Katrina, Be Careful

“And why doesn’t Lacey‘s family ever post anything to Facebook?” asks a homeless woman in the future.

“They do, they do post stuff!” says a black man.

“Yeah they do, they just don’t generally like Lacey‘s posts anymore.” says the homeless woman.

“Why don’t they like her posts anymore?” asks a black man.

“Well because Lacey isn’t in style in the family. Mark used to but now Mark is dead.” says the homeless woman.

“Sometimes Dennis Anderson does, the one who owns a plane.” says the black man.

“Are they jealous?” asks one of them around her age.

“I doubt it.” says Lacey.

“No, she’s right. Most of us have happy marriages, and are as wealthy as she is if not wealthier.” says one of them.

“Are you sure that you’re wealthier than her?” asks a living Rockefeller.

“Why would we be? She’s beneath us and us inferior compared to all of us and it’s not jealousy speaking, that’s the hand of God.”the Crafts and Nesheims say.

“So you all genuinely think you’re somehow genetically or morally superior to Lacey? Why?” asks Laureen.

“Is it because she married a man who was raised Jewish and converted to Christianity or what is it?“ asks Curt.

“No when she was a little girl, she was too beautiful and it was a sin? Her grandmother caught her spreading her legs once and showing off her underwear in a skirt at age six and that was probably because Lacey was molested, or didn’t understand what she was doing, and just wanted to sit comfortably. But Tonette thought it was hideous. We sided and didn’t side with Tonette.

Now she’s so pretentious. None of us are like that. We’re very down to earth and laid-back and yet also very stuffy and aristocrat, and incredibly condescending. But our condescension is hurtful and effective because we don’t give as much of a fuck about anyone’s feelings because we have an attitude of superiority in our minds rightfully. Lacey actually worries about being offensive to other people, and then she’s so English or something and it’s just weird we don’t like her.” say the Nesheims.

“She’s so English or something?” asks Reta.

“Yes she’s so effeminate and English. Sort of dainty and obsessively stupid? Ahh…no no it’s just really annoying. She’s prettier than everyone and yet she’s so dumb about it.

Linn is extremely beautiful, but she knows that and so our others of us and we know that and we run for Miss North Dakota and we won are we were on television as reporters. We did and do modeling or are actresses. Lacey is better look looking than all of us but it’s funny. It doesn’t mean absolutely anything to her. She’s just so happy and stupid and English about it.” say the Nesheims and Crafts and Estvolds.

“You know Lacey‘s mother told her not to take dance classes as a child and not to do modeling because if she did, she’d be raped and that it was just akin to being en league with the antichrist.” says a homeless woman.

“Well her mother is one of us and Lacey is not so we’ll just have to go from there.” they say primly.

“Is that what you guys have been subconsciously telling her her whole life that she’s not one of you?” asks Mark Nesheim.

“Yes, it is!” says Orma.

“Did we tell her that she was a craft or an Estvold?” asks Noel.

“You know she’d have to be both Noel or there’s something wrong what you’re saying.” says Mark. “The Estvolds are very wealthy now, by the way and they’ve they’ve done very well and there were models in that family as well so that’s not an insult.”

“See now you don’t want her to be an Estvold either do you?” says Steve.

“Ah, maybe and maybe not.” says Noel.

“So we’ve decided that she’s not one of us collectively but we’ve never talked about it and we communicated that to her very cruelly her whole life. I’m gonna ask a question that just seems like a good question to ask. Are we all sensing something that was real?” asks Katie.

“But then she is legally-She was supposed to be one of us. If she is Tom’s daughter, she’s not one of us, but her mother was Norwegian and Becca at least pretends to not realize that so it’s a little weird that we never tried harder to sort of let her be one of us. I mean in a way we did but there’s some part of us that does not like her and I feel like something is a little off. I don’t think it’s a rivalry between the Crafts and the Nesheims. It could be slightly. It could be a slight bit of a rivalry between the Crafts and the Nesheims but I don’t think that’s what it is. That doesn’t really make much sense.” says Mark Nesheim.

“We have lied about social class for the last 10 years to make the Obamas feel upper class but it by doing that it didn’t allow for the reality of the Nesheims and the Crafts and the Estvolds to exist which could be how we lost the US Presidency possibly to Russia ultimately because the Obamas really are far beneath the Nesheims but because of their astronomical rise to power, it doesn’t look like that, and even in Africa, they’re still on par with a Nesheim or beneath them. No, they don’t have any sort of winning ticket socially other than the US Presidency and in the Nesheim family you could say their Harvard law degrees are impressive, but not that impressive. See…you have to put that in context of their backgrounds not just in the Nesheim family but elsewhere and then they lose. And there are people who have Harvard Med degrees in the Nesheims. It’s not maybe as impressive as they’d like it to be to the Nesheims to go to Harvard law school.” explains a Getty.

“I would say that the Obamas are probably still elite, but just not you know, old money, established order elites the way that they’re made out to be. They may be somewhat more akin to the Kennedys, but then that’s not necessarily old money. It’s more almost sort of like an emerging political elite within the elite and in both cases it’s bourgeois new money.” says Lacey.

“Yeah, we were going to talk about something else. It’s interesting how he delved into this instead. Do you want to talk about this now or are we just gonna get to what’s bothering you even more? We keep talking about the Obamas being new money elite in America.” says Lem.

“OK so this morning Lacey was having sex with Lem and we intuited what they were doing and it was shocking to Bill Clinton.” says Bryant Gumble.

“What what did what did Bill Clinton see that he found so shocking?” asks a Norwegian.

“Nothing, just that Lem was in his apartment in New York City in an elevator and he had her pushed up against the wall and was fucking the shit out of her like a very sexually aroused, lost in passion straight man.” says Bill Clinton.

“That’s not really weird.” says a Nesheim, politely confused.

All the Nesheims stare in confusion.

“No I imagine that some of us have had passionate moments with our spouses as well. It’s not something we choose to talk about openly on a blog, but then again we’re not in her situation.” says Noel.

“Have you guys really been that wild? Yes or no?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“Not necessarily but not that removed. I mean it’s it’s not that it’s not that wild. It’s like they’re in the public. I think it’s far more weird that you’re listening to every thought she has in her head using your psychic abilities that you keep hidden. I’m sure the CIA has access to that knowledge but the American public doesn’t. I think it’s very creepy that you’re doing that. So I mean having the Illuminati attack her is weird, if this blog is accurate and not just a farce. And there might be some disdain there for her father, but not the father who raised her.” says Noel.

“No there are some of us who are Norwegian in the family who are that wild! Norwegians are rather wild and if Lacey’s mother is Norwegian, that makes sense doesn’t it?” says a Paul in the family.

“I was the one that instigated all of that, sincerely.” says Lem.

“So Lacey didn’t even know that you were going to be that wild?!?” asks one of her cousins.

“I think she’s open to it if you must know. And that’s a very intensely personal question that you feel you have you have the right to ask. And this what you guys do to her that repulses me. You expect her to keep putting out for you emotionally and be mature, and then all of you get to be totally imbecilic assholes?” says Reta Banks.

“Of course, she knew on a certain level that it could happen, but she wasn’t anticipating it.” says Lem.

“What’s wrong with being that sexually brilliant?” asks Lacey.

“People get unwed pregnancies, but that would never happen to you.” says Ed Nesheim.

“No it wouldn’t. If that happened to me I would know exactly what I was doing.” says Lacey.

“Well what if someone attacked you, Lacey?” asks a Nesheim condescendingly.

“Why would they be attacking me?! What I said still works, still stands, it still makes sense. I would know exactly what I was doing.” says Lacey.

Noel laughs.

“Why…why was Bill Clinton so shocked by the psychic vision he saw of Lacey and Lem?” asks Dennis of the Nesheims.

“Because it made Lem seem so obviously straight and that was very weird.” says Wobbly.

“You know Wobbly, you take me and my people for idiots. But we’re really not as dumb as you think we are.” says Dennis.

“I would agree with you!” says Jack Schlossberg.

“You seem Jewish to me. Everyone says you look like your uncle but you don’t look that much like your uncle. You look a little bit like him but I think you look more Jewish. When you talk. To me you sound like a Jew first and foremost and it’s almost funny because it’s like why is Harold Loeb trying to explain the Kennedys on Tik Tok?” says Lacey.

“Does he really seem that Jewish?” asks George Soros.

“Yes, it’s refreshing in a way but it’s also weird because he looks vaguely like his uncle, who looked slightly like his grandfather but in all honesty, even though he is genetically, I’m sure JFK‘s grandson, (I would assume)…he he seems more like a Jew, like a very confused, slightly outraged Jew.” says Lacey.

“Yeah…no her husband is Jewish. At least that’s the impression Lacey has and I might’ve had that impression as well.” says Jackie Kennedy.

“Well let’s talk more about what Bill Clinton saw. I have a feeling it really was startling. Do you guys have normal heterosexual sex or not?” asks Dennis of the Nesheims.

“Gunhild I bet you had sex like that with your husband. You had eight kids. I have a feeling you had a very passionate moments with your husband didn’t you?” asks Reta.

“I don’t think there’s anything shameful about it. I think it’s quite healthy and normal for people who are that in love. Why do people not want to understand that? Lem and Lacey really are seemingly soulmates. Swedenborg discussed it and he’s Swedish but he was Scandinavian and he wasn’t an idiot. Some people really are just in love and it’s not shameful if you’re that in love to express it in a Godly, loving way in a marriage.” says Gunhild.

“Why are we even discussing any of this? I think that’s suspicious.” says Casi.

“Ah…suspicious how?” asks Dennis of the Nesheims.

“Umm…I don’t know? Am my intuiting that Lacey had an unwed pregnancy?” scoffs Casi.

“No you might be intuiting that but it’s not what actually happened. For some reason people who are from lower classes have fixated on the fact that Lacey got married in Las Vegas as meaning that she was pregnant but that actually is not…umm…that that is not at all what happened.” says Dennis.

“OK but that but that-When you go to Vegas, that’s just factual evidence that someone was pregnant, right?!?” asks Casi. “That’s not a stretch because that’s what people do. You would never go to Vegas if you weren’t pregnant. I mean, that’s impossible.”

“I was on birth control, and Mark and I were having premarital sex without condoms so in a sense if you believe that birth-control is ineffective and that I was essentially aborting child every month then yes, I may have a child that I aborted through birth control. At least on occasion. And actually a lot of us potentially do have aborted children in Heaven because we were lied to…but other than for birth control difficulties and lies in liberal media, no I was not pregnant at all.” says Lacey.

“I’m sure you’ve asked God to forgive you for those abortions?” asks an Episcopalian.

“I suspect I have. Yes I suspect I have at least once if not on numerous occasions and I just did again right now. I’m not an idiot. I’m sorry I’m not Catholic sucking your cock.” says Lacey to the Pope who was possibly going to ask her in a conceited, hateful and evil way.

“She must be gay!” says a Hispanic construction worker to the Pope.

“Why would she be gay?” the Pope asks.

“Well maybe because I assumed that we had an understanding.” he says.

“What in Hell are we talking about?“ asks the Pope.

“I thought you said there was no Hell and that homosexuality was OK?” asks a Bolivian Catholic Christian woman.

“Did you cause the end of America and World War III by being too liberal?” asks Argentina of the current Pope in 2023.

“It is creepy how much pressure they put on us to be liberal and conform. It’s fascist. They’re facists, rapists and child molesters.” says Queen Elizabeth II.

Moments later.

“You know I’m going to let God sort that out with the Pope. So let’s move on.” says Lacey.

“Why do I feel like there’s some animosity about the fact that Jack Schlossberg seems Jewish?” asks Lem.

“It actually is an interesting question to be really honest with you. It might be a rather sore spot in that family because Lacey is right. He does seem somewhat like his uncle but at the end of the day…he seems more like a Jewish New Yorker who just happens to be in the Kennedy family and he can’t quite figure out what is going on with everyone.” says Pete who died on 9/11.

“What do you mean?” asks David Kennedy.

“He really does seem like a New York Jew, like sort of a posh, upper middle to upper class New York, Jew.” says Jackie.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“So who told him to make that video?” asks a white supremacist.

“Lacey thinks it was one of us.” says Smobbly.

“She doesn’t think he would do that on his own?” asks Caroline.

“I wouldn’t think my opinion necessarily mattered?” says Lacey.

“Right! Because I’m gay so she can’t be married for eternity to me!” says Lem sarcastically.

“And Joe is with Pat Wilson…obviously…so then she’s just a stupid woman who doesn’t matter?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“She’s not with Lem. She’s with me.” says Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis sarcastically.

“That’s great, mom.” says Caroline, sincerely.

“I was being sarcastic!” says Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis.

“Uff!” says a Norwegian sincerely. “She’s too lowly!”

“No! She’s never found a woman attractive. Noting has happened between us.” says Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

“So what’s the joke?!?” asks ALL liberal American media, genuinely confused.

“She’s with Lem, he’s not gay.” says Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis.

“You guys we started off this post earlier to make fun of Lacey because apparently they’ve been having enviable hot straight sex, frequently. And wobbly has been trying to get involved in it probably not realizing how unwanted and weird he’s being and then we totally diverted the conversation.” says an Illuminati psychiatrist.

“What if Lacey was supposed to pick up on what Jack Schlossberg said a while ago, and feel that her voice was being represented by him and then they were going to pull the rug out from underneath her and claim to be superior to her for reasons of social class?” asks Humphrey Bogart. “A sort of bait and switch routine like, ‘Yeah, my cousin is running for US President you piece of shit beneath me.’”

“But then we got started started talking about these dumbasses who swim in the lake for a whole fucking hour and it’s like these people are so fucking stubborn pretending to be old money. It’s slang! She’s dumb. When do they quit? And it’s just like we’ve almost got her and then she just acts like a bitch and she falls apart and we win and she doesn’t admit it.” says a Bravo TV Star.

“No there is real old money, they’re just not a part of it and neither are you. I don’t almost fall apart. That’s absurd.” says Lacey.

“Just our of curiosity did Lem get off this morning or did you interrupt him right before he was able to actually orgasm after fucking her in an elevator in reality?” asks a Nesheim.

“They interrupted, interrupted me. They do that all the time when I’m about to actually orgasm, especially Bobby because he thinks that he’s doing an intervention.” says Lem.

The Berges and Nesheims laugh.

“What is what is the intervention Lem?” ask the living Nesheims.

“He seems to believe that it is scientifically impossible in the universe, created by God, or by Satan or Allah or any other deity for me to have a straight sexual experience that ends in an orgasm.” says Lem. “He also seems to believe that it is purely scientifically impossible. I don’t entirely know where he got that impression. I adamantly claim to have never molested him. But he seems to have that fixation.”

“If this is real, I would suggest that Bobby is queer and closeted. And that he doesn’t want to admit that the only person he’s ever loved is Lem Billings and that it’s entirely 100% unrequited. If Lem is straight in other words it is totally unrequited. Has Bobby spent his entire life loving a man who will never and could never love him in any way romantically or sexually at all? Ever?” says Chris Hayes. “Because if that’s true, he’s very sadistic, and he has gotten an enormous amount of pleasure out of hurting women, and I think that he’s too dumb to realize that he based all of that narcissistic pleasure on a faulty premise.”

“So if that’s true, you’ve been hurting women your whole life secretly thinking in your head. ‘I am in love with Lem and he’s in love with me, nanny nanny boo-boo.’” says a perfume hater.

“If that’s what I thought then yes I have been secretly very conceited about my hidden Satanic sex plan to be in love with Lem after I die.” says Wobbly.

“I bet it sounds stupid saying it out loud doesn’t it?” says Casi.

“No it doesn’t sound stupid saying it out loud. It’s just obvious that Lem is in love with me.” says Wobbly.

“Did you know Lem that Bobby thought that you guys were in love?” asks Dennis of the Nesheims. “Because I have a feeling that you have actually married Lacey off to Louis, Harold, Michael or Lem for eternity. I repeat: for eternity. But I don’t think that the Illuminati is necessarily, I’m sorry to say this, cognitively capable of understanding that. Lacey probably brilliantly understands that those marriages could be real because she was raised by us and she’s also a different sort of person than all or most of you, seemingly. And I sound snobby, sorry.

And I bet she understands what’s going on st times and you guys think that it’s stupid that she’s taking things so seriously don’t you? You think it’s really dumb! But I’m not sure that it is. She may be confused and you may be trying to find some way to get at her but I have a feeling it’s not in a way that almost any of you understand. It’s probably more generational than a lot of Boomers want to comprehend.

Was dad a sex addict and mom an idiot??!?” he laughs and says. “No but they were different than us. And that’s scary to contemplate isn’t it? Are we evolving in some evil way? Did someone do something to us or did the Boomers just have an unhealthy fixation with her parent’s sexuality as evidenced in the possibly totally erroneous television series Mad Men?” asks Dennis of the Nesheims.

“Yeah, I would say that Mad Men is mid when it comes to understanding the Greatest Generation sexuality. I don’t know if anyone’s ever pointed that out before, but I have a feeling that it’s a very Boomer, bourgeois, liberal understanding of the Greatest Generation’s sexuality.” says King Charles.

“Yeah, I agree with King Charles and I begrudgingly also agree with the Nesheims.” say most American Hispanics.

“Do you actually agree with them or did Hispanics just try to make nice with Lacey thinking they can win and make nice with King Charles thinking they can still win? Spain lost. The climate is very different in North America than in South America. It’s possible these people are like the overlords in your original countries, but white.” says George Soros.

“No, they’re idiots compared to us.” says Ché.

“All white people are idiots compared to you guys even though you’re all poor for the most part?” asks George Soros. “There really are no purely Hispanic, old money families in the United States. Potentially at all. There might be a few Spanish families, possibly, but that would be a stretch.”

“And yet you all think you’re better than us. You guys really do! You have an attitude of superiority. I have never met a Hispanic that doesn’t have an attitude where they didn’t think they were genuinely superior secretly somewhere. You guys are all like that.” says Candice Owens. “Where are you guys superior? You lost to England. South America is in ruins. Where did you guys win? Or are you all just idiot Irish people who are darker?”

Ché pretends to cry and act panicked for sympathy points.

“This is why you don’t assume that she’s interested in you Ché! The actor or actress whatever they prefer to be called kissed Lacey twice through astral projection and both times it was entirely unwanted. It was totally unwanted on Lacey‘s part. And Lacey‘s made that abundantly clear but the liberal elite still keep prompting that actress or actor to believe that Lacey is interested. And yet the actor or actress themselves still wants to believe that she secretly is in love with them and it’s absolutely absurd and disgusting. She really isn’t acting. Her rejection is real, Ché.

And now that pitiful thespian needs to explain how their entire race isn’t inferior and they’re not able to do it.” says Carolina Herrera to Ché.

“If I didn’t, what am I sensing from her because I can sense that she’s smiling at me.” says Ché.

“That would just be a smile Che. She’s a very loving, genuinely caring person and you’re interrogating her brain…you’re going to notice that it’s just part of her personality and she’s just that nice…it’s not sexual that’s conceited to assume that it is.” says Carolina Hererra.

“And the minute that this woman who pretends to be Carolina Herrera says conceited?! Bingo! We can tell that it’s all bullshit. Kids…that’s our sign. …Because there’s no fucking way we’re conceited. No…that’s impossible, my fellow students of life!” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“I mean that’s true. We’re the Kennedys. We’re the actual Kennedys and there’s no way we could be conceited.” says Caroline, sincerely.

“You know if you guys believe that Lem wasn’t gay and that what you were seeing was real every time they have sex and didn’t rely on Lacey to be your guide like she’s a man could you maybe not be making total assholes of your of yourselves and each other?” asks Noel of the Nesheims.

Later.

“Umm…are the Hispanics an inferior race for real this time guys?” asks Candice Owens sincerely and with worry.

“Listen, I’m not saying that I agree with her but I understand why she’s asking the question and it’s actually a very scholarly astute, tragic question to be asking at this juncture so be very careful.” says Tucker Carlson.

“If we are, is it really that big of a deal? Is it really that big of a deal?” asks Ché.

“No, in Heaven you would be completely equal, so it wouldn’t really be a problem. It’s just here in the fallen world that it would be a burden.” says Lem.

“So then Shay, you just decided that all Hispanics are inferior retarded humans?” asks a bourgeois Satanist.

“I think her name their name is Ché, not Shay.” says Lacey.

“Hey, could there be people who she’s reading who we think are her?” asks Casi.

“You mean like a dead woman in Minnesota, who may actually have an attraction to me and wishes I would just get a dick but then that’s way too personal and it makes her feel uncomfortable?” asks Ché.

“Yes! How did I get in on that conversation?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah and then you don’t know if there’s non-binary people in Heaven and the person that you’re intuiting it could be like a staunch conservative Baptist, and may be kind of a jerk at times.” says Ché.

“Yes but then Mr. Blue thinks that’s me probably because I read him correctly and he was embarrassed by what I read and so he assumed that I was just lying or I read parts of him that don’t exist because he was channeling someone else and that also isn’t my fault.” says Lacey.

“When you say read, you’re speaking in their terms aren’t you? What you really did was just analyze him and part of it could have been psychic, but it wasn’t intentional or was it?” asks Dennis of the Nesheims.

“I would have to deeply analyze that, and they may not let me.” says Lacey. “I’ll get back to you in just a second.”

A moment later.

“Umm…asking the question the way that you asked it might’ve been evil just so you know. For reasons of survival I may have resorted to using a psychic ability that was latent when I was a child. Would you like me to go into excruciating detail about your fucked-up family that raised me and why I had to resort to my psychic natural abilities to survive or can I just say that?” says Lacey.

“No, I would like to know more!” says Noel, indignantly.

“No, you don’t you really don’t you’re not really a Nesheim genetically and neither is she necessarily but then she’s way above you. Dear…you’re like a dog barking right now.” explains Mark Nesheim.

“My mother didn’t love me, who raised me.” says Lacey. “So there were times where I was in deadly situations where I could’ve either gone insane or died or I had to figure out what was going on and I had no one guiding me the way that a parent guides a child. So I was forced to resort to a psychic ability that either a demon or a ghost told me that I had because I had no other way to survive because people expected me to have parental love.

My cries and pleas for help were seen as bitchy, bullying nonsense. Catty, shrill, stupidity. Weak imbecilic, embarrassing, white trash moaning. And not what they really actually were. They were the cries, and pleas for help of a brilliant old money child who was being beaten.”

“Funny how she can’t say what her parents really were because they’re the only reason we give a damn about her! And funny how she can’t say that she was white trash in other people’s estimations without the Illuminati latching onto that like it’s their last shred of hope to avoid literal Hell for eternity.” says Michael to the Illuminati.

“But then Michael…that means that Satan won?! Right??” asks Satan of Michael sarcastically mocking the Illuminati.

“That can’t be Satan! Satan loves us!! That’s what it says in the Bible.” says Beyoncé in imitation of the Kennedys.

“Ok so does Rose and Jack and Joe’s family m-Ah do we just seem like peasant idiots to you guys right now?” asks Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“I am confused about Lacey‘s family. I am a brilliant blind man who is an expert in everything.” says AJ.

“Are you white AJ?” asks JP.

“I would assume so. I am not sure because I don’t know the context that the Illuminati is providing.” says AJ sincerely.

“If you weren’t blind, would you find Lacey attractive?” asks JP. As in, JP Kennedy.

“I actually maybe did find her attractive and she just isn’t my type.” says AJ.

“You’re blind so you can’t compensate for that quite as much as you pretend to be able to.” says JP Morgan.

“The problem I have with her family is that I don’t understand the context of this oil dilemma.” he says confidently and condescendingly.

Evie goes on edge.

“What oil dilemma are you referring to?” asks Tucker Carlson, laughing.

“I mean, it’s a joke isn’t it?” asks AJ.

“Ah…you still haven’t answered the question. What are you even referring to? What dilemma?” asks Bill Gates, losing his temper.

“I mean they’re broke right?” asks AJ.

“Who is broke? What dilemma? What are you talking about? If you’re speaking to us, you need to be a hell of a lot clearer and far more respectful.” says Tucker Carlson.

“Her family has like a shrimp farm in North Dakota that they found oil on because they’re white trash peasants is what Bill says. He’s my friend, Bill Rhea and that’s facts isn’t it?” asks AJ.

“Are you really that dumb or are they making you sound that way?” asks Ché.

“What difference does it make for me to believe that is true I’m going to assume that it is?” asks AJ.

“Ah no…her family is actually a very elite old money for real.” says Tucker Carlson.

“And is she allowed to say that or do you suffocate her spiritually?” asks AJ.

“They suffocated her spiritually possibly to keep Jack from thinking Lem was straight.” says a demon.

“How could you possibly be reading my blog thinking that I’m making stuff up that’s factually obtainable?” asks Lacey of AJ.

“Well we either aren’t reading your blog and they claim we are and they’re just talking to us subconsciously. Or we’ve disregarded everything stupidly based on what you told us in person years ago.” says AJ.

“Oh well that’s not exactly true. She did say that her family had struck it rich, but then I interpreted that to mean that they were peasants, who struck it rich.” says Bill Rhea.

“I cannot see Lacey using the phrase, ‘Struck it rich!’ as that’s not how she speaks at all. She never has spoken that way.” says AJ.

“You snubbed me! You snubbed all of us!” says Bill Rhea to Lacey.

“You know it’s rather complex and you’re operating on a very non-American system of guilty until proven innocent but you’re not really trying to prove me innocent you’re all operating on this highbred evil version of American and British law with absolutely no chance of any sort of fair outcome possibly for anyone.” says Lacey.

“Why don’t you talk this way in person ever?” asks Bill Rhea.

“Because you would hate it, and violently beat me to death.” says Lacey. “Or at least that’s the gut sense that I have always had.”

“We thought you were evil. A profoundly evil traitor, to Jesus.” says Kim Phipps to Lacey.

“Did you think that? I would have thought that there were people in your administration who thought that. But maybe you thought that too?” asks Lacey.

“You sound so pretentious!” says Kim Phipps.

“Try actually dealing with what I am saying you ugly fake bitch.” says Lacey.

“You’re trying to be funny but it’s not funny.” says Kim Phipps.

“Oh do explain why your majesty.” says Lacey.

“I take it you weren’t evil the way that they presumed, your majesty?” spits Bill Rhea at Lacey.

“I don’t know, you’re the expert in everything. Go ahead. Why don’t you explain?” says Lacey sarcastically.

“We never finished our conversation and then they just threw you into a conversation with women who obviously hated you and you don’t even know why.” says Bill Rhea.

“That’s true! Very good!” says Lacey.

“So we have no idea why they hate you, but seemingly they do. I find that slightly hilarious too to be honest. But that’s a different conversation. And AJ may or may not understand the Nesheim oil is real. It’s frightening. It’s not frightening to them but it’s frightening to a lot of liberals and conservatives.

It’s funny to be honest. We love it as it’s very up our alley.

But that’s old money conservatives like the Rockefellers if there are any Republican Rockefellers. People like that don’t remotely find it scary. We think it’s pretty much par for the course and not a problem. It tends to be liberals of a certain Kennedy persuasion who say, ‘We’re terrified by it!’ and that that goes from Warren Buffett to some degree possibly to Barack Obama. Barack Obama maybe isn’t quite as scared as Warren Buffett himself might be.” says Tucker Carlson. “AJ and Bill, the first thing you have to understand with Lacey when you’re talking with her is that she’s a real woman. Like how they used to be. You know sexy and ‘I’m seducible, but also very prim and withholding and genuinely loyal my husband!’ For real brilliant and good housewives but a little dumb at times too in a lovable endearing way…and she’s not offended by hearing that…because she just knows that’s kind of what she is. And that doesn’t mean she’s white trash, that just means that when you’re talking to her, you have to realize you’re talking to a genius, potentially who’s entirely feminine.”

“That sounds somewhat arousing to me, but not that arousing!” says Warren Buffet.

“Obviously for Lem, if you guys actually are in touch with the what I would call Real Illuminati. Saints in Purgatory. That’s lovely! I don’t know how God has allowed that, but that’s interesting that he allowed her to be with a man who’s dead potentially. I know, but how did that happen? Why was that a necessity for Heaven? Because I feel like that’s sort of pathetic. And because I can’t fathom a woman who is a genius and smarter than me who’s like also sort of stupid without thinking she’s my mom.” says AJ.

“I doubt her living husband was entirely thwarted by that, which is interesting. It’s very complex. So let’s go back to Bill Rhea.” says Tucker Carlson.

“She’s really not an idiot and she’s really not white trash and I think people who are idiots or white trash can’t comprehend that.” says Bill Rhea. “People who are white trash presumably like George Clooney, have a very hard time with what she forces them to recognize about themselves in an honest way, possibly for the first time in their life in decades.”

“Notice you respect Bill and me as equal humans why do you have to decimate her humanity? That’s a sure sign that there’s a massive leak in your own oil wells.” says AJ.

“I want to talk about sex because in all honesty how are we so different? If Lacey can put out for Lem in a way that most straight men alive today only dream of getting from their wives on rare occasions, probably daily for Lem, what went wrong?” asks Bill Rhea.

“Well we have to be careful not to you know hurt ourselves physically, but otherwise yes, it is pretty much every day and it’s not a big deal and there were a decent number of people in that generation who really were like that or would’ve been if they didn’t get pregnant.” says Lem.

“Do you know that makes sense, they were better rested. The food was better then and the world wasn’t as polluted. I can see where their libidos were far higher and then there’s the genetic component that is concerning obviously.” says Bill Gates.

“OK so why did you snub us or what happened?” asks AJ.

“Alright you didn’t seem to understand how offensive your posturing is. Or are you operating under a system of me being innocent until proven guilty or are you operating under a system of me being guilty until proven innocent. Pick one.” says Lacey.

“They rely on every single snub she’s ever received to feel justified in their conclusions about reality don’t they?” asks Evie about the Illuminati They.

“Yes! We would! That’s how you fact check! When we first discovered her poking around, trying to be elite in the Illuminati by discovering us we decided to fact check and we found a lot of information to suggest that we were correct in our hatred of her.” says a reporter for MSNBC.

“She found you guys out of her unique combination of genius and stupidity. That’s all.” says Evie.

“What did you think you’d found?” asks a gay Messiah College graduate.

“What I have said I thought I found for years, what I said I thought I had found at the very beginning. I’ve been incredibly clear about what I thought I had found.” says Lacey. “But since apparently you are confused by the fact that I’m not retarded, I thought I had found a special code used by journalists on Twitter to communicate amongst themselves, without being detected by their human followers.”

“So you thought they were just sort of using a made-up language to sort of communicate with other like nerds?” asks one of Bill Rhea’s friends.

“Yes because they are nerds and people do make up languages all the time to communicate with each other as children. And I mean there’s Harry Potter! Adults love or loved Harry Potter! People nowadays have childish, disgustingly stupid tastes. And they do dumbass things like that as adults thinking they’re super cool. How I Met Your Mother is a piece of shit show but no one realizes that it’s like watching Sesame Street. It’s total fucking shit! Why wouldn’t nerd bitch reporters and other famous assholes have their own stupid, fucking childish language?! If you want me to put it in layman’s terms.” says Lacey.

“So you thought they just had their own secret coded language. What did it look like?” asks Warren Buffet.

“It was fascinating. I thought it was very complex, and that they didn’t realize it, but that it probably had a certain psychic component. At least this is what I remember.

And what did it look like well see I’m so I’m so used to being worried that people will think I was crazy-“ says Lacey.

“Just a second. I think I should be the one to ask her this. Okay?” asks Lem.

Silence.

“What were you doing at the time?” asks Lem.

“I was on Twitter.” says Lacey.

“Were you also on Instagram or Facebook?” asks Lem.

“I was not on Facebook. I was on Instagram briefly before moving to Twitter.” says Lacey.

“But you were mostly on Twitter?” asks Lem.

“Yes, I was mostly on Twitter, you are correct.” says Lacey.

“Yes, you were on Twitter. My goodness, you hate Twitter.” says Lem.

“Yes, I do. I do hate Twitter.“ says Lacey.

“So on crummy ol’ Twitter, they started talking in some stupid code, huh?” says Lem.

“Yes, they did. I thought. I no longer think that. I think it’s fascinating on a linguistic level, but not what I thought.” says Lacey.

“How do they communicate with each other?” asks Lem.

“They seemingly used symbols.” says Lacey.

“And you’re worried about telling too much because you don’t want to get them in trouble in some evil way?” says Lem.

“Yes! And if I go into further detail, it’s essentially like writing a recipe of how to discover the Illuminati for everyone who reads my blog.” says Lacey.

“Did the Nesheim snow there was oil on their land when they first purchased it?” asks AJ.

“They very likely did back in the early 1900’s. 1908, 1902. Yes, they likely knew there was oil on the land. It was just a matter of getting to it.” says Nils of the Nesheims.

“They have a sort of creek on the land that had oil floating on top of it. They could periodically find oil floating, floating on top of the water.” says Gunhild about herself.

“So what did you see?!” Bobby yells at Lem’s wife. He’s drunk.

“I saw images.” says Lacey.

“In your head?! Where?!?” yells AJ at Lacey.

“In a way in my head. But not just in my head.” says Lacey.

AJ loses his temper. So does Bill Rhea. Kim Phipps laughs.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” asks Dr. Lauermann of Lacey.

“Literally what I just said.” says Lacey, patiently.

“So you’re seeing hallucinations?” asks AJ.

“Why would you be? Why would you assume it’s a hallucination? It’s not at all what she is saying. Why did you assume that she’s talking about a hallucination? That is such a class insult and you don’t even realize it.” says Lem.

“She’s try not to explain how we discuss things in the Illuminati because that’s not something that’s appropriate to discuss unless if you join the Freemasons. She accidentally discovered what the Freemasons do at the very top on her own and then you’re expecting her to give you a diagram in vivid detail to be considered a sane, reasonable old money woman.” says a Rockefeller.

“So someone posted a photo of a tree. And then you knew that meant that they were discussing vaginas?” asks Jenna Bush.

“Or rather a hurricane.” says Lem. “And then it said, ‘Hurricane coming.’”

George Clooney laughs.

“And then…she’d gather that there was a conversation between the Bat Crew. And it developed into a pattern. Bat Girl III would post a photo of watermelons and then Mr. Blue would post a photo of hands. Literally. And then Bat Girl III would post a photo of the hurricane ‘coming.’” says Lem.

“I was never that sloppy and obvious!” says Mr. Blue.

“Umm. No. It’s very likely the CIA has checked and actually you were extremely obvious. Your interactions with the Bat Crew were so painfully obvious. I mean if you had clued her in psychically at some point on Instagram, and then she followed you to Twitter to figure out what was going on it would it it just it’s like a logical rational leap to think that what’s going on might have some possible merit in reality. It’s like you talked to her that way and it was weird and she thought she might be insane and then she caught you doing that with one of your mistresses in this code and then she probably saw you at some interview talking about that mistress and it was probably right after you just made love to her on Twitter.” says the CIA.

“So he was really that obvious with his symbols?!?” asks Dr. Lauermann.

“Not every single time, but often enough, so that I could figure out what he was saying and what she was saying to him. It was very ordinary.” says Lacey.

“What are some of the other symbols they used??” asks a white supremacist.

“Yeah. The hurricane was literally one of them. There was a hurricane somewhere in Florida that was used as a symbol for a vagina. They used mayonnaise as a symbol for sexual body secretions. The whole Bat Crew. And they used sandwiches potentially as a symbol for group sex. There was a photo of an old Jewish man, grabbing a young woman’s breasts on a bus that was used as a pedophilic sexual interaction between Mr. Blue and Bstgirl III who is actually a grown woman.” Lacey thinks. “It became unclear to me at a certain point how they were always perfectly orchestrating these interactions, because at times they would use someone who had commented on one of their posts to continue the conversation or they would find ways of interacting with other people’s accounts to stage their own interactions, and it was very complex. I couldn’t figure out if I was insane or if they just sat around endlessly for hours, coming up with ways to use random things on Twitter to communicate with each other.”

“Do you sometimes wonder if they were trying to target you or or what? What do you what what are your hypothesis?” asks a reader.

“Yes, of course I think they might’ve been trying to target me at times because of my family or just out of pure hatred or both. And I also wonder of times if it was just a simple reality that these people are really that nerdy. I meant for all I know they could’ve been on Adderall sitting around high as a kite obsessively finding ways to communicate with each other because they are pampered celebrities with nothing better to do than ti feel incredibly sorry for themselves that they have to do absolutely anything at all. There are other times I wonder if it might have been some sort of spiritual manifestation because maybe they actually were having physical sex at the time and then we’re also posting to Twitter or they were masturbating and posting to Twitter and they didn’t realize that their sexual activities with which other would manifest demonically. And by saying that I mean that they were having some sort of sexual interaction in the Illuminati in person, and then it was manifesting on Twitter. Or it could’ve been some combination of all of the above. That they masturbated, tried to communicate in code obsessively while high and then it worked out brilliantly due to demon activity? Maybe all the above and they were trying to target me.

Anyway, the point is, I don’t know because they’ve never explained all these years. They’ve never explained. I know that they’re very cagey and stupid about it but I don’t really know. Are there any other possibilities anyone else would like to suggest?” asks Lacey.

“I like the Adderall explanation the best. I have a feeling that people commented on their posts and then they would direct you there somehow and then it’ll be like they were coded say look on my fourth answer, and then the fourth answer would be a comment to someone else and that person would have like a zucchini and a garden on their Twitter. And then you knew that they were trying to fuck you and that’s probably all that it was.” says Nancy.

“Yes, that’s spot on, but there were some things that were more complicated than that that scare me and make me wonder if there’s a spiritual component.” says Lacey.

Time Traveller by M. I. A. plays.

“Oh, do you think they know that?” asks Nancy.

“I certainly hope so. They pretend to at the very least, but I don’t know if they do or not.” says Lacey.

“Yeah but see I try to kill Lacey all the time using the supernatural. Doesn’t work! So see there’s proof that it’s not real. And that’s all the proof you need.” says Bobby Kennedy Jr. with the utmost confidence.

“Isn’t it possible that God’s keeping her alive?” asks Bill Gates.

“Why would God do that? He hates rich people.” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“So then you’re not rich? Or you are and that’s why your life has been so difficult because he hates you…because you’re so rich?” asks Bill Gates.

“I resent that. I resent your implication!” says Bobby.

“What is my implication?” asks Bill Gates.

“That’s silly.” says Bobby. “I’m aroused by Lacey right now just so everyone knows.” he awkwardly asks that everyone understand.

“Hey are you sure that it’s Lacey? You seem gay?” says a German to Bobby.

“You know that’s a very complicated thing to discuss. But I am quite sure that it’s not allowed in Heaven and that’s ultimately where I am going as a Catholic.” says Bobby.

The song plays.

“Why isn’t Lacey in love with me? That’s really offensive.” says Bobby.

“I don’t think you’re her type. I think she’s just not attracted to you.” says Nancy.

An ad that Bobby imagines raping Lacey and forces her to imagine it with him at the very end he says, “Did you fall in love with me when we orgasmed?”

“No, of course not. No absolutely not. It was something I had to quickly debate, but no. Sorry, the answer is no and actually I’m not even convinced that we did orgasm. I think that might’ve just been in your imagination but if that was possible, even then, it might not be possible, the answer is no. The answer is still no. Sorry.” says Lacey

“OK but then if orgasms don’t mean anything Lacey, then then how do we exist?” asks a Satanist.

“OK you guys are making the same mistake that Lem made. You are confusing a physiological response to intense stimulus with an emotional spiritual intention.” says Lacey, forcing herself to be patient.

The song plays.

“OK fine but then it’s still not meant for anyone other than a consensual partner and rape can still exist.” says Tsar Vladimir Putin.

“Yes, absolutely. That is absolutely true!” says Lacey.

“The problem with being a liberal is that we don’t really know how to think things through. We seem smart in college but then, as you get older, you realize that we’re idiots and so we rely on peoples fear and anxiety to run the country.” explains Chris Hayes of MSNBC.

“Are you being serious or sarcastic? Because if that’s true, we don’t deserve to have any votes anywhere.” says Katy Tur.

“So on that note we’re done.” says a DNC spokesman.

“Hey, so you’re done? Yeah, but it’s my blog and I have my own brain so that’s a bit of a problem for you because I’m not done writing.” says Lacey.

“What we would like to talk about is why she snubbed everyone at Messiah. Her family gave her a false impression of who they were and then because of that she misunderstood what they were telling her to do with people. So essentially, we inadvertently communicated to her to snub everyone, but she didn’t realize she was snubbing people because she thought we were the salt of the Earth.” says Mark Nesheim.

“So you gave her the impression that we were all criminals or people who were basically impossible to comprehend, and she assumed that it had something to do with Christianity, or some mysterious thing that she hadn’t quite pinpointed, and she didn’t realize that she was just snubbing people for reasons of social class?” asks the Native American woman.

“Yes but then she’s still above you and you’re an idiot who lied about your class?” says Mark Nesheim.

“Sniffing is that we added because we love to think of her as a dog even though she’s extraordinarily beautiful because she smells perfume and then it’s like it’s funny because then she smells us like a dog. See a dog so it’s like she has this beautiful face, and then she sees things like a dog, but it’s like she’s a dog face and then she’s not a dog face, but that’s our way of making fun of her because we’re superior somehow and then it’s like she smells us and it’s like oh I can tell this person is poor slowly but I’m not sure if she’s actually even smelling at all she might actually be holding her breath so it might not really work but that’s the joke.” says a snobby Satanist in the Illuminati.

“Oh, that’s not really funny. OK so when she dies we’re all in deep shit potentially and I’m sure alone was gay. Guys seriously Lem was gay. He was gay was. Gay yeah and then the nations are poor and positive of it and llamas gay I was so gay I mean he was just the gas salt ever live. He was so gay that’s what Jackson Jack said he was the gay assault to ever live and Jack would never lie. I mean it’s possible that land may be controlled his entire world and I was devastated when he died and turned to heroin because he was a super secret spy was Julen was gay. I am positive of it and so then I was gay and that’s just all there is to it lame was gay and when he’s fucking Lacey, it’s because she’s Jack or you know he’s confused.” says Bobby.

Holst’s The Planets plays.

“Why do you think Lem is confused when he’s having sex with Lacey?” Red Fay asks Bobby.

“Because there’s…a huge problem…with Lem was in love with me.” says Bobby.

“So you think Lem is in love with you and that’s the reason why when he’s about ready to have an orgasm with Lacey that you should stop him?” asks a gay man.

“And yes, because I think that the orgasms that they’ve had have connected them to each other in a profound and meaningful way that I understand but umm…Lem is hiding from me and it’s a mystery that I have to unravel like science fiction. So I need to study their sexual patterns to unravel his mystery…of how he connects to her so I can obliterate her on behalf of Jack and myself to connect us.” says Wobbly.

“So it’s like Star Trek but where you have prevent him from having a meaningful orgasm with Lacey and then by preventing that you’re able to study the orgasm?” asks Michael. “Every orgasm that we give someone and they give us is individual it’s like nothing else that’s ever been created in all of human history and that’s why it hurts so much when someone cheats. If if it’s rape, that’s one thing and then it’s just a physiological response, but when you give some of yourself to someone you either have to reclaim that and give it to your partner or there’s no other way to restore that part of yourself.”

Time Traveller by M. I. A. plays.

“Why do you constantly wanna be evil Mr. blue not everyone necessarily wants to be that evil all of the time?” asks Bobby.

“OK so Bobby, I think you’re trying to minimize the significance of the orgasm that Lacey has given Lem and that Lem has given Lacey. Because you’ve probably heard them give each other basically supernatural orgasms to the point where umm they both become extraordinarily beautiful in a way that maybe you’ve never thought of before. Because they already are gorgeous naked both of them I’m sure but I have a feeling when they become one it’s extraordinary and that’s not something unfamiliar to my people truly. Where do you think the Kama Sutra came from? A lot of us are Christians over here now which is interesting.

So I think what we’re really talking about is an an ability on your part to understand reality, and it seems like you are delusional. If you really are in love with him, it seems like you’re delusional, Bobby, and that you are somehow not comprehending that you lost completely and that you never had a chance to begin with at all. Why are you so fixated on Lem?” asks an Indian.

“He was really brilliant and he was tall and he was handsome and he was everything I’ve ever wanted to be, and will never be as a man or as a human…and it’s probably incredibly hard for me to comprehend how Lacey can exist because then I have to concede that it has nothing to do with me at all…or Jack. And there are a lot of people that don’t want me to think that Lem killed my father or my uncle even if he did. And yet Lacey can handle that and I have a feeling that Lem can handle that, I have a feeling a lot of people can handle that possibility, heck I can almost handle it, but it forces me to not be narcissistic. It forces me to realize that I was an evil a little kid. It forces me to see that I was an extraordinarily perverted, despicable child by choice, and yet that I was still child.

I can handle that to some extent but to be honest where I fall apart potentially is that my supporters can’t handle it because they don’t like the thought of me being snubbed by Lem. Or my father being snubbed. That’s scary to them because then they don’t feel like they have an in to the upper class and I can’t protect them.” says Wobbly.

“OK so if that’s true, and it might not be, you might just be a very good liar…we’re not gonna believe you for your sake or ours or anyone else’s in a good way. …But if that’s true, you sound more like your father than Jack by a long-shot. I just think you should know that.” says a journalist.

More later.

“OK so maybe Lem’s not capable of having sex with you Wobbly or being in love with you and you need you just let it go.” says a man in the Illuminati.

“Why are you guys so attached to that American mythology?” asks Bill Rhea. “I read Jack and Lem, Lem and Jack and it was very hard to read.” says Bill Rhea.

“OK I don’t care. Your opinion means nothing to me.” says Wobbly.

“I am a professor. I have an IQ of 160. I’m a genius and my opinion should matter to you.” says Bill Rhea.

“What did you think of the book?” asks Tucker Carlson.

“I thought it was going to be thrilling. My expectations were high and…that’s a mistake I still make. Chalk it up to a happy childhood.

Lem comes across like a buffoon! Arguably one of the dumbest men in history.

He bases his whole life on this idea that Jack Kennedy is his best friend. But to base your whole life on that premise is…absurd.” says Bill Rhea.

Lacey laughs.

“Lem tries to…be Jack’s best friend according to David Pitts. But we’re left scratching our head as to what exactly David Pitts thinks a best friend is.” says Bill Rhea.

Lacey laughs.

“Zoom zoom in the front. Zoom zoom in the back.” says a gay man.

“Yeah!!! But David Pitts mostly avoids that kind of premise.” says Bill Rhea. “So it’s completely unclear what his definition of a best friend even is.”

“Well, obviously his definition has something to do with homosexuality, but it’s it’s a queer way of trying to be married without being married Bill.” says Wobbly.

“Mm..yeah that that would be true. But he doesn’t really examine that in the book. He just expects the reader to somehow have this fanciful definition of best friendship lodged into their mind before he writes the book. And that’s absurd to expect that of a reader, because there is no such working definition. Do you understand why it frustrates me?

It frustrates me, because I as a reader have no idea what he means by that. Does he mean that Lem was gay? Does he mean that Lem was bisexual? Does he mean that Jack was gay? These are not questions he ever spends time trying to fully assess and instead we are left wondering, ‘What was the point of reading this book?’ The problem for me becomes as a philosopher of sorts: Why can’t he be honest? What is the point that he wanted to make?! I mean the man spent 20 years researching it and you don’t spend two decades of your life, trying to say something and then just never say it without something terrifying clearly being in your way. And at what worries me is that Lacey’s premise could actually be the reason why he can’t complete his book as it should be completed. But Lacey is extraordinarily mysterious. You have no idea how mysterious she actually really is.” says Bill Rhea.

“Bill, are you? Are you Lem reincarnated?” asks David Pitts.

“That’s extremely disturbing potentially and also very funny. No, I don’t think I am, but if I am I’m obviously not aware of that even though God knows. So let’s just say that I am for the sake of laughs.” says Bill Rhea.

“Were you gay?” asks Lacey.

“Let me think! No. But I could see myself being confused and thinking I was gay.” says Bill Rhea.

“How could you have made that mistake?” asks Lacey.

“Easily for physiological reasons actually. Apparently everyone else is confused by that explanation but I’m not. That would easily be something that would stump me too in the 1930’s.” says Bill Rhea.

“What was that like? I mean I don’t think it was you, but what was that like pretending to be gay?” asks Lacey.

“Absolute Hell. I would’ve felt like a clown constantly, and had a very hard time living with myself, but I would’ve thought that I was doing the moral thing to do.” says Bill Rhea.

“How is that moral?” asks Lacey.

“Because I would’ve felt like I was doing my duty to God and the country and man by acting like myself, I guess, as I conceived myself to be.” says Bill Rhea.

“You once told me that you were your own magnum opus. Do you suppose Lem thought he was his own magnum opus as a gay opus?” asks Lacey.

“If I’m Lem we were in love and we still are just so you know.” says Bill Rhea. “Yeah.. but if I’m not Lem we still are in love if I’m Lem. Does that make sense? I have a feeling it does…honestly Lacey I think if I’m not Lem…that we’re a lot alike and yes, obviously this man thought he was his own magnum opus if he was straight, and to be honest, I kind of think he was probably straight…and if I’m not him and you’re sleeping with him you…and I…never slept together…but I am a lot like him in which case…if I am him we were probably married in the 1800s…but if I am not him…and you’re sleeping with him don’t do that to him. It really will piss him off.” says Bill Rhea.

“You mean don’t sleep with anyone other than him?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah! No you don’t understand why that would bother someone probably anymore do you.” says Bill Rhea.

“No, I don’t entirely. Why is it so terrible?” asks Lacey.

“I’m not judging because I have a feeling that your husband that you married was an interesting fellow. …It’s it’s it’s it’s extraordinarily hurtful…and that sounds so shrill. It’s hard to explain because you would never make the same mistakes that I’ve made or that he made. And it makes us such different people than you so think who even knows anymore. You wonder if it even bothers men at all. You think that maybe they actually want someone who sleeps around. We have definitely given you that impression. I did. Lem did. A lot of men have given you that impression that we prefer sluts for love and monogamy, ironically. Almost like the only way to get us to be faithful is to stab us in the gut first and make us chase you by sleeping with tons of other men otherwise we’re not remotely interested in your soul at all.

I got drunk and called you and told you that you were beautiful. I don’t think I was ever able to be more honest than in that moment.

And if I’m Lem I ruined it but I know that I haven’t ruined us. I don’t think that’s possible.

Honestly…even if I’m not Lem I do empathize with him a lot more than you might think.

I was cruel to you. I’m sorry I was so cruel to you and again that’s where I don’t think that I’m actually necessarily Lem and if I am, I have to be careful not to hate God for destroying the part of me that you would love and saving the part of me that you don’t understand, but that still loves you. I guess worst case scenario that’s what happened. I love my wife but I was actually very in love with you and you didn’t know that and I might love her more than you. And if I’m not him I’m sure you were hoping I would say that, maybe I can say that so don’t worry…but no you don’t understand. And I suppose in a way that’s why you do it isn’t it because you know that you don’t really know…so what difference does it even make?” he says crying.

“Oh yes, absolutely. On a certain level it’s it’s that I’ve never been loved so then what difference does it even make if someone doesn’t claim me and fight for me or isn’t willing to go out on a limb for me? Why do I even have to worry…because I would go so far for someone else, obviously.” says Lacey.

“So the idea is that if someone isn’t willing to love you and I know what you mean, I actually really do…then there’s no reason to be faithful because they don’t really have you anyway?” says Bill Rhea.

“Yes. That’s yes. Because why-what am I being faithful to? Rejection and loneliness and desperation? I want to be loved and if I’m not being loved I can’t lie to myself about that.” says Lacey.

“No you’re right, you don’t know at all but you’re not a child…you have to know that we have feelings-but I have to cut myself off because no you don’t know that men have feelings because we lie about that all the time. And if you’re not being loved, it’s too pitiful to be faithful and the only self-respecting truly lovable thing, loving thing to do, and maybe lovable thing to do is to sleep with someone else because that’s all we respect and God’s not monitoring anything all that well obviously probably through no fault of His own, obviously, so then, as a woman you have to be brave and fight for yourself because that’s literally all that you have as an option. That is a wretched, bitter reality. You’re living in Hell!” says Bill Rhea. “And I have a feeling you don’t think that there’s much chance of heaven, even though you’re not even dead.”

“I don’t think about it. I don’t think about it. I don’t talk about it with myself because it’s too depressing. I literally can’t figure out how to fix it. Sometimes I worry that I have died and gone to Hell and sometimes I think that a part of me genuinely has died and gone to Hell, but then I look at how dark the world is and I think maybe that’s not the case maybe there’s still hope maybe the world is just so awful right now that it feels like permanent Hell but maybe there’s some chance of reprieve in the future, when I actual die and God can sort it out with me in person, but more clearly when I’m fully dead, at least…but no it’s it’s wretched you’re right, it’s absolutely vile, an absolutely vile existence.” says Lacey.

“Then let me tell you how much it hurts because I don’t think you ever heard an answer to that. I’m going to let Lem tell his answer because I have a feeling I might not be Lem but for me it’s total defeat but worse it’s not Hell but it comes close.” says Bill Rhea.

“Are you straight?” Wobbly asks Bill Rhea.

“I would answer that, but you have absolutely no respect for anyone’s opinion other than your own on that topic about everyone. All of you are like that. Yes of course I’m straight. I’m entirely straight. I’m sure Lacey wondered. I’m sure you would prefer that I wasn’t but I am. I’m 100% straight, as in heterosexual, as an all I wanna do is fuck chicks, although that that’s not quite what I mean to say, it’s not like I want to just sleep with every woman alive. Umm…I like women in that way. Do you get do you get my drift? I am heterosexual.” says Bill Rhea.

“If you’re Lem Billings, or can speak on his behalf, did you fuck me in my sleep?” asks Wobbly.

“I certainly haven’t in this life! If I am Lem at all, no? Absolutely not!!!!” says Bill Rhea.

“I’m not Bill Rhea.” says Lem Billings.

“Are we a lot alike?” asks Bill Rhea.

“We are extraordinarily similar and if people knew you they’d understand why I was confused and they’d understand why I was friends with Jack without being anything like him and yet still being straight and being confused and thinking I was gay. What would scare them is what it says about Jack.” says Lem.

“We sound alike, that’s kind of creepy.” says Bill Rhea.

“True. But do you know what I mean about Jack?” says Lem.

“I do, if we’re not the same person it’s interesting…because I do.” says Bill Rhea.

“Do tell!” says Lem.

“He was fun and he let you have fun.

He made life more fun. Or maybe joyful?

But then things got weird…and you were confused obviously because you thought you were gay but even with that…things still just got weird…and then they just stayed weird. So I don’t really think people understand how disinterested you actually were and and I’m not sold on the idea that they understand what happened to you emotionally after he died I think people have totally misunderstood you. Actually Jack reminds me of one of my old girlfriends. I caught her making out with a gay man who she claimed was just her gay friend, and it was very hurtful. No, he was a needy, clingy and weird…thespian.” says Bill Rhea. “He was an actor. He pretended to be you and you were…lost.”

“Lacey is taking off with me. Thank you for bring so empathetic, Bill.” says Lem.