as a mark of being in the upper class.” He thinks. “And by upper class I mean old money.”

Mr. Blue sees Lacey as prey because her parents didn’t stand-up for her when he first attacked. He’s an angry malignant narcissist looking for a way to lash out…

“What made you choose Lacey to make your victim?!” asks a perfume hater of Mr. Blue.

Later. Lacey’s now wearing vintage Youth Dew.

“I bet used to smells really good on you.” says a perfume hater sadly.

“So do all of those old fragrances not just Youth Dew.” says Angela Lansbury.

More later.

“So you father who raised you made enough in oil to be in the top 1% in America if what’s required is $500,000.00 a year. Or for like two years or something. …And your father made how much a year?” asks a pedophile in the Illuminati.

“Translating from 1925 to 2023?!” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” she says.

“$487,000.00.” says Lacey after asking her father.

Gasps from the current British aristocracy.

“What if…that is the 1% in America.” says Lem. “Because it is. I’m pretty sure it’s a bit lower than the numbers you have for reference.”

“So how much was he worth net?!” asks a witch.

Later.

Turns out that Linn Billings likes Lacey is decorating more than his own.

“If that’s really actually true and you’re not just trying to seem straight even if you actually are what is it that you like about my decorating?” asks Lacey.

“You have a good sense of proportion. You kind of know what is appropriate in a different way than I do. So whereas I might put up five pictures on the wall and make them all black and white and very chic and 2015. Hopefully. You don’t care, you go entirely by your heart. So if something doesn’t look good, you don’t like it; if something does look good and makes sense you don’t care if it’s in style or if it’s considered bourgeois or if it’s strange to other people. You go entirely with your taste that you’ve acquired in your life, and the knowledge that you have, that’s very genuine and sincere of art and history and antiques. Your kids are learning a lot more than you think from watching you. They know what looks nice and what doesn’t and that’s actually something we need to talk about.” says Lem.

“Her father was worth 1.4 billion and 1925.” says Michael.

George Clooney laughs.

“How much was he actually worth Michael? That’s…umm…how much was how much was Thomas Banks worth?“ asks Amal.

“I mean let’s just say he was worth between 8 and 80 million. It’s not clear, but he probably owned a lot more than he was making and his salary may not have been his salary.” says Michael.

“And how old was he at that point?!” asks an actress.

“He was about 29.” says Reta.

“So her father was worth between eight and 80 million by age 30?” asks a tech billionaire.

“Yes, probably on the books for eight.” says Tom himself, possibly.

“OK so Michael and Lacey really are different in how they see things and so is Harold and so am I I really didn’t see things like JFK did. I really didn’t. …And then, when I see things through Lacey‘s perspective, it makes me angry. It makes me enraged. It makes me aroused. It makes me wanna laugh, makes me sad and yet I understand.” says Lem.

“You do you have like a basically perfect face that’s about a 10. It does look like it belongs in like 1982 at the latest. Not like you’re ugly by today’s standards. You’re a 10. It’s more just there’s something really scary about seeing a face that looks like it should’ve been 40 in 1982. At the most. It could’ve been 80.

But now it’s it doesn’t look bad it’s just it’s I think maybe it creeps me out. I don’t mean that in a mean way. It’s just there’s something that actually is initially a little shocking about it. …But that being said how how did your father get 1 million on the books by age 29?” asks Casi.

“Why did you guys steal Chanel 22 from her? That really does suit her better than any of you and it just hurts me that you guys can’t understand that. You used to respect what she said but I also feel like there were a lot of you who criticized her, both to her face and behind her back for choosing something so old ladyish.” says Tommy Banks. “So then you have to ask yourself.: what does old ladies mean? And she told one of you that she was like an old lady. And yet even then it didn’t occur to you that there was something very odd about the whole thing. You’re so suspicious about so many things that are so obviously not possible. But then it never occurred to you that it was weird that she looks like Marilyn Monroe, according to several of you. She was a housewife, she liked old movies, old music, and old men who were dead from from that same generation. Doesn’t that just start to seem kind of strange after a while?” He smiles. “There are some things that are very hard to tell her if she is my biological daughter and it’s very hard for me to find a way spiritually to tell her that she’s my daughter. If she’s not my biological daughter, I have told her that she’s my daughter. And it’s funny because we really do look a lot alike. She has very similar details genetically to me.” He thinks. “How did I make my money? Through hard work and brilliance? I really was a genius. We grew up wealthy and my family that I was raised in relatively speaking. You know it’s not like we were the Rockefellers, but we were wealthy. And yes, that did contribute to my ability to understand how to make money.”

“Were you subconsciously trying to sleep with Tommy Banks, Casi? If you’re delving into witchcraft, were you trying to intimidate his daughter or find a way to his bed or both?” asks Rocky. “Honestly I wonder if you were doing the same thing Nancy? Did you both feel frustrated? You were being incredibly nice to Lacey but you hated her guts but you were so nice…and then you were hurt when you found out that she saw through you?”

“So you think subconsciously we were both thinking that we were going to get a favor from you basically?” asks Casi.

“There were a lot of women in my time who tried to get favors from me and it’s possible that when she first started interacting with both of you, I even told her that you two seemed to be up to something and not to trust you.“ says Tommy Banks.

“Are you coming onto us right now?“ asks Casi, slightly scared.

“No but that’s a scary thought isn’t it? And I would suggest you be a lot more careful.

And the truth is I would never come on to my daughter‘s friends or even young women that she was associating with, but I can sense someone who’s trying to get something out of me or get something out of my daughter? And it’s weird Casi how I think you knew she had money and you were trying to probably get things out of her. You both were. And then you pretend like that wasn’t real and you don’t even know and you’re really wealthy and she’s a con artist and she’s just a liar, and she’s not that rich and she’s terrible?! …And that’s to cover up the stench, right? …I’m getting really sick of dealing with you two and I’m getting really sick of dealing with people like you…all over the world.” says Thomas Banks.

“We could drop a large amount of hydrochloric acid near where Tommy Banks used to live or in the very neighborhood, where if he had been babysitting his grandchildren with Selma on a summer day, they may have breathed in the fumes right and died? But no one got hurt because it was all properly taken care of. And I have a feeling that they wouldn’t have breathed in the fumes anyway…

But you don’t attack a man like that through his daughter on a subconscious level and you don’t shake him down either. Even if you could sense that there was wealth somewhere you don’t shake down his daughter when she’s just minding her business and he’s dead. I don’t know what demon inspired you all but I was feeling as much as you knew that there was well somewhere. …You also must’ve known that it probably wasn’t a safe thing to pursue openly…not because you had respect for her, but because you thought that somehow someone was watching you? Then don’t do it…and Bobby I seriously hope that you are not warning us that you are going to light a fire to yourself at any point in your existence.” says a CEO.

“How much does your legal father in law make?” asks Casi.

“He made $400,000.00 or so in 2010. He’s still employed in the same position.” says Lacey. 

“Wow!” says Summertime Sadness. “You know…you’d think if they thought you were after money you’d have just gone for him. Your ex husband cannot be making that much.”

“No. He did make $70,000.00 by age 26.” says Lacey with a laugh. “But no. He could make that much but we as partners in raising our kids have no time for him to push himself that much right now.”

“Does that give you all perspective?!” Harold Loeb says to the perfume community. “I would have liked Chanel No. 22 on her.”

“When was he 26?!” asks Summertime Sadness.

“He’s a math genius. Truly. One of the smartest people in that world.” says her ex husband’s father about his son.

“You’re being very exact!” says Summertime Sadness.

“Yes!! I’m proud of him too.” says Lacey’s ex father-in-law.

“He was 26 in 2009.” says Lacey.

“When did he first make over $50,000.00 a year?” asks Nancy. She sighs fitfully.

“Maybe…24 or so? 23?” says Lacey.

Michael starts laughing.

“She’s not impressed by that!!” says Michael. “She thinks it’s great. But it’s truly a man’s character that impresses her.”

Lacey nods her head in agreement.

“Wait! He truly could be making $400,000.00 a year?!??!?” asks Nancy.

“Yes! Very easily!” says Lacey and his father adamantly agrees.

“I have offered him so much help over the years but he’s very independent. I paid for an elite undergraduate degree and he graduated with honors.” says his father.

“Okay!!! But!! Lacey…if Thelma had raised you…would you have been shocked if Lem or Michael approached you?!” asks George Clooney.

“Not enough for my haters based on class to enjoy. However, I do…think I would been shocked on a certain level by it for other reasons. Not…in the right way with that either though.” says Lacey.

“I didn’t have sex with you.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald to Nancy.

Michael might be crying.

“Why are you crying, Michael?” asks Lacey.

“I hate it!!” he says. “I hate it!!!”

“Chanel No. 22?” asks Lacey.

Michael smiles. “No!” He thinks.

Lem smiles. “Do you actually not like it?”

“It’s…fine.” says Michael.

“What if I’d worn that when you approached me?!” asks Lacey.

He smiles. He thinks. Lem thinks too.

“It’s not that great to my nose. But…it’s a classic.” He thinks. “I’d have found it incredibly intriguing.”

“I like it. But…it’s…not my favorite.” says Lem.

Lacey nods in understanding.

“You know I am mad though, right?” asks Michael.

“Why?!” asks Lacey.

“The thought of you with anyone else.” says Michael. “I understand Lem. Even the others. But…it enrages me.”

“I relate.” says Lacey.

“So do I!” says Lem.

Silence.

“Well I’m exhausted.” says Lacey.

“We’ll figure out who’s best. We will!” says Louis.

“Goodnight all!” says Lem.