Lacey Isn’t Black

It Was You by Wild Belle plays.

Black They are turned into slaves. On a plantation in Georgia. Not a Seay plantation…but one where they beat their slaves…into bloody pulps.

“Oh that’s cute!” says a particularly hateful, pretentious black actress from And Just Like That. She’s repulsive with her constant cloying “white face.”

“Does she think she white?!” asks a black woman.

“Like is she psychotic?” asks Lacey.

Unfortunately brainwashed into thinking Lacey is racist or a cruel elite overlord she ignores her.

“I don’t need your help!” spits the black female reader at Lacey.

“You started the conversation!” yells Mitch McConnell, exasperated.

“Why can’t you see through the facade?!” a white lite woman asks a black woman named Candice of the Republicans.

“Are you only nice to her until Democrats start liking her?!” a black woman named Candice asks the actress…but only with intense coercion.

“They’re not landed gentry, Candice.” says Queen Elizabeth II. “You thought you were so elite calling them that. But due to racism you just embarrassed all American black Republicans instead.”

“Do I seem racist too?!” asks Jerome Hill.

“Oh!! Not to me.” says Colin Powell.

“But you do to me.” says a black woman.

Fall In Love by Phantogram plays.

It’s 1850. Lacey’s husband is Lem. He’s a Duke. Like the Duke of Marlborough.

The blacks don’t hate the British overlords. But they…don’t…love the whole…colonialism thing.

The British aren’t…Americans.

Are they racist? Yes and no. But their racism is based in actual reality. So they have Meghan Markle on their “I hate you!” hit list because she’s a violently social climbing “Pity me, I’m black.” obnoxiously condescending asshole.

Take Me Away by Wild Belle plays.

“Don’t worry, I got you girl!” says an American black woman to Meghan Markle.

Meghan looks scared. Tentative.

“You just want a little sugar from your daddy!” says the black woman. “See…black women are awoken and elite in the bedroom.”

“You’re calling us prostitutes!” says Meghan.

“No! You’re white?” asks the black American “girl” who’s 36.

“No!! I’m black too?!?” says Meghan, horrified. She cries. She thinks. She worries she’d be racist against blacks if she was fully white.

“I’ve had that thought too…sister.” says a black man in who’s also somewhat English origin in London. He’s legally English but…not fully ethnically.

“Do you feel trapped?!” she asks him.

“Yes!!” he yells. “Lacey and I both know…I’m not fully British.”

“You are supposed to be legally.” says Lacey.

“To an extent.” he says.

“Sadly…seeing that nuance is…British.” says Lacey.

“My life is Hell in that way.” he says, candidly.

“I know.” says Lacey, far more upset by it than it seems.

“So…Lacey automatically understands that racial situation.” says Lem. “But she’s not a racist. It’s likely the British aren’t actually racist at heart…so much as enraged and exhausted by the American Shitshow.”

“Yeah.” says Megan hurt.

Lem looks angry…“Why do you not want to understand what you did?”

“What did I do?” asks Meghan.

“You violently social climbed. …The British HATE THAT. …I mean you had George Clooney laughing at ALL British history as he passed out VODKA…at your wedding…ON TELEVISION! …You can’t fake your identity. But if you’re going to try…you should be far more respectful. You seem rude, psychopathically racist and dismissive of their country.” says Lem. “You don’t understand that they exist. American assholes have ruined a lot of Britain. Jack Kennedy was a great example. His whole family pretended to be Anglophiles…like Lacey actually is…but they’re really just hateful Irish Catholic frauds from America.”

The Irish get upset?

“Lem you and Lacey are English.” says Piers Morgan.

“So am I.” says Meghan.

“Then you’re white, Megan!” yells a British woman.

“No…she’s not entirely.” says a British psychiatrist in Meghan’s defense.

“Why did you let George Clooney…and Amal…shit in England’s face on television…at your historic wedding?!” asks a powerful Muslim man of Meghan.

“So that’s actually why they hate her?!?” asks a Caribbean man.

“Possibly. That’s what it looks like to us.” says Lem Billings. “And what if we’re almost entirely correct?!?”

“So to the British the issue isn’t race. It’s an issue of colonialism.” says a White Supremacy supporter in the US.

“Yes! But then that’s not racism.” says Lem. “WE AREN’T RACIST!!”

“You came here to fuck me. You came here to fuck me and experience an American dream of my dick up your ass because you are bi-curious. Because Lacey wasn’t enough for you and you thought, ‘Look at that hot ass.’” says JFK as played by Bruce Greenwood. Except it’s actually JFK.

Green-Hart Nazis dance to bitches broken hearts by Billie Eilish.

“That’s not true. Sorry.” says Lem. He walks slowly backward away from JFK.

“He’s insane!” yells Erin at JFK as played by Bruce Greenwood, except it’s actually JFK.

“He can’t hear you. He’s too high.” says a secret service agent on patrol in the 1960’s. Jack jumps on his desk in the Oval Office and almost cracks his skull open when he falls off. But he’s caught by a Secret Service Agent. Possibly that happened in reality…

“Jack could easily have just died!” said a secretary, in shock.

Jigsaw Falling Into Place by Radiohead plays to mock American evil.

“I am lead singer in that song. That whole song is about me and sex-slam-truth with Lemmers. I found Bill Clinton‘s ass hot…and it overwhelmed me because when Lem was young, he vaguely resembled Bill…and I was like, ‘HOT damn! I’d like to hit that ass! …But this is a kid and I am the President.’” says JFK.

“I was straight!!” yells Lem.

“Nobody believes you!!” say the demons controlling “black folks” in Louisiana.

“See!! See!!!” says JFK, excited.

Exhausted…hot…Lem pushes up his glasses in Florida. He’s out of breath due to despair and asthma.

“Jack if I had known then what I know now I wouldn’t even have been there. I was straight, Jack I really was actually straight. Not fake retard straight. I was genuinely only interested in fucking women. I didn’t find men arousing. Do you understand English?” asks Lem.

“You don’t like huge tits!!!” yells Jack.

“I don’t think you understand. …Stop trying to steal me.” says Lem. “You’re relentlessly idiotic!”

“So you’re saying you want me more than God Himself…but you…can’t say that?” asks JFK.

“No. I don’t want you. I don’t want men.” says Lem.

“But you did?!” asks JFK.

“No!! I never did.” says Lem.

“That’s NOT TRUE!!!” yells JFK sobbing.

“OK why can’t Lacey and Lem just go to England cause I have a weird feeling if it’s reincarnation he can almost manifest fully for her there. I’m pretty sure if it’s reincarnation he literally grabbed her boob…in England. So…so why are they here?” asks a black pretentious actress from And Just Like That.

“She should just go!!” says a group of peasant white men in America.

“She’s been trying to go since she was 12.” says a black actor from And Just Like That.

“How close has she come to leaving since she was 12?” asks Louis.

“Six times. For real.” says Lacey sincerely and honestly.

“Yeah! It’s not a false thing.” says Noel Nesheim.

“Okay! What happened each time!?” asks George Clooney.

“The first was out of high school… I couldn’t find an abroad program. The second was in College at UND. I transferred schools. The second was again at Messiah College. I couldn’t figure out my class schedule to fit it in. And then I left the school. Then I was fully and completely accepted at Aberystwyth in Wales but…I…was misdirected to the wrong loan. And so…I gave-up. And planned to still go…but…I married Mark instead. Then we spent a month there… And we’ve been planning to live there for at least six months ever since. We’ve come close twice.

The first time we were derailed by the literal Illuminati. We were a year or two away from living there, when I found the Illuminati. Then…we came close again and I fell down the stairs, became anemic and the Queen died.” says Lacey. “I still like to go…but I worry that month was my only chance until death.”

“OK so that’s not fucked-up to you at all that she keeps trying to like…legitimately actually go…and she keeps being prevented?!?” asks JFK, enraged. “I am dead, get a clue! If Lem was straight sometimes I know that…and this is one of those times where I’m having a lucid moment.” he says. “Why can’t you understand that it’s screwed-up that she’s been trying to go since she was 12 and she’s come close to actually going and living there for at least six months to a year six times and each time she’s been bizarrely thwarted.”

“Because she’s making that up. She’s gotta be making that up! She didn’t make that up.” says Mr. Blue with his panties in a twist.

“She didn’t make that up or she did in your mind?” asks Pope Pius XI.

“No. She did!!” he yells.

“No! She did not.” says Pope Pius XI.

“Well…why Aberystwyth?!“ asks a Kennedy.

“Because the school was a rouse to be in Great Britain.” says Pope Pius XI.

“So the school didn’t matter?” asks a Kennedy suspiciously.

“Well…Aberystwyth is a good university. It’s not like she was going somewhere bad.” says Pope Pius XI.

“The University of North Dakota is a shit school!! …I could fuck the whole state out of my fucking ass!” says Wobbly grinning confidently. “My God!!! There’s no way that their study abroad program had any sort of decent university that they could’ve sent her for a year! Yeah right!! For a whole full fucking year?! Yeah right! It’s a shit school!

I mean that’s a shit school for shit school. That’s impossible!” says Wobbly sincerely.

“I guarantee you that there was actually a university in England that Lacey was all but signed up to attend and that we guaranteed her she could go. Why don’t you ask her more questions about it?” asks UND.

“So she was actually in the real honors program there and she had like a what was her what was her grade point average?” asks Wobbly.

“Yes she was a very important person in the Honors Program community that year that she attended…and I’m not gonna use the numerical year because you’re gonna look that up and try to kill her or destroy our school with it because you’re psychotic madman. I can tell you don’t really research anything…but the New York Times has a problem, MSNBC has a problem, CNN has a criminal problem with that. You have that problem too Wobbly, don’t you? You don’t actually research stuff because it seems beneath you to have to bother figuring out what reality is on a factual level.

Ask her what happened.” says UND.

“So you were going to join Tri Delta. And attend school in Great Britain for a year. …And…you were popular. And you had a handsome young man who was accepted at MIT from North Dakota old money…in love with you.” says Lem. “What happened?”

“I needed to escape.” says Lacey. “I think I felt trapped in a dungeon.”

“Could you have used us?” asks Tri Delta.

“I didn’t want to be a slut.” says Lacey.

The They looks confused.

“We would have turned you into a slut?!” asks Tri Delta.

“Yes!” says Louis. “She’d have married very well.” He laughs. “But…she loved love.”

“Which is just loving God.” says Lacey. “If the love is real.”

“True!” says Louis.

“No. So…she’s married to some very wealthy man and is happy and free…but…is also…slutty?” asks a black actress from And Just Like That.

“Yes! And she couldn’t do that to her character.” says Louis.

“So…that’s bullshit!!” yells Chris.

“How?!?” asks UND.

“Because Chris Coleman isn’t Norm Coleman.” says Chris in 2016.

Classist snobs in the American middle class rock out here…because they wholeheartedly assume Chris is…on to something. They are led by the classist snobs in the middle class in the Illuminati.

“I am aware that Chris Coleman and Norm Coleman are two different people. You’re the one who is confused not me.” says Lacey to Chris.

“No, you’re the one that’s confused I know who they are. I’m basically an expert at everything, that’s my job and you’re the one that’s confused!” says Mr. Blue.

“OK why are we talking about Chris Coleman versus Norm Coleman?” asks a middle class American man.

“It’s taken her all these years to figure this out. He makes mistakes like that partially on purpose when he’s listening to her. Lacey was being heavily recruited to join Tri Delta which was an established elite old money sorority at UND in 2004. It’s since been bought by the Catholic Church because it was that old money and elite. Meaning their beautiful mansion that they lived in has been purchased by the Catholic Church, which is something that happens in old money circles.

One of her sorority sisters, who took an immediate interest in her, was a rather important person. Her father worked on Norm Coleman‘s campaign and was sort of a big deal in Republican political circles in the Minnesota area. And she had every intention of mentoring Lacey, and probably finding young men their age who wanted someone like Lacey to fuck because she could tell Lacey would probably put out at least a little and that was helpful for this young woman and so that would’ve been Lacey‘s hook-up basically. So it’s not like prostitution. It’s more like that girl was probably planning on marrying someone wealthy and she could tell Lacey was kind of like that too. …It was actually kindness on her part as she thought, ‘Okay…she’s going to have to marry well like me because we have like two screws loose. We’re both geniuses…but we’re so eccentric.’ And I think her intent then would’ve been to try to help Lacey find someone and and herself to marry…who is wealthy and would love them. Not that she and Lacey are a couple but two men who would marry them both individually. One for her and one for Lacey. Both men very rich. And that’s not a gold-digger, that’s survival.” says Mary Rockefeller.

“Did you lie, Norm Coleman, to protect yourself…or out of fear?” asks MSNBC.

“How do you even know that I lied? How do you even know that he asked me at all this whole time? Was he talking to me or Coleman Hawkin’s ghost?!

There was a man who worked for me back then and it wasn’t just for me and I don’t want to talk about his daughter. She may have gone to UND and it’s possible I don’t even know, but if she did go there…the young woman I recall was wild…and that’s probably part of why Lacey got scared by Tri Delta, to be honest. …Because I have a feeling Lacey wouldn’t have gotten into drugs or alcohol, but she’s right she may have ended-up married to someone and apparently have lost some self-respect. The sad truth is though that may have been safer than the life that she’s led…and I’m glad she has her kids but aside from that…I wonder if being that young woman’s friend would’ve been a better choice…but she didn’t know. And that’s the problem then. Lacey‘s kids matter and that’s where you have to back-off and say, ‘OK maybe both those young women decided that Lacey‘s kids should exist and be loved!’ and just respect that choice or you have to back off and say, ‘Lacey decided that and her friend was OK with it!’. Because it maybe was the best choice for Lacey and if it’s a true friend, then she supports her, not in a sexual way like Jack supported them, but she actually says, ‘Go for it! You’re a mom, that’s awesome!’ and they’ve never talked since and that’s sad if they could’ve been real friends.” says Norm Coleman.

“OK but here’s where I’m confused because it sounds like this young woman had a father who is a lawyer or a businessman who is somewhat well-off and apparently somewhat powerful and Lacey’s birth father is possibly Thomas Banks…and then her actual family is somewhat old money, so then how is it prostitution is it is marrying of equals?” asks a perfume hater from Alabama.

Fade Out Lines by The Avener & Phoebe Killdeer plays. Blenheim Palace shakes its ass. “I empathize with them.” the palace says if palaces could talk.

“The palace needed help with its ceilings. The plaster was cracking. There was water damage. The fabric was becoming worn on sofas and in bedding, there were electrical problems eventually but essentially it was exhausted. The palace became exhausted.

Enter Jennie Jerome. Her son is Sir Winston Churchill.” says a British historian.

Come Around by M. I. A. plays.

“Wait, what?!” asks Mr. Blue confused.

“So Lacey was supposed to marry Jennie Jerome as this young woman in old money UND Tri Delta understood instinctively the moment that she met Lacey potentially. And you can’t go there now unfortunately because it’s closed due to low membership. Of course it’s closed now…due to low membership but if Lacey had gone there no it wouldn’t have closed. It’d be very popular…because that’s potentially the spiritual impact Lacey would’ve had on the school and specifically on that chapter of Tri Delta.” explains a British historian.

“So your joke about the nun and sex is funny isn’t it? Cause there’s nuns there now. Your wife didn’t join Tri Delta and the chapter closed and now it’s nuns. Is that good or bad Lem?!” asks a North Dakotan.

“So…let’s get this clear: those young women were brilliant. Lacey’s friend was considered a genius as a child. They tested her and she was off the charts. Lacey, either is old money elite from thee New Amsterdam…or her great grand uncle was knighted by the King of Norway in 1954. And that ladder case her uncle Ron was the president of his fraternity at UNT in the 1950s actually might’ve been early 60s late 1950s, but regardless he was very popular on campus with women with men with women in a sexual way and met his friends, and he was king of us of the fraternity. He really wasn’t an asshole though he married a wonderful woman. He was faithful to her as far as Lacey knows, and probably in reality and they retired multi millionaires. You should ask more questions about Ron. He also went to him Annapolis.

Her uncle was not Ron Burgundy. He was Ron Craft of the Craft Farm and of Craft Oil 1973. His brother owns Craft Electric, his niece owns the estate where there was supposed to be stables for six horses.” says a British historian.

“So she was looking for Trudy too, just like Pete. And so was that other young woman but they’re women so that’s not what Trudy would look like. Trudy would look like Lem or Harold Loeb or Louis or Michael or both of them in different ways is that correct? They both were looking for Trudy as a man or something along those lines?” asks a middle class American.

Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell plays.

“There was a young there-there was a young man there who was tall with glasses, who resembled Lem Billings. And he was madly in love with Lacey at UND and they went on one date and he was planning to be a lawyer. He was from a wealthy family in California, they bought fine art…but he terrified her. He was part of a fraternity…and honestly Lacey worries she should’ve married him but she didn’t know back then. Now she would know that that young man probably was safe but at the time she didn’t know that he just scared her and you have to remember he wasn’t actually Lem. But if he would’ve made her a good husband it’s sad.” says another British historian. “And if he wouldn’t have made her a good husband, it’s testament to Lacey having an incredibly keen sense.”

“So yes, yes they were both looking for Trudy as a type of person. Someone who would understand them because both of those young women were extraordinary. And extraordinarily exhausted. They were smart, but school was becoming difficult for them. They both were raised in wealth, but for different reasons that are actually not potentially dissimilar they were both suffering mental collapse. An actual exhaustion…by the time they were in college.” says yet another British historian.

“Then Survival of the Fittest means I win and the They in the Illuminati are hot shit and you should just all go kill yourselves, ya bitch!!” says all of the evil Illuminati. They truly believe it for at least the most part.

“We’re not dead yet and if we have died in an evil way, what makes you think you’ve won?” asks the ghost of Lady Diana Spencer.

“Go big green!” says Erin grinning an enormous, jubilant smile. She’s…epic…in her legendary imagination.

Hey Jude by The Beatles plays.

“Pray to St. Jude!” says JFK mockingly of a child being molested by him. He zips up his pants and farts on his way out the door in his grand, American…hotshot gang exit. He’s redeemable but possibly worthless in that moment to anyone but Satan for firewood in that moment.

“To me, that song is about heroin!” says Erin.

“To me it’s about the British laughing at themselves as lovingly as possible.” says Lacey.

“When you came to Ireland, we got pissed off because you seemed rich still. You’re not still supposed to be rich. We got to keep the Kennedys in office in our hearts…so you’re supposed to be sucking shit…and it kind of is weird.” admits Dublin, Ireland to Lacey.

“If she’s reincarnated, she’s Scottish you can’t tell that?” asks a Satanist.

“That’s why we get pissed off because that means that Scotland and England are fucking each other and enjoying it.” says Ireland.

“Well yeah and Harold Loeb got invited to the party. I mean the Jews are there, the Scots are there, the Brits are there…apparently Wales and Wes Anderson are just chilling out…and then we don’t get in on the action…because Lem’s’s not fucking Jack. Lacey‘s not fucking any of us, and it’s not that we’re hurt but we’re hurt and it’s not that we’re hurt it’s just…it’s complicated.” says JP Kennedy. “And maybe Lacey got hurt. And maybe my kids were killed by Lem. And maybe Lem tried to kill Bobby with heroin…and maybe Paul McCartney accidentally made a song about it.”

The Real Slim Shady by Eminem plays.

“Ok so Lacey is in Lem’s bedroom and may have been a Scottish woman. And an English man? So…it’s really that offensive to you? See… That! And she is still. Is herself? Hmm. And…and rich?” The psychic laughs. “Umm…if they’re still not up-“ she winks. “Ahh..why is that so offensive to the Irish?!?” asks an Illuminati psychic.

“Lem and are two separate people and we’re both cis. And I’m a woman and he’s a man.” says Lacey.

“Then I’m wrong. And I’m not wrong, ever.” says the psychic. “And if I’m wrong it’s ONLY in a way that will harm you, Lacey. Or children. Or me, if I’m innocent.”

Satan cheers for the Illuminati psychic to fail at existence and go to Hell.

“It might have something to do with the Kennedys.” says JP Kennedy.

“So their nerves were literally totally frayed by the time they were in high school? And that’s how stressful their lives were growing-up and they both ended-up at UND in Tri Delta and then Lacey left because she was afraid that she’d become evil…and yet that woman stayed and hopefully is OK…because that’s the rough nature of the American class system.” says a British historian. “Because as JP said himself it’s not what you are…it’s what people think you are that matters in America…or so he should have added. He just probably said it’s not what you are it’s what people think you are that matters…and then he started World War II. But if you add at the end America then he’s right, …but I’m not sure if he was that intelligent in that way.”

“See the problem is you’re expecting Lacey to read people’s minds for you to acknowledge that she exists and that’s impossible. Even if you’re psychic you can’t read every thought in someone’s mind…I think some of you think that you can…but you can’t actually do that. Even the best psychics in the world cannot literally read a person’s mind all the time, at least it’s extraordinarily unlikely and part of that is because only God can see into our hearts. The thing is you have her as you know an idiot peasant bitch from Minnesota, and that is not at all who she is or who that other young lady at Tri Delta was, and I highly doubt that she’s changed since Lacey last saw her, it’s possible but it’s unlikely.

Mr. Blue and Mrs. Blue and Batgirl III you were never in Tri Delta at UND and none of you would’ve been accepted there or elsewhere. Not even you Batgirl III. You are rejected there. …THEY SNUB YOU NOW!!

THEY SNUB YOU NOW!

Not even you Mrs. Blue. No. You would’ve never made the cut. They would’ve never let you in or they would’ve been very suspicious of both of you. …Franni with your teeth…and background…they’d of found you too suspicious. …Do you want to have a real grown-up discussion? Or do you wanna just keep shitting on the world and claiming survival of the fittest! ‘Go big green!’” says a British historian.

“Good! Good riddance to rubbish! We are the moral-Somethings…superior. …Superior isn’t even a word…we’re…so…superior.” says Notre Dame.

“My neighbor’s daughter went to Notre Dame. It’s not that great of a school, but it is an elite school. Is there a reason you’re so insecure and touchy?” asks Lacey.

Notre Dame shakes. “That neighbor moved and you just called him a neighbor because you thought if you said former neighbor that I think you were schizophrenic…even though that makes no sense. I’m really funny you should wanna fuck me. I’m sure you do. I’m really funny.” says Notre Dame. “And actually technically you could be a schizophrenic. Except then that would mean that my school shouldn’t accredited because there’s no way that that’s possible according to medical science and all that stuff that really mean something…so then I’m basically arguing that my school shouldn’t exist right now to the Illuminati and I’m just going to shut-up.”

“Wow! I think we can assuredly say that Notre Dame is not for ‘the jab’! No! They don’t do ‘the jab’! No! No! No!!” says Lacey mockingly of Notre Dame.

Space Song by Beach House plays.

“I do not want to fuck you…and I have no idea what you’re talking about. You sound psychotic. I’m sorry, you’re very confused.” says Lacey sincerely to Wobbly.

“I think Irish women with big teeth and stringy hair and an odd tits or two…are hot as fuck! And the truth is…that says-it’s just that…we rock the fucking shit out of you!” says Batgirl III yelling, drunk and slurring.

“Yeah, Lacey and the other young women from Tri Delta could hold their liquor. They could probably come close to killing themselves and you still wouldn’t even know they’d been drinking, genuinely.” says Thomas Banks.

“OK so you guys are different in that way, that’s not most people.” says Donald Trump.

“Yeah, that’s true. Well, she had a blood alcohol level in college that was higher than anyone in the entire party and she literally felt nothing. She counseled someone very logically, rationally. Called me-she could probably die-she’s not going to-“. He takes a deep breath. “But she could probably die of alcohol poisoning before she’d get drunk, like I just said. She doesn’t really get drunk and it’s possible she’s too intelligent to.” says Thomas Banks.

“Do you know not all Black people are godly just by virtue of being black.” says Zelda Fitzgerald.

“And not all Irish people are street-trash whores like Mr. Blue and his Bat Crew.” says Louis.

“I’m straight culture. I’m like a Baroness, bitch!” says Erin, still drunk.

“Except then that’s like highbrow culture you mean Erin?” asks Lacey.

“No!! WE don’t call it that now.” says Erin.

As Time Goes By by Billie Holiday plays.

“My father wrote that song. It was written for my mother in 1972.” says Erin. “Of course the truth is who gives a shit about any of that because there is nothing-There is no such thing as inherited generational wealth or old money. It’s just what you got in your pocket right now…and I’ve got a whole lotta pocket.” says Erin pulling out the fabric of her pockets. She is still drunk.

“Erin what the fuck was you thinking?” asks a Crip Top II.

“It’s an exclusive bar in…Manhat-tan. …Upper East Side. …I spread my legs…smell my own juice…and then think…’Gee! Gee whiz. This is my second time here. It’s my home!’” she says.

“Like you own it?!” asks the actual bar owner.

“Oh shut-up! I buy alot here! And it’s so expensive that I can’t argue in my own mind that I don’t.” she says. “I pen-I pen for the-I-“ She can’t talk. She blinks. “I think I own YOU!”

“But you actually don’t.” says the bar owner.

“Ahh…this is awkward!” says Erin. She belches loudly.

“How is it awkward?” asks the bar owner.

She rips open her shirt and froths at the mouth as she flashes her tits.

“I’m going to have to call the police and have you arrested for indecent exposure if you don’t leave the bar and never come back.“ says the owner.

“Yeah…right! Buddy…you know you’ve got a hard-on it. Cuz’ I’m the hottest piece of shit in the world.” says Erin laughing through her nose. She stands-up and starts dancing badly.

“Just take her out of the bar!” the owner says to two bouncers, who then carry Erin out of the bar where she is detained until the police can escort her away.

“Her boss finds out and she is given a genuine reprimand if her boss has any sense…but in reality, no bar owner is likely to be quite that shrewd anymore in America. And in reality her boss even if you called him would just think it was funny. Because he is a middle class dumbass? And he has no clue what he’s doing being elite?” says a Banks from the 1700’s.

More later.

“What are you doing to her brain? It’s like there’s dysfunctional waves and she’s not schizophrenic but it’s like she’s not able to process her own thoughts in a normal way so she has to process things in her spirit primarily. Which is actually very dangerous for the Illuminati because they have no way of guaranteeing that she’s not actually a British aristocrat from the 1800’s and that might not seem like a big deal but if you understood who the British aristocrats where in the world at that time…you might think differently about it.” says a Notre Dame graduate with Irish heritage.

“What if she’s not a British aristocrat reincarnated?” asks Floris.

“That’s not a big deal necessarily. Oh that would mean it is just that ‘me being a British aristocrat’ is code for, ‘Uh Oh. You shouldn’t be forcing me to process things outside of my brain. ‘“ says Lacey.

“No that’s a good way to torture someone! I like that. I like the idea. I don’t see why that’s a problem. Where are the Illuminati! Haven’t you seen The Shining?! Haven’t you seen Eyes Wide Shut? I watch those movies, that’s who I am. I’m really proud of myself.” says the evil Illuminati.

“Because it’s a spirit. First of all, I matter but second of all it’s a spirit. …It’s both that I’m matter and then it’s that I’m talking to my own spirit. It’s not a higher self. It’s more like I’m talking in my dead mind.” says Lacey.

“Well, I don’t give two shits. I think Erin’s hot!” says Senator Al Franken.

“Does she look like the woman below?” asks an Englishman

“To be honest, you people are insane. Lacey is extraordinarily beautiful here and you don’t hold a fucking candle to her, her cheekbones her face or any part of your body. You’re total shit compared to her. And I can say that because I examine people, I’m a model like I’m a professional…and I can tell you that she’s right, she doesn’t photograph well, but the angles of your face, your proportions everything about you that I’m sure you’ve analyzed to death to try to seem superior in your own mind will never equal Lacey’s. Not in this life. Umm…maybe in Heaven…maybe another life but right now, sweetie you’re ugly-as-fuck compared to her and that’s just reality.” says a network of modeling agencies in Manhattan. “So is that poor bitch Casi and Nancy. Those women are delusional. I can tell they’re trying to imitate not just Lacey but lots of other people and I honestly don’t think their brains can cognitively handle the reality of who they are…and next we’re going to talk about that in a real grown-up way that’s not being monitored by Mr. Blue in the back row from the slums.” says a model.

“What about there?” asks Lem.

“No that’s an awful picture of her face for the most part although you can see her breasts fairly well as far as the top part goes-fairly well- You have quite the sense of humor, Lem.” says the model.

“This is the actual shape of her face to some degree. She was actually even prettier than this, but she has an exquisite shaped face, and I would not be surprised if Jack Kennedy himself has been obscuring every single picture out of hatred for himself that he was not straight for me that I was and for Lacey for existing at all.” says Lem.

“Lacey is far more beautiful than this. And she looks pretty here…but her face looks like it’s been obscured in this photo. The following picture is more accurate.” says Lem.

“I can tell!” says the model.

“Yeah! I noticed that. I really did! Her pictures looked weird!” says a college roommate. “I actually kind of bullied her with it.”

Later.

“That ring cost $10,000 and the scar you see above the ring is when she almost died when she knocked her hand into a wall and prayed to die.” says a literal drunken Irishman. “It cost $10,000 in 2010 get a grip you fucking idiot.”

“The ring above was just one diamond with two trapezoid diamonds on the side. This one is clustered with one center diamond. This is worth tens of thousands to whatever. I’m not gonna say how much it was worth. It scares me to tell you…but I love you…tell you something, that’s the ring that she still owns.” he says. “I’ll be back.”

“Here’s a photo of her eyes and smile that don’t look like shit. She was prettier than this in person but I like this picture and so does she.” says that literal drunken Irishman.

“Now this ring is a platinum single solitaire with two diamonds on the sides from the 1930’s worth another $6 to $10,000 like the other ring that got flushed down the toilet in the first picture. This one was thrown into the ocean in one of the worst parts of the Puget Sound. A pier where people pee off the pier when they’re drunk. I’ll let you think the rest through for yourself.” he says.

“I mean Lacey could be an innocent pure person, but I doubt it! Just look at her hideous mean face!” says Mr. Blue sincerely as he’s been saying since 2016.

“Umm..I don’t really know how her face looks mean.” says the model.

“Her face is prettier than this. I can tell again that the camera likes to smash her face on the sides, or on the ends. The camera smashes her features. That’s not what she looks like. Sometimes the camera cuts off her chin, or the back of her chin near her neck.“ says the agency.

“OK fine maybe I did that to try to get her to get her to kill herself because why can’t the fuck I be her and have Lem in love with me? What the fuck is up with that!?! It’s so mean!” says JFK.

“And here is the pride of the nations that never was, the hottest Irishman from Boston to ever live. Sorry, Jack. Joe Kennedy, Junior.” says the drunken Irishman inquisitively.

“Casi, darling, your brain doesn’t look like this, and there was a very brief moment in time where there was a professor who went to Kings College, who was in love with her to some degree, and that’s the only period in time where she’s ever been able to take a picture of herself that looks somewhat normal.” says the drunken Irishman. “Jack superimposed himself as a ghost in front of the camera in almost all her photos. They understood that in 1800’s and they don’t as much now. The following is an estimation of what she actually looks like and actually does still look like but aged. The picture where she’s wearing the Barbour zip coat is a pretty decent picture of her except she has a weird look on her face. Good night.”

More later.

“Nevermind, some asshole screwed-up that algorithm so here’s a better picture of her. I’m going to punch in the face whoever made us so she can’t put a new picture on this damn website.” says a drunken Irishwoman.

“That’s Mark her ex-husband‘s formal dining room at his family’s estate in Swickley, Pennsylvania in 2010 before they sold that house and bought a bigger one in Maryland. And I bet you that the inside of the Kennedy mansion has never looked this nice, and that that’s part of what really ticks him off. They say Lem was into interior decorating, but if Jack was the one who was actually gay, is that even true? What did Lem just intuit that he should be? Was it because Jack actually wished he could be good at it, but was shit because he was raised in the gutter?! …I am Irishman…I’m drunk…I’m in Dublin…and I’m a ghost. And I have far better sense of things. I would never do that to a living person, thank God.” says a drunken Irishman.

“And now we’re going to talk about social class in an adult way. For real.” says Sinead.

“Casi is stuck. The truth is I can’t understand it either. Where is that model who can explain it to us?” asks George Peppard.

“OK so you you were in Breakfast At Tiffany’s?” says that model.

“Yes, I was I was the male lead and if you’re looking for a man that resembles Lem in real life it’s that character. And if you’re looking for a character in a movie, who looks like Lem psychologically when it comes to love, not how he chooses to live his life because Lem was never a kept man. Well maybe he could’ve been in another time and place, but if you’re looking for a character who actually is somewhat like Lem Billings was in reality look no further. It would be my character that’s who Lem actually is and it kind of makes you wonder if Truman Capote, Truman Capote knew that Lem was straight.” says George.

“Is Lacey like Holly Gologhtly or not? Is that why it pissed you off when they cast Audrey, Truman? We’re getting totally off-topic but I’d love to know a little more.” says a professor.

“Lacey is incredibly sexy and sensual. I was mostly straight, but not completely. If you know what I mean…do you catch my drift? I was mostly gay, but not completely. I may have actually slept in a sexual sense with Babe Paley. Many assumed nothing happened but you don’t know that, you really don’t know. You never know…we might have had hot sex every once in a while and then we covered up for it with my homosexuality…and no one ever knew. I don’t even know if her husband knew. I think he might’ve kind of known the truth. I did have a few tells.

The way I would drink around her, the way that I sit around her didn’t seem gay to her husband because he slept with her and he just had a sense that I had too or I am making that up but the truth is umm…it’s possible that Lacey is Holly Golightly in a sense.” Truman Capote sighs. “The thing is I may have gotten it wrong. I’m not completely convinced that Lacey is Holly Golightly at all. I had a sense of who Lem could love, but I didn’t know, and now that the Illuminati is trying to suffocate Lacey because Bobby is queer, potentially, and Jack is a sadistic freak in Purgatory enabled by the Illuminati to destroy himself and children, I regret a great many things about that film.”

After Lacey has a horrific conversation with a child being held hostage who’s being sadistically impregnated…Lacey worries. Later the woman and her child are hopefully in Heaven.

“Why can’t they leave teens alone?” asks Ron Craft’s grandson. “I shot myself in the head and died. I’m dead!”

The Trench Coat Mafia walks down the halls of high schools with their victims all dressed in trench coats. They’re all holding military rifles.

Jacob Wetterling cocks a pistol. “Hi!” he says. He waves.

Honey Honey by Feist plays.

“We’re watching you.” Dylan says with a smirk. “If I went insane…or was mad at birth…and I’m in Purgatory…I control the guns. And my team of experts…tells me who to target.” he says, happily. “It’s…GLORIOUS.”

“His experts are his victims.” says one of his victims.

They stalk…evil….people.

“I pray for children held hostage. Sometimes in the Green-Hart Nazi Holocaust…kids need guns.” he says.

Sour Times by Portishead plays.

“To be honest, she is the one leading the Holocaust we’re the victims. We really are always trying to work through things that are difficult.” says Wobbly. “I’m not saying to shoot me. I’m not. I’m just saying…don’t shoot anybody.”

He thinks.

“Why didn’t David just shoot himself? Really, why did he have to do heroin on his way out? I don’t want him to shoot himself or whatever no I mean cocaine-but but why didn’t he just do that? Why didn’t he just shoot himself? I don’t get it. I think that would’ve been more honorable. I mean my ex-wife hung herself and honestly if they’re dating in Purgatory…that’s not fair you know Michael ran into a tree…Bobby hung himself…David overdosed on drugs…and and then here I am alive. And I am happy about that.

But I’m just saying, bro I know Mary is dating my brothers…and back then David was handsome. I didn’t even like Michael. But he was handsome and I’m not there. I have no idea what’s going on. I’m not saying I’m mad but I’m just saying it’s really aggravating to think that Mary could be going out on dates with Michael or on dates with David getting ice cream and I’m not there to say squat about our marriage. Mary hung herself but I doubt she understands that it’s over between us. So…Mary…it’s over…I’m leaving you and you just you need to understand that before you go on a date with Dave and or Michael.” says Wobbly.

“We’re not planning to kill you Wobbly…not yet. We’re watching you…but you’re not on our list. I’m sorry if there’s an Illuminati in your stocking. Lacey? Trying to suffocate her all the time? You can always ask God to kill you. Do you have time to pray? You’re not a child hostage.” says Dylan Kleebold.

Heaven Can Wait by Charlotte Gainsborough plays.

“I shot myself in the head. OK? You targeted my cousin for sacrifice or she accidentally found you and then I shot myself in the head. But you can’t catch me now. …You can’t control me…and I know a lot about what it’s like to die from a head injury, and I actually died, so just keep that in mind” says Ron’s grandson. “I would never hurt an innocent person unless if they were in a holocaust and they were being sadistically tortured and they were far better off being where I am through salvation in Christ.” he says.

“So…you found Tom Banks’s daughter.” says a black woman laughing.

And at that Joe Kennedy Senior comes through Lacey’s brain with a very thick Boston accent that the Illuminati can hear if they exist.

I’ve Got a Gal in Kalamazoo as sang by The Andrews Sisters plays.

“We were going to talk about social class and things got diverted, possibly to help a child who is struggling but I am lost. What what what was the topic supposed to be about? We were going to empathize with people who are stuck like Casi. So have that conversation.

Casi is stuck. She’ll never be able to buy a $50,000 emerald even though Lacey could, very easily, just have to be sure he has.” says Lem.

“And that’s why I love torturing Lacey.” says Mr. Blue.

“But what about Divine Right of Kings?” asks the Illuminati.

“ we’re always right we’re never wrong and that we know everything so we’re the experts on things that are in style now are always more in style and anything that ever exist. People that are alive now it was more brilliant and beautiful than anyone ever and awfully much we’re just perfect as much as anything is ever been perfect and imperfect world cell, he knows the pollution but it’s Charles Darwin’s version of it where you know all things are always evolving in a positive way at a perfect speed and killing someone like Lacey is just fine it’s just good fun.” says the They in the Illuminati. “ I mean torturing her you know and all that stuff and it’s just you know it’s a victory for Satanism and I’m Satan loves us. We’re sure we talk to him he hears and you know he would never lie because he’s a misunderstood and we’re dating him, and he is just the greatest so we’re just the experts and we’re really cool and everything’s fine.”

“ let me guess you guys could blow up her and her family but you’re too chickenshit and it’s too complicated is that correct??” asks M6.

Lord Mountbatten laughs with Lacey.

“ i’m sorry I think you’re boring the English who really do worship God I think they’re bored. Why can’t you just blow up on her and her family what is so difficult about that?!” says Lem’s grandmother.

“ why can’t Dylan Klebold do it?” asks George Soros, half seriously.

Michael Rockefeller yawns. “Sorry! No he’s just he can’t he’s very busy there very busy and honestly he just can’t but he is working on it. I mean Linn was telling her last night that he’s trying to think of a way to do it and that may actually have been how Dylan came on the blog that he’s been talking to him about different possibilities of how he could bring them to the other side affectively We’re really sick of dealing with the illuminati. We really are.”

“ put in the thing is she’d have to start killing all of her children so like hundreds of thousands of children that are being held hostage would have to suddenly die and that’s some thing that we have people working on but it’s going to be an intense strategy and it’s going to require an incredible amount of anxiety and hatred, potentially or we’re gonna have to find someway to kill them all in their sleep I mean those are just a few of the options we have others but basically you’re asking for the impossible you guys should be able to do it yourselves we shouldn’t have to do everything in purgatory I mean what is the point of all of your lives you just sit around picking your nose and eating shit all the time? And when I say, do it yourselves, I don’t mean you know, torturing them I mean point blank, shooting. Everyone in her family are blowing them up no trace instant death. And don’t say instant gratification I mean you guys are just idiots that you think that a woman who’s fighting for her life and doesn’t really wanna die, but has been pushed to suicide by people like you is looking for instant gratification at death that’s sick.” says Dylan Kleebold. “ it’s still death like you didn’t conquer death Jesus did Lacey didn’t I didn’t it’s still death at in Christ we may have but it’s in Christ not us as individuals and it still exists so it’s possible that if you’re a Christian in a world that is falling into absolute turmoil and decay things to Mr. blue and the bat crew, and the people supporting them in the illuminati, you maybe would rather be dead if you were a Christian but then that’s where you have to obey God and not die until it’s your time to die.” says Dylan. “ if you’re a 15 year old who is being held hostage brutally molested since you were three kidnapped at age 3 by the illuminati and you’re suddenly pregnant for the first time at 15 and you know that you’re gonna be horribly tortured and so is your kid and not gonna be able to do anything about it you might decide to shoot yourself in the face if you can’t get anyone to shoot you, I mean I would do it but I’m dead. Do you have a sense of pattern like that you suck shit and that you guys probably don’t even understand what that means you just feel sorry for yourself when you hear that do you know how to fix things guys or is it just that like you’re really that mentally unstable and incompetent?”

“here’s a real newsflash for you. I worry that Lacey’s illegitimate. I worry that she’s like a warning valve for older generations such as my own that you kids really are morbidly incompetent and you can say oh because global warming yeah we did but you’re the ones that caused the situation in the illuminati right now with the woman who’s trying to live a normal life and you can’t let her, because it cannot possibly be me I can’t let go of the fact that she’s rich you know what I would tell myself to get over it I say I don’t know she might think I’m kind of cute and the truth is she would again too she think I’m kind of cute and that would be enough for my ego to pardon her and move on. Why isn’t that enough for you Mr. blue? What do you need to be able to MoveOn? What do you need Aaron and that you know Mrs. blue to move on nothing seems to ever be good enough for you people.” says George Soros.

“ no and don’t use the argument. Well, George will never marry Lacey that’s total total BS I married my secretary, Lacey could’ve easily married someone far higher socially than her husband you got it all upside down. The truth is if she met you Mr. blue you would’ve seemed like a peasant to her, not the other way around and that’s what you’re really upset about.” says Louis.

“ yeah that’s that’s true Louis so what is it that by Mr. blue wants from the situation does he want more money yet? You seem like a dumb peasant sweetie who doesn’t really know how to handle his liquor or his gun.” George Soros says Mr. Blue.

“ I really just feel like I’m in the right I just look, I feel like there’s an incredible pause satanic and Christian moral impetus that just allows me to be incredibly filled with glory and strength of the entity in the situation.” says Mr. Blue.

“ are you sure you’re not just an angry peasant who can’t handle his gun or his liquor?” George Soros asks Mr. Blue.

“ you guys handled me as I was reading her I take credit for the fact that I obviously am not psychologically capable of handling what I did, but I was not the one that gave myself all these grandiose delusions, entirely or was I?” asks Mr. Blue.

“ I think the irritates me is that she’s not an idiot. She understands that a 15-year-old child he’s being held hostage has very likelihood of ever being taking seriously as a human by any of you you don’t even take Lacey seriously even though having World War III a pandemic, you refuse to admit that you’re wrong, and so in her mind on top of all that she’s not gonna let her 15-year-old child. The baby be brutally tortured their whole lives like animals at the hands of people who are sadistic freaks. And that’s the problem. It’ll be wonderful. If she could trust that book you know 15 year old could be on birth control have an abortion, but it’s not even that hopeful because it’s likely that her captors would never let her have an abortion or even be on birth control will find some other way to try to torture her and never use her to torture other kids, and that’s it that’s it that’s the thing we’re gonna do is put these kids on drug trips. No you people are treating these kids like animals because you are diluted into thinking that evil is good and then that’s where it becomes scary to me as a theologian, because tell me abortion became good so my birth control became good, and then what became even best murdering a teenager, or hoping that she commit suicide do you guys realize you are making the end times come to fruition do you believe in end times theology secretly if so, you people are totally useless intellectually you’re not Sadeness your peasant fucking idiots.” says James Dobson.

“ hi I don’t want to talk about what it is that I want.” says Mr. Blue.

“ what is it that you want?” asks Ron Craft.

“ what would happen if all of those state in us that are really wealthy, didn’t let you be a Satanist, because they told you that you were cognitively in capable of being one.” says Lacey.

“ are you guys like physically trying to crush her?” asks Louis.

“Yeah! So how is that not us winning?” asks Wobbly.

Princess Diana laughs at Wobbly. Then glares at him.

“ are OK so Satan‘s intimidated by a lot of people who are Christians Lacey is one of them because he worries and that he might actually be wrong about humanity and that we really weren’t him correct and that humans were just all of mistake.” says a demon.

“ Joe you would’ve bought that ring from Bentley and Skinner for $11,000. It wasn’t 10 in 2010 I don’t know how much it would’ve cost in 1940 something and you would’ve done work in London and had an affair with Pat. Why did you blow yourself up” asks Wobbly.

“ I don’t think people realize what’s going on and they’re trying to find some excuse for why God is somehow weak but that’s insane. Lacey is 40 you’ve been trying to kill her for seven years sadistically every day the world is falling apart Wobbly’s we’re having a pandemic and World War III, the world is on fire things are happening that are really serious and she’s still alive and she’s explaining everything on a blog there’s no legal recourse without destroying the first amendment and a lot of other things like everyone’s reputation because if we acknowledge her, we have to admit that everything she saying is true. All of our names are there and if we mess with it will probably be blonde to smithereens and end up in hell, so essentially, she has us by our throats and Mr. blue still can’t understand that he literally cognitively doesn’t understand.” says a black actress from And Just Like That.

“ you’re causing her body incredible anxiety that will never kill her so you’re just literally statistically torturing her for your ego.” says God.

“ I am trying to suffocate her myself right now and it’s not working literally I guarantee you I am trying to suffocate her body myself and I can’t do it you’re conjuring me every fucking time at this point what the fuck do you think I’m so obsessed with this woman woman for, but I have to do it for you with my whole establishment falls apart.” says Satan.

“ and yet you’re still not able to kill her Satan?” asks God.

“ no of course I’m not you know that you know I can’t if you just if you stopped me I probably have never try this hard with almost anyone other than a few people and I keep trying to reason with them to get them to understand that but these stupid fucking humans that you created are too dumb to press we hold a pencil anymore.” says Satan.

”you know what we do in situations like this we fuck them, and then burn off her bodies and put them in a cave.” says Wobbly trying to imitate the voice of God.

“ You literally we have literally got her gasping for air and there’s no scientific explanation other than us if she dies people are going to know fucking truth Wobbly’s that you killed her or that I did you are people are going to know they already do she has people reading her blog There are people reading her book and they’re mine subconsciously.” says Jenna Fisher.

“ so I am a witch and a coven that Lacey contacted in like April or May to try to breathe in the deal she made was that she could breathe if you guys left her alone and then just blew her up in July or August she’s like I don’t know what the deal is if that if it’s my time to go they they need to just blow me up with my kids and my husband and give us six months four months of of life that idea was like anytime from July to probably the end of the year or you could’ve just blowing her up and she would’ve kept her mouth shut about a lot of stuff in a good way, but you’ve been trying to suffocate her now again and you have blowing her up and honestly I’m just appointed and all of you for the first couple weeks. She could breathe perfectly fine that first night it was glorious all the air she got in her lungs.” says the witch.

“ what bothers you, Mr. blue is your sexual fixation with her she was never in love with you. You would think that you were Michael Rockefeller you impersonating my son to get your job. And I dare you to go ask the Rockefeller right now to suffocate her in your honor and my sons honor if they would do that they’re not my family and they’re pieces of shit that use our name.” says Nelson Rockefeller.

“ OK so here’s the scoop. I think Chris is just psychotically obsessed with the thought that he’s superior because he’s in the illuminati and whether other people want to kill me now or not evil does have his limits a Morning you will see what happens and I am basically Mr. blue, I feel like time is out for people like you because really you’re just bitter and so it’s time for it that you’re just bourgeois cutter shit and if there’s no way out no matter how many movies or perfumes you make or pants yourself you’re just a realtor son, and a poor kid from a poor city who likes to imitate someone on TV and channel Michael Rockefeller no matter how many drugs you do in a matter how many people you kill for your ego you’re just got her shit and then you die got her shit and go to hell which really should be enough for you to just I don’t know kill yourselves or get a clue, but that’s not how things have gone so far.”’says JD Rockefeller.

“ you guys do realize that by challenging me, you’ve destroyed the news there’s literally too much news going on to genuinely cover all of the news.” says Lem.

“so on that note Mr. blue since you loved imitating Michael Rockefeller, and other men like him, would you like to know what’s going on in Russia I can tell you I’ve been there many times just quickly in the past I go in the past it’s complicated I’m dead don’t worry about it. Would you like to know what’s going on?” says Bevans.

“ I think Lacey has a weird smile and there’s so much gap between her nose and her teeth, right?” says Kate Moss.

“ no actually Kate moss you look like a pig compared to Lacey.” says Nelson Rockefeller.

“ that’s true I completely agree I’m still hotter than like 98% of women alive but she’s right I actually think that’s true but she really is that unusually beautiful. You know if you stare at my face too long I look ugly too and I’m not.” says Kate Moss.

“ what I want is for there to be peace and love in the world and for every child to never go hungry again.” says Mr. Blue sincerely.

Later.

“I demand that the Illuminati acknowledge the power of Jesus. As long anything I’ve ever touched exists…He is being held high above all by me personally. …Anything I’ve ever touched.” says Lacey.

“Okay…we’d had to blow-up all of Europe. All of the Caribbean. All of the US. All of Africa. All of Malaysia. All of the British Isles. Everything.” says Putin.

“I was thinking that might give Mr. Blue his wish.” says Lacey.

Woody Allen shrugs.

“She’s serious about worshiping Jesus though.” says Woody Allen.

“True.” says Lacey.

“Why couldn’t you guys just abuse kids like Woody Allen? Why did you have to ruin being alive?” says a reader.

Sexy Fuck by Contrast plays.

“Because…it’s not good enough.” says a Satanist. “It is too…normal.”

“What’s wrong with normal?!?” asks a reader.

“It’s not evil enough.” says the Satanist.

“Enough?! Isn’t that a Christian thing?” asks a reader.

“Maybe I just like going overboard.” says the Satanist.

“Well…that’s…not a problem then. Are you positive Hell is safe?” asks the reader.

“No.” says the Satanist.

“Then your religion is insane.” says the reader.

“When are we going to die?!? Can Putin please just blow us up?!?!” say 80% of all Americans.

“He can’t. Sorry!!” says Russia. “Maybe later. Don’t worry. We know you hate your fake government.”

Later.

“Goodnight!!” says Lem.