Lacey had bad dreams again last night.
(Written on the morning Sept. 11th, 2023)
She now sits with Max in his 1920’s living-room in 2010 on a sofa facing Jack.
Shift by Grizzly Bear plays.
“He had to go home, Jack.” says Max.
They stare coldly at him.
“I don’t think you understand. My father is J. P. Kennedy.” says Jack Kennedy.
“What difference does that make?!” yells Max.
“His father is Aaron Greenbaum.” says Lacey.
Jack rolls his eyes.
“My father is Thomas Banks.” says Lacey.
Jack looks scared. Embarrassed.
“I didn’t realize Lem was a Jew.” he says stupidly, apologetically.
“Jack you’re getting confused.” says Max.
“I’m not Jewish and neither is Lem.” says Lacey.
“Yeah right!” says JFK scoffing.
“Jack that makes no sense.” says Lacey.
“Lem is with me!!” yells Jack.
“No. Lem had to go home. Your little fake-gay sleepover only lasted…around 30 years.” says Max.
“But he said he loved me his whole life.” says JFK.
“He meant what?” asks Max.
“Okay. That’s not clear. It’s a complex statement.” says JFK.
“Yes. And how many times has she aroused him and they’ve fucked? 300? 500?” asks Max.
“Aww. Good job, Lem!” laughs JFK condescendingly.
“Jack. He was either bisexual and is totally over you…or…he was straight and we’ve totally misunderstood his meanings. Get a grip, man.” says Max.
“I’ll get you for this, Max!” says JFK.
“No. You won’t.” says Max.
Shift (Son Remix) by Grizzly Bear plays.
“Lem belongs to Christ.” says Max.
As if in a bad drug dream Jack shifts uneasily in his seat.
“I’ll see you in court!” yells Jack Kennedy at Max.
“Why are you yelling at me?” asks Max.
“Because if you fucked Lacey…Lem was straight. I’m not allowing that!!” yells JFK.
“I did.” says Max.
“No. Fundamentally untrue!” says JFK.
“Lacey where did you get married?” asks the intellectual Illuminati.
“Las Vegas.” says Lacey.
“I’d bet that book is about Bobby and Jack going to Las Vegas to stop her wedding. And getting high and disorientated.” says Robert Downey Jr.. “Hunter S. Thompson was a genius and he may have been psychic.”
“I was!” says Hunter S. Thompson. “You might be right on the money, but be careful. Exercise caution. It’s Hell. Not a hug from Jesus.”
“Nah. He’s a fag.” says JFK.
“Then how does he keep getting aroused by Lacey?” asks Max.
“I DON’T KNOW!!” yells JFK.
Shift by Grizzly Bear plays.
“I don’t think that’s possible without him being straight.” says Jeffrey Epstein to JFK.
“Why?” asks Jack.
Sex Tourists (which sounds like Shift) by Grizzly Bear plays. It’s about the desecration of the Earth by man through “tourism.”
“Because…his cock gets so big!” says Jeffrey Epstein. “Isn’t that…queer…Jack?”
“It’s…perfectly normal.” says Jack.
“No. It’s not unless he’s straight.” says Jeffrey Epstein.
The song plays.
“Jack…they’re getting aroused by each other.” says Jeffrey Epstein.
“Why are you explaining this to me? I’m so much better than you.” says JFK.
“Because you don’t seem to cognitively understand and Jeff is a patient man.” says Hunter S. Thompson.
“Alright. Lem is straight now.” says JFK both whining and indignant.
“No. He has a huge hard dick in 1962 from Lacey too.” says Hunter S. Thompson.
Hearing Damage by Thom Yorke plays.
“That’s a lie.” says JFK sounding high and disoriented but attempting to sound scientific.
“I think it’s true.” says Hunter S. Thompson.
“I think I you’re getting bored!” says JFK.
Guess Again by Thom Yorke plays.
“No. I’m getting put to sleep by your stupidity.” says Thom Yorke to JFK.
“Because it doesn’t go anywhere, Jack.” says Brian. He yawns.
“Jack…where does this all go?” asks Lem’s mother.
“It brings us to the door of my house in 1943.” says JFK.
“And then what?” says Brian. He yawns again.
The song plays.
“Dude. You’re psychotically jealous of Lacey. Right? And…so you don’t have the ability to fathom reality?” asks a dead football player. He died in 2005 in a car accident?
The Axe by Thom Yorke plays as an allusion to The Shining.
“Where’s Lem?!” asks JFK.
“Jack…when Lem sucked your cock and gave you orgasms…did you give him your soul?” asks Hunter S. Thompson.
“No. I gave him…” Jack breaks off. “Yes.” he admits.
“Then where is it?” asks Max in fear.
“Lem is keeping it safe!” he says as if he’s being controlled by demons in Hell.
“Yeah…well…what if…Lem didn’t want to fuck you? What if he never asked for your soul in a real way? He didn’t want it Jack.” says Jeffrey Epstein.
“But I thought he did!” says JFK.
“And you got happy and high off of it!” says Lacey.
“Yeah. Every time.” says JFK.
Lacey smiles. “But did Lem catch it?”
“Where did it go, Jack?” asks Max.
“Lem wanted it?” says JFK.
“And if he didn’t?” asks Billy Wilder.
“What happened to it?” says Lacey.
“It went into darkness?” says JFK.
“Yeah. Because he didn’t even see it. His mind was elsewhere every time. He wasn’t in love the way you were. He was confused. That’s all.” says Jeffrey Epstein kindly.
JFK smiles. “I’m sorry but where’s Lem.” says JFK to Jeffrey Epstein like his mind has become nothing but a broken record.
“Here. Here’s your soul.” says Lacey to JFK.
Jack takes it soul. It’s fully intact.
“How did she get it?!?” asks JFK.
“I found it.” says Lacey.
“Where??” asks Kick.
“Laying on the ground. In the film Strangers On A Train. It was all over the ground everywhere.” says Lacey. “Well…it had seeped into the soil, actually.” She thinks. “I found it when I visited New York City in 2004.” She thinks. “It was next to the Twin Towers. On the ground.”
Louis laughs. “New Amsterdam indeed.”
“Jack…how did your soul find its way to New Amsterdam?” asks the Illuminati Satanists.
The Axe by Thom Yorke plays again.
Listen. Doesn’t it sound like the Twin Towers at the beginning?
Native Americans dance in glory of God.
“We never had a deal.” says Lem. “I didn’t love you in that way. …And I possibly didn’t love you at all.” says Lem to Jack.
“So then I imagined your love? Every time you sucked my cock?!?” asks JFK, totally in shock.
Jack gets off a ride in Coney Island.
“So that was all fake?” asks Jack. He looks at the ride.
“That’s just a ride?!” he asks.
“Yup. You pay and it’s fun. But then you have to get off the ride.” says a working class woman in Coney Island.
He looks up at the ride.
“Can I marry it?” asks Jack sincerely.
He runs up to the ride and hugs it.
“No.” says the woman like he’s crazy.
“But it was…Heaven.” says JFK.
“Really??” asks David Eigenberg.
“Yeah. Really?” says Mel Pantell. “Huh. I don’t believe you, but explain.”
“It wasn’t even sex, Jack.” says Reta Banks.
“It was to me!” says Jack.
“But was it really Heaven?!” asks Mel.
The Piano In The Bathtub by Department of Eagles plays.
“YES!!” says Jack letting her experience what he did from Lem.
Later.
Low Five by Sneaker Pimps plays as a stock broker smirks and smokes a cigarette as a ghost outside the Twin Towers. They hadn’t fallen yet. He stood there and watched.
“Well. I guess that’s one way to get out of work!” says another dead man.
They laugh together.
He stares up at the Twin Towers and suddenly is worried.
Lacey looks at him.
She’s extremely beautiful but he’s unsurprised.
She smiles at him.
“What the heck is going on?” he asks her.
“Oh. Terrorists supposedly hit the Twin Towers today.” says Lacey.
He instantly understands.
“There are later conspiracy theories that it was an inside job.” says Lacey.
“In the US?!?” he asks.
“Yes!” says Lacey.
“Huh. What do you think?” he asks.
“I think it was like Pearl Harbor.” says Lacey. “But I don’t it’s working the way it was supposed to.”
He cries.
“Are they ready to fall?” he asks.
“Yes?” says Lacey.
“Yeah! That one looks ready to fall.” he says.
“Yeah. I see it too.” says Lacey.
“They’re lazy.” he says sarcastically.
“Did you feel any pain?” asks Lacey.
“Mmm…the fire ball was weird at first. But then my face was blown off and into pieces and my brain was like, ‘Wow! And I watched and it was cool.’” he says.
“Your husband is scared I’ll hit on you.” he says.
“Oh my gosh! I can hear your thoughts!” he says in wonder.
“My husband is attractive.” says Lacey.
He smiles and nods.
“Listen. You need to go. But…pray to God.” he says.
“You were Catholic?” says Lacey.
“Yes.” he might say.
“Have happiness!” says Lacey cheerfully.
She’s off.
“Jack. I don’t get the sense that what you experienced with Lem was Heaven.” says Lacey.
“What does it seem like?” he asks.
“Once I had terrible-“ Lacey starts explaining.
“I bet you didn’t expect to be more sexually experienced than JFK.” says the dead stock broker to Lacey, laughing.
“I was a virgin until I was 26.” says Lacey.
“But you were sexually experienced before then.” says the dead stock broker.
“Yes. I experienced some sexual activity that started at age 24.” says Lacey.
“But you calculated it.” he says, sadly.
“Doesn’t everyone?” asks Lacey.
“Lacey, we’re smarter than most people.” he says, still sadly.
“When did you lose your virginity?” she asks.
“18.” he says.
“You seem more experienced than that. Maybe you have something. We’ll see.” says Lacey Pantell. Or is it Pentell? Probably Pantell.
“Lacey Banks.” says Thomas Banks.
“Anyways!” says the dead stock broker.
“You seem very experienced!” says Lacey.
“I am…somewhat.” says the dead stock broker.
“Are you more experienced than JFK?” she asks.
He thinks. “Yeah!” he decides.
“I’m sorry, I find this weird. It creeps me out.” she says.
“Yeah.” he says.
And at that the tower falls.
30 people who needed to die do. They walk out and a woman wearing a silk blouse looks stunned.
“I’m better off dead. My son is in his adulthood and my husband and I are divorced. I’m incredibly lonely! And aging.” she says. “This is nice. I was getting exhausted.”
“Look…it’s nice to be alive. But it’s nice to be with God.” says someone who died happily on 9/11.
“So that’s bad sex?” Jack Kennedy asks Lacey Pantell Banks (?).
“Yes!” yells Max Greenbaum.
Jack thinks. “Okay. Judith Exner was better.” he admits.
Running Up That Hill as sang by Placebo plays.
“Then why wonder?” asks Lacey.
“Because it was gay sex.” says JFK.
“Yeah. But…gay men can’t all be that…confused in that way? Right?” says Lacey, bluntly.
Jack looks stunned. “No. But…Lem is hotter than Red. And Rip.”
“There are hot gay men.” says Lacey.
Jack thinks. “Not like that!” he says.
“Like what?” asks Lacey.
“Like…manly and dry and boring. Like John Corbett in And Just Like That.” says JFK.
He looks at her funny.
“Lem’s like my dad.” he says.
“He’s not necessarily like John Corbett.” says Lacey.
Jack looks creeped out.
“You really did like my dad.” says JFK, to Lacey.
“Yes!” says Lacey. “But he’s my father’s age. And I think I belong to Lem.”
Jack cries.
“I’m sorry.” he says crying.
“Jack, can you be happy?” asks Lacey.
“If I’m not in Hell.” he says.
“I’ll leave it at that.” says Lacey.
And at that Lacey leaves hoping Jack will be ministered to by angels.
Keen to Cross the Pond 