Jack’s Ass

“See! Lacey is fucking a Jew.” says JFK to Lem as an I-told-you-so. “I’d never do that to you. We’re just two guys. I don’t lie.”

Lem seeing Jack for the first time in over 40 years stares at him. This is literally the first time he’s seen Jack since Jack’s death.

“Umm. No. She hasn’t actually done anything new.” says Lem. “It’s me she’s worried about with you.”

“New? Who cares.” says Jack.

“You’re constantly flirting with me.” says Lem. “You’re such a loser.”

Jack looks surprised.

He furrows his brow.

“Yeah. You seem pushy, cheap and needy.” says Lem.

“What did I seem like before?” asks JFK.

“I didn’t understand. I thought you were being funny.” says Lem.

“Let’s talk about this photo.” says Lem.

“No. Let’s not.” says Jack sexily, with glaring overconfidence.

“I’ll help. You’re ANNOYING her.” yells Louis at Lem. “What the fuck is the point of this conversation?!”

“She doesn’t trust me.” says Lem. “And she can. But I’m going to disagree with popular opinion and say that I respect that. She can. And it’s best if she can. But…”. He shrugs. “I’m not that stupid. I respect it.”

“Umm…I hated Jack. I loved being mean to him at times. Like actually mean. In this photo I was trying to wear him out. That’s part of the reason I’m smiling. It’s why I’m being so nice with my hands. To fool him by appearing to be his lover to him. And he’s completely fooled like a dolt. …I was a much bigger boy. And he was actually pretty wimpy. …I was pretending to be loving to physically hurt him.” says Lem. “I also hated Jack. I said that. But I need to repeat it. I hated him.” says Lem. “I hated you!!” he yells at Jack Kennedy. “You worthless piece of human garbage.” And at that he flips Jacks shirt over his head and then throws him across a living-room. Jack hits the ground. “I’ve attacked you. How did you not realize that was me? That’s not supposed to be allowed. Who keeps attacking the cross?”

“But we haven’t actually interacted.” says Jack.

“No! You slut! I’m not over you…but that’s only because I was never attached to you. I wasn’t attracted to men, Jack. That was like a psychosis for me.” says Lem.

Jack stands up. Dusts himself off. “Sorry. I have to go.” says Lem.

Lem walks down stairs.

“I’ll revisit that. All of it. Later.” says Lem to the Illuminati. “Lacey, I’ll never betray you. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Listen…you don’t understand. Umm…you seriously think I’m too hot for you?” he asks.

He stares at her.

“I don’t know. As a person I am. But as an outward appearance…I’m unclear.” says Lacey. “I’d say yes. But…I don’t want to cheat you.”

He sighs.

“You are prettier than your photos.” says Lem. “I’m not.”

“Alright.” says Lacey.

“Lem.” says Max.

Lem stares at Max.

“We’re going there.” says Max. “Do you understand her character?”

(Adult content below)

Shift by Grizzly Bear plays.

“She was this beautiful.” says Max. “Really. She was better…but no one will easily believe that.”

The song plays.

“When they ask her about herself all she hears are Jack’s insults and your supposed rejection. And that’s all just lies.” says Max. “When she sleeps…at night…she curls her hip and bends her gorgeous legs. And then her supple, thin stomach floats downward to her legs and forms a sexy arch as it alights further downwards towards her elegant, thin, Grecian feet. He breasts are divine. And…her lovely shoulders are a poetic song. Her butt…”. He laughs. “It’s perfect. Her body is rarer than it should be. And it’s perfectly permanent. And I love it. …Do you?”

“I do.” says Lem.

“Then what’s your problem?” asks Max.

“Lem. I slept with her because of Jack.” says Max.