“The Kennedys spent thousands of Dollars a day on drugs for decades. When you add that up and all accruing expenses it’s about $60,000?! No, it’s more like $60 million! People used to say, ‘They have so much money they don’t know what to do with it!’ in the 70s and I think that was part of what encouraged their behavior was. It was this thought that they had an exorbitant amount of money that just wasn’t ever going to go away and given that they had very little ability to do anything after Jack and Bobby were both shot they had to just waste it on something fun.” says Michael Rockefeller
“Why didn’t they realize that they were going to have kids and great grandkids and that their house was going to need to be taken care of?” asks Lacey.
“They-“ starts Michael.
Lem laughs.
They calm down.
“This really bothers he doesn’t Lacey?!” asks Lem.
“How could it not?! It’s just absurd that these people are so dumb. I’m sorry if it’s mean, but how could you guys not realize that it was just going to go?!” asks Lacey, horrified but trying to be lighthearted about it.
“We had $45 million left, we’ll say.” says Bobby.
“Let’s say you had $300 million you spent $60 then how much did you have? $240. And then how many of you are there let’s say there’s 100. Divide 240 by 100 and what do you have? You each have what $2 million well a little over $2 million and that’s a problem isn’t it??! And so then you have to make money and desperately so probably right? So you start going along with hostage taking of children or drug trafficking or what did you guys get into because I doubt Merchandise Mart was that lucrative? …I mean you divide it up a little bit differently but it’s still starts going away unless if you have something that’s producing the money you don’t have a way to produce the money.” says Lacey.
“Yeah, that’s the thing the Rockefellers did understand that. People might not look at them with the same love that they look at the Kennedys at but I think we knew more about what was going to happen in the future.” says Michael.
“See the problem with that much money is that the way that you make it tends to be very volatile over a long period of time unless if it’s grounded in some sort of empire. And by empire I don’t mean you know, a railroad empire like Monopoly I mean an actual empire like Great Britain or France or Russia I mean an empire. You’ve got to be trying to take over the whole world in a way that is stable or you run into serious problems.” says Lacey.
“Why?!” asks a billionaire.
“It has something to do with limited resources in a way… I need to think about this answer but it has something to do with limited resources and it also has something to do with the nature of how you make the money.” says Lacey.
“Like it gets made really quickly often or what?” asks a Bill Gates.
“It seems like that’s the way it generally always works. I think it’s very difficult to make billions of dollars over a long period of time which is why when you make it really quickly it’s hard to sustain that kind of growth or even to sustain the billions themselves probably.” says Lacey.
“How do you sustain billions?!” asks a perfume hater of Lacey.
“Exactly! It’s not a safe proposition.” says Lacey. She thinks. “You could create fake identities. But that’s…a daunting prospect. I’d suggest…doing what the Rockefellers did from what I can gather.”
“What did they do? They reinvested it. And they were very frugal. And they dominated. And they took over. And terrified people. And I doubt they did drugs. …They also were very careful in general.” says Lacey.
“No, people make fun of my family, but there’s a reason we are the way we are or were the way we were.” says Michael.
Later.
“Yes, the British and the French are very similar.” says Lacey as she slowly becomes aware that she’s describing mere history. The emergence of British and French peoples. “Yes and I suppose that’s why the languages are interrelated too!” she says self-deprecatingly.
She sighs.
“Anyway, that’s why I can’t you know be like the Rockefellers and possibly Lem to some degree. I’m just I’m too ditzy at to be that ruthless.” says Lacey seriously in self-reflection.
“I feel like you could probably be ruthless, but not not like Michael apparently?” says a French woman.
“Yes very much, so. I feel like he’s a different sort of ruthless.” says Lacey.
“So how… do you guys maintain your millions?” someone asks Lacey.
“You invest in property, you get an education, you don’t overspend. You don’t live a horrific lifestyle but you just it’s like reasonable; you just don’t overspend. You don’t get addicted to anything, you might collect things, but you don’t get addicted to collecting them and you’re very, very harsh with yourself in a loving way. And you worship God.” says Lacey.
“What’s a reasonable lifestyle?!” asks Casi.
“If you thought I loved Lacey and I was completely faithful to her and that she loved me and yet she’d still be herself and we’d been extremely powerful and beautiful…would you be jealous of her or would you actually be kind to her for a change?” asks Joe Kennedy Jr.. “If you’d be kind to her I think you need to ask yourself what you’re really angry about. You know if you think you’re so sophisticated, then be sophisticated for a change because you’re not impressive, I’m sorry.”
“A $4 million main house at most. Or $40 million of course if you’re a billionaire. Maybe a island shared with family or as your main residence. …Then only two to three other houses at most. And they of course need to be far less expensive. …I suppose you could have two expensive houses. Essentially you have to find a workable balance. Nothing personally unsustainable. …It’s like buying a vintage Kelly for $8,000.00 instead of a Birkin for $40,000.00 when you’re a housewife in Connecticut worth $5 million net in your 50’s. You could technically buy the Birkin…but…why? It’s more prestigious but…it’s dangerous to carry a $40,000.00 Birkin. …I objectively like both the Kelly and the Birkin but…the Kelly is less…abrasive. People carry the Birkin like they wear the color red. It’s…loud. …I can’t bring myself to carry one. And maybe the housewife prefers the Kelly for other reasons too. …Regardless…it’s about that sort of lifestyle. Enjoying Hermes in subtle elegance and yet saving $30,000.00.” says Lacey.
“Bullshit!” says Casi. “You can’t afford the Birkin!”
“No! You can. But it’s…a weird trend unless you really prefer the Birkin.” says Lacey.
“A trend?!” asks Casi.
“Yes! There are always trends and patterns.” says Lacey.
Casi gives her a dirty look.
“No! There are!” says Lacey.
“History is based on patterns.” says John Seay.
And at that a jealous and insecure Bill Clinton curses Lacey to be poor. She breaks that curse and any other in Jesus’s name.
“That’s too damn smart! You really are that much smarter than me!” says Casi to Lacey. Casi pouts.
“Casi…so was Lem. So am I. So was Zelda. …It’s just common sense.” says Michael. “Get a grip!”
Casi gets enraged.
“Like you just can’t comprehend that when you die, you’re going to be yourself but rich and beautiful in Heaven, if you go to Heaven?” asks a Frenchman of Casi.
“If she was with you, it would make me feel more comfortable if you really loved her and I wouldn’t be and I wouldn’t be threatened by her wealth and her beauty it’s really weird.” says Casi.
“What?!? That’s not true!” says Bobby. He tries to laugh.
More later.
“I think there’s something to be said for spending millions of dollars on looking cool in nightclubs in the 70s; people don’t respect me now and that’s not a happy thing but when I was a teenager and when I was in my 20s I was really cool and I have those memories of when people really thought it was extraordinarily cool.” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..
“Does Lem not being gay in reality ruin the memories or just slightly alter them?” asks Lacey.
“Alter them. It just alters them.” says Bobby.
“Even if he was trying to kill you?” asks Lacey.
He thinks. “No, no… no, I can’t handle that even if it’s true.”
“Because it’s too much of a contradiction even for a so-called man of extremes or because it’s too eye-opening and it’s just too awful?” asks Lacey.
“It’s awful; it’s just awful.” says Bobby.
“Are you sure about that?“ asks Lacey.
“Yeah.” says Bobby.
“Well that’s concerning because it indicates that there’s some sort of weird divide that’s happening and has been happening probably for a while in American culture and then we have to ask ourselves what it is and where it started and it’s just something that causes incredible despair the more you think about it. That being said it’s not hopeless with God it’s just it’s depressing because you have to wonder how we as humans could ever create a society that’s really democratic and egalitarian.” says Lacey.
“You mean you can’t easily marry outside of your tribe, almost?” asks Casi.
“Yes! And has it always been like that in the US or is it becoming more and more difficult?” asks Lacey. “I mean the Great Gatsby describes it. But is it even worse than that?” She thinks. “Because it’s not just about class snobbery. It’s possibly worse.”
“Right? Like…it’s not just about being mean.” says Casi.
“Exactly!” says Lacey.
“How much does it cost to keep up a 10,000 sq. ft. house on an estate?” asks Casi.
“Well…it’s probably closer to 5,000 sq. ft. In our family. But it could be larger than I realize. …My cousin has said that decorating is a very challenging task. It might not be for me. But…I think for most people it is. It’s just an issue of proportions. Like, you have a huge room and then do you buy oversized furniture or lots of furniture or what?! …And then that’s expensive and then there’s the house itself.” She sighs. “Cleaning! …Safety issues. …Maybe $50,000.00 a year? But…that’s a rough estimate. See…the thing is….my cousin’s husband has a good job and her father gave her the estate. So…there’s no mortgage. It’s just upkeep and taxes.” says Lacey. “Actually! No! He sold it to them for really cheap, considering.”
“He sold it to them?!?” asks Casi.
“Yes!! And then he gave his other daughter the money.” says Lacey.
Casi looks sad.
“So why didn’t the other daughter get the estate?!” asks a perfume hater.
“She’s single with one young adult daughter. She…has a town house somewhere. And she’s retired in her late 40’s. …But the one with the estate is married and has several kids.” says Lacey.
“I suppose they have a dog too!” says Casi.
“They might.” says Lacey.
“Who’s home would make the most sense to burglarize?” asks Casi.
“Nobody’s. But…I do have some cousins who likely have decent wine collections. And honestly…I would think selling wine would be easier than most things.” says Lacey.
Casi laughs. “Easier than perfume?”
“Hmm. No! And yet yes.” says Lacey.
“Why??” asks Casi.
“Because perfume is actually harder to sell than one might think. And you have to transport it. Closed wine is easier to transport. But…also…it’s likely very popular right now?” wonders Lacey.
Casi looks startled. “Yeah! Okay! $100 a bottle. But…your perfume collection would be fun to steal.” says Casi.
“It would be. But you don’t want to go in my house. It’s a bad idea.” says Lacey.
“Like what would happen??” asks Casi.
Lacey thinks. “I don’t even know. But I worry you’d end up dead in a ditch frozen to death.” says Lacey. “Maybe not even by my father but possibly his friends or his sympathizers.” She thinks. “Or…if they’re not violent…I worry about the spiritual impact on you in general.”
“Like…how?!?” asks Chris.
“Like…you’re walking through the forest with no protection from deer ticks.” says Lacey.
“I just don’t know when to stop with you!” says Casi.
“Are you coming on to me?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah!” says Casi.
“Wow you’re persistent! …No! Of course the answer is no. But thank you? Or is it an insult? It kind of has always slightly seemed like an insult.” says Lacey.
“Really?! Always?!” asks a perfume hater.
“Yes! A very abrasive insult.” says Lacey.
“It’s because you don’t want to seem like a lesbian or it’s be because you feel personally insulted?” asks the perfume hater.
“It’s a personal insult to me. Why do I need your help?!” asks Lacey. “I’m not an imbecile who doesn’t know her own orientation. …And yet….I suppose Lem-“. Lacey laughs. “I suppose Lem was like that. But…I’m not! And to me it’s obnoxiously insulting.”
“Like you’re a completely helpless brat?!” asks the other perfume hater.
“Wow! What pathetic person you might be if that’s what your limited intelligence and moral compass instructs you to believe. …But if you’re innocent…yes! Exactly! …Like I’m some sort of…grossly dim-witted, very backward, distinctly moronic person.” says Lacey.
“Because for you to be that unaware is…odd?!” asks the other perfume hater.
“Yes!! With my attitude and aesthetic it’s…it would be a HUGE sign of real weakness and inferiority for me not to know?” says Lacey. “I think making me evil or dumb or ashamed or prideful or whatever is farthest from reality comforts my haters?”
The other perfume hater laughs.
“What’s funny? I’d assume the best but I can’t anymore.” says Lacey.
“You’re so much like Pete. It’s creepy!” says the other perfume hater.
“I’m better looking than Pete. But otherwise…we are a lot alike. I’m hopefully a better person than him too. But…I do relate to him.” says Lacey.
The other perfume hater cracks-up laughing. “You don’t care when people snub you. You just feel sorry for them. And it’s not that you feel superior. You just…think it’s…what?!”
“Bizzare. Unnecessary. Unnatural. …Frightening.” says Lacey. “Mostly terrifying.”
“Why?!” asks Chris.
“Because…it serves no purpose and you should be aware of that. You really should! …When people snub me it’s always with the premise that I’m somehow a cloddish, uneducated, unsophisticated, gross lunatic.” says Lacey. “And if that’s the case…you should be either confronting me for higher purposes or getting something out of it. Neither is possible. People have lied and said both are. But…at this point I see through those lies. …You’re all insane. And it’s like living in the Twilight Zone.” says Lacey.
They think. “Okay!! I guarantee you…someone in the media gave us the impression you and Pete were fair game.”
Lacey thinks. “Yeah! But Pete is so misunderstood.” She thinks. “Why does Bob assume he’s gay?! Is it lack of awareness? And even if the writers know Pete is very sexual, and sad…and possibly deep…he’s not supposed to be truly smart. Or is he?!” She thinks. “Aren’t we supposed to think he’s a bumbling fool? Or no?”
“Would you marry Pete?” asks Casi.
“Yes! But then he’d be boring.” says Lacey. “He’d be content and a hard worker and…not a dramatic enough character.”
“But you’d be happy??” asks the other perfume hater.
“If I’m illegitimate…it might be a little…creepy. Because we really could be cousins. But…if it was distant enough…yes. I’m not Trudy.” says Lacey. “That being said…I doubt we’d be soulmates so much as what Pete and Trudy were at their best. Life partners.”
“That’s what you’re afraid of with me?!” asks Louis of Lacey.
“That we’re too much alike?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah.” says Louis sadly.
“After you possibly cheated or went back to your second wife…yes!” says Lacey.
“Because that, if it happened, obviously killed the romance even if you love me dearly?” asks Louis.
“You’re one of my favorite people! But yes.” says Lacey.
“Did Pete love Peggy?!” asks a perfume hater.
“I’m not totally identical to Pete. But…yes! I think he was secretly devastated by her.” says Lacey.
“Does Pete just give-up at the end?!” asks Casi.
“Yes!! He’s waiting for death.” says Lacey. “Like Scott Fitzgerald he sees life as a cheat. But he loves his daughter in a normal way. And he’s good at his work.”
“Does he love Trudy?” asks an actor.
“No. He loves her. But he doesn’t love her?” suggests Lacey.
“Would he have loved you??” asks Casi.
“More than Trudy.” says Lacey. “Not as much as Peggy.”
“Would that make you jealous?” asks Casi.
“It would hurt. And be deeply disappointing. Despair inducing. …But…we’d value stability and marriage. And sometimes we’d feel in love. And…we’d decide we needed each other.” says Lacey.
“Would you be in love?!” asks Barney.
“Yes! Not deeply. But enough to not feel…totally lonely.” says Lacey.
“Would he cheat?” asks Lem.
“Maybe? If he did I’d get over him and without fanfare move on. …But…he might not too.” says Lacey.
“No! You’d really be in love.” says a queer woman. “But it wouldn’t be romantically that deep. You’d be stable, kind, life rafts for each other.”
“Yes!! Not friends. But…the best we’d found in a fallen world. Our best choice for this side of paradise.” says Lacey. “Were you guys trying to kill me? Was the whole love angle entirely fake? Because you HATE me Mr. Blue. Passionately.” She becomes irate. “You’re all just violent cheap so-called Gypsies aren’t you?” she says to the Illuminati. “Excepting the Queen and other higher-ups maybe. Huh? You’re all jealous, angry, money-rich criminals and clowns?”
“Who sent me?” asks Mr. Blue.
“The two mainstream parties? As an idiotic agreement because you’re sex starved, ugly man-bitches who couldn’t get me truly in bed much less off if you prayed for eternity?” says Lacey. “It seemed cute to you?”
“So if that’s true we just seem painfully gay, impotent and weak now? And…if that’s not true…we are furious Mr. Blue is using us as cover.” says a man.
“Why Pete? He’s not safe. Ken is far safer. But you all have a crush on Ken? Or you’re afraid of him?!” asks Casi.
“Pete…might move on. But he’s not one to let go of things, in a way. Bad move!” says a reader.
“That’s very true!” says Lacey.
“Time for bed!” says Lem. “Goodnight.”
Keen to Cross the Pond 